#and how tired i feel explaining this and knowing ive got another 3 months before i get another break | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

al9ayf · 2 years ago

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ᥫ᭡ 𝐰𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧 | carlos oliveira x f!reader

✧ chapter 3 :: snake

｡˚ word count: 6.32k

｡˚ a/n: i need to give all y’all awards for waiting 6 months for the third chapter 😭 i am so sorry for the long wait i literally lost the motivation to write for monthsss until june hit and the gayness came out of me. i got a wake up call party people. i hope u enjoyyyy and i will be giving u more carlos content i promise

｡˚ content warning(s) :: smut, p in v

he was gone for what felt like forever.

you only realized that time was passing because of the different sounds jill would make. other than that, you sat still looking at the iv bag drip in a continuous pattern. but then you heard it. the sound of somebody running. you didn’t freak out or even bother moving. you were too tired, and you already knew who it was anyway. his footsteps were familiar.

carlos stopped running right as he opened the double doors. you were seated next to jill on a rolling chair with no back support. you turned your head to face him, eyes dropping to his belt where you spotted the vaccine dangling from it. you then looked up at him and noticed the smallest expression of anger.

“was he there?” you asked, standing up.

“oh, he was there,” carlos said, coming right up to you. “—sitting there dead.” your facial expression didn’t change. instead, you only rolled your eyes and turned around to face jill.

“were there any more?” you asked.

“none,” he said. “he left a video on the computer explaining everything, which i assume you alre—“

“yes, i already know.” you snapped, turning your head to face him. you were angered at the fact that nicholai killed your only coworker left to help you. the only other coworker besides yourself who knew how and where to make another fucking vaccine. you couldn’t do this alone, but you had to now.

you kicked the chair beside you and walked across the room to get the supplies needed. it was only a bandage, alcohol wipes, and some gloves. you didn’t want to infect her even more with whatever you had. you slipped the gloves on and went to work. carlos handed you the vaccine after you had wiped the area you were going to inject it in. you stuck the needle into her arm gently, hearing her wince at the pinching pain as you injected the vaccine into her. after that, you placed the empty cartridge on the stand beside you.

“she’ll still have a fever,” you said as you grabbed the bandage.

“for how long?” asked carlos.

you glanced up at him, then back down at jill’s arm so you could start wrapping the bandage. “don’t know,” you said. “it depends on how well she handles it.”

once you finished, you backed away from her and walked away. carlos came up next to her and eyed her face. she seemed to look somewhat better. he turned around to look back at you, seeing that you were removing the blue latex gloves from your hands and dumping them in the trash. you glanced at him to see that he was looking at you, and you felt somewhat of an easy feeling wash over you.

“we need to leave as soon as your friend arrives,” you said. “we need to create another vaccine before anything else happens.”

“where can we even find another one? umbrella has so many labs,” said carlos.

“only one of them has the materials to make the vaccine, and it’s right under this hospital.” you looked at the double doors, remembering how you visited this hospital so many times just to create and work on things that ultimately destroyed this city, and now possibly the world. you looked back at carlos.

“the horrors down there…” you muttered. “it’s a suicide mission.”

“there’s four of us, y/n. there’s no such thing as a suicide mission if we all work together,” he said.

“you don’t understand… i want that vaccine as much as you do, but there are more than just bio-weapons down there. it’s not the only thing that’s scaring me…”

“then… what is it?”

you glanced at jill who was resting peacefully, then sighed. “not in here, she needs to rest,” you turned your gaze back to him. you beckoned him to follow you out of the room. carlos opened up the door for the two of you, only to be met with tyrell running up to the door. he quickly stopped and started panting a bit, but had a relieved look on his face.

“i got here as soon as i could,” he said, still panting. “the vaccine?”

“i already gave it to jill,” you said. “she’s recovering and resting now.”

“oh, thank god,” he let out a deep sigh of relief. “and you two?”

you both stood there silently, not knowing how to answer. but you quickly cleared your throat and laughed awkwardly, “there are a few things we need to talk about privately. in the meantime, i want you to watch over jill for a bit—make sure nothing is wrong while we’re gone. but if anything happens, let us know immediately.”

