#agent hotchner
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irndad · 8 months ago
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won't you be my sunshine-a.h.
a/n: runner!hotch x sunshine!reader !! sooooo fluffy, first hotch fic of mine so be gentle with me! lots of pining and happy end <3 happy to continue with these two in an au!
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Aaron Hotchner is not a particularly emotive man. 
This is a skill he has honed, a cherished quality that was not born of luck or of natural ability, but a skill that he has honed down to a fine tip point. He needs to be, in this job. It’s cost him things, of course, but for the most part, Aaron is happy with his choices. He takes a firm line with people he works with, and does not always let up in his personal life.
The only time this sometimes causes a hitch, is in his romantic life.
Which isn’t to say that he has one. 
There is a woman who reads in the park every morning. Aaron affectionately thinks of this bench as her bench, as it is marked by wisterias and hyacinths on either end of it. It’s something of a ritual, after his runs, that they talk. 
It’s fun. He doesn’t have a lot of space for fun. He’d collapsed on the bench one day after siphoning his anger at a particular case into a difficult run. He’d crashed onto the bench, sweaty and exhausted and hadn’t even seen her there. Which is a bit impressive, as she’s hard to miss the sight of. It is also in equal measure embarrassing. It’s not every day you collapse in front of a gorgeous woman, disturbing her from what is likely a lovely afternoon in the park.
That’s how it started, anyway. She doesn’t run, so each break is punctuated by her company. He’s actually not sure if they’re flirting. He’s not very good at that- the last time he has to he was 17 and so full of unearned confidence, he lucked into a partnership. 
Now, he’s a bit older and a lot more scarred. She’s younger than him, not by much. She laughs with her whole chest at his dry, glib humor- and this is something Aaron had forgotten. The joy of a beautiful, wonderful woman’s company beside you. 
He feels a little out of place next to her. Romance is not something he does. Ever thought he’d do again, really. That’s not to say that this is romance. Their romance is almost entirely hypothetical. He thinks of her at work, which is a monumental development in and of itself. 
“So, how was the paperwork? I know you’ve been taking a little more on since your colleague had a baby. It’s so kind of you to do it.” She asks him on a beautiful August morning. 
He fights off a blush that she remembers what he’s done for JJ. He’s not big on mentioning his own good deeds. Aaron believes that this would cancel it out. Still, her praise is a warm balm to the exhaustion that plagues him. It’s hedonistic, the way he wants her to say more about him. He wonders absentmindedly if she knew everything about him that’s hard to love, she’d still paint him with such a light and warm glance. She’s bright enough, he’s tempted to tell her everything about him just because she asks. 
“It was…alright. My team is excellent. I’m lucky to work with people like them, it makes the process better. I couldn’t ask for more.”
She giggles a little at this, and there’s that roar of affection. 
He feels a sense of ease around her, one that is suspicious for him. He tries not to romanticize, but this connection is hard not to. She’s beautiful- this is obvious to anyone who meets her, a simple truth of her. But Aaron is trained to notice things little factors that show the truth of someone. 
He likes to watch her- it’s a pleasant thing, getting to be in her presence. It’s a little addicting, the way she looks at him. It makes him feel like all of the things he knows to be true of himself- his relative failures, the closed-off nature of his demeanor- are things that not only can be overlooked, but don’t seem to be in her line of sight at all. It’s an honor, to have her doe eyes rake over the sight of him, to meet him with gentle conversation. 
He tries not to notice that she is gorgeous. Aaron has been around beautiful women, of course- this is not something that should surprise him. But there’s something effervescent about her, something that his him wondering if it’s possible that she might feel the same way about him. He knows that he used to be a more attractive man, but now. Well, he’s a bit bruised, both metaphorically and physically. 
It feels odd to even think of this happening. She’s just got a warm, sweet tone and he replays what it’s like when she greets him. She smiles her brilliant grin and sometimes hugs him. It’s embarrassing how much he likes the feeling of it- soft curves against hard muscle and scarred skin. She always smells wonderful, and he wonders how nice it would be to have more of this. 
“I like your new shirt, by the way.” She smiles at him, and his heart jumps. It feels juvenile, but- she’s wearing a new lipstick, it seems. Her beautiful pout looks awfully tempting. 
“I like the lip color,” he tries to compliment back amenably, but that doesn’t stick. Instead, it comes out too earnest. He’s hyper aware of the fact that she’s right by him. She flushes, and Aaron feels a surge of pride. 
“Thank you,” she says, voice softer and flattered, and isn’t that a pretty sound? He’d love to do that for her, make her feel seen, make her feel like she’s as beautiful as she is, “I thought you might like it.”
It’s her directiveness that breaks the seal, he supposes looking back. Because she wore the lipstick for him. That’s just about the only thing it can mean, and he is struck with a particularly sensory fantasy of what it would be like to slot his mouth against hers- he gets the feeling it might be worth it even if he gets the color on his mouth. 
He’s a gentleman, though, he decides after a decidedly ungentlemanly amount of time spend staring at the gorgeous curve of her lips. 
“Would you want to get dinner with me?” He hears himself say it before he’s processed it, and then it’s out into the world. His heart is hammering and he’s blaming on the run, when god, it’s absolutely about how breathtaking she looks, the sunlight reflecting off her hair like a halo. When she beams back at him, she looks particularly angelic. 
It’s then, she leans over and kisses him on the cheek. 
“I thought you’d never ask.”
(Months later, when she is sitting on his kitchen counter and he is standing between her legs, gazing down at her with unabated fondness because he is entitled to that, he reflects on this moment and thinks god, how lucky am I, that I ran past that bench?) 
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juniperskye · 2 months ago
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That’ll Show Them.
Based on the following ask: 🥰 yay!! Okay. (Deep breath), so the idea was basically either preschool or elementary school setting. Hotch being a sexy single dad has most of the single (and not!) Moms drooling over him. Y/N or Reader is a single mom, not one of those drooling but definitely sees that he's attractive. But her kid (girl or boy) happens to quickly become Jack's BFF and this causes natural interactions and conversations between her and Hotch over the next few weeks which makes the other moms salty and jealous, and she overhears them at one point speculating that she probably told her kid to befriend Jack just so she could get closer to Hotch. I didn't really think of an ending for it but just had an idea of a scene where she's trying to remain calm and unaffected while overhearing them talking about her and giving side eye. Maybe Hotch hears it too and comes to her defense? Or makes them even saltier by asking her out in front of them? 😈 @nyxwolph thank you for requesting this! I did adjust a little bit, so I hope you like it!!
Aaron Hotchner x Single Mom! Reader
Angst/Fluff
Word count: 3569
REQUESTS ARE OPEN - not edited - please be kind. Requests are open and feedback is welcome if it's constructive!
Warnings: My blog is 18+, minors DNI, some explicit language, reader is a single mom, mention of divorce, school moms being shitty, mention of Hotch’s ex father-in-law being ill, no use of y/n, Fem reader, reader has no physical description other than being shorter than hotch, reader is mentioned/implied to own a shop (no details), gay best friend, Hotch starts work at 8am (idk what the BAU hours are lmao) let me know if I missed any!
I do not consent to having my work translated or reposted to any other site. That being said I do not own the characters portrayed in this story.
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The moms were ruthless. You were barely three months into the school year and already you had been completely ostracized from the “mom group.” Part of you had assumed it was because the majority of these moms had all caught wind of your very public, messy divorce. The other part of you, however, knew that the main reason you’d been exiled was him.
Aaron HOTTIE Hotchner, as the other moms called him, had taken Ms. Jenson’s third grade class by storm. Meet the teacher night had been a frenzy of horny moms all praying their child ended up in the same class as Aaron’s son. There were hushed conversations and giggles, and hair flips all night long, you had felt bad for the teachers since their presentations had fallen second to the gossip travelling through the halls about the hot single dad.
“I heard he works for the FBI!”
“I heard he’s a widower. Could you even imagine?”
“Wow. He must be pretty amazing, a single dad and working for the FBI!”
“Can we be real for a moment and just admire how hot he is?”
“Did you see his hands?”
“Yes! Did you see his suit? I love a well-dressed man.”
They were vultures, every single one of them, and Aaron was their newest victim. He, of course, had been completely oblivious to the blatant flirting – he returned every advance they made with a kind smile or polite nod. And listen, you weren’t going to deny that Aaron was hot…you just weren’t trying to be like those other moms and gush about it at meet the teacher night.
Your being excluded by the class moms had only gotten worse since Jack and Millie had become friends. Millie had told you on the first day of school, that a boy had pushed her down on the playground, and before you could panic, she told you that a different boy…one named Jack…had helped her up. She said after that, they sat together at lunch and read aloud.
You could barely contain you excitement. Since the divorce, Millie had been having a tough time making friends – mainly because the moms told their kids to stay away. Your ex had been quite cozy with some of the moms at Millie’s last school and you had eventually found out he was sleeping with one of them. Once the divorce was finalized and you had full custody, you’d moved and that meant a new school for Millie.
Realistically that should’ve been the end of the drama, but it just so happens that the girl who your husband slept with…well her sister’s child was in the same class as Millie. He of course was the kid that pushed Millie down on the first day of school.
It shouldn’t have bothered you, their constant whispers…but it had you seething. This was an everyday occurrence now that you drove Jack home. The moms all waiting for dismissal engaging in hushed conversations about how desperate you must be.
“I bet she told her daughter to befriend his son.”
“What a sad way to get his attention.”
“Well, I mean, her ex did cheat…so she’s probably desperate.”
“She’s ridiculous if you ask me.”
This new development has begun exactly two weeks ago. Jack and Millie had been on their sixth playdate – this had been the first one Aaron had been able to host (due to work obvi) which had led to you staying and the two of you talking about how demanding his work schedule must be. He had told you it kept him pretty busy and that his sister-in-law had been extremely helpful, but with her father falling ill, she was growing increasingly busy.
“You know, I could drive Jack. If you’re comfortable with it.” You offered.
“I couldn’t possibly ask that of you!” Aaron panicked.
“It’s a good thing you didn’t ask…I’m offering. I already have to drive to the school to get Millie, I could grab Jack and the two of them could hang out until you are off work. And if your sister-in-law ever can’t watch him while you’re away, know that I am more than willing.” You punctuated with a kind smile.
“What if I take them to school, I don’t need to be at work until eight, and then you could pick them up? That way it is even. Obviously when I’m out of town, which wouldn’t necessarily be possible, but I could coordinate with Jess and…” Aaron was spiraling.
“Aaron. If you want to take them to school when you’re in town, that would be great. That would allow me the time I need in the shop before opening. When you are out of town, if Jack is staying with me, I will take them to and from school – if he’s with Jess, she doesn’t have to worry about Millie okay?” You suggested.
“You’re a godsend. You know that?” Aaron said, a smile growing on his face.
“Yeah well, Jack has been an incredible friend to Millie, and I would love for them to spend more time together. Plus, the house has been so quiet and, I don’t know. It would be nice to have the kids there.” There was a slight cringe that was brought with the insinuation of your divorce.
“I appreciate it either way.” Aaron gently nudged your shoulder.
So, for the last two weeks, Aaron had been driving the kids to school and you had been picking them up. He shockingly had yet to be called on a case…but you knew it was only a matter of time.
Aaron was called away a few days later, he had let you know that Jess would be watching Jack. That had sent a tinge of pain right to your heart. In truth, you were attracted to Aaron, and the more time you spent with him, you were starting to fall for him. You tried not to focus too much on the fact that he’d sent Jack to stay with Jess…chalking up to the fact that Aaron probably didn’t want to burden you – even though he could never.
You didn’t hear from Aaron until nearly two weeks later.
A: Hey, we just got back from this case. I’ll pick Millie up in the morning for school. Are you good to pick up Jack after?
Y: Hey! Yeah I can pick them up tomorrow. I have to take Millie to get her cleats and shin guards for soccer, is it okay if Jack tags along?
A: I totally forgot soccer starts next weekend. If I sent some money in Jack’s backpack could you pick up his stuff too?
Y: Of course! Will you be late tomorrow?
A: Probably, after a case like this, there’s a lot of paperwork to be done. I will try to be there by 7pm if that’s okay.
Y: 7 is fine, we will get homework done and I will feed them and have Jack all ready for you!
A: Thank you. Seriously I don’t know what I’d do without you.
The next day you arrived at the school at 2:45 pm to pick up the kids. You parked your car like always and stood in wait with the other parents. You were checking your phone to see where the nearest sporting goods store was when one of the dads approached you.
“Hey, is Millie ready for soccer to start?”
“Oh, hey Scott! Yeah she is so excited! What about Macy?” You questioned.
“She’s nervous, but she told me she was glad Millie and Jack were playing too. Michael was really bummed that the girls weren’t in a class together this year.” Scott explained.
“I was too! How is Michael? We should all have dinner some time!” You suggested.
“He’s good, and I am sure he would love to have you and your new beau over for a meal – I will talk to him when we get home!” Scott beamed.
“New beau…what are you talking about? Do you mean Aaron? He and I, we’re not…” You stuttered.
“Don’t worry, it’s okay! You should be bragging to all those bitches that you bagged the hot DILF! Don’t let them spoil something good for you hon.” Scott gently squeezed your arm.
Just as you opened your mouth to reply, the kids came running out. Macy ran to hug her dad while Jack and Millie made their way to you. Both kids hugged you and then said their goodbyes to Macy. You moved to grab their hands and guide them to the car, but not without catching the glares from all the moms. They must’ve heard Scott and you talking…and while you and Aaron weren’t dating, it didn’t hurt to let them believe it for a bit.
After getting the kids soccer gear, you took them home and got them started on their homework and gave them some apple slices. You checked a few emails, changed the washer and dryer, and wrote up your grocery list in the meantime.
When they were done with their homework, you checked their work and then quizzed them on their spelling words. By then it was nearly 5:30 pm, you set the two of them up in the living room with a coloring book and some Legos while you got dinner started. You made some grilled chicken, mashed potatoes, and green beans – for the kids, you added some cheese to the potatoes and cut up the chicken – setting that on the table for them alongside a glass of chocolate milk.
“Kids, time for dinner!” You hollered.
“Coming mom!” Millie called.
You were about 10 minutes into dinner when a knock sounded from the front door. You excused yourself and walked over to let Aaron in.
“Hey, we were just having dinner, can I get you a plate?” You offered.
“Oh, as long as it’s not an imposition!” Aaron replied.
“Aaron, how many times do I have to tell you that it’s not an imposition. I like having you around.” You stopped abruptly, embarrassed that you’d let that slip. “I mean, you know, it’s nice that Millie and Jack are friends…I uh. I…”
“I know what you mean. And I like having you around too.” He said, finally stepping fully into the house.
Aaron placed a gentle hand on the small of your back to guide you toward the kitchen. You plated him up some food and he joined you at the table, sitting right beside you. You couldn’t help the growing heat that bloomed on your cheeks as his arm brushed against your own. The room was filled with the playful chatter of the eight-year-olds that sat across from you, giggles escaping them as they recounted the events of their day at school.
Glancing over, you noticed the joy radiating from Aaron’s expression. You hadn’t seen him this genuinely happy in all the time you’ve known him, and you wonder if it is because he doesn’t get to relax like this often. The thought allows your mind to drift even further – splaying images of cooking for the four of you all the time, of late nights cuddled with Aaron and even further into the future, welcoming a new child to the family you’ve curated…only it's all in your head.
“You alright?” Aaron whispers. His warm breath against your ear causes a chill to cascade across your skin, leaving goosebumps in its wake.
“Yeah, I’m good. Sorry, just lost in thought.”
