#i feel so bad but it’s hard to think right not i’m sorry
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Till his blood technique turns white!!
(Sadist choso)
CHOSO X READER (smut, minors dni you WILL be blocked❤️)
Warnings; degradation, dirty talk, going in raw (wrap it before you tap it!) dumbification, sub! Reader, rough sex, hair pulling, reader gets called yk s!ut, talking her through it, stuff like that.
(Re upload because I accidentally deleted this fic earlier😭)
You’d think choso would go easy on you? He’s so nice towards yuji and yuki-
so why’s he fucking you like he hates you?
But oh god does it feel good.
“F-fuck Cho’ I dunno if I’m-“ a harsh slap on your ass shuts you up, your face buried in the pillow, whining in protest; his cock buried deep inside your cunt, a brutal pace set, hips snapping to meet yours again and again.
“Hm? Cmon girl I know you’re not so dumb after a few strokes, right?” You can feel the shit eating smirk on his lips on the shell of your ear, fucking you deeper in response to your breathy moans, your mind a fucked out cloud of need.
His hands grip your hips so mean- watching the fat of your ass jiggle every time he hits that sweet spot inside you making whines and moans slip past you lips-
He’s so deep too- so mean and so fucking good.
“Hah- fuck oh my god ‘Cho I’m gonna cum!” You moan into the pillow, eyes rolling back in ecstasy, your back being pressed down with one of his strong hands, the other holding you just where he wants you, his leaking tip hitting your g spot every. Damn. Time.
You couldn’t last long, not when he’s fucking you like he knows your body inside out.
White slick covers his cock, lubricating his length and allowing him to fuck you faster, I mean not that you had a problem in the first place.
He was just so fucking big!!
“Dumb slut- Cummin’ that easily hm? Fuck your so wet.” Mean words flow from his lips, his hand lifting from your back to you with your clit, a meek whimper scraping your kiss bitten lips.
Hips pistoning in and out of your tight cunt makes his mind feral, you feel so fucking good and your taking him so so well, he should reward you right?
The sound of skin on skin reverberating throughout the room is the only noise filling it, although besides your fucked out hoarse voice and low grunts and moans coming from the man behind you.
“Cmon baby tell me how bad you want it, how bad you want me to fill that greedy pussy of yours hm? Fuckin- hah- takin me so well”
His cock slams into you ruthlessly over and over, your sensitive cunt twitching around him, squeezing the life out of him.
Your release trickles down your thigh, cumming around him multiple times already, face flushed and pupils blown wide.
“Choso- p-please!” You cry out, begging for another release.
“Mm, not good enough slut.”
You feel his hands tangle in your hair, pulling your head back and fucking you doggystyle, his free hand grabbing your ass meanly, slapping it over and over, his cock buried to the hilt inside you.
And oh my god. Your orgasm comes so fast and hard you didn’t even see it coming, tears stream down your cheeks from overstimulation, crying and begging for him to slow down, but do you really want him to? No.
Squirting all over his dick is enough to make him go fucking crazy for him, your his. Anybody else’s? They can get fucked.
“Mine, y’hear that? She fuckin loves me hm?”
Your syrupy sweet cunt is teetering him on the edge of being pussy drunk, but god he’s so mean about it too!
“Choso- pleasepleaseplease-!” You manage to whimper out, choking and hiccuping on your words, incoherent babbling coming from your lips.
“Oh fuuuuck baby your so fuckin’ good” he moans out, his lips forming and o shape and his eyes slamming shut as a loud moan flows from his lips, cumming so deep inside you he might get you pregnant.
It’s so messy too, your combined juices making a mess of the sheets beneath you, his cum spilling out of your abused cunt. He releases the grip on your hair, letting you body fall limply into the pillow and pulling out of you with a wet pop!
“Heh- sorry baby didn’t mean to be so mean.”
#jjk smut#jjk x reader#jjk x you#choso x reader#choso x reader smut#choso smut#choso smau#choso x you#choso kamo#toji x reader smut#sukuna x reader#geto x reader#nanami x reader#gojo x reader smut#gojo x you#toji smut#jjk choso#jjk x reader smut#gojo satoru x reader#nanami x reader smut#nanami smut#geto x reader smut#geto smut
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SMUT | One-Liner Prompt List
Pairings: Anyone x Reader
Pronouns: Mix of GN!, Fem!Pronouns, etc. Will happily make any prompt request specific to your preferences 🤍
Rating: NSFW, 18+, MDNI !! You WILL be blocked!
Notes: Please feel free to send submissions using one or more of these!! 🤍 I can’t wait to see what characters, prompt combos, and ideas you guys come up with!!
Will be updating this list as I come up with more, or will be adding more parts. If you wanna see specifically themed prompt lists, lmk in my ask box!!!!
Will be creating a fluff list, too. Stay tuned 🤍
REQUEST/SUBMISSION INFO
1. “Stop looking at me like that or else I’m gonna cum too fast.”
2. “Don’t act like you didn’t want to end up under me like this.”
3. “Ooh. The cat’s got claws~”
4. “No, no— Don’t let little ol’ me stop you.”
5. “No. Don’t take those off. Those stay on.”
6. “You didn’t seriously think I was gonna let you cum… Did you?”
7. “I’d rather watch you take something other than whiskey down your throat.” “Oh yeah? Like what?”
8. “Don’t mock me while I’m fucking you.”
9. “That’s a bold decision, considering how I’m balls deep in you right now.”
10. “Patience, love. Good girls/boys are patient.”
11. “Lousy manners won’t get you very far. Now. Try saying ‘please’?”
12. “I’d spank you but I think you’d enjoy it too much for it to be reprimanding.”
13. “It really is such a shame that you can’t tell me what you want with a mouth so full of my cock.”
14. “If you want my cock you’re gonna have to do a better job of convincing me.”
