#i dont really. get much. and i know i ask a lot. and im sorry for that

[syscest]

system[?] here. i guess? idk, this is just a confession and maybe asking for advice if there is any for something like this. i struggle a lot with singletmoding when depression and dysphoria gets bad, and it has been bad a lot lately. like months. and its hard because im basically just fragments anyways, nothing super distinct. and i dont have a headspace, or voices. so i dont know what to do to make myself feel more plural. sometimes a really distinct headmate comes to front and it feels like something but most of the time it feels like nothing and i miss plurality. but its not easy. idk if theres any advice because so much of it focuses on having a headspace or looking inward or creating a headspace etc etc but when we had tried that before it made the host at the time go dormant due to stress and we still didnt get like a headspace out of it. idk. you dont have to post this, im sorry.

shhhhh anon - so, for the record our system:

doesn't have a headspace or any sense of spatialness related to fronts/switching

doesn't have internal dialogue. we can't write notes either, our brain rejects it

doesn't have a memory split / gaps between headmates - switches are just a slight shift we help happen

tends to hold fronts for days at a time, but finds that fronts often "fade out" into mush after a while, the vividness goes away and it gets kinda generic feeling

and my main sentiment is. don't force it. these quieter types of systemhood are about connecting with yourself/ves, they're about curiosity. they're about exploration and finding new ways to express yourself/ves. and they're all about really small things instead of really big things.

We usually wouldn't offer such specific advice to a specific ask, because we hate prescribing the way systems should be - but this is our personal thought process for when we've masked ourself into a hole and forgotten what we're even capable of experiencing.

So, think of a chime, or a pond - if it's thrashed, it's an unclear mess well after you stop, but if you touch it while it's still, that input resonates, and what you put in slowly comes back to your ears and eyes. Systems often have this "reflective" quality, I think - which means reconnecting with your system often means looking for things you put in to it.

You miss the feeling of your system. That's a good start - let yourself have that. It kinda sucks but, mull over and genuinely explore that feeling. Then keep your ears open from then and into the week, and you just might feel that feeling that your system misses itself/you back. Have a fondness? Same thing. Something you're wearing would look better if certain fragments were more present? *Think* that - picture it. Look after yourself through looking after your system - see if it looks after you back. Feel for that little "delay" between when you feel a feeling, and it comes back to being felt about you.

And hey, even if that doesn't mean "switching and fronts" like you want it to, maybe it'll feel good anyway.

[greyedian]

MAN I'm seriously so sad about season 2. Bc I wish act 2 had the same emotional impact on me as it appears to have on so many others. But rn I'm just somewhere between unable to care and actively annoyed by some of those writing decisions. Seriously the more I think about it the less I like it.

[thegreatyin]

this nemesis ambition started out a little slow but I am getting closer to finding that bastard who killed my wife, and I’ll not rest a minute now that im far closer to on his trail

sorry got in character for a second

Anyways fun ambition so far very fucked up though

congratulations on joining the murder club anon!!!! depending on who you ask the name refers to either people who have murdered or people who have witnessed murder. usually both. actually extremely often both. it's a swell time you'll feel right at home (don't mind our collective skyglass knife collection in the back)

[volfoss]

it is beyond infuriating how anne rice seems to insist on marius being a positive force in anyone's life ever. like she can't fully commit to exploring the fact he groomed armand and has repeatedly taken away his consent for what marius thinks is best (take the end of TVA as an example) and just kind of flatly puts it in the narrative. there's not really much interest in how these horrific events make marius come across as the worst because EVERYONE loves him. for gods sake, lestat learns from armand exactly what marius did to him in TVL and then proceeds to go find marius and be super friendly to him in the same fucking book. even armand and pandora, two of the people who have MORE than enough right to hate him, do not. it doesnt feel like shes trying to explore the toxicity of the abusive dynamic he traps them in, it just is there. and like yeah ofc the toxic vampire romance series but i think that this should be handled with more care. and it is not ever really framed in a way that she is interested in exploring how marius should easily be one of the most horrific characters in this series because it kind of feels like sa/rape/grooming/other things of that sort are just put there to further plot and not to really get the respect that they deserve in a medium.

