#i need to go live on a mountain
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#all i do on tunglr is little vent posts lately#anyways im tired of being so uncomfortable and unhappy all the time#if i'm lucky i can distract myself for a little while but i always come back to it#i really really miss my adhd meds!#i just feel like a stupid dumb idiot because i can't do anything!!!!#:O mfw my disability disables me#but it really is soooo fucked#everywhere i look i see things that used to bring me so much joy but they're also big missed opportunities!#because everything just falls apart in my hands#i can't Lock In to anything#my life just never starts?#i need my independence i need to live on my own#but as a real life zombie i could not possibly hold down a job that would afford me that rn#i dont want to waste any more time but i do need a chill 3 week coma#i need to be put in a sensory deprivation tank for 4 days#i need another media detox probably but i'd still be equally unable to get anything done#i need to go live on a mountain
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they (farm games) don't do women like this anymore
#witch princess ds you were the greatest to ever do it#farming games need to go back to doing stupid stuff for the marriage candidates.#actually ds did sooooo much funny stuff for the special girls. heres a princess locked deep n the mines yes you're going to have to go all-#--the way through the mines every time u want to see her.#normal stuff! i miss that.#story of seasons#harvest moon#i also think its very funny when they dont even live w you 👍 i think people used to hate this but like. harvest king was so funny for--#making you trek up to the top of the mountain to see him when you were married. love that tbh
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Summer collection no. #7
The Vortex - mixed with the nightmare part of the fiction called Nightmares Run Wild (yet again) and the storm videos I've been watching and relating to lately (there's no tornado in the fic).
I did this one in like 2-3 hours, so there's no early access for it. Go listen to Nathan Wagner.
#me listening to a singer named Nathan while drawing Pickles? No waay#I totally forgot he has asthma hooooly shit#I was thinking about if Pickles ever got to live through one in the midwest and how would I paint it. so here we go#toki reference foreshadowing#I honestly don't know why I'm making so many arts to this one fic but it seems to keep me going#I feel like I'm looking at a scene at this point.... the wide screen version is called the Tristate#I am equally terrified of tornadoes as I am in awe of them. maybe just a bit more on the fear side. I'm in the mountains#so I've never seen one in person#it's so freaking hot here so I needed to draw something windy#mtl#metalocalypse#pickles the drummer#dethklok#mtl fanart#metalocalypse fanart#dethklok fanart
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i wanna move outta new york lowkey fuck this place its so expensive and callous
#op barks#where can a broke disabled trans bitch go tho like. lord#being a party girl has NOT fixed anything! i think i need to try living on a mountain so genuinely
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aaargghhhhhhh..... *takes mental damage from being excluded from the Men rituals*
#LET ME INNNNNN#the handshakess........#i need to go live on a mountain in a cave and emerge a man.........
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actualy dutch running away at 15 haunts me a little bit because when you think of him young you tend to think of him in his 20s instead of a 15 year old whos thrown himself into the world with no plan. where would he sleep?? i doubt he knew how to make his own tent. what woukd he eat how would he bathe?? did he sneak into inns or hide little caves. little dig outs inn the ground. arthur notes that dutch isnt a man to hide in a cave. but hes just 15. hes a child. hes probably never took another mans life. he doesnt know how to hunt. maybe hes just as charismatic. charming the hearts of cowboys and working women into giving him a place to stay. sharing their meal with him. was he all alone?? did he cling to what companionship he could?? like. what did he even do with himself. hes just 15. it was probably the smallest hed ever felt
#punching concrete. yes. arthur and john get oprhaned at even younger ages and have to fight for their lives. but there has been plenty of#discussion abt this. i wanna talk about my son#and no this isnt a “oooo poor baby hes never done anything wrong ever”#this is me thinking about a dutch who was nowhere near the man he is because hes fucking 15#hes 15#and hes stupid and got mad at his mother and threw himself into the world to chase a dream#hes a teenager. and he knows nothing#and i think that dutch always had that cruelty#that manipulative nature#its built in#but i think here#in this small sliver of freedom. he is guileless#and he is small#and the mountains are towering and the fields go on for miles#anyways#yeagh#young dutch van der linde i need to take him away forever. im going to raise him right
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I just think, the idea that Disha is lying about Kyoshi's honor and stuff to put some kind of wedge between Roku and Kyoshi would be really cool and spy-y and would fit really well with the weird Cold War-eque/espionage that Roku's era seems to want to emulate. It'd be a cool way of making him doubt himself without realizing he's doubting himself.
