#i’m not just a clown for him i’m the whole circus

[wildsaltair]

you can’t show me this picture at 10:39 in the morning and expect me to act normal in any way, shape, or form

[unluckedtj]

i be been rocking back and forth while reading part 6-8 this is the COOLEST WAY TO BRING BACK NAI. ??!?!?! THE BRANCHES ? THIS WORKS WITH VASH’S ROOTS oh my god it’s so over. it’s gonna plague my head again what oh my go I FEEL LIKE A WINNER

Beware of major Trigun spoilers!

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Read from right to left

Trigger warning for violence, blood, gore and body horror! Hooray!

If you want a little background music, try listening to "Everybody knows that you're insane" by QOTSA. I was listening to this when I worked out the chapter in my head and it fits Nai SO well, especially the lyrics! Yeah so, both boys are back from being human to part human/part plant now...I hope you like how this played out, even though it got a lot bloodier than the first parts. Please imagine me continuously knocking Nai on the head with a squeaky toy hammer. This is what I'm doing here in blorbo speach. Also, let me know what you think! I'd love to hear your thoughts and any feedback is welcome, as always! <3

[nutsackx]

POKÉMON X THE OUTSIDERS AU

info under images lol

if anyone reposts these like the cowboy or scientist au I’m deleting my whole account watch your bakc

I’m gonna preface this by saying I haven’t played or even really indulged in Pokémon for like… 7 years so forgive me if any of this is off or doesn’t make sense…

ANYWAY!!

Original gang is just the Curtis brothers. Ponyboy, after years of putting it off to put time into school, decides he’s finally ready to try being a Pokémon trainer (he’s a bit of a late bloomer, starting at 14 instead of ten…yikes). Usually, their father would’ve helped him on his journey….but he’s, dead, so. 

Darry agrees to help him, eventually Soda gets dragged along too because he’s worried Pony and Darry fighting 24/7 will ruin the experience for Ponyboy. And, Soda, being a Pokémon ranger, has a lot more knowledge than even Darry about how to safely go about this. 

First they come across Steve. Soda and him are already besties, of course. And they have kinda a rivalry going on where they are constantly tryin to one-up each other (all in good faith lmao). It’s not until Steve starts talking about how he started with Pokémon that Darry realizes just how different it was than when he was starting out. Steve agrees to come along, mainly saying he thinks Pony’s gonna get himself killed cus’ he SUCKS!!

After all the yada yada and defeating his first gym leader, Pony finds a dead Radicate and REFUSES to move on until they give the poor creature a proper burial. Since they’re already relatively close, Darry redirects the group to Lavender Town. 

While inside Pokémon tower, they come across a decrepit, old, decaying black-belt class trainer (Mr.Miyagi ((yeah I put him in here, what are you gonna do about it?)),sorry for all the mean adjectives) who of course starts being an old man and going on and on about the boy he fosters there and how weird he’s acting lately (Darry refuses to interrupt because he RESPECTS HIS ELDERS!!!). 

Mr.Miyagi admits that not being around people his age has probably messed with his development, practically calling the boy a hermit, and asks the guys to bring him along in exchange for a very strong Gengar (for Pony, ofc). Darry, upon hearing that the boy is a strong fighter and MUCH quieter then the rest of the freaks he’s dealing with, agrees. 

They go from floor to floor looking for him, eventually finding a cloaked figure on some fuckass floor idk. It takes a minute but they’re like, damn, this hoe possessed! And they battle him, he’s hard to beat but they do it eventually, yada yada. Johnny then takes the hood off, apologizes profusely, and explains that he’s a channeler but not really good at his job yet. (also imagine him with the most fuckass stutter, like Shaky from rdr)

The guys inform him about their promise to Mr.Miyagi, Johnny’s upset for t-minus two minutes before he’s just like “whatever okay” and joins them. (Quickly becomes the favorite, ofc, because he can actually shut his damn mouth). 

They move on to the next gym, yk how it goes…but yeah they come across a traveling circus. And you’ll NEVER GUESS WHO IS A CLOWN!! 

So anyway, Clown-bit, we love him. They come across him, agree to fight so he’ll give them some food and pokeballs, and Pony beats his ASS. 

They don’t really invite Two-Bit along (they think he’s annoying…who doesn’t?) but he just joins anyway. Imagine like constant clown puns. Also he and Johnny quickly take a liking to each other cus’ they’re both kinda outcasts of the group (Johnny’s known the guys for like, a week…and Two-bit Just showed up. Also, we need more Johnny and Two-Bit friend content so).

They keep going, Pony defeats a few more gym leaders, and takes notice that a lot of them seem to recognize someone on their team. When he askes, Johnny admits to being the son of one of the elite four. At first, Pony is thrilled by the info, until he pries a little more and realizes Johnny’s father was an abusive asshole and pretty much sent him away to Pokémon tower to force him into becoming a trainer. Yikes. 

Anyway, on their journey they come across some UGLY blonde guy, like one of those biker trainer classes yk..? Anyway yeah it’s Dallas, shocker. He kinda just gets in their way and refuses to move until they ALL battle him. Obviously, they don’t wanna do that, a lot of work for some ugly freak (did I mention he’s ugly?). 

They agree to let Ponyboy fight him, but he uh…loses. After a bit of back and forth Dallas agrees to let them go if they help him get to the Indigo Plateau in Kanto, so he can face off against the Elite Four there (his bike is old, cus yk…he’s poor.) 

Darry at this point has an entire league of teenagers following him around, so he’s like what’s one more? And boom they move on. 

I don’t have much planned out from here (this was all pulled from my ass anyway). Maybe the Shepards can be like…the Team Rocket of this AU?? And Soc’s are the gym leaders. 

Also, Yeah Cherry and Marcia are both Kanto elite four cus I SAID SO!!! And uh…Johnny and Cherry are dating because it’s MY AU AND I DO WHAT I WANT!!!! She’s the breadwinner and that’s okay, we love her for it <3

twobit prolly falls in love with Marcia when he sees her but idk if she’d reciprocate with an actual clown. Mayeb Randy lowered her standards???

anyway. That is all. Might flesh this out more if the obsession grows, or it’ll die in a week like the Crazy Scientist stuff. Oh well!

EXPLANATION OF DESIGNS/MORE INFO—

Ponyboy

CLASS: Youngster 

Ngl his design took very little time…..oops

his cap hides a really bad dye job, and he refuses to take it off

He chose squirtle as his starter, idrk why but squirtle just suits him. Maybe cus he almost drowned!!

Would’ve fought to the DEATH if he didn’t get squirtle. This boy knows what he wants 

He has a little pokeball necklace that his mom got him as a joke, will kill someone for it 

He deffo has a really nerdy messenger bag that he keeps all of his stuff in

He’s scared of his own Beedrill 

He does NOT need those glasses. But he likes them becuase he thinks they make him look more professional (everyone can tell they’re blue light glasses)

Sodapop

CLASS: Pokémon Ranger

LOVES his job and therefore is almost always seen in uniform

he loves electric/steel type Pokémon cus they reminds him of cars, so his hair is usually sticking up because of static electricity 

has a whistle, but Darrel stole it and tossed it into the forest VERY early into the journey 

yellow is his favorite color cus I said so

Raichu is his PRIZED Pokémon 

He’s kinda like Snow White the Pokémon love him 

His Flareon and Johnny’s Espeon are best friends 

Darrel

CLASS: Veteran 

Wanted to be a football player, but couldn’t because that wouldn’t keep the family afloat, that’s why his outfit has the numbers on it. 

Lot of scars, some from football and some from his days as a trainer 

His outfit used to have sleeves, but he found them annoying and just shopped them off one day 

Always keeps the spare pokeballs on him 

In highschool he had his hair grown out, but chopped it after their folks died because his father was always trying to get him to cut it 

I don’t really have a backstory for his necklace, buts it fire okay

Treats his Pokémon VERY well, if there was a trainer rating website he would be top 5

Picks his Pokémon based on size and strength

Two-Bit

CLASS: CLOWN

Obviously he’s a clown so, that explains the outfit 

NEVER seen without the makeup, even when it rains or he’s sleeping…that stuff is ON THERE

He has false lashes on his waterline, and yes they’re pink 

He is incapable of being quiet because of all the bells 

The hat doesn’t come off. if it did his hair under there would be hella matted 

All of Two’s Pokémon are just as annoying as he is, he hides earplugs in his shoes for people (they never take them) 

FATASS can and will eat anything in sight

Mr.Mime is his favorite of all his Pokémon….they ate both annoying together and everyone hates them for it 

Johnny

CLASS: Channeler 

the scar on his eye is from his father 😬 from when he figured out Miyagi wasn’t actually training him to be the next member of the Elite Four…. the eye is blue because of some psychic shit idk 

His outfit is from Miyagi entirely, the sleeves used to be connected, but he found it too annoying to fight in those so he tore them (Miyagi was secretly VERY unsettled) 

If you look really closely he has purple eyeliner

Johnny refuses to cut his hair, so it’s usually in a braid to be out of his way, he lets it down sometimes 

He has the little flower charm connected to his belt…what a cutie 

His hood is actually up a LOT, most of the time his face is obscured 

There’s flames on his sleeve….wonder why (not the reason you think okay. His father was a fire type trainer…JOHNNY LIVES IN THIS AU OKAY.)

also the metal things around his arm are like…incredibly heavy. Mr.Miyagi put them in originally so he could build muscle while doing everyday things, but Johnny insists on keeping the on forever. 

Loves all of his Pokémon equally, and they love him back. Always has atleast one out of their Pokeball so he doesn’t get lonely….my baby 

He doesn’t even like the color purple that much it’s just kinda his thing now 

Pokémon FLOCK to this man 

Dallas

CLASS: Biker

Tore the sleeves off of his jacket as well…they really like doing that 

YELLOW teeth and GREASY hair he does not take care of himself

Really likes dog-looking Pokémon 

Has an empty slot because one of his Pokémon just DIED LMAO (idk which one. Oh well) 

Has rips in his jeans, does not plan on fixing it 

Hand-carved his belt buckle. The ‘win’ in Winston is underlined. Ignore the fact that this idiot keeps fucking losing 

The bandages are protecting nothing. He thinks it makes him look cool

Pokémon are revolted by him. Like, his own literally hate him. 

