#no I just think the way the picture is framed is how i feel
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Lmao a&a reader sticking pics of all her milestones and events her family missed and unreplied texts all over the house (a father daughter day at school pic sticked twice on Bruce's door) out of anger and pettiness (srry abt the bad English I just had this idea suddenly)
— masterlist !
reblogs and interactions are encouraged and appreciated.
oh my god anon, you are so brilliant because this will happen eventually. like as much as i want a hurt, constantly aching pain to happen to the reader, i also portrayed them to be still bitterly petty towards their family. that translates to shoving it in all their faces about just how much they - specifically bruce - lost so much years of bonding with them just because they chose to be ignorant enough.
just picture this: an entire manor, with hallways filled with printouts of all of dick's unreplied texts, picture frames upon picture frames stacked on every corner where it's just you and alfred against the world, leaning on to the old butler in every image, reminiscent of a father figure more than bruce could ever be.
there're also pages of ripped diary entries stuffed under the couches' mattresses. pages which documented all the years and moments where you write and rant about your bitterness towards the family— how 'dick never looks at me, jay won't even spare me a glance whenever i talk to him, i think tim genuinely doesn't think i exist, and maybe damian just wants me dead'.
and all those entries, despite causing you more burden of having to confront bruce in his office about your mental health, about how it's unhealthy to dwell in the past; it genuinely gives you a sense of control within your trapped cage— if you could even call it that.
yet the more you shove it in their face, the more they smother you with attention: trying to overcorrect.
then suddenly your petty plans turned into a ploy, an excuse for them to bond with you even more because of course! of course those bitter reminders are just you wanting their attention individually! of course, it's your stubborn call to them that they do have a chance of reconnecting with you!
just let them spare themselves the heartbreak and instead replace the hurt upon seeing you so adamant of denying them the love; turning it into a way to become closer to you— a genuine apology in their part if you will, despite your refusal to call it that.
whenever you mention how dick never looks at you eye-to-eye, suddenly, his eyes are all over you, like he's burning the memory of your entire form under his eyelids. every time you mention his dismissal towards your request of hanging out, suddenly, it's him inviting you to every small thing. hell, his attention became too much to the point he suggests that you just sleep in his bedroom because, "it's only right that we spend all the lost moments together, right baby bird? now, don't we have another movie we have to catch on? and don't worry, it's only gonna be just the two of us."
he says, with a saccharine sweetness to his voice, masking the overly possessive undertone in the last sentence, as if there never was those past years filled with yearning, as if it was never you who chased after him. the more your diary entries are read, the more dick takes note in every missed invitation he never entertained. it doesn't even matter if you've already watched the movie, you'll rewatch it, with him, and only with him. because in his eyes, your requests to spend time with him specifically means that all your future moments are exclusively spent with your eldest brother.
with just how much he takes your time every day, you almost feel like it's his attempts of filling that void thirteen years without him.
then there's jason, who once knew what your boundaries were. and although he respects it now, he couldn't deny just how heavenly it is to have his angel in his arms. and could you deny all those diary entries rambling about what it's like to be in your big brother's arms? those documentations of your feelings at its purest form just means to jason that you still want, no, yearn to be embraced by him. the second eldest never really initiates contact first unlike dick, but whenever he does, it's always with you. the first time he hugged you, in his lonesome apartment, he couldn't really bring himself to let go despite your complaints— so what could stop him now that they have you in their grasp?
"hey angel, don't you think it'd be nice if i read you 'little women' tonight?" jason asks you, because of that one day where you filled his vacant room with copies of all the books he recommended and promised to read with you - but never fulfilled doing so - it kind of backfired on you. and now you're wrapped around his muscled arms, beside him in his supposedly cozy, yet suffocating bed, his hair pricking the skin of your sweaty forehead, damp from the sheer heat - despite the air-conditioning - because he straight up refuses to give you space. if you just lean back a little more, then you could almost feel the tremor of his voice narrating the entire story, the warmth of his breath hitting against the nape of your neck.
for a book so lighthearted, all you could feel was the heaviness of your heart.
unlike dick and jason, you never once spent a moment with tim. that in itself is what made him motivated to learn all about you on a more personal level. in his eyes, (or rather, through his delusional reasonings), he reckoned that because he never once had any memories with you— your hatred towards him would be the least harrowing thing to deal with. he's always been a mystery to you, you've been a mystery to him, too. through your empty texts with him, entries spanning from not even knowing anything about him at all; he figured that now's the chance to take you away in the least expected moments, cauterize his words with promises for escape from other more smothering members of the family. unlike the others, since he's never once had personal moments with you, he knows your objective prefences, your boundaries and what makes you tick.
"ah, (name)... mind moving your hand to the left? yeah, that's way better." yet despite the fact that you have more freedom when you spend time with him, doesn't mean that he'll spare you the space of being alone when he's just like all the others still: obsessively taking note of every little movement, swooning in secret with a small quirk in your lips, kissing his teeth when he's exceptionally pleased the more your emotions are vividly displayed in front of him. except now that you willingly chose to be his model - you're unaware that he plasters the polaroid's all over his own version of a diary mirroring yours... - for just a moment of respite from the other's overbearing physical affection, it doesn't mean that tim isn't an obstacle himself; he just... knows you more than you know him, more than you know anybody else actually.
in fact, the longer his cryptic stare is pinned only on you, the more you notice how he never really takes his eyes off of you for more than a second.
"who says it's your turn to be with my sibling, todd?" your youngest brother, the one who you unwillingly spent the most time with. your tormentor, the one who you almost despised. damian hates it when you smother him with hints that you're closer to anybody else but him. he hates it when his older sibling generally spends more time with others. and although he's countlessly apologized to you, you never quite find it in your heart to fully grasp his sorry's. even if he offers you friendship bracelets, emerald green stones matching the shade of your favorite ones, whilst looking away with a puff in his cheeks— you just can't see him in a different light anymore; constantly reminding him of the threats he threw your way back them, shoving papers upon papers stained with salty tears and smudged ink; all piled with texts ranting about your endless pain because of him.
but just like dick, your youngest brother just sees it as your stubborn way of calling out his name. he may look like he bites, and yes he does bite, but not at you, never at you. at least, not anymore— but to everybody else who threatens his so-called precious bonding time with his older sibling. weirdly enough, despite his smaller frame, he's the most suffocating, the one whose hold on your body tightens just a bit more every time you move away from him. he's arguably the most possessive, the one who'll fight tooth and nail just because he wants you, his older sibling, to be his beloved muse for a portrait he imagined.
as much as he tormented you in the past, you can never deny how his life centered on you as much as it did now.
lastly, bruce, your father, a figure that was never there, just a silhouette to you. and even until now he still is. you can't comprehend his care, a type of fatherly love you never felt all those years ago. after all this time, you're more petty now than you were in the past; sticking picture frames of you and alfred spending memories where it's supposed to be you two, in hallways you know he frequents. it hurts him, it truly does pain him every time you look at him distantly. but he knows patience is the key, even though guilt devours him at every passing glance— he still loves you so. he should've shown his care early on, but what can he do now that it's too late?
"(name)," he calls your name all too fondly, accurately even — like he's practiced calling your name every night, afraid you'll be gone in his arms — and for a moment, you can almost hear him mouthing the endearing term 'dear' under his breath. as the world's greatest detective, the first thing he does is wanting to entertain the sick idea of reenacting the memories plastered all over those picture frames. just to make the regret lighter, to find a reason to be closer to you than he already makes himself out to be. don't mistake him, he's grateful that alfred was always there to aid you, but he's your father, first and foremost, and just because he missed those birthdays, that graduation, your prom and so much more— it doesn't mean there's no more room for him to still spend time with his beloved child, no? he'll find a valid, yet almost desperate excuse every time; to make a grander celebration. your missed birthdays will be replaced with countless vacations, your graduation picture smiling together with alfred nailed right at the front of his door will soon be a frame with you and the rest of the family. he'll find a way for you to never write those wretched entries about them anymore— he swears, with all his heart, you'll love him as much as he loves you.
and maybe, just maybe, you should've never presented your bare heart in front of them so willingly after all.
a/n: leave comments because why not lmao. idk half of what i wrote here but i'm back to answering asks and anon, i hope you like this because i used your ask to make a drabble 😁 this is the batfam after they become yanderes and how they enact upon their obsessions so ykyk. again, i forgot whatever i've written here.
#🌷... yael's works#🧁... yael's misc.#series: again & again#yandere batfam#yandere batfamily#yandere batfam x reader#yandere batfam x neglected reader#yandere batfamily x reader#yandere batboys#yandere batman#yandere bruce wayne#yandere dick grayson#yandere jason todd#yandere tim drake#yandere damian wayne#platonic yandere#yandere dc comics#yandere dc x reader#yandere dc#yandere x reader#yandere#yandere x you#yandere x y/n#yandere x gn reader#yandere x male reader#yandere x darling#soft yandere#yandere scenarios#yandere headcanons
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☆ Arthur Morgan Headcanons! (Modern)
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☆ I could definitely see him working a blue-collar job tbh, like a mechanic or something. Either that or something involving animals/nature, like a park ranger!!
☆ I could see him liking a lot of older music, not necessarily from his childhood (which, in this case, he'd be a 90s kid) though he definitely does like some 90s music, but I could see him liking 70s music, specifically rock. I could also definitely see him liking folk music (for obvious reasons lol)
☆ The only indication that an account belongs to him on social media is that he makes the "nickname" or whatever its called his full name. Everything else is blank. No posts, no profile picture, username is something like "user192829201010". Literally does not gaf 😭 is rarely on social media too, so if you sent him a video it would take him DAYS to see it. You're better off just showing it to him irl.
☆ Victim of single man decor. His house is so plain looking it's kind of sad. Has a couple of decorations here and there, like pictures in frames and a couple of trinkets, but the house is mostly empty.
☆ Drives a pickup truck. Either red or blue, I don't make the rules.
☆ Smokes so many cigarettes, but lowk judges people for vaping 😭
☆ When out with friends, he'll drink but rarely get drunk. Mainly because he's able to stomach an ungodly amount of alcohol, making getting drunk unintentionally next to near impossible (Keep in mind I don't know how much alcohol is a lot, because I don't drink lmao)
☆ His phone is so bright, it's literally blinding. Also he got it for like $50 and it's a brand no one has ever even heard of.
☆ Absolutely a dog person. Has 2 dogs, something big but friendly like a golden retriever and then a tiny satan spawn named "princess" or something 😭. It's like 100 years old and bullies the bigger dog.
☆ Loves playing pool or darts on nights out with friends.
☆ Replies with 👍 to every. single. text. Either that or like a grammatically correct reply, fully punctuated and all.
☆ REFUSES to get therapy, even though he very clearly needs it. (Assuming his childhood went the same way as in canon, aside from his dad getting hung because obviously no one's getting hung over theft/larceny nowadays.) Thinks it'll do him no good.
☆ Assuming his father is still alive, I don't think he'd go no contact with him, but they'd definitely have a strained relationship. Not to say Arthur doesn't love him, he does, despite everything.
☆ Would probably have tattoos, to be honest. I could definitely him having a sleeve.
☆ I seen someone else say this but he would watch Judge Judy. That is so funny to me. I don't know why.
☆ Is bisexual, but that doesn't click with him. Just assumes everyone else feels the same way about the same gender because he has a preference for women, which "makes him straight" (Projecting heavily here)
I love Author wish he was reel 💔
#rdr2#red dead 2#rdr2 modern au#red dead redemption 2#arthur morgan#lovelybugsworld#lovelybugsworld headcanons#headcanons#rambling#screaming into the void#pulling my hair out#why isnt he real#WHY#oh arthur
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✨️You know what I can't stop thinking about? 👯🏽
Now, hear me out: a tall MC (like 6'3") in heels who knows how to use a whip and is performing burlesque (the strip tease kind) for the LADS MLs...
WARNING: MDNI/ Ageless Bios DNI Suggestive content, Poly LADs (slightly), GN reader (despite the example, it's just a rough visual) & Unbated writing!!
Here is a rough sketch of the idea and a few references:
Stay with me here!! Let me cook, PLEASE!!
What I'm thinking is that you, as the MC, play the ringmaster role in the show. You present the performances and keep the audience occupied. During this time, you're in a full ringmaster suit (think the reference at the top right of the picture), and it hugs the frame. It looks amazing, but it's rather modest compared to the other performers. That is, until it's your turn to perform, and BOOM!!! COSTUME CHANGE!!
(aka the messy sketch above)
The guys are in the audience either sitting together or apart (depends on if you like poly LADS or not) and they have front-row seats to your strip tease performance, that they knew nothing about, with a whip.
Rafayel 🧜♂️
His face is beat red but he can't look away.
Questioning if he's really as dominant as he claims to be (he'll never admit it)
If you interact with him with the whip or anything else, he will definitely jizzed in his pants or almost.
Bro literally has to try and waddle to the bathroom without getting caught.
If you believe in Poly LADS, Sylus is helping him get to the bathroom while teasing the shit out of him.
He's acting like he doesn't have to go the restroom for the same reason 🙄
Don't expect him to ask for it though. Oh no no no.
In my opinion, this lil shit will turn the brat up to 100, till you get the memo and jump him.
It doesn't take long since you can read him like a book in the bedroom.
Sylus 🐉
Very much into this
The man already has 20 varieties of whips on his wishlist, ready to be shipped at your say.
His blush isn't as prominent but it's there, he isn't ashamed of it tho.
If you interact with him during the performance, he'll try to hide how excited he is with his smugness but you can tell.
That man is vibrating in his seat like a rose toy on a Friday night.
Oh, he's definitely adding a few straps to that list.
And we're not talking about weapons here.
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(I think I'm so funny)
By the time you guys get home Sylus already has a new kink sheet written up.
And by the end of the week, they're several new, ahem, 'toys' for you two to experiment with. To experiment on him specifically.
Caleb 🛬
Now I'm still unsure about how to write this man but I know a pathetic man whore when I see one (given he's only a whore for MC but I digress)
Is a lot like Sylus but is just as surprised as Rafayel.
This has got to be the one thing he didn't know about you and that catches him way off guard.
But like I said, the man is not opposed to it.
His imagination is already going wild with all kinds of fantasies.
Lowkey tapping into his inner dog boy.
He is the first to get on his knees and beg. Prove me wrong, you can't!
If you interact with him during the performance, he actively leans into it like a man in a daze.
You can practically see heart eyes on his stupid goofy face. Dumbass is drunk on your presence.
Think of those love scenes in those Loney Tunes cartoons.
My point is the minute you pull away, he nearly falls out of his seat.
And if he's there with any of his academy friends, like Gideon, he's never living that shit down.
If you like Poly Lads Zayne has to pull that idiot back so he doesn't plant face-first on the floor.
Speaking of the responsible doctor-
Zayne ❄️
In all, he's quite impressed by the show and your part as the showman.
of course, he shows that in his own stoic, Zayney way. Calm, composed with his little micro smiles.
Ya, all of that is thrown out the window the minute your strip tease starts.
I saw someone say that they think Zayne's evol gets a little out of control when he's feeling strong emotions... ya, it gets chilly in there.
Like no joke, it starts to snow a little during your performance and you use it to your advantage.
When you're interacting with him during your performance, his ears go beat red.
Zayne isn't sure if he'll pass out from shock or lack of blood flow to his brain first.
While the show is winding down and everyone's giving their applause, Zayne is left wondering how he's gonna get out of here without signaling his "problem" to the entire room.
He's glad he brought a coat today.
Xavier ✨️
Like Caleb, I'm still unsure about how to write Our Little Prince but ill try my best.
To be quite frank, if the situation doesn't involve you, meat, space (or the other MLs) he's falling asleep.
So any performance that doesn't involve you, he's conked out. Either with his head on the table or on Rafayel's shoulder (StarFish supremacy!!).
However, when your performance comes up, he's definitely at attention (in more ways than one)
You know what I said about evols getting out of control because of strong emotion?
Ya if you so much as insinuate anything his way during your act, let alone touch him, Xavi is lighting up like a BTS bobble light (don't @ me ok).
While he's waiting for you after the show, you find him doing some research about BDSM. Specifically submission.
Expect to Dom for the next month.
In all, they're all gettin pegged at the end of the day. Even Zayne is considering it.
Buuut that's all for now. Sorry if my mad rambles are a bit illegible, I just needed to get this idea out 😅
Lemme know if I should continue this idea and write a, kind of, part 2 because I forgot to add how MCs height plays into this 🤔
Oh well~
-Sincerly Professor Boob
Dividers Credits: @cafekitsune Sketch: Me
#love and deepspace#l&ds#lnds#love and deepspace x reader#lads x reader#lads mc#lads xavier#lads rafayel#lads sylus#lads caleb#lads zayne#art wip#lads art#gn mc#burlesque#my mad ramblings#i need a whip to be a weapon
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Picture this: it’s 1837, Paris is buzzing with artists, dreamers, and the faint aroma of fresh baguettes wafting through cobblestone streets. In the midst of this creative whirlwind, a German-born painter named Henri Lehmann puts brush to canvas and conjures up Woman of the "Orient". It’s not just a painting—it’s a portal to another world, a snapshot of Romanticism with a twist of exotic allure. If you haven’t heard of this gem before, buckle up, because I’m about to take you on a little art history adventure that’s equal parts fascinating and fun.
Let’s start with the man himself. Henri Lehmann wasn’t your average painter. Born in 1814 in Kiel, a chilly corner of what was then the Duchy of Holstein, he didn’t exactly grow up surrounded by the glitz of Paris. His dad, Leo, was an artist too, so you could say painting was in his blood. But at 17, young Henri packed his bags and headed to the City of Light to study under the legendary Jean Auguste Dominique Ingres. If that name rings a bell, it’s because Ingres was the guy for neoclassical precision���think crisp lines, flawless forms, and a knack for making every figure look like they just stepped out of a myth. Lehmann soaked it all up, becoming one of Ingres’ star pupils. By 1837, he was ready to make his mark, and Woman of the "Orient" was one of his early flexes.
So, what’s the painting all about? Imagine a woman lounging gracefully, her dark hair cascading in braids, framed by a sheer, golden veil that catches the light just so. She’s draped in a dress that’s a feast for the eyes—white bodice with delicate gold trim, a skirt bursting with aquamarine blues and golden vines that practically dance across the fabric. One knee is raised, her hands resting casually, like she’s got all the time in the world. Behind her, a dreamy horizon fades from misty peach to deep topaz blue, with a strip of pale water shimmering in the distance. It’s signed in the corner: “HEINRICH.LEHMANN 1837 PARIS.” Simple, bold, and dripping with confidence.
But here’s where it gets juicy. The “Orient” wasn’t a real place—at least, not in the way we think of geography today. Back in the 19th century, it was this hazy, romanticized idea of the East—think Middle East, North Africa, maybe a dash of Asia—filtered through the imagination of European artists. It was exotic, mysterious, and a little dangerous, the perfect playground for painters like Lehmann to flex their creativity. Was this woman a real person he met? A muse from his travels? Or just a daydream born from the Parisian obsession with all things “other”? We don’t know for sure, and that’s part of the magic. She’s a story waiting to be told, and Lehmann leaves us to fill in the blanks.
The painting itself is a masterclass in Romanticism meets Neoclassicism. You’ve got the clean, elegant lines of Ingres’ influence—every fold of her dress is deliberate, every curve intentional. But there’s also this lush, emotional vibe that screams Romanticism: the vivid colors, the far-off gaze, the sense that she’s more than just a portrait—she’s a feeling. Lehmann was only 23 when he painted this, which blows my mind. At 23, I was still figuring out how to make ramen without burning the kitchen down, and this guy was out here creating timeless art.
Fast forward a bit, and Lehmann’s career only got wilder. He stuck around Paris, bounced to Rome for a stint (where he painted alongside Ingres and even rubbed elbows with Franz Liszt—yes, that Liszt), and eventually became a big deal. Medals at the Paris Salon, massive murals in places like the Palais de Justice, portraits of everyone from Chopin to Stendhal—he was the real deal. By the time he died in 1882, he’d left behind a legacy that’s still popping up in museums like the National Gallery of Art, where Woman of the "Orient" lives today.
So why should you care about this painting? For one, it’s gorgeous—seriously, Google it and treat your eyes to something special. But more than that, it’s a window into a time when the world felt bigger, stranger, and full of possibilities. It’s a reminder that art isn’t just about what’s on the canvas—it’s about the stories, the vibes, and the questions that linger long after you’ve walked away. Next time you’re scrolling through life, take a second to think about Lehmann’s mystery woman. Who was she? What was she dreaming about? And how did a kid from Kiel end up painting her into immortality?