15. “Watch your tone. Don’t make me put you in your place.”
16. “Crawl.”
17. “Sorry, love, it’s hard to understand you with your face buried in the pillows like that.”
18. “Shut up and fuck me already.”
19. “Careful love, or I might just eat you alive before you can leave.”
20. “You’re just dripping, aren’t you? How bad are you aching for me to fuck you, huh?”
21. “Shut up and take my fuckin’ cock.”
22. “Then I guess I’ll just fuck you up against the window, hmm? Make everybody watch. Since you clearly want an audience so bad, cause you can’t stay quiet.”
23. “You’re pretty demanding for a brat who’s done nothing to earn the right to make demands.”
24. “You talk such a big game for someone who can’t even put two words together when I’m fucking them.”
25. “If your eyes move from mine even once, I’m leaving. And I won’t come back. I’ll leave you here all alone. Aching. Begging.”
26. “You call that begging? Tsk tsk. You can do better than that.”
27. “You call that moaning? Tsk tsk. You can moan better than that.”
28. “You call that crawling? Tsk tsk. You can crawl better than that.”
29. “I won’t even consider fucking you unless you cum all over my boots first. Show me how bad you want it.”
30. “Lick it up.”
31. “Slow.”
32. “Easy.”
33. “Careful, little mouse. Keep talkin’ like that and I might just have to teach you a thing or two about respect.”
34. “That’s not nearly desperate enough.”
35. “Did I hear a please? My. You’re being so polite for once.”
36. “You’re being so obedient.”
37. “Keep your hands to yourself.”
38. “Don’t make me come over there.”
39. “I’m not pulling out. Want you full of my cum. Want to see that shit dripping out of you by the time I’m through with you.”
40. “So that’s why you had such an attitude, eh? Just needed a good fucking to pacify you?”
#arcane x reader smut#arcane smut#arcane x reader#Sevika smut#sevika x reader smut#Sevika x reader#silco smut#Silco x reader#Silco x reader smut#vi x reader#vi x reader smut#Vander smut#Vander x reader smut#Vander x reader#jinx smut#jinx x reader smut#jinx x reader#jayce smut#jayce x reader smut#jayce x reader#jayce talis smut#jayce talis x reader#jayce talis x reader smut#Viktor x reader#Viktor x reader smut#Viktor smut#Viktor arcane#Viktor arcane x reader#Viktor smut arcane
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Hazard x Reader - You little Gommy
first tumblr post!!! need more fics of him omg pls 1.1k words fluff!! sorry scotland if i fucked up ur language - The quiet atmosphere was deafening, a place usually so full of laughter and talking, suddenly turned to the complete opposite. Everyone in the gang had left to steal a high tech weapon from the Oasis. Well, everyone but her. She stared at the ceiling, the bed creaking a little bit as she moved. Her eyes wandered across the whole room, going through every little detail as if she had never been there before. Boredom can really make a person mad huh? Her eyes looked through the photos they had taken together as a family. Some of them only have certain people and so on. Her eyes lingered on the picture of her and Findlay, well he is better known as Hazard. She slowly got up from the bed, walking towards the counter and staring at the holographic picture. In the picture they both stared at the camera smiling widely as he held it up, she remembered when they took this photo. It took him so long to figure out how to press one button and she couldn’t stop laughing at him. Such a small thing had such a big impact on her memories. She couldn’t help but let a small smile form on her face as she remembered A sudden sharp pain however had that smile wipe away. She let out a loud groan, her hand immediately flying to hold her side. Oh right, she had gotten hurt during action in their last mission. A guard sneaked up to her and landed a very mean punch to her side, bruising the whole side. Yeah the guard had some sort of knuckle braces or something, was a hard hit anyway. She could remember being so scared that her ribs had been busted, or that the braces had gone deep into her skin, good thing it was none of that. Ribs just got bruised a lot, very painful. She cursed to herself as she tried heading back to bed, only for the pain to strike her back two times worse now. She could only stand still, holding her side, even if touching it wasn’t the best idea either. She leaned on the counter, keeping her balance, waiting for the stronger pain to pass. It was at that moment she heard the faint muffled noise of an engine coming closer and closer. It must be the gang! FUCK! They couldn’t see her out of the bed, she tried to walk forward, pushing through the pain. The quick movements made everything worse, one bad move caused her to twist in a bad way and she fell down onto her knees, fighting against her angry tears. She felt so fucking useless like this. She heard the heavy door to their hideout open, bringing with it loud laughter and quick chatter. One of the voices really stood out to her, Hazard. “We really tore tha' place down ay?!” He laughed, his heavy Scottish accent so intoxicating to her. “You really scared us there for a moment champ.” BoomSlang said, shaking her head as if disappointed even though a smile rested on her face. “Ah! You woulda’ done the same if you were in my place.” He chuckled, giving her back a few pats before walking past all of them. “‘Right. I'm gonna head to bed, don’t do ‘nothin stupid without me!” He waved his hand before disappearing down the hall Hazard walked further from the laughter and chatter of his friends, his steps confident and full of energy. His mind was racing, thinking about everything that happened today. One thing he knows for sure though is that he feels fucking awesome and that he cannot wait to embrace his little darling.