Steve

Class: Hooligan

kind of an ass, but he looks cool

any cutscene of him he’s making sure his hair is still spiked trust

loves steel type Pokémon because…cars

his favorite color is green, making any green Pokémon his all time favorite

for being a little shit, he treats his Pokémon rather well

has studs ALL over his back, once leaned back on Soda and has never heard the end of the pain he caused

he has a tongue piercing….so….

when the gang is lacking resources, he and Dallas are the first to steal

[dynamightsfave]

bakugo katsuki—interviews

bakugo katsuki fucking hates interviews. in every shape and form. public conferences? "i did my fucking job. the building crashed down because the base sucked ass. that's not my fucking fault" one on one interviews? "why the fuck do they have so many damn questions about my methods? let them try and do what i do!" talk shows? "if you're not gonna ask me about my job, i don't know what the hell i’m doing here, my personal life is my goddamn business. also, if i wanted comedy i’d go to the fucking circus, at least the clowns wear their actual uniform instead of shitty suits"

safe to say, dynamight is every interviewer's nightmare. he's a wonderful and attentive person off camera (he’s still an asshole, but a nicer one), but when you start asking him questions and place a camera on his face, the brass defensiveness, one of the things that lingers from his stubborn teenage years, shines through. that and that mouth that curses more than a sailor in their golden years ever has. there's offers to take him of course, being in the top ten heroes ranking of not only japan, but the whole world. he's mostly partnered up in these interviews, so there's someone to lead the talking and answer for him when he doesn't want to give into "the stupidest fucking question he's had the misfortune to hear". 

red riot and shoto are the ones that are usually designated as his babysitters, but other old classmates have appeared onscreen with him as well. even deku, now a teacher, has made special features. but there's never much demand for an individual interview with pro hero dynamight, and if there ever is, bakugo usually rejects them without looking much into it.

which is why, his secretary was very confused when the mention of a last attempt at a talk show made his boss perk up rather than frown instantly. his lip didn’t instantly curl with a groan and his red irises didn’t meet the back of his skull. instead, he curiously eyed the schedule placed in front of him, and gave a curt nod in thanks when he was done. ryu developed a sense of uneasiness that took over his system. surely that was a sign of the end of the world. but he couldn’t really say anything, pinky and chargebolt recommended the interviewer and swore it would go well. maybe they were right? they needed it too, dynamight hadn't appeared on many public events lately. so there's that, now he just had to pray bakugo didn’t fuck it up.

and that brings us to right now, with dynamight taking a seat in front of you and the public’s applause dimming. the tension that fills the air lingers in the audience, and for once, bakugo and his interviewer seem to be completely at ease. ryu can’t help to think to himself that this is yet another sign that the world is about to end, and he wonders if he should call up his family to say a final goodbye. for now, maybe it’s better he focuses on what’s in front of him.

"great explosion murder god dynamight!" you smile at him, as if he was a friend you’re glad to see again, "so glad you could make it!"

you have that magnetism that makes every guest comfortable around you, familiarity being the base of your show. it’s a big part of why it became so popular, the charming host that interacts with their audience and speaks their mind in such an easy way.

katsuki smirks, chest a bit puffed and fingers drumming the armrest.

"sort of didn’t have a goddamn choice, did i?" while his response only makes the people watching tense more, you only chuckle, nodding as if you understood like nobody else.

"we’re our managers’ puppets aren’t we? either way, wonderful to have you," and goddammit, you never sound insincere, "these days it’s hard to have a minute of great explosion murder god dynamight"

"you know what they say, villains don’t rest. and if they don’t rest that just means us heroes have to work twice as hard as them" did he just answer without cursing? oh the world definitely ends today.

bakugo maintains eye contact with you while he lounges on his seat like he owns the place. he’s made hundreds of interviewers and others shrink with that attitude of his, but from the looks of it, you’re not only not one bit bothered by it, but you almost encourage it. your arms flex as you lean in towards him, agreeing with him.

"all right, since i don’t want to waste much of that precious time of yours..." eyes twinkling, you could even say teasing—dare i say flirty—, you tap a small melody onto your notebook with your pen, "let’s dive right in to the questions! promise this won’t be long. first off, i want to solve a doubt i’ve had for some time now"

he arches a brow, accepting the challenge. there’s the same amusement in his eyes that yours have, it sends chills across the room. it’s so weird to see the bakugo katsuki being not mean to someone that isn’t a little kid or a polite fan.

"i’ve said it a couple times now, and i have to admit it’s a bit of a mouthful. “great explosion murder god dynamight”. why that name? how on earth did you come up with it?"

it’s funny. you say it as if it isn’t a mouthful. quite the opposite, it rolls off your tongue like quick, flowing as if it’s escaped a million times, a prayer you know by heart. bakugo rolls his eyes, similar comments follow him practically every day everywhere he goes since he made the name up. he’s built up skin to them, not that they ever bothered him, he’s pretty proud of his hero name. some might say too proud.

"it’s a reflection of everything i am," he winces after a second, "maybe not the murder part."

"i do hear die is one of your favorite words tho"

"yeah well, it’s good to let the emotions out or whatever the hell. i try not to say it as much anymore, people say it’s rude or some shit," his hand makes a fast motion, as if to sweat it off, he really doesn’t give a damn, "anyway, the name’s like that because it had to embody how fucking awesome i am"

"ah, that makes sense," you nod along, not bothered by the curses, "a loud and bright name like your explosions. it does suit you"

at the compliment, the smirk returns to his lips, a small huff with it. he shuffles around to sit higher, now getting an idea of how this interview is going to go. katsuki finds that he doesn’t really mind it, at least the questions are off to a good start. and the host... well let’s just say he likes this one.

"i know, i picked it myself," he states, and you can’t help but laugh at how sure of himself he is. reminds you of a 6-year-old, not a single ounce of doubt in his body about how cool they are.

"would you say it was inspired by something else? maybe a hero you look up to?"

"nah, ‘t was all me," liar.

"i see. a unique name to say the least. but on the topic, is there any hero that you look up to? someone you aspire to be like. other than, i'm sure, best jeanist"

"obviously," he repeats, "but i mean; every kid and their goddamn mother has dreamt of becoming all might, he was n.1 longer than anyone. i’m sort of a basic bitch that way. when i was little i wanted to be like him, so i followed that dream until i made it real. and now i push myself to be as great as he was and more. plus ultra and all that bullshitr"

"wow. sounds like hard work," he grunts in agreement, and you purse your lips, "we all agree all might is a one of the greatest symbols we have, must have been incredible to be able to study under him. you mentioned the school’s motto. can you tell us about that? the ua days?"

katsuki smiles, his eyes drifting away to his hands. you can’t help but think he looks rather handsome, reminiscing his high school.

"in one word: it was fucking insane. he brought a lot of insight about what to expect in the actual field, and how to treat with bystanders—the little motherfuckers—, and he was always pushing us to do our best. he’s the sort of person you just know cares about what he’s doing," he explains, "our homeroom teacher, mr. aizawa was also very much like that, even though he didn’t look it. ua students are lucky when it comes to teachers. but they’re all ungrateful snotty brats"

it’s the first time bakugo katsuki has ever said something nice in public, even if it has some mean side dishes (wouldn’t be something bakugo katsuki said otherwise). at this point, it’s just you two in the room. no lights, no cameras, no audience, not even the questions you’ve jotted down in your notebook. only a conversation between two people. katsuki wonders if it’s a you effect, and he figures it must be, because he’s never as comfortable as he is talking to you. it comes so easy.

you smile, and it takes everything in you to not reach and put your hand on his arm at his words, the reminder of all the people watching in the room and through the cameras a dying reminder in the back of your mind. you like having him here, and you frankly don’t understand why other hosts dread his visits.

"sounds like a wonderful experience. i’ve talked to others from your course and they all speak of it with so much fondness, just like you. even with the hardships you had to endure," you clear your throat, voice dropping to barely a mutter. even the mic strapped to your blouse has trouble picking it up, "but i’m sure you don’t like thinking of them, i know i don’t. so, i know you’ve said all might and eraserhead are big inspirations, but do you have any other people you admire?"

you know you’re pushing your luck. your tone is far too friendly to be considered professional now and he’s not one to be heartfelt on camera. but if you could just get him to confirm what cellophane and shoto said last week... what you just know is the truth, but dynamight is a bit too proud to admit. you can see it in the way he looks away and puffs his cheeks to blow air.

"i mean, obviously, i’m incredibly grateful to best jeanist and edgeshot, they fucking saved my life," his cheeks grow the slightest bit of pink under your intense gaze. he almost chuckles as you nod entranced and edge just a tiny bit closer awaiting for the true answer. he guesses he might as well indulge, so, with a much lower tone, he continues, "and ya know, in class there were others that were pretty good too. not as incredible as i am, but close enough. if i had to pick any, maybe shitty hair and the dumbass deku. i guess"

screw the lights. your smile is blinding. it shines so much bakugo suddenly doesn’t feel like the answer was practically yanked from his throat. this is too much for his rearranged heart.

"that’s funny, they speak pretty highly of you too," you giggle. your eyes clash, and the small smile that forms on his face is instinct, he can’t control it. one, two, three.

"of course they fucking do. they better, else i’ll crush their bodies," he huffs, snapping back to his position before he was gobsmacked by you.

"all right, i’ve just got a couple more questions before we let you go," you get back on track too, despite the heat on the back of your neck, "uhm... oh yeah! well i guess you’ve answered this already, but just in case. you said red riot and deku were people you admired as heroes, i take it they are also the easiest to partner up with? i know pro hero deku is out of commission at the moment, but back when you still worked together"

dynamight actually thinks about this one. he furrows his brows, and his weight shifts on the sofa. he hums as his hand strokes his chin.

"well, it depends on the job. generally, i do like to partner up with them, we understand each other very well, as do everyone form our class. the time we spent training with each other pays off. so yeah, they’re easy to work with. but also, the half ‘n half bastard is quick to respond to what i do, and ponytail is a great strategist when it comes to infiltration or a mission that takes planning. the damn rabbit gets on my nerves a lot, but we make a good team. she should start thinking about retiring though, before she starts dragging me down"

"it’s lovely to hear the heroes of japan are so tight and coordinated. i must say, hearing you praise them is refreshing," your lip gets caught in your teeth in an attempt to stop the growing smirk, but your eyes betray you.

"oi, don’t misinterpret what i’m fucking sayin’. they’re all still pains in my ass, each worse than the last one"

"uh huh... okay, last question. if you weren’t a hero, what would you be?" that takes him aback.

"fuck you mean? i was always gonna be a damn hero. i don’t know. maybe one of those people that handle bombs in the army or some shit like that," he shrugs, but then a beat passes, "a firefighter"

"final answer?" you arch a brow. he grunts an affirmation, "o-kay! well, it’s been a pleasure to have you here, i hope we did not waste much of your time, but you’re free to go now. i appreciate that you didn’t shout"

he chuckles, following your steps as you get up and circle your table to get to him and say goodbye. the audience is clapping for you two, ryu is releasing the breath he’d been holding all throughout the interview, and the camera people are preparing to shut off. you reach him, and just like his smile before, his next actions are pure instinct. even more, they’re almost a routine.

his hand reaches for your waist, and he effortlessly pulls you closer, placing a gentle kiss on your forehead. now, in this routine, it’s not common that you tense up. usually, you wrap your arms around him and nuzzle into his chest. you look up to him, eyes wide, and it takes one millisecond for him to realize what he’s done. he curses under his breath, and you laugh.

"welp, there’s that. no more hiding this," the stunned public is so silent they hear your whispers, "see you at home?"

katsuki gives you that low laugh you love, squishes your waist, and nods.

"yeah, see you at home"

ryu dials his family to say his goodbyes as his boss steps off the stage and the audience recovers from the shock. he prays the call gets through before the world suddenly explodes.

luckily, the world doesn’t combust, and he lives to see the heart magazines with your image on their covers and headlines screaming about japan’s favorite talk show’s host and potty mouth’s newly discovered relationship.

[muniimyg]

4: the cold // series m.list

note: reblogging w fic taglist cos the limit is annoying n my posts keep glitching </3 sorry for the long wait! i literally finished c2u and was working on c2u's extras as well as attempting to keep my life together LOL . this jk is literally GETTING INTO IT YUHHH . hope everyone is enjoying the story ,, i'm so excited for the rest ! we're halfway thru :( if u missed aao jk ,, lmk ur fave moment of his as of now huhuhuuuu

taglist request: send a request with the title of this fic “aao” // DO NOT comment here or on the masterlist . it gets confusing and i prefer answering and tagging through asks !!!