“Hey mom, is Jack’s dad going to be my new dad?” Millie posed, causing you to choke on the bite of chicken you’d just taken.
“Woah, sweetheart you’re okay, just breathe!” Aaron patted your back gently. “Here, take a sip of water.”
Taking a swig, the chicken makes its way down. “Mills…baby where did you get that idea?”
“Well Rain said that his mom said that you were moving in on Jack’s dad, and I thought that if we were moving in, then that would make him my new dad!” Millie smiled.
It was Aaron who choked this time, only it was on his water, causing some of it to certainly escape through his nose. He pulled his napkin to his face as he coughed in an attempt to clear his airway.
“Aar…breathe.” You returned the favor of patting him gently on the back. “Are you okay?”
He answered with a nod and allowed a chuckle to escape his mouth before looking up to meet your gaze. Aaron wasn’t ignorant of the fact that the other moms had been eyeing him since the beginning of the year, he just hadn’t realized that they’d gone after you due to your budding closeness.
“Millie, Rain’s mom is just kidding. Jack’s dad and I are becoming good friends, like you and Jack, and they don’t like that, so they’re saying some not so nice things.” You explained.
“Oh…okay.” Millie said, a small pout gracing her features.
A pout that pulled on not only yours, but also Aaron’s heartstrings. He allowed himself a glance in your direction and took careful note of the hurt and disappointment that flashed across your own features briefly. Was it possible you felt more than you were letting on?
Six days later you received a call at four in the morning. It hadn’t been the thing to wake you up, but it came as a surprise, nonetheless.
“Hello?”
“Hey, I just got a call about a time sensitive case and Jess is dealing with her dad. Would you mind taking Jack while I am away?”
“Aaron, of course! Do you need me to come and get him?”
“No, I will get a bag together for him and drop him off on my way to the office. I am going to leave you with a key to my place just in case Jack needs anything. Thank you for doing this, seriously it means a lot.”
“It’s really not a problem, I will have a bed made up for him by the time you get here.”
“Thanks sweetheart, see you soon.”
With that, Aaron hung up, and for the second time you were taken by surprise at the pet name he so casually referred to you by. You had to remind yourself not to swoon. It wouldn’t do you any good to get into your thoughts about the meaning behind his slip of the tongue.
Jack Hotchner was the most wonderful child you have the privilege of knowing – aside from Millie of course. He was polite and he listened with no pushback. He helped Millie with her chores (cleaning up her toys and putting her clothes in the laundry basket), he didn’t complain, and he just exuded this kindness and joy that brought an extra bit of warmth to your home.
You could see Millie becoming attached and you feared her heart would break once Jack had to go back home. You only hoped that she’d understand that although Jack’s presence isn’t currently permanent, they’d still get to see each other all the time.
Jack stayed with you for five nights, Aaron surprised you all by showing up with a pizza on Saturday evening.
The three of you had been cuddled up on the couch watching Inside Out 2 when the doorbell rang. You shuffled over to the door in your sweats and fuzzy socks to see Aaron standing there in a quarter zip and jeans. Good God, he’s never looked so good.
“Aaron!” You couldn’t hide your excitement.
“Surprise! I brought pizza, I hope cheese is okay.” He inquired.
“Cheese is perfect.” You confirmed. “Kids, dinner is here!”
“Dad!”
Jack ran to embrace his father. Millie, however, stormed off to her room. You were quick to throw Aaron an apologetic glance, before following her down the hall.
“Mills…what’s wrong honey?”
Millie replied with a grumble in her pillow and a shake of her head.
“Baby, I can’t help if you don’t tell me.”
“It’s not fair. Jack doesn’t have a mom, and I don’t have a dad. But when you and Mr. Aaron are together it feels like a normal family. How come you guys can’t just be together?” Millie cried.
“Oh, honey. It’s not that simple bug. Mr. Aaron, well he’s a busy man and I just…” You trailed off.
“Don’t you like him?”
“Mills, yeah I like him, but like I said, it’s not that simple. Even if he liked me back, that wouldn’t just make us a family, it would take some time for us to get serious and then we’d have to decide if that was the right step for us.”
“It is the right step! You guys like each other, and Jack and I get along…mommy it’s perfect! You could be Jack’s mom and Mr. Aaron could be my new dad.” Millie said matter-of-factly.
“Oh honey, is this about your dad?” You pulled Millie into a hug.
“No! He wasn’t nice to me like Mr. Aaron is. Mom I want Mr. Aaron to be my dad.” She whispered as tears stained her cheeks.
“I know honey, me too…me too.” You pressed a kiss to her head. “Baby lets go have some pizza and enjoy our time with Jack and Mr. Aaron, yeah?”
“Okay.”
That night, something shifted. Aaron and you had begun spending more time together, going to soccer practices and games together, taking the kids to the park, the movies, pottery painting places, dinner at your house, game night at his. Aaron had also exclusively been asking you to take Jack while he was away on cases – claiming Jess’ father was getting worse.
Two months passed like this, and things had started to feel very domestic. Millie was asking more and more about Jack being her brother and Aaron her father and you had to explain that even though they weren’t related, even by marriage, that friends could be considered family too.
Once again you were taking care of Jack while Aaron was out of town on a case, only this time it was a little different. Your car was in the shop, so Aaron had let you borrow his car, and today was the last day of school before winter break. The schoolyard was buzzing with anticipation of the final bell, parents were discussing their vacation plans with one another while waiting.
You has been talking to Scott and Michael when Becca approached you.
“You know, I think it’s a sick thing you’ve done, using your daughter to help you prey on a vulnerable man.” She hissed.
“Excuse me? What the hell are you talking about?” You shot back.
“Aaron. You had Millie befriend Jack and for what so you could trick Aaron into going out with you? It’s truly despicable behavior. He’s a good man and he deserves someone who is genuine.” Becca spewed.
“I don’t know where you get off, talking to me like that, but I can assure you – ”
“Becca, I’d really appreciate it if you didn’t speak to my girlfriend that way. She is the kindest most genuine person I have ever met, and every day she shows me how much she cares for and loves Jack and me. So back off, and maybe don’t speak on things you don’t know anything about.” Aaron bit as his arm snuck its way around your waist, pulling you flush against him.
“I KNEW IT!” Scott shouted.
Becca stormed off with a huff and you turned around to see Aaron wearing a shit eating grin. You couldn’t help but be overwhelmed with disbelief at the fact that Aaron was here right now, he’d stuck up for you, and he’d called you his girlfriend. Yeah, you were fairly sure your brain had short circuited.
“Girlfriend?” Your gaze lifted to meet his.
“You know, I’d been meaning to ask.” He grinned down at you. “What do you say?”
“Yes! Of course!”
Aaron closed the gap between you and captured your lips in a kiss. All the while the moms scoffed and huffed in disbelief that you truly had taken Aaron HOTTIE Hotchner off the market. And before you had a chance to pull away, Jack and Millie came bounding over just in time to catch the last bit of your kiss.
“Does this mean Mr. Aaron can finally be my dad?” Millie asked.
Aaron leaned down to Millie’s level “Mills, I would love nothing more than to be your dad, but we have to take things slow okay? Your mom and I have a lot of grown-up decisions to make before that can happen, so I need you to be patient. Can you do that for me?”
“I can do that!”
You leaned down in front of Jack, wanting to ensure he’s included in all this. “What do you think Jack? Would you be okay with me and your dad being together? It means you and Millie will be together a lot more often.”
“Will you eventually be my mom then?”
“If your dad and I choose to get married eventually, then yeah, I’d be your stepmom.” You explained.
“I think you’d be a really good mom.” Jack wrapped his arms around you.
Aaron and you may have only just made things official, but in the last five or so months, you’d both fallen for each other. Sometimes, things are just right, and all the pieces fall into place naturally. And for the first time in a long time, you couldn’t wait to see where this leads.
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mariasont · 7 months ago
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Office Sleepover - A.H
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a/n: this is honestly kind of shit but whatever
might make this a mini series?
part two here!
‧₊˚ ✩°。⋆♡ ⋆˙⟡♡ ⋆˙⟡♡⋆。°✩˚₊‧
pairings: aaron hotchner x fem!reader
summary: in which reader gets put on a hit-list and has to stay in the office (kind of based off when penelope got put on a hit-list by the dirty dozen)
warnings: reader kind of flashes hotch, really inconsistent with how the gov works i'm sure, there's also definitely not an oven in the break room but in my world there is <3
wc: 3.8k
Hotch's voice reached you, but the words tangled into an indecipherable code as they hit the air. You nodded, a reflex, but it was as if your brain had short-circuited. You could make out fragments--a hit on you, stay at office, 24/7 protection, you can take the back office. But no matter how many times he said it, it seemed to ricochet through your head, making less sense each time. You were on a hit list? A hit list?
It all felt very made up, like a script ripped straight out of a tv show. Risk was a part of the BAU job description, but a hit list? For a fleeting moment, a chuckle hovered at the brink of your lips, but it was swiftly swallowed by a wave of dread that rose in its place. You blinked a couple times, probably too many in a vain attempt to clear the fog and bring Hotch's face into focus.
"But what about all my stuff? And you want me to camp out here in the office? For how long, Hotch? I mean, I'm all for overtime, but this is... this is a lot, and I--," you babble, your speech racing ahead of your thoughts. "And my baking? That's my biggest stress reliever. Not to mention my DIY projects--I can't just abandon my half-finished throw pillowcases. Plus, how many pairs of shoes is too many for an office closet?"
Your pout formed a delicate bow, and though he said nothing, his eyes softened. Hotch could feel the frown marring his features. He might never say it, but seeing you like this struck a chord, making it a little hard to breathe. 
Circling the desk, he planted himself in front of you, his hand settling on your shoulder. "Hey, take a deep breath," he urges softly. "Let's take it one step at a time. List out what you need, someone will bring it here. Your baking supplies, DIY projects, even your shoes."
True to Hotch's word, as usual, you found every piece of your life carefully compartmentalized into cardboard boxes, lined up carefully in the office that now doubled as your temporary room. There was an odd sense of dislocation in finishing your workday and needing only to count about thirty steps before arriving at your room.
You swung the door closed, the sound sealing the room as a deep sigh wrapped around you and you started sifting through the boxes. The pullout couch serving as your bed was less than appealing, its worn fabric making you grimace internally. Nevertheless, you diverted your attention, busying yourself with the organizing of your extensive collection of things. Spencer would definitely shake his head at the sight of the vast amount of clothes you had brought.
The irony wasn't lost on you; surrounded by the office's ceaseless motion, yet you felt more alone than in the stillness of your own apartment. God, this was pathetic, and you needed a drink, but you had a nagging suspicion the office handbook would have a thing or two to say about that. You spent a solid two hours attempting to infuse the sterile space with a touch of home, it wasn't perfect (at all), but it would have to do.
Rossi knocks on the doorframe, poking his head in with a grin. "I didn't realize we were redecorating the bureau in shades of bubblegum," he teases. "How you doing, kid?"
"Actually, it's blush," you correct with a mock-serious tone, meeting his smile with one of your own. "I'm fine," you insist, but Rossi's knowing look prompts a quick add-on. "I am, really, I mean I've always said I wanted my own office."
"An office with a view of the bullpen, no less. You're living the dream," he says, his eyes scanning the room. "Need any help with anything? Or anything else from your place? Maybe your favorite mug to make feel more like home?"
"Don't worry, I'm already one step ahead of you," you assure him, revealing a drawer brimming with mugs.
Rossi lets out a low appreciative whistle. "Why am I not surprised?" he chuckles with a broad grin. "Well, I'm heading out for the night. Remember, I'm just a call away if you need anything. And Hotch is still here, buried in paperwork as usual."
He left, and you were alone--a cue to try and cling to some normalcy of your routine; you drew the blinds and slipped into the comfort of your pajamas. You hauled yourself off to the office bathroom, reluctantly at that, and proceeded to attend to your skincare, brush your hair, and polish your smile with a thorough teeth brushing.
Eyeing the hallway warily, you made a silent exit from the bathroom, the carpet softening your footfalls. But in your rush to avoid prying eyes, you crashed into a solid wall of a figure, the force sending you tumbling backward. You hit the floor with a muted thud, your ass hitting the ground, legs splayed inelegantly in front of you. Your eyes rose to meet the firm, penetrating look of Hotch. Of fucking course.
There was a pause as Hotch's eyes drank in the sight of your flushed complexion and the wide, doe-like eyes that seemed to capture the light just so. He felt like his heart could stop then and there. And he knew it was wrong, but he certainly liked the sight of you sprawled below him. He blinked, breaking the trance, and offered a concerned, "Are you okay?" His hands were outstretched, ready to pull you back to your feet. 
Your cheeks turned a deeper shade as you held onto Hotch's hand, the feeling unexpectedly comforting, rough in yours but nice. "What? Oh, yeah, I'm all good, sorry about that," you managed to say, the words squeaking out a tad too eagerly. 
You stood up, and his closeness was all-consuming. You were suddenly intensely aware of every breath, every throb of your heart, and your mind went blank; the usual stream of thoughts replaced by a buzzing silence.
His eyes held yours for a fraction longer than necessary before he stepped back, creating a respectful distance. The hallway's warmth seemed to dissipate with the space, leaving you with an unexpected stab of disappointment. 
"Rossi said you'd be here. Anything I can do to help?" 
You rationalized the offer as a gesture of your goodwill, but a small part, well a big part, of you knew just wanted to be close to him, to be alone with him maybe--in the office, after hours, in his office. This was weird, I mean, you'd always admired your Unit Chief, but this was different. You chalked it up to the day's unfortunate series of events--you were tired, and lonely, and you needed desperately to snap out of it before you made a fool out of yourself.
"No, you need to rest. It's been a long day, and you've been through enough." He paused, his gaze assessing you. "How are you holding up?"
"At this rate, I'll need a sign that says 'I'm fine,' to stop the check-ins." Although you silently doubted that would deter him. You gesture to the surroundings. "And this? It's like a sleepover at work. Just hoping this so-called hit man doesn't show up."
Hotch internally recoiled at your words, leaving him with the sensation of a cold grasp tightening around his heart. He cleared his throat, the joke falling flat in the gravity of his concern. "I'll be here for a while longer. If you need anything, don't hesitate to come find me," he managed a nod before retreating to his office.
A while longer? You knew Hotch was a workaholic, but it now occurred to you that he must never sleep. Quickly, you gathered your scattered belongings, and made your way to your office.
The pull-out couch seemed even less inviting than you remembered, if that was possible. You perched on the edge, the metallic frame cold through the thin mattress. As you lay down, the couch seemed to swallow you in its awkward angles. Perfect. Tossing and turning, you struggled to find a comfortable spot. Eventually, exhaustion won over discomfort, the rhythm of your own breathing lulling you into a fitful sleep.
Your eyes flickered open at some point during the night and the blinds drifted apart, as if by an unseen hand, and through the gap, your eyes fell on a hooded figure, the face not visible in the dim light. Your muscles locked in terror, an icy fear clawing its way up your spine as you tried to move--to reach for your gun, to call out for Hotch, to do anything. But as if imprisoned by an invisible force, you could only watch, confined to the bed, as the figure crept towards the door. 
A scream tore from your throat, a raw and piercing sound that ricocheted off the walls and echoed through your eyes. This was it, you thought. 
Then, in an instant, you were awake and disoriented, your breaths coming in short bursts, and your body covered in a sheen of cold sweat. Your fingers clenched the sheets, the fabric twisting in your grasp as you fought to decipher what was reality. Your eyes snapped to the blinds, half-expecting to see the figure from your dream materialize, but the emptiness beyond them slowly calmed your racing heart.