He neared his room and as he finally stopped in front of the door he listened for a moment. Considering there was light coming from the small crack below the door and if she was doing something, but he couldn’t hear anything, perhaps she was still sleeping and recovering. He smiled to himself, opening the door slowly. He was not expecting to see her on the floor on her knees holding her side, trying to lift herself up. “Whadda’ ya doin bonny??!” He said a bit urgently, rushing to her side. “I’m sorry Lay’... I just don't know. I was looking at the pictures, completely forgetting my predicament.” She sighed, looking up at him. “You little gommy. Let’s get ya back to bad ‘right?” He said softly, carefully maneuvering his cybernetic arms to not hurt her. “Thank you..” She mumbled, accepting his gentle help. Once he had her safely tucked under the covers he sat down on the side of the bed, the mattress sinking a bit under her weight. He turned his head over his shoulder, staring at her. She stared back, captivated by his pretty eyes, her cheeks burning up a bit. He chuckled, turning himself around a bit more, so that his whole upper body was now in her line of sight. “Aye.. ya know you can always ask for help right?” He smiled at her, using his left hand to caress her cheek lovingly. “Just don’t wanna be a bother to you…” She mumbled, leaning her head into his palm. “You could neva’ bother me ya numpty. I love you after all don’t i?” He chuckled. She blushed at his words, she had been together with him long enough to figure out some of the slang he used when referring to her or other people. Right now he called her a lovable moron, some people could get offended but they loved lovingly insulting each other, just part of their love language really.
“Alright, you get some sleep yeah? Otherwise yer gonna miss that beauty sleep of yous.” Hazard said, about to get up from the bed to give her some alone time, only to be stopped by a hand quickly latching onto his wrist. She winched a little bit at the sudden movement again, but nothing was going to stop her from speaking her mind. “Wait, please. Could you.. stay with me hun..? I just.. I don't wanna sleep alone, and I need your company..” She asked quietly.
“You know I could neva’ say no to you.” He slowly and carefully climbed into the bed, thankful he had switched out his gun for his other cybernetic arm so that it would be less uncomfortable for her to sleep on. She smiled at him, and snuggled up beside him, his body a walking furnace, she felt so safe and warm beside him. He stared down at her, running his fingers through her hair to soothe her nerves. She looked up at him and motioned for him to lean down a bit which he did. Her lips slowly landed on his, giving him a long kiss goodnight. “Sleep well lassie.” “You too dummy.” - I TRIED!!! Please hazard lovers request stories so i stay motivated
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hey tims. break it down for us
What are you talking about? Break what down?
#asks#anon#chilchuck#chilchuck tims#chilchuck dungeon meshi#dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#chat bullies chilchuck#ooc: i should’ve done todays queue yesterday i’m too tired for the serious answers#but those asks came in first#i feel so bad but it’s hard to think right not i’m sorry#oh also this isn’t my video tbh it was shared in the server and it was sooooo funny that i saved it in case i got another ask for dancing
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this is a test
#i’m bored i just wanna see how many words i can put in the tags like will it just keep going on forever or will they stop me like i know th#the tag limit is 30 ok so the iindividual tag limit is 140 characters that’s actually so rude i wanted to keep going forever and see how lo#g this could be but i guess we can do this 30 times ok what the flip should i talk about hm i was playing the guitar today but i rage quit#ause the song was hard and hurting my fingers! ermmmmm it was sunny ok this is boring let’s think of more exciting things to type hmmm acco#ding to all known laws of aviation- jk i’m not doing the bee movie script but can you imagine i think that would be funny hmmmmm words i lo#e podcasts so bad that’s a fact no one has ever know before my blog definitely isn’t all about audio dramas the people are definitely not a#ready aware of this jesus christ this is only the seventh one of these this is actually quite a lot of space i underestimated how much i ha#e to type btw there’s probably spelling mistakes in here somewhere or autocorrect has been annoying but i cba to retype anything so i don’t#care lolllllllllllll how do you feel about oscar malevolent i feel a normal amount actually (lie) yk what i really miss sam and colin alrea#y like i’m actually not okay i really hope we hear from sam again in s2 and also colin ngl i hope ur in the computers soz or not dead miss#im like a bastard my paranoid it king ok erm im running out of things to say um heartstopper s3 was crazy good i cried lmao i love gay peop#e so much it’s crazy i hope it gets renewed for s4 i need to reread the comics lowkey and the books they’re all so talented for being so yo#ng it scares me ngl !!!!!! the tmagp hiatus is getting to me slightly like february in reality is soon and not that far away for how podcas#ts go but seriously how am i supposed to live until then without knowing what happened. please colin be alive. ive only just realised i can#use fills stops. sorry that’s made everything a bit messy. i should’ve been doing this before. whoops. anyways. hi mutuals i love you all s#much i hope you enjoy my rambles and shitposts cause i enjoy yours very much! never think you’re being annoying i literally don’t care be a#annoying as you want posts as much as you want i am ur biggest fan <3 im getting a bit fatigued from typing like my mind is blank basically#now it’s just turned into a. stream of consciousness but i don’t really have any thoughts to put here idk if we’re halfway ermmmm omg it’s#lmost halloween how crazy is that time is flying by i kinda forgot it was october lmao. it’s wild how it’s basically almost christmas. like#what. that’s illegal. how is it wintertime again. what the flip. i miss summer already take me backkkkkkk. i hope my phone doesn’t crash or#smth cause i’ve not saved this as a draft and i cba to do any of this again. maybe i should save it. ok i will when i reach the next tag bc#ok it stopped me but i’ve saved it and holy jesus it’s a lot of text im just sat here giggling there’s really no point to any of this other#than me being bored sooooooooooooooooo (imagine if i just did the letter o for every character wouldn’t that be crazy) so wait there’s 140#haracters and 30 tags so what’s 30 x 140. someone hurry. i haven’t done maths lessons in two and a half years i’ve forgotten everything wai#let me get the calculator app ok im back it said 4100 characters so. i dont know how many words that roughly is but its. a decent amount. o#what the flip why am i wasting tag space with maths. i hate maths. my screen time has been actually soooooooooo bad recently like damn some#one put my phone in a block of ice please joshua gillespie style. my mind is running out of things to say. do i talk about myself. im james#im 18 which is weird cause wdym im an adult go away. ive run out of facts. i love podcasts and procedural dramas that stupid firefighter sh#w is my life unfortunately. i think chappell roan should be the queen of england instead of king charles. i dont like having a king cause#ho needs men in power not me. ok um this is the last tag equal rights for all. yolo. the time will pass anyways! thank u boredom ok bye gn:
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i need to remake my cup bros ref… both cup and human designs… it’s been almost a year(?) and i’ve developed the headcanons and i would like to share with the class!!! (i wrote thirty tags. Please help me)
#my little hc i kinda showed in the refs but didn’t point out: cuphead’s handle appears broken/in human form his ear is halved#cause he has microtia (that also affects the eustachiantube/middle ear). basically i am a HoH cuphead truther#also to add onto that i think he has poor auditory processing issues cause i also see him as AuDHD#double also. while he would use ASL on a bad hearing day i think regularly he also uses home signs to express words/concepts#autism-related btw. it’s actually a bit visible in insert cuphead media (to me at least LOL) that cuphead expresses a lot of body language#so not liking conversation oral or signed as well as replacing oral words w home signs is in character. at least to my headcanon whatever#floats your boat!#OH! plus his split upper lip that i draw him with isn’t related to the microtia. he just roughhouses and chipped/tore his lip open when he#was younger#cuphead is also a trans boy. it feels right to me LOL#even back in 2017 when i barely knew the game or also much about trans people i saw cuphead and was like hm. hm!#tbh he just pawned his clothes onto mugman. who i’ve also changed my hc for i see him more as bigender than a cis boy now#LOL. i cast bi on mugman. sorry buddy#OH HIM TOO. im so sorry mugsy i have like two headcanons for you 😭😭😭#she uses he/she 2 me. i like casting personal parts of myself onto mugman even if i gravitate more towards cuphead/chalice#i see him as a bi ace as well. and a hopeless romantic. i don’t ship uhh i don’t remember what it’s called#i don’t ship cala maria X mugman (respect though) cause i see the cups as kids and i’m also a hilda X maria shipper LOL#but in the show. i will be real that she is a hopeless romantic. Look at that dork#FORGOT TO MENTION. i am a cuphead aroace truther to my grave. KEEP THAT MUSHY ROMANCE OUT OF MY HIGH SEAS ADVENTURE!!!!#like i said w cuphead before mugman is AuDHD (they share. many genes LMFAO)#however the difference is that they express it in different ways; while cuphead’s is more linked to his hearing/social behavior#mugman’s is more related to her emotions. i see it through my headcanon colored glasses that especially in the show mugman has more#meltdowns between the two cups#he has high emotional sensitivity both in positive and negative ways; former as in being strongly attached to cuphead and latter as in#more prone to meltdowns as well as being very literal#which isn’t a bad thing of course. mugman we are shaking hands so hard we are the same#OK that’s all the ones i want to share right now. i also haven’t shared her human or cup design i did but i’m workshopping chalice!!!!!!#i am leaving her out intentionally she deserves her own post because i luv her so much#ok post over. twenty minutes dedicated to autism about the twins out of the trio#cuphead
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#my sister keeps getting mad at me#and today it culminated with her basically listing all the ways I’m making her life shit#and the things she listed I know I’m a fuck up like not being able to drive#being stuck in a part time job not having many friends crying when in a confrontation#and not paying rent on time to her#but she was so mad and I was mad and crying#but she wasn’t saying it cause she cared she was like you are making my life bad and it’s unfair#I’m sorry it’s unfair I’m trying but I know it’s not enough#and I couldn’t articulate myself#actually I know she’s right that I’m not trying enough#l just got upset which ofc doesn’t help anything#and now I ruined her day#i can’t even move out cause then she’ll get mad at me for that too#I agree with her that I’m a fuck up and don’t have my shit together and it’s a terrible quality I have#of having trouble catching up on everything I just feel overwhelmed all the time#and thinking about the future makes me so depressed I feel like there’s no point to anything#and even when I try to do something I fuck it up and don’t do it right#I tried getting my driving license before but now it’s expired and I’m back at square one#and my job rn I don’t think they’ll ever give me a full time gig#I can’t even explain myself now it doesn’t make sense why I’m so fucked#and it’s so hard to make friends all my old friends have moved#and behind and shit at everything#and now I know I’m dragging everyone else with me#she was like the one person I’m closest to and could trust but now I know I’m just a burden to her#the thing is i know she's right about everything#I fucking hate myself so much#update: she apologized I think we’re ok now#but I’m just wondering if it is
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everyone is pitying me and i dont know how to feel about that
#i mean i pity myself its bad for me right now and i need help and support because i simply can not do this without it but also#i deeply wish i was not doing just so extremely bad and i wish i didnt need to be pitied#i think im doing worse than when my parents got divorced and i didnt see my dad for 3 months like its. probably the worst time of my life#which is such a nice stopper on the past four years probably having been the best years of my life! and i only have a couple weeks of that#time left and all i can do is feel just. bad. all the time#but then im also affraid people think i’m just overreacting or complaining or whining or whatever and like. rationally i know i cant#help how i feel and what is happening to me but also it just makes me feel weak. this shouldnt be so hard. this wouldnt be so hard for a#normal person. and im having difficulty coming to terms with like. this is just who i am. i cant do everything other people might be able to#im sensitive in a lot more ways and yk its good to realise im not unique in that way but im also not average.#ugh sorry im trying not to vent Online but bluehg
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i’m not like other girls, my “Rest” stats are a heart rate of 110bpm and a HRV of 14 fucking milliseconds. :)
#Seven’s Public Diary#vent#vent post#cw vent#cw vent post#cw health#cw heart#i’m so stressed :) i am soooo fucking stressed and my body is Suffering because of it#i want to just lay here and stare at the ceiling but. maybe a little venting will help#sighhhh wish [N]MbD Sun were here to obsessively fret over me#he can be mean about it idc. at least i’d have someone acknowledging how bad things are for me#sometimes i wonder when the last time was that my body Wasn’t in fight or flight to some degree#have i Ever actually relaxed#hhhhhhh c-ptsd is a bitch#anyways there’s so much to vent about but i’m. doing my best to be vague. i need to be more vague about things#a lot of stuff i can’t vent about anyways. it’s too personal#so instead i’m gonna complain abt how i haven’t been able to play Genshin or Star Rail for nearly a month now#and about how slowly my back is recovering. it’s like every time i re-injure/have a flare up. it heals.. worse. slower and lesser#i dunno how it’s ever gonna get better. truly better. maybe i’ll live with this forever#if being fat is the problem which is definitely partly is. then yeah i’m fucked#all of my problems just make each other worse and i don’t know where the way out of it all is#every time i think i’ve found it i’m wrong and i just make it all worse#anyways as soon as i figure out how to strengthen my core without breaking my back. it’s over for u bitches#‘u bitches’ being uh. all of the shit that needs doing that i cannot physically fucking do right now#i miss being able to sit down. and i’m Regretting de-converting my standing desk back to sitting bc now. i cannot use my PC#which means i can’t fucking do a some of my work or play my silly little gacha games and i’m mad abt it#i’m mad abt a lot more serious things too but again. can’t talk abt it so i’m gonna focus on trivial shit instead#anyways. sorry as always to everyone i haven’t spoken with lately. and in general. i’m so drained from the Everything that i just. can’t.#it shouldn’t be this hard for me to stay in touch w ppl but. it is. guess i’ll add that onto my list of things to be stressed about#i’m so tired of everything man. and i hate being so negative and mean when im stressed & in pain. makes me feel like im becoming my father