🏷️ permanent taglist: @joonsjuice @taetaecatboy @pb-n-juju @miss-rainy-days @firesighgirl @whoa-jo @vantxx95 @pamzn @kakixaku @casspirit0705 @tae165 @defzcl @sopebubbles @leefics @ggukkieland @bebebutbetter @yoongimentita7 @boraength @era-genius @4ksj @vampcharxter @miss-jupiter @floweryjeons @taegijns @jeonqkooks-main @ellesalazar @jkslvsnella @parkinglot-nights @kissyfacekoo

//

Picture this. 

Jungkook sent you a text, claiming to be sick. He said:

jungkook (liar) 3:09PM: no fr i get so dizzy standing up lol

jungkook (liar) 3:09PM: deadass i’m wearing like 7 layers and i’m chilly af .. need the warmth of ur arms, baby 🙏🏼

jungkook (liar) 3:10PM: do u think u can come by w some medicine? i’d owe u like… my whole heart

jungkook (liar) 3:10PM: nvm gave that to u already 😘✋🏽

Your natural response to his concerning text messages was to call him. When you called to check up on him, you noted how he coughed at every perfect pause... How his voice was toned groggy with a hint of pathetic. 

Just as pathetic as his lie. 

Does he think you're dumb? Fine. Two can play this game.

The second Jungkook opens the door and is greeted by his friends, grinning goofily with alcohol in their hands—he feels the urge to shut the door at their face. “Ah, for fucks sake—”

“Not so fast!” Hobi squeals as he grabs your wrists and tugs you from the back of the crowd to the front. Offering you to Jungkook, Hobi winks, “I believe this belongs to you.”

Jungkook’s eyes soften at the sight of you.

Lowering his head, he purses his lips for a kiss. You blink at him, letting him stand there like a fool. A few of his friends chuckle at the rejection, but it doesn’t dishearten Jungkook. Instead, he lifts his head and carries on. 

Hey, the kiss was worth a shot. 

With a patient tone, he tries to talk this out. “I thought it was just going to be you coming over...”

Shrugging at him, you answer; “And I thought you were sick.” 

"Well, what can I say? I always feel better whenever you're around." Jungkook chides.

Unimpressed, you tsk at him. “Nice try, buddy.”

Your hunch was right.

Jungkook wasn't sick.

There was no eye bag in sight, no cough to be heard, and with the short amount of time it took him to answer the door; he doesn't seem dizzy at all. If anything, he looks freshly showered and prepared.

For a sick man, his 5PM fit was rather suggestive. He's wearing jeans, and a white wife beater with an off-white button-up unbuttoned. He must know he's hot, right? He wore this on purpose.

"A little dressed up for someone who should be pretending to be sick..." you poke his chest.

Jungkook grins, instantly shrugging his button-up off. "Oh, my bad. Here, I'll undress and—"

"Jungkook!" you gasp as you tug his button-up back on. "Your friends are here! Don't be so shameless—"

"Whose fault is that?" he laughs. "___, was I not clear when I asked for you? You. Not the circus.”

“Hey!” Nam Joon cries from the crowd. “Are you calling me a clown?”

Jungkook lifts his head and shakes it. Smiling at his hero, he assures Nam Joon; “Not you, hyung. I love you.”

Earning a few laughs, the moment ends when Jin interrupts and pushes past you. Jungkook places his arm in front of your body, gently moving you against the wall. He shoots Jin a glare but Jin doesn't seem to catch on. He makes one final comment before inviting himself into Jungkook's home; “Stop sucking Joon's dick and let us in!”

As his friends cheer and begin to invade his home, you stand still and laugh at them hustling in. As they make random remarks, Jungkook warns them not to touch certain things in his living room and that his bedroom is off-limits. Walking in, his friends can't help but feel out of place when they spot the homecooked meal Jungkook prepared for you two. The table is all set up. The projector is ready to go in the living room corner, accompanied by the ever so comfy set up of pillows and fuzzy blankets on the couch… The fuzzy blanket on the couch that Taehyung and Hobi have now wrapped themselves in.

Yeah..

Jungkook did not see this coming. He groans at the very sight. His plans were ruined.

Once Jimin gets his little ass inside, you take that as your cue to head in. You duck under Jungkook's arm and just as you think you’re about to get away—he stops you. He takes a step back and swoops his other arm around your waist.

“Not so fast.”

You huff. “Okay. I’ll walk in slow motion—”

“___…” Jungkook says in a warning tone. “Yah, I said I was sick and you show up here with my friends?”

You poke his chest. “I had a feeling you were up to no good. I brought reinforcement.”

For the most part, Jungkook likes to think he has you figured out. Then, you pull shit like this and he is completely tongue-tied.

Jungkook can’t help but applaud your move. It’s petty and nonchalant… It’s well played. Yet, he feels bittersweet at the very realization that you’ve outsmarted him so early on. 

To be fair, his main moves are centered around lies. 

… Is it so wrong that he thought he could at least get one last good lie before facing the truth?

The truth is that he has grown to like you so much he has completely lost control of his words and thoughts. Every time he’s around you—that’s it. That’s the entire moment. That’s his entire world. He doesn’t know how to keep it that way, you know? He hasn’t figured out how to freeze time and just be with you. So, he lies. He lies in an attempt to make the moment last just a second longer. 

He knows he could have you with a simple conversation and his bunny smile. He knows he’s kindhearted and would be a great boyfriend if you let him… He’s just having a hard time navigating through all the feelings. They consume him faster and fiercer than he expected. The only way to keep up is to keep you near, and the only way to keep you near is to keep making excuses. 

Thus, this week’s excuse. 

He huffs at you. "A home-cooked meal, a movie on my projector, and comfy blankets... Means I'm up to no good? Come on, ___. This is ridiculous!"

"You've been so mischievous ever since—"

"It was just the ice skating thing!" Jungkook defends himself.

"It was also the pocky thing—"

His eyes light up. Jungkook’s lips curve into a smirk. "Ah... Thinking about our kiss, huh?"

Now you feel sick.

Was he serious? How does he do this to you? He says everything so bluntly and out of pocket, your tummy has no choice but to flip upside down and feel all the butterflies flutter.

"N-no!" you panic.

"Pucker up and prove me wrong," Jungkook insists, shutting his eyes and pursing his lips at you. "Like you said, I'm not sick. Kissing me won't get you sick—love sick, maybe..."

You cross your arms at him.

"Jungkook."

Opening his eyes one at a time, he puts his hands up and lets you go. He'll admit defeat here. Clearly, you aren't happy with his moves...

He'll try this.

He'll try honesty.

“___," he smiles, attempting to lighten the mood. "Hey, I was trying to—”

“Flirt?” you finish his sentence. “Yeah, sure… Has it ever occurred to you that you can flirt with me without lying?”

His eyes widen. 

“Does it bother you that much?” He asks, feeling like he is completely messed up. “I’m sorry, baby. I thought it was harmless—”

You shake your head, denying his accusation. It was deeper than that. It is the principal and the root of his lying being a habit in your relationship.

“It’s not that it bothers me that much… It's just... Y-you don't have to do all this, you know? I like getting to know you, but it feels like it's impossible. You keep setting up scenarios for yourself to look good in or for me to take care of you in. I'd do it regardless if you're hurt or not. You know that, right?"

"I do," Jungkook agrees. "I just..."

You look at him with sincere eyes. "Jungkook, I'm just not understanding... Why? It’s just weird to me that you were so confident and honest when you confessed. To be honest, I really admire that part of you. B-but now that you’re… That w-we’re…. Uhmm—it's different. You're acting differently. You can flirt with me all you want. It's whatever... But maybe try something else? I'm tired of you lying, Jungkook.”

He gulps.

"You want honesty?" Jungkook begins. "Here it is... I like you too much. Like, so much that I don't know what to do with myself whenever you're around—not to mention it's even worse when you're not. I want your attention. All the time. Everything about me for everything about you."

"Jungkook—"

"Can you wait for me?" He asks you unexpectedly. "Wait for me to get it right... Because I know I can. I will get it right."

When you two join everyone inside, Jungkook’s apartment is filled with so much chaos it’s difficult for him not to A) partake and B) be upset about everyone crashing his date night (by ambush). 

Honestly, Jungkook’s been pretty busy lately. He’s been neglecting his social life as school, work, and you (not that he’s complaining) have been taking over. In a way, he finds it sweet that you ruined his plans with yours. Especially since you came in with all his friends. It was a nice surprise. He will definitely take note of your sneaky ways too. 

By the time everyone gets hungry, there’s barely any space for anyone to eat. Some friends are sitting on the floor, eating off the coffee table or parts of the couch. Others are eating standing up, and the rest crowd over his tiny kitchen island and dining table. There are a few girls you’ve invited here and just as usual, you all went to the bathroom together. As you all enter back into the scene, there is absolutely no space. 

“___!” Jin calls you over. “Eat with us.”

You look at the girls and exchange laughs. They tease you before pushing to towards the dining table. As you approach, you realize there’s barely space let alone a seat. Without much thought, you gravitate towards Jungkook who is sitting and eating. Squeezing your way through, he notices you and nods towards Hobi. Hobi then responds by handing you a plate of food Jungkook set aside for you. Taking the plate, you thank Hobi. Jungkook then pushes his chair back and just as he’s about to get up from his seat to give to you—

“No, it’s okay. Sit.” You insist. 

“But you don’t have a seat—”

Then, it happens so naturally.

You place your plate on the table next to his and take a seat on his lap. When you do this, all the boys exchange looks but say nothing. Their eyes almost pop out of their head and Hobi even chokes on his food. He tries to hide it and turns away so you don’t think twice about it. They’re all aware of how shy you are and this? This was a big thing for Jungkook that they couldn’t ruin. You were finally coming out of your shell.

Thank god.

Meanwhile, Jungkook feels winded. 

He can’t believe this. 

He can’t believe you.

But given the circumstances… He might just have to. So, he doesn’t say anything. Instead, he smiles at you warmly and tells you that he put all your favourites on your plate. He tells you to eat everything and that he ordered strawberry bingsoo for dessert. 

“I love strawberries!” you gasp. Looking up, you bat your eyelashes and tease him, “yah, you make it too obvious you have a crush on me… You know that?” 

Jungkook squints at you, followed by scrunching his nose. You lean against his forehead and mimic his little stare. 

It takes everything in him to not lean in and kiss you.

Slowly but surely, everyone leaves. The only ones left are you, Jungkook, and the other 6 clowns. Yoongi and Jin went out to start the cars while Joon, Taehyung, Jimin, and Hobi finished up taking the trash out or washing the dishes. 

You and Jungkook are tidying the living room. He thanks you for organizing the little get-together and apologizes again for lying to you about being sick. You tell him it wasn’t that serious—it was just built-up confusion and frustration. Further, you tell him that you don’t want him to see you as someone that he has to jump through hoops to spend time with. You tell him you want it too. You want to spend time with him too. You want to get to know him too. 

You want to fall in love—

"I can do that," Jungkook nods, understanding where you're coming from. Your thoughts are interrupted as he fluffs the final pillow and grabs your hands. He squeezes them and then lets go. "But only if you stop being so oblivious. At least try, you know? It's hard for me too. Like, we're dating and I'm trying to woo you and shit—"

Dating?

Woo you?

Shit.

Your heart skips a beat.

"Wait," you pause. "Jungkook, a-are we dating?”

Just when he opens his mouth to speak, Hobi interrupts. 

“___, let’s go! Jin wants to race Yoongi!” 

Jungkook blinks at Hobi. “You’re not racing when ___’s in the car. Are you mad?”

Hobi lifts his hands. “Shit man, I’m just the messenger!”

Without skipping a beat, Jungkook turns to you with stern eyes. “I’ll drive you home.”