With a throat dry as parchment and your pulse still echoing in your ears, you drifted from your room towards the break room. As you ambled past Hotch's office, you paused. The door, slightly ajar, felt like an invitation. Despite knowing better, a foggy curiosity nudged your feet forward. With a shaky breath, you eased the door open wider and slipped inside. 
His office felt different at night--it was quieter, more personal, and you felt like an intruder on Hotch's private world. You took a moment, absorbing the sight of his meticulously organized desk, the case files that were always present.
It was tempting to try to piece together the man from his workspace, but you held back. As you turned to leave, a familiar scent stopped you--the subtle hint of his cologne hanging in the air. It wrapped around you, easing the tension that had sunk into your limbs. Almost without thinking, you found yourself sinking into the couch.
The room, infused with his distinct scent, seemed to have your blinking growing heavier, more intentional. You nestled deeper into the cushions; the fabric familiar beneath your fingers, lulling you into a sense of security. Just five minutes, you thought.
Hotch's steps were slow, his eyelids having a hard time staying open as he made his way through the bullpen. He carried his briefcase, the leather handle worn and conformed to his hand. He contemplated a detour to your office, a silent check-in to ease his mind, but he dismissed the idea--you were probably still asleep, and he'd definitely look like a creep. Reaching his own office, he noticed the door ajar, a sliver of morning light spilling through the gap.
He stepped into the room, and time seemed to stand still as his gaze landed on the couch. There you were, fast asleep on his couch. Your hand lay gently under your cheek, a makeshift pillow softening the hard angles beneath, while your nose gave the faintest twitches. Your lips were parted as if mid-whisper and strands of your hair were splayed in a disarrayed crown around your head. He knew that in no way could that have been comfortable. It hurt his back just looking at you, but still you looked so peaceful.
He moved with quiet steps, heat creeping up his neck as he placed his things on the desk. Turning back to you, he couldn't help but notice the gentle dishevelment of your pajamas, buttons undone in innocent disarray, the fabric parting to reveal the gentle slope of your breasts. He felt an odd mix of emotions--a gentle chiding for finding you in such state, and the guilt of finding the sight so undeniably sweet. 
A quiet cough escaped him, more out of habit than necessity, as he approached a cabinet where blankets were neatly stacked--a nod to many nights spent just as you were. He draped one over you, his movements slow and unhurried, shielding you from potential curious eyes before finding his normal place behind the wooden desk.
He tried to focus--really, he did. I mean, he had a towering pile of paperwork and responsibilities that demanded his attention. But despite his best efforts, his gaze involuntarily drifted to you time and time again. It was as if he needed visual confirmation of your steady breathing to assure himself that you were okay. He thought about you here all night, alone, and he found his knuckles whiten against the grip of his pen. He knew you had security on you at all times, but somehow, he found no comfort in that.
Hotch's eyes flicked to the clock--7:30 am. You still had at least another half an hour before you technically needed to start work, although truth be told he would let you sleep as long as your body allowed. There was no way in hell he was going to disturb you when you looked so content. 
As Hotch worked, the morning light grew stronger, casting a warm glow over his desk. It was nearly 9 am when the sound of shifting fabric eventually roused you. You were waking up, blinking away the remnants of sleep, confusion etched on your face. As your eyes caught sight of the clock and Hotch, mortification set it. 
"Oh my gosh, Hotch. I am so sorry," you blurted out, embarrassment coloring your cheeks. "You could've woken me up--I... I should've set an alarm. And I shouldn't even be here, but I can explain, sort of..."
In a flurry of motion, you leapt from the couch, only to feel a sudden tug at your chest as a button from your top snagged on a stray thread. The fabric pulled open, revealing way more than what was appropriate for your boss to see. Your face turned a shade redder as you scrambled to cover up. Hotch, momentarily sidetracked by the sight of the cleavage of your tits once again, quickly refocused and interrupted your flustered explanations.
"It's fine," he assured. "Given everything that's happened, you needed the rest." He nodded towards the couch. "You're always welcome to sleep here if you need to--though I can't promise it'll be any more comfortable next time."
"Oh no, it was super comfortable, really," you insist, despite the awkwardness clinging to your words. Hotch gives you a look that says he's not entirely convinced. "Okay, well, I'm going to uh... go," you mumble, stopping short at the door with a sudden concern.
Hotch understands immediately and offers, "They're all in the briefing room--won't be out for a while."
With a relieved nod, and minimal eye contact, you dash out, hoping to reach your office unnoticed. But because the world just hated you these past days, just as you're rushing by, Morgan's hands come to your shoulders to stop you.
"Easy there, mama," he teases, a smile on his face. But as he gets a good look at your attire, his grin grows wider. "What in the world...?" he starts, laughter in his voice. He glances from you to Hotch's office door, then back again. "Hold up, hold up--you didn't... with Hotch? Are you?"
"What? No, Morgan, absolutely not! Why would you even--oh my god," you gasp, wishing the ground would swallow you whole. God, I mean, the day hasn't even started, and you needed it to end. Realizing your voice has risen in your flustered state, you quickly lower it to a harsh whisper, your eyes darting around to ensure no one overheard. "Why would you even suggest that?"
"Um, maybe because you're making a grand exit from the boss man's office in your PJs? Just a wild guess."
"No, Morgan, it's not what you think," you insist, but your attention snaps to the sound of the team's voices nearing the door. "I don't have time for this," you mutter, darting back to your office. 
In a whirlwind, you shed the pajamas, slip into your work attire, and hastily run a brush through your hair. Good enough. 
You threw yourself into work, the stack of papers becoming a welcome distraction, a rare sense of relief rather than the familiar dread. It was a considerable effort to divert your mind from the distractions--Hotch, the hit man, and Morgan's incessant teasing. Not that anyone would believe that you and Hotch were together; he was the very definition of sophisticated, handsome, and successful, and you were just, well, you.
Not that there was anything wrong with you. You liked yourself just fine; you laughed too loudly at jokes, talked to your houseplants as if they were your old friends, and you had an odd fascination with weather patterns. These things made you wholly you. You just knew you couldn't be more different from Hotch.
With a bit of luck and purposeful avoiding, your day passed smoothly, sparing you any unnecessary run-ins with Hotch. Everyone had gone home for the day which is why you stood in the break room attempting some baking recipe from Pinterest. 
The slippers on your feet padded against the carpet as you hummed around the room. With swift motions, you ushered the coffee cake batter into the oven, then turned to tackle the mess you had created on the countertops. Cleaning as you go wasn't your usual style, but office break room didn't seem like the place for your usual creative sprawl. 
Your phone had buzzed incessantly with Penelope's calls--her offers the keep you company is why you loved her, but you weren't going to subject her to that, no matter how many times she said she didn't mind.
Hotch's office was quiet, save for the soft scratching of his pen against paper as he finally closed his files. He moved into bullpen and as he passed the breakroom, the soft hum of the light and faint sound of movement drew him in. There you were, engrossed in tidying up, with your hair casually gathered above your shoulders and wearing your sweats, Hotch found him instinctively pausing to watch. 
He knew he shouldn't bother you, knew he was likely the last person you'd want to see, yet he found himself rooted to the spot, his gaze fixed on you, the warmth in his chest intensifying with each fleeting second.
The moment you turned and saw a figure, a sharp gasp cut through the silence, and the icing in your grasp became a sweet projectile that flew across the room. Relief washed over you as you realized who it was.
"Jeez, Hotch, give me a heart attack why don't you," you said, half-laughing as your heart rate settled. "Especially when there's a hitman who might beat you to the punch."
Hotch parted his lips to speak, but you were quicker, a stream of thoughts tumbling out before you could stop them. "I thought everyone was gone. You weren't at your desk earlier--oh wait, you had that meeting with the DOJ, right? Did they have anything about the people who marked me?" 
In your haste, you closed the gap between you, and only then did you spot the icing on his cheek. "Oh, sorry about that, Hotch," you said with an apologetic grin, reaching out as if to wipe it away. 
As your palm made contact with his skin, a shared realization of the intimacy of the gesture washed over you. Time seemed to slow as your thumb traced a lingering path through the icing, your whisper barely audible, "There."
The word seemed to hang in the air as you froze, the proximity suddenly overwhelming, your breath caught in your throat. Hotch's backward step was almost imperceptible, but it was enough. You cleared your throat awkwardly, cheeks warming with a flush. "Um, did you need something?"
Hotch shook his head slightly, "No, just wanted to check on you before I head out."
You gave a thumbs up, mustering a smile. "Well, consider me checked."
Hotch nodded, his expression unreadable. "Goodnight," he said, to which you echoed in response as you watched him leave.
Alone now, you slumped against the counter, your hand pressed to your face. Consider me checked? God, someone needed to tape your mouth shut.
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thebeast-dennis-etcetera · 24 days ago
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Interference Part 1
Prompt: You run to your FBI neighbor when you and your boyfriend get into a fight.
Notes: Descriptions of DA scenario, mentions of drug use
Part 2
You tried to go over every thing you did throughout your day that might've caused your boyfriend to be so upset but couldn't think of anything. Maybe it was because you didn't stay up to wait for him to get home last night, even though you gave him till midnight. Or maybe you left some dishes in the sink that he had to clean up.
Either way, his anger was inconsolable and you knew better than to even utter a word as he slammed the doors and walked around the house with a hard set scowl on his face. You just took shelter in the kitchen as you nervously cleaned out the fridge, tossing the expired condiments away.
"This house is always such a fucking mess! You spend at least half the day here, you'd think it would look spotless!"
You knew he wasn't really mad about the cleanliness. You deep cleaned the house every single day till it was shining, he was just projecting. You weren't sure whether to respond to his outburst or just let it go but didn't even have time to make a decision once he came walking into the kitchen. The hairs on the back of your neck raised and your face heated up in anxiety as he stood there staring at you.
That's when you noticed the all too familiar state he was in. Dilated pupils, rapid breathing, slight sweat forming around his brows. He was high.
"What are you doing, huh? Throwing shit away? He said, grabbing the box of leftovers you had saved from a few days ago. "What if I still wanted to eat this? Were you going to bother to ask me?"
"I- uh- it's from a few days ago. I didn't think-
"Exactly! You didn't think! Just fucking throwing away whatever you want!"
You weren't expecting the box of expired food to be thrown at you, hitting you square in the chest, sticky noodles getting in your hair and falling into your lap.
"This is my fucking house! My fucking food! You don't get to throw away anything unless I say you can!"
You had barely recovered from food being thrown at you, you didn't realize he made a moved in on you and grabbing your arm tightly, jerking you up to your feet and pushing you towards the other side of the kitchen, the momentum causing you to lose your footing and fall to the floor.
Your senses were kicking into overdrive as you scrambled to your feet just as he grabbed a jar of pickles and launched it in your direction. It shattered on the wall besides you and you felt the sharp pain of small glass pieces cutting your skin.
You had never seen him this out of control before. There was something behind his eyes that scared you more than normal and you knew you needed to get out of his path of blinding rage. You made a run towards the hallway, him chasing you close behind but you managed to close and lock the bathroom door just in time.
"Oh, you wanna play this game now? Ok."
Your breaths were heavy, so much adrenaline flowing through your veins it almost made you woozy. There was a moment of silence, making you think he had walked away but was completely mistaken once you watched the whole door shake at the impact as he attempted to break it down. Another slam and you saw small cracks forming in the middle of the only thing keeping you safe.
You made a split second decision to escape through the window, sliding it open and trying your best to undo the screen that didn't want to cooperate. Another slam.
You looked behind you at the battered door and knew it could only hold maybe one more before he was able to get through- so like a rat trapped in a corner, you began banging on the screen until it popped off, quickly pulling your body to climb out, scraping your hips on the ledge in the process.
The gravel floor did no favors for you as you landed awkwardly, but at this point you couldn't feel anything. Or at least your brain wasn't giving you any time to register the pain. Springing to your feet, you ran out to the front of the house, your first thought to take the car but realized the keys were inside.
That's when you saw him.
He was standing on his porch going through his mail, seemingly looking like he had just gotten home from somewhere. You had heard rumors from some of the neighbors that he worked for the government or something, giving you some hope.
You began running over to him, not daring to look back to see if your boyfriend was chasing you or not.
He has seen you coming over and immediately looked concerned, putting his mail back in the mailbox and practically catching you in his arms once you reached him.
"Please. Help me- my boyfriend. H-he's gonna kill me."
You were crying now, trying to form sentences when he asked you what happened but couldn't.
When you spotted your boyfriend walk out the front door of your house and look over in your direction, a bat in hand your heart stopped.
"Please. Please," you pleaded, hiding behind his tall frame and holding onto his quarter zip for dear life.
"Here, get inside," he said, opening his front door, the both of you entering as he walked over to his kitchen counter where a gun, badge and handcuffs were set. He grabbed the gun and cuffs, clipping both of them on his waist band and turning to you.
"Stay here."
You nodded obediently and watched him walked back out. He didn't close the door so you were able to watch everything from the moment your boyfriend began waving the bat around crazily towards your neighbor to him pulling out his gun and pointing it at him.
"Get down on the ground!"
For a second you thought your boyfriend wasn't going to listen as he stared at your neighbor with fury but seemed to be coherent enough to drop the bat and put his hands in the air, looking over at you.
"Just you wait, bitch. You'll get yours."
By now, everyone was either peeping through their windows or standing on the sidewalk, nosey to see what all the commotion was about as your neighbor pushed your boyfriend to the floor and handcuffed him.
It wasn't long before multiple cop cars showed up, taking over the scene. Your neighbor made his way over to you and offered you a hand, making you realize that you were sitting on the floor, frozen to the spot, hugging your legs.
"The officers are going to want a report but I want you checked out by the paramedics first."
You took his hand but relied all on him to pull you up as your legs felt like jello. The feeling of relief and sadness overtook you as you fell into his chest, sobbing uncontrollably. Instead of being pushed away and teased for it like you were used to, you got pulled in tighter and long strong arms wrapped around you, enveloping you in a warm protective embrace.
He let you cry like that for a little until you calmed down enough to walk with him outside to the ambulance that was waiting. He didn't leave as they had you climb inside and lay on the stretcher so one of the paramedics could clean up the small cuts around your arm caused by the glass jar.
"How long have you lived there?" he asked, from besides you on the bench. You hoped he didn't feel guilty for not catching the abuse sooner.
"Not very long. He's been there for years but I just moved in about a few months ago. I don't usually leave the house since I work from home so that's probably why you didn't see me too often," you answered, wincing as the antiseptic touched your raw skin.
Just then, his phone rang.
"Hotchner....I'm actually busy at the moment but you can reach out to my Communications liason, Jennifer Jareau at the office....yes of course....goodbye."
"So you're names Hotchner?" you inquired, wanting to talk about something to keep your mind off the stinging pain.
"Aaron. Hotchners my last name."
"Nice to meet you Aaron. I'm Y/N," you greeted, offering your hand for a shake. He took it with a small smile and shook it gently.
"I wish it was under different circumstances but I'm glad you're safe."
"Thanks to you. I appreciate you by the way. You handled the situation really well."
He did that half smile again and played with his hands, almost nervously.
"Well unfortunately I deal with a lot of high stress situations like that so it was almost second nature."
"Cop?" you prodded, wanting to know if there was any truth to the rumors.
"FBI. Behavioral Analysis Unit to be specific."
He didn't go into anymore detail than that but that was more than enough for you. So he's an Federal Agent. You literally couldn't have picked a better neighbor to run to.
- - - -
After the paramedic was done cleaning you up and you gave your report to the officer, Aaron came over, hanging up the phone.