And it'd also force a parallel between Roku/Kyoshi and Kyoshi/Kuruk. How, while Kuruk appeared in RoK and Kyoshi didn't have the best opinion of him, really ramped up in her sequel novel to the point she wanted to fucking brawl him. The way it's set up now, Roku's timidness and confusion with Kyoshi could easily fester into the same hatred and want to confront her in Roku's sequel novel too.
And I'm also just grasping at straws but I just really fucking hate how RR is trying to drag Kyoshi through the gd mud. And like it just doesn't work with the knowledge we already know about her and he could've done something (anything really, he didn't utilize her at all) else with her character in Rokus era that would've better explored... and I'm also a bit of a bitter bitch about it. tbh
#no I just think the way the picture is framed is how i feel#less I want to use the meme as intended and more 'i'm vibbing with the FEEL of the picture despite what the meme is suppose to mean TT0TT#'silly are you saying you are saying something controversial yet brave#reckoning of roku#disha#kyoshi#rise of kyoshi#shadow of kyoshi#roku salt#chronicles of the avatar#i think roku's era is emulating a cold war of sorts....I don't really care tbh TT0TT#i think most of that info is in the RPG table top game and....I'm not verse in that tbh#i only have crumbs to work with#but i'm going to make the spiciest meal out of those crumbs#a mountain out of a mole hill energy if you will#i do not trust RR to do something this intricate#his writing did NOT inspire confidence in me TT0TT#i have like 18 topics about this damn thing it lives rent free in my head and I NEED IT TO START PAYING
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#bleh. i need half the country to pls stop being on fire. id like to go out and run pls. but its so smokey i can barely see the mountain#i live near :-/ also im just tired and frustrated. its incredible how quickly i vasilate between#things r going well. i should stay in my program and work with cyanos forever. to no no no im not cut out for this. i gotta leave. to yay#let me throw myself head first into consuming every second of my life with working. but only on the things that dont require me to think#which is y im not cut out for this and should be bannished to a world of only doing lab work and following instructions#also i have an screening interview monday for an R0DBT group. so i might b going to control freak classes#assuming i cant convince the lady that im not fit for thr class. which obviously i am bc im my therapist listed the ppl who r#usually put into r0dbt and i was like hm im a lot of those things. but also its 2hrs every week and thats a lot of time. and i feel like im#already on the path away from violently structuring my life specifically bc ive done so much damage#ugh. also i have ridiculously high self standards but i only do anything halfway bc i cant fail if i never try 100%.#so im like a fake control freak. or rather i cant even fully commit to being controlling. im lazy and i dont have the drive.#which almost makes it worse bc im stading at this threshold of control where it destroys me but never actually succeeds in being a perfect#thing. which is def a distorted way to think about it but there u go. ugh. im just tired and my arm hurts too much to draw bc#im older and older everyday. and i dont wanna read papers. i dont wanna grade or work on my presentation. i didn't want to spend 3.5 hrs#doing transfers this morning. and my mom's been dead for 6months and 3 days now. and i still dont kno where ill be a year from now#unrelated
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slowly implementing my scheme to convince 🌸 to get a cat through the simple tactics of "exposing them to my mom's cat, the most friendly and charming animal known to human records" and "insisting it is impractical and even impossible for us to have a cat, even to myself and you guys, despite occasionally bringing it up wistfully"
#these are definitely going to combine the way i want them to. i'm definitely not correct that we shouldn't get a cat while we both routinely#work 10-hour days and don't have central air and at least the former condition definitely won't keep being true indefinitely#that would be crazy#box opener#it's not that i need to reverse-psychology us into a cat per se it's that it's really embarrassing to be the only one who wants an#impractical thing that would affect both our lifestyles. and i would simply prefer not to want it. or at least for them to really wish#that we had a yard or lived near mountains or something. bc we couldnt do that either but then wed be on even footing.