If you’re ever near the National Gallery of Art, swing by and say hi to her. Tell her I sent you. And if you’ve got your own theories about her story, drop them in the comments—I’m dying to hear what you think!
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High Risk, Low Reward
I legit was dragging out the smut. In my defense I said it would be a slow burn so 👀🥴
But as you stood in the shower, soaked completely through with Joker cornering you into the wall, well, you felt like the crazy one for not believing it was possible.
Anything is possible when Chaos is the author.
You planned on being his human crutch while he showered but knowing Joker, anything could happen. The possibility of this going south had your hands shaking like a leaf. You needed a distraction.
The possibilities are endless. What could possibly happen in a shower? 😏
He saw inmates stabbed over common bar soap before. As long as it cleaned him up, what was the big deal on how it smelled? And how come yours was in a bottle?
Our poor baby doesn’t even know liquid soap exists! I love how upset he is. J really is just waiting for his shower like…
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The ceiling here was also painted with the moon and stars with spotlights installed as the only source of light. The walls were darker than black holes with a faint shimmer of opal. As a whole, the room wasn't gothic in appearance.
Can I take a moment to say I popped off describing Y/n’s secret bathroom? I can picture it in my head and it’s just luxurious and dark.
“Hey.. aren't you going to wash your face?" You gestured to your own while leaning on the console sink. Joker huffed, as if his answer was obvious. "Uh no. NoT in front of you."
Soon. Y/n, soon. Just be a little more patient. 🤧
“Sure. Let's get naked." Joker exhaled with a grin of his own.
His zipper echoed sharply in the bathroom sounding way too provocative given the situation. Your mind was racing as blood rushed in your ears. Suddenly the picture frames on the wall were very interesting.....
So what if Joker was butt naked in your shower and letting out some very suggestive groans as the hot water worked its magic on his weary muscles. This was by far the worst idea you ever had.
No, no this the best idea you ever had. 👏🏾👏🏾
Water dripped down Joker's back in sinful patterns and you followed a bead down his spine until it disappeared past the danger zone. It had to be illegal to be this hot. Each flex of his arms was like a moving piece of art for your eyes only. You were beyond speechless.
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“See somethin' ya like, Y/n?" That smirk of his was pure sin. You nodded mutely and instantly regretted it.
WAIT WAIT ABORT ABORT!!!! He doesn’t need to know this information!! 😰😰😰😰😰😰😰😰😰👀
“You think I'm wet enough, Y/n?" Joker shot over his shoulder, smirking.
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All you received was a content little hum. It was raw and soft on the ears. Comforting. It spelled trouble for your heart.
The word play, I swear. This stuff carries itself.
The thought of 'what would kissing him feel like?' flashed across your mind. 'I want to know.' The confession echoed loudly inside your head. It both empowered and terrified you. It was time to stop denying it. You were screwed, but you needed to know.
Joker's eyes roamed the entirety of your face, memorizing every blemish, the faint flush across the bridge of your nose, down to the swirling colors within your eyes he was beginning to love..
Love? 👀
He punched the wall, cracking a few tiles here and there, but his anger remained. He was so close! It seemed like every chance he got to try and kiss you, fate had to intervene.
“Try to make a deal or even better, start a fling with a screenwriter. At this point, trashy press is still press and you need all the attention you can get."
I would hate for any tabloids or paparazzi to pick up a story about Y/n’s rendezvous with a mysterious lover. 👀 trashy press is still press right? 😏
You backed away from the door in fear. Until now, you only saw a domestic side of Joker. Sure he threatened you a few times, but he didn't display any of his more violent tendencies during his stay with you.
for a minute there Y/n forgot who Joker was. A little reminder is good for the plot every now and then.
You couldn't trust the devil personified and you definitely shouldn't make friends with him either.
But we’re gonna do it anyway 🥴
He was used to being tortured by seasoned cops, wardens, the criminally insane, even Batman himself. What were you gonna do?
Wait for it…
Joker blinked, shifted, and resisted the urge to look away but your eyes were hypnotic– using unnatural powers against him. He folded faster than he'd like to admit.
Got ‘em! 🤣🤣🤣 he really thought!
He didn't want to be iced out, not again. He didn't like the emptiness your absence left behind. This was all new and confusing to him and you weren't helping him understand any of it!
Ya boy is going thru it you hear me? He really struggling with his unknown feelings THIS early in the game!! Joker is just doing stuff and hoping he’s in your good graces 🤣
His Lighthouse Re-Read Thread
Hey hi my loves!!! I've read my own story 14 million times but I never did an official reread thread so thank @jaysmentalspace for what's about to happen! 🖤✨
This will be an interactive thread. Yes, you can join in with your own comments, reblogs, whatever! I will start from chapter one and I guess, review/commentate my own story! I hope you enjoy the ride. There's gonna be fun facts, behind the scenes commentary, who knows. 🤷🏾♀️
His Lighthouse masterlist let's get started.
#his lighthouse reread#reread thread#his lighthouse#joker x black!reader#joker x reader#joker x y/n#joker x you#ledger joker x black!reader#heath ledger joker x reader#heath ledger joker x black!reader#ledger joker x reader#dark knight joker x reader#dark knight joker#ledger!joker#ledger joker#joker fanfic#joker fanfiction#heath joker#dc joker#reader insert#chaos universe
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I just think, the idea that Disha is lying about Kyoshi's honor and stuff to put some kind of wedge between Roku and Kyoshi would be really cool and spy-y and would fit really well with the weird Cold War-eque/espionage that Roku's era seems to want to emulate. It'd be a cool way of making him doubt himself without realizing he's doubting himself.
And it'd also force a parallel between Roku/Kyoshi and Kyoshi/Kuruk. How, while Kuruk appeared in RoK and Kyoshi didn't have the best opinion of him, really ramped up in her sequel novel to the point she wanted to fucking brawl him. The way it's set up now, Roku's timidness and confusion with Kyoshi could easily fester into the same hatred and want to confront her in Roku's sequel novel too.
And I'm also just grasping at straws but I just really fucking hate how RR is trying to drag Kyoshi through the gd mud. And like it just doesn't work with the knowledge we already know about her and he could've done something (anything really, he didn't utilize her at all) else with her character in Rokus era that would've better explored... and I'm also a bit of a bitter bitch about it. tbh
#no I just think the way the picture is framed is how i feel#less I want to use the meme as intended and more 'i'm vibbing with the FEEL of the picture despite what the meme is suppose to mean TT0TT#'silly are you saying you are saying something controversial yet brave#reckoning of roku#disha#kyoshi#rise of kyoshi#shadow of kyoshi#roku salt#chronicles of the avatar#i think roku's era is emulating a cold war of sorts....I don't really care tbh TT0TT#i think most of that info is in the RPG table top game and....I'm not verse in that tbh#i only have crumbs to work with#but i'm going to make the spiciest meal out of those crumbs#a mountain out of a mole hill energy if you will#i do not trust RR to do something this intricate#his writing did NOT inspire confidence in me TT0TT#i have like 18 topics about this damn thing it lives rent free in my head and I NEED IT TO START PAYING
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movie sonadow would be so l umity-coded…and i say this bc their dynamic is similar to the games but with a different and tender perspective: they both empathize deeply with each other now, and this shadow is not as reticent or closed off bc of that. that being said: movie!sonic would ABSOLUTELY 'YOU'RE the sweet potato!' the hell out of shadow
#i say l umity bc they're my fave yardstick for romantic relationship progression#between two characters who're barely just starting to know themselves let alone their feelings#and bc they're cute. and i have been thinking abt (made sleepless over‚ really) sonic being SO ecstatic to find shadow alive#i just see movie!sonic being more physically affectionate n movie!shadow (w the both of them having already seen each other at their worst)#feeling less of a need to put up a front. not much to hide from the guy you pleaded with to kill you on the moon yk?#speeds over‚ loops his arms and spins him 'round#he would be SO excited to show shadow fun earth stuff#and on a deeper level‚ i think a liiiiiittle bit of it'd be projection#he knows their situations aren't the same. but yet again‚ here's another hedgehog in a strange new world#and he wants to give him everything he wished he'd had when he arrived#so he shows him crappy reality tv and new kinds of foods and other kinds of constellations‚#the proper way to give a fist bump (bc shadow was going to genuinely punch him and he had to explain)‚ and books from the library#they get more movies. sonic teaches him how to play mario kart. he knux and tails induct him into their baseball games#and sonic is delighted to find they have the same problem of hitting the ball Way Too Hard#he answers every question shadow has to the best of his ability#and like. the Main Thought that's been plaguing me is that one day he gets shadow a picture frame#and - idk how sonic got it‚ just roll with it - sonic reveals the picture of shadow and maria#and explains that tom had that section of his old cave‚ the one w the picture of longclaw excavated and preserved#and he doesn't know how tom did it‚ but now she's in his new home too. he doesn't have to leave her behind just bc he found somewhere new#basically trying to show him that it's okay to grieve and to KEEP grieving. that just bc you've been understood‚ that love goes away.#but yeah. they drive me nuts#sonadow#sonic movie 3 spoilers#sth
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I was joking a while back that the actor they have playing KDJ for the orv movie was too handsome for him and a friend who's read orv was like "KDJ is actually secretly attractive!!" And I just felt my soul leave my body right then
SIGHS...
Okay. Buckle in. I'm gonna finally actually address and explain and theorize about this whole...thing.
I'm not gonna cite any exact chapters cause it's like 11:30 and I've got an 8 hour drive in the morning but I'll at least make an approximate reference to where certain things are mentioned. Also, this post is just my personal interpretation for a good bit of it, but it's an interpretation I feel very solid about, so do with that what you will. Moving on to the meat of things:
There is one (1) instance in the web novel that I know of which describes specific features of Kim Dokja (especially ones other people notice). This takes place when members of KimCom are trying to make Kim Dokja presentable to give his speech at the Industrial Complex (after it's been plopped down on Earth). This is when they start really paying attention and focusing on Kim Dokja's appearance since they're putting makeup on him; I still don't think they can interpret his whole face, but they can accurately pick out and retain more features than usual. If I remember correctly they reference him having long eyelashes, smooth skin, and soft hair. These features can be viewed as (stereotypically) attractive.
Certain parts of the fandom have taken this scene and run with it at a very surface level, without realizing (or without acknowledging at the very least) that this scene is not about how Kim Dokja looks. This is, in part, due to not realizing or acknowledging why Kim Dokja's face is "censored" in the first place, and what that censoring actually means. I think it's also possible that some people are assuming the censorship works like a physical phenomena rather than an altered perception.
I'll address that last point first. The censorship of Kim Dokja's features is not something as simple as a physical phenomena. It's not a bar or scribble or mosaic over his face. If that were true it'd be very obvious to anyone looking at him that his face is hidden. But his face is not hidden to people. They can look at him and see a face. If they concentrate on his eyes, they can see where he's looking. They know when he's frowning or grinning. They see a face loud and clear. But what face are they seeing? Because it's not really his, whatever they're seeing.
No one quite agrees on what he really looks like. And if they try and think about what he looks like, they can't recall. Or if they do, it's vague, or different each time. We notice these little details throughout the series. Basically, Kim Dokja's face is cognitively obscured. Something - likely the Fourth Wall, though I can't recall if this is ever stated outright - is interfering with everyone's ability to perceive him properly. This culminated in him feeling off to others; and since they don't even realize this is happening, they surmise that he is "ugly."
Moving on to the other point about what the censorship means: To be blunt, the censorship of his face is an allegory for his disconnect from the "story" (aka: real life, and the real people at his side). The lifting - however slight - of this censorship represents him becoming more and more a part of the "story" (aka: less disconnected from the life he is living and the people at his side). The censorship's existence and lifting can represent other things - like dissociation or depersonalization or, if you want to get really meta, the fact that he is all of our faces at once - but that's how I'd sum up the main premise of it. (The Fourth Wall is a larger part of the dissociation allegory, but that's for another post).
So you see, them noticing his individual features isn't about the features. It's not about the features! It doesn't matter at all which features got listed. Because they could describe any features whatsoever and it would not change the entire point of the scene. Because the point isn't what he looks like. The point is that they can truly and clearly see these features. For the first time. They are seeing parts of him for the first time. Re-read that sentence multiple times, literally and metaphorically. What does it mean to see someone as they are?
This is an extremely significant turning point dressed up as a dress-up scene.
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P.S. / Additionally, I'm of the opinion that Kim Dokja is not handsome, and he is not ugly. He is not pretty, and he is not ghastly. Not attractive, nor unattractive. Kim Dokja isn't any of these things. More importantly, Kim Dokja can't be any of these things. The entire point of Kim Dokja is that you cannot pick him out of a crowd; he is the crowd. He's a reader. He's the reader. Why does he need to be handsome? Why must he be pretty? Why is him being attractive necessary or relevant? He doesn't, he doesn't, it's not. He is someone deeply deeply loved and irreplaceable to those around him, and someone who cannot even begin to recognize or accept that unless it's through a love letter masquerading as a story he can read. He is the crowd, a reader, the reader. He's you, he's me. He's every single one of us.
#orv#orv analysis#orv meta#orv spoilers#beso babbles#inbox#there's also the meta that he is described with these (stereotypically) pretty features as they are about to try and 'sell' him to a crowd#which feels to me like a very pointed way to convey how 'beauty' is commodified. how audiences like 'attractive' characters more#note: made some edits to add in a couple of sentences my brain forgot in the moment so make sure u reblogged those if u do#tag edits for further commentary that isnt strictly relevant to the point i was making:#do i think that this face censorship was executed as well as it could have been? nah.#not that it was like. done Badly. it's followed through to a certain point. its established enough for me to make this post at least.#but i do think it is the one thing in the web novel that SS didn't capitalize on.#like. they still stuck the landing but it was not as picture perfect of an execution as the rest of the metaphorical stuff in orv#also. this (not the face censorship specifically but the 'hes just some guy' point of it all) is one of the big reasons i think that-#-visual adaptions of orv can never quite work. they can do the best that they can with that medium but a lot of nuance is lost-#-simply by virtue of it being a visual medium#i personally think the only way a visual medium could work would be one where they commit to the power move of not showing kdj's face#(until a certain point (of view) that is)#his face is always facing away or out of frame or hidden by someone or something else in the way#commit to the fucking allegory or simply perish
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Cate sat propped against the headboard, the warmth of the coffee mug seeping into her palms as she cradled it, her blue eyes fixed on Jenna with a mixture of gratitude and relief for seeing her next to her. The husky tone in Jenna’s voice, the gentle teasing made Cate smile, there was certain feeling of easiness knowing she was there. The blonde smiled despite the heaviness still accumulated in her chest. She felt the brush of Jenna’s fingers against her own, the quiet reassurance of her touch, and it made her shiver slightly, pulling her back from the edge of the fear that had haunted her sleep—that she’d wake to an empty bed, to a silence that meant goodbye. When Jenna sat up, Cate’s gaze followed her, tracing the familiar lines of her frame as she moved. Her confession—that she’d needed space but had always intended to return—eased a knot in Cate’s stomach she hadn’t realized was there. She nodded faintly, her fingers tightening around the mug as Jenna kept talked, Cate didn´t even dare to breathe and interrupt Jenna´s thoughts that were being expressed with all honestly and Cate wanted to hear everything attentively and understand and admit her own mistakes. Cate’s throat ache. She watched her girlfriend’s expressions and how she was caught off guard in the most unexpected and almost cruel way.
Every word sinking in with a clarity that cut through the haze of the previous night. Jenna’s honesty—the hurt, the vulnerability, the way she laid her heart bare—Cate felt the sting of guilt anew, knowing she’d made Jenna question her place, her significance, in a moment that should have been shared, not stumbled into. Her eyes dropped to the mug in her hands, her thumb tracing the rim as Jenna’s words washed over her. The australian could draw in her head too many scenarios but when Jenna finally said that she wasn’t going anywhere, that she’d stay, that she’d help—unraveled the last of Cate’s defenses. Cate´s eyes widened and looked up to her, she pressed her lips together trying to contain the emotions that began flowing and the relief that made her remember how to breath properly. Cate squeezed her hand, firmly, feeling how tears were about to run down her cheeks.
She set her mug on the bedside table with a shaky hand, turning fully to face Jenna, her expression open, unguarded. “I’m so sorry” she began, her voice low and thick with emotion. “Not just for how it came out, but for making you feel like an afterthought. You’re not—you never could be. You’re everything to me, Jenna, and I should’ve trusted that instead of letting fear choke it all up inside me but at the same time, I felt guilty, because this was a plan that started with someone else, and then, when I finally had you, when we finally started this... I felt the greatest thing and the idea of losing it paralized me” She swallowed hard, her hand tightening around Jenna’s in return. “I’ve been thinking about this little girl for months—before we were official, I didn´t even know this would happen, i started the process almost two years ago, and suddenly, she was mine, without even know i still wanted it. something I didn’t even dare say out loud but it was happening. She’s two, and she’s… she’s this tiny, brave thing who’s already been through so much. I saw her picture, and it was like something clicked—I knew she was mine. I couldn´t steal away the opportunity of a better life with me, with my children, with you” she softened her voice when she included Jenna in the equation. Cate’s lips curved into a small, tremulous smile, her eyes bright with a mix of nerves and joy. “It’s happening soon—it was planned for next month, but apparently, they will let me take her with me sooner than we thought, I’ve been meeting with the agency, sorting out the paperwork, getting her room ready… God, I’ve wanted to tell you so badly, but every time I tried, I’d look at you and think, ‘What if this is too much? What if I scare her away?’ She shook her head, “I was an idiot. I should’ve known you’d be here, but, darling I didn´t know if you’d… that you’d want to be part of it because I know how crazy this is! my children think i am insane, my mom thinks the same. They are the only ones to know and now you, my love, my partner, my everything” she whispered and she leaned forward then, resting her forehead against Jenna’s, her breath mingling with hers in the quiet space between them. “I want you in this, Jenna—every step. I want us to figure it out together, to make it ours if you’ll have it. Vivienne is going to need so much love, and I´d love you to meet her soon, and help me to bring her home, I named her Vivienne..." Her voice broke slightly, but she pressed on, her hand sliding up to cup Jenna’s cheek. “and i promise you are going to fall in love with her" she said with her voice cracking and still against Jenna´s forehead. She closed her eyes and softly whispered "Thank you… for staying, for listening, for not letting me ruin this. I love you—more than I know how to say.” Cate pulled back just enough to meet Jenna’s eyes, her own shimmering with unshed tears "I love you"
A tired grin hovered on Jenna’s lips as she heard the husk of Cate’s voice; there was comfort in it. She let her fingers trail over the ones caressing her arm. “kinda reminds me exactly why I don’t usually mix drinks,” she lightly joked, her gaze semi-defeated but never moving her attention away. Jenna bit her lip and sat up against the headboard, the sheet slipping slightly from her shoulder. Despite the shift, their closeness remained intact.
She didn’t know whether to be saddened by the sheer idea that the blonde had an inkling she’d wake up in an empty bed, wake up to the fear that Jenna had left. “Hey—” Jenna’s brows furrowed as she reached out, her hand landing over Cate’s lap in a gesture of comfort. She knew that despite leaving reassurance, it never entirely registered. “I just needed to let us both think straight—something I know neither of us could’ve done last night had i not given you the space. But not for a second was I ever not going to come back.” as her frown still remained, she let the sighing breath ease her hand away as she moved up from the edge of the bed and over by the coffee machine Jenna pushed back the covers, stretching before swinging her legs over the edge of the bed. “I’m making us both coffee first, okay?” she said, her tone light, but the undercurrent of exhaustion still lingered. “Normally, I’d rather drink tap water than hotel coffee, but even I have to humble myself sometimes.” She hummed, glancing over her shoulder at Cate, her expression soft and reassuring. A few minutes later, Jenna returned across the room, moving toward the bed with two mugs in hand. She handed one to Cate, offering a small, reassuring smile. “le voici, bébé,” she murmured, pressing her lips together before settling back against the headboard, legs folded beneath her. Jenna exhaled softly, keeping a firm grip on her cup as she blew on the surface before taking a sip. “So—before you say anything, I want you to just listen,” she said, her tone steady but gentle. “I spent a lot of time thinking about this last night—about everything. And I think it’s best if you hear me out first." taking a beat, her face fell toward's the other woman She paused, gripping her cup a little tighter.