You decline. “You’re already home. Relax, it’s Jin. He’s all talk and no bite.”

“___…”

As a compromise, you promise him; “I’ll ride in Yoongi’s car.”

He thinks about it for a moment. Then, he realizes he has no other practical choice. “Fine. At least if you guys do race, you’ll be in the winning car.”

Hobi coughs. “Yo, what the fuck? I’m riding in Jin’s.”

You laugh and tell Hobi you’ll meet them out the door in a second. Hobi leaves immediately, yelling at Jimin to trade spots with him so he can ride with Yoongi. Once he’s out the door, Jungkook’s apartment falls in silence. 

“.... I better get going,” you breathe. “I’ll see you around?”

Scanning his apartment, you smile at the sight of everything being tidy. Picking up your feet, you head towards the door. Like a sad puppy, Jungkook trails behind you.

As you head out, Jungkook feels an urge in his stomach to make this moment last longer. “Oh... S-sure. See you at the library tomorrow?”

“You hate the library.”

“No, I don’t—”

“It’s also Saturday tomorrow.”

Jungkook blinks at you. “I love spending my Saturdays in the library.”

Giggling at his awful attempt, you remind him, “hey, we just talked about you and your fibs—”

“Sorry, sorry,” Jungkook surrenders. He puts his hands up and tilts his head. Pouting as you put your shoes on, he continues to ramble. “See what I mean? I say the wildest things just to be with you.”

“Yeah, yeah,” you say, plopping back up. Jungkook then helps you put your jacket on and gives you your tote bag. “Whatever you say, liar.”

He rolls his eyes at you. As you open the door, you face him with a silly face. He ruffles your hair as he bids his farewell, “Goodnight. Text me when you get home, baby.” 

Then, just like that, the door shuts and Jungkook is all alone.

As he turns away and finally feels like he can catch his breath after everything that happened between you two tonight, he hears the door knock. Turning back, he reaches for the doorknob, opens the door, and sees you standing there. 

“Did you forget something?”

“Goodnight kiss.”

He draws a blank. 

“What—”

Jungkook’s heart skips a beat as you tiptoe and reach for the nape of his neck and pull him close. Leaning in, you press your lips against him and kiss him softly. Without hesitating, he kisses you back and chases your lips the second you pull away. 

You pull away too fast for his liking.

“Okay, goodnight—”

He kisses you again, deepening it as much as he can. When you pull away to catch your breath, he sneaks in one last kiss. Then, he kisses your cheeks and turns you around. Before sending you off, he teases you one last time. 

“Go away. I hate you.”

Laughing at his words, you realize that sometimes—they aren’t so bad.

Him and his lies.

You and your reading in between lines.

[seozii]

──── ❝ SILENT READING ❞ 📖

The whole classroom was being lousy and annoying. What was better than reading a book with your ear piece plugged in?

⸝♡ fluff, est.relationship, earpiece sharing, 662 WC, 𝐅𝐈𝐂𝐓𝐎𝐁𝐄𝐑

Why was everyone being so infuriating?

The whole classroom had turned into a clown circus all because the teacher was absent.

You definitely weren’t a fan of noisy places. It made you feel some type of headache. And the noisy classroom was currently doing nothing to help.

Scrambling through your bag. Your hands picked up a light storybook.

Curiosity piped in after you read the title and plot of the book.

Feeling like something was incomplete, you dipped your hands right into your bag once again to pull out an ear piece, plugging it into your ear right after.

You sat comfortably and begun to read the book, slowly you were emerging into the book filled with both fan fiction and horror, getting more and more engrossed as you read the words.

All you attention were diverted to the novel right in front of you that you didn’t notice someone pull up a chair beside you, carefully wrapping their arms around you waist with their head slumped on your shoulders.

Not too long after, you felt a hot breath on your neck causing you to flinch.

Looking over to your side you saw sunghoon staring at you blankly. “What was that for?” He furrowed his eyebrows.

“I’m sorry” you apologized chuckling. “But what are you doing here?” You asked closing the book.

“What does it look like I’m doing? Reading obviously” he rolled his eyes resting on your shoulders once again.

“Ah” you let out in realization.

“what a splendid combination of genre fan fiction and horror. I didn’t even know you were into fanfics” he lightly pinched your now flustered cheeks.

“Don’t be flustered. Everyone has their own taste in books”

“Wait could you get up for just a quick moment?” He asked pushing his chair back to his seat.

“Why tho?” You asked a part of you confused as to why he asked that suddenly and the other part inquisitive to see what he was on to.

“Just get up”

Not thinking much of it, you did as he said. Not excepting him to slip right into your seat. “hey, you can’t just do that. Where am I supposed to sit?” You asked folding your arms over your chest.

“Right here” he smirked patting his lap.

“I-I can’t sit on your lap” you stuttered shaking your head.

“But you do that when we’re alone?” He blurted out innocently.

“That’s when we’re alone. This is in the freaking classroom!” You grumbled.

“Doesn’t change a thing. Now come on, sit on my lap or else you want to stand up for a while?” He said with a playful tone.

“I think I’d rather stand” you huffed not ready to follow him this time.

“Okay princess. Do as you wish” he smirked slouching back on the chair.

You tried to maintain your current position but felt your legs getting weaker and weaker, until sunghoon grabbed your wrist and pulled you onto his lap, nuzzling his head into your shoulders.

“Hey! I wanted to stand!”

“Your legs couldn’t stand it. I saw the way it lightly trembled”

“Nowwwww” he dragged pretending to think. “Let’s read together!” He beamed pushing your shoulders to lean backwards against his chest.

“Is that even possible?” You asked looking at him with a face that said ‘wtf’

“Uhhh yes it is now shut up and continue reading” he ordered pulling out the right ear piece from your ear and putting it in his.

You Reluctantly got comfortable in his lap which made him crack a small smile as the both of you confined to read in silence. Enjoying every bit of the moment.

[devildomwriter]

Obey Me As Tumblr #23

Diavolo: What is “lore”

Mammon: Baby don’t hurt me

•

Mammon: Compliment me

Beelzebub: Barbecue sauce

Mammon: Thanks

•

Satan: Once a man now deemed a clown

Solomon: This is without a doubt the funniest description of the joker I’ve ever seen

Leviathan: This is an excerpt from my resume

•

Solomon: When you brush your teeth you are petting your skeleton for a job well done

MC: Smoke meth – Hail Satan

Solomon: What the fuck

•

MC: I haven’t cha cha slid since high school

Mammon: I’ve never seen the cha cha slide referred to in the past tense and I am fucking shaken

•

Leviathan: I’m so glad they removed the “nut” from honey Cheerios

Asmodeus: Now you gotta add your own

Leviathan: Why must you do this to my posts

•

Diavolo: What does it mean when someone says they’re pescatarian and vegan

Raphael: Land animals are innocent of crime but the fish have sinned

•

Thirteen: We only came to this site in the first place b/c we were gay and liked Harry Potter

Asmodeus: I actually came to this site because of onceler incest

Thirteen: Your just gonna say those words huh

•

Leviathan: When manga characters add a heart to their speech… I wish I could do that

Simeon: You can. Just put a little love in your voice. Smile, people hear it

Asmodeus: Moan

Barbatos: Duality of man

•

Simeon: “Clowns are the pegs on which the circus is hung” — P.T. Barnum

Leviathan: Pegging clowns???

Asmodeus: Pegging hung clowns???

Lucifer: This is why this website is worth negative money

•

Mammon: Pregnancy is a hoax the baby sprouts out of the ground I’ve see it happen

Mammon: People pretend to be pregnant for clout it started with one woman named dvd and people been chasing the same high since

Mammon: Meant eve

•

Leviathan: I wish I had an even more vague void than the internet to scream into

Satan: An abandoned Kmart parking lot just before Dawn

Leviathan: Jesus I didn’t say a whole different dimension

•

Belphegor: They’ve got me in some kind of secret facility

Belphegor: Doing experiments on me

Belphegor: I have powers now

Belphegor: I’m gonna fight the government

Solomon: Me when I’m an original character made by a 12 year old

•

Leviathan: I’d rather see 1000 graffiti penises than 1 product billboard. I’d live in dick city if it meant I could avoid advertisements in my daily life

Asmodeus: We built dick city

Mammon: We built dick city on cock and balls

•

Mammon: It’s fun to stay at the y

Mephistopheles: M

Leviathan: M

Thirteen: M

Simeon: *smacks the side of my boom box to get it to stop skipping*

Luke: C

Satan: Young man

•

Solomon: People in the 70s would wake up and be like I need to go hitchhiking right now

MC: Mfs be like good morning Susan! Another serial killer in the paper today, so not groovy! Welp, time for our daily car ride with a stranger!

Mammon: I’d reply to this post but I’m waiting for my Uber

•

Satan: Imagine searching your whole life for the chosen one who will destroy the matrix and save the human race and you find him and he’s fucking Keanu Reeves

Diavolo: YOU FIND HIM DOING WHAT

First • Last • Next

[legendary-69420]

☆o( F1 Grid Gone Wild : The Mystery of the Missing Driver )o☆

Genre: Humor, Friendship, Lighthearted F1 Fanfic Warnings: none I guess

a/n : This is part 5 of the series (You can also read it without reading any previous part). This is not the part of my story racing hearts but is another AU for my character. Hope you enjoy it. _________________________________________________

🏎️ Group Chat Name: "WHERE IS MARK???" 🏎️

[8:45 AM]

Carlos: Guys. Oscar: ? Lando: ? Yuki: What now. Carlos: Has anyone seen Mark? Max: No, why? Carlos: He’s not answering his phone. Charles: Maybe he’s sleeping, relax. Carlos: He’s not at home. Oscar: …what? Lando: ??? WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE’S NOT HOME. Yuki: NOT FUNNY, CARLOS.

[8:50 AM]

Carlos: I’m being serious. I went to his place this morning, and he’s not there. Oscar: Check Ferrari HQ? Carlos: Already did. Not there either. Yuki: Bro, what. Lando: STOP PLAYING, THIS ISN’T FUNNY. Max: His car keys are still in his apartment?? Carlos: Yup. Yuki: Ok, nah, this is feeling illegal. Oscar: He wouldn’t just leave without telling anyone, right? Carlos: He always leaves a text. Always. Max: Okay. Breathe. Where did you last see him? Carlos: Last night in the drivers' lounge. Lando: We were all there last night. Charles: We all argued with him last night. Max: Oh sh— Yuki: …oh. Oscar: Did we push him too far? Carlos: No, no, Mark’s not like that. Lando: Bro was PISSED last night. Oscar: We ALL made fun of him. Yuki: He called us “a circus of overpaid clowns” and stormed off. Max: And then Lando said “Take your main character complex somewhere else” 😭😭😭 Lando: OKAY BUT I DIDN'T MEAN IT 😭😭😭

[9:00 AM]

Charles: I’m going to the track. Carlos: He’s not there, I already checked. Charles: CHECK AGAIN. Oscar: …Charles? Lando: ?? Max: Bro is already in his car. Carlos: He’s going 200 km/h, guaranteed. Yuki: Ferrari finally moving fast for once. Max: 💀💀💀

[9:10 AM]

Oscar: What if he’s hurt. Yuki: Don’t say that. Carlos: What if he’s with… Rico Levian. Lando: 😳 Yuki: …NOT THE SUPER MODEL. Max: THIS IS NOT THE TIME, CARLOS. Oscar: If he’s with Rico, I’m leaving this chat. Yuki: SAME. Charles: HE’S NOT WITH RICO. Carlos: You sound real sure about that, huh? Max: How do YOU know, Charles? Lando: Sounds like somebody’s jealous. Charles: Shut up.