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ohhh writing this down before i forget again but sonic oc where they r just the most pathetic and uncool and incompetent sonic copy
#i have been playing generations and city escape 2d is kicking my ass so hard i feel like a cardboard box#and it’s just liek . gawdd . this is so not sonic core he wouldn’t be getting his ass beat like this#BOOM . oc#i’m thinking like one of the mecha prototypes or some sort of failed clone#kindof a throwaway idea idk how i would actually go about it to make it more fun and interesting and It’s Own Thing but itis 1 am#also i knoww this has been done at least 3 times with the shadow androids . sorry 💔 but it has gottta be sonic and the mecha line is#RIGHT THERE and pretty unexplored imo#was thinking they still have ungodly speed they’re just . completely and comically out of control like it is not a skill they can hone it is#Inherent#if they’re allowed to make a mecha sonic that literally just turns into a rocket . hello number 29(?) . i am allowed to make bad metal sonic
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Chanting to myself don’t think about the dread don’t think about the hopelessness don’t think about how I’m always depressed don’t think about how I might never get better don’t think about how useless I feel don’t think about my current life situation . Focus on watching this stream and getting tired
#I don’t *think* I’m depressed right now and all that but goddamn. doing anything is so hard and I feel bad#although. I have been off all my meds (other than my mood stabilizer. which I’m only taking half my full dose of) for uhhh. 3 weeks?#I have been out of them and the pharmacy is fucking impossible#my dad won’t pick them up and it’s hard for me to get to because I don’t drive and they never fucking answer the phone + the site sucks#so I can’t get them delivered#so like. I’m trying to tell myself I will get normaler once I’m back on my meds. but.#I really don’t think they’ve been helping much anyway. like I’m definitely going to keep taking them! I’m not saying ‘fuck my meds’#I’m just. very stuck and not improving. my mood is technically stable but stable in being constantly low#god it’s just about 1am. I know not to trust my thoughts rn but I’m not very tired so it’s hard to not think about them#jesus this is a long fucking post. sorry!#dead text
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going to sleep soon ~ let me get some things off my chest here.... my eyes are super itchy again (fell into the trap of snuggling my cat even when i swore i wouldn't do it again)
#cw vent#this is bc i have a math exam tmrw I’M SORRYYY i feel some kind of way about that#this is the first exam where i am near confident i will fail. and its just kinda sucky#my mental maths is really poor and due to the fact i skipped grades (unable to afford Education) i don’t know a lot of things my peers know#my results as they are right now? theyre genuinely ok. not bad. but theres still gaps made by the years of missing out on school#this is one of them#its so embarrassing having my classmate look at me weirdly when i ask her about something that should totally be obvious or#something silly like that. i don’t know. its especially hard for me to be interested in maths because my old maths teacher has#literally fucked me up i’m so intimidated by every math teacher ever and i just hate the feeling of being stupid or whatever#i don’t enjoy being comforted by A+ students bc theyre like cmonn its totally fine!! i relate i got a 39/40 :(#or my friends who make jokes about how stupid i am and its just aghhh#its already been almost a year since ive enrolled in school again but i still feel so out of place#so miserable i could just die#so miserable i think i SHOULD die#and i'm just nervous about getting an absolute 0. failing my first test made me want to literally kill myself#sorry for being dramatic but when you have a sister whos awards and certificates fill your house shelf its kind of like........#aghhhh!!!! maybe i should just accept that i'm good for nothing at all!!!!!!#not that great with numbers or formulas. probably not that great at writing either. nor am i as eloquent as i'd like to be ~#not artistically inclined. science is a bore. not ~ naturally ~ adept with neither languages nor history! psychology! economics! sports!#forgive me for not being able to do anything good at all ... zzz
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#vent incoming this is your fair warning#read no further if you don’t wanna deal with all that#i’m soooooooooo so so so sososososo tired. it’s not even funny#and i can’t focus on anything and it’s a really bad time for that because i have finals to do 😐👍🏼#so i’m spiraling into my ✨finals depressive episode✨ which doesn’t just stop with anxiety about finals. oh no no no.#i also think that maybe everyone should hate me because i can’t do anything right i can’t even focus on the one thing i have to focus on#and also likeeee what’s the point of any of this (life)#i also am currently convincing myself i bother everyone and need to stop talking so much#which like. evil brain. not true not true not true.#i know people love me i’m just feeling like i’m doing everything wrong and maybe i’m too much#and it’s hard to push past that#especially when it comes to feeling like i’m being too much of. well. me.#i’m just very stressed and overwhelmed and it’s making me depressed and feeding my depression’s anxiety#the depression has its own anxiety separate from the tiana’s anxiety#i need a hug. and for everything to be done#there’s wayyyy too many essays i have to write#so i’m shutting down and doing none because i can’t focus#i literally zone out for most of the day and then it’s like oh.#anyway sorry needed 2 vent
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I’ve spent my whole life having people from strangers to acquaintances to friends to family tell me in some way or other I’m a bad person, or being bad, for caring actively about a bunch of minority stuff. I have not ever thought of it that was before, but putting it into perspective yesterday. I have. All the ‘Why can’t you just not engage. They’re family—ignore what they say and change the subject.’ ‘You’re so self-righteous, overbearing, judgemental, critical, harsh, overemotional—why can’t you be unselfish and keep it to yourself?’ ‘If it really mattered more people would complain’ ‘people today care about everything so much they’re too sensitive—why can’t you keep quiet or nod instead of arguing with me? Just let it go.’ Even from ‘liberal’ friends I get ‘I know it’s racist but it’s not a big deal. Quit spoiling people’s fun by talking about flaws with things. People want to have a good time and they’re already sad and tired’ ‘quit making people feel bad for liking bigoted things by talking about the bigotry. It’s selfish and prudish.’