"I know the house is technically not yours but he won't be back anytime soon and I'm sure you need to get cleaned up and everything. I'm gonna give you my card, I wrote my personal cell number in case you need anything but also feel free to come over if my car is in the driveway."
You took the card, reading his slightly sloppy writing and nodded with a smile.
"Thank you again Aaron. Really, you're a lifesaver."
He pulled you in for another hug, surprising you but you accepted it happily.
"No strenuous activity until those cuts and bruises heal," he advised seriously, making you laugh. You both pulled away and it took you a second to actually walk away, not really wanting to leave the comfort of his safe presence but you did and went back into the house, ignoring all of the mess and taking a long needed shower, thinking about everything that happened.
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hoe4hotchner · 1 month ago
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Can't Sleep Without You | [A.H]
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Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x gn!Reader
CW: Insomnia, emotional distress, frustration, hurt/comfort, brief mention of crying
WC: 0.7k
Summary: It's the middle of the night, and you can't sleep. With Aaron away on a case, the loneliness and exhaustion become overwhelming. Feeling desperate, you call him.
This is part of #Teddy-ber hosted by @angellsell
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The clock on the nightstand glared at you - 3:24 a.m. The room felt unbearably quiet, the emptiness next to you was a cruel reminder that Aaron was gone, hundreds of miles away on the opposite side of the country. You’d been tossing and turning for hours, exhaustion weighing down your body but keeping sleep just out of reach. No matter how hard you tried, your mind wouldn’t stop racing. Every thought seemed louder, more overwhelming without him there to calm you.
You sat up, running a hand through your hair in frustration, a tear slipping down your cheek before you could stop it. You were exhausted - beyond exhausted - and the frustration was boiling over into something you couldn’t quite control. It wasn’t fair. Why couldn’t you just sleep?
Your hand hovered over your phone. You didn’t want to bother him, not while he was on a case. But the loneliness was too much, and the ache of missing him only deepened the longer you lay there. With a shaky breath, you pressed his number, hoping you weren’t interrupting him.
The phone rang twice before Aaron picked up, his voice quiet but instantly concerned. “Sweetheart? What’s wrong?”
Just hearing his voice cracked something inside you. All the frustration, all the sleepless hours, everything you had been trying to hold in came crashing down. “I can’t do this, Aaron,” you said, your voice tight and trembling. “I can’t sleep. I’ve been trying for hours, and nothing’s working. I just… I just want to sleep, and I can’t.”
You could hear him sit down on the other end, the rustle of sheets of paper as he adjusted. “Hey, hey,” he soothed, his voice instantly gentle, “Take a breath for me, okay?”
But it wasn’t. The frustration was too much, and now you felt embarrassed on top of everything else. "It’s not okay,” you snapped, a sob catching in your throat. “I’m exhausted, Aaron. I’ve tried everything. I’m so… tired.”
Hot tears streamed down your face as the exhaustion crashed over you, leaving you feeling helpless. “I just want to sleep,” you repeated, your voice breaking. “I hate this. I hate that you’re not here. I feel so… alone.”
The line was silent for a moment, but when Aaron spoke again, his voice was tender. “I’m sorry, sweetheart. I wish I could be there with you right now. I hate being apart.”
His words only made the ache grow, but there was something calming about his presence, even through the phone. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me,” you whispered, feeling small and defeated. “I’m just so tired.”
“Nothing’s wrong with you,” he reassured softly. “You’re overwhelmed, and it’s okay to feel like that. I’m right here. Even if I can’t hold you, I’m still with you.”
Your breath hitched as you tried to calm down, but the tears kept coming. It felt like you were unraveling. “I miss you so much,” you admitted, your voice raw. “I can’t sleep without you.”
“I know,” he whispered. “I miss you, too. Try to focus on my voice.” You closed your eyes, curling into yourself on the bed, clutching the phone like a lifeline. “I’m going to help you through it. Just breathe with me. Can you do that?”
You nodded, trying to match your breathing to his calm, steady voice. “Yeah… I can try.”
“That’s all I need you to do,” he murmured. “Take a deep breath, sweetheart. You’re safe. I’m with you.”
Slowly, the tightness in your chest began to ease. The exhaustion still clung to you, but the sharp edges of your frustration started to soften. Aaron stayed on the line, his voice a quiet hum as he guided you through each breath.
“You’re doing so well,” he whispered. “You’re okay. I’m proud of you for holding on.”
You sniffled, wiping at your eyes. “I don’t feel okay.”
“I know,” he said softly. “I’m going to stay on the phone as long as you need.”
The comfort in his words, in his unwavering presence, soothed the storm inside you just enough that your body finally started to relax. The heaviness in your eyelids returned, and this time, it wasn’t suffocating - it was an invitation to finally rest.
“I love you,” you mumbled, your voice thick with sleep.
“I love you, too,” Aaron whispered back, his voice the last thing you heard as sleep finally began to take over. “Sleep, sweetheart.”
Slowly, you drifted off into a deep, peaceful sleep, his voice and the promise of his love still lingering in the darkness.
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hotwritergf · 4 months ago
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And I’m screamin’ out, give me tough love🛌
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“Oh princess, you sound so good when you moan like that, you’re getting so needy and sensitive. Tell Daddy how it feels, baby girl.”
Aaron grunts into your ear as he thrusts deep inside of you, you swear you can feel his tip in your belly and looking down at yourself you can almost see a bulge under your belly button. Your small frame feels like it could split in half as he fucks you like a man starved, like you are his last meal. His cock, so long and thick, with a girth you never seen to get used to. The stretch inside of you burns, the heat only making you wetter as he fucks into your little cunt. He can’t help but give in at the sound of your pleading tone, how you’re so eager for his touch, giving in to you and gently rubbing his fingers over your nipples, granting you a sharp pinch on them every so often.
“Greedy girl. Always wanting more aren’t you? Always wanting more touching but then whines when you can’t take daddy’s cock. You tease and tease but end up being the one sobbing at the consequences.”
He laughs and whispers in your ear, his warm breath followed by his tongue licking stripes up your neck, tongue leaving a trail of goosebumps. He bites into your neck, starting gently as he nibbles into your skin. The sensation ticklish at first, but rapidly turning more erotic as his canines leave heart shaped bruises into your pulse point.
“Oh, Daddy’s princess has been such a good girl, haven’t you? You’ve waited so long and been so patient. You’ve been such a good, submissive princess for me, haven’t you?”
Aaron adjusts his grip, holding himself up with his elbow on the bed as he takes his right hand, clamping it over your throat. His thumb and fingers squeezing each side of your neck, being careful not to put too much pressure on your windpipe. He squeezes down, you feel the blood rush to your head and straight to your clit. Your core clenching around his length as he gasps on top of you, releasing his grip on your throat when his veins are even more prominent than usual from pressure. He grabs your face, squishing your cheeks together roughly. Aaron has the look in his eye of a rabid animal, his thrusting losing the rhythm he’d set before. You knew he was close, fucking you like a man possessed.
“Taking daddy’s cock so well. Your pussy, fuck just made for me. Clenching me so tight. So wet and warm and all for me.”
He notices your hip bucking and gently moves one of his hands to your lower back to hold you in place, denying you any movement. He likes you best like this. Helpless, vulnerable and compliant. Your nails dig into his back, marking him up with scratches he would definitely see again in the morning.
“Please please please”
You all but whisper, desperately on the edge. With every slam of his cock to your sweet spot bringing you closer and closer, you knew you weren’t going to last, and by the shaking of his legs, neither was he.
Hotch smirks and nuzzles your neck, continuing to whisper his dirty words in your ear.
“Aww, poor princess, you’re stuck on the edge, huh? You feel like you can’t hold on any longer, but I’m not going to give you what you need, am I?”
His eyes roll to the back of his head, being sent into ecstasy as your cunt grips onto his cock once more. Aaron erupts. Shooting his load deep inside of you before he could even ask where you wanted him to finish, your greedy cunt had already made her mind up. With his final thrust you topple over the edge, his hand releasing your wrists that had been pinned above your head at some moment during the heat. You gush, he groans at the sensation and heat of your body. Pulling his softening cock out of you, and catching his breath he smiles, his dominant persona leaving his soul once more.
“Did so well. Missed you so much sweet girl.”
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raekensluver · 2 months ago
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ᴅᴀʏ 𝟶𝟺 — ᴛʜɪɢʜ ʀɪᴅɪɴɢ
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october 7th | aaron hotchner x fem!reader
contains: nsfw 18+, no use of y/n, thigh riding, praising, porn without plot.
word count: 1.0k
kinktober masterlist | main masterlist
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you could feel the heat radiating from aaron's body, the warmth of his skin searing through the layers of clothing that separated you. your hands roamed over his broad shoulders, feeling the muscles tense and release beneath your fingertips as he adjusted his hold on you. his breathing grew ragged, matching yours, and you knew that he was feeling the same all-consuming desire that was coursing through your own body.
his hand slipped under your shirt, his fingertips grazing the soft skin of your stomach. the contact sent a bolt of electricity through you, making your hips jerk against his thigh. the wet spot on your panties grew larger, the fabric sticking to your cunt as your arousal pooled. you could feel the beginnings of a dampness spreading on his dress pants, and the realization that you were affecting him so viscerally was intoxicating.
you pulled back for a moment, your eyes searching his for any sign of hesitation. but all you saw was a mirror of the desire that was burning in your own gaze. his eyes were dark with want, his pupils dilated with lust. without a word, you reached down and began to unbutton his shirt, your trembling hands exposing the tanned, well-defined chest that lay beneath. your palms flattened against his bare skin, feeling the rapid beat of his heart.
his hands gripped your waist firmly, guiding you onto his thigh. you moaned into his mouth as the pressure increased, the fabric of your panties providing little barrier to the heat of his skin. he shifted slightly, adjusting his position so that his leg was more firmly wedged between yours. the friction was exquisite, and you moved your hips in a slow, deliberate circle, relishing the sensation.
his hands slid up to your ribcage, his thumbs tracing the line of your breasts just above the fabric of your bra. the anticipation was agonizing, a sweet torment that had you arching your back and pressing closer to him. he broke the kiss to trail his lips down your neck, nipping gently at the sensitive skin just below your ear. you gasped, your nails digging into his shoulders as his hands finally cupped your breasts, squeezing gently before thumbing your hardened nipples through the material.
his touch was like a brand, searing your skin with the heat of his desire. your movements grew more urgent, your hips grinding against his thigh in a silent plea for more. the dampness between your legs grew, the fabric of your panties now completely soaked. you could feel his own arousal, straining against the confines of his pants, and the knowledge that you had this power over him was a heady aphrodisiac.
"you're so wet for me," he murmured, his voice thick with lust. "are you going to cum like this?"
his words were like a bolt of lightning, illuminating the darkened room and sending a jolt of excitement through your body. your cheeks flushed with arousal as you nodded, unable to form coherent words. his praise was a sweet symphony to your ears, fueling the fire that raged within you. you could feel the tension coiling tighter, your body poised on the edge of an exquisite precipice.
he chuckled, a low, dark sound that sent shivers down your spine. "you're so beautiful when you're like this," he whispered, his breath hot against your neck. his hands moved to the clasp of your bra, deftly releasing it. the fabric fell away, revealing your breasts to the cool air. his eyes raked over them, a look of pure admiration in his gaze. "so perfect," he murmured, before leaning in to claim one with his mouth.
his tongue swirled around your nipple, sending waves of pleasure crashing through you. your back arched, pushing your breast further into his mouth as you moaned his name. his praise was like a drug, heightening every sensation until you felt like you were floating on a cloud of pure ecstasy. you reached up, tangling your fingers in his hair, holding him closer as he switched to the other breast, giving it the same exquisite attention.
the pressure between your legs was unbearable, the friction of your soaked panties against his thigh driving you wild. your hips moved faster, chasing the release that was just out of reach. aaron's hand slid down to grip your hip, holding you in place as he grinned against your skin, knowing exactly what he was doing to you. "that's it," he encouraged, his voice a low rumble. "cum for me, baby."
his thumb found your clit through the wet fabric, applying just the right amount of pressure. the world around you faded away, leaving only the two of you and the pulsing need between your legs. your moan grew louder, his name falling from your lips like a prayer. "aaron," you gasped, your voice trembling. "yes, yes, yes."
his mouth moved to your other breast, his teeth grazing the sensitive peak. your eyes rolled back in your head as your orgasm crested, your body shuddering with pleasure. his strong hands supported you, holding you tightly as your legs gave out. the muscles in his arms flexed, keeping you from falling as you rode the wave of ecstasy. your hips bucked against his thigh, the friction sending you spiraling over the edge.
you moaned his name, the sound a desperate plea that seemed to echo in the quiet room. the tension in your body released in a cascade of sensation, your muscles tightening around nothing as you came. he held you through it all, his own desire palpable in the tension of his grip. as the tremors subsided, you leaned heavily against him, panting for breath.
his thighs, thick and strong, remained firm beneath you, unyielding even as your body had been reduced to a trembling mess. the feeling of his muscles against your soaked panties was almost too much, but you couldn't bring yourself to move away. his hands smoothed over your back, his thumbs tracing soothing circles as you caught your breath. the room was thick with the scent of arousal, your cheek rested against his chest, the steady thump of his heart a comforting beat that matched the rhythm of your own.
kintober taglist: @multi-fandom-imagine, @imamexican, @majaduzejaja, @moony-artemis, @emma-e-a, @agoodgirlsguidetomakingmencry @indigoangel77, @froyofreya, @weirdothatwritess @dale-kobbles-wife @mattheoriddles-slutt
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cumberlocked4everr · 6 months ago
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✨Date night✨
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witheryy · 7 months ago
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everytime this man is on screen my daddy issues are triggered
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profiler101 · 5 months ago
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early seasons HOTchner had me drooling everytime he was on screen
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messylxve · 5 months ago
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rings | aaron hotchner x reader
content warnings: unedited, reader is has a daughter, pre-established relationship, implied SA, me lowkey supporting women’s rights and wrongs
credit to @saradika-graphics for divider
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All eyes were on you.
The final moments of this investigation boiled down to this interrogation between you and a woman; a mother.
All eyes were on you in the interrogation room. You could feel it even through the one-way mirror. All eyes except for her’s, that was.
She eyed that pretty little gold band wrapped around the ring finger of your left hand.
“Mrs. Anderson,” you pressed. “Where. Is. Your husband?”
“Don’t call me that,” the disheveled woman snapped, finally looking to you. “Anderson. I despise that name.”
You didn’t react.
“Miss Levigne, you’ve killed three men and you are holding another hostage. Don’t think for another moment that withholding information will help you. Tell us where he is.”
Her eye fell back down to that ring, her frown deepening. “That’s a pretty ring you have there, Agent.” Her voice was nothing but a croak.
“Levigne…”
“Is it a wedding band?”
Your eyes flickered for a moment to the mirror, but you only saw yourself.
This was the most the woman had spoken since taken in.
“Engagement ring,” you answered shortly.
A whisper of a smile fell upon her lips and a bittersweet note played in her eyes. “Do you have children?”
Your finger twitched.
There was something in her eyes that softened. Something so motherly and saddening.
“A daughter,” you just barely whispered.
A sigh escaped her lips. “You love her. All parents should love and protect their children.”
Miss Levigne leaned in close. Not for intimidation, but as if she was sharing a secret.
“Would you do anything to protect your little girl?”
“Yes.”
Your voice felt raw now, vulnerable.
“I did everything I could to do the same.” She let it out in one harrowing breath. “You need to promise me something.”