[9:30 AM]

Carlos: I’m calling his parents. Yuki: NO, DON'T DO THAT. Oscar: His mom will freak out. Lando: Isabella Spencer will have the WHOLE GRID in cuffs. Max: We’ll be on the evening news: “F1 Drivers responsible for rookie disappearance.” Yuki: Charles will get blamed first, 100%. Carlos: True. Charles: SHUT. UP.

[10:00 AM]

Charles: I CAN’T FIND HIM. Lando: 😭😭😭 Max: Ok ok, think, think. Where would he go? Carlos: He’s not at the track. Not at home. Not at HQ. His car is at home. Oscar: He doesn’t like clubs, so he’s not out partying. Yuki: He wouldn’t just disappear like that. Charles: THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT. Lando: 😳 Oscar: 😳 Yuki: 😳 Carlos: …Charles? Charles: You ALL were picking on him. ALL OF YOU. Max: 💀 Bro, YOU were laughing too. Charles: I WASN’T MEAN. Carlos: You called him “Drama King in Monaco” and said, “Go ahead, storm off, nobody’s chasing you.” Lando: "Nobody's chasing you" HAHAHA Charles: STOP LAUGHING. THIS ISN’T FUNNY. Carlos: HE’S LITERALLY GONE AND YOU’RE HAVING A MELTDOWN. Charles: YOU THINK THIS IS A JOKE??? Charles: I CAN’T LOSE HIM. I CAN’T LOSE HIM. Yuki: 😳 Oscar: …uh. Lando: "Lose him" ??? Max: EXCUSE ME?? Carlos: WHO SAID ANYTHING ABOUT "LOSING" HIM? Yuki: Charles, are you… are you good? Charles: SHUT UP.

[10:30 AM]

Charles: I’m calling the police. Carlos: NO, NO, NO. Max: Bro, NO. Oscar: STOP. Yuki: WE CANNOT HAVE THE POLICE AT FERRARI HQ. Carlos: DO YOU WANT THIS ON TMZ?! Max: I CAN ALREADY SEE THE HEADLINES: "F1 Drivers Can’t Keep Track of Their Teammate.” Oscar: "Ferrari loses another one." Lando: "Mark Spencer, gone but not forgotten." Charles: YOU ARE ALL USELESS. Yuki: Says the guy about to call Interpol.

[10:45 AM]

Mark: ??? Mark: WTF HAPPENED HERE???!?!? Lando: AAAAAAHHHHHHHH Carlos: AIN’T NO WAY. Oscar: THIS BETTER BE A GHOST. Max: WHERE ARE YOU. Yuki: WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN. Mark: Sleeping, bro?? Lando: SLEEPING WHERE?? Max: ARE YOU OKAY?? Carlos: Do you know we were about to call Interpol??? Yuki: I ALREADY DRAFTED A MISSING PERSON POSTER. Oscar: DUDE, WE WERE ABOUT TO CALL YOUR MOM. Mark: Relax, I was in the driver's lounge. Lando: HUH??? Max: WHERE??? Mark: In the corner. I was sleeping in the beanbag chair. Carlos: YOU WERE IN THE ROOM WITH US THE WHOLE TIME???? Oscar: SIR. Yuki: WE WERE LITERALLY IN THAT ROOM. Lando: WE SAT IN THAT ROOM FOR TWO HOURS. Charles: No. No. No. No. No. Mark: Y’all are so loud, I put my phone on silent. Lando: WE THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD. Carlos: YOU HAD CHARLES READY TO CALL INTERPOL. Oscar: YOU HAD CHARLES SAYING “I CAN’T LOSE HIM.” Max: YOU HAD US READY TO FIGHT RICO. Charles: I’m blocking you. Mark: Why are you mad 💀💀💀 Charles: I HATE YOU. Carlos: "I CAN’T LOSE HIM, I CAN’T LOSE HIM" Yuki: Bro was two seconds from writing a love letter. Oscar: I’m getting this printed on a hoodie. Lando: Nah, we’re making it the NEW CHAT NAME. 🏎️ Group Chat Name Changed to: "I Can't Lose Him 😭😭😭" 🏎️ Charles: DELETE THIS CHAT. Max: NEVER. Carlos: We are eternal. Oscar: LEGENDARY. Mark: Y’all need help.

[thenightshadowqueen]

The best character from each longform

(in my biased opinion)

This is (obviously) a long one, so if you do want to read it, more below.

(Also I left out the Patreon plays. I might do a separate post for them later; we’ll see.)

Jimmy (Tom, Toby’s Secret Pocket)

Look, Jimmy is the best. He’s adorable. He’s the representation we as the autistic community needed. He has happy flappy stimmy hands. He can’t walk through doors. We love him. (STOPINTHENAMEOFTHELAW!!!!!)

André Beetroot (AJ, Burglary and Bobsledding)

André Beetroot (André Beetroot) was iconic the first time around, but his return as the first recurring SFTH character obviously had to be memorialised.

The boy witch (Sam, Moist and Magical)

I was tempted by the witchfinder general, but the boy witch won out with “Henry Cavill with a wasting disease” and his thick accent. Also the cheeky little look he gives his grandma (Luke) when he flips her off wins him a lot of points.

Hugh’s mum (Tom, Marigolds Bluebells and Hugh)

She’s, like, a fair bit unhinged, but she has good intentions. She’s got amazing quotes, too; “why couldn’t you have just stayed in my womb forever” and “if you love something, lock it up” are both deeply concerning, but I love them.

The wife (Tom, Murders in Space)

This one is kind of an obvious choice. I mean, her quotes are glorious, and honestly “have you ever heard of feminism, James?” gets her top spot automatically.

Mario the sheep (Sam, the Lighthouse)

Was this even a question? I love Mario intending to be a one-scene character and then being forced to star in the whole play. I love the human bits. I love “🐑fuck you🐑”. I love the sheep (aka Sam) having a fucking breakdown at the end. 10/10 all around.

Titch (Luke, the Unrelenting Aubergine)

Listen, I was very tempted by Old Lady Margery (and by Derek), but in the end, canon queer guy with commitment issues and insane amounts of blindness around his own feelings won out. What can I say, I have a type in fictional characters.

Troll Son (Luke, Wine Under the Bridge)

Everything about this character is perfect. Screaming as hello? Colourful troll as a metaphor for being queer? Correcting a geography fact? It’s got it all. It’s perfect. I love Troll Son and his wine bar in Ipswich.

Juliet (AJ, Caesar and Juliet)

Is anyone surprised? She’s a murderous girlboss. “[My mother] said you have to be careful about men; they can be corrupted with power. But what she didn’t know is that so can woman.” They can, and I’m here for it. She’s bathing in blood and her skin is glowing. I love insane women.

Watson (Sam, the Mystery of the Midnight Circus)

Watson, driven mad with grief over his divorce and his one-sided love for Sherlock, becomes a murderous clown. Am I supposed to not love this? Is there even another choice in this play? And his breakdown at the end was gorgeous.

Priscilla (AJ, Pricilla’s Final Petal)

I was very tempted by both of her mums, and also a bit by the groundsman, but ultimately, Priscilla won out. She’s the title character. She’s confused, but she’s got the spirit, and she’s working through her trauma with a buttercup and a piano lesson. Good for her.

Marty (Sam, the Evil Make-a-Wish Kid)

I considered the seven-year-old detective, but in the end, Marty won. He’s evil. He’s a make-a-wish kid. What more can I say? He’s got an iconic smirk. He burns down all the petting zoos on the entire planet (and his mum). He dies at the end. He’s brilliant.

Derek (Tom, Susan’s Holiday)

There were a lot of great options in this one, but “I like looking at the back of another man’s head” was too good to pass up. Also, I adore the whole monologue he has while he’s waiting to be buzzed in.

The gasoline salesman (Luke, Beetroots and Murder)

Okay, I know he’s only in, like, a quarter of a scene. I know that. And I can’t tell you why I love him so much but I do. He’s just. I just love him. I can’t explain it. There are so many great characters in this play, but the way he says “could be, could be” has captivated me. If you understand the way my brain works, please contact me, because I don’t.

Peter Steven (Tom, the Milkman)

I love so many characters in this play. I love Gareth, and I love the Texan bartender, and I love David the milkman. But Peter Steven is the sweetest, most traumatised little boy and I want to protect him. I will adopt him and I will never make him walk on his knees again. I will throw away the PS5 and I will let him dig up the back garden as many times as he wants.

Johnny and Janae (Luke and Tom, the Neighbour’s Under the Bed)

I know they’re two separate characters, okay, but they’re a set. I want to keep them together. And I just can’t choose, okay? They’re two autistic children whose neurodivergence presents in opposite ways, and their parents don’t know what to do with them, and oh look, I’m back to wanting to adopt traumatised children.

Captain Egbert (Luke, the Leftenmost Window)

Shoutout to the mum, but Egbert won this one. He’s, like, kind of an idiot. I’m here for it, though. He’s got the iconic “diluileayilybilyeilysilym” speech. He wants to go to the ~astral plane~ but he’s waiting for his birthday. He lets his wife dip him into a kiss even though it’s 1940. I love him.

The king (Sam, the Prime Minister’s First Day)

Listen, I love several characters from this one, but I’m going with this one. He’s unapologetically a dick. He wears impenetrable armour made from diamonds stolen from Indian subculture. He’s impossible to beat. He’s brilliant. (Also did anyone else kind of find Sam hot as the king or is that just me?)

Franz Haberburg (Sam, the Excited Chinchilla)

Obviously fuck Nazis (god I hope that’s obvious). That being said, some of SFTH’s best characters are Nazis, and this is one of them. He’s glorious. I have never seen such a brilliant rendition of a Nazi chinchilla.

The Italian detective (Tom, the Ingredients)

He can’t pronounce paella. Do I need another reason?

Chip (Sam/AJ, the Cardboard Stegosaurus)

Oh look, another traumatised child! I want it. (No, but seriously, I love Chip and his English/French seizures.) Also he’s one of the few characters who switches actors mid-play, and I love that.

Persephone (Tom, Wild Wet and Worrisome)

She’s amazing. “HEY!” is a gorgeous siren call and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. She deserved a happy ending and I’m still sad we didn’t get one. I like to think she swam to the shore and found Geoff again, and they lived happily ever after on a boat at sea, singing and not having to kill anyone.

Full Set O’Hands and his love/bother (Luke and Tom, No! I Always Loved that Caravan)

I know, I know, another set of characters, but you really can’t separate these two. They’re insane. I adore them. They’re just… Honestly, these two are comedy gold. Good for them because they are fucking timeless.

Andrew (Luke, All Eyes on Nigel)

Listen, Andrew is a naive little thing, and he must be protected at all costs. He goes through so much shit in this one, and I just want to wrap him up in a blanket and send him to rehab.

Magnus O. Puss (Tom, BUS)

Okay, this was a VERY close one between them and Arthur B. D., but Magnus is a genderqueer icon and we love them for it. Also, I feel like this is some of the most unhinged Tom content we have and I live for that.

Jeremiah (Luke, Inside the Mysterious Cube)

I was so torn because I love Bubba, too, but I’m trying to avoid putting sets of characters where possible, and Jeremiah just edged past Bubba because his death scene was gorgeous. (That is a mildly concerning reason to have a favourite, I will admit.)