“I was hurt, Cate—I didn’t understand why I reacted the way I did at first. But then it dawned on me… it wasn’t that I thought you were putting responsibility on me. I know this is your decision, something i imagine you’ve wanted for a long time by the sounds of it . And I respect that. But the way it came out last night—it felt like an afterthought, like something casually thrown into the air instead of something we could actually talk about. It made me wonder where I fit into all of this.” She took a slow breath, her gaze steady now. “Because if this is going to work, Cate, I need to feel like I matter in your life—not just when it’s convenient, but in the moments that truly shape it.” It was known that Jenna disliked confrontations of any sort, but this didn’t entirely feel like she was comforting the blonde. It felt like she was placing her heart right in front of her — showing her that vulnerability didn’t have to be a risk, that it could still come with safety. "so, then I wondered between all that... how would I have reacted had you told me without the tension, or the liquid courage? Would I have still been shocked? Confused? Of course. But I imagine it would’ve been different. It would’ve just taken listening—listening to your reasoning, knowing a lot of this was already in process… I imagine, before we were officially a thing? I know adoptions don’t just happen overnight —— But not for one second would I ever make you choose. That wouldn’t even cross my mind. But I know you, and I know why that worry line between your brows is there.” Jenna’s tone lightened as she pointed it out, offering a small, knowing smile. "You and I, we're in this very fortunate position in life where I know the idea of you bringing this little girl into your life is something you want deeply, knowing you can. But you know, despite the unfortunate way I had to find out, I'm not going anywhere. I'm here, and I'm staying. And don't think for a second you're not allowed to ask me for help, 'cause newsflash, babe, I'm helping anyway." She reached toward Cate’s free hand, giving it a firm squeeze.As her other hand held the coffee she'd been sipping on, Jenna eventually placed it down on the dresser. "Now... say what you wish, but know I really want to know more about this. I want to know when, and I want to know every detail about this major part of your life."
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Going to the emergency vet with Helmer in half an hour, he seems to have a mass in his stomach and isn't feeling well. He is also having diarrhoea and pees a lot. Thought it was the warmer weather at first because he is known to have an upset stomach then, but the mass is concerning. Hoping this is going to be an expensive fart and not something life threatening, keeping my fingers crossed.
#even if it is a regular fart he's not feeling comfortable so going to the vet is a good decision either way I think#if it's just a fart I'm going to frame the bill I think#this will cost me at least 300 euro for just seeing the vet and pictures/echo#he's 10 years old so I'm worried about every little thing now especially after how it went with Pepper#but I can't influence what is going on with him only learn what it is#my pets#my dogs#helmer#tw animal illness
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This one goes out to all the bitches who love some good Safehouse Era Horror. It's me, I'm bitches. I want Jon and Martin to be fucked up and eldritch but I want them to be fucked up and eldritch and loved
(Notes under the cut because I can't help myself. Heads up, I do go into some detail of how Jon gets injured so I can explain my thought process for how I designed his scars. All canon-typical and fairly clinical in tone.)
Here's how I picture Safehouse Jon!
He doesn't need glasses anymore by this point, so he should just be wearing empty frames, but I drew this before I settled on my glasses headcanons. This drawing looks better with the reflection anyways.
He hasn't gotten a haircut since before his promotion to Head Archivist. He doesn't love the weight of it on his neck, but he also uses it to fidget, and he really doesn't want to go through the whole process of cutting it. He's disliked haircuts since he was a kid (People: Bad. Small talk: Bad. Touching: Bad. Loud sounds: Bad. People talking all at once: Bad) and since his time with the Circus he's only grown more reluctant to go and get it done.
At this length his hair is naturally pretty curly but he is. Not taking care of it. I actually put a lot of effort into trying to make it look brittle and tangled (I have a lot of experience lol, my hair is quite thick and I've always hated taking care of it. Yes I am also projecting my feelings about going to a hairdressers onto him why do you ask.)
The various scars were a bit of a strange task, but anyone who has seen my takes on The Bad Kids knows I'm not averse to selective realism in my fiction. Easiest one was the neck, I always pictured Daisy making a vertical cut based on "through the voice box". The larynx is longer than it is wide, so I think Daisy would go for the method that dealt damage across the largest total surface area. Yes I am aware that I'm speaking the same way Martin does when he explains his corkscrew.
The worm scars were easy because I barely drew any. There are a few marks on his cheek, but they're just surface bites. I picture most of his encounter with Prentiss showing on his legs, particularly on the right side, with enough damage there that he starts using a cane after the incident to keep weight off his right leg. More research to be done on this particular detail.
Finally the burn on his hand from Jude. This was the weirdest one to figure out just because of the nature of the injury. How do you quantify the damage done to an epidermis by a living manifestation of sometimes-boiling wax that can heat and cool at will? I settled on it being a second-degree burn that healed supernaturally fast, containing the damage to the space Jude had direct contact with. He'd probably have some mobility issues there as well. I know there are ways to help with mobility and pain after a severe burn, but I don't know how much of it Jon would actually. Do. Like I said, definitely further research to be done on these last two.
Hey so I'm gonna ask you to stop and consider the horror of the watcher. The helplessness. The guilt. The inherent terror of being a spectator, a participant by proximity but not by action. The horror of not being able to look away, of being a bystander. Jon forgets to blink sometimes. But wouldn't it be so much worse if there were no eyelids at all? That's how I interpret the description of The Archivist being "All Eyes" :D
I love a good Many-Eyed Jon, so I whipped up my own interpretation here. I think the more he Becomes the more he starts to resemble the thing from the dreams. He has a lot more control of it in S5, but it still creeps up on him and he has to consciously go back to a human shape.
#coffeepaintart#jonathan sims#jon sims#tma#the magnus archives#scopophobia#scopophobia tw#tw scopophobia#the archivist#tma fanart#tma art#if i need to tag any other tws or cws lmk
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NSFW
warning: slight corruption kink, yandere behavior, panty stealing, breeding kink, dubcon if you squint
EHEHEH thinking about yandere!angel who has never been hard before.
He sees you, such a pretty little human he’s meant to watch over. You’re so soft and plump, your body stirs something in his belly that he doesn’t completely understand.
And he sees you undressing one night, your form completely bare before his very eyes.
Angels always walk around in the nude, they aren’t ashamed of their bodies… so why does his cock start to twitch and harden?
He doesn’t understand, this has never happened before and the feeling is unbearable. Something in his body wants to be closer to you, to… connect with you.
The angel approaches your room, quiet as he opens your window and slides in with ease. He’s not sure what he should do, but he spots your discarded clothing.
It’s shameful, how he even thinks about stealing an item of your clothing. Your panties are your favorite color, lacy with a little bow on the front. He can spot a slight wetness there, and he starts to drool.
Why is his body reacting like this? His cheeks flush a crimson red as he flees your home, your underwear in his hand. He flies far away, as if trying to escape his new, lustful feelings.
He isolates himself in a small cave, slowly draping your panties over his throbbing cock. The feeling of your slick coated panties touching his tip made him hiss out in pleasure.
Of course, the angel had never masturbated before. He came within just a few strokes, but his cock was still so swollen. Every time he thought about your plush frame, his tip dribbled precum, and he couldn’t help but jerk off again.
It just wasn’t enough… soon he felt so sore, and his hands weren’t soft like yours, and he bet your lips or pussy would feel so much better…
He was your protector, wasn’t he? It made sense that he’d get to fuck his precious little cherub, his sweet girl, right?
Wouldn’t it be a blessing to put a baby in your belly?
Usually the angel had no trouble flying, but now he was trying his best to concentrate on getting to your home.
You spot him in the window, your eyes still bleary from sleep. He’s the picture of elegance, with long, flowing blonde hair and gorgeous dark eyes…
“Be not afraid, I am a messenger of god…” he panted, cheeks flushed pink. “You… have been chosen for something… great…”
He walked in, your curtain billowing around him as he stretched out and lightly clapped his snow-white wings.
His eyes were on your skimpy nightgown, and the way it barely covered your plush thighs.
“You’ve been chosen… to carry my child…”
Your plump thighs squished together, causing him to let out an involuntary moan. “Ch-child? How would you… do that? Touch my belly or something, like the Virgin Mary?”
His eyes were clouded with lust as he approached your bed, his hand trembling with need. “No, my sweet girl… I am no God, I’ll have to take a much more… direct approach.”
In an instant he was on top of you, his lips crashing into yours with an urgency only to be expected of a virgin. He was inexperienced, but tasted like honey and was as gentle as he possibly could be.
Already his erection was pressing against your thigh, and he unceremoniously thrusted his hips, trying to get more friction.
You were so damn soft, warm to the touch. It was taking everything in him not to ravish you instantly.
His fingers danced across your clothed cunt, testing the waters. When he pulled his hand back, it was wet and with a soft lick, his eyes went wide.
You tasted amazing.
Though he wanted to devour your fat cunt, he needed yo be inside of you even more. He was in pain, his cock aching and begging your your warmth to envelope him.
You watched his wings twitch as he positioned himself between your legs. The white feathers were soft to the touch, and you held onto them while he pushed in.
The angel couldn’t help himself, the second he felt your warm pussy he went crazy. His head was buried in your neck, his hips slapping against yours as he struggled to control his body.
He had never felt so good before, the angel was committing a terrible sin but he didn’t care, not one bit.
“S-so good, you’ll have your reward in heaven…” he blubbered out, cheeks red and covered in pleasured tears. “God…”
He came so quick, painting your walls white as hips nails dug into your hips.
All he wanted to do now was wrap his wings around you, holding you close. The angel didn’t pull out, you felt way too warm and comfy for that.
As he kissed your head and snuggled with you in bed, he was sure that that this was fate. Perhaps he was meant to lust after you…
You were something special, and no one would take you away from him.
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Champagne Kisses
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A night involving champagne gives you the perfect excuse to end up naked after weeks of harmless flirting. Spencer thinks one night isn’t enough.
category: smut, fluff word count: around 8k content: softdom!spencer, oral (f receiving), fingering, unprotected p in v (but no creampie he’s testing his pull-out game), alcohol consumption, food play (more like drink play), and i wanna say spit kink but they’re using champagne instead so does that count? a/n: merry 2025 please tell me you remember me or else i might actually cry
You’re doing it again.
You’ve been clawing at his face for the past hour, stealing fleeting glances and looking away just as quickly, because every time you do, you find the same thing.
Brown eyes. Chocolate, marbled in hazel with tiny golden speckles. Pinning you in place. Dismantling you layer by layer. And somewhere in the quiet heat behind them, in the barely-there twitch of his jaw, you’re pretty sure he’s already mapping out the fastest way to get you out of your clothes.
It’s nerve-racking. Smart Spencer you can handle, awkward Spencer you can charm. But flirtatious Spencer? Flirtatious Spencer is dangerous.
Even more so when you’re squashed between Penelope and Luke at the overcrowded booth of O'Keefe's, who are mid-argument over something you can’t even muster the energy to care. Not when long legs stretch in front of you, and strips of neon lights slice across the table in a glow that crosses his form, curving around handsome features that make him look far too inviting.
Because that’s what your mind keeps drifting to. Taking him back to your place, where the only thing glowing would be the dim light of your bedroom.
Or maybe the pale light from the hallway.
Perhaps the soft flicker of the lamp in your living room.
Either way, your mind is already drawing images of him doing whatever it is he’s picturing in his own head. The location doesn’t matter.
“Don’t you agree?”
Your gaze fall over him once more before you force yourself to look away, catching Penelope staring at you expectantly. “Agree to what?”
“That margaritas are objectively the most fun drink and clearly better than boring beer.”
This is the argument they’ve been debating for the last five minutes?
Luke scoffs from your left. He doesn’t look angry though, his expression is more amused than irritated, lips formed in a cheeky smirk. “I can tolerate margaritas if we’re on a beach. But beers are solid all year round, pop a cap and you're good to go."
“You’re such a guy."
“I'm telling you, you don't need fancy ingredients or a blender. No little umbrellas."
“Literally proving my point. Beer has no personality.”
“Are you saying I have no personality?”
Bright pink-framed glasses shift as Penelope tips her head. “If the shoe fits.”
You’re at the point where you’re no longer surprised by their arguments. Loud and pointless, is how you'd describe them. You suspect Luke does it to get a reaction, and normally you’d add fuel to the fire, because Penelope is a pretty fire-cracker when her nostrils flare in absolute indignation. But your attention is elsewhere tonight.
Knees brushing yours under the table. A small smile curled at the corner of his lips. Deep set of eyes dragging over your face, your neck, the spot between your collarbone and shoulder where the pulse of your heartbeat seems to echo louder each second.
You slide with your back against the chair, thighs clamping shut.
You feel him imprinted on you, heated gaze traveling beneath your skin. You wonder if he realizes what he’s doing, if he’s even aware of the effect all the time his eyes fall on you. Since the moment he walked in the room, since he took that seat directly across from you, and if you’re being completely honest, that glint in his eyes has been there probably for weeks now. The when of it all is a bit fuzzy.
Tonight feels adamantly different though, and you feel like you might just need a little extra something to quiet the nervous hum beneath your ribs.
But you’re not entirely sure whether it’s nerves or something far more indulgent that has your mind secretly leading you to a very unholy place. A place where you wonder if the rough, scruffy drag of his jaw feels the same below his navel.
You’re a hundred percent certain that it does.
“You know what’s a better drink?” your voice cracks, desperately needing that extra little something. “Champagne.”
Penelope’s head whips toward you. “Champagne? Here?”
You glance around the bar and raise a hand, trying to flag down the bartender.
The wood-paneled walls are covered with vintage beer advertisements, and the sticky floor is dotted with peanut shells from the complimentary bowls on every table. It’s the kind of place where the closest thing to champagne is probably prosecco poured into a plastic flute for a wedding after-party.
“What’s wrong with champagne? It’s a classic drink, great for celebration.” You order a bottle and four tall glasses before fixing her with a look. “It’s the New Year.”
She snorts. “We’re already halfway through January.”
“Penelope, we had to work on Christmas and New Year’s. We finally have this night to breathe, let me have this.”
There’s a beat of silence before she sighs dramatically. “Fine. But it still feels weird drinking champagne in a bar where the most sophisticated cocktail is a rum and coke.”
“Which is exactly why we’re elevating the night,” you reply, watching as the bartender sets the bottle down with (thank god) proper crystal flutes. You pour the first glass, the golden bubbles racing upward like tiny fireworks as you pass it to her.
Luke accepts the next glass without the same hesitation, but when you offer one to Spencer, the curly-haired man shakes his head.
“Right. I forgot you don’t really drink alcohol.”
The faintest smile tugs at his lips. “I don’t have anything against alcohol, just not in large amounts.” His gaze shifts to the bottle on the table. “I also happen not to like champagne.”
Penelope looks mildly offended. “Why not?”
“Because the carbonation overpowers the flavor. It’s hard to enjoy a drink when it’s constantly popping on your tongue.” You stifle a laugh before you can stop yourself. He looks at you. “What?”
“I think you’re overthinking it,” you reply with a grin. “Here, maybe this will change your mind.”
You pour him a glass and nudge it toward him. He simply looks from the glass to you.
“Come on,” you coax. “We’re celebrating the New Year.”
“Seventeen days late."
You suppress the urge to roll your eyes.
"Do not ruin the fun. We’re still celebrating, and you can’t toast with water. That’s practically begging for bad luck.”
He exhales sharply, lips twitching in what might be defeat or mild amusement, before reaching across the table. Everyone raises their glasses. The instant the bubbles hit his tongue, his nose scrunches in subtle distaste, and the sound of your laughter flies through the small space.
“It’s not that bad,” you insist.
“I still don’t understand the appeal.”
Champagne isn’t exactly your first choice either. You’ve always been more of a wine person. A good wine. A rich Burgundy that makes you close your eyes on the first sip to taste the faint of autumn in a glass. But champagne feels right for the occasion.
This taste blooms on your tongue, crisp and bright with hints of green apple and citrus and that faint yeasty richness at back of your throat. They dance across your palate, leaving a lingering sweetness through your veins that doesn’t soothe your nerves so much as ignite something beneath them, something warmer, deeper, curling into your bloodstream.
It makes you very bold.
Bold enough to hold his gaze without flinching. Bold enough to let your tongue flick across your lips. Bold enough to let your foot glide slowly up the length of his long, long leg.
You’ll have him taste his own medicine.
You, too, can play with fire.
“Maybe you’re drinking it wrong,” you hum, feeling him tense for the briefest, tiniest moment before he relaxes. “There’s another way to make champagne better.”
He grips the stem of his glass. “Something tells me you have a suggestion.”
“I do.”
He tilts his head. The din of conversation around you slowly fades into a muffled hum, the clinking of glasses and Penelope’s laughter barely registering as you notice the curve of his smile, the question lingering in his eyes.
Will you show me?
And that’s how you find yourself naked between his thighs two hours later.
It started innocently enough—or at least that’s the lie you fed yourself when you watched Penelope and Luke stumble their way to the dance floor, giggling as they poured yet another round of sparkling wine. But the champagne didn’t keep your attention for long. A few more stolen glances later, you found your hand wrapping around his arm, the other clutching a half-full bottle of champagne like some reckless lifeline.
It is reckless. Even you can’t deny that. You’ve always been cautious when it comes to bringing a man home. But this isn’t just anyone. This is Spencer. Someone who already knows too many pieces of you, someone who doesn’t need to be deciphered or explained.
And maybe that’s why you couldn’t stop yourself from dragging him out of the bar.
The ride in the stuffy cab felt like an eternity and a blink at the same time that the moment your apartment door clicked shut behind you, his mouth was already on yours. You barely had time to process how surprisingly good he tasted before your clothes started to disappear.
It’s a dizzying rush of hands and heat, and you’re now standing over him, knees brushing his as he sinks into your couch.
Yes, your couch. The soft, slate-blue one you’ve spent countless evenings curled up on, legs tucked under a blanket, flipping through books or half-watching shows you never finish. But now it cradles a completely different weight—the heavy heat of him radiating with tension-laced curiosity and a barely contained lust that seems to bleed right into the fabric.
“I can’t believe I’m kissing you,” he mutters dazedly, trailing his lips along your jaw with a hand resting on your naked back.
“I can’t believe you can unhook my bra that fast.”
He catches the sheer black fabric now hanging haphazardly over your lamp where he’d tossed it aside moments ago. “It wasn’t that hard.”
“Should I be concerned about how much practice you’ve had?”
“Not really. I’m a fast learner.”
That, you believe. But you’re not entirely sure if it’s his innate skill or the way your body seems to respond to him so effortlessly that leaves your lungs feeling like they’ve forgotten how to work. Breathing is no longer instinctive now. It’s a function you have to remind yourself to do as his tongue dances along the curve of your breast, and by the time he takes the achingly hard tip into his mouth, your chest tightens.
You suck in a desperate need of oxygen while he sucks the last thread of composure from you.
“Sweet.”
“Huh?”
“You—” He pulls back just enough to let his teeth graze the delicate skin before soothing it with a slow drag of his tongue, “taste sweet.”
Your hand slides to the back of his neck with a sigh. “You’re exaggerating.”
“What do you mean?”
“Bodies don’t taste like anything, it’s skin.”
Spencer shakes his head as he cups the weight of your other breast with the same care you’ve come to expect from him. Taut nipple rolls under his thumb. “How do you explain this then?”
You don’t respond. Not with words, anyway. Your body speaks first as you arch into his touch, chasing the warmth of his hands before you can form any thoughts.
“How do you explain,” he continues, his lips trailing down the slope of your stomach, “why I can’t get enough of how sweet you taste?”
Your mind finally catches up, and the words settle over you like honey itself.
“You think so?”
“It’s not a thought, it’s a fact.” He presses a kiss to the soft skin just below your navel. “I don’t know how you can taste better than this.”
Your laugh is breathless, barely steady enough to be called one. “You’re laying it on thick now.”
“I’m just being honest.”
It’s cute how he says it with such conviction, like it’s the simplest truth in the world and not a line that’s turning your legs to liquid. Your knees threaten to buckle as you step away, reaching for the half-empty champagne bottle perched on the coffee table. The glass feels cool against your overheated skin as you twist the cork free.
“What are you doing?”
“Considering your words.” You hold up the bottle, the champagne fizzing invitingly at its neck. “What do you say we make this even sweeter?”
His eyes light up with interest. “Is this where you show me the right way to drink champagne?”
You nod and sink back between his thighs. “I know you’re not big on sharing food, but I think you’re gonna like this.”
“You do realize I’ll share anything with you.”
Your lips curl into a soft smile. You’ve already learned that kissing Spencer feels deliciously messy. It’s sloppy in the way passion tends to be when control is the last thing on either of your minds, with tongues and teeth colliding in an unpolished rhythm that’s as raw as it is consuming. Adding champagne to the equation doesn’t feel like much of a stretch.
You step forward at the same time his hands fall to your hips. “There’s a trick to drinking champagne.”
“I’m listening.”