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mother mothering on mother’s day 💐💖
#SHE™#I was too busy phasing into another dimension to get much footage#but what I do have!! needed to be giffed IMMEDIATELY asap rn#potato quality bc my phone is ancient as hell#ethel cain#she's singing a house in nebraska and sun bleached flies here#<-and yes I'm dead in the ground still tysm for asking#I'm bein eaten by worms and growin roots thru my stomach cavity AS WE SPEAK!!!!! girl!!!!!!#shoutout 2 the beautiful person in the faux fur coat w/the acrylics. I'm obsessed w/u bestie go off dhsjhfsdjhjfds#this show was everything 2 me.....................I need 2 see this angel live again v v soon#<333#don't worry y'all we'll be back to the regularly scheduled programming of mountain dew sweat n debauchery very soon. but.........MOM
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dehradun days
you meet them for the first time,
knowing it's probably the last.
might as well make the most of this time,
since life comes at you fast.
you find the strangest of signals
in the no-network zones.
cross-tent communication with folks,
just rambling about the unknown.
there's the warmth of shared laughter,
that carries you through freezing nights,
and you look up at the flickering stars,
to finally see things in a different light.
and at 11,000 ft above sea level
you finally reach the peak,
just to realise the joy was in the journey,
and the friends you made that week.
you'll visit caves & splendid cafes,
and remember the city in mere parts,
but years later, you'll still tell everyone,
how dehradun captured your heart.
#inertia-writes#poets on tumblr#desi poetry#dehradun poetry#poems on india#poems on life#desiblr#being desi#dehradun#i went on a trek w the lowest of expectations and it was one of the best experiences of my life#it's so refreshing to meet people from different cities and of different ages and backgrounds#jan and feb were pretty meh but things have been looking upwards from march (thank you god - i acknowledge your existence)#thought of writing a happy poem for a change of tone (and also maybe because i am genuinely happy :) )#this isn't one of my best poems i feel - it's a bit unrefined - but who cares it is one of my happy ones sooooo#there are times when absolutely nothing significant happens and there are days when years happen#i didn't go in the mountains for solitude - i felt that here already haha. i went for a change.#but i gained so many memories w people and so many positive perspectives that i needed in general. also nayata premier league <3#i think i believe in destiny now. i was destined to meet those people and have a good time and come back to reality w a spring in my step#and maybe the mountains were calling. can't stay away from snow too long - i was born during snowy days anyway#came back home and am still in some weird positive trance - good for me#also my lucky streak is still going on - kaavish released a new song#historic moment in time (thank you god 2x)#poems on friendship#found family#poems on found family#all the may '23 - feb '24 melancholy has been washed out of my system. i am now set for the next tragedy of my life lol#dekhte hai kab tak khush rehti hu mein - kuch bhayankar honewala hai aisa lag raha hai#i do not remember the last time i was happy for a month straight - am i living in a virtual simulation?#whoever is controlling my life rn - i would like to continue to stay in this simulation - thanks v much
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#not going by distance i think time is a better representation of vibe#im juuuust under an hour and i see people wi lobster traps in their yard and buoys on their barn and i'm like hm..really? lol#its nice to see but i think its a stretch#we're between the mountain area and the beach area in my mind but lean more towards mountains#i wish the beach was closer but thats my literal only regret abt where we live lol#if i was a better more confident driver i might not mond at all tbh#anyway#when i lived 4 hours away people acted like it was a beachy area but....it was not#if you need to stay in a hotel to visit it doesnt count to me#like its not kansas but come on....#just bc your state has a beqch does not make every area in that state coastal#coastal decor is corny unless you're close to the beach#nobody cares about this issue but i need to know the consensus#maybe im just biased bc i grew up in a more coastal area than i live now but maybe my area still counts#i would like to think so but im not convinced#i think 30-45 min has to be the limit#but maybe my experiences are not universal here#this has been a shitpost
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Got hit on by a creepy guy twice my age while trying to work today. Why are men like this???