“yeah, yeah of course,” said tyrell.

he entered the room which left the two of you all alone in the lobby. you walked over by the desk to get some distance away from the door so you wouldn’t disturb jill and tyrell with your voices. you played with your hands, unsure of what to say first. there was so much to go over, and your fingers kept sliding your wedding band up and down your ring finger.

“umbrella… they don’t want any of this getting out, y’know?” you asked, turning to face him. you moved your hands away from each other to stop your fidgeting. “it’s either them or some fucking spy or government group that wants it. whether it be the vaccine or the virus itself.”

you felt your heart rate kick up. “just the thought of it kills me on the inside. jesus… we’re doomed if one of those fuckers gets it.”

you started breathing heavily, almost as if you were about to go into full panic mode. you fanned yourself with your hands as you paced around the lobby worriedly. “we’re nothing compared to them. nothing, carlos!”

he walked over to you and stopped you in your tracks by placing both of his hands on your shoulders. you looked at him, still in a frenzied state. “you don’t know that,” he said. “you don’t know if there’s anybody down there anyway! you need to calm down.”

“there are rats in this company,” you said, grabbing his bulletproof vest. “one of the labs has already been infiltrated before the outbreak, and one of my coworkers is being stalked by this woman who wants the virus!”

you leaned in close to his face. “and nicholai is somewhere around the area, trying to find another way to get into this lab underneath our feet. he wants the vaccine so he can fucking sell it.”

carlos moved his hands to grab yours, moving them away from his chest so he can hold them. “listen,” he said in a commanding voice. “in a day or so, this city is going to be a goner whether we get the vaccine or not. but either way, we can still have the upper hand here if we secure the only escape route from the lab.”

you gulped down the built-up saliva in your throat, “and if we don’t?”

“we will. it’s the four of us against whoever or whatever is in our way.”

he saw you start to calm down and relax in his close embrace. you were still anxious, but you felt somewhat reassured. you were a scientist. the smartest out of the bunch here in raccoon city. fuck, you could outsmart all the bio-weapons and the undead—even the people after the virus. you were smarter than all of them combined. you looked away from him and down at the floor, cracking a smirk at yourself.

“maybe you’re right… i’ll try not to think about it in the meantime,” you gently grabbed your bitten hand. “i don’t want to stress myself out more…”

you moved away from him and walked over to one of the couches, sighing as you sat down. “i uh…”

you looked at him, locking eyes. “… i never had the chance to tell you the truth… about umbrella, about me, about all of this shit.”

carlos sat down next to you and placed his hand by yours. “if there is more to tell about your whole situation, then let’s talk about it after this whole shit show.”

“and once jill wakes up,” you added.

“yeah…”

you looked down, avoiding his gaze. “thank you.”

“for what?”

“everything.”

you looked back up at him and locked eyes. for the first time—you smiled. a gentle, soft, genuine smile appeared on your surprisingly still moisturized lips. he was almost taken aback by it, shocked at how much your smile became a rare sight to see now. it has been way too long. your smile lasted only a second longer before you looked away from his face and at his body. you reached your right hand out to grab the strap of his bulletproof vest. you played with the flashlight with your thumb, as if you were a little child with a toy.

“how heavy is it?” you asked.

“not that heavy,” he said.

you knew he was smirking, and you couldn’t help but laugh at how stupid this was. you looked at his face and raised an eyebrow. “i can see you breaking a sweat though,” you said, leaning in closer. you were just joking, of course, and it was an invitation to just be at ease and not at each other’s throats.

a lighthearted mood settled in between the two of you. “it’s not ‘cause of the vest, but because of you,” said carlos.

“… i always hated your pickup lines,” you said, smiling again.

“at least they get you to smile.”

“yeah, right.”

you suddenly tugged on the vest, bringing him down to your height while almost pressing him up against you. he placed both hands on either side of you to not fall on top of you and crush you.

you let go of the vest by slowly sliding your hand down the front of it, all the while looking up at him through your lashes. although you were tired, dirty, and smelled a bit bad due to the zombie guts and running around, he still thought you were gorgeous. carlos swallowed the built-up saliva in his mouth, only to quickly bend over the other way and start coughing into his fist. you sat there a bit shocked but with an amused expression on your face.