Lord Lafayette (Tom, the Midnight Mystery)

You may be noticing a pattern; I adore Tom’s insane characters. We just don’t get to see that often enough. I love his very sexual flirting with Lady Lafayette (Sam). I love him making fun of the detective’s (Luke’s) shirt. I love “what does any self-respecting rich man do when he has a little boy in tights” followed by “captured—and only captured” as a save. I love him.

Dangerfield (AJ/Tom/AJ again, Once Upon a Time I Killed Mum)

I love the confusion when Tom briefly takes over as Dangerfield; it’s not often we get to see AJ understanding something that Sam doesn’t (I say this with all the love in the world). Dangerfield is so fascinating to me. He’s a “cleaner” for a crime lord, but he has mixed feelings about the things he does. I want to know how he got into it in the first place. How did he come into this life? I want to know.

Barry’s wife (AJ, the Hare who Wore a Sweater)

I don’t remember her having a name, but I could be wrong about that. She’s so sweet; she just wants to knit sweaters for the hares in peace. And then Jimmy the hare gets shot, and she and her husband go on a revenge plot. I’m here for it. I love her.

The king/tank commander (AJ, the Oopsie Daisy Bulge)

He’s obsessed with tanks. He used to have gay sex with his fellow tank commanders, but only as a joke. He sailed all the way around, through the other landlocked counties, into the east of France, and they never saw it coming. He drove tanks into the ocean. He’s so stupid he’s almost smart. I love him.

The landowner/farmer (Luke, Too Big to Be a Jockey)

He farms peasants (Luke, you genius). He’s such a dick, with his classist remarks about Johnny Jones, but somehow I love him anyway. His interview process is looking at a photo of someone and then hiring them, and he’s honestly wonderful. I love him.

Larry (Tom, Long Johns—Strike!)

Literally the only thing he does on screen is die. That’s it. That’s his whole purpose. And he does it beautifully.

Wizard Asceroth (Sam, the Dark Moons of Slough)

ASCEROOOOTTTHHHH!!! (I don’t have another reason. I don’t need another reason.)

The French waiter (Luke, Lost in Your Eyes)

I don’t know. I really don’t. But something about this character has stuck with me since the first time I watched it. Gorgeous accent. He kisses Amanda (Sam) for no reason at all. He gets stabbed by a gun. I love him.

The Lady of a Thousand Don Juans (Luke, the Meringue Haberdashery)

She tricked her husband for years. She murdered her own child. She has been a curse on all the Don Juans in this town. She’s one of the only villains who win at the end of a longform, and that’s very impressive. I love her.

Xavier (Tom, Oh my God is This a Joke?)

(Please refer to my previous statement about Nazi characters.) Okay, look. He’s a horrible person. But we as a fandom choose to disregard that because Tom looks amazing in a leather jacket and scarf. I am not above this. I am, in fact, a part of this. Tom looks amazing in a leather jacket and scarf. “I will die as I have lived…. Shirtless!” has to be one of the most iconic lines of all time. There was never any competition.

[r3starttt]

https://www.tumblr.com/r3starttt/765781552951148544/mornin-i-woke-up-to-so-many-posts-including?source=share

y’know, that part of the gun play in your fic reminded me of one part of “maxxxine” (goin’ a bit woohoo lately, my bad) where SPOILERS she forced a man to be on his knees and made him suck on her gun

tw: gun play; spreading craziness; “i always liked my women a bit crazy”; jinx can shoot me in the head, i’ll revive and apologize for making a mess on her clothes; not that kind of a mess, but, y’know, taking a bloodbath of your lover sounds like a sexy mess.

so, i imagined smth similar with jinx 🤕 (my li’l maniac deserves more recognition and fics with fem!reader)

where jinx would slip the barrel of the gun between your slicked lips from how nervous you got at the prospection of being shot (deep down knowing that jinx would never harm you, no matter the ‘alice’s wonderland’ that she had going on in her fucked up head).

how she would say, “suck,” as if you would’ve not done it yourself — no questions asked — before wrapping your lips loosely around the muzzle and starting to bob your head up and down the metallic surfaces; feeling the ridges and the bumps.

noticing jinx’s open wide in that familiar delirium and fascination eyes as she watched the show you put on for her. how her forefinger would tremble ever-so-slightly on the trigger, making it more noticeably for your own satisfaction, but also like a silent warning. ‘move and i could easily shoot you in that pretty mouth of yours’

how you would comply and take more inches of the barrel as it was shoved into your cavity, touching the back of your throat and making you gag slightly — leaving jinx cooing at you condescendingly, as if the sight alone was a fuckin’ shit show or a circus with clowns for her enjoyment alone, instead of her girlfriend being pointed with her gun and making her do a blowjob to the aforementioned.

with your knees rubbing and pressing together mercilessly (mindlessly, at this point), which prompted a reaction of jinx immediately. placing her boot between your bare thighs and shoving them apart forcefully, before pushing the tip against your naked, exposed to the air cunt — raising an eyebrow in silent inquire. “y’know what to do,” she rasped — her voice sounding as if someone passed a nail over a sandpaper; the only sign of her own need and lust for you. “either you move those hips, or m’gonna leave you hangin’ here. alone. and you don’wanna that, don’cha? no, you don’t, ‘cuz you’re such a slut for me.”

and you did. buckling your hips slowly, tentatively against the provided leathery material. your breath staggering in the back of your throat, but scooting closer to the source of friction and, surprisingly, warmth.

the raw need to be jinx’s meal, guys 😮‍💨. i’m just a girl.

DID YOU JUST WRITE THE WHOLE FIC

someone give this woman an award

[another-day]

time for another lovely EPISODE IN REVIEW!!! and boy, do we have a lot to discuss for this one

!!!SPOILERS FOR II EPISODE 16!!!

oh my gosh

that episode was insane, i’m still reeling from it, but let’s start from the beginning

i remember seeing a post somewhere where someone was saying 3gs would most likely have a very ‘army general’ type personality, and i think that still holds, just not to the degree i intially thought

he’s someone who focuses on motivation and praise to not only please but get people to follow through. this is not in the way of manipulation, just in order to get what needs to be done, done. expanding on his personality like this was so interesting, especially interspersing his moments of fear with his moments of joy because he hadn’t seen other people in years. it really goes to show how cobs can negatively affect other characters than mephone 4.

trophy has really grown as a character in the sense that he can now see the fundamental flaws in the persona of knife, though i do feel he’s still heavily guided in this by his own values. he has this firm belief that knife is similar if not the exact same as him; angry and violent. he breaks down all of the cracks in knife’s facade, but incorrectly so, which was interesting.

alongside this, knife is shown to still be perceived incorrectly to how wishes to be by many of the contestants. considering he’s trying to make such an effort to change and become a good person only for trophy to treat him like this is clearly dishesrtening to him. as much as he likes to build up his whole tough guy persona, in this episode and the last, we’ve seen that the words of others, especially those he considers allies, can really affect him. granted, trophy is no ally of his, but it still has an impact on him to be so shamelessly called out, even if a lot of it is assumption.

i love that they make everyone’s attempts to comfort suitcase feel so condescending in order to emphasise her confusion and disarray in terms of the situation. this feels like a circus, where suitcase is realising she’s a clown for being fooled. i love her reaction to realising nickel and balloon are friends because she has that underlying anger, yes, but more than anything else she’s confused and upset. soooo cool.

i nearly screamed but it was two in the morning when i was watching this so i did not.

but oh my gosh, the idea of “deleting” a character is horrifying. as taco put it, seeing “the life drain out of him” must’ve been horrifying for her. this, oj’s, and nickel’s deletion are only amped up by this prospect of having people around to see the life drain out of someone they were once friends with.

also why did it have to be pickle. literally what did he do.

also also, now we know what happened to toilet i guess.

forshadowing cobs being able to see wherever they go, alongside how everything of theirs in under control, even if not by cobs.

cobs is meant to parallel mephone 4 in this scene. his advertisment is very “brainwash”-y, and it emphasises what a hold he used to have on people and the control he once held through his creations. similarly so, through the reveal at the end, WHICH I’LL GET TO, we see that mephone similarly has control over all of the contestants, whether direct or otherwise. so very peculiar really.

depicting the death scenes like this was brilliant. a persuing entity, sounded by alarms that only the person who is to be killed can hear is a horrifying concept, and something so horrifying from an outsider perspective.

imagine this from paper’s perspective: you’re arguing with your best friend about the amount of tasks you’ve been given for so little credit, and you finally admit everything that’s been bothering you. instead of the reassurance you usually receive, your friend stands there in shock before asking “do you hear that?” you hear nothing. the fear on his face grows and he backs against the door, crying for something you can’t see to ‘stop’. you’re confused, but before you can question it, he’s dead, spilled. any semblance of life in him as disappeared, and everyone is terrified.

this was so masterfully executed all the times it happened; taco’s incoherency when she was found with pickle, the hotel’s reaction when oj spills, and baseball’s silence and shock as he re-enters after nickel’s death. it sets up a tone of horror, and shows just how unaware everyone truly is. soooooo very cool.

it was so cool seeing the purgatory crew again because i really missed these goofy guys. but it really gets you thinking about what role they’re going to play.

unlike bow, all of the “deleted” contestants have had their melife icons completely removed, so that begs the question; will they be turned into ghosts at purgatory mansion? bow states in the episode that it took her a while to appear in the mansion, so it gets you thinking if deletion counts as a perma-death, and those killed will be turned to ghosts.

knife’s very impersonal handling of this situation versus suitcase’s gentle assurance and questioning really brings out the difference between these two.

this scene is meant to make knife seem foolish for wanting to rush by all this, but that’s not what knife intends to look like, again bringing back this idea of misunderstanding his actions. knife doesn’t like focusing on what’s around him when he’s been given a clear objective, getting information to find cobs in this case. alongside this, he doesn’t have the same understanding of what 3gs has been through as suitcase, yet he tries, to a degree, to understand this individual. when knife isn’t given the information he needs, he looks for his own means of finding it, and moves ahead.

suitcase on the other hand is shown to want to take it slower. unlike knife, she’s more invested in the story than the lesson or outcome. this is something normally detrimental to someone in a finale, but due to their working together, knife doesn’t really get too far ahead of her. she wants to understand motivations for actions so that she can figure out how to respond, whereas knife just wants to, for lack of a better phrase, cut to the the chase. very interesting.

now, the titular reveal of the episode, “the reality of the situation”, if you will.

despite how of guard i was caught, this makes perfect sense.

though i don’t really like season three, cabby has a scene where she freaks out when questioned about her parents. i initially thought this had something to do with her memory issues, but this explanation makes much more sense. bot knew about theur parents because their parents actually exist, cabby’s did not.

no character ever talks about their past, nor their parents, nor their motivation to join the show. it all quite literally starts from the first episode, and picks up from there. that is why mephone can regenerate them. that is why when mephone dies they can’t be regenerated, because as their creator, he was the only one capable of REcreating them. its an incredible reveal, and a very well working one.

all in all, this episode was phenomenal. the chracter work and development and storyline were all so well done and i totally adore it. episode 15 was very character focused and took a step away from the plot. this episode on the other hand took the plot and bolted with it, scattering all slrts of bombshells on the way.

i love this episode because it shows unity and disharmony and everything really feels like its coming together and i’m so excited for the next episode.

till next time lovelies!!!

[somanyratsinthewalls]

Bubble gum snow drop plzzzz ❤️❤️❤️🤡🔥🔥🔥

clown fuckers rise up !

Pairing: Buggy x Female Reader

WC: 2000

Prompt: “You’re obviously freezing. Just come here.” 