[spoopdeedoop]

this might be personal, but how did you know you were aro? asking for a friend!!

also, got any tips for joining the lmk art fandom?

ah!

i realized i was aro bc i’ve been asked out three times by three seperate friends and i would always say yes with the mindset of “they’re my friend, it’ll be weird if i say no, and i want them to be happy” which was the first red flag — romantic relationships should be for the pleasure and benefit of BOTH people, not just one. it’s not a transaction; it’s supposed to be a mutual thing.

i kinda glossed over that because, again, they were my friends and i want to make them happy, and kind of tricked myself into thinking i liked them romantically because i liked being around them (there’s a difference between platonic love and romantic love that i didn’t know yet, but looking back, whatever i felt for them was definitely not romantic. just wanting to be around your friends because you like their company doesn’t have any romantic connotations, really).

i think at one point one of them kissed me and i did not like it. and that made me realize i didn’t like the relationship at all. and i had to sit with myself for a bit to realize why. im not gonna go into too many personal details but aromantic was the conclusion i came to. i wasn’t happy with it, but it fit. and eventually i’ve just come to accept that about myself :)

for joining the lmk art fandom? i’d just say draw what you like tbh. dont worry about appealing to people, your art is for you :)

[buwheal]

you make it sound like youre drowning in asks that suck or something. if majority of ppl aren't getting it it's because it's either; not the same askers, new people, people who aren't going to read thru 70 something asks, ppl who saw a reblog and sent an ask and didn't go to og post to read your tags to get hints, or just generally ppl not understanding it

holding up asks and saying 'i dont want ones like this' and then not explaining why is just mean. 'nobody is learning' are you explaining it clearly, or are you just vaguely hinting and then getting mad when people don't get it?

and like. when you hold up ppls asks/show them off like 'this is wrong', what about that would make those anons want to come back? they see that and think 'well i fucked up and my ask i sent genuinely is not what the blog runner wants/I don't want my ask screenshotted to be picked apart or laughed at again, so i just wont send a new one', which leads to the kind of ppl who are observant but don't want to send you asks - because theyre afraid of getting it 'wrong', and having a screenshot made of them on a public post about how stupid/wrong they are

acgghh sorry,, i genuinely didnt realize how that came across,, i'll stop doin that!!! Sorry!!! It never occurred to me it probably looks mean asf </3 Ive (tried to) explain before when i do that but i may be doin it wrong,, thats my bad. I dont mean it to make them seem stupid but the way its presented looks like that i guess X-S its a little easier to understand when youre giving me another perspective, so thanks /gen

[cvsette]

My roommate got back from the hospital (still not sure why he went other than that it was for mental health reasons) and was smoking sitting right under my A/C and as I was waiting for him to get up so I could leave I was like “hey sorry I have to go to my MRI appointment” and he was like “hey...can we talk?” and I was like “no Sorry I have to go to my MRI?” And now I’m brainstorming ways to stay away from the apartment for as long as possible with a slightly better but still thrown out back

[deoidesign]

please take as much time as you need to rest and recover. burn out is so hard and takes so much to heal from. your art and your supporters will still be here when you get back :) take care <3

Thank you very much

Unfortunately, my situation doesn't really allow me to take the time I need. I've got a ~two month hiatus scheduled for my midseason, but much like my first hiatus I'll most likely be working double time during it...

It's unfortunate because I could really really use a bigger break!

Having the time and flexibility to work on other projects really fires me up and keeps me going, and being able to take a guilt free day off for family and friends is necessary to my mental health, and I've been having to turn people down lately...

This is a very kind message, and I'm sorry to vent in response! But I just feel transparency about the pressure I'm under is necessary and important. I'd love to take the time I really need, but due to deadlines and that pesky "needing money to live" I can't.

But, once the series is over I intend to take a pretty big break before I start whatever I'm doing next! I've got so many short stories and projects planned that I want so badly to get to, I can't wait to really get to truly dive in to them!

[milfbrainrot]

i feel like i type so much more than is reasonable when i do talk to people but i also don't get to socialize a ton so i just have soooo many words in me and if i'm like, tired or short on time, it is so much harder to restrain to the already-pushing-it point i can sometimes manage ;-;

[observancesys]

.

[unculturedswine69]

WAIT HELP I READ TOO FAST 😭😭

omg but who are your favs in the twdg games... 😳😳😳

OH HFHGFHJ ITS FINE I DO THAT ALL THE TIME TOO BUT YEAH AS YOU KNOW I LOVE THE GAMES AND SHOW AND ALSO THE COMIC!! BUT FOR THE GAMES UHMMM..omg this is SUCH a tough question honestly?? like, i feel very complicated about basically every character in this series so its hard to just pick one fave....

