#my life just never starts? | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

megroha · 4 months ago

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#all i do on tunglr is little vent posts lately #anyways im tired of being so uncomfortable and unhappy all the time #if i'm lucky i can distract myself for a little while but i always come back to it #i really really miss my adhd meds!#i just feel like a stupid dumb idiot because i can't do anything!!!!#:O mfw my disability disables me #but it really is soooo fucked #everywhere i look i see things that used to bring me so much joy but they're also big missed opportunities!#because everything just falls apart in my hands #i can't Lock In to anything #my life just never starts?#i need my independence i need to live on my own #but as a real life zombie i could not possibly hold down a job that would afford me that rn #i dont want to waste any more time but i do need a chill 3 week coma #i need to be put in a sensory deprivation tank for 4 days #i need another media detox probably but i'd still be equally unable to get anything done #i need to go live on a mountain

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eydilily · 10 days ago

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promises

#wild life smp #pearlescentmoon #geminitay #impulsesv #soup group #life series smp #trafficblr #eydidraws #my art #okay so at the start of wildlife i drew soup group together (just for me)#and i never finished it because gem was in another team so it made no sense to anyone else #but somehow at the end they were still connected through pearl so now i had a reason to draw these three again!!! yay for me #also i was supposed to be doing 2 other things but iended up drawing this instead someone save me

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inkskinned · 2 months ago

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having good & true friends will literally save and protect you in a million unfathomable ways. like okay we have written so many times about lovers. but the way a platonic friend laughs and cries with you. the way they hold your hand at 14 years old and at 34. the way they keep a little silver tie to you, touching base over and over and over. how you can go years without talking, only to re-meet and discover: oh shit! you're still cool!

there are people who have been in my life for more than half of it, and i have loved every version of them. do you know how fucking beautiful that is. yeah love will save the world. but the way friends love you is gonna save the you.

#and before one of u is like '' i have no friends :(" i used to be there too actually #abusive partner cut me off from ALL of 'em. i didn't think i was lovable #it made me EXCEPTIONALLY shy. i still am actually!!!!#i just ... started saying ''yes.''#i would take pictures of flyers in my library and go to whatever events they had #i started taking community classes #if someone mentioned like ''i am gonna start x group'' i actually took a deep breath #and approached them to be like . okay i want in.#i started making the first move with new people - a small compliment #a smile or a little joke. just to share the space with them.#i have MASSIVE social anxiety. bad parent and bad relationship will do that to ya.#but i just... kept going. and going. and going. to each of these little things. and then...#like. .... idk i just am very blessed. i have a STUPID number of friends #a lot of which i reconnected with. bc it turns out love is never wasted. adult life just.#like. gets in the way. but also... i loved u as a weird little kid. i love u now as a weird big adult.#i promise i PROMISE ur friends are out there. u just have 2 find them. and btw #i didn't make friends with everyone. but i did get a lot of people to smile or laugh.#aint that something.#this process took me something like 2 years. it was HARD!!!!!!!!!!#i love u!!! hard things are often worth it!!!

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hotcinnamonsunset · 8 months ago

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🎣lure me in, baby!

#knitting #wip #knitblr #pattern is Lure Me In on Ravelry🐠#all of this started because I reblogged a photo set of fishing lures on here and immediately was taken aback by the sheer amount of fishing #wordplay there is out there. like. reel me in here if I get carried away. catch and release me if nothing else. i'll never stop baiting you #anyways! fun details! a return of the fibonacci spaced waves on the sleeves my signature fav. stitches that look like fish along the raglan #and fishing lure colorwork designed by yours truly who has only been fishing once in her life and was ultimately just as thrilled digging u #worms for bait because I sure as heck didn’t have sick fishing lures like these😅#fish art

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bigfatbreak · 9 months ago

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Birds of a Feather previous / next

#my art #feralnette au #birds of a feather #long tags #sorry I went apeshit in the tags #LETS SAY IT ALL TOGETHER NOW #I - M - A - G - OOOOOOOOO #its fun drawing marinette's back to Alya and having her appear stout and unstoppable and totally logical #and then you see her face and she's like two seconds from completely snapping and is keeping it together by a thread #as a note just because mari feels very certainly abt smth doesnt mean she's right. feelings can be valid and also irrational #in the throes of grief she decided it was better to be alone than to lose someone again so she started pulling away #and lila made pulling away very very very easy to do #shes also vaguely aware she's being unfair in pinning this on alya which is why she started spinning the drain on cockmoth again #legitimately all the shit that's happened to her wouldn't have been so catastrophic if he was never in the picture and she knows it #but the bitterness of her bestie choosing a fantastic liar over her at the worst of times stiiiiiings #alya's personal timing was bad but lila really took advantage of the fact that marinette had been acting off and weird #she basically clocked marinette as being unstable from SOMETHING and made up a lie about her #knowing she wouldn't have the strength to defend herself #between her social life going tachy bc of lila and losing fu in a way that felt like personhood death marinette was really put on the spot #and alya doing her thing of busting in there and assuming her bias is correct was a terrible combo #essentially marinette is highly unstable and alya is just realizing that #busting in and giving her a lecture when she's slightly hysterical and definitely delirious from exhaustion is NOT the way #to show her she's self sabotaging #cuz thats just gonna make her double down on self sabotaging. bc marinette will not accept that she is also a CHIIIIILD