— — 

*cough* *cough* *sputter* *cough*  

Your eyes snap open and see a cloudless late afternoon sky. You immediately lurch forward to purge the seawater from your lungs. You flip over on your hands and knees while choking out the rest of the water, you gasp and cough trying to catch your breath. 

It had all happened so fast. You were aboard Buggy’s ship to do some negotiations when a massive storm hit. Your serious discussion had been interrupted by violent shaking of the ship and sounds of wood breaking all around you. You both headed out to the deck to assess the situation and that was the last thing you remembered. 

You had seemingly been washed ashore on some small island near where the storm had hit. You finally catch your breath enough to look around. You see what seems like the shape of another human being washed along the shore about fifty yards away. You rub at the salt water stinging your eyes, to make sure you were really seeing another person laying on the beach. After you regain your full vision you realize that yes, yes there was someone laying on the sand, someone with bright blue hair… and someone who certainly wasn’t moving. 

Instinctively you start to sprint towards the body on the beach as fast as you can. Upon arrival, you see Buggy’s body laying face down in the wet sand with no signs of life. 

“Shit…” You huff out. His stupid chop-chop fruit. He probably couldn’t push the salt water out of his lungs like you did. You flip him over onto his back and quickly move to straddle his waist. 

“Come on…” You press your hands onto his chest and push down with your whole body. You continue to pull back and push down in a frantic manner, trying to get him to cough up the sea water. 

“Don’t die, you fucking asshole!” You give one especially hard thrust to Buggy’s chest and his hands fly up to your waist as he begins coughing violently. You hop up to hover above him as he expels the water from his lungs and catches his breath. 

“Y/n?” Buggy looks up at you, confused. 

“Yes?” You question. 

“YOU’RE God?!?!” He shrieks out and his eyes widen. 

“Oh my GOD.” You roll your eyes. “I’m not god you fucking moron, you aren’t dead. Not yet at least.” You pick yourself up off the sand. “It’s getting dark, we can’t look for the rest of the crew until the sun’s back up. We need to find somewhere to shelter for the night.” 

Buggy groans and rolls around dramatically on the sand. 

“This is ridiculous! I’m stuck here with you? Here I thought you’d be in and out of my office with your Berries and I’d never have to deal with you again. Now we’re bunking up in the wilderness?” “Excuse me, circus act? I just saved your fucking life, dickhead. And if you’d like to continue living that life, I’d follow me.” You turn tail and start to walk towards the rock formation in the center of the island. Buggy looks around and sees that you are clearly his only hope at surviving this ordeal, so he scrambles to his feet and follows you. 

Eventually you come across a cave deep enough to shelter yourselves from any enemies or predators for the night. You order Buggy to gather some sticks and logs to put a fire together. You dig your cigarette lighter out of your pants pocket and pray to whatever gods that would listen for it to still be functional. Luck was on your side and the lighter flickered to life in your hand. You light the firewood carefully and watched over the growing flame for several minutes. 

Once the fire was lit, you and Buggy brought yourselves close to the flames so that you could finally feel some warmth in your damp clothes. The night had grown pitch black and you were feeling the aches and pains of being washed ashore catching up with you. 

“I’m going to try to sleep. You should get some rest too.” You crawl over to a corner of the cave and curl up on your side against the rock wall. 

“Right.” Buggy chooses a spot opposite the cave and lays down on his back. He throws his large coat over his body like a blanket. 

Several minutes go by and your body was wracked with a chill that wouldn’t go away. Being stuck in wet clothes all day and the ache in your bones was causing you to shake violently. You rub your sides trying to create more warmth with friction when you hear a sigh from across the cave. 

“You’re obviously freezing. Just come here.” Buggy gruffly announces. 

“What?” You question through chattering teeth. 

“You and I both know how body heat works. Do I have to spell this out for you, princess? Just get over here.” 

You weigh your options. You could go cuddle up to Buggy the Clown or you could freeze to death in a damp corner of a cave. You crawl over to Buggy. He lifts up his coat and beckons you to join him underneath it. You shuffle your body into his under the coat and you already begin to feel warmer. Buggy wraps his arm around you when he felt your shivering shoulders against his chest. 

Although it was significantly warmer in Buggy’s arms, you still couldn’t help but shake from the cold. 

“We should take our clothes off.” You hear from the man behind you. You snap your head in his direction. “Excuse me?!”

“Oh relax, don’t get too excited. Our clothes are still damp, we’re not going to warm up like this. We’ll freeze and catch a cold…. And I do not do well with nasal congestion.” Buggy sits up and starts stripping himself of his wet clothing before you could protest. 

“Jeez can you at least give me a second to look away before you pull your dick out?” You close your eyes instinctively. You unfortunately realize how right the clown was. There was no way you’d warm up if you stayed in your clothes. You sigh and slip your shirt over your head and shuffle your pants down your legs. You cross your legs and move your arms to cover your breasts and pull the makeshift blanket back over you. 

Finally out of your wet garments and with a warm body holding you close, you were able to relax. You release a deep exhale and close your eyes to try and get some sleep. Right as you were about to drift off, you feel something hard twitch against your backside. Your eyes shoot open. 

“Is your dick hard right now?!” You snap at him. “We almost died, you old pervert! How can you be hard?”

“I understand that, y/n!” Buggy hisses out at you, grinding his cock further into your body. You didn’t know if he was doing it on purpose or if he just couldn’t help it. “Regardless of what happened earlier, there is a hot naked girl laying next to me. I’m still a man, y/n.” The way he growled into your ear, your body began to betray you…

You sighed at the feeling of his needy body dry humping you. You pressed your ass further into him and Buggy groaned lowly. He moves his hand from its place on your stomach up to grip your breast. He gropes it harshly, using it almost as an anchor to pull your body back into his. 

Buggy gives your breast a particularly rough squeeze and you involuntarily moan out loudly. You slap your hand over your mouth. You hear the man behind you chuckle. 

“You’re wet right now, aren’t you, y/n?” Buggy whispers in your ear. “Does this turn you on, y/n? You like when I play with your tits like that?” 

Your cunt pulsed at his filthy words. You couldn’t come up with a response other than a whimper. The hand that was groping your breast suddenly released it to pull your right leg up and over his hip, effectively spreading your legs open for him. 

“I bet if I touched this sweet little pussy, she’d be soaking wet. Should I see if I’m right, y/n?” Without waiting for a response from you, Buggy detaches his other hand from wherever it was and slips it between your legs. He uses his middle and first fingers to slip effortlessly through your slick folds. You gasp as he lets his fingers linger on your clit and applies a bit of pressure. 

“Looks like I’m right! You’re all hot now too, what do you say we warm up a bit faster hmm?” Buggy purrs in your ear as he dips his two fingers shallowly in your hole, teasing you before coming back up to rub at your clit, spreading copious amounts of your slick around your throbbing sex. 

“We really shouldn’t, B-buggy… oh!" He pushes his digits into your entrance again and you yelp out. 

“Come on baby, let me stick it in you. It’ll feel good…” Buggy continues pumping his fingers in and out of you, working you up further. “Feel how wet you are?” Buggy dramatically squelches his fingers in your dripping cunt and you clench at the noise and the feeling. “It’d be a shame to let this go to waste… don’t you want to cum? I’ll make you cum on my cock, just let me put it in…” 

How could someone be so hot while simultaneously begging you to let him take you? You were desperate for release so you relented to the clown’s pleas. 

“Yes, fuck me.” You breath out. Buggy pulls his fingers out of you and his leaking cock was already prodding at your hole. You don’t know how did it so fast, it was almost like a magic trick. 

You were so wet that your walls welcomed Buggy’s cock easily. You both groan and gasp as he makes his first experimental thrusts into you. 

“Shit baby, you’re so tight! If I had known you had such a nice pussy I would have bent you over the desk in my office earlier!” Buggy hikes your leg higher in his hand in order to penetrate you even deeper. 

“Right there!” You huff out and throw your head back against Buggy’s shoulder. 

“Here, baby? Does that feel good?” Buggy continues to thrust his cock into you, tip brushing against that sensitive spot with each pass through your slick walls. He nips at your ear as you melt further into his body. He brings his hand that was holding your thigh down to push on your lower tummy. 

“B-buggy… fuck…” The sensation of his cock sliding through your sensitive insides was heightened by his hand on your stomach. “I-I… I think I’m gonna cum… fuck!” Before you finish your sentence the pressure in your abdomen releases and you orgasm violently on your clown lover. 

“There it is, good girl…” Buggy speeds up his thrusts into your still spasming pussy. “Squeezing me so tight, fuck I’m gonna cum too, shit…” 

You feel Buggy grip the soft skin of your tummy and pull your body impossibly closer to his as he spills his thick seed deep inside you. You felt rope after rope of hot liquid fill you to the brim and spill out around his member at your entrance… must have been awhile for him… 

Buggy’s breath was hot and ragged on your neck and you feel his nose nuzzle your spine. 

“So… you still cold?” Buggy asks. 

“I think I’ll be okay now, thanks.” You laugh and cuddle your body into his front even closer. “You’re still inside me, you know.” 

“I know… can we sleep like this? Please? You’re so warm…” 

You roll your eyes. 

“Fine,” You respond. “But if people come looking for us and find us like this in the morning, you’re a dead clown.” 

“Worth it.” Buggy yawns and quickly begins snoring behind you. Finally being comfortably warm, you too drift off to sleep. 

-- --

xx Mo 

[b4mpyre-k1zz3s]

The Jackass Guys Working in Fast Food HC’s!

Warnings: Suggestive content, crude language, drug use, tampering with food (and general bad food service practices)

An: This fic was largely inspired by this spot the guys did for the Arby’s Action Sports Awards, a concept which still eludes me to this day…

The awards show that invited the jackass guys to host had this sponsorship deal with some fast food company,

And, as written in tiny print on the contract, the guys ended up getting roped into something they’d never thought they’d have to deal with:

Working in food service.

Johnny

Given his position as the leader of the group, Johnny is kinda the manager by default

Partially because he’s so charismatic and partially because he just has pretty privilege so customers can’t get too mad at him

So when the drive through window gets stuck, guess who’s running orders outside?

He was the most responsible one and often takes up the job of cleaning up the dining area,

Even though he did have a tendency to clean off tables while people were eating or sweep a little too close to the patrons,

“Uh, scuse’ me, ma’am…Feet up, please.” And they never seemed to mind!

In fact, anytime someone got their order messed up, guess who they send in?

“I really am sorry for the inconvenience, sir,” Knoxville shoveled about twenty apple pies into a bag as turned to speak over his shoulder to the pissed off customer

“But I just wanted the order I paid for-”

“Shh…Just between you and me.” Johnny nudged the bag closer to him with a wink, “Go ahead- take it! I gotcha.”

And he actually took it.

Bam

“What’re you- some kinda wussy?” Bam had a tendency to shit talk customer’s orders, often pressuring them to size up,

“C’mon, be a man! You know what, dude? I’m just gonna put you down for a large combo…”

God forbid a customer is rude to him because holy shit. Bam is a master the guerrilla food terrorisim!

He has 100% spit in a guys onion rings because he yelled at him over the drive thru

And you bet he served them with a smile

Even though Bam has that whole line cook look, he’s maybe the worst person you want to have working at your restaurant.

It’s pretty rare that he gets sent out to register duty (due to the fact it takes him forever to make change)

But when he does, he just looks so disheveled from working in the kitchen

I’m talking condiments on his apron, pieces of meat just…hanging off of him, which obviously raised a couple eyebrows

“I mean- I was in the kitchen. I was workin’ hard back there! Can’t you tell?”