The bottle’s rim grazes your lips as you take in his appearance. His shirt is wrinkled, hanging just a little more loosely around his chest with two buttons undone. He’s the very definition of disheveled that’s entirely your doing. He looks absolutely irresistible.
“You need to linger on the taste,” you start, your voice dipping into something softer as your eyes meet his again. “Be patient. Let it sit and overwhelm your senses before you swallow.”
“You mean marinate it in my mouth?”
A giggle burst out of you. “Exactly. The longer you let it linger, the more it softens, and the sweeter it gets.”
You tilt the bottle to your lips. The sweetness starts to bloom on your tongue, subtle at first, but then richer, fuller against the roof of your mouth. There's a flicker of recognition in his eyes when you pull him closer by the nape of his neck, the exact moment he realizes what you’re about to do.
Your lips meld seamlessly with his as the Champagne slips from your mouth.
His lashes flutter briefly. There’s a soft flush spreading across his pale cheeks, and you feel the faint hum of pleasure, vibrating against the delicate curve of his skin as a liquid thread drips down your chin.
And then you’re kissing him. Or he’s kissing you. It’s hard to tell who moved first, but it doesn’t matter. His lips part further, and you swear you can taste every nuance of the champagne in a way you've never experienced before. Sharp citrus, a whisper of honeyed sweetness, and beneath it all, something clean and cool that reminds you of first snowfalls.
His lips are swollen and wet and perfectly shiny when you finally pull back.
“What do you think?”
“I think we should drink champagne every day.”
Your hand drifts to the side of his neck with a smile, thumb brushing lightly against his pulse. “Even when we’re working?”
“Especially when we’re working,” he counters, his tongue darting out to lick his lips, tasting what’s left of you. His gaze flickers to the bottle in your hand. “Can I try it?”
You pass it to him, your eyes fixed on the way he tilts it to his mouth. You’re sure the bubbles in your system aren’t the reason your pulse races as he sets the bottle aside and rises to his feet. You’re also sure that no amount of champagne is responsible for the way your lips part eagerly when his hands cradle your cheeks.
There it is again—that sweetness. It hits you the moment his mouth captures yours, but it fully overwhelms you when he tilts his head and gently coaxes the champagne from his lips to yours.
You’re not surprised at how quickly he picks this up. It’s common knowledge that he’s a very diligent person, but it’s still a bit astonishing how he’s taken to playing with a drink he supposedly doesn’t even like. This is nothing like solving cases or flexing his impossibly sharp brain, nor the crosswords you’re used to seeing him hunched over at his desk at lunch.
This requires a different kind of finesse that involves his lips and tongue rather than a pen and paper.
It also seems like he might be enjoying this even more. He leans back just enough to let his tongue sweep across the seam of your lips, collecting the last trace of sweetness clinging to you.
A thumb swipes over the wet trail under chin. “I could get used to this.”
“Champagne or me?”
“Both.”
Satisfied with his answer, your fingers trail down to undo the last few buttons of his shirt. “Do you wanna try something else?”
He quirks an eyebrow as you push down the fabric down his shoulders. You don’t say anything all the while you start to unbuckle his belt, peeling every layer of his clothing until you’ve stripped him completely bare—and would you look at that? The faint trail of hair down his belly matches the scruff shadowing his jaw.
There’s a brief pause as your eyes travel down his body, lingering on his surprisingly impressive size, and a comment sits at the edge of your tongue. You decide to let your actions speak for you.
Your delicate fingers wrap around his delicious thickness. You swipe the first signs of precum glistening over his tip with your thumb, and a low sound of pleasure rumbles in his chest.
“Is this what you had in mind?”
He sounds like he’s in pain, and you shake your head with a playful smile curling at your lips. “Sit back on the couch.”
Spencer sinks into the cushion.
“This might get a little messy.”
His brow furrows slightly, and for a moment, he looks genuinely intrigued. What he doesn’t expect is the way you slowly pour the remaining liquid down your chest. His mouth parts in surprise, and then his gaze follows every single drop like it’s gravity itself pulling him in.
You’re mesmerizing. Always have been, actually. There is no doubt in Spencer’s mind that you’re the most beautiful person he’s ever met in his life. Your mind is brilliant. Your heart is kind. But watching the champagne mix with the sheen of sweat on your skin, you’re something else entirely. You look lethal. A different kind of captivating.
He’s already pulling you by the waist, and you’re a mass of giggles as you twist out of his grip to set the bottle safely aside. “You’re enjoying this too much.”
“Can you blame me?”
Honestly, you can’t. If the roles were reversed, you’d probably look at him the same way.
When his hands finally find your hips again, there’s no point in pretending you don’t want to be caught. You bend your knees and shift on the couch. He helps you swing your thigh over his own and deposits you in his lap.
Desperate is a good enough word to depict for him because as soon as you're close enough, he’s tasting you all over again. His tongue drags slow over the curve of your shoulder, across the hollow of your throat, and down to the soft swell of your breasts. Goosebumps ripple across your skin with every pass, every flick of his tongue, his touch leaving a trail of heat that you swear you can feel seeping into your bones.
You don’t even realize when you start to move until you feel the slow, unintentional rock of your hips into him. His cock fits snugly between your folds that you start grinding as the words fall from your lips without much thought, “What do you think of sex without a condom?”
His pupils dilated, lips parting, but no sound comes out right away.
"Spence?"
His gaze flickers to where your wet bodies are pressed together. Damp moisture from his tip smeared erotically between puffy lips, clear liquid coating his hard length.
“I think… it’s very intimate."
“Too intimate?”
"No." His fingers trail along your skin before his thumb settles just under your breast, in the delicate curve where your rib meets, and finally looks at you. "Is that what you want?"
You're bobbing your head up and down.
“Then I'd really, really like that.”
You shift your weight on your knees. “So you trust me?"
"More than anyone."
“I trust you too,” you say, your voice dipping low as your fingers wrap around his cock, guiding him to your entrance. “Can I request something, though?"
"Anything."
You pause just long enough for your words to land. “I don’t want you to come inside me.”
He exhales a soft laugh. “That can be arranged.”
His answer makes your lips twitch, but as you start to sink down, your body seems to have other ideas. There’s a resistance you didn’t expect, a sudden tautness that refuses to give.
Your eyes widen in surprise.
Oh my.
“What’s wrong?”
When you first wrapped your hand around him and took in the full reality of his size, you’d been impressed. Now you wonder if maybe you underestimated just how much he has to offer.
You bite the insides of your cheeks and try again.
“It’s been a while,” you confess quietly. You can’t even recall the last time you were this intimate with someone that the hesitation feels foreign, like a hiccup in a moment you’ve been eagerly anticipating.
And you are eager. Maybe a little too much. It feels almost ironic, considering how much you’ve thought about this, how your imagination has filled in the blanks a hundred times over. Now that it’s real, your body seems to be having second thoughts your mind absolutely isn’t entertaining.
You shift your hips, determination flaring as you take a slow breath. Left, right, up, down. But then a sharp sting shoots through you. Your face quickly twists into a grimace.
"Hey,” he calls gently, thumbs brushing gentle circles against your hip. “We can stop. You don’t have to push yourself.”
But that’s the thing, isn’t it? You want him to push past whatever invisible barrier your body is putting up. The idea of stopping now feels more unbearable than the sting itself.
Your lips press into a stubborn frown. “No,” you say firmly. “We are not stopping.”
"Are you sure?"
"Mhm. I think my body's just being weird. I'm sorry."
His brows knits together almost immediately. “I should be the one apologizing.”
Frustration suddenly wells up in your chest, and this time your teeth sinks into your lip, unsure whether it’s the tension in the muscles between your legs or the ache of wanting him that feels stronger.
And you want him. So fucking bad.
“You need to relax,” he soothes, running his hands up your waist, past your ribs, across your back.
“I am relaxed,” you huff.
“I don’t think you’re relaxed enough.”
Before you can respond, he carefully lifts you from his lap and settles you back onto the couch. The cushions dips under your weight, and you barely have time to process the change before he gracefully drops to the floor.
“Should we move to your bed?”
He grips one of your ankles, his thumb brushing along the soft curve of your bone before he leans down, pressing warm lips to the skin above it.
“After this,” you reply, glancing at the sticky champagne trail still glistening faintly on your skin. “Don’t want my sheets getting sticky.”
There’s a flicker of amusement on his handsome face. “After this?”
“Did you think we’d be stopping after one round?”
His laughter vibrates against your calf. “How many times are we talking then?”
“Until I can’t feel my legs.”
The smile he gives you is slow and warm. It curves one corner of his mouth first, almost shy, before spreading fully, lighting up his face in a way that steals the breath right from your lungs.
“You’d let me have my way with you all night?”
“I’d probably let you have me anytime you want.”
His grin is almost blinding that you can’t help but give him a pleased smile of your own.
“Let’s focus on tonight first.” He moves to your other the leg. Delicate bone and tendon brushes against his lips. “I need to get you ready for me. Would you let me do that?"
Words fail you as his mouth moves closer, and the heat of his breath against your skin makes your entire body tense in anticipation. He presses another open-mouthed kiss to the sensitive skin of your inner thigh.
"You're still tense."
Kiss. Kiss.
“Really need you to relax.”
You try, but then again, it's impossible when his lips are so close, yet still not where you need them the most.
His name slips in a desperate whisper.
"Hm?"
"Stop teasing."
His lips quirk in response, but he doesn't argue.
He dips his head and finally— finally! —drags his tongue along your achingly wet folds. Your eyes almost roll to the back of your head.
"Better?"
The question is entirely rhetorical.
You don’t bother answering. Words seem sparse when his actions are spelling out everything you need to know in bold, underlined strokes. His touch is distinctly different from the playful, champagne-dampened kisses he had gifted your skin.
Now he’s utterly focused. He’s researching, and it appears his diligence isn’t confined to his academic when the same focus he applies to his studies is translated so flawlessly into reading your body like a favorite book. One he’s intent on memorizing every line of, delighting in every pause and whisper between the chapters of your sighs.
It’s this thought that tickles the back of your mind when he slips a finger in. He’s always been about comprehensive understanding, and well, you’re all about empirical evidence. Right now is proof of a hypothesis you’re too pleased to confirm that Spencer Reid might just be a genius in more ways than one.
Especially in how his steady thrust of his finger syncs perfectly with the hot, wet pull of his mouth, scratching such a carnal itch that it resonates deep in your brain. You sigh in pleasure when he adds another finger, and he lifts his head then, lips shiny and pink from his ministration.
"Do you think you can take a third?"
Your heart gives a few extra thuds in your chest cavity. “Please, please.”
Look at you, reducing yourself into begging, but really, how could you resist? Who could withstand the intensity of his gaze, the way his voice dips low like velvet wrapping around your senses?
Your head tips back against the couch, a soft whimper lashing out as he adds that third finger. The stretch is almost overwhelming but oh so good.
"Does it hurt?"
You let out a loud exhale. "No."
"Tell me if it hurts."
"Feels good." Your legs fall apart even further. "Don't stop."
He smiles, and then he's doing things to your body that have you questioning how you're even still breathing. The wet, sticky slosh of your arousal fills the room, a sound so explicit it should mortify you. But then three knuckles press deeper, stroking against that rougher patch of nerves and all rational thought dissolves.
A sound you didn't even know you could make escapes your throat. You're gasping, moaning, a little bit squealing as his free hand slides up your plush thigh before finding your puffy clit. And dear god, you’re choking on the breath that lodges in your throat. You're so close it's almost unbearable. A hand shoots out, and you’re gripping his forearm with a desperation you can't even pretend to hide.
You need him inside you.
“I'm ready," you gasp harshly, your lips parting in quick, desperate puffs. "I'm ready. I’m ready.”
He has the audacity to shake his head.
"I'll decide when you're ready."
Your breath stutters even more.
Why does that sound so hot? Why does that simple, infuriatingly calm statement make your thighs clench, your pulse race, and a fresh wave of heat roll through your body?
Before you know it, he’s coaxing your orgasm from you with just the right pressure, and every movement feels like it’s designed to bring you right to the edge. You’re not surprised by how wet you are, you’ve been dripping for what feels like hours. But what does surprise you is just how much your body can take. The intensity that doesn’t wane, that keeps pushing you higher, drawing out gasp after gasp until hot syrup gushes out of you in long, sticky droplets that pool on his fingers, down to the couch.
It’s endless, relentless, and you can’t even tell where one orgasm ends and the next begins. Your hand claw at his wrist.
“Spencer,” you whine, your voice breaking on the syllables. “Sensitive.”
He stops immediately, his fingers still inside you, his other hand slipping from your clit to rest on your thigh. “Too much?”
“A little,” you smile breathlessly. “C’mere.”
He crawls towards you as you lay on your back, relaxing your thighs.
His eyes trail over you, scanning your sweat-slicked skin, lingering on your perky breasts, moving down to where your legs are fallen apart, waiting for him. The sight is so overwhelmingly enticing that he finds himself wrapping a hand around his cock, muttering a low praise under his breath, “I don’t think I’ve told you how beautiful you are.”
Your eyes flick downward, and a spark of confidence—or maybe pure desperation—pushes your reply out without hesitation.
“Tell me again while you fuck me.”
You’re so blunt and shameless that a part of you might have blushed if you weren’t so far gone. Spencer doesn’t seem fazed, though. If anything, his eyes flash with a knowing sparkle that only deepens as he presses his bulbous head right at the shy of your entrance.
“I think I’m going to enjoy telling you,” he muses.
And Spencer is one to keep his promises.
He thinks you’re devastatingly pretty when he’s sinking into you. There’s a dazed look in your glossy eyes, and the sweetest sound coming from your lips as he stretches you in a way that leaves no part of you untouched.
He sings praises under his breath when the heavy weight of him finally settles deep inside your body. He patiently waits as your walls flutter around him, all the while his lips brushes the delicate curve of your collarbone, between low, broken whispers of how perfect you are.
Although perfection might not even capture the essence of what he sees in you at this moment. You’re a breathtaking array of contradictions. Powerful and vulnerable, fierce yet tender. You’re nothing short of divine as he gives another smooth, long thrust that pulls a sound from your lips that he knows will echo in his mind long after.
The heat of you surrounds him completely, and he swears he feels every pulse of your body welcoming him deeper. You’re slathering his entire cock with your slippery slick, and the dampness imprinting against his pelvis only seems to spur him on. He moves in steady, languid strokes, and your toes curl at the sensation burning in your belly.
He’s hitting you so good your ankles find themselves running down his back.
“Spence,” your voice is raspy and wet. “Fuck me harder.”
His quiet groan harmonizes with the rhythm of your heart. “Don’t wanna hurt you.”
“You won’t—”
You stop, and he looks through the mist of bliss you've shrouded him in. Your face twists, eyes going wide, lips parted to take in sharp breaths. He panics for a moment.
“You’re in pain,” he decides, reading the way your brows knit together, the way your breath stutters in your chest. It seems the most logical conclusion—until he realizes how wrong he is.
Because you’re writhing under his weight when he pushes in deeper, and your mouth trembles, not with discomfort, but with something devastatingly good.
“Oh,” he exhales. His smile is uncharacteristically smug. “It’s not pain, is it?”
You shake your head.
“You want it rough.”
It’s more of a statement than it is a question, but you’re nodding vigorously.
His restraint snaps like a frayed thread.
The next thrust is sharper, it pounds into you with enough force to shift your body slightly back against the cushions. Your lips mouth around another shaky breath he drinks dry with a wet kiss.
Still. Not. Enough.
“Harder,” you slur against his tongue.
What’s a hot-blooded man to do when asked so sweetly? He answers in the only way he can.
A hand curls around the back of your knee to pull you open just enough for him to drive deeper. The angle makes you feel impossibly full, how the folds of your vulva hugs around his shaft greedily, letting him claim all the space you didn’t even know existed. You can even feel the wet drag of his cock against your swollen clit with each hard thrust, a sensation so piercing it rips a gasp from your throat and a plethora of groans wailing from the couch.
“Like this?”
The relentless thwack-thwack-thwack of skins colliding is making you delirious.
“Yes,” you cry out. “Fuck—Yes. Yes.”
Your vision blurs as you blink, and—god, you think you might actually cry. And honestly, with how full you feel, with how every nerve is sparking to life under his loud rhythm, it wouldn’t even surprise you.
Your lashes feel wet as you squeeze your eyes shut, but you force them back open, unwilling to miss the way he looks above you. Jaw tight, sweat beading at his temples, eyes locked on you like nothing else exists.
Nothing probably does, not when he moves with a rhythm that feels both gentle and crude, like he’s savoring every second so sweetly while simultaneously chasing the most carnal kind of pleasure known to mankind.
Pleasure that has you melting, pleasure that has your body fully acclimating to his size. And now you’re teetering on the edge of another intense orgasm that begins its ascent from the tips of your toes and fingertips, spiraling a tingling rush up through your legs and arms, gathering force at the pit of your stomach, and exploding into the point where you’re intimately connected.
It happens all at once.
You’re trembling.
You’re shattering.
You’re pathetically whining.
Euphoria floods every inch of your body until you’re drowning in it. A liquid fire in your veins. Your cunt clenches around him, so tight you swear you feel every ridge and vein of his cock as keeps pressing you into the couch. Again and again and again, until you’re nothing but an incoherent mess, your words blabbered in a breathless rush of pleasure-induced nonsense.
One heartbeat stretches into two, then the muscles in his arms flexes as his pace falters. He’s shaking now, his pelvis moving in hurried, shallow thrusts as though he’s chasing something he can’t quite reach before the heat of him presses into you one last time.
He abruptly pulls out, his cock visibly pulsing in his hand and strokes himself with a stuttering groan as thick, pearly ropes splutters across your stomach. His fingers dig deeper into the back of your thigh while he continues to paint your skin in messy streaks, and you watch in fascination the moment his head tilts back in pure, unfiltered pleasure.
You don’t think you’ve ever seen him quite this beautiful.
His brows pinches in concentration for a few more seconds before his gaze slowly meets yours again, and a faint, blissful pink colors his cheeks.
“I’m sorry,” he apologizes sheepishly, looking a little out of breath. Devastatingly handsome and sweaty. Flustered in the best way.
You brush the damp hair sticking to his skin with a small, satisfied smile. “Are you kidding? That was extremely hot.”
His laughter fills every corner in the room. Then his hand drift down a comforting path down your thigh as he leans to capture the giggle tumbling from your lips with his own. It’s then you realize that kissing Spencer isn’t just enjoyable, it’s downright addictive.
You’re beginning to think he’s just as addicted to you too, because when he pulls away, it’s reluctant, his lips leaving yours with a faint, wet sound that lingers as sweetly as the kiss itself.
“Will you really let me have my way with you all night?” he asks gently, and you can’t help but wonder why he even feels the need to ask.
“Was I not obvious enough?”
You feel his smile before you see it. “Bedroom now?”
To tangle your naked limbs with his again sounds pretty close to heaven. Absolute, indulgent heaven, except for the distinct stickiness of champagne, sweat, and a cocktail of other body fluids clinging to your skin. The thought of sinking into cool clean sheets in this state makes your nose scrunch.
“We need to make a stop to the bathroom first,” you say, running a hand up his arm to squeeze his bicep. “Have you ever tried shower sex?”
“Can’t say that I have,” he admits truthfully.
You make a sound of disapproval.
“We definitely need to change that.”
-
Spencer realizes a lot of things can change in one night.
He also discovers how much he’s capable of learning in such a short period of time. Granted, he’s always been a quick study, but this is different. The hours between midnight and sunrise completely upend his understanding of things he’d only ever read about—sex, intimacy, the intricacies of how touch can feel as much like a language as words.
But beyond the newfound knowledge (and let’s face it, an entirely new appreciation for his muscles), there’s something else. Something that surprises him even more.
He likes waking up with another warm body beside him. More than likes it. There’s a strange kind of peace in the way your leg drapes over his, your hair a tousled mess against the pillow. Peace that makes him wonder if this, too, is something he could get used to.
Even if you’re hogging the blanket. He can feel the cool air on his back while you’re wrapped in most of the covers, leaving him to soak up whatever body heat he can steal by staying pressed against you. Not that he’s complaining. He’d happily stay like this for hours, but the sun is already creeping higher through your window, and your phone has been vibrating nonstop ever since he opened his eyes.
The sheets rustle as he shifts closer, mouth puffing warmly on your cheek with a breath of your name folding into your skin. You blink through heavy eyelids, and Spencer thinks you look adorable all wrapped up like a cocoon in the tangled linens.
“Hey," you croak, then clear your throat. “Morning.”
The soft rasp of your voice is even as endearing as the sight of you.