She reached out for your hand but was cut short by the cuffs tethered to the table.
You met her in the middle.
“Promise me that man doesn’t touch my child ever again. Promise me that he’ll pay for hurting my baby.”
Tears pricked at your eyes but never fell.
“I promise.” Your words had never been truer.
Leaving that room, you were reminded that all eyes were on you.
“There’s a hidden basement in her house,” you announced, but finding your eyes immediately on Hotch.
You could see that saddening hint in his eyes as he rebuilt that wall of stoic professionalism.
“Let’s go,” he announced, Emily and Rossi now hot on his tail. Morgan stayed behind just a pace slower.
“Hey,” he called softly, grasping your elbow. “Why’d you lie?”
Your response came quick.
“I didn’t.”
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On the jet, you listened to your music. Your arms were crossed and your leg bounced anxiously as you reread the same line of writing for the millionth time.
With another sigh, flipped the file shut, but as your hand fell to your side, you felt it get engulfed in warmed.
Looking down, you saw Hotch’s had wrap around yours.
You forgot how much you yearned for these fleeting moments of affection.
You didn’t need to look up at him to know he knew how you felt.
“Mr. Anderson will be investigated,” Emily announced, walking down the aisle of the jet before settling in the seat across the aisle from you.
“However, Daisy will be placed with Miss Levinge’s sister and her wife. No one will mess with her there.”
A bright smile eased onto your lips, a sigh of release relieving you. “That’s amazing.”
Emily smiled, nodding at the woman as Morgan filled in the seat in front of you, not minding Hotch as he pretended to read the file. Your entangled hands were clear from sight.
“What about you?” A teasing smile played at his lips.
Your eyebrows dipped down in mock confusion. “What about me?”
“You never told us you were engaged.”
“Or that you had a kid,” Spencer added, placing down his book in curiosity.
“Yeah,” JJ joined in. “What gives?”
Yours eyes flickered over to Hotch you watched the conversation in amusement, not saying a word.
You shrugged knowingly. “You never asked.”
Even through the mini-uproar your response got, you couldn’t help but smile, knowing Aaron’s smile matched yours.
He squeezed your hand even tighter, and you squeezed right back.
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BONUS!!
You returned home early that night, Aaron’s car pulling up right behind yours.
“Hi handsome,” you smiled, watching him circle his own car and settle in front of you.
“Hi.”
His smile was soft and warm as he leaned in, placing a loving kiss to your lips.
You brought your arms to his shoulders, pulling him in even closer.
“I missed you,” you hummed against his lips, taking your hands through his hair.
“Really? What if I say I love you instead?”
You backed away from this kiss, forcing your eyes wide. “Oh I’d run for the hills.”
Aaron rolled his eyes, pulling you into yet one more kiss. “C’mon. Jack is staring us down from the window.”
You two walked into the house and all the horrors of the day washed away. It was all forgotten as the excited screaming of two children barreled towards you two: Jack jumping into your arms and your daughter in Aaron’s.
You couldn’t help but smile at this beautiful thing you had.
taglist: @mackannkees
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irndad · 6 months ago
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hii dollface, would u write smtg abt hotch being jealous?
like he's trying to hide it from making the team notices when he saw some officer flirting with r?
no pressure in writing, lovey. change it however u want or ignore it if u dont feel like writing it (i completely understands u 🤍)
my love this has lived in my brain so relentlessly <3 i hope you love it!!!! thank you for requesting!! wc: 1.7k
It is incredibly easy to like her.
She’s charismatic in a way that’s almost universally appealing, and he’s memorized the shape of her wide grin. She smiles with her whole face, and Aaron hasn’t really spent too much time trying to make people smile. He’s had success in some ways, but when she smiles at him there’s something in his chest that burns in achingly lovely way. 
At first, he had assumed her kindness was a way to win him over. In her first week, she had noticed there was a rip in his tie (which he’s not sure how could even happen) and she’d whipped out a pocket sewing kit, repairing it. 
He tries not to think about the fact that she’s beautiful. She is, though, in spirit and in appearance. He’s an expert in controlled presentation, but to some extent she must know that’s he’s fond of her. 
When they’d first met (which he can still picture in his minds’ eye- her oversized sweater tucked into her tailored pants, the purple lipstick adorning her beautiful smile) he’d tried to keep his distance. It’s easy to romanticize her, and being her friend felt a little impossible when seeing her as more felt so inevitable.
This plan did not go well, and Aaron had officially tossed it when one day, the babysitter for Jack fell through when he was halfway around the world. She’d picked him up from school and tended to him, and Aaron had come home to a blanket fort on his kitchen floor, and a happy little boy who wanted her to come over every day. 
So it's a little hard to ignore how much he adores her. 
She doesn’t normally want to come out to the scene and they usually don’t require it, but they’re going out to a place she spent most of her twenties, and she knew people in the local PD, so Aaron had asked her to come. 
She’d done so without complaint, although he knows she doesn’t sleep well on the jet. No one knows where the nicer pillows and blankets came from, and Aaron would prefer it that way. 
Anyway. 
The bullpen of this department is chaotic and a certain caretaking is living at the edge of Aaron’s consciousness, a protective desire to keep her from the loudness and violence that she’s typically protected from. 
He’s still thinking this, when he hears her voice over the chaotic hum of the department. 
“Oh my god, Logan!”
Her voice is joyful, and when Aaron turns to see who she’s looking at, it’s an agent. He can tell that he’s not a police officer for many reasons- the fact that he’s got a long, shaggy haircut and a 5 o clock shadow and a leather jacket on his shoulders. The local police would be too strict, and he must be some kind of different authority to be allowed to be here.
He hears the stranger call her name back, and they hug. 
It’s a quick thing, but imbued with deep fondness. Aaron’s not sure he’s ever hugged her for more than a second- just a congratulations when his commendation came in. She’d smelled like roses. 
Now, she’s hugging Logan. 
“Hotch,” she says, a smile still in her voice, “This is Logan! We went to graduate school together. He’s brilliant, I can’t believe he’s down here.”
Her voice is seeped in admiration, and Aaron feels an ugly amount of what can only be described as jealousy. 
“Great to meet you. You’re the unit chief, yeah?”
“SSA Aaron Hotchner,” he offers the man a curt nod, “Have you met the team?”
He goes through the motions of introducing him to the team- he greets Reid with a warm smile and tells him that he’s read his papers. Logan compliments Emily’s shirt, and Morgan’s watch. 
He’s incredibly charismatic.
Is Aaron charismatic? He doesn’t think so. His team, who probably adore him as much as anyone could, still note that he can be harsh, prickly. He never smiles, he knows. He lacks expressiveness. Logan is all fluid movement and easy conversation, and when he takes the jacket off, Aaron sees a great deal of tattoos on his forearm, his sweater sleeves slid up. 
He’d smile for her. 
What should be a good thing, but hurts- Logan is an excellent consultant profiler. He’s thoughtful and helpful and she has an easy rapport with him. Aaron- he’s so bad at talking to women. 
She makes Aaron feel like he’s good at it though. When they drive together, the conversation is easy and feels nice. It’s like sunbathing, basking in the light of her attention and intention. 
With the help of the man that Aaron has decided he hates, the case is finished up quickly. 
He can’t shake the thought they’ve probably dated. It’s not his business- this crush, although this word feels inadequate for the intensity of the way she makes him feel. It’s a private thing he’s never going to act on- he’s older and her superior, and besides- 9 stab wounds and a lifetime worth of issues is a million times less appealing than someone like Logan. Young, exuberant probably not too afraid to ask for what he wants.
“Drink tonight?” Logan asks the team, and a chorus of yes’s and please’s echo through the emptying bullpen. 
“Raincheck,” she says to Logan, “I’ll see you next time I’m in town, yeah?” She beams at him, hugging him in a quick-but-too-long-for-Aaron’s-taste motion, and the string in Aaron’s chest that feels like it’s been pulled all week threatens to pull him under.
After everyone files out, she offers to help him fill out paperwork in his office. It’s just like her, so kind and sweet. Spending her free time filling out reports to make his workload go easier.
About a half hour of amenable silence passes, before Aaron chooses to speak.
“So, you and Logan.”
“He’s great, right?”
Regrettably, Aaron agrees.
“He seems very kind.”
“Yeah, he and his fiancee are really fun. They travel all over, kite-board and do tons of adventure stuff, he’s pretty awesome.”
A moment passes.
It’s like a balloon losing air, the feeling of relief taking the place of panic.
“I thought you two were romantically involved.” He doesn’t know how to verbalize things casually. If he lets it up, he might do something dangerous like tell her that he wants to be someone who romances her, wants to be the person who kisses her after dates and holds an umbrella over her head when she’s caught in the rain. He wants to be what she comes homes to, and it’s a confession living in the back of his throat, threatening to escape at every moment. 
She sucks in a harsh breath, and he wonders if it’s a misstep to have told her- it’s not a confession, really. It sounds like one though- why would he care? What makes it his business?
“Not that that’s relevant to me,” he stammers, “You’re free to engage with whoever you’d like-“
“I know, Hotch.” She doesn’t grace him with his first name, but her voice is fond and warm, her doe eyes meeting his. He likes it, he decides. 
“I’m not seeing him,” she continues, her body shifting to face him, “I think he’s a little…casual for me.”
He thinks of Logan’s leather jacket and unshaven face, rugged appearance and compares it to how he presents himself- clean cut and sharp lines, his suits tailed to fit him like a glove. 
“You prefer something a little more…dignified?” He hears himself say with more confidence then he feels- her implication is clear, but he wonders if he’s mishearing it. 
She tips her head back and he hears her lovely laugh ring through the air like something sacred, and he waits to hear her response. 
“I don’t know, I just know that I’ve been liking this guy for a while,” she muses, looking down at her fingernails, “But he hasn’t seemed to pick up on any of my hints.”
On one of his braver days, he’d told her that he liked that purple lipstick. He hasn’t seen her without it since. She’d always been so kind to everyone that it was hard to notice when her treatment towards him was special, but he thinks it might be. How quick she offers to help with Jack- gives away a Saturday evening to spend with him, even though she sees too much of his face at work.
Her friend from grad school offered to get drinks, and she’s here, telling him what she looks for in a guy.
He tries to be logical about the whole thing, but it’s a bit hard- she’s funny and warm and Aaron loves being around her- loves her company enough to maybe ask for more of it. 
“If this ‘guy’ did like you,” he murmurs, intentionally not meeting her gaze, the precision of which is boring a hole into the side of his head, “How would he go about that?”
He’s not sure what the point of being coy is now, but he can’t seem to stop. He does look down to her and meet her eyes. 
“I think I’d probably corner him,” she says breathlessly. They’re quite close together, now. He wonders if she likes his aftershave. She tugs a hundred through her hair, a nervous but incredibly attractive gesture, “Y’know, if everyone we worked with went to get drinks, and it was just us. If he was amenable to that.”
“If he was amenable to that.”
A rush of emotion licks up his spine- it’s fun, flirting with her. The creep of warmth on her cheek, how her fingers are brushing hers. 
“I think he might be.”
Purple lipstick, rose perfume mixing with the scent of expensive aftershave- he thinks he might be able to kiss her, now. He’s never been good at knowing when to take the jump, but this is something he can do. He can let her know that he wants it. 
She reads him well enough, it turns out, and she kisses him. It’s a surprise and he is so rusty at this and yet- his hand stand on the small of her back, pulling her in and he can feel her lovely smile against him. She’s warm and joyful and she’d kissed him, and all he could do was lean in-
“I think he might be too.” She says, significantly less color on her lips, and more on his, he imagines.
She doesn’t have to wonder, though. When Aaron kisses her again, he decides- he will make her incredibly certain of his affections. 
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juniperskye · 18 days ago
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I Can’t Do This.
Sneak peek: Reader is recently off of a long-term undercover operation (similar to Emily’s) that left her in a bad way. Director Cruz reaches out, assigning her to the BAU. After speaking to her therapist and expressing her concerns, they come up with a solution of how to inform her new boss of some of the horrors she endured on her mission. Hotch keeps a close eye on her, being careful not to trigger her…until one day, he accidentally does in the worst way. ITALLICS ARE FLASHBACKS! BOLD ARE THERAPY SESSIONS.
Aaron Hotchner x (Fem) BAU! Reader
Angst/Fluff
Word count: 5605
REQUESTS ARE OPEN - not edited - please be kind. Requests are open and feedback is welcome if it's constructive!
Warnings: My blog is 18+, minors DNI,YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR OWN MEDIA CONSUMPTION. age gap (reader is in their 20’s and Hotch is in his 40’s), explicit language, mention of canon typical violence, mention of therapy, reader attends regular therapy sessions, mention of a toxic previous “relationship”, mention of a previous dom/sub dynamic, murder, talk of trafficking, forced consent (reader is working the undercover op) mention of previous abuse and manipulation, some use of y/n, Hotch accidentally triggering the reader, let me know if I missed anything!
I do not consent to having my work translated or reposted to any other site. That being said I do not own the characters portrayed in this story.
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“Y/n it has been three months since you returned from your undercover op, it’s time. The BAU needs an additional agent, and you’d make a great addition. It’s really not up for discussion.” Director Cruz ended with finality.
“I really don’t think I am ready. Director Cruz, I know it has been three months, and you guys have been so gracious with the paid leave, but I’m still working through everything I went through when I was under.” You explained.
“Your therapist and the FBI issued psych eval have both cleared you to return y/n. You’re joining the BAU. You’ll begin next Monday.” Cruz decided.
“Okay.”
With that you stood and exited his office. It’s not that you didn’t want to work for the BAU, in fact, under normal circumstances you’d have been begging for this placement. But after everything you endured while undercover, you weren’t sure you could handle being on a team, especially not one run by Aaron Hotchner.
--
“You were recommended to me by Sheri, did she tell you anything about me?” He questioned.
“She mentioned you were looking for someone who knew how to follow rules.” You answered.
You had been assigned to an undercover operation in which a very powerful man would finally be brought to justice. Emilio Alvatorre, one of FBI’s most wanted. This man did unspeakable things and lucky for you, he was in the market for a new submissive. Normally the FBI wouldn’t jump at putting an agent in this kind of situation, however, in this case Emilio was known to keep his subs knelt at his side in his office. That would mean that you would be privilege to information that could take him down.
“So, are you good at following rules?” Emilio said in a voice meant to be sexy, but it was truly repulsive.
Leaning in to whisper in his ear, “The best.”
--
“I’m worried that Agent Hotchner is going to give me a directive and that I will follow it whether I agree with it or not. I am terrified that I have completely lost myself, and that I will just blindly follow.” You explained.
“Y/n we’ve talked about this, you are strong, you are capable of making decisions and speaking up for yourself.”
“Yeah but being at the BAU with Agent Hotchner, he’s a very commanding and dominant man, what if I fall right back into…” You trailed off.
“He is commanding and dominant, but he isn’t Emilio. I am going to give you some homework, and then I’d like to see you again on Thursday so we can go over it before you join the BAU Monday.”
“You’re right. What’s the homework?” You asked.
“I want you to first come up with a list of coping strategies for when you begin to feel anxious or overwhelmed on the job. Then I want you to write a letter to read to Agent Hotchner giving him some insight as to what you have been through.”
“Absolutely not! Sylvia I can’t do that!”
“Y/n I am not asking you to give him all the details, just a little bit that might help him to know you.”
“Fine.”
--
You had a hard time figuring out what to put in the letter to Agent Hotchner, debating what was too much versus what was too little to say. How much did he need to know, how much were you comfortable sharing…it was all becoming a bit much.