And hearing on the same day a bunch of native people at a creatives meetup lost it & went ‘They did WHAT?’ hearing about the bullshit ND startup game I walked out on for anti-native racism, and my poc doctor say ‘Oh yeah that was the right call. Tbh I don’t even understand why you feel guilty and worry maybe you did not find the best or kindest way to handle it.’ Talking about my experiences with deteriorating relationships over bigotry with some family members, was a really changing experience. Obviously this is and can only be said from a place of extreme personal privilege, and I’m very aware of that, but it was both surreal and nice (and to my shredded mental state I think, necessary) to hear people I’ve stuck up for when they’re not there say it was right and mattered that I did actually, and I’m not somehow a bad person for it.
#I’ve always been like ‘you’re wrong it’s the right thing to do’ and refused to change bc I can’t change for a reason except I think I’d be#better some other way. but along the way I must have internalized ‘yet somehow I’m doing the right thing wrong because so many people have#accused me of being evil for doing it and there must be truth to numbers’ because I absolutely do feel like shit despite knowing I do the#right thing. and until talking w my shrink I had not even really realized this is a major recurring life motif for me. it super is though#and idk what to do about it. but at least it’s nice to have some reassurance too. emotionally speaking#it’s always been a ‘I have to act and care though if I don’t or quit the second it’s hard or unpleasant or personal it’s performative’ and I#have always known that’s true but the ‘actually you refusing to quit the second it’s personal or inconveniences someone makes you a piece of#shit’ I’ve gotten from everyone from strangers to a best friend has left way more of a chest wound than I realized#R Internal Stuff#unrelated but despite my personal feelings of disgust for a lot of therapists bc the field is saturated w bad people and in general they#charge way too much I do think my shrink should get to charge whatever she wants to hear me talk about feeling any conflicted feelings#towards a racist family member and also drop me as a patient if she wants#I’m so sorry Miss N I didn’t not mean for it to come up as a subject and will try to see it never does again
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hello sorry if u saw my tags fit earlier
#it’s Not very representative of my views it’s just sometimes u gotta get it out u kno#and i think it’d be a lot easier to handle and react appropriately to if like#all the rhetoric wasn’t so goddamn intent on making u feel like a Bad Person#like. besties we’ve proven time and time again that this is a shit method to changing ppls minds#i saw someone retweet smthn the other day that was like#‘i kno it’s hard but plz keep trying’ and it made me like ‘god. they’re right i should.’#AND THE PERSON WHO REBLOGGED IT#WHO I KNO AND WHO KNOWS ME#WAS LIKE ‘if ur not masking with an n95 24/7 i’m blocking u#like BRO THIS IS NOT! HELPFUL!!!!#IT MAKES ME HURT AND MAD AND REACT IN WAYS THAT IS NEITHER HELPFUL OR REFLECTIVE OF MY IDEALS!!#and i’m pretty good about those things!! typically!!#but it rly gets under ur skin. when it’s the only rhetoric ur seeing. and nobody is taking the time to hear u out and talk to u#IDK. SORRY TO THROW A PITY PARTY FOR MYSELF#WE’RE ONLY HUMAN. ALSO ITS MY BLOG. SOMETIMES IM ALLOWED A PITY PARTY#spoke to my more sensible roommate tho. feeling better.#not because she agrees with me. to be clear. just cause we were having a normal fucking level headed conversation about it. jesus christ#rumbles
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i don’t think i’ve ever felt this deranged in my entire life
can't get you out of my head
member | fwb!vernon x f reader genre | smut, like a little tiny bit of angst? with a happy ending word count | 2.4k synopsis | so what if calling your fuck buddy every other day is a little excessive? maybe you're just in love with him. smut warnings | descriptions of female anatomy, lots and lots of kissing, some dacryphilia, multiple orgasms, begging warnings | vernon is called hansol - i don't usually do that but just go with it; vernon is kind of a sweetheart tbh this ended up being pretty soft notes | june is back !! i've really been struggling to write these past few months so i'm actually super proud that i was able to sit down and write this as fast as i did. i can't promise another fic anytime soon or any kind of consistent uploads, but i hope you enjoy this meager offering! thanks for the support even while i've been gone :) also this is based on a dream i had about vernon the other day and i could not stop thinking about it it was driving me crazy, so everyone say thank you to my brain or the sandman or whoever put that idea in my dreams because this fic is a result of it. if there are mistakes pls ignore i wrote this at 2am
the thing you remember most about hansol is his lips.