hmm i will say tho i have ALWAYS loved Lee and Clementine (obviously,who doesnt hehe) i just love them sm 😭the first game just makes me so emotional FRFR in the first game i also loved Ben,Chuck, Omid and Christa and Molly!! id also include Kenny but...i have a sorta love/hate relationship with that guy 😭😭😭😭hes such a good character tho!! in general i think the first game was just so good😌😌

for the other games im less familiar with them since ive only played the other seasons once each so my memory is probably a little off,but i remember really liking Sarah ,Nick,Luke and Jane from the 2nd season,but again i think some of these characters are like. love/hate with me currently,i think s2 is so turbulent that its kinda hard to pick faves really (for me atleast) with the 3rd season i remember LOVING that Tripp guy and also Javier,but its been years since i last played the game so i probably have a bunch of different opinions on everything now😭😭in general i just dont remember too much from that game,i definitely have to replay it eventually..for s4 tho?? hmm honestly,i think i loved like,90% of the cast in that LMAO but i think i liked uhhm AJ the most.and also i think his name was Asim (or aasim) and Ruby,i liked them alot i think,and louis and violet too 😌😌😌also the dog?? does the dog count??? in general i just thought the characters were pretty interesting in that game,but again i think ima just have to replay all of these again to see how i REALLY feel

ANYWAYS THANKS FOR THE QUESTION AURA!!! i would LOVE to know your faves too😈😈😈😈😈😈

[snekdood]

not sure who needs to hear this but i do not see myself as above anyone, like, at all. if something I posted makes you think I think I am you're probably misreading it or my intentions. I dont feel the need to compare myself and make myself feel like i'm above people, i'm just not really that kind of person. in fact, people make a point of constantly trying to make me feel below them on here so dont worry, you don't gotta help em'.

[danidoesathing]

I agonized over which to pick because I just want to ask about all your fics in progress!! I narrowed it down to two and that's just going to have to be ok

the world is staged and the script is set (you cannot change the ending)

Jukeboxes and Maple Syrup

its very funny you pick those two because those like. two of the only three on that list that ISNT lord huron related lmao. those are both hatchetfield fics ive started in secret. regardless those are the main ones im working on right now SO

the world is staged and the script is set (you cannot change the ending) is a fic based on the ending of TGWDLM where like. you know how in the credits where Emma starts begging the audience for help? and like. you know how in TTO how the audience is also referred to by Bliklotep's title? soooo the fic is the ending but i throw him in the mix and ramp the already existing horror of "begging for help and being ignored a cheering crowd" by going "realizing said crowd has been treating your suffering and death as a source of amusement right before you die". only fun times in hatchetfield

"She stumbles to the edge of the stage. The stitches in her leg have come undone and there’s blood seeping through the bandage. That is real. Emma is real, and she needs to help right now."

Jukeboxes and Maple Syrup is a fic that takes place directly after the end of Yellow Jacket that focuses on Daniel and Sophia like. right after the ending. we dont really see them after the Otho fight and we still have no clue is Sophia is even ALIVE and also i miss them dearly. the fic mostly focuses on Daniel trying not to have a panic attack in Miss Retros because one friend is missing after almost dying and the other is in the hospital after also almost maybe dying and he doesn't really know what to do. Not a whole lot of plot it's mostly him trying to deal with that whole. mess. luckily he's got Miss Holloway and Duke to make things a bit easier (responsible adults? in MY hatchetfield? its honestly only these two but its better than nothing)

"He feels so stupid. Sophia is in the hospital and she might never wake up. Hannah is missing and could be kidnapped or dead or worse. And he’s just sitting here in a cozy diner with pancakes and orange juice, and Hannah’s Jacket but not Hannah and not Sophia."

[junkissed]

Hello! I'm new to this blog and I was just wondering whatever happened to King's Gambit (the 95 line collab)? i'm not really expecting a full answer but I just wanted to talk to you and had nothing else to say ❤️

the king's gambit masterlist — teaser for my fic

don't worry it definitely is still happening and we haven't forgotten about it!! for this collab there's one plot shared between all three of us, and we're each writing a member's perspective so everything is interconnected with each other's fics. since they share the same major events we can't really move forward on the fics unless all of us are ready at the same time, and it's been hard finding time for us to get together and flesh out how our fics end. we are for sure going to finish it eventually because we've all put way too much work into this for it to never be posted (mine is currently at 22k, nova's @duhnova is around 20k and mars @onlymingyus is over 60k) but i can't give you a timeline because i don't know it myself :/ i would really really love for it to be out by the end of this year but that may not be possible, it just depends on the other members of the collab and how much we can all get written. i know it's been over a year since we announced it and i'm so so sorry that we've kept everyone waiting, i want to finish this fic as much as you want to read it and i wish i had something better to update you guys with but that's honestly all i have for now

[l0rd-0f-c0ws]

I frequently feel completely isolated no matter how much I talk to people. So that's fun

[ryuseitai]

guy that likes being independent when he has to do stuff alone