Ultimately, you’d written something up along with a perfect list of coping strategies that you knew would satisfy your therapist.
After meeting with her on Thursday and going over what you came up with, and allowing her to help you tweak a few things, your body filled with dread, anxiously awaiting Monday morning when you’d have to go into the BAU.
--
Director Cruz escorted you to the floor that houses the BAU, bringing you into Agent Hotchner’s office for introductions. You felt like you had just walked out on a stage completely naked with the way all the other agents were looking at you.
“Hotchner, this is Agent y/n. I sent over her file last week. She is going to start with the BAU today.” Director Cruz announced.
“Yes, I saw your email. It is nice to finally meet you.” Agent Hotchner greeted.
“Y/n would you excuse us for just a moment, I’d like to speak to Hotch here.”
Without another word you followed the director’s order. You stepped out of the office and stood patiently waiting for their conversation to end.
--
“She’s anxious.” Spencer mumbled.
“Wouldn’t you be?” Emily replied.
“No, look at her, she’s digging her nails into her palms, a light sweat has broken out on her neck, her heartrate has increased slightly, and she hasn’t looked up at us once. She’s probably suffering from severe anxiety.” Spencer rambled.
“Don’t profile the newbie Spence.” Emily scolded, patting his shoulder.
--
“Alright, y/n go on in and Hotch will fill you in on what his expectations for you are.” Director Cruz headed off.
With a light knock, you awaited Agent Hotchner’s approval before entering his office once again. Mentally chastising yourself for your submissive actions.
“Agent y/n, please, have a seat.” Hotch gestured.
You sat in one of the chairs across from him.
“It says here in your file that you’re recently returning from a twelve-month assignment. I noticed the assignment isn’t labeled as classified, but quite a bit of it was redacted. Can you speak on that at all?” Hotch inquired.
“Agent Hotchner, if it is okay with you, I have somethings I’d like to discuss. Some of which is relevant of that case, but it is primarily regarding the effects that case had on me.”
“Go ahead.” Hotch nodded.
“The undercover op I was working put me in a position in which I was forced and manipulated to blindly following directions from someone. I had to do this for twelve months, and since then, I have had a pretty hard time finding my voice again. Certain things can be triggering for me, so I wrote up some things for you, with the help of my therapist. There are coping strategies that I may need to utilize and there are somethings there for you, to navigate situations that may come up.” You were worried that this was all going to lead to Hotch doubting your ability to do this job. “I also want to make it known that I told the Director that I wasn’t ready to return to work.”
“Thank you for sharing this, I think it’ll help me to make your transition back to work smooth. As for you being ready, I think you sharing that information shows a lot about your strength and I think you are more than ready to be here.”
--
“Kneel.” Emilio ordered with a snap of his fingers.
You slowly dropped to your knees, sitting back on your heels and resting your palms on the tops of your thighs, your gaze focused on the frayed rug that covered the hardwood floor in front of you.
“Bring him in.” Emilio spoke into the intercom that connects him to his security.
The guards drag in a man who appears to be near death, clearly beaten. Emilio rests a hand on your head, gently petting your hair before speaking in a tone you don’t recognize.
“I heard you’ve been snooping around. Talking to Jeremy and his guys.” Emilio spat.
“I haven’t sir I swear!” The man was begging for his life.
“I don’t like snakes.” Emilio raised his gun and shot the man point blank.
You couldn’t help but flinch at the sound. A strong hand was quick to grip your chin.
“Flinching is a sign of weakness. I can’t have a pet that is weak.” His grip tightened “Are you weak?”
“No sir.” You reassured.
“Good.”
--
Working with the BAU had been going well, Hotch had truly been incredible. He’d encouraged you to share your thoughts and theories while on cases. He also reminded you to use your coping strategies when the cases became particularly overwhelming.
Like today for example. The team was working on a case that was taking a toll on you, mentally and emotionally. Women were being kidnapped then brutally tortured and left for dead in the street. It was becoming increasingly difficult to detach yourself from what these women must’ve been feeling.
Hotch was quick to notice the change in your demeanor and he made it a point to assign you with Spencer at the precinct. You were tightening up the victimology while Spencer worked on the geographical profile. You had come to the conclusion that the unsub was targeting victims primarily on their looks, they had all been of similar height, had same color hair and eyes. Worse than that…they all kind of looked like you. The sound of Derek and Emily approaching made your stomach sink. Spencer had clearly picked up on your anxiety since you’d been with the BAU, but the others, not so much.
“Hey guys, what did you find out?” Emily inquired.
“Well, I’ve narrowed down the geographical profile. This area right here…” Spencer gesture to the map covering the screen “this is his comfort zone, all the abductions and dumpsites fall within this five-block radius.”
“What about you new girl?” Derek nudged you gently.
“I looked into all the victims, and they all were approximately the same height and build, same color hair and eyes. I spoke to Penelope; she confirmed that all of the women frequented the same coffee shop.” You explained.
Hotch, Rossi, and JJ all entered just in time to hear Derek confirm your thoughts…which led to a suggestion that made your heart sink.
“Y/n these girls all kind of look like you...” Derek walks over to where their pictures are pinned up to the board. “Maybe we should send you to the coffee shop undercover. It could help us find this guy.”
You heart was pounding, causing a loud whooshing sound to drown out your hearing. You closed your fists and dug your nails into your palms. You could feel the sweat breaking out along your forehead.
In and out…deep breaths. You reminded yourself of the coping strategies you’d come up with for instances like this. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven…
“Absolutely not!” Hotch commanded, shaking you from your thoughts while simultaneously distracting the others from your very obvious panic attack.
“Hotch man come on! She fits the victimology perfectly; it could end this case if she could catch his attention.” Derek argued.
“It’s not up for discussion. I will not send a new agent undercover, not until she is more comfortable on this team. Undercover ops like that require a significant level of trust, one that she may not have yet.” Hotch shut Derek down.
“We know he must go to this coffee shop; JJ and I could go in and watch. Keep an eye out for a man acting suspicious.” Emily suggested.
“Good, first thing tomorrow.” Hotch said before dismissing the team for the evening.
--
“Sir, is it safe to be talking about this…with her here?”
“Are you questioning me?” Emilio sneered. “My pet is well behaved. I wouldn’t have her here if I thought otherwise. Who are you to question my decisions?” His voice raised.
“I’m sorry sir! I didn’t mean to insinuate anything. I just wasn’t sure.”
“Don’t let it happen again. Now I’ll ask again. What is the update on the shipment?” Emilio demanded.
“There are going to be three crates in the shipping container. The boat is set to anchor Friday at midnight.”
“And everything we were promised will be there?” Emilio asked.
“Well, not the girls. This shipment is just the weapons.”
“Excuse me?” Emilio’s expression turned sinister.
You were knelt by his desk like always. This conversation had been one you were banking on; it was hopefully going to allow your team to pick him and his associates up. Only, this conversation had taken a turn that you weren’t expecting. His shipments thus far had only contained drugs and weapons, so why was he asking about girls?
“I was assured that everything would be included. How fucking hard is it to follow orders?” Emilio shouted, his fist slamming onto his desk.
You sat still, silently taking in the situation. That night you’d check in with your team and fill them in on the new information. You just needed to get the logistics of when the second shipment would arrive, and honestly, you were scared Emilio would kill this guy before you got that information.
“I know boss. They told me that the girls would be here soon. There was an issue getting paperwork for some of them. But it should all be worked out now.”
“I need a date and time. By the end of the day. Otherwise, you’re done.” Emilio hissed. He then brushed his hand over your head. “C’mon pet, let’s go to bed. And you, I’ll be expecting your call.”
Going to bed with Emilio had initially been the worst part of this assignment. Thankfully he’d had you STD tested which meant you were both clean, and he’d ensured you received birth control shots. The sex had surprised you; you had expected it to be rough and painful but, it had been soft and gentle. Emilio whispered sweet nothings to you, and he held you close, and he’d carefully bathe you afterwards.
It may be sick and twisted…but it didn’t bother you, having sex with him.
--
A light knock at your door had startled you. You made your way over to check the peephole, and there he was waiting patiently.
“Hotch, is everything okay?”
“I should be asking you that. Morgan was out of line suggesting we send you in.”
“It’s okay, really. He doesn’t know any better.”
Hotch gave you a sympathetic look. You could tell he was doing everything in his power not to profile you. You appreciated his effort, and it truly was endearing. Around Hotch, you’d started to feel more comfortable around him and his consistent care of you and your mental health had been the thing that drew you in. He cared so much, and it meant the world to you.
“You seemed nervous earlier, does that have to do with the undercover assignment you worked?”
“Yes.”  You sighed.
In the last two months of being with the BAU, you and Hotch had been teetering this fine line of coworkers and more. It wasn’t necessarily leaning toward something romantic, at least that’s what you were both trying to convince yourselves of but, it had definitely become a friendship. Hotch had allowed you a safe space in which you were starting to feel like yourself again. He had never pushed you for information about your past and he continuously checked in with you to make sure you were comfortable and okay. More recently though, as things like what happened today occurred, you have felt like maybe you should tell Hotch a little more about what you endured.
“You know, if you ever want to talk about it, I am here for you. I don’t want you to feel pressured or like you have to tell me anything! But if you should choose, I’d listen.” Hotch admitted.
“I was sent in undercover to investigate Emilio Alvatorre…” You began.
“Emilio Alvatorre? He was one of FBI’s most wanted! Lucrative arms dealer, importing drugs…I heard he was ultimately brought down for sex trafficking.” Hotch was stunned.
“Yeah, that was me. Emilio took part in a certain lifestyle; he is a dominant and he was seeking a new submissive…and I guess I fit the bill. He essentially owned me, and he referred to me as his pet. It was my job to follow his orders blindly, and I did.”
“What was it like?” Hotch questioned.
“Well…
--
“Good morning pet.” Emilio purred pressing a kiss right below your ear.
“Mmm, good morning sir. Can I make you breakfast?” You offered.
“No darling, the cook will prepare our meal. I think it is sweet you still ask.” His kisses travelled down your neck.
“Do you have meetings today?” You inquired.
“Today is all about you pet. We are going to get you some new clothes, shoes, and maybe a new necklace. I want to spoil you today! We are celebrating!” Emilio gushed.
It was the moments like this that fucked with your mind the most. Emilio could be so kind and gentle, he wanted to take care of you and in the time you’d been with him, it had been increasingly easier to let him. But then there were moments when he turned dark…the other side of him came to light and you couldn’t help but question your mind.
“Boss…” Emilio’s associate barged into the office, only to find you bent over his desk while he pounded into you from behind.
“Not now!” Emilio growled.
“But boss!” This guy really couldn’t take the hint.
Emilio wasn’t one who took well to being interrupted, in any aspect of his life. So, when this associate decided what he had to say was more important than Emilio’s time…you knew it would be bad.
Emilio’s hips never faltered, not upon the initial interruption and certainly not when he leaned to the side, grabbed his gun, and shot the man standing in the doorway. You pinched your eyes shut, knowing better than to react to the horrific sight before you. Emilio continued thrusting, his grunts becoming more erratic, and when he finally finished, he leaned down and pressed a kiss to the back of your neck.
“Go run a hot bath. Get in and wait for me. I need to go see about this issue and get this cleaned up.” Emilio stated as he assisted you in standing upright.
“Yes sir.”
--
“It was really hard for me to deal with the two sides of him. I became confused and my mind was so foggy as to whether or not he was truly awful. And I know that so much of that is the manipulation of being his submissive, but I was with him for a year, it was easy to forget what things had been like before Emilio.” You trailed off.
“I can’t even imagine all the things you must’ve seen and gone through in that time. I can understand why you weren’t sure about joining the BAU initially…but I am really glad you did.” Hotch expressed, placing his hand atop your own.
“I’m glad I did too.”
--
The next morning Emily and JJ were sent into the coffee shop that all the victims frequented, and they couldn’t track the unsub. Either he was far too subtle, or he hadn’t shown up. The team was currently in the precinct trying to figure out the next steps, when Derek suggested it again.
“I still think y/n should go undercover, it’s our best bet in finding this guy. What do you say new girl?”
You were taken aback; your mind was screaming at you to decline. You weren’t ready for this, going undercover, blindly following team orders. It’s for the greater good though, isn’t it?
“I could do that.”
“Morgan, I already said it’s not happening. She isn’t ready.” Hotch commanded.
“Hotch, we have all had to go undercover. There is no reason that she can’t go into the coffee shop and order a freaking latte. We will all be there to keep her safe, just like any other case!” Morgan was practically shouting.
“It’s okay. I can do it.”
“Y/n you don’t have to do this. Not if you aren’t comfortable.” Hotch was obviously trying to profile you based on his expression.
“I’m okay. I’ll do it.”
--
You were ordering a coffee, meanwhile Spencer was sitting in the back of the café reading a book and Rossi was in line, about three patrons behind you. Hotch insisted on sitting at a table just outside the entrance to keep a close eye on everyone coming and going. JJ, Derek, and Emily were all in the surveillance van parked across the street, waiting for the signal.
After you received your coffee, you found a seat at an empty table. It wasn’t long before a man approached you. He was tall and clearly strong; he had a very sinister aura that gave you the chills.
“Mind if I sit here?” He asked.
“Oh, sure.” You agreed.
The man sat, but only after he moved the chair closer to you. He was talking to you, but you were having a hard time listening. You were silently begging the guys to come to help and get him away from you.
“You know, you’re really pretty. Why don’t we get out of here? We could go get lunch.” The man suggested.
“Oh, I’m not sure I should.”
“C’mon, be a good girl and get up.” His tone became more aggressive.
You stood up without a second thought, much to the unsub’s delight. He grabbed your arm in a bruising grip and began leading you out of the café.
“They’re on the move. Why is she going with him? This wasn’t the plan.” Derek exclaimed.
Hotch’s demeanor instantly changed. After you opened up to him about your previous assignment, he understood now why you had seemingly always followed orders willingly, only your willingness had been conditioned. Instilled in you through the manipulation of a very dangerous man.
“I got it.” Hotch
Hotch stood up and turned abruptly, purposefully plowing into you and the unsub. He made a move that shifted you away from the unsub and placed himself between you.
“Oh, I am so sorry!” Hotch feigned innocence.
“Are you fucking kidding me? Watch where you’re going asshole. Let’s get out of here.” The unsub reached for your arm once more.
“She’s not going anywhere with you.”
“You want to bet?”  he said, pulling a gun from his waistband and pointing it directly at your head.
You didn’t flinch, in fact you didn’t move a muscle. All the while everyone else sprung into action. Hotch tried to talk him down while the rest of the team surrounded him on all sides. You had stood there completely disassociated while this man threatened your life and ultimately met his untimely end via Emily’s weapon.
--
“Y/n would you please come to my office?” Hotch requested.
You silently followed Hotch to his office. You were wringing your hands, hoping that he wouldn’t reprimand you for your behavior today. You couldn’t handle disappointing people.
“You didn’t even flinch. You had a gun pointed at you and you didn’t even blink. You also willingly left the café with him, which was not a part of the plan we had discussed.” Hotch stated, his tone calm.
“I’m sorry Hotch. He told me to get up and I just…I wasn’t sure what to do. I know we needed to catch the guy.”
“I don’t want you getting hurt.” Hotch admitted. “I don’t know what I would do if you got hurt. I also don’t want you to agree to do things simply because someone tells you to. Like agreeing to go undercover.”
“I don’t know how to do that. Disagree I mean. I’m not sure I have that in me anymore.” You did everything in your power to keep the tears at bay. “I don’t want to disappoint you.”
“Y/n I’m not disappointed. I do think that it is very important you continue to work with your therapist.”