“am i that vile to you that you choked on your spit?” you laughed.

you placed a hand on his shoulder, only to move it down to his back to start hitting it gently to stop the coughing session. he let out a deep breath once he was finally finished, and turned his head to look at you. carlos saw the tiniest look of concern dancing in your eyes.

“you alright?” you asked.

he smiled at you as he leaned back on the couch. “as long as my vile wife is with me, i’m fine,” he flirted but joked at the same time.

you couldn’t help but roll your eyes at what he said, only to laugh a little right after. carlos felt at ease hearing you laugh, which helped boost his ego up a bit when he went to move his arm behind you and place his hand on your hip. you didn’t say anything as he pulled you closer to him. it felt weird to be close to him like this again. after months of being away without any communication, and the tension between the two of you the past few days—it was going to be weird. but you felt safe and comfortable. you looked up at him and into those dark eyes. he always cracked underneath your gaze. he couldn’t stare at you for too long before having to look somewhere else. you were the only woman to have this effect on him. to play better at his own game; his own flirtatious game. but it only helped his confidence to know that you were letting on. he was coming back into your life as your husband again.

he looked back at you quickly, fearing that if he strayed his gaze away for too long that you wouldn’t be there anymore. but there you were, smiling softly. he cracked again. you were just so beautiful.

“carlos…” you spoke his name as if it was the first time you heard it. he moved his head down to yours and you stayed. you didn’t move away. this was the perfect moment. he grabbed your cheek and placed a gentle kiss on your lips. you kissed back eagerly. your lips were still so soft and so moisturized. it felt amazing. when he pulled away, he couldn’t help but move back in for more.

he peppered kisses from your mouth to your chin, then down to your neck and the place behind your ear which always made you gasp and moan. his kisses only grew more eager and lust-driven. but you couldn’t do it here, not now! you moved your head so your lips could connect one more time before you grabbed his arm and stopped him. he rested his forehead against yours and stayed looking at your lips.

“baby—“ you said but got cut off.

“shut up.” carlos said and went back to work. he laid you on the couch and feverishly kissed you again. he moved his hands down to your shirt and rode it up, exposing your stomach and bra. you bit your lip to suppress a moan and placed your arm over your mouth to make sure it didn’t split out. carlos only moved your arm away and you gave him a serious look.

“we can’t,” you whispered. “it’s too risky.”

“i don’t care,” he said, kissing you. “i have to scratch fucking my wife in a apocalypse off my bucket list.” you cursed him as you laughed.

carlos moved you off the couch and bent you over it as he came up from behind you. you looked over your shoulder and frowned. “on the floor? really?” you asked.

he shrugged his shoulders. “you were going to fall off eventually. you know me,” you muttered a “shut up”. you couldn’t take him seriously at times, especially now. he hooked his fingers on your pants and underwear, making sure to slide both of them down at the same time. you were glad he couldn’t see your red face. you became embarrassed when you suddenly heard him laugh.

“a thong? really?” he asked. you rolled your eyes. “were you expecting this to happen?” carlos only continued. you wanted to hit him. when you didn’t give him a reaction, he only retaliated by spreading your legs a little wider and slipping a finger easily inside of your already dripping cunt. you laid your head on your hands and let out a shaky sigh. he smiled to himself. he pumped his finger in and out of you slowly. you could feel the roughness of his fingerless gloves against your thighs. it only made this feeling better.

you turned your head and pouted. “please, carlos…” you sighed. “just fuck me already.”

he pulled his finger out and ran it along the inner part of your thigh, making you shiver. “well since you asked so nicely…” he said, moving his finger away. you heard him unzipping his pants and some shuffling. you felt the tip of his cock enter you, but he didn’t move.

you rolled your eyes. “carlos if you don’t fucking—“ he shut you up by thrusting into you, and you gasped. he covered your mouth immediately and brought you up to his chest.