“I think we’ve already passed morning,” he says, slipping a hand under the covers, finding the goosebumps prickling on your upper arm.
“We slept in?”
“My guess is it’s almost noon.” There’s another buzz vibrating from the bedside table that stops him from pressing you against his chest. “Someone keeps calling you.”
He wonders if you can sense the slight annoyance in his voice. He wonders if he even has the right to be annoyed. It's Saturday. You clearly have plans—or at least someone thinks you do based on how persistent they've been.
If you catch the flicker of irritation in his voice, you don’t acknowledge it. You stretch lazily for your phone instead, and his attention is momentarily snagged by the way the sheet slips down your shoulder, revealing the constellation of freckles and moles he’s spent the entire night memorizing with his lips.
"Nobody’s calling.” Your thumb scrolls through the notifications. "Penelope just doesn't understand the concept of personal space when she texts."
Spencer feels the tightness in his shoulders ease, though he doesn't miss the way your eyes narrow into sleepy slits at the screen.
"Oh."
That one syllable is enough to set his mind buzzing.
"What?"
"Um."
It’s the subtle crack in your voice that hooks him. He’s never been good at sitting with unanswered questions, especially not when your expression shifts just enough to make him wonder what could possibly warrant that little noise.
He finally curls an arm around your waist, and the faint trace of your scent fills his lungs as he gently draws you back against his chest. A relentless stream of messages glares up at him over your shoulder.
Penelope [Sent 23:37]: Where are you?? Penelope [Sent 23:45]: Is reid with you? Penelope [Sent 00:05]: Did you leave? WITH HIM?? Penelope [Sent 00:17]: You did, didn't you? Penelope [Sent 00:33]: You can’t just vanish like this, you know I have questions!!!
Spencer barely registers the way his hand drifts down to rest against your stomach. He pulls you in unconsciously as his eyes scan over the flood of texts that started piling up this morning.
Penelope [Sent 09:19]: Good morning. Penelope [Sent 09:25]: Answer me. Penelope [Sent 10:24]: Seriously, are you alive? Penelope [Sent 10:39]: YOU OWE ME DETAILS. Penelope [Sent 10:48]: Last chance. Calling you in ten.
"I think she's onto us."
It’s not so much a matter of thought as it is a fact. Your words are less a theory and more a confirmation of reality, as undeniable as the relentless stream of texts lighting up your phone.
"What should I tell her?"
Spencer leans in closer. The soft scent of your shampoo drifts up, clean and faintly sweet, wrapping itself around him in a way that makes his chest ache, though he’s not sure why. He’s inhaling everything—your warmth, the curve of your shoulder brushing his chest, the way your voice carries an edge of hesitation that feels so out of place for someone like you.
And that’s what truly catches him off guard. Not the fact that Penelope is practically banging on a metaphorical door with her texts, but that you’re hesitating. You, who rarely second-guess yourself, now unsure about sharing the details of last night with one of closest people in your life.
Or maybe the surprise lies closer to home. How easily the words form in his own mind, bypassing the overthinking that usually rules him.
He has ten minutes to think before Penelope supposedly calls, but he doesn’t need ten minutes, or even ten seconds, because the answer is already there, so obvious it practically tumbles out of him.
"The truth," he hums against the crown of your hair. "You should tell her the truth."
You’re quiet for a while.
“Are you sure?"
For someone who invited him into your home, who let him press you into the couch cushions, spread you out on the cool tiles of the bathroom, and pull every sound he wanted from you on the soft give of your mattress—on your back, your front, even sideways—you seem awfully uncertain now. Very out of character.
So what’s changed this morning? Is it the stale morning breath he’s sure he hasn’t fixed yet? The mess of his curls sticking up in every direction from a night spent pressed into your pillows?
Or is it something much deeper that he hasn’t quite put his finger on?
The thought clings to him as his thumb brushes your stomach. "I’m sure," he says. "Are you?"
You hesitate for a beat too long, and that tiny pause lands heavy on his chest.
"This is going to change everything," you finally say, sounding somewhat like a warning.
He frowns. "Didn’t you want it to?"
"I did. I do." You pull in a breath that shakes on the way out. "Maybe we should discuss this before we say anything to anyone."
Your phone slips quietly onto the bed as you twist in his arms. Face to face.
"Do you like me?"
What kind of question is that?
"Did I seem not to like you last night?"
"No, Spencer, I need to hear it. Do you like me?"
He studies the delicate fold between your brows. He watches the quiver on your parted lips. And your eyes—watery and glossy and wide. Soft lashes framing the quiet expanse of irises that shimmer like glass.
He knows what you need. Spencer has spent most of his entire life reading people, pulling truths out of their silences and decoding what they can’t (or won’t) say. And even though he hates applying that skill to you, he knows this isn’t just about reassurance. You’re not only questioning what happened between you last night. You’re questioning what comes next.
The time glares from your phone over your shoulder: six minutes. That’s all he has to convince you that his feelings go far beyond fleeting lust or the heady haze of alcohol. Six minutes before Penelope inevitably interrupts.
But he’s not the greatest with words, is he?
Sure, he’s read more books than most people will touch in a lifetime. He can recite Edgar Allan Poe by heart and dissect layers of meaning in Dostoevsky’s prose like it’s second nature. But his own feelings don’t come wrapped in poetic declarations. That’s not who he is.
What he can do, though, is tell you the truth.
“You know how you told me I could have you anytime I want?”
A strand of hair brushes against your cheek as you nod.
“You’ve already had me from the very beginning.”
Your gaze softens, then you sigh sweetly, and he knows without a doubt that the truth is exactly what you need. “Before all the sex?”
“Before we even kissed.”
The distance between you slowly becomes nonexistent. You slot your knee between his thighs, a lick of smile curling at the corner of your lips.
“So… when I ran my foot up your leg?”
His lopsided smile is no different from yours. “No.”
“Last week when I wore your cardigan because the AC got too cold?”
“You looked really pretty in it, but no.”
“Last month?”
“Even before that.”
You click your tongue. “Give me a clue. A hint.”
But you don’t need clues. Clues are for puzzles, for cases that demand solving. This has never been a mystery. He’s known it for longer than he cares to admit, and he wonders if you’re asking because you genuinely don’t see it or because you just want to hear him say it.
Either way, he’ll happily say the truth as plainly as it exists in his mind.
“From the moment you joined the team.” You pause for just a heartbeat, and he reaches out to brush away the stray of hair slipping down into your eyes. “You probably didn't notice, but I couldn't stop staring at you.”
“You’re lying,” you accuse softly.
“I’m a terrible liar.”
He watches as you mull over his words. He knows you’re trying to decide whether to believe him, though he doesn’t think it’s really a question of if. You already know he’s telling the truth.
Your voice is awfully quiet that he has to perk his ears for it.
“What took you so long then?”
Because while he’s a terrible liar, he’s always been painfully good at keeping his heart to himself. Years of compartmentalizing, of burying emotions under layers of logic and detachment, have made it almost second nature. And maybe that’s why it took him so long.
That, and bad timing.
Countless abductions.
A never-ending chase after unsubs.
Death of a team mate.
And prison.
God, prison.
He wonders if these are valid reasons or just excuses. Had there ever been a perfect moment? Or had he let his fears and the chaotic nature of his job push his personal happiness to the sidelines too often?
The words knot in his throat, and in the end, all he can muster is an apology.
“I’m sorry.”
For waiting so long.
For not saying this sooner.
For only finding the courage to make a move under the guise of flirtation and champagne.
He’s selfish. He is. Because he's reaching for you based on his time, his terms, waiting until he was ready to fit you neatly into his schedule. But you simply shake your head. Because that's what you are, isn't it?
You’re selfless, and so profoundly lovely that you offered yourself to him last night without reservation. And now you’re even more radiant, wrapped in the soft light of vulnerability, tinged with doubt, yet always so giving. Pulling him closer to your chest with a hand on his back. Fingers splay across his skin, nails dragging idly along his spine.
“Don’t be,” you reply, feeling his body expand and deflate under your palm when he breathes. “There’s nothing to apologize for.”
See? Selfless. The least he can do now is give you back the words you need to hear, the assurance you deserve to hear. Your foreheads press together, and he reverently lays his hand on your cheek, spreading lean fingers into your hair.
“If you must know, I do like you.”
But the word feels so inadequate for what he’s finally trying to tell you. Like doesn't even scratch the surface of how much space you take up in his mind.
"I more than like you,” he decides to add.
It doesn’t take long before you kiss him. Soft petals bloom warmly against his mouth, puffing humid breath he tastes on his tongue. A blissful moan he swallows greedily, lets it settle deep in his chest, his bones, his veins, filling every corner of him with the sweetest weight of you.
A flutter of lashes skims against his cheekbone when you tilt your head, pulling back by the barest inch. “You’ve made a huge mistake, by the way.”
The pad of his fingers presses gently on your scalp. “Why?”
“You’re never getting rid of me now.”
His thumb moves against your hairline as he takes in your words. For a moment, all he can do is absorb them, replay them, savor them. Then his eyes soften, the corners crinkling with genuine delight, and he lets out a soft huff of laughter that melts right into the narrow space between you.
He scoots impossibly closer, hoping your skin will somehow mold with his. Because after all the surprisingly creative positions he discovered with you last night, it’s the only conclusion he can come to: you fit into him. Perfectly. Soft curves finding their place against the lines of his frame, every piece of you adhering like glue to his skin.
Chest to chest, nose to nose, and lips so maddeningly close to yours that he can still taste the warmth of your breath, sweet and intoxicating in its nearness. It’s enough to drive him a little insane, though he’d argue he’s always been slightly off-center where you’re concerned.
His fingers twitch, ready to close that infinitesimal gap when the sharp buzz of your phone suddenly slices through the moment.
Six minutes.
That’s all the time the universe has granted him, and it’s woefully too short.
"Might need to block her number," you mutter under your breath as you shift slightly to reach for your phone. He watches the way your fingers fly over the screen rapidly before placing the device back on the side table.
“What did you tell her?”
“The truth." Then you drop on him like a dead weight, limbs tangling in the most inconvenient ways until your head is tucked in the crook of his neck. "Also sent her an eggplant and water emoji.”
A crease forms between his brows. “What does that mean?”
You fail to keep in your laughter. “You don’t want to know.”
He’s fairly certain he does want to know. In fact, he’s starting to realize he wants to know everything about you now that you’ve given him the chance. Beyond the pull of bodies and the way they slot together so seamlessly, beyond the electricity of skin against skin.
Though he can’t deny his curiosity at one precise moment, the way you’d slightly gasped when his fingers accidentally brush around the base of your throat. He wouldn’t mind knowing what that meant for you, and, surprisingly, what that even implied for himself.
But as intriguing as that is, it’s not what lingers the most. It’s the subtleties he wants to unravel, the pieces of you he hadn’t even realized he’d been aching to explore.
Your wit, your thoughts, your mind—that lovely, intricate thing he’s admired for so long. Full of nuances and depths he hadn’t even realized he’d only been skimming the surface of. He’s sure there’s something far greater than even his endless mind could have imagined that ties to the beautiful shape of you.
And you’re so beautiful. He’s known that for years, but mere hours ago, he learned it in an entirely new language. Even when he understands seven different ways the world chooses to communicate and speaks four fluently, yours is his favorite.
Yours doesn’t need words or perfect pronunciation. It’s instinctive and warm, written in every sigh, every glance, every unspoken verse that linger in the subtle shift of your body. In every nuance of your taste.
God, your taste.
He knows you’re right, skin can’t be sweet. The dichotomy isn’t lost in him. Yet it doesn’t matter, because not even the crisp, effervescent bite of champagne compares to the warmth of you. Not even sugar, and he basically lives on sugar. In chocolate-sprinkled donuts that he grabs on the way to work, in the endless cups of coffee that fuel his day.
You’re something else entirely, beyond comprehension.
And if one night was enough to saccharine his senses with you, he can only imagine what forever could do.
#spencer reid smut#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid x you#spencer reid x y/n#spencer reid fic#criminal minds fanfic#spencer reid x fanfiction#spencer reid x self insert#spencer reid x fem!reader#spencer reid x female reader#spencer reid x fem!reader smut#spencer reid fanfiction#lou writes#criminal minds fanfiction#criminal minds fic#criminal minds smut
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Hi!! Could you please write something for Spencer where r is used to men being like really loud and rough and all that (maybe bc of her father or smth) and just her getting used to how gentle Spencer is and almost thinking it’s too good to be true?
Thank you for requesting angel <3
Spencer Reid x fem!reader ♡ 905 words
It happens when you’re still half asleep. You fumble for your phone on Spencer’s nightstand, your alarm chiming, and knock a picture frame off instead. You’re fully awake by the time you hear the sound of glass shattering against the floor.
You mumble a curse. Spencer hums questioningly into his pillow.
You get down from the bed, managing to step over the glass, but you’re not thinking clearly enough. When you sink onto your knees, little shards prick the skin. You pick the frame up carefully. It’s a picture of Spencer and his mom. An old one, of her chasing a three or four-year-old Spencer around someone’s yard. They’re both laughing, her arms outstretched towards him and his face turning to look over his shoulder. It’s obviously a sentimental photo.
Your cursing intensifies, though you keep it internal now. You feel awful.
Spencer’s head appears over the edge of the bed as you’re scraping the glass into a pile. His eyes are half-open, expression still weighted with drowsiness.
“What happened?” he asks.
There’s no accusation in his tone, but you feel suddenly teary. You haven’t fought with Spencer yet, and you weren’t expecting to be yelled at first thing this morning. You suppose you’ve earned it, though.
“Spence, I’m so sorry.”
“What are you doing?”
“I—I knocked over your picture. The frame broke. I feel awful, I’ll get you a new one o—or I can replace the glass if the frame is important to you.”
“What?” Spencer blinks, brows furrowed as though he’s having trouble grasping this. “No, it’s—stop. Don’t do that.”
You still, looking up at him hesitantly with your hands cupped around the glass pile. “What do you want me to do?”
“You can’t clean glass up with your hands.” He shuffles his way out from under the covers, taking a big step over the class to stand behind you. His hands wrap around your elbows. “Get away from there.”
His tone conveys some upset, but not nearly as much as you were prepared for. And his grip on your arms is gentle. You can’t make sense of it.
You let him guide you into the bathroom, sitting up on the counter when he prompts you. Spencer takes your hands in his, looking them over and brushing his fingers lightly across your palms before determining there’s no glass in them. His eyes skim you over. When they land on your knees, his expression pinches.
“Why did you do this?” You expect him to grasp your knee roughly, but his fingers wrap around it with care, thumb rubbing over the soft underside as though to soothe you.
“I wasn’t thinking,” you say softly. “I feel so bad about the picture with your mom, I’m so sorry.”
“It’s okay.” Spencer sounds surprised. His eyes flit up to yours, soft brown, curious. “I can get a new frame. You didn’t need to hurt yourself.”
“Well, I didn’t do it on purpose.” Your voice drops to a murmur as Spencer bends down, opening a drawer to take out first aid supplies.
He pulls each tiny piece of glass from your knees with heart-aching care. One hand stays on the back of whichever knee he’s working on, to steady him and to comfort you, and it’s a slow, attentive, tender process. Gradually, a realization seeps into you.
Spencer isn’t going to blow up at you. Maybe someday, but not about this, not over just anything. You’re not sure how you could have been so expectant of someone who’s been nothing but kind and gentle with you turning harsh and forceful at the first upset.
You don’t even wince as Spencer cleans up your knees. He’s careful to give you no reason to, every touch considerate and sweet. He straightens after smoothing bandages over the cuts, still holding your lower thighs in his hands.
“That wasn’t a very nice way to wake up,” he says. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah,” you say, but you hold your arms out for a hug anyway.
Spencer’s happy to oblige you, his hips fitting between your legs and palms sliding across your back. He smells like sleep. You hook your chin over his shoulder, contentment filling your belly like warm honey.
“You seemed upset,” he murmurs, a question if you choose to answer it.
“I was nervous,” you admit. “I thought you’d be mad.”
“For knocking the frame over?”
“Mhm. I still feel really bad.”
Spencer draws a line between your shoulders. “Don’t feel bad. You didn’t do it on purpose.”
You hum. “You’re a lot less loud than most guys, do you know that?”
He pauses. “Is that a bad thing?”
“No.” You pull away from him, cradling his face in your hand. “I’m just not used to it, is all. I keep expecting you to yell at me, but that doesn’t seem like it’s really your thing.”
“I guess I don’t think of it as my thing,” Spencer agrees, mouth curving as he repeats your words. “My mom says I was always a quiet kid. I guess I just never thought yelling would get me anywhere.”
“Don’t start.” You grin, and his cheek dimples under your palm. “I like you like this.”
“Okay, I’ll try not to.” He tilts his face into your touch. His hands drop back to your knees, skimming down the unharmed sides next to the bandages. “And you shouldn’t get angry at yourself on my behalf anymore, either.”
#spencer reid#dr spencer reid#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid x fem!reader#spencer reid x y/n#spencer reid x you#spencer reid x self insert#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid fic#spencer reid hurt/comfort#spencer reid fluff#spencer reid imagine#spencer reid scenario#spencer reid drabble#spencer reid blurb#spencer reid oneshot#spencer reid one shot#criminal minds#criminal minds fanfiction#criminal minds fanfic#criminal minds fic#criminal minds x reader
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──𐙚 teach me daddy (s & f)
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boyfriend!jungkook x virgin!reader
content: daddy kink, ddlg themes, Jungkook teaching his innocent, virgin gf how to..; touch him (blowjob) and how he touches her (fingering, lil tit play) !! hickies, sweet talk, lowkey dumbification, praise, cumming on stomach, guided, petite oc!!! Size.kink. so much dirty talk. so many pet names, FILTH.
note from cherry: put my whole sopping pussy in this. im a whore. My fav trope pls i hope i did it justice
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Jungkook's lovely, borderline magical finger tips create his usual pieces of invisible art upon your skin, right underneath the frilly fabric of your pink skirt, that top of your soft thigh squished against him, because his lap- specifically the bulge inside of his grey stüssy sweats- has become your favorite spot to sit on. Somewhere in between lush kisses and feathery moans elicited by the fluttered bruises he lays down the lane of your neck, you've understood one thing;
It feels so warm- so good to sit on that tent that forms in your older boyfriends pants, visible every time you bite your lip and stare at him with huge round, pleading eyes- every passing, electrifying fraction of a moment you spend threading through his deliciously laid, tussled mullet, or tracing the colorful lines etched into his hardened muscles, almost like you're coloring the small pictures in with your glittery gel nails.
Feels so good to hear low groans from your boyfriend's throat, experiencing your clit pulsing inside those little lacy panties, while consciously avoiding the sensation of a large wet patch making them cling to your untouched folds, it felt tingly, you had just told him.
"Tingly?" he asks, plucking back a delicate strand of your hair,
"Mhm.. like it wants attention. s'how i feel when i hump my stuffies" another small- fleeting detail you deemed insignificant, however it continues to feed into the hunger growling primally in jungkook's chest, wanting to expand outward, tear out of his gentle strokes that accidentally find your nipples, on occasions where he should be content with your petite frame inside the solid embrace of his own- oh so hungry body.
But he isn't content, not now that you've revealed you're pussy has kissed the very stuffies he's bought for you, seen you go starry eyed at.
His mind races with images of you- you in your bare glory, one he hasn't seen but there is no doubt in his mind you're an angel, sat on top of that plush hello kitty, dragging your wet, overstimulated clit over it's button nose- over and over, until there's drool running down the corners of your pout- until your eyebrows crunch together in pure delight. He wonders if you're the type to beg, ramble out your needs like a lost little deer.
His cock throbbs in anticipation, his primal instincts scream for him to take care of you whole, explore every inch of your sweet, sweet vessle. Jungkook has to know more- has to know everything.
"And how does my pretty girl hump her stuffies?" he innocently questions, hiking his hands up further on your small legs, crawling to your inner thighs, the digits raise goosebumps on your skin and a pink hue on your cheeks, it complements you- he thinks, harmonizing with your glossy pink lips.
"Hmph.. jus'.. sit on them.. r-rub back.. n' forth" your whispered reply has him drop into a lower, deeper tone, assessing how your body subconsciously responds to his teasing, bucks forward the smallest, almost unnoticeable bit.