“I will.”
--
“…and I just stood there.”
“Y/n you we conditioned for over a year to sit still when any sort of firearm was shot, you watched people die right in front of you. You were covered in their blood and forced to remain kneeling until instructed otherwise. I can’t say I am entirely surprised that you didn’t react to having a weapon pointed at you. What does surprise me though was that you agreed to going undercover.” Sylvia finished.
“I knew it was our best option to finding this unsub. I fit the victimology, and I was able to fish him out. It was a no-brainer.” You shrugged.
“Now that sound like someone making a rational decision.” Sylvia smirked.
“Yeah well, after the case Hotch called me out and I felt like a child being scolded. I could barely hold back tears.”
“Why do you think that is?” She pressed.
“I don’t know. I guess, I’m afraid of not being good enough and worse, disappointing him.”
“The only person you should be worried about disappointing is yourself. Y/n you have made huge strides in the last five months and as long as you stay true to yourself, you will continue to do so.”
--
The months went on, as did the cases and your therapy sessions. Oddly enough, you had started to feel more like yourself. Things with the BAU have started to become easy, you were opening up little by little to the others and you were getting better at making your own decisions.
Hotch had also noticed the change. It had warmed his heart to see you really coming into your own, to really get to know the real you. Which had only strengthened his feelings toward you, causing him to work extra hard to shove them down. Rossi knew simply from the look Hotch gave you, but that’s a story for another time.
The team had been working back-to-back cases all over the country for the last few weeks. It had been exhausting and the team were getting to a point where everyone was snippy. Lack of sleep had led to a horrible lack of patience, and the local officers weren’t making matters any better.
“What if we were wrong, I think the unsub is a woman. I mean look at the attention to detail in the clean up and at how the bodies were presented.” You offered.
“Y/n could be right; a woman would take the time to be precise and it would explain the…”
Before Spencer could finish his thought, Officer Riley decided to provide his own theories.
“There is no way it is a woman. They don’t have the courage to take care of people like this. That’s why the statistic proves that the unsub is a man.”
“With all due respect, women are just as capable of murder as men, and when they do it they are often far more meticulous which is why that fits better here.” You explained.
“Well, with all due respect ma’am, I’ve been doing this job longer than you could walk.”
“Excuse me?” You couldn’t bother hiding your surprise.
“All I’m saying sweetheart, is that perhaps you’d be better off getting us some coffee.” Officer Riley sneered.
“Last time I checked, I’m the one working for the FBI and not some Podunk little police station in the middle of nowhere, Idaho. So how about you back off and let us finish our…”
“Y/N TAKE A SEAT.” Hotch demanded.
Despite your shock at Hotch’s tone toward you, you took a seat without hesitation.
“Officer Riley, please let my agents do their work. We have much more important things to be doing than arguing about the duties of a woman.” Hotch chided.
“Well, you clearly agree with me given the fact that you gave her an order. If you’d been on her side you’d have probably told me off.” Riley turned to you, “and you clearly do know how to listen to a man in charge. Perhaps I misjudged you.”
With that, Riley made his leave with a low chuckle, and you sat there considering what had just happened. Hotch had commanded you to sit down knowing full well you’d comply, that way he could deal with Riley without you continuing to tell him off. He used what he knew about you against you, despite all the conversations you’ve had with him. Despite him knowing full well your fear of blindly following orders.
“I can’t believe you.” You stood up and walked out, heading straight for the precinct exit.
“Y/n wait!” Hotch followed you.
As you landed on the sidewalk just upon the exit, Hotch’s had made its way around your upper left arm in a desperate attempt to slow you down and hear him out. Only you were in no mood to listen to him or anyone else right now. All you felt was the sense of betrayal blooming in your chest.
As he swung you back around to face him, you did something that shocked even you. You right arm followed around, landing a harsh slap to Hotch’s cheek. Your breathing was ragged, a look of surprise painting your features…a look of guilt flooding Hotch’s.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t…” You paused.
“No, Y/n I am so sorry I shouldn’t have-” Hotch pleaded.
“I need to go. I can’t do this. I’m sorry.” With that you left, calling a taxi, and heading back to the hotel.
--
“YOU STUPID BITCH! HOW COULD YOU?” Emilio Screamed, lunging toward you.
“Emilio I didn’t, I just…I”
Emilio wrapped his hand around your throat, harshly choking you as SWAT swarmed the shipyard. They quickly made their way to you, removing Emilio from his position over you. As they pulled him away you couldn’t help but watch him.
���Kneel Pet!” Emilio commanded.
You couldn't help but follow his order. Immediately dropping to your knees, resting your hands atop your thighs and letting your gaze fall to the ground.
“I will always own you! You will always be my pet, perfectly broken in!” Emilio hollered as they put him in the back of a vehicle.
“Y/n you’re okay, lets get you up and checked out.” Your unit commander suggested.
Only you didn’t move. You couldn’t get up, not without his permission.
That night, the paramedics had to sedate you to get you into an ambulance. And after that you were placed in a psychiatric facility for 30 days to help undo the brainwashing you’d endured.
--
“Sylvia, I slapped him. My boss, I slapped him right in the face!”
“Y/n you reacted to a situation and based on what you just explained to me, it seems like he knew he was in the wrong. You shouldn’t be blaming yourself and honestly, you should talk to him.”
“I wouldn’t even know where to begin.”
“Maybe tell him how you feel.” Sylvia suggested.
--
You spent the afternoon practicing what to say to Hotch, Spencer had been texting you updates of that case as it progressed. He’d let you know that they caught the unsub and were headed back to the hotel. So, as you opened your door to make your way to his room, you came face-to-face with the man himself.
“Hotch.”  You gasped.
“Y/n can we talk?”
You moved aside to allow him access to your room. You couldn’t help but feel nervous about the conversation that was to come.
“Hotch, I am so sorry for slapping you! I was just-”
“You shouldn’t be the one apologizing. Y/n I am so sorry, I heard you going off on Riley and I knew that if you kept talking he’d report you and I’d be forced to suspend you, only I hadn’t considered the effect that me demanding you take a seat would have on you. I need you to know it was not my intention to take advantage of you like that and even worse, I shouldn’t have put my hand on you the way I did. You had every right to slap me.” Hotch explained.
“You were trying to protect me?”
“Riley had made threats of reporting our staff for going against orders of the precinct. I knew that he’d report you for your behavior, despite him clearly being in the wrong. I didn’t want to suspend you.”
“I didn’t realize. But Hotch telling me to take a seat, in the tone you did, it felt like I was right back there. Following orders without thinking. With you, I can’t explain it, I would do anything you asked me to and that terrifies me. My feelings for you only add to that need to do anything you say, to do anything to please you. I can’t help it.”
“You have feelings for me?”
“Aaron! Is that all you took from what I just said?”
“Please say that again.” He whispered.
“Aaron.”
He let his eyes close and took a deep breath. You could tell he was holding back and though part of you was begging you to walk away, the other was telling you to jump in. You thought about what Sylvia would say, and you couldn’t help but release a breathy laugh, knowing full well that she would tell you that only you can make the right decision, and it is okay to trust yourself.
“Aaron, I am terrified…and it is going to take me some time to fully trust myself again, but I really like you and if you’re up for it, I’d like to give this a shot. Unless you don’t feel the same way, then please ignore what I just said an-”
Aaron pulled you in and pressed his lips to yours in a searing kiss. One that told you everything you needed to know.
“I’m scared too, but I want to try this Y/n. I know that you’re still working to find yourself, I am willing to wait if that is what you need, but I am also willing to be by your side every step of the way.”
“I don’t want to wait.”
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marvelwitchergilmore · 5 months ago
Text
First Name Basis
Summary: Aaron Hotchner x Fe!Reader -> You and Hotch have never been on First Name Basis, but as the years go on, thing begin to change.
Disclaimer: Mentions and descriptions of blood, bombs, life being in danger, slight spoilers for S4-Ep3 (Minimal Loss - Reader takes Emily's place) (But that isn't the whole fic). BAU found-family fluff, romantic fluff, soft fluff, happy ending. Not Proof Read.
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You were on a first name basis with everyone. Everyone save from Hotch. 
Of course, he would introduce you with your first name when it came to meeting police departments or official personnel but to anyone else, specifically yourself, he always used your last name. 
And you did the same with him. Like the rest of them. 
It was always “Sir,” or “Hotch,”. 
Never Aaron. 
However, this all changed after a case in Colorado. 
Yourself and Reid had gone undercover as Child Protection Agents. And it wasn’t long until things went wrong. An unknown police raid meant everyone was taken underground. And a media segment revealed that someone was FBI. 
Between yourself and Spencer, you took the rapt. You weren’t willing to watch him get shot and die. 
On the other side of the planted bug, the team could hear everything. 
And it was killing Hotch.
And Rossi could see it. 
They all could. 
His own mind was fighting against listening because he had to, and not because you were being beaten. 
A small grunt left you as you were thrown into something, and then a crash came. A mirror most likely. More grunts and one scream before…nothing. 
It was the first time in a long time his emotions had started pushing to the surface. 
Every day, he had to become an emotionless yet empathetic profiler. But at that moment…he didn’t know what he was. He was a profiler, a friend, a…he didn’t know what he was. 
“Y/n…”
His voice was barely audible. A hair above a whisper. 
But Rossi saw it. 
Even if Aaron didn’t know it yet, Rossi knew. 
Then you spoke. 
“I can take it.”
There were more sounds of fighting before another. 
“I can take it.”
“She’s antagonising him!” Derek shouted. 
“No, she’s not.”
“She’s talking to us.” Hotch told them both. “She’s telling us not to come in.”
And he didn’t. 
It was killing him not to do so, but he didn’t. 
But the moment he got a chance, writing the time of “3 am” on the takeaway box, he wouldn’t be turning back. 
When he finally saw you, a wave of relief washed over him. And the same happened for you, too. 
Once you both caught clear sight of one another, you ran towards him. 
He could see the dried blood on your face, partly washed away. And your eye was bruised. And your arms were cut up, most likely from the mirror that had broken. 
But you were alive. 
Finally reaching him, you hugged him. And he hugged you. 
“Are you okay?”
You nodded, “I will be. Where’s Morgan and Reid?”
“They’re inside-”
The place blew up. 
Hotch covered you a little, both of you feeling the aftershock of the bomb. The hand you kept on his shoulder pulled him down a little with you. But after you made sure the other was alive, you both turned back to the building. And you started walking closer to it. 
“Morgan! Reid!”
They stood up. 
“Oh, thank god.”
Making your way up the stairs, you met a coughing Morgan and Reid before Reid finally stood tall and you hugged him. 
After that case, everything seemingly went back to normal. 
Until another case came, only a few months later. 
A bomb had been planted in a building. And, when tracking the Unsub into another one, yourself and Hotch had found yourselves stuck. 
The Unsub held a trigger, and by the looks of it, he was wearing one. 
But you couldn’t shake the gnawing feeling in your stomach. 
Something wasn’t right. 
“So, what happens next? You blow yourself up? What happened to “getting all the glory”? That’s what you said, isn’t it? In your message. It was all about the glory.”
Yourself and Hotch took another step forward, but then he unzipped his jacket. 
“Another step and I take my finger off the trigger.” He warned. 
Neither of you moved, but your gaze did switch. 
The bomb the Unsub was wearing wasn’t one you recognised. It wasn’t his type. 
By the time SWAT and Bomb Disposal met you at the top of the building, it wasn’t long before he just…gave up. 
“He took hostages from the last site.”
“But we found them all.” 
Hotch nodded in agreement. “I still want to do a sweep just in case.”
“I’ll come with you.”
By the time you both reached the fourth floor, you still couldn’t shake the feeling. 
And just as Hotch reached a small storage unit, it clicked. 
“It was a fake.”
“What?”
“The bomb, around his chest. It’s a fake.”
“Why fake a bomb and then give yourself up?”
Then it clicked with the both of you. 
“How many agents are in this building?”
“Enough to keep this case in the news for the next fifty years.”
“We need to clear the building now.”
By the time you both reached the floor, calling for every agent to clear the building, someone came and found Hotch. 
“We found his briefcase. You’re gonna want to see this.”
Walking over, both yourself and Aaron peered inside. There were plans, memos, and enough cash to give him a whole new life in any country he could possibly want. 
“Get all of this processed as soon as you can.”
And Hotch walked away. 
But you stayed. 
However, the longer you stayed, the bigger that gnawing feeling in your stomach grew again. 
And once you finally lifted a pile of cash, you saw it. 
A watch with a timer. 
“Morgan! Clear the area, now!”
People started running but when you did so, Hotch was still in his place. 
“Aaron!”
Grabbing his arm on your way past, you both started running. And whether it was luck, or fate or…whatever it was. Yourself and Aaron managed to clear the site fast enough so as to not die from the explosion. 
You both were propelled forward, and landed, rolling onto the ground. And for a few moments, were stunned from the blast. 
“Are you okay?”
You nodded, managing to catch your breath. “I’m fine. Are you?”
“I think so.”
Once you were able to open your eyes, you sat back on your heels and took a look at Hotch. He was sitting in a similar position to you, except he was bleeding. 
You pushed yourself closer to him, “Jesus, Hotch. You’re bleeding.”
Once you touched it, he seemed to feel it and tried to move his head away from your hand, but you pulled him back. 
“Don’t move.”
Through your wire, you called for a medic. 
“Y/l/n, I’m fine.”
“Hotch, you’re bleeding. You’re not fine.”
“So are you.”
You shook your head and turned away for a moment, pulling out your pocket knife and cutting the torn piece of your t-shirt. 
“Wait.”
Hotch took the cloth from your hands before tearing it into two and handing you a piece back, but keeping one for himself. 
Just as you pressed the cloth to his head, he did the same for your cut. There wasn’t much blood coming from your head, so once he knew that had slowed at least, he dabbed at the wound on your arm before tying the piece tight around your arm. 
Once the medics finally reached you both, you told them what injuries Hotch had and might have. 
“Check her over, too. She’s got a cut on her head. She could have a concussion.”
“I don’t have a concussion.”
The medic had helped you up from the floor and when they did so, you felt a little dizzy. 
Hotch didn’t even have to say anything. 
“Shut up.”
Thankfully, the next time either of you talked on a first name basis was when on a short vacation. 
Considering the fact that no-one of the team was due to go on holiday or drive out of state for at least three more days, Penelope Garcia took it upon herself to plan a small getaway for the entire team that meant even if they got called back (as you all usually would), you would have, at least, a break away. 
So, on a random Friday morning, you all drove to the beach. 
And it was fun, to say the least. 
By the time you arrived, you parked next to Will’s car. Both himself and JJ were getting Henry ready along with the beach bags and diaper bags. From what you could tell, everyone else was already on the beach. 
“Need some help?”
JJ nodded. “That would be great.”
“Hi, Henry. Is this his first trip to the beach?”
JJ smiled and nodded. “It is.”
“We did try and take him a few weeks ago but then he got a fever.” Will told you. 
“Well, it’ll all be worth it.”
Will handed you a couple of the bags whilst he carried the rest and JJ carried Henry, along with her beach bag, onto the beach. 
The minute you spotted Morgan flirting with a group of women a few feet from the water, you spotted Jack playing in the sand with Emily and Penelope. Spencer was trying to avoid the sun and Hotch was finishing setting up the area with a couple of windbreakers and chairs, with Rossi. 
And once you, JJ and Will arrived; the two dads continued setting up with the addition of sun parasols. 
It wasn’t long before Jack had come running up to get his dad and yourself to join him. JJ handed you Henry for a moment whilst she dug through the diaper bag to find the fruit pouches she had brought with her. 