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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 2 months ago

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None of our hands are clean

[First] Prev <–-> Next

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #jin guangshan #mianmian #The secret meaning behind one of the jin members scuttling off is:#I couldn't make three people work out in the remaining panels and per my rule of '3 attempts and take a different approach' he had to go.#Sometimes there are meaningful reasons why something happens in the background. And sometimes it is like this.#Let's just say he saw what was about to happen and got out of there before mianmian started throwing hands.#Okay no more delay. The sheer boldness to call WWX a killer in a room full of people who wear their war body count as a badge...#It's about hypocrisy yes - but it is also about how the narrative shifts on the same action depending on the frame.#Because at the end of the day...the blood on our hands is still blood on our hands.#Both the deaths on the battlefield and the deaths of the Jin's abusing the Wen remnants are still deaths caused by another.#They are also deaths that - depending who holds the frame - are noble acts to protect others.#But it isn't supposed to be about who was right and who was wrong.#It is about the need to be seen as the victim to avoid culpability.#Because if you aren't responsible you don't have to be held accountable. You don't have to grow or change.#If someone takes all the blame then there is no need to reflect on your own faults.#We have to protect our fragile ego from the mirror lest it shatter and we have to remake it anew.#Horrifically enough...even if WWX spared the Jin guards or even never ran into Wen Qing #He wouldn't have been able to escape being the scapegoat. He downfall was set into motion a long time ago.#My goodness...What a deliciously tragic story Wei Wuxian's first life was.

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mimefish · 18 days ago

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ok so did anyone else jump at the lore potential and imagery and symbolism of joel walking down a long narrow corridor to a red door he created to end his series completely of his own volition only for the trap to not work and embarrass him in front of the spectators who were all watching at the time btw. so he just had to go off and kill himself with ender pearl spam. anyone else

#like ok. symbolism cancelled i guess #but also it was so insanely fucking funny like joel never change oh my god #bonus points if you are also a tma fan and started thinking about the spiral. you get it. not anymore though hashtag failwizard #like thats sooooo embarrassing i love it. imagine winning but youre so cringefail you cant even kill yourself with your own trap so you just #have to start literally throwing shit at the wall and seeing what sticks (will kill you)#wild life spoilers #trafficblr #elfy talks #life series #life series spoilers #life series smp #smallishbeans #joel smallishbeans #wild life #wild life smp #mcyt

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sharkylad · 4 months ago

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Thinking about the fact that Mabel and Dipper didn't know they had two great uncles.

Yeah they are 12 and at 12 I had a shotty understanding of my family tree- But really? Nobody brought up their great uncle? Stanley? Especially since they'll be staying with his twin brother, Stanford?

Shermie never went to Stan's fake funeral, which to me means the twos relationship was strained on some level. If Shermie is older that means his view of Stan was poisoned in some way, that even as kids they weren't close. If the Shermie is younger then he never even got to meet Stan and all he knew about him was how he failed his family. Hell, people probably barely mentioned Stanley TO Shermie.

The fact that Stan had become a black stain upon the Pines family name makes me so vividly upset. Stanley faked his death and the family just- seemingly decided to strike him from the record. To pretend he didn't existed to spare themselves the sadness and shame.

Stanford and Shermie Pines. The only children worth mentioning of Filbrick and Caryn Pines.

It was never Stanford that was lost to the world. It was Stanley, ever since he had to leave New Jersy- it was always him that had to be struck from the record. Change his name, change his state, change his affiliations, destroy the remains of ghost that was Stanley Pines. Kill him so the family doesn't bring him up, doesn't ask questions, stops asking "Stanford" about his twin.

I just keep thinking about the fact that since the day he made one single mistake all the way up until Ford walks out of that machine- Stanley Pines was killed and did not exist. And Stan himself had no one to blame, he had to play the part in his own demise- He is the only one who ever knew Stanley was alive and has been for decades.

He lives in the multitudes of every personality he's ever taken, all in the hope that he himself can stop being Stanley Pines.