“we don’t want tyrell to hear you now,” he said, fucking you even harder. “it’ll be embarrassing for the both of us.” you couldn’t help it though. as he let go of your mouth, the first thing you did was moan even louder than your gasp. he felt so good you couldn’t even shut up about it.

you leaned your chest back against the couch to get into a more comfortable position, but every time carlos thrust into you, harder and harder, you kept being pushed back against him. he was going to fuck you dumb at this point. and even though he told you to shut up, he was also moaning and grunting, but in a much quieter voice. carlos suddenly stopped and slipped his dick out of you. you were going to turn and face him but he only moved you off of the couch and onto the floor.

your back was now on the floor with your legs spread just a little. carlos grabbed your pants and underwear again and moved them down to your ankles just to take them off, not bothering to do the same with your shoes. he just wanted the clothes out of his way. you brought your finger up to your lips as he brought you right to him, and slid right back in even more. you bit hard and moaned. carlos’ grip around your hips tightened as he fucked even harder and faster. his hair stuck to his face and his mouth couldn’t and wouldn’t stay shut.

“carlos—“ you moaned, reaching your hands up to his face. you cupped his cheeks and brought his head down to yours, immediately kissing him to shut the both of you up. your saliva mixed with his as your tongues clashed against each other. you moaned at how good everything felt. how good he was at making every part of your body sweat and shake. your cunt clenched around his dick and that is when he bit on your bottom lip in response.

your hand snaked around the back of his neck and you dug your nails into it in response, but it wasn’t hard enough to hurt him. carlos kissed you one more time and then pulled away from your lips. your bottom lip throbbed just like your cunt and you only felt more pleasure from it. carlos started to go faster, and your body twisted from it. fuck, fuck, fuck you were close and you know he knew too. carlos’ breathing became heavier and your moans only became louder.

he bucked his hips into yours and groaned. “you really love being loud,” he moaned. you hummed and went to grab your tits, massaging them as he continued fucking you.

“mmm—you make me feel so good, how am i supposed to keep my mouth shut?” you managed to say, only to moan right after. carlos laughed and shook his head. within the next minute, you felt yourself become more sensitive to any touch or movement carlos made. you felt yourself. you were going to cum any minute.

you put your arm over your mouth and cried. “yes—yes! right there! oh fuck!” you moaned as he kept his pace fast and steady. “yes!” you cried as you moaned. carlos needed to hold himself together. he couldn’t cum in you but at the same time, he wanted to so bad. ugh, fuck it. with a few more hip thrusts, carlos came inside of you, becoming still as a rock as he finally had his orgasm. you followed too, and you grabbed his face to kiss him again just to conceal your moans. you were loud when you came but this time you had to keep quiet (even though you already failed at that).

when you finally stopped, you leaned your head down on the floor again and started to breathe heavily. carlos slipped out of you and fell back on his butt. he needed a breather from that fuck. it was so good, so passionate, so raw. it took him out more than killing fucking zombies did. but it has been too long and you two needed to head back inside again. carlos pulled his pants back up and zipped them. he looked at you only to see you were still laying there with your legs wide open. you were too exhausted to do anything.

he moved over to you and grabbed your knees, closing your legs together and placing his head on top of them. he smirked at you and you looked away. you were too flushed and a bit embarrassed right now.

“round two?” he teased. you only moved your legs as you lay on your side, flashing him a playful look. carlos only grabbed your arms and pulled you up. you placed your head on your legs now and smiled. “thanks,” you said, looking up at him.

carlos became confused. “for what?”

“for reminding me of how much i missed your cock,” you joked, standing up now. you heard carlos laugh at both your joke and how you wobbled over to your pants and underwear. you sat down on the couch and slid them back on with your shoes still on you. you made sure the both of you look presentable enough before walking back inside the room jill and tyrell were in. he greeted the both of you with a smile and a “hey” before going back to work on his computer.

carlos took a seat next to him as you took yours next to jill. you were monitoring her, and as you started to unhook her from the iv bag that she no longer needed, tyrell leaned in close to carlos with a small smirk on his face. “she that good?” he asked. carlos looked at him and scoffed before lightly punching his shoulder.