the first time you kissed him was like opening a door to a world you'd never known existed. your past hookups had been terrible kissers, or even worse—hadn't even tried to kiss you at all. you were sick of the boring, underwhelming sex with men who couldn't care less if you got off or not. but some god or being in the universe must've been looking out for you, because finding hansol was nothing short of a miracle.
it was so good, you weren't even that embarrassed when you'd desperately texted him a couple of nights later, practically begging him to come over and fuck you again. he was burned into your brain, the feeling of his mouth locked with yours seared so deep in your memory you couldn't erase him if you tried, but it wasn't exactly like you wanted to.
he hadn't explicitly said you would only be a one night stand, but you usually didn't hang around the same guy for too long, and he didn't really seem like the commitment type anyway. but when you find something this good, you don't let it go, and somehow you both knew that whatever this was, it was too good to pass up on.
so it wasn't really a surprise when you found yourself on his couch, straddling his lap in the late hours of the night for the third time this week.
like you remembered, his lips were warm and soft, his cheek brushing against yours as you melted into him. you could kiss him for hours and not notice the time passing at all, so focused on the rhythm of his mouth working you up more than anything you'd done with man you'd slept with before.
the heat of his hands resting on your hips sends shivers up and down your spine, unconsciously arching towards him as his tongue pushes into your mouth.
one gentle hand travels carefully up beneath your shirt, tracing the skin of your stomach before stopping at your breast, your heartbeat racing beneath his palm.
your breath is hot on his cheek as you readjust your position, slipping your knees onto either side of his hips and sinking down to straddle his lap. your clothed cunt throbs as he presses his bulge against the inside of your thigh, and you don't hold back the open-mouthed moan that escapes you as his other hand quickly reaches up to angle your jaw and guide your lips back to his.
you push your hips down a little harder on him and his nails dig into your breast. his grip tightens a little as his hips cant up against you, desperate for more pressure against his strained cock.
your eyelids flutter as his other hand tilts your chin upwards, finally breaking away from your mouth only to reattach his lips at the base of your jaw. his tongue laves over your skin before he starts to suck, and you shiver when he pulls back and cold air hits the wet patch of spit on your neck.
you have to focus hard not to drool when you open your eyes and catch a glimpse of his face, lust-glazed eyes staring up at you through his long, thick lashes, his intense gaze fixed on you.
if you ever get past this weird in-between stage of talking but not talking, maybe you'll tell him how jealous you are of his beautiful, natural eyelashes. if you ever actually get to have a conversation with him outside of calling to hook up, maybe you'll tell him how nice his lips are. you'll tell him how soft his hands are and how he's by far the best person you've ever slept with, leaps and bounds better than all the rest, and—
before you fully realize what's happening, you feel your shirt being pulled over your head and hansol's lips have made their way down to your chest. without a sound his hands roam your body, fingers drawing invisible lines over your bare skin and leaving trails of goosebumps with every touch.
he doesn't talk much during sex, or maybe you just don't know each other well enough yet for him to have much to say. aside from the way he occasionally murmurs about how perfect you are — an oddly intimate thing to say to someone who's just a friend with benefits, but coming from him it sounds so casual — the only words you ever get out of him are curses and whimpered pleas.
the only words he ever gets out of you are shamelessly begging him, please kiss me again, please, hansol; and you're always too far gone to care about how whiny you sound, because you need his lips on you so fucking bad you think you might just die without them. but he always obliges, quickening the speed of his thrusts and wrapping his arms around you tighter so he can kiss you deeper, until your lips are numb and you can still feel the weight of him holding you even hours after he's gone.
so maybe you do have a teeny tiny crush on hansol. anyone in their right mind would, and when he's finished with you tonight you're sure you won't have much mind left to even think about it. certainly this is a problem for another day, a day when you'll inevitably call him again so he can make you lose your mind all over again and you won't have to think about how much you like him, and you'll continue like that for who knows how long.
maybe he'll get bored of you, or find someone else, or move to another city too far for you to justify travelling for a relationship that isn't even a relationship…
… but then he lets out a little groan and you fall back into reality, the reality where you've been making out with him for the past half hour and he quietly but confidently lets you know if he doesn't get his dick out soon he's definitely going to cum in his pants and not only will it make him look like a loser but he also won't get to fuck you, which is the whole reason you asked him to meet up tonight, right?
well, yeah, you guess, but a part of you knows there's more to it than that. but that's not really a conversation for right now.
you lean down to press another chaste kiss against those lips that you can't stop thinking about, and your fingers pull his t-shirt over his head before finding their way down to the button at the top of his jeans.
you've had his cock inside you more times than you think you deserve, but still your stomach bubbles with excitement as he lifts his hips and shimmies out of his pants, the outline against his briefs more than enough to make your mouth water before he slips those off, too.
for tonight, you're the recipient of his undivided attention. you alone get to have him and his perfect cock all to yourself; maybe not forever, but for right now, and that's all you really need.
he presses his hand against his bulge, eyes squeezed shut in pleasure as you stand up from his lap to kick off your pants and underwear.
you must have been taking too long for his liking, though, because as soon as you're fully nude his hands tug impatiently at your waist and pull you back down onto him.
he lets out a heavy sigh, the head of his cock pressed deliciously against your clit as you start to rock your hips back and forth.
but before long his hands bring you to a stop and he lets out his usual string of pleas to let him fuck you, and now it's your turn to sigh in relief as he pushes into you, the stretch so natural like he was the only one who was made to sit you on his lap.