#Feel like I need a shower#Im going to join a monastery or live on the side of a mountain just so I don't have to talk to men anymore#I'm just trying to work leave me alone
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In the Samadhi Fire ritual flashbacks and the brief vision of Macaque and Monkey King's final fight, SWK lacks the circlet. Do you think this is an intentional plot element, memory being fallible, or a straight-up animation error?
The 3x04 flashback of SWK and Macaque's fight lacking a circlet could easily be fallible memory or bias, but either way it's definitely intentional. The 3x10 Samadhi Fire flashback on the other hand is an unbiased account of what sealing the fire had looked like, so without a doubt we can trust everything we see there!
Honestly, at this point I wouldn't be surprised if there were in fact 2 SWK V Macaque fights: one during jttw where Tang Sanzang encouraged Wukong to spare Macaque (Like the great monk had done with LBD—that or Wukong is just straight up unwilling to finish Macaque off), and another fight post-jttw where it's Wukong alone without the influence of the pilgrims. But that's just me throwing stuff out there.
#but then you gotta think about where Wukong is in his character development#When it comes down to it why was he willing to kill Macaque in any scenario#Like Macaque buddy what were you doing#Like lmk Wukong even sealed DBK away#So for Macaque to be removed from the mortal plane...like what is going on with that#Hmmm but I guess DBK was sent to the underworld too. ''Flesh. Bone—I return to the realm of the living!''#Girl I actually have no idea what is happening in this show#''Every choice has consequences—for someone'' hello Macaque seriously what were you doing#Come on man we seriously do need answers#''The old you would have leveled this whole mountain range to stop me!''#So. What version of Wukong. During jttw? Post jttw? Is the time post sealing DBK something that changed him? Or was it the journey?#lmk#lego monkie kid#asks#lmk SWK#lmk Macaque#lmk theory
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#it always upsets me when people belittle or mock children for not being rational when they're experiencing emotion#for so many reasons but mostly because. we all feel the same#whether we are 7 or 20 or 56 or wherever we may be#i still feel small out of nowhere for things i didn't realize i was feeling until a certain point#sometimes it's for the same reasons and sometimes it's not#but i had a moment like “i had a nice day? i feel like i've been going and going along just fine”#but i live under subtle pressure constantly and forget it's there sometimes. but usually i like to pretend like it isn't there#i have been confined to boxes my whole life in so many different ways and i'm aching to break from them#i'm being patient and understanding but. christ shdkghgk#i need to disappear for a while#float in a lake. hide in the mountains. lay in a field. idk idk#liminal cravings#sap says
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Guess Who's Moving!!
It's me, I'm moving multiple states away with my cat in like 1 month! (That's still so crazy to me!)
I'm very excited none the less for the future! There will probably be more sketchy posts in the future before then. Whatever I can manage to squeeze in! Thank you guys for staying with me through this crazy time and thank you for (almost) 60 followers! :]
#I am very exhausted but I am doing my best to make all of this work!!#But the plus side is that i get to move in with our partner and their wonderful family until we both have a place of our own#but still#whole new state like 5 states away or something so big move!#having to drive through the mountains and shit again.... that part i am not excited for!!#not to MENTION the family shit going on#just when i thought my family couldnt be crazier i learn 3 new things back to back and im on the floor from the impact of shock#its still SUCH a crazy move to me but its definitely needed#not only to get the chapter of my life with our partner going#but to leave my hometown where just absolutely ALL my family is#mostly the side that actively stalks me and wont leave me alone so i can live a little more freely without being stressed#Its kind of an unexpected move but hey. Things happen for a reason sometimes!! and im excited#nervous of course but more excited more than absolutely everything#dolly's art#dolly doe#our art#artists on tumblr#artists of tumblr#dolly's rambles#original art
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