“shut up, man…” he muttered. you stopped what you were doing and turned to look at them. tyrell was snickering to himself while carlos gave you a quick wink. you only blushed and turned back to jill. motherfucker.

—

waiting around hoping for something to happen isn’t ideal, especially since the government was going to bomb raccoon city soon. you and carlos left tyrell in charge to look after jill since she was recovering well, and the two of you headed off into the lab to start looking for another vaccine. you weren’t sure if there were any left, truthfully, but if you had to make it from scratch then so be it.

everything was going smoothly up until the two of you got ambushed by the undead. you were forced to split up, and ever since then, you’ve been wandering around the halls alone. you knew where you were going, but you feared that carlos would be lost. if only you kept the radio. you decided that you needed to stop waiting around for carlos, and instead start going after the vaccine. you needed to get it before anybody else—if there even is another person lingering down here…

you finally arrived at the storage room in front of the lab and you quickly headed towards the lift. you didn’t see anybody on your way here so you thought to yourself that you were the only one. that is until the lift reached the monitor room and there stood nicholai with his hands behind his back looking right at you. “there’s the woman of the hour,” he said, walking towards you. you quickly got off the lift and headed to him as well, glaring straight into his eyes.

“what’re you doing here?” you asked. “there’s no business for you here.”

he looked you up and down before walking past you. “last night i saw you get bit,” nicholai turned around to see your confused and shocked expression.

“how?” you snapped, coming up to him. “i was alone. carlos wasn’t even there—“

“you forget that i’m a monitor. i watch,” he said, fully turning around to meet your eyes. “and you were stupid enough to forget that i could see you wrapping that bite up in that train.”

you bit the inside of your lip harshly and it almost bled. nicholai laughed at your shaken appearance. and to add it all on top, he placed a hand on your shoulder and smirked at you. “umbrella already knows of this. your body is a natural resistor to the virus. they would be so glad to hear from you—“

he got cut off when the power suddenly went out. you could still feel his hand on your shoulder, so you slapped it away and gave him a hard punch in the face. you surprised yourself by managing to land the blow. nicholai groaned in pain as he fell to the floor. it was still dark so you could barely see him. but then you felt him grab your leg and forcibly trip you. you yelled as you fell and landed on your bitten arm. you felt blood squeeze out at the pressure which only made you hiss at the pain.

“stupid bitch,” he muttered under his breath. he got on top of you and grabbed your neck, squeezing it. you reacted quickly, and as he struggled to strangle you, your hands felt around his waist area and grabbed the knife he had in his pocket. you grabbed it and stabbed him in the leg. nicholai screamed in pain and you then scooted away from him. you backed into the wall, breathing heavily and gasping for air. fuck it burned. you still had the knife in your hands, and you gripped tightly onto it as you stood up and made your way toward him. he was visible now in the dark. you finally managed to get a grip on your surroundings.

nicholai got up from the floor right as you tried getting a swing at his neck. he grabbed your wrist harshly and under his grip slowly started to crush it. you screamed in pain and fear as he brought the knife closer to you instead. but then the lights turned on, and he suddenly pushed you away. he ran to the sliding door and you quickly followed after him. you were going to kill that son of a bitch. as you slipped through the doors, jill came up on the platform, managing to catch a glimpse of your labcoat and hair.

“y/n!” she yelled, but you didn’t hear her. the doors shut and locked behind you and it was just you and nicholai. but in a twisted turn of events, he suddenly pressed a button he had in his hand, and down came the doors. you rushed to it and banged hard on it.