#gravity falls #grunkle stan #stanley pines #STANLEYYYYYY #STANLEY THEY COULD NEVER MAKE ME HATE YOU STANLEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#sharky rants #Just. Imagine the fucking shame you have to live with #the shame that you can never be yourself. That anything you were is unwanted and forgotten #The shame of just BEING- Of taking space of- of /breathing-/#Imagine the world; your friend; your family; your colleagues being so ashamed of having known you #that you feel more comfortable with a persona to present.#You feel more comfortable stealing the identity of someone you care for deeply if only to help #If only to feel capable for once. To feel like you belong- Like youre doing something good for once #Imagine the shame that brings you to be comfortable not being yourself for 40 years.#ALL CASE YOU BROKE ONE FUCKING PROJECT??????? COME ON #I mean- the deeprooted shame was started from earlier. He was 'the stupid twin“; 'the troublemaker”; “the cheat and thief”#This was a long time coming #But those werent MISTAKES- The one time he genuinely made a Mistake he lost everything #Like he really mattered so little to the people around him #and he cant really blame them.#My cousin is a genius. Hes smart and academically achieved since I was a baby.#The only thing I had that he didnt was my ability to draw. to be creative. The guy for the longest time had a better social life then me too #I used to get brought to tears seeing his accomplishments- seeing people praise him. The shame lived in me any time I had to see him #The shame that I was the black sheep of the family next to the golden standard for a son- for a student- for a friend.#when I was none of those things #And Im lucky he was my cousin- cause if he was my brother that would have haunted me EVERY DAY rather then once or twice a year #Im better with it now; Im more content with who I am- But trauma dump aside-#I very very very much understand Stans shame in being the stupid one. The unachieved one in a family full of achieved people #the shame thats angry at him for being better. at the family for treating him special. and most of all at yourself that you cant be better #its a visceral feeling that I sadly understand

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breeberrypies · 13 days ago

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THEY TOOK VOLTRON OFF NETFLIX.

#i binged the whole show in 3 days and sobbed when i finished it #the ending is sad as it is wdym i wont be able to watch it ever without pirating it #you guys are gonna listen to me talk about this show whether you like it or not #jk you can skip all this im just reminiscing #im an og voltron fan and started watching it in 2016 and it consumed my life until 2019 #i remember watching season 8 for the first time and it was an experience #me & my friend had a sleepover and bought snacks and ordered pizza and watched season 8 and both cried at the end #rewatching season 8 i tried seeing it from another perspective bc i didnt like it much but after the 1st ep i remembered how awful it was #fav honorable moments tho:#the part when they go to the ship graveyard and the galra beast attacks the warlord and keith. SEASON 5 FINALE MENTIONED #pidge’s connection to the olkari.#WHEN THEY GO TO THE VOLCANO PLANET HELLO NO ARMOR #the vlog episode is so silly + clear day #keith’s beautiful smile in that one scene in the astral plane i will NEVER forget.#the original paladins i sobbed #THE ENDING WHEN ALLURA SORTA DIES HELL NAH HHELLNAH HELL NAH #the ending overall when the lions leave IM IN TATTERS #i would definitely accept lance and allura being together if there was more chemistry and not out of nowhere #also if allura actually showed she loved lance when they got together and if they didnt make lance’s love for her his whole personality #lance and keith getting closer and possibly getting together post s8 >> but thats just my klance showing #i need lance’s mom and krolia plotting to get them together and then realizing axca and veronica got a thing #voltron #voltron fanart #voltron legendary defender #keith kogane #hunk garrett #lance mcclain #pidge holt #breeart #dec. 24

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muzsmocsing · 1 month ago

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Xie Lian can roast him to the moon and back about his unforgivable crime of not being pop idol level blindingly handsome but there is not a mf in this series as classy, mature, and level-headed as Yin Yu.

#in all of tgcf he is the only one who actually acts like a grown adult with a job #jun wu is on some boomer shit xie lian has just been on depressing shenanigans since he was like 20 #but yin yu? he is CLOCKED in #also don't even get me started on the mirror scene??????#“i hate my life and i hate the one who made it this way but that doesn't give me the right to take a fate that was never mine to begin with #chin up king your crown is falling #heaven official's blessing #tian guan ci fu #tgcf #tgcf spoilers #yin yu #xie lian #i am xie lian's nr 2 believer but this needs to be said

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thrill-kill-kult · 1 year ago

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#I hope a lot of people see this #poll #music #metal #Im genuinely just so curious about how people build their music taste #I’d say I most often find an artist on a Spotify generated playlist or in my recommendations #and I’ll listen to their top songs then start going through their albums #but I do love using gnoosic and obscurify #I also love finding small playlists #esp ones made by musicians #huge fan of the aggrotech attack playlist #I like pride myself on having extremely obscure taste in music lol #I love showing people cool small bands they’ve never heard of before #on that note check out My Life With The Thrill Kill Kult #and Xorcist

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laddertek · 2 months ago

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etho said actually you _don't_ understand the intricacies of how tango is my boyfriend and bdubs is my ex

(and how tango and bdubs kiss too)

Scar: We went on that little adventure, you know! Etho: Yeah, yeah, we had our adventure, that's true, that's true. Scar: You disparaged your teammates. That's it, all right, no more spoilers. Etho: (laughs) Our team has -- our team has some weird dynamics this -- this season. Cleo: (overlapping) Really, Etho? Is there trouble in paradise? (pause) Who's third-wheeling with you, again? I can't remember. Etho: (laughs) Uhh. The -- Cleo: Genuinely can't remember. I know it's you and Bdubs. And...Tango? Tango. Tango. Etho: (loudly) Why -- Why is Tango the third wheel? Why -- why isn't Bdubs the third wheel? Cleo: Because it's you and Bdubs. I'm sorry. I understand how that relationship goes. Etho: (dissatisfied) Hmm.