From behind you, Aaron set up another parasol giving both yourself and Henry shade.
“I’ve put Henry’s fruit pouches in the cooler. Ready to go?”
Lifting her son from your arms, JJ carried Henry down to the water whilst Will grabbed his camera. And yourself and Aaron joined Jack, Emily and Penelope. 
By the end of the day, you had all swam in the water, built sandcastles, sunbathed, read and even been chased by Morgan when he realised yourself. Reid and Hotch had been hustling him in a game of football. 
And at some point after all of that, you must have fallen asleep because you woke up to someone lightly shaking your shoulder. 
“Y/n, hey, y/n…”
As you slowly came around, you realised it was Hotch. 
“Is everything okay?”
“Yeah, everything is fine.” 
It was odd. 
His voice was soft. It was rare, if slightly unbelievable, that Hotch showed this side of him. The one he had for Jack. The one he had for those he held close to his heart. 
“The others went for some food, they should be back soon. Garcia said she knew your order. Pizza with fries and a side of pickles.”
“That’s my girl.” You said with a sleepy smile. 
“Pickles? With Pizza? Really?”
“Hey, don’t knock it till you try it.”
Then he laughed. “Okay, I won’t.”
You smiled at his laughter. And then you thought. In all the years you knew him, you couldn’t think of a time where you had heard him laugh. Sure, you’d seen him smile a little over the years. But before The Beach…you had never heard him laugh. 
And it was like music to your ears. 
Unknown, at first, but then very quickly became your favourite song. 
By the time the others got back, Jack was excited you were awake and ran over to you, jumping towards you and you fell back with him in your arms. 
Aaron laughed again, “Jack, let Y/n breathe.”
“Penelope got you pickles.”
“Extra pickles.” She said as she handed you the pizza box and takeaway tub with fries and pickles. 
“Have I ever told you you’re a saint?”
“Yes,” she smiled. “But I don’t mind hearing it again.”
“Well you are a Saint, Penelope Garcia.”
“She has to be, for buying you pickles with pizza.” Morgan added. 
The rest of the evening passed with stories, smiles and even more laughter. 
It was also after that day you noticed when Hotch called you by your name. It hadn’t clicked with you right away, when he woke you up. But when you fell asleep in the round table room after more than 30 hours of work, you noticed it more. 
Usually, whenever you fell asleep when case hours ran over, you would be jolted awake by someone (typically Hotch) calling your last name. 
But since The Beach, you were woken up with a soft touch to your arm, shaking you lightly, before he said your first name. 
“Go home, get some rest.”
“No, it’s fine.”
“No, it’s not.”
You grumbled, sitting up. “By the time I get home, I’ll be on my way back.”
Hotch sighed. “Fine. But you can use the sofa in my office. It’s better than your desk.”
“Thanks, Hotch.”
However, a few months later, something else changed. 
A case had been brought into the roundtable room, and everyone was there. Except for you. 
“Not like Y/l/n to be late.” Rossi said, pulling out his chair. 
“Try her again.” Hotch told Garcia. 
“Yes, Sir.”
“Maybe she’s just catching up on sleep.” JJ offered. 
“Why would she be catching up on sleep? We all landed back here two nights ago.”
“Is she dating?” Morgan asked. 
Hotch looked up. 
“No, but her neighbours are.” JJ told them. 
“Ooh, that’s gotta be tough.” Prentiss said. “Back in college, I had a roommate the same. Many sleepless nights. That was when I bought my first pair of noise cancelling headphones.”
Garcia called you three more times. 
“We’ll continue with the case,” Hotch told everyone. “We can catch her up when she wakes up.”
Except two hours later, you still hadn’t picked up. 
And then Hotch got a phone call.
“Is everything okay?”
“I’m going to find Y/n,” Hotch told Rossi as he passed him. 
“Do you know where she is?”
“A good idea.”
“I’ll come with you.”
After thirty minutes, and eventually passing the turn for your apartment complex, Rossi spoke up. 
“Her apartment-”
“I know, but she won’t be there.”
“Then where is she?”
“She has a second home.”
Rossi didn’t say anything but he couldn’t help but notice that Aaron knew the way, without having to put anything into the GPS. 
“Are you going to tell me what happened?”
Hotch sighed a little. Part of him didn’t want to, because he didn’t know if you would want anyone to know. But he’d gone this long without telling Rossi. 
“There was a crash this morning. Don’t worry, she wasn’t hurt. But one of her friends was. They’re okay, too. They’re being kept in the hospital for a few days but were more worried about Y/n’s reaction.” 
“How did she react?”
“She didn’t.”
“Well, that’s not good.”
Pulling up outside of your home, Aaron stepped out and rushed towards the door, finding the spare key and letting himself in. The doorbell camera would have let you know they were there. 
And then he called your name.
Rossi took in the structure and the decoration of your home. He didn’t know you owned a property outside of your apartment, but by the looks of it, you spent more time outside of work here than you did at your apartment. 
There were photos of yourself with your friends, as well as the team. It was tidy, and the place smelt of blueberries and cinnamon. 
Turning around the bottom of the stairs, Aaron took them two at a time before reaching the top and when he did, Rossi could see him standing on the landing, as well as stall when you called back. 
“Aaron?”
Coming from out of your room, you walked down the hall and Rossi watched as Aaron’s demeanour changed. In the car, he had been tense. In fact, he had been tense since you hadn’t walked into the office. 
But standing at the top of the stairs, hearing your voice as well as seeing you, he relaxed. 
And his voice became softer. 
“Hey,”
You walked towards him and he hugged you instantly. 
“How did you find me?”
“The hospital called. The nurse said Abby was worried about you. Are you okay?”
Aaron moved back a little to examine your face. You had been crying. Your eyes were a little puffy and your cheeks were tear-stained. 
With his thumb, he wiped away the streaks and you melted into his touch for a second. 
“Yeah, I’m fine.”
“Are you?” 
You nodded, “I just…it scared me, you know?”
Aaron nodded. “What do you need?”
“A hug?”
A light smile graced his lips for a moment. “I can do that.”
And he embraced you, tightly. Securely. 
Rossi smiled for a moment before quietly walking away to snoop through your house. And by the time you both walked downstairs, you hand in Aaron’s, Rossi was in the kitchen. 
“Next time Penelope tries to arrange a dinner party, we’re holding it here.”
“So long as you cook.”
“But I don’t see any-”
You and Aaron gave each other a knowing look before you moved and opened up two cabinet doors. It contained three different spice racks, a selection of dry herbs and all standard ingredients to make any one of Rossi’s signature sauces. 
He’d given you enough recipes over the years (not that you didn’t have to work to get them – there had been so many coffee runs) that you made sure you always had the main ingredients needed, and you could always pick up fresh ones on your way home. 
“You’re not the best snooper.”
“I’m a profiler. Not a detective.”
“You’re still an FBI Agent.” Aaron added, backing you up. 
“So, sue me.”
After that case, nothing else changed. 
Both yourself and Aaron remained on a first name basis. Especially considering that two years later, you and Aaron started to share the same last name. 
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simpforrooster · 5 months ago
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then why don’t you, hotchner.
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aaron hotchner x reader
summary: reader is obsessed with their boss.
t/w: some cursing, alcohol consumption. i pictured a female as i wrote, but im pretty sure it can be read as gn!
aaron hotchner is your unit chief. your very hot unit chief.
you’re completely aware of how unethical this infatuation is. you’re also aware of the age difference.
not that you care.
nothing could come of this crush. no matter how much you dreamed something would.
jj, emily, and penelope knew about this silly little crush. i mean how couldn’t they. they’re profilers, and as much as you try not to let your gaze linger on him longer than normal, sometimes it couldn’t be helped.
you’re nestled in a corner booth of your local bar with the rest of the team, blowing off some steam after a case.
reid sits next to you, animatedly talking about his latest read.
hotch meets your eye across the table, feeding you a rare smile. as quick as it appeared, it was gone. the last thing you needed was for one of the girls to notice and try feeding you false hope.
jj was the worst about it. “y/n, he’s obsessed with you. haven’t you noticed he always pairs the two of you together on a case?”
of course, you have wondered about that.
reid lays his arm on the back of the booth, enveloping you. “you need to add this one to your list,” reid tells you, looking down at you. you crane your face to his, grinning at your friend.
what you missed was the way hotch’s jaw set as he watched the two of you. you miss the way his grip tightens on the handle of his mug.
hotch throws the rest of his beer back, setting the mug down a little too hard.
“let me get you another, boss,” derek says, eyeing the rest of the table.
“oh, this is our song, jj,” emily screams, pulling jj to the dance floor.
“spence, come tell me more about that book,” penelope says. reid’s brows knit together, and penelope jerks her head toward the bar. realization falls over his face and they’re the last to leave. leaving you and hotch alone.
“they’re not exactly subtle, are they?” he asks, a smirk on his face.
“i guess i could say the same about you,” you gestured toward his empty mug.
hotch shrugs his shoulder. “i’m not sure what came over me.” he held your gaze, leaning across the table.
“what was that about?” you ask.
“come on, y/l/n. you’re a better profiler than that.” those dark eyes bore into yours.
"were you jealous, hotchner?" you ask, calm and collected on the outside but dying on the inside. maybe jj was right.
“why would i be jealous of reid when i know i’m the one you want?”
your cheeks redden. hotch stands from his spot in the booth and slides in next to you. the man has shocked you into silence. there is no way your boss is flirting with you.
hotch’s jaw works back and forth, like he’s fighting an inner battle with himself.
“how do you know that?” you murmur.
“you think i don’t notice the glances you sneak at me? or the way your cheeks turn red when i have to be stern with someone?” his fingertips run across your cheeks. “give me some credit here.”
embarrassment fills your body, making your heart sink to your feet. of course he knew. he’s the damn unit chief. he’s the best profiler the fbi has.
“what’s confusing to me is how you never picked up on why i partner the two of us up. or how i sneak my own glances at you,” he says, low in your ear. “or how turned on i get when i watch you hand someone their ass.”
“hotch—“
“i know. i’m your boss and twice your age.”
your body falls back against the wall, all the air leaving your body as if you were punched. of course the unit chief has a moral compass.
“i-i- i don’t care about that,” you manage to say. hotch’s eyes close, another internal battle. he scoots closer to you, filling trapping you between him and the wall.
“dave told me you’d say that.”
“rossi? you’ve been talking to him about us?”
hotch smirks. “he’s been pushing me to make a move since you joined the unit.”
“then why don’t you, hotchner?” you ask.
“because the paperwork would kill me,” he murmurs, leaning closer to you.
“hmm, maybe i could help you fill it out?” you suggest, letting your eyes drop to his mouth.
hotch moves in, stopping a breath from your lips. “no paperwork would get completed if i had you in my office all to myself.” gripping the collar of his button down, you pull him the remainder of the way to you.
his lips mold around yours in a way you can only describe as perfection. like his lips were made for you, and you alone. he kisses you with an urgency, and you match it. raising up from the booth, you arch yourself into him. his hand cement to your waist, pulling you as close as he can.
when he pulls back, his face is flushed. the aaron hotchner is blushing.
because of you.
pride fills your gut knowing you affect him the same way he does you.
“you’re gonna submit that paperwork to strauss, right?” you ask, breathless.
“fuck yes,” he says, pulling you in for another kiss.
a/n: my first criminal minds fic! i’ve been writing for topgun maverick for a long time. since beginning to watch criminal minds again, i’ve been dying to write for hotch and reid. i hope yall liked this! 🫣
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hoe4hotchner · 2 months ago
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helloo can you write a hotch x reader where the reader is very clumsy and bruise easily and always show up to work in bruises which cause them to worry and especially hotch and she have to reassure him that it’s just her that bumps and trip into things and stuff
Discoloration | [A.H]
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𝘗𝘢𝘪𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨: 𝘈𝘢𝘳𝘰𝘯 𝘏𝘰𝘵𝘤𝘩𝘯𝘦𝘳 𝘹 𝘎𝘯!𝘙𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳 𝘊𝘞: 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘤𝘦𝘳𝘯, 𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘣𝘳𝘶𝘪𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘨, 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘬𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘤𝘦 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘳𝘺𝘪𝘯𝘨, 𝘨𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘭𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘯𝘵𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯, 𝘤𝘭𝘶𝘮𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘴, 𝘏𝘰𝘵𝘤𝘩 𝘣𝘦𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘵𝘦𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘷𝘦, 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘴𝘶𝘳𝘢𝘯𝘤𝘦. 𝘞𝘊: 0.6𝘬
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           You were no stranger to clumsiness. Bumping into things, tripping over nothing, catching your arm on the edge of desks or walls - it was just part of your daily routine at this point. Unfortunately, that also meant your skin was often painted with bruises in varying shades of purple, blue, and yellow dotting your arms and legs like some kind of accidental artwork.
           Arriving at work with another fresh set of marks wasn’t uncommon for you. But as the days went on, you noticed more and more concerned glances from your team. You brushed it off, figuring they'd catch on soon enough. Everyone at the BAU had sharp eyes, after all, and it wasn’t long before the questions started.
           It was Hotch, of course, who took the lead. One afternoon, after you’d bumped your shin on a filing cabinet, you saw him watching you, his brows furrowed in a way that showed more than just curiosity. It was worry.
           “Agent, can we talk?” Hotch asked, gesturing to his office with a slight nod. You knew that tone - it was serious, a mixture of concern and authority that he wielded effortlessly.
           You followed him upstairs, your mind already piecing together what this was about. Once inside, he closed the door and turned to you, his dark eyes scanning you like he was trying to solve a puzzle.
           “Are you okay?” he asked, voice soft but direct. "I’ve noticed… the bruises. And I’m not the only one." He gestured to the rest of the team sitting down in the bullpen
           Your heart sank a little, realizing how it must look from his perspective. You smiled nervously, shaking your head. "Oh, no, Hotch, it's not what you're thinking. I’m just really clumsy. I bump into things all the time - honestly, I’m kind of a walking disaster."
           His frown deepened, and he took a step closer. “I’ve seen how often you come in with new bruises. If something else is going on, you can tell me.”
           You could feel the tension between his concern and your own awkwardness at having to explain your constant lack of grace. “Really, it’s just me,” you insisted, your voice steady but gentle. “I trip over my own feet, walk into doors, catch my arms on things. I’ve been like this forever. My skin just bruises really easily.”
           Hotch still didn’t look convinced. He studied you for a moment longer, then let out a small sigh, running a hand over his face. “You’re sure?”
           “I’m sure,” you said, offering him a reassuring smile. “I promise, Hotch, if something was wrong, you’d be the first person I’d tell.”
           He nodded, though the tension hadn’t entirely left his features. He trusted you, but his protective nature wouldn’t let go of the worry that easily. “I just don’t want to see you hurt,” he murmured, his voice low and sincere.
           You softened at his words. “I appreciate it, Aaron. Really. But I’m okay. Just a little clumsy.”
           Finally, a small smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. “Maybe we’ll have to wrap you in bubble wrap.”
           You laughed, the tension in the room dissolving at last. “Might not be a bad idea,” you teased. Glad to see him joke around for once.
           He reached out, placing a gentle hand on your arm, his thumb brushing against a bruise there. His touch was careful as if he was trying to protect you from further harm. “Just… be careful, okay?”
           “I will. And thank you for worrying.”
           With one last glance, he nodded, his features relaxing a little more. You left his office, feeling lighter than when you’d walked in. It was nice to know he cared so deeply, even if it was over your clumsiness.
           But next time, maybe you’d make a conscious effort to avoid the corners of furniture.
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