"And what happens when babygirl does that?" you whine- leaning your lips to ghost against his own, the tingly feel rises again, floods your panties in an instant because his sudden dominance drowns you in its strangling hold,
"I feel good"
Jungkook creeps his large palm up, cupping your pussy boldy through the thin girlish fabric,
"Haa-ah" moaning, you give way into his palm, playing into his hands because you belong no where else, in response, his thumb extends, rubbing over where your clit sits puffily,
"Yeah..? right here is where it feels good, doesn't it princess?" liquid smooth as he talks, applying pressure to your needy bud,
"Mhm" you nod- whimpering against his pierced lip. In the flashes of his tight circles, you cannot bring yourself to keep your mouths attached- to focus on maintaining a healthy breath when your flower is being treated with the most careful sexuality "This feels better daddy" you say airyly, lips barely touching.
His breath stalls before it hitches once again- the title found him so righteously, so naturally succumbing to his deserved role- your daddy.
"Fuck sugar, it does hm? Let daddy take care of you, make you feel all warm and tingly"
After all, you're his special little princess,
The one with a cute pout that he wishes to see wrapped around his angry cock, he had envisioned this moment countless of times, fisting himself late at night- the soft snores come from your end of the phone, purely, innocently sleeping in the white glow of your screen, big, soft facial features lay peacefully against your pillow.
Even though the sins run carelessly on his end- he never bothered to mute himself, you kept sleeping, dreaming away,
Somtimes, he desired for you to wake up; he'd groan a bit louder, more vulgar with his endless cussing, thought about how your pupils grow wide, how your lips would part into a gasp- wish that you'd timidly run your thumb over your clit at the unfamiliar warmth spreading through your little purity, ruined, emerged in his perversion.
You nod, already going droopy eyed at the simple action of his thumb thrumming your pearl,
The cold air hits your sopping cunt as he peels your delicate panties to the side, giving him a full view of your flower, skin slick with desire
"You have the prettiest little pussy, so cute, does she want to be played with?" his tone is so- so gentle, yet, its dripping with power, entranced with the view of his- yes his very own digits that faintly glide between your folds,
"Yes- nghh shit- koo" your manicured nails dig into his meaty thighs, grounding yourself in a failed attempt to hold your head up, the foreign urgency consumes your entire being with it's intensity,
"Look at me sugar" he commands, growling lowly, his eyes squint to the ones of a predator, you- his prey, look at him like he has always known you would- wide eyed, doe eyed, awaiting his instructions
"Good girl. Now tell me again, do you want daddy to show you how to feel really good hm? How to play with your tiny cunt?"
You nod dumbly, letting out the smallest sounding yes that had ever grazed his ears, he purrs, taking in the effort with an open heart,
"Suck on them, need them nice and wet, can you do that for me princess?" his fingers intrude your bitten lips, forcing his digits to collide with your tongue, eagerly- messily and uncoordinated, you swirl your tongue around them, humming as he withdraws- letting out a satisfied groan
You wince a bit upon the proding of his fingertips against your entrance, unexpectedly, you look at him- begging for him to take you with him, guide you by the hand along everything he does, take your hand like a good daddy should.
The substantial need to make you feel safe takes over again, courses throughout his entire being because you look so vulnerable like this, so barely laid out for him to consume.
"it's okay babygirl, it's gonna feel so good. Daddy's gonna put a finger inside this pussy, you'll feel a bit full, but my precious little girl's so good, she can take it all" he can feel your body relax on top of his lap, as if your muscles let go of all tension with his reassurances- he's on the edge of feeling bad for wanting to ruin your purity.
But he does it regardless.
Wet, sloppy sounds fill your ears as he pumps his finger inside of you. The rhythm starts slowly, one push- one long drag between your folds before returning to pulling out, pushing back in carefully. He studies the subtle change in your expression, diligently grasping at the strings of your arousal- his own eyes can't choose between the look of lust on your face and his hand colliding with your sweetness, feeling how you suck his finger in with every fiber of your being, so untouched, so pure- so, so needy.
You squirm, wrap your hand around his bulging bicep- "Daddy- that feels so good, feels so so good" you continue mumbling, singing the cutest moans to numb his thoughts, feed his hunger, he turns greedy- allowing himself to drown in you entirely, granting himself premission to increass his speed, push in deeper- you gratify him, become louder, whiner, give yourself over because truthfully- you didn't know anything outside of how good it feels to be fingered like this.
"Yeahhh, feels so good to have daddy's fingers? think you can take another one?" Patiently he waits for your allowance- and once he heared that needy voice of yours, calling out for him to push another finger in, he snaps,
"Fuck sugar, look at you, such good girl f'me, feel so full don't you?" His lips latch back on to your neck as he pumps into you faster, curling his fingers into you like he's crawling into your body, establishing his ability to make you squirm- make you whimper and lose that pretty head of yours in his sinful lure.
So you do lose yourself- start whining for him to keep hitting that spot- right there daddy- you beg,
"Yeah? My babygirl loves this- loves my fingers making your cunt feel good. All mine, my little pussy, no one can have you like this"
"Right there ohh? Can you say that again sugar?" Thoughtlessly, obediently ylu start repeating, rehearsing the words like you're summoning him- your legs jerk, contract the muscle with a moan so pronounced jungkook could cum all over himself at the pure nuance of it.
"mmhm! s'too much- feels like i- like i'm gonna-" Your eyes roll far into your skull at the lingering of his teeth on your jaw, his tongue that shamelessly licks a strip up to your ear so he can coax you into intoxicating pleasure.
"Like what little girl? Gonna make a mess?"
At that- at the last syllable of his sentence, you release your arousal over the whole long inches of his fingers that are still relentlessly pushing into your hole, plucking out roughly- shoved back in, "Goood girl" he rasps, slapping his soaked fingertips over your overstimulated cunt. You did not know better than to leave gasps into his now bitten, ridiculously broad shoulder, shudder in overstimulation, tug at the roots of his chocolate mullet,
Your bedroom grows quiet, pleasure rings in your ears, wrecks you from the top of your head to your toes, colorful sparks fly behind your eyelids as it keeps going, keeps flooding out of your body like it had never done before.
Your boyfriends entire demeanor changes once his ragged breathing returns to soft hums, his healing hands cover more than half of your back and he just lets you bathe in the aftershocks, "Did so well for daddy, my good girl" The whispers find your hair, his pecks follow, decorating your journey back to a grounded reality with beautiful stars, safety,
As he´s rubbing up and down your back under the fabric of your cami, your skin erupts into familiar goosebumps, only this time, he feels your stiff nipples rub against his own, sweaty chest, the friction makes you hiss involuntairly,
"How do i feel good here ?" The muttered curiosity behind your words makes Jungkook moan audibly- reaches his hands to slide around your torso, your rips flutter in response, "Let me show you"
Your cami shrivles up over the swell of your small chest, cupped snuggly in your white sparkly bra, his hands cover your entire breasts easily, the twinkle in his vision is unmistakable,
lust, utter need
"Gon´ pull these down baby, show your pretty body to me" vision going white, he rushes to wrap his lips around the stiff bud, encircling it with his tongue, "All mine, my tits, my little girl, these belong to me" He takes his time- devours you, flicking the tip of his tongue over and over, you recoil forward, moan helplessly under how good he´s making you feel,
Jungkook returns the favour, moans into your skin that arches closer into his mouth,
"Want me to give you some attention too? Gonna rub it like this baby, roll it in between your fingers" The instructions help to remember what is happening between the chasm of gasps and whimpers, the throbbing between your aching legs returns in unbearable force- rises with every collision of his rough palms rounding your soft skin, he nibbles, sucks, bites gracefully into the sensitive flesh.
"Daddy- daddy stop please" the wet sensation leaves in the blink of an eye, his gaze glistens over with worry- hands immediately running to your comfort, soothing your arms, "M´sorry my love, too much? Wanna stop here?"
You shake your head violently, wanting to sob at the thought of stopping, you´ve never felt need like this, urges like this- borderline possessed as you tug at his waistband, his eyes widen, holding both your wrists in his calloused hand "Woah babygirl, slow down, what is it that daddy´s princess wants?" He asks genuinely, running his lips over your jaw but his cock betrays him, throbs painfully as you whimper for him, mutter for him to show you how to make him feel good too. He didn't want to pretend to be innocent anymore- your boyfriend had been praying to have you like this, why would he deny you if you so desperately wish to pleasure him anyways?
Feverishly, your small hands expose his member, appreciating the hard outline in his calvins before reaching in- finding the warm length that can, in no way, fit even in the grasp of both your fidgety hands,
"It´s so pretty, so big" You praise, staring in awe at the sight in front of you, a pearl of his arousal runs down alongside the vein of his shaft, Jungkook growls, scratching your scalp with his tattooed hand,
"All yours. come on sugar, little kisses, lick it a bit, i´ll be loud for you"
It´s not like it was his choice regardless, not when you lay your tongue flat against his tip, tracing every inch of him. You lick up and down his pulsating cock, look up at him through your feminine, innocently batted eyelashes as if to ask if he feels good- he groans, tightens his hand with each torturous slow lick to him, how could he not feel good?
"Good little girl, taking daddy so well, need you to take it in your mouth now okay? Can you be good and try to swallow daddy´s cock?"
You nod- god you´d do anything he asks, hesistantly, your lips coat his fat tip, opening your throat as he feeds you his girth, hitting the back of your throat in an instant- you try your best to ignore the gag, focus on the wetness of your cunt and his breathless curses.
It´s even more erotic than he had imagined, you do pout; your lips barely fit in his cock, not able to get half of it into the confined space of your jaw- his stomach flips at your hand that wraps around the rest of him- while the other one clenches his inner thigh for support, marks his skin in reminders. The look in your willing eyes, the struggle to take his inches as your own spit escapes your mouth- it´s becoming something he will get addicted to in no time,
"Ssh i know daddy´s big babygirl, but you´re made for me, breathe through your nose, goood job baby" its fuel, fuel to your insatiable greed for him, you follow instinct, bob up and down with the help of his hand on the back of your head, throat contracting around him and shit- Jungkook is sure if your throat is this tight sucking him off, your virgin pussy must feel like heaven too.
"Just like thaaat, yeah sugar, makin´ me feel so fucking good" He continues, thighs flexing with the constricting feeling in his balls, release bubbles up fast, rapidly banging his system- your boyfriend grips you by the jaw, to have you make eye contact with his half lidded brown stars, "Lay down f´me"
Sprawled out, tummy laid open, your hair flows over your tits, eyes watch him stroking his cock in heavy, aggressive movements, rubbing his thumb over the pink swollen tip- he pants, groans so fucking loud you instinctively spread your thighs for him- clenching around nothing- begging silently for him to give you everything.
At the sight of your cunt covered in your own, copious amount of slick and previous orgasm, he´s struck down mercilessly, it rides him over the edge and soon enough, he splurts his milky cum all over your lower stomach, he shakes- calls out for you.
"My little princess, look so beautiful like this, god i fucking love you"
You giggle girlishly- a sound from the deep chambers of your now, perverted heart as he engulfs you in his hold, "Baby you´re-" his mouth finds yours again, not letting you protest but he's soft, grateful "I don´t care, you´re mine, my baby, all mine" Another kiss, another smile, "Thank you, thank you sugar" he mumbles, holding your flushed out cheeks in his big hands, searching for familiar innocents within your face and unsurprisingly so, he still discovers it.
#redcherrykook#jungkook fanfic#jeon jungkook#jungkook x reader#jungkook x y/n#jungkook smut#jungkook x you#bangtan fanfic#bangtan smut
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A Jar Full of Us | one-shot
Pairing: Jungkook x (f.) Reader
Genre/Tags: best friend! jungkook, best friend! reader, college! au, unrequited love (?), idiots to lovers, best friends to ??? to lovers, angst, fluff, implied smut.
Summary: You never meant for him to find them. Hundred little confessions, folded away, never meant to be read. But now, they’re in his hands. And Jungkook—your best friend—knows everything. But he doesn’t say a word. He just watches you, with that same unreadable expression, like he’s waiting for something. And this Valentine’s Day, you might just have to find out what.
Inspired by: To All the Boys I've Loved Before
Word count: 10.2K+
Warnings: arguments, jungkook is a jerk, misunderstandings (a lottt of it), angstttt, reader and jk are huge idiots, mutual pining, implied smut (its not too detailed so that the story maintains the emotional connectivity), romantic intimacy, tooth-rotting fluff.
MOODBOARD
A/N: HERE IT ISSS! this is the longest fic ive written! tysm for all the support yall have given me in the teaser of this fic. i put out a taglist thinking no one would actually want to be a part of it but so many of yall asked to be tagged 😭 im so grateful! tysm i hope you enjoy reading this as much as i enjoyed writng it. lmk ur thoughts abt it after u read too <3 ALSO HAPPY VALENTINES DAYYY (someone date me pls)
The door clicks shut behind you as you step into the dorm, kicking off your shoes with a tired sigh. The evening air still clings to your skin, carrying traces of laughter and the lingering warmth of Jungkook’s presence.
It had been another perfect night—one filled with inside jokes, stolen bites of each other’s food, and his usual exasperated attempts to get you to study.
Joy, your roommate, is nowhere in sight, giving you the solitude you need. You don’t hesitate. Your steps are purposeful as you cross the room, crouching down beside your bed. With practiced ease, you reach under the frame, fingers brushing against the familiar surface of a small pink, heart-shaped box. You pull it out carefully, as if it were a fragile secret, and place it on your lap.
A soft breath escapes you as you grab a nearby pen and a book, neatly tearing out a tiny slip of paper. The motion is second nature now. Without even thinking, you let your emotions spill onto the paper, crafting a fleeting moment into something permanent.
Tonight’s memory is simple, but it still tugs at your heart. Jungkook had sent you another blurry picture of the moon, captioned with a casual, “Looks kinda pretty, right?” He knew how much you loved the moon—how it fascinated you in a way you could never quite put into words. And he had remembered. Of course, he had remembered.
A fond smile tugs at your lips as you write:
Jungkook remembers the little things.
Once the ink dries, you fold the note with care and add it to the collection. The box is almost full now, brimming with countless tiny confessions—whispers of feelings you’ve never had the courage to say aloud. A hundred little moments, a hundred little thoughts, all dedicated to the boy who had unknowingly stolen your heart.
Jungkook.
Jungkook, your best friend, who always saves you the last bite of his food, even when it’s his favorite. Jungkook, who sends you blurry pictures of the moon just because he knows you love them. Jungkook, who insists on studying with you, despite his major being entirely different from yours, just so he can make sure you actually open a book instead of procrastinating.
This little tradition of yours had started as a joke. One night, after an especially soft moment where Jungkook had wordlessly placed his hoodie over your head because you were shivering, you had scribbled on a piece of paper: Jungkook is warmer than the sun.
You had smiled to yourself as you rolled up the paper and dropped it into the box. It had felt oddly nice—preserving that moment, capturing the feeling of it in something tangible. So you did it again. And again. And again.
Until, one day, you realized you had written over a hundred of them.
You hadn’t meant to fall in love. And you certainly hadn’t planned to confess.
But each tiny slip of paper holds a truth your heart refuses to say aloud.
And you're going to keep it a secret forever.
You met Jungkook almost three years ago, during freshman year. The first time you met him, he had been infuriatingly kind.
You had been struggling under the weight of a precariously tall stack of books, barely able to see over them, when suddenly, a few disappeared from the top. Startled, you looked up to see Jungkook grinning at you, effortlessly holding the books you had nearly dropped.
"You looked like you were about to tip over," he teased, his dark eyes twinkling with amusement.
With a playful huff, you had responded, "Maybe I wanted it to tip over."
Jungkook had only laughed, shaking his head. "I'll catch you next time," he had promised.
That night, you had written a tiny note and slipped it into your box: He wants to catch me when I fall, even without me asking.
From that moment on, your friendship grew in ways you hadn’t even noticed at first. Midnight walks and late-night study sessions became routine, pulling you closer together with every shared moment. What had started as swapping notes for the one class you had together turned into sharing secrets. Somewhere along the way, before you even realized it, Jungkook had become your favorite person.
The box was almost full now.
You had written so many things over the years, each note capturing a small piece of him, a fragment of your feelings. Some were simple observations:
Jungkook frowns when he eats something delicious.
His hair is always a mess in the mornings. He hates it, but I love it.
His eyes smile before his lips do.
But one night, you had written something different. Something deeper. Something that felt like the truest thing you had ever put to paper.
I love him.
The moment the ink dried, panic had set in. You had almost torn it up, almost removed it from the box as if keeping it there would somehow make it real. But in the end, you had left it. Because the box was safe. No one was going to see it.
Especially not Jungkook.
One afternoon, you came back from your classes, ready to relax and unwind before the stress of exams fully set in. You had been looking forward to a quiet evening, maybe even a movie marathon with Jungkook to take your mind off things for a while.
But the moment you stepped into your dorm, you felt something was off.
Joy was sitting on the couch, sipping her coffee, her expression smug—too smug. A knowing smirk curled at the corners of her lips as she watched you walk in, and instantly, your stomach twisted with unease.
You narrowed your eyes. "What did you do?"
"I did you a favor," she said casually, taking another slow sip of her coffee.
A cold shiver ran down your spine. "What favor?" you asked, dread creeping into your voice.
Joy grinned. "I found that little cute box of yours."
Your heart stopped. "What?"
"Don't look at me like that," she waved a hand dismissively, as if what she was about to say wasn’t about to shatter your entire world. "It was just sitting there collecting dust, and I thought—what a perfect Valentine's Day gift for Jungkook. So…I wrapped it up and dropped it off at his place."
Silence.
A deafening, all-consuming silence as her words echoed in your head.
"You WHAT?!"
Your entire body froze in place, your breath catching in your throat as horror washed over you in waves. Your chest felt tight, your pulse roaring in your ears.
Joy merely raised an eyebrow, seemingly unbothered by the sheer panic on your face. "You're welcome," she said cheekily—before promptly sprinting out of the room for her life.
But you couldn’t chase after her. You couldn’t move, couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think past the ringing in your ears.
No. No. No.
This couldn't be happening.
Still desperate to deny the possibility, you dropped to your knees and scrambled to check under your bed, your hands shaking as you reached into the familiar space where you had hidden the box for years.
Empty.
It was gone.
The tiny wooden box that held a hundred little moments, a hundred little secrets—your secrets—was gone.
And now it was in Jungkook's hands.
Of all people…Jungkook.
Jungkook lived in an apartment a little further away from your dorm. The second the realization hit, you bolted out the door without a second thought, heart pounding so hard it nearly drowned out the sound of your footsteps against the pavement.
Your plan was simple—get to his apartment before he did. You knew his habits well enough to guess that he was probably grabbing a late lunch at that fast-food place near campus. If luck was on your side, you still had time.
He hadn’t seen it yet.
He couldn’t have seen it yet.
As you ran, your mind spiraled into chaos, bombarding you with every possible scenario—each one worse than the last.
What if he had already opened it?
What if he read through every single note?
What if he found the one that said I love him?
Your stomach twisted painfully at the thought.
Jungkook was your best friend.
He was your person.
And now, he might know that you wanted to be more than just friends.
The mere thought made your chest tighten as memories of the two of you flashed through your mind. The times you spent together at the arcade, the countless movie nights, the time you and Jungkook had crashed Jimin’s birthday party with a ridiculous amount of booze.
And then…there was that moment.
The moment you almost confessed.
"I wish I could find someone who truly understood me," he had said one night, his voice softer than usual, lost in thought.
And you had almost said it. The words had been on the tip of your tongue, so painfully close—"I do."
But you swallowed them down.
Because what if he didn’t feel the same way? What if saying those words ruined everything?
And now, thanks to Joy, you didn’t have a choice anymore. The truth was out there, sitting in a neatly wrapped box in Jungkook’s apartment.
The thought of his reaction sent your mind into overdrive.
Would he laugh?
Would he think it was weird?
Would he—
Would he reject you?
No. No. No.
You shook your head violently as you rounded the corner, lungs burning from the sprint. You’re going to get there before he does. You’re going to take the box back, and he’s never going to know about it.
That was the plan.
It had to work.
As soon as you reached Jungkook’s apartment building, you barely paused to catch your breath. Your legs ached from running, but panic kept you moving. You made a beeline for the mailbox section in the lobby, frantically scanning the names, searching for his.
Box 109.
You yanked it open.
Empty.
Your stomach sank.
Maybe his roommate took it upstairs? Yeah. That had to be it. Maybe it was sitting untouched on the kitchen counter, still wrapped, still safe, still unseen.
You latched onto that sliver of hope as you rushed up the stairs two at a time, unwilling to wait for the elevator. By the time you reached his floor, your hands were shaking. You raised a fist and knocked on the door, urgency making your knuckles sting.
No response.
You knocked again, harder this time.
Then—finally—you heard shuffling from inside. A few footsteps. The creak of the floorboards. A pause.
The door swung open.
And there he was.
Jungkook.
Standing right in front of you, framed in the dim light of his apartment, wearing an oversized grey hoodie that draped over his frame in a way that shouldn't have been so unfairly attractive. His dark hair was slightly damp, messy from a shower, strands falling into his eyes. His lips were parted in surprise, his brows slightly furrowed, and the expression on his face—confused yet soft, dangerously soft—made your already erratic heartbeat lurch violently.
But then, your gaze dropped to his hands.
And the world stopped.
The box.
The open box.
Your box.
Your secret, sacred collection of unsent confessions, of words meant only for the safety of your own solitude. The pieces of your heart you had never dared to show him.
You felt like you were going to be sick.
No, no, no, no—
"You—" You gasped, barely able to form words, chest rising and falling rapidly as you fought for air. "You opened it?"
Jungkook blinked, holding the box loosely in one hand, fingers curled around the edges as if he had been going through its contents just moments ago. He tilted his head, his expression unreadable.
"Yeah," he said simply, as if the weight of the universe hadn’t just come crashing down on you.
Oh. Oh no.
Your legs wobbled. You had to physically stop yourself from collapsing right there in front of him.
His gaze flickered downward, and you followed it instinctively. In his other hand, he held one of the notes. One of your notes. The handwriting was unmistakably yours, a little smudged, a little rushed, but still legible.
He cleared his throat, then read aloud.
"I don’t know when it happened. But one day, he became my favorite person."
Silence.
It stretched on for what felt like an eternity.
You thought you might actually pass out.
"Jungkook, I—" Your voice cracked, but before you could even attempt to explain, he looked up and met your eyes.
And then, to your absolute horror—
He smiled.
Not a teasing smirk, not an awkward grimace, but a real, genuine, knowing smile. A little shy, a little amused, as if the weight of what he had just discovered didn’t terrify him nearly as much as it did you.
And then—oh god—he spoke again.
"So… do you still think my hair looks best when it’s messy?"
Your breath hitched.
Your brain went blank.
You wanted to scream.
The change was almost instant.
In the days that followed, Jungkook became… different.
Not in the way you had imagined, though.
You had been bracing yourself for a talk—a conversation where he’d tell you gently, maybe even apologetically, that he didn’t feel the same way. Or, at the very least, a moment of awkwardness before things slowly went back to normal.
But instead, Jungkook just… pulled away.
It started subtly at first. He stopped texting as much. The late-night calls that once lasted for hours dwindled into one-word replies and seen messages. The casual lunch meetups, the spontaneous arcade runs, the easy, natural way he used to gravitate towards you in a crowded room—all of it changed.
And yet, despite the distance, he never fully let you go.
Instead, he turned it into a joke.
Like today, when he leaned in—far too close for comfort—during your shared class. His voice was low, teasing, the warmth of his breath fanning against your ear.
"So, I’m warmer than the sun, huh?"
You stiffened instantly, your hands tightening around your pen. He pulled back with a smirk, his dark eyes glittering with mischief as he watched your reaction unfold in real-time.
It was unbearable.
He kept doing it.
Whenever you tried to talk to him—really talk to him—he would either dodge the conversation entirely or turn it into something lighthearted, something unserious.
Like the time you finally found him alone, determined to just get it over with, to ask what had changed between you two. Before you could even get the words out, he cut you off with another one of those smirks, his voice laced with amusement.
"So I look best in black? Good to know."
And then he walked away.
That was when you finally got the message.
Jungkook had taken it as a joke.
He didn’t care about your feelings.
It was like the caring, affectionate boy you had known for years had vanished the moment your heart had been laid bare. Like now that the truth was out in the open, he didn’t know how to handle it—so he chose to mock it instead.
And worst of all?
He was pulling away from you completely.
The time you used to spend together? Gone. He was hanging out with other people now, filling his days with anyone but you. And when you did manage to cross paths, he only acknowledged you through those insufferable little comments, those cruel reminders of the things you had never meant for him to see.
It hurt. More than you wanted to admit.
Because maybe—just maybe—you had hoped that if he knew how you felt…
He wouldn’t push you away like this.
The next week brought the on-campus career fair—an event mandatory for all students. You weren’t particularly excited about it, but at least it was a distraction, something to keep your mind occupied.
Or so you thought.
Because that’s when you saw him.
And he wasn’t alone.
He was walking around with Hana, a junior from your college. They moved easily through the crowd, side by side, completely immersed in conversation. And then, to make things even worse—he laughed.
A real laugh. The kind that made his nose scrunch up and his eyes crinkle, the kind you hadn’t heard in what felt like forever.
Your stomach twisted.
You weren’t expecting him to make it this obvious.
If he wanted to reject you, fine. If he didn’t feel the same way, you could live with that. But did he really have to parade it around like this?
Maybe this was his way of sending a message. Maybe he wanted you to know, without actually having to say it out loud.
A silent rejection.
What a jerk.
These days, you barely have the motivation to attend classes. You go through the motions—waking up, dragging yourself to campus, sitting through lectures—but your mind isn’t really there.
Because no matter how hard you try to distract yourself, the brutal reality of rejection lingers like a shadow, following you everywhere you go.
Jungkook threw away your feelings like they meant nothing.
You should have expected it, right? You should have known this was how it would turn out.
Maybe you were never meant to be anything more than a friend to him. Maybe, the moment he realized you held deeper feelings for him, he got scared. Or worse—maybe he just didn’t care at all.
The thought makes your chest ache.
Jungkook has always been a romantic at heart. You’ve seen it in the way he talks about love, in the way he watches romance movies with a dreamy look in his eyes. But clearly, you were never part of that dream.
And now, because of your stupid feelings, you’ve ruined everything.
You used to be his best friend. The one he joked around with, the one he trusted, the one he leaned on.
But now?
Now he barely looks at you.
And if he does, it's only to throw some teasing remark your way—like your feelings were some kind of joke.
The person you were most angry at was Joy.
Not Jungkook. Not yourself.
Joy.
Because none of this would have happened if she had just left that damn box alone.
That day after the box incident, the moment you stepped back into your dorm, she was there, lounging on the couch like nothing had happened. She glanced up as you walked in, a smirk already forming on her lips.
“I didn’t expect you to come back so early. I thought you guys would—” she wiggled her eyebrows—“get freaky after the whole confession, you know?”
She laughed, expecting you to groan or throw a pillow at her like usual.
But then she saw your face.
Her laughter faded. “Wait… what happened?”
You didn’t answer. You just walked past her and sank into the couch, staring at nothing, your mind still replaying every moment from earlier—Jungkook’s teasing, his smirk, his distance.
You heard Joy shuffle closer, her voice softer now. “I… I’m sorry. Did I send the gift too early? Did Jungkook not like it?”
You let out a hollow laugh. “Oh, no, he loved it.” You turned to her, your voice dripping with sarcasm. “Thank you so much for your help, Joy.”
Her expression faltered. “Wait… what do you mean?”
You shook your head, exhaling sharply. “Jungkook probably thinks I’m pathetic now.”
Joy winced. She sat beside you on the couch, guilt written all over her face. “I— I really thought—” she hesitated, chewing on her lip. “I was so sure, though. That boy always had heart eyes for you.”
You let out a bitter chuckle. “Well, now you know he didn’t.”
Silence settled between you both.
And for the first time, Joy didn’t have anything to say.
The next time you see Jungkook, he’s with Hana again.
They’re standing by one of the campus notice boards, deep in conversation. You don’t mean to eavesdrop—you’re not even sure why you stop—but the moment you hear them talking, something in your gut tells you to listen.
Hana tilts her head, her voice low but clear. “Are you sure she won't find out?”
Jungkook sighs, rubbing the back of his neck. “I don’t know… Maybe it's better this way”
Your breath catches in your throat.
Your first instinct is denial—maybe they’re not talking about you. Maybe it’s about someone else entirely. But deep down, you know.
As far as you’re aware, there isn’t another she in Jungkook’s life. Not before. Not when you were still close.
You’ve already been replaced.
Your chest aches as you piece it together. He doesn't want you to find out—because he's probably in a relationship with Hana now. Because he doesn’t want to hurt you with a direct rejection, he thinks hiding his relationship with her is the kinder option.
It isn’t.
You swallow the lump in your throat and force yourself to step back, turning away from the scene before you can hear any more.
You decide then—no matter how much it hurts, no matter how pathetic it makes you feel—you can’t bear being apart from Jungkook.
Even if he doesn’t love you back.
Even if he only sees you as a friend.
Losing him completely? That’s not something you’re ready for. Maybe you never will be.
So, you do the only thing you can think of.
You wait for him after class.
Your heart pounds against your ribs as you watch the door, your hands clammy with nerves. When Jungkook finally steps out, your breath catches. He looks the same—same hoodie, same soft brown eyes—but everything feels different now.
Taking a deep breath, you step forward.
"I get it, okay?" you say, voice firm despite the way your throat tightens. "You don’t like me. And that’s fine. I hope she makes you happy."
Jungkook halts mid-step.
His jaw clenches. His fists curl at his sides.
"You don’t understand," he mutters.
"Then make me understand, Jungkook," you plead. You take a shaky breath, forcing yourself to keep going, even as your last shred of dignity slips through your fingers. "Can we still be friends, at least?"
Silence.
Jungkook doesn’t reply.
And somehow, that hurts more than rejection ever could.
There's a party happening, hosted by one of the biggest party animals on campus. Everyone is invited, and Joy insists that you go.
After much convincing, you finally give in. You've mended things with her—finally forgiven her. Maybe it wasn’t entirely her fault. Maybe you just needed someone to blame.
You decide to go, hoping for a distraction. Maybe the music, the drinks, and the endless chatter will help you forget, even if just for a night.
But you already know Jungkook will be there.
Probably Hana too.
And that's fine.
You'll just stay out of their way.
The party is in full swing when you arrive—loud music, flashing lights, bodies moving wildly on the dance floor, and the unmistakable smell of booze in the air. Bottles are being passed around, and the energy is electric.
A few friends from your classes spot you and pull you in, offering drinks. You take them all without hesitation, reaching for the strongest ones, letting the alcohol burn away the ache in your chest.
Jungkook is nowhere in sight.
Good. Maybe he didn’t come. Maybe you can actually enjoy yourself tonight.
With the alcohol settling in, your limbs feel lighter, your mind a little hazy. You dance to the outdated playlist blaring through the speakers, laugh with strangers, and let yourself let go—just for a while.
But after some time, it all feels like too much. The heat, the noise, the overwhelming buzz in your veins. You slip away from the crowd and make your way to the rooftop, breathing in the crisp night air, letting it cool your flushed skin.
And then you sense it—someone else's presence.
You turn, your head spinning slightly, and there he is.
Jungkook.
You blink, wondering if you're imagining him, but his gaze is fixed on you, a slight furrow between his brows. There's something like concern in his expression as he watches you, taking in your drunken state.
Your heart stumbles in your chest.
The alcohol makes everything feel lighter—your body, your thoughts, your inhibitions. So when you see Jungkook standing there, looking at you with that unreadable expression, the words just spill out before you can stop them.
“I liked you, you know,” you mumble, swaying slightly. “But now I realize… I was just wasting my time.”
Jungkook doesn’t react. No apology, no denial, not even a flicker of emotion across his face.
He just exhales softly, shoving his hands into his pockets. “You’ll be fine,” he says simply, then turns on his heel and walks away.
Just like that.
The cool night air suddenly feels suffocating, the weight in your chest heavier than ever. You watch his retreating figure, your heart shattering all over again.
The next morning, you wake up with the nastiest headache ever. Your head throbs, your mouth is dry, and your body feels like it’s been wrung out. You groan, forcing yourself to sit up as the hazy memories from last night slowly piece themselves together.
Jungkook. The rooftop. The way he just… walked away like he didn’t care.
You shake the thought from your mind, dragging yourself out of bed. There’s no point dwelling on it. Your exams are approaching, and you need to focus.
Deciding to get some studying done, you head to the library. The quiet atmosphere should help clear your head—or at least distract you from the mess that is your life.
But the moment you step inside, your breath catches.
Jungkook is sitting at the table you both used to frequent, completely absorbed in scribbling something into a notebook. For a second, you consider turning around, but then something catches your eye.
He rips out a small piece of paper, folds it neatly, and—without hesitation—slips it into a glass jar sitting beside him.
Your heart clenches.
Is it for Hana?
You don’t stick around to find out. Before Jungkook can notice you, you turn on your heel and walk away.
February 10th. Your birthday.
You wake up with a small flicker of hope. Maybe today would be different. Maybe Jungkook had been ignoring you all this time because he was planning something—some kind of surprise. That had to be it, right?
Surely.
So you wait.
By 3 PM, your phone is filled with messages—friends, family, even distant relatives reaching out to wish you. Everyone but Jungkook.
Not even a single text.
The hope that had carried you through the day starts to crumble, replaced by a hollow ache in your chest. You don’t go to class. What’s the point? This might just be the worst birthday ever.
That’s when Joy bursts into your room with a grin.
"You got a package!" she announces, holding out a neatly wrapped box.
Your heart leaps.
Jungkook?
You rush over, fingers fumbling as you tear open the wrapping—only for your stomach to drop.
It’s from your parents.
Disappointment washes over you, but you push it aside. They went through the trouble of sending you something, and you should be grateful. You take a deep breath, forcing a smile as you pick up your phone and call them.
"Thank you," you say, voice steady. Because at least someone remembered.
There was still time.
It was only evening—plenty of hours left before midnight. Jungkook would surely text before then. He had to.
Joy, noticing your gloomy mood, tries to lift your spirits. "Come on, let’s go out drinking. Have some fun, at least for your birthday."
But you shake your head. "I’m not in the mood."
She sighs, clearly frustrated but doesn’t push you. Instead, she flops onto your bed, staring at the ceiling. "I hate this," she mutters. "I hate seeing you like this. And I hate him for treating you this way."
Her voice is laced with anger, but there’s something else there too—guilt.
Because deep down, Joy still blames herself.
If she hadn’t sent that gift early, if she hadn’t tried to play cupid, maybe things wouldn’t have turned out this way. Maybe you wouldn’t be spending your birthday like this—waiting for a boy who might never come around.
Jungkook didn’t text that day.
He forgot your birthday.
You waited all day, checking your phone every few minutes, hoping for a message that never came. Midnight passed, and still—nothing.
The realization settles deep in your chest, heavier than you expected. You feel pathetic.
Pathetic for hoping. Pathetic for waiting. Pathetic for still caring.
It’s the day before Valentine’s Day.
You can’t afford to miss any more classes. You haven’t stepped foot on campus since your birthday, but today, you decide to go.
You have no motivation to see or talk to anyone. You tell yourself that you’ll just quietly attend your classes and head straight back home. No distractions. No unnecessary interactions.
But as soon as you reach campus, you notice a crowd gathering. There’s some kind of matchmaking event happening for Valentine’s Day tomorrow.
Great. Just great.
Everything about it feels like the universe is mocking you, rubbing salt on an already raw wound. Heart-shaped decorations, pink confetti floating in the air, and couples laughing—completely oblivious to how suffocating it feels for you.
You try to move past the crowd, but suddenly, someone pushes forward, and you get caught in the chaos. You stumble, losing your balance—bracing for impact—
But you don’t hit the ground.
Because Jungkook catches you.
His hands grip your arms, steadying you out of instinct. His touch is firm and warm, familiar in a way that makes your chest ache.
For the first time in days, you look up at him. And for the first time in days, he looks right back at you.
He doesn’t let go of you immediately.
His grip stays firm, his fingers pressing into your arms like he’s grounding himself, like he’s hesitating. His throat bobs as he swallows hard, his lips parting slightly—like he’s about to say something.
The music playing in the background fades into a distant hum. Everything around you slows. The laughter, the chatter, the festival lights—it all blurs.
All that’s left is him.
Still holding you.
Your voice barely comes out, a whisper against the space between you.
“Do you even care, Jungkook?”
His hands tighten for a fraction of a second. His jaw clenches. And for a brief, fleeting moment, you think you see something—something raw and unspoken flash through his eyes.
But then, like a switch flipping, he lets go.
So fast that you nearly stumble again.
"No, Y/N. I don’t."
His words cut through the air, sharp and merciless.
Then he turns. Walks away.
And you’re left standing there, alone in the middle of a festival meant for love.
This is it.
This is your answer.
Jungkook has made his choice.
And now, it’s time for you to make yours.
You have to move on.
That night, you decide—Jungkook was never meant to be yours.
It’s a painful truth, one you’ve been avoiding, but tonight, you accept it.
Needing a distraction, you start clearing out your closet, pulling out old clothes, forgotten trinkets, anything to keep your hands busy. That’s when you see it.
The pink heart-shaped box.
Your breath hitches.
You had snatched it from his hands that day, barely able to meet his gaze before bolting out of his apartment and driving straight back to your dorm. You had shoved it deep into your closet, hoping that if you buried it away, you could bury your feelings too.
For a moment, you consider throwing it away. What’s the point of holding onto it now? Jungkook knows. He read the notes, saw every piece of your heart laid bare. And in the end, it changed nothing.
Your fingers tremble as you lift the lid.
One by one, you pull out the little folded papers, unfolding memories you once held so close.
"I don’t know when it happened, but one day, he became my favourite person."
"His laugh is my favorite sound."
"I wish he knew how much he means to me."
Tears blur your vision.
You never wanted him to know.
Because you never wanted to lose him.
And now, you have.
The weight of it crashes over you all at once, and before you can stop it, the tears spill over, hot and relentless.
You clutch the notes to your chest as silent sobs wrack your body.
You’ve been holding the pain in for too long.
So tonight, you let the dams break.
And you cry yourself to sleep.
It’s Valentine’s Day.
You feel miserable.
Forget having a Valentine this year—you don’t even have a best friend anymore.
So you stay in bed all day, buried under the covers, refusing to acknowledge the world outside.
Your mind drifts, unbidden, to last year’s Valentine’s Day.
You and Jungkook had gone out for dinner—not as lovers, not as anything more than friends, just two people who didn’t have dates. You remember how he laughed at the terrible restaurant music, how he stole fries from your plate like they were his.
You miss it.
No—wait. You shouldn’t be thinking about him.
Shaking off the thought, you grab your Nintendo Switch and start playing, trying to distract yourself.
Then the doorbell rings.
You ignore it. Joy is probably home—she’ll get it.
But it rings again.
What is Joy doing?
Then it hits you—she probably stayed over at her boyfriend’s place last night.
With a groan, you push off the covers and make your way to the door. You swing it open, ready to shoo away whoever it is—
But there’s no one there.
Your gaze drops to the ground.
And then you see it.
A singular jar, placed carefully on the doormat.
You stare at the jar, a strange sense of familiarity creeping in, but you can’t quite place it.
Where have you seen something like this before?
Your mind scrambles for an answer, flipping through memories like pages in a book, but nothing surfaces.
With hesitant fingers, you reach down and pick it up, feeling the cool glass against your palm. It’s heavier than you expected.
That’s when you notice the writing on the lid, scrawled in red marker.
"To Y/N."
Your heart stutters.
You blink, trying to steady your breath, but the moment feels unreal—like you’ve stepped into a dream.
It’s only then that you notice the jar is filled with tiny rolled-up notes, crammed inside like secrets waiting to be unraveled.
Your mind starts spiraling.
What is this? Who left it? Why does it have your name?
Your hands tremble as you twist the lid open, the slight pop of the seal echoing in the silence.
You reach inside, fingers brushing against the countless little slips of paper.
With bated breath, you pull one out.
You carefully unroll it, eyes scanning the words scribbled in rushed, familiar handwriting.
"I lied."
That’s all it says.
Two words.
Your breath catches in your throat as your eyes trace the messy yet unmistakable handwriting.
Jungkook.
Your fingers tighten around the note as your pulse quickens.
It’s his.
The realization slams into you with a force that leaves you momentarily stunned.
Your breath turns shallow as the memory crashes into you—
Yesterday.
The crowd. The music. The overwhelming blur of people around you.
You had stumbled, nearly falling, only for Jungkook to catch you. For a fleeting moment, he held you close. His grip was firm, his expression unreadable.
You had searched his face, your voice barely above a whisper.
"Do you even care, Jungkook?"
You had wanted him to say yes. Even a little. Anything to make the ache in your chest feel less unbearable.
But instead—
"No, Y/N. I don’t."
His words had cut deeper than you ever thought possible.
And then he had let go. So fast, like touching you had burned him. Like you meant nothing at all.
You remember the way your heart had cracked, the way he had disappeared into the sea of people, leaving you stranded in the middle of a festival meant for love.
But now—
Now you stand here, gripping a jar full of his words.
"I lied."
Your hands fumble as you reach into the jar again, pulling out another note.
Unrolling it with shaky fingers, you read:
"I thought if I pushed you away, it’d be easier for you to move on. But the truth is, I don’t want you to."
A sharp pang strikes your chest.
Your mind reels, and suddenly, you're back at the rooftop party—drunk, vulnerable, spilling your heart out in slurred words.
“I liked you, you know? But now I realize I was just wasting my time.”
Jungkook had stood there, silent, unreadable, his hands stuffed in his pockets.
No apology. No denial. Nothing.
And then, just as effortlessly, he had turned away.
"You'll be fine," he'd said before walking off, leaving you alone in the cold night.
The memory burns like an open wound, and yet, here you are, standing in your doorway, holding the truth he should have told you that night in the palm of your hands.
Your fingers tremble as you pull out the next note.
"I missed your birthday on purpose because I wanted to give you something that lasts longer than a text."
Your breath hitches.
He didn’t forget?
He chose not to text?
A bitter chuckle escapes your lips, but it fades just as quickly as the weight of his words settles in.
You reach into the jar again, pulling out another note, heart pounding against your ribs.
What you didn’t know was—
Jungkook had spent hours writing your birthday note.
He had sat at his desk that night, a dozen crumpled papers around him, rewriting the same message over and over, never satisfied. His hands had been shaky when he finally folded the note and slipped it into the jar.
Because words were permanent.
Because he was afraid.
Because deep down, he knew—if he told you how much you really meant to him, he wouldn’t be able to push you away anymore.
And that terrified him.
Your grip on the jar tightens as you pull out the next note.
"I was scared you’d see me in the library that day. And you did. I almost stopped writing. But I wanted to finish this for you."
Your breath catches in your throat as a memory rushes back—
The library.
That afternoon, when you had finally dragged yourself back to campus to study for your exams, you had seen him sitting at your usual table, scribbling something into his notebook.
At the time, you thought nothing of it—until you watched him tear out a tiny slip of paper and slip it into a jar.
A jar.
The very same one you now hold in your trembling hands.
Back then, you had turned away, assuming it was for Hana.
But it wasn’t.
It was for you.
Every note in this jar was for you.
Your vision blurs as you stare down at the tiny rolled-up messages still waiting to be read.
He had been writing to you all along.
By the time you reach the last few notes, your hands are trembling. Maybe you can’t even read them through the tears clouding your vision. The weight of all those misunderstandings—every ignored confession, every painful silence, every moment you thought he didn’t care—crashes down on you all at once.
Your breath is uneven as you unroll another slip of paper.
"You thought I didn’t care. But I did. I always did."
A sob escapes your lips, the ache in your chest unbearable.
You clutch the jar against you like it’s the most precious thing you’ve ever held—because it is. Because it’s him.
Every unspoken word. Every hidden feeling. Every truth he was too afraid to say aloud.
And now, you finally know.
Your breath catches as you reach the bottom of the jar, realizing the significance—there are exactly 100 notes, just like the box you once gave him.
With shaky hands, you pull out the 99th note.
“I was always bad at saying things out loud. So I wrote them instead. I just hope it’s not too late for you to read them.”
Your chest tightens.
You take a deep breath and reach for the last note, your fingers trembling. Slowly, you unroll it, heart pounding in your ears.
“Y/N, will you be my Valentine?”
The paper almost slips from your fingers as your vision blurs with fresh tears. A shaky laugh escapes your lips, somewhere between disbelief and overwhelming emotion.
After everything, after all the silence, the pain, the misunderstandings—he’s finally saying it.
And suddenly, all that matters is what you’ll do next.
The moment the words register, you don’t think.
The jar nearly slips from your grasp as you scramble to your feet, your heartbeat hammering louder than the thoughts racing through your mind. Jungkook. He couldn’t have gone far—he must have just dropped it off.
You fling the door open, barefoot, barely even stopping to grab your keys. The cold air bites at your skin, but you don’t care. You sprint down the stairs, nearly stumbling in your rush to get outside.
Your eyes dart wildly around the street, your breath coming out in frantic puffs. Where is he?
Then, you see him.
A few feet away, Jungkook is walking slowly, hands in his pockets, head low like he’s already bracing for disappointment. Like he’s already convinced you won’t come after him.
But you do.
“Jungkook!”
He freezes.
You don’t stop running until you’re right in front of him, breathless, clutching the jar close to your chest like it’s the only thing anchoring you to the moment.
His eyes widen when he sees you—messy hair, no shoes, trembling hands still gripping his gift like it’s the most important thing in the world.
You swallow hard, voice shaking. “Did you mean it?”
Jungkook looks at you for a long moment, the night stretching between you like a fragile thread.
Then, barely above a whisper—“Yeah.”
Your chest heaves, breath uneven, voice shaking as you clutch the jar tighter.
"You absolute—jerk." Your voice wavers, but the anger, the hurt, the sheer weight of everything he’s put you through spills out in every word. "You sat there, letting me think I meant nothing to you. And the whole time, you were—" You shake the jar, almost laughing in disbelief. "—writing these?"
Jungkook doesn’t answer. He just stands there, hands stuffed in his pockets, jaw tight, like he’s bracing himself for whatever you’re about to say next.
"You could’ve just told me, Jungkook. You could’ve just—" You pause, gripping the jar like it’s the only thing holding you together. "Why? Why lie to me?"
He exhales sharply, his voice rough, like he’s been holding it in for too long.
"Because I was a coward."
You blink. You weren’t expecting him to admit it so easily.
Jungkook runs a hand through his hair, looking away. "I thought pushing you away was the right thing to do. If I let you think I didn’t care, maybe you’d move on. Maybe you’d find someone who wouldn’t hurt you like I did."
Your throat tightens. Your fingers dig into the glass of the jar. "You were the one hurting me, Jungkook."
His eyes finally meet yours, and the weight of them almost knocks the air from your lungs. He looks wrecked.
"I know." His voice is barely above a whisper.
"Then why?" Your voice trembles, frustration bubbling over. "Why did you let me think I was chasing something that wasn’t even there?"
His jaw clenches, and for a second, he doesn’t answer. But then, his voice comes, low and raw.
"Because I was afraid you’d realize you deserved better."
Silence settles between you. A silence so thick it presses against your chest, making it hard to breathe.
You stare at him, your vision blurring. You should walk away. You should scream, cry—anything. But instead, you do the only thing you can think of.
You reach into the jar, grab a note at random, and shove it into his hand. "Read it."
Jungkook hesitates. Then, slowly, he unfolds the paper. His fingers tremble as he reads the words he once wrote.
"If I had been braver, I would’ve told you every single day how much you meant to me."
He sucks in a sharp breath, gripping the paper like it’s the only thing keeping him grounded. His eyes flick back up to yours, burning with something you can’t quite name.
"Say it now," you whisper.
Jungkook's breath catches. His grip on the note tightens like it’s the only thing keeping him together.
You wait. Trembling, heart pounding, eyes locked onto his. Daring him to finally, finally say it.
He exhales shakily. His voice is low, rough—like it hurts to speak, but he does anyway.
"Y/N…"
You don’t look away. Don’t let him run from this.
His throat bobs. His hand curls into a fist at his side, then slowly unclenches.
"I love you."
A sharp inhale cuts through you. Even though you were waiting for it, the words hit like a tidal wave.
Jungkook shakes his head, almost laughing, but there’s no humor in it—just raw, aching regret.
"I loved you then. I love you now. And I don’t think there’s a single version of me that won’t love you."
Your vision blurs, the weight of everything pressing down on you all at once.
"Then why—" your voice cracks, "—why did you let me think you didn’t?"
Jungkook exhales sharply, raking a hand through his hair. His face twists with something close to pain.
"Because I was scared." His voice is barely above a whisper. "Scared that if I let myself have you, I’d ruin you. Scared that you’d wake up one day and realize I wasn’t worth it."
Your hands clench at your sides. "You don’t get to decide that for me."
He nods. Swallows hard. Takes a step closer.
"I know." His voice is softer now. "And if I could go back, I’d do it all differently. But I can’t. All I can do is stand here and tell you—"
Your lips crash into his, years of longing and heartbreak unraveling in a single, desperate moment. Your fingers fist into his jacket, pulling him closer, closing the distance like you’ve been waiting forever. Because you have.
Jungkook catches you. His arms wind tight around your waist, grounding you, anchoring you like he’s afraid you’ll slip away again. His grip is firm, unyielding, as if holding you is the only thing that makes sense anymore.
The kiss isn’t soft—it’s frantic, raw, filled with all the words you never got to say. It’s a confession, an apology, a plea. His lips move against yours with urgency, pouring everything into it, like he’s trying to make up for every second he spent pushing you away.
Jungkook tilts his head, deepening the kiss, and a shiver runs through you as his fingers tangle into your hair, tugging just enough to make your breath hitch. His other hand spreads against your back, pressing you impossibly closer, like even this isn’t enough, like he’d fuse you together if he could.
You melt. Every wall you built, every ounce of anger, every misunderstanding—crumbling, dissolving into the heat of him. The way he kisses you feels like an answer to a question you didn’t know you were asking. Like a promise.
When you finally pull apart, neither of you lets go.
Jungkook rests his forehead against yours, his breath mingling with yours, still uneven, still shaken. His hands remain on your waist like he’s afraid that the second he lets go, this will all disappear.
Your fingers stay curled in his shirt, gripping the fabric like it’s the only thing keeping you grounded.
His voice is raw when he finally speaks, barely more than a whisper. “I don’t deserve you.”
You exhale, shaking your head, the weight of everything still pressing against your chest. Your voice is quiet, but steady. “Then spend every day proving that you do.”
Jungkook lets out a soft laugh—one that sounds broken and real, like he can’t believe he’s still allowed to have this moment with you.
“Deal,” he murmurs.
And then he kisses you again.
The door barely clicks shut before Jungkook is on you again, his hands framing your face as his lips crash into yours. There’s no hesitation now, no careful restraint—only heat, only the raw, aching need that’s been simmering between you for far too long.
His body presses against yours, pushing you back into the door, and you gasp against his lips. He swallows the sound, deepening the kiss, his tongue sweeping over yours with slow, deliberate intent. He tastes like something addictive—like want, like longing, like the kind of hunger that makes your stomach tighten and your knees go weak.
Your fingers tangle in his hair, pulling him closer, needing him closer. His hands roam down, slipping under the hem of your shirt, fingertips skimming along your bare skin. His touch is scorching, leaving a trail of fire wherever he moves. He pauses, his breath ragged, lips barely brushing yours.
"Tell me to stop," he murmurs, voice rough, uneven.
You shake your head, tilting your chin up until your lips ghost over his again. "I don’t want you to stop."
The words break something inside him.
His mouth crashes onto yours again, hungrier this time, more desperate. His hands slide up your back, pulling you flush against him, and you can feel the hard lines of his body, the way his chest rises and falls unsteadily against yours. One hand grips your waist, fingers digging in just enough to make you shudder, while the other slides lower, gripping your thigh and hitching it up against his hip.
A quiet moan escapes you at the feeling, and he groans in response, pressing harder into you. His lips leave yours, trailing a path down your jaw, to the sensitive spot beneath your ear, where he lingers. His teeth scrape lightly against your skin before he soothes it with his tongue, sucking gently, enough to make you arch into him, enough to make your breath hitch.
"Jungkook—" His name leaves your lips in a breathless whisper, and he exhales sharply against your skin, like the sound is enough to undo him.
His grip tightens as he lifts you effortlessly, hands settling under your thighs. Instinct takes over, and your legs wrap around his waist as he carries you across the room. He lays you down on the bed with care, but there’s nothing careful about the way he follows you down, covering your body with his own.
He hovers above you, his breath warm against your lips, his dark eyes searching yours. His thumb brushes over your cheek, then lower, tracing the curve of your bottom lip, his touch unbearably light.
"You’re sure?" he whispers, voice thick with something heady.
Your only answer is a whispered "Yes," breathless, certain.
Something shifts in him at your words. His lips find yours again, but this time, he takes his time—exploring, savoring, as if he wants to memorize every inch of you. His kisses trail downward, along the curve of your neck, across your collarbone, his mouth mapping out a path of heat and sensation. His hands move with just as much purpose, slipping under fabric, pushing it aside, fingers tracing bare skin with an intimacy that makes your pulse stutter.
Every brush of his lips, every slow, deliberate touch sends waves of electricity through you, igniting something deep and primal. Clothes are discarded in slow, teasing movements, the heat between you building with every layer that falls away.
His lips ghost over your shoulder, down your arm, over the curve of your breasts, his breath hot and uneven. He watches you, eyes dark with something intense, something almost reverent, as his fingers trace slow, lazy patterns along your bare skin.
"You’re so beautiful," he murmurs, voice filled with something deeper than desire.
You reach for him, pulling him back up, needing his mouth on yours again, needing more. He obliges, kissing you fiercely, like he never wants to stop, like this moment has been waiting to happen for far too long.
His hands explore moving towards your heat, his touch reverent yet possessive, like he’s memorizing every inch of you, like he’s making up for all the lost time. You arch into him, breath hitching, hands gripping onto his shoulders as heat coils low in your stomach.
"Jungkook," you whisper, his name falling from your lips like a plea.
His breath catches, and he exhales shakily. "I’ve got you," he murmurs against your skin, voice barely above a whisper. "I’m right here."
And then there’s no more talking—only movement, only passion, only the feeling of finally, finally being exactly where you both belong.
The air is thick with warmth, bodies tangled beneath the sheets, hearts pounding in tandem as the last echoes of your shared breaths settle between you. The world outside might still be turning, but in this moment, it doesn’t exist. It’s just you and him, skin against skin, the weight of what just happened pressing down like the softest, heaviest thing in the world.
Your body is spent, muscles trembling faintly from the aftershocks, but you don’t move. You can’t.
Jungkook is still holding you. One arm draped lazily around your waist, the other tracing absentminded patterns against your back. His touch is slow, soothing, like he’s still trying to convince himself you’re real. Like if he lets go, you might slip away.
You stay like that for a while, chests rising and falling in sync, your head resting just above his heart. The rhythm of it is steady now, no longer racing like it had been just moments ago. Still, there’s a softness to it, an unspoken question lingering in the quiet space between you.
It’s you who finally breaks it.
“So…” You shift slightly, fingers trailing absentmindedly along his chest. “Hana knew about the jar?”
His hand stills for the briefest moment before he exhales a small, breathy laugh. His voice is thick with exhaustion, but there’s amusement in it too.
“She didn’t just know about it.” His fingers resume their slow, idle circles against your bare skin. “It was her idea.”
You blink. “…What?”
Jungkook hums in confirmation, the corner of his mouth quirking up. “Yeah. She was the one who told me to do it—to fill a jar with everything I wanted to say but couldn’t.” He pauses, then adds, “She also threatened to expose me if I didn’t.”
You scoff, though you can’t help the warmth blooming in your chest. “So let me get this straight… You couldn’t tell me how you felt, but you told Hana?”
Jungkook turns his head slightly to look at you, eyes still heavy with sleep, but the amusement in them is undeniable. “I didn’t tell her. She just… figured it out.”
Of course, she did.
You huff, feigning annoyance, but your fingers betray you, tracing soft, aimless patterns along his collarbone. “Still. She knew before I did.”
Jungkook grins, rolling onto his side to face you fully. One hand slips beneath the sheets, finding your waist, pulling you closer until there’s no space left between you. His voice is low when he asks, “Are you jealous?”
You glare at him. “Shut up.”
His laughter vibrates against your skin, rich and warm, before he dips down to kiss you—slow and lingering, like he’s trying to pour everything he can’t say into it. When he finally pulls back, his forehead rests against yours, his breath mingling with yours in the quiet.
Then, softer now, more serious, he murmurs, “Are you gonna answer me?”
Your brow furrows slightly. “Answer what?”
Jungkook leans over, reaching toward the nightstand where the jar still sits, its notes untouched—except for the last one.
“The question,” he says, retrieving the single unfolded slip of paper. He holds it between you, and even though you already know what it says, your heart still stutters when your eyes skim over the words again.
Y/N, will you be my Valentine?
Earlier, you had left it unanswered, too overwhelmed by everything that had come before it. But now, after everything—after confessions, after heartbreak, after finally finding each other again—there’s no hesitation.
You reach out, plucking the note from his fingers. Slowly, carefully, you fold it again, tucking it beneath your pillow like something precious, something worth keeping. Then, meeting his gaze, you whisper, “You never needed to ask.”
Jungkook exhales, slow and shaky, like something inside him has finally settled. His hand cups your cheek, his thumb brushing over your skin like he’s memorizing the moment.
“Good,” he murmurs, voice thick with emotion. “Because I wasn’t planning on taking no for an answer.”
Your breath catches. Not because of his confidence—but because, deep down, you realize you’d never wanted to say no in the first place. Maybe you had tried to fight it. Maybe you had convinced yourself that the past had built too many walls between you. But now, lying here in the warmth of his arms, the truth settles into your bones like something that had been waiting for you to accept it all along.
It had always been him.
Your fingers tighten in the sheets as you search his gaze, looking for hesitation, for doubt—for something to make this feel less like a dream. But there’s nothing. Just him. Just you. Just this moment you both fought so hard to reach.
Jungkook watches you, waiting, always waiting, his hand still resting against your cheek as if he’s afraid you’ll disappear.
So you close the distance.
You kiss him slowly this time, letting it sink in. The warmth of his lips, the taste of him still lingering, the way he exhales like he’s been holding his breath for years. When you pull away, his forehead rests against yours, both of you breathing the same air, hearts beating in time.
And then, with a quiet, knowing smile, you whisper, “Then don’t.”
Jungkook’s lips part slightly, his expression shifting—softening, melting—as if those two words had knocked down every last barrier between you. And maybe they had. Because before you can say anything else, he’s pulling you against him again, tucking you close, his hand slipping into yours beneath the sheets.
Neither of you speak for a long time after that. You don’t need to.
Outside, the world keeps turning, time moving forward just as it always does. But here, in the hush of your dorm room, wrapped up in him, it feels like the universe has paused just for you.
Not to make up for lost time.
But to remind you that some things—some people—were never really lost at all.
And maybe, just maybe, they never would be.
EPILOGUE : Years Later – Valentine’s Day
The door clicks shut behind you as you step into the apartment, kicking off your shoes with a tired sigh. The evening air still clings to your skin, carrying traces of laughter and the lingering warmth of Jungkook’s presence.
It had been another perfect night—one filled with inside jokes, stolen bites of each other’s food, and his usual exasperated attempts to get you to pick a restaurant instead of saying, “Anything’s fine.”
Jungkook is nowhere in sight, giving you the solitude you need. You don’t hesitate. Your steps are purposeful as you cross the room, crouching down beside the bed. With practiced ease, you reach under the frame, fingers brushing against the familiar surface of a small pink, heart-shaped box.
But this time, there’s something else.
Your fingers find the jar—the one that started it all.
You pull them both out carefully, as if they were a fragile secret, and place them on your lap.
Soft footsteps approach. Then, a familiar weight sinks onto the mattress beside you.
Jungkook’s voice is quieter now, fond. “Didn’t think I’d see those again.”
You smile, running a thumb over the worn edges of the box before glancing at him. “I don’t know what made me reach for them.”
He hums, gaze flickering between the objects in your hands. “Habit, maybe. Or fate.” Then, smirking, “You always did have a thing for digging up answers.”
Rolling your eyes, you pop the lid off the jar, fingers fishing out an old note. The paper is creased, the ink slightly faded, but you already know what it says.
"Y/N, will you be my Valentine?"
Jungkook watches you, expectant. “You never actually answered me, you know.”
You exhale a laugh, shaking your head. “Jungkook, we’re literally married.”
“And?” He leans in, teasing. “I’m just saying, a verbal confirmation wouldn’t hurt.”
You scoff but humor him anyway, fingers curling into his sweater as you whisper against his lips—
"Yes, Jungkook. I’ll be your Valentine."
His arms wrap around you, pulling you in. The jar sits forgotten on the floor, the pink box nestled beside it.
Once upon a time, you had pulled it out, searching for clarity. Looking for a sign.
You didn’t realize then—you never needed the answers inside.
Because you’d already found them.
Because you’d found him.
And maybe that was the answer all along.
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#jungkook smut#jungkook x reader#jungkook angst#jungkook imagine#jungkook#jeon jungkook#jungkook jeon#bts smut#bts army#bts ff#bts#bts imagine#bts imagines#bts incorrect quotes#bts jungkook#fan fiction#jungkook fanfic#bts ffs#bts ff recs#jungkook ff#valentines day#jungkook fluff#to all the boys i've loved before#tatbilb#idiots to lovers#best frinends to lovers
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