“i’ll get you, you bastard!” you yelled. “you fucking hear me?!” but he didn’t answer. you knew the lab like the back of your hand, so you turned around and ran down another big white hallway. you ran into a black door and you slammed it open. all you had with you was this fucking knife and a bitten hand. you were screwed. this place was crawling with the undead. but you were here, so you had to do something. you walked into the supply room at the end of the hall to find some bandages. yours was dirty and bloody again. when you took them off, you saw how bad your hand had got. your fingers were way too skinny and your hand seemed to have shrunk a little. what the fuck?

you quickly found some bandages and wrapped up your hand again. you left the room holding it as if you had broken it. you realized after all the adrenaline that there wasn’t much feeling to it anymore. you walked up the stairs in pain and fear. the vaccine synthesis room was only down the hall. you saw no infected around, but right as you got up to the door, you suddenly heard the sound of a few behind you. you didn’t bother turning your head to look at them. you only busted into the room with fear and shut the door behind you. you walked straight towards the machine and looked around the table. there were no materials. your breathing became heavier as you looked around the room for any materials. nothing. fucking nothing.

you fell to the floor crying and you slammed your okay hand on the ground. “fuck!” you yelled. you knew there were some in badly infected areas, but you couldn’t go there like this. you were dying, you knew it. suddenly the door busted open and jill came in with her gun aimed. you looked up at her in awe as she came down to you.

“fuck, are you hurt?” she asked, bringing you to your feet. you shook your head as she brought you to the chair nearby to sit on.

“the vaccine…” you started. “the materials aren’t in here.”

“that’s alright,” she said, placing her gun back in its holster. “i’ll go get it.”

“you don’t understand—“

“y/n, i’ve gone through worse shit. just tell me where to fucking get it and what the fuck it is,” she cut you off.

you stared at her in shock for a second only to let out a small laugh at her attitude. you enjoyed how brave she was. you sat there explaining to her where and what to get. you needed an antigen and adjuvant for it to work, but they were far from each other in deeply overrun areas. but jill didn’t care though. she only thanked you and walked out the door, only to come running back in to grab a usb drive by the computer. you laughed again at her.

—

an hour later jill came back with what you needed. she only had a few scratches on her but that didn’t matter. you told jill you would meet up with her and carlos later while you worked on this vaccine now that she had gotten rid of the infected around the area. but before she left, you told jill that there was a weapon in the lab that could destroy nemesis once and for all.

“if you can’t shake it off of you, head to that room. you will finally get rid of it there,”

and then she left. you spent the next few minutes finishing the vaccine. and as you held that bright pink tube up to your face a thought came to your mind—maybe it could help you. raccoon city was going to be a goner either way. you were still alive. everything else was gone. you needed it more, right? you looked around for a needle and managed to find one. but as you held it up, you felt like you couldn’t do it. you finally got jill’s trust and carlos back in your life. you couldn’t do it.

you threw the syringe on the floor and left the room. there was a helicopter up on the roof you could hijack and prepare for the three of you to leave. you knew a shortcut—an elevator that took you straight up there. you walked into the hallways and went through a door at the end of one of them. there was an elevator that took you up to the roof. you arrived in a minute, and there was the helicopter. you ran up to it only to be caught off guard by a gunshot. nicholai came charging at you, and you took out the knife again. he knocked you down to the ground but without getting sliced across the arm for it.

“you’re strong for somebody who is infected!” he said, sitting on top of you again. this time he grabbed the knife from your hand and threw it away, breaking your wrist in the process. you screamed and tried rolling away from him, but it hurt so bad. you started to cry and push him away with your other hand, but that one was already weak and “decayed”. nicholai grabbed your throat and raised your head from the ground, banging it onto the floor below. you screamed even more, but before he could do it again, he suddenly got shoved off of you.

you kept your eyes shut in fear and pain. your head hurts so bad. your arms were on fire. you wanted to die than continue living in this painful hell. you opened up your eyes to see carlos beating the living shit out of nicholai. but they kept turning and fighting each other it all became a blur to you. your head felt like it was about to explode. and eventually, you passed out for a few seconds only to wake up again to feel somebody searching your body. you opened your eyes to expect carlos, only to come face to face with nicholai. he grabbed the vaccine from your pocket, but at that moment it wasn’t the thing concerning you. you rolled to see where carlos was, only to find his body not moving on the ground.

“carlos!” you yelled. you could see the faint moving of his chest, so you remained calm. at least he was still