Steve-O

Steve couldn’t help but grin to himself when the angry customer over the drive through sarcastically asked him if he was ‘on something’

“Yes, sir- I am.”

Completely opposite to Bam, Steve is the closest thing they have to a model employee due to his experience working shitty jobs

If you order a four piece nugget, and he’s making it, count on getting a fifth one every time because he knows he would be pumped if he got one.

Point is, Steve is the fast food employee everyone loves, and that extends to his work at the counter

When all the guys are hustling to get orders out on time during a rush, guess who’s out there doing clown tricks to keep customers entertained?

Doing backflips off of the counter and juggling condiment packages to keep people happy people while whistling that one circus theme

“If you like the condiment stuff, wait till you see what I do with the drinks!”

Chris

“Welcome to Arby’s! Can I tempt you with my- I mean, our meat?”

Him and Steve have competitions as to who can say the most out of pocket thing over the drive thru speaker. He’s in the lead (for obvious reasons).

One of the best ones he came up with was when he was told to advertise the new dessert offerings,

“Are you sure you don’t wanna try one of our pies? The cream is delicious.”

Him and Steve are inseparable, usually spending more time fucking around in the kitchen than actually preparing food

So when, in the middle of a rush, the mayo gun Steve was using gets jammed and (despite his very skillful efforts to fix it) explodes all over him, Chris has a lot to say,

“Oh my god-” He turned to where his buddy was standing there, stunned, “Steve. Is this your man-aise?”

The customers could hear their laughter from the kitchen.

And speaking of Steve, Chris came up with a few tricks of his own to pull when he’s on register duty

Like walking out with two burgers stuffed in the top of his apron like boobs,

“Can I take anybody’s order?” He looked around the restaurant like nothing was amiss as he adjusted the twins.

Ryan

“Welcome to Arby’s, where the world’s a better place…” Ryan sighed, reading off the drive thru script for the fiftieth time that day,

“Whaddya want?”

Ryan hates dealing with customers and, in the middle of a rush, went out for a “smoke break”, which really meant he was going to hide in the freezer until his shift was nearly over

“Really, Ry?” Bam raised an eyebrow at the ice crystals in his beard, which only tipped him off that something was amiss because it was June.

Kinda similar to how Steve and Chris have their drive thru routine, him and Bam tag team on food sabotage, only Ryan’s arguably less gross

Like the worst he’s ever done was take a sip out of a guy’s milkshake before he gave it to him.

It isn’t that hard to believe given the fact he introduced the guys to using “God’s Tongs”

(if you don’t know, is a nice way to say picking up food with your hands)

In fact, everyone remembers that one day a customer was complaining to him that their burger arrived without a bun, holding out the bare patty to show him,

“Alright- I gotcha.” Ryan took a few steps back, grabbing a top bun from the back, and he just chucked the thing at the guy!

That top bun landed perfectly on top of that burger.

[campbell-rose]

Helluva Rewrite: Blitzø

ft Loona doodles :) Alright first off sorry this took so long i got a job lol

A large part of his character is the fact that he used to be a clown, so I took a bit of two face in this design and accentuated the scarring on the left side of his face. I decided to give him the circular cheek bits to allude to the clown as well as ruffling his collar under the clothes. He’s the most complex design of the IMP so far, aside from Loona’s multiple spots, so i tried to keep the colors simple but distinct from M&M. I took the spikes and put them on his clothes – as in he puts on thorns to keep people away. I think a pink tone suits his more lusty character. 

Now as for his character... I'll be honest I struggled with him for a bit. I wasn’t entirely sure where I wanted his character to go or how serious this rewrite would take the drama Viv wants to write. I adore writing deep characters, so I suppose I’m going to have to take The Office’s approach of being a comedy with moving parts. There are overarching plot lines in this version, that being Moxxie’s mafia ties coming back to haunt him, Blitzo’s past coming back to fuck him over in the form of everything about him, and Millie’s insecurities fucking her over when it counts. Maybe the series underlying theme is how running from your problems doesn’t work. Idk, because I also like the whole monster of the week type assassin gigs they do. I’ll make it work. 

So now, introducing the new and improved Blitzø! 

Blitzø is a mixed imp, his father being from Greed and his mother being from Lust. As such he’s a very poor mix of bad traits. He’s hypersexual (to the point of disturbing others), greedy as fuck (as he underpays Millie and Moxxie), is greatly attached to and possessive of those he likes (hence his smothering of Loona and stalking of M&M), and tends to think with his dick in most situations which get him into quite a few pickles (hehe pickle) 

Alright, so personality wise he is just about the same. He shits on others, is generally an ass and not very shy about it, but one thing I want to change is his delivery. This Blitzø is much more jovial about what he’s doing, putting on an act of being very charming and playful, even when he insults people. Ex, the line in the pilot when he mentions Moxxie crushing his dreams would include a very childish pout and a chuckle after. He plays the things he says off as jokes so it gives him an air of... idk like you don’t know when he’s ever being serious. 

He grew up in a circus in Greed along with his twin sister Barbie Wire (side note if Blitzo was my og creation he would have a pun/type name like Barbie does. Too tired to come up with one now, but mainly just because Barbie Wire is a much more creative name than fucking Blitzo) and his mother, who was dying day by day. His father was the ring leader and used his children as props to make money. Blitzo was a double act with Barbie Wire where they would do tricks on trained horses before Barbie started wanting to do trapeze and Blitzo was paired with Fizz instead to do acrobatics and tell jokes. 

Now since we don’t know what the fuck happened in Blitzo’s past (despite being on fucking season 2) I’m going to leave this bit open ended until Viv plays her cards then rewrite it into my story.  

So overall I’m not tweaking too much with Blitzo. Maybe instead of being a woobie who is like oh woe is me I suck he is just an overt asshole who sort of wants to be better but that’s too much work.  

His relationship with Stolas is a can of worms and I fucking hate worms. Alright, so we’re scrapping the childhood buddies thing, and going full force into what we all were shown in the pilot – this powerful demon is banging Blitzo in exchange for the Grimoire. Now real quick, why doesn’t Blitzo use Asmodean crystals? In this I'm making it so only lust demons can bond with crystals (bonding meaning only that demon can use them) and unbound crystals can’t leave Lust. So Blitzo would have to go to Lust and buy one, which is expensive as fuck and he was too broke at the time he struck the deal with Stolas. He’s planning on ditching Stolas as soon as he has enough cash to buy a crystal for IMP to use. 

So Stolas and Blitzo are both using each other, neither of them are like “omg I think he likes me”. Stolas wants sex to fuel his imp fetish and Blitzo wants the book. Blitzo has every intention of cutting this off as soon as he gets the crystal, and in his mind is only really indulging some rich brat demon. The issue comes when Blitzo finds himself actually liking Stolas – he likes the owl’s stupid spiels about literature and space and herbs, he likes that Stolas tells him helpful things with no prompting (like how certain herbs can treat injuries and things like that), and he finds himself liking Stolas’s company. Which is a big problem if he wants to cut the demon off, so he starts trying to get that in gear. This is also while being constantly reminded how unlovable he is and how he ruins everything he touches, but he’s conflicted because Stolas has started to treat him kindly and refer to him like an acquaintance rather than a sex toy. 

Any I'm tired af, going to bed. 

Oh, but before I go I just want to say that now that I’ve finished the IMP gang, I’m taking a minor break from reworking Helluva and will be posting some RWBY redesigns I’ve made because I fucking hate RWBY but at the same time it’s like my childhood. I’ll tag anything Rwby I'm doing as Rwby Rework if you’re interested, but don’t worry I’ll continue to do more viv/helluva/hazbin later this month! 

Thanks for reading <3

[mrc-t]

Circus Au

This was so silly to draw, I giggled the whole time. Basically a crack au that I thought of last night because I love drawing circus related stuff. Here’s some stuff I thought off on the fly down below

So basically instead of being in a motel when he gets the post card he’s in a circus that’s in Minnesota at the moment.

While he was running from Rico he noticed a circus and trailed with them since his bright red car kind of blended in. They found out and the ringmaster who’s old as dirt takes a liking to him. Even though he said the show was a bit crappy.

Now mind you this is in the past so a lot of circuses still used animals in their shows. There was a brown bear that was supposed to be apart of the show but had been extremely temperamental for the last couple of months. Not sure how exactly, but Stan works his magic and the bear becomes super attached to him.

The bear is his little fur baby that he gets to the point of letting her out of the cage whenever. It’s an actual problem that Stan 100% doesn’t care about. I guarantee they’ve just barely avoided lawsuits.

His job is to help with the bear and basically be an assistant for the ringmaster. He does spend some of his free time talking to one of the Clowns in the circus. She tells him to call her Cookie, he knows it’s not her real name but it’s not like he gave his either. He goes by Steven Linden.

His first thought about Cookie is that she’s super strange, she had bright red hair (super uncommon at the time), a gold tooth and bells hanging from her hair. They do end up bonding about their inability to not cause at least a minor amount of chaos. They become close besties, enough that she does learn his real name and some of his history later on.

The circus isn’t home but he hasn’t felt this put together (just barely) in ages, and he likes the easy companionship he has with Cookie and Nova (I’ve decided that’s the bears name). Nevermind the fact that he was involved in two fights and didn’t even get kicked out. Sure he still sleeps in his car but at least he’s getting full meals and a paycheck (barely anything).

Not sure what else I’m putting in it but this is what came to me so far.

[super-hero-confessions]

As a Gambit fan, I’m sick to death of his character being reduced to himbo husband. He’s not just a support role, he’s a fully fledged character with an incredible storyline that writers ignore to make him malewife. It’s tiring.

I knew Uncanny would be terrible but now we’re supposed to be getting an “untold tale” from Gambit’s past I’m fed up. I don’t care who he’s shipped with, that should never compromize his character. Gail Simone is not a Gambit fan, she just uses him as a sexy accessory for her self-insert ooc. When it first came out and I saw the nonsense she was writing - “I oughta be used to death. Instead, I was silent and not fit company. Logan understood. My poor husband did not” - I knew Gambit was about to be assassinated for the 1000th time.

Gambit doesn’t know death? Gambit who, when he was a baby was abandoned at birth and raised by a cult who despized him but needed to use him so kept him around doesn’t know death? Gambit who was a street kid who had to fend for himself, who was groomed by Candra into child slavery, who was forced to marry his first love and best friend before they were ready and then had to kill his pervert brother-in-law doesn’t know death? Who has guilt and self loathing for the death of his cousin Etienne and has felt nothing more than used and abused his whole like, The young, traumatized man who was so afraid of how out of control his powers had got he willingly got a lobotomy from Sinister who used it against him so he would help butcher a group of his own people doesn’t know death? Has this woman even read a comic about him or done an ounce of research??? No, he’s just the hot sitcom husband for her favorite character (who she’s also butchering fyi) and fans are hyping this up? Tell me you don’t like or understand Gambit without telling me.

Why’s it so hard for marvel to hire people who actually know and like the characters they’re writing about? Why aren’t they doing something about her unprofessional behaviour towards fans and other creatives. She stirs the pot and gets away with it thanks to romy fans. No hate to your ship but seriously, if you’re comic fans why aren’t you speaking up on this? Are you that vindictive to another, less popular ship that you’re going to stand by and let your favorite characters be tarnished just to see badly written slop of said characters? Romy fans are the loudest voices, why aren’t you speaking up for the characters you’re supposed to love so much and shouting people down when they try to? Gail Simone is turning them into a circus and you’re the clowns cheering her on then play the victim when other fans call you out on it. What happened to fandom?