he doesn't move right away. he never moves right away, whether to give you a chance to adjust or maybe because he himself can't handle the feeling. either way, you always struggle to take in a shaky breath as your walls flutter around him, perfectly thick and long that you could probably cum untouched like this if you sat there for long enough.
but as badly as you want to never move and let him cockwarm you for hours, he always eventually moves.
he starts out slow, just a few inches at a time, a gentle in and out that's almost romantic until you feel like you can breathe normally again— right before he knocks the breath out of you, increasing his pace until the room is filled with the loud sounds of skin against skin.
he always fucks you like it's been months since he's came, even though you know for a fact it was last thursday and all over your stomach. all you can do now is hang onto his broad shoulders for dear life, nails scratching helplessly at his muscles as he carries you up and over the edge, pushing you into the first of many orgasms tonight.
sometimes he'll make a comment about how wet you get when he fucks you like this, rough and fast as he pounds into you like there's no tomorrow. and that's when you'll agree, yes you love it so much, yes he's so good, yes you need more and please, please keep going.
if it were anyone else they'd probably smirk at that, satisfied with the momentary boost to their ego. but that's what you love about hansol, is that he's not anyone else: he'll take those words and use them to somehow fuck you even rougher and even faster, so rough and so fast that sometimes tears will start to roll down your cheeks, and that's usually about when you start begging him to kiss you.
you can't help it. the way he bounces you so effortlessly on his cock, his lips parted and beads of sweat trickling down his neck, you need him bad. you want to be closer to him, closer than you know is physically possible but damn if you won't try anyway.
throwing your hands around his neck and falling against his chest, tears still streaming from your eyes as you plead with him, repeating his name over and over and over like you've lost your mind and he's the only thing left. in all honestly, maybe he is.
he quietly shushes you and tilts his chin up to capture your lips in the kiss you so badly crave, and it's everything you need and more and somehow still not enough but you can't think straight anymore when his cock is hitting you just right and his mouth is also just right and each vein, each curve, each ridge, drags perfectly along your walls and he's splitting you open and goddamn you are ruined for anybody else.
you feel like you're skirting in and out of consciousness when you cum again, squeezing around his cock so tight that even his powerful thrusts can't continue at their current pace.
it isn't long before he lets go too, holding you flush against his body as he fills you up, painting your insides white with a breathy moan, and in a weird way it makes you feel kind of proud.
you both sit there for a moment, panting as you start to come down.
without even standing up you already know your legs are jell-o, but you don't really have time to think about that as hansol lifts you off his lap and sets you carefully on the couch, leaving you with another kiss before he stands up and disappears down the hall, returning seconds later with a towel that looks suspiciously new.
you'd asked him about his bathroom towels last time you'd been over at his place. a mismatched collection of white and brown and aquamarine that he'd taken with him when he'd moved out of his parent's house, he said, he'd never really had a reason to buy a set of his own.
the grey cloth in his hand now that he uses to gently wipe between your legs is one you don't remember seeing.
he finishes and you want him to kiss you again, but you're too shy to ask now so he leaves you again with just a kind smile this time.
you've put most of your wrinkled clothes back on by the time he comes back. he offers to drive you home every time afterwards, but you always insisted you were fine, already feeling like you'd overstayed your welcome.
this time he doesn't offer, though, just quietly sits down next to you to pull on his own clothes until you're both fully dressed.
he speaks before the awkward silence has time to set in.
"have you been seeing anybody else?" he asks, and it's probably the longest sentence he's spoken to you outside of when he's fucking you.
it takes you a couple seconds to say no. god, you sound like a loser, but you couldn't lie to him. since the very first time with hansol the thought of seeing anyone besides him hadn't even crossed your mind. just like you thought; ruined.
it takes him a couple seconds to reply, too.
"good," he says, and you could almost swear his cheeks are pinker than usual as he admits that he hasn't been with anyone, either. "could we keep it that way?"
your breath catches a little. "yeah?"
"yeah," he answers. "whatever… this is, i like it. and i like you."
and just like that, things make sense.
"maybe, would you, y'know, wanna stay this time?" he asks, and you can't hide the grin on your face as you lean over and kiss him again, your answer evident in the way your hand falls against his warm chest and your fingers weave gently through his hair.
everything is so simple with hansol.
i hope you enjoyed this!! if you did, consider reblogging or leaving a comment or an ask :) it shows me this is something people want to see more of, and knowing people like this makes me want to write more of it! thanks for reading!!
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#j recs.#vernon rec.#j’s favs.#lying in the dark with a hot water bottle over my sore belly feeling like absolute CHEEKS and I think smhow this has healed all my ailments#like i am a new woman right now#i might’ve just died & been reborn idk yet. will feed back.#THIS WAS SOOOOOO GOOD??????#stream of consciousness inbound im Very Sorry i just. have to yell about this oh god#I feel like. the kissing part. is so easy to skim over. I’m the worst for it I hate writing kissing scenes they’re so hard BUT I WOULD READ#5K OF THEM JUST MAKING OUT AND I WOULD NEVER WANT FOR ANYTHING FROM THIS WORLD AGAIN IM SO SERIOUS#the way reader is down So bad for just smooching him UGH UGH UGH UGH UGH ME WHEN#you write so so so so beautifully. like this wasn’t just insanely hot (it was that) (it was so very that) but it Felt Like a Brain Treat#sometimes I read things and peoples prose & their structuring scratches the itch so mf WELL and that’s this. this is that#I don’t have good words to use. I rly could not do this justice in a million years no matter how hard I tried.#but hi @ everyone you have GOTTA read this#oh I’m gna be thinking about him for weeks. it’s that serious.#thank u so much for this. it is lovely gorgeous beautiful wonderful mwah mwah mwah. I love it so much#1000000000000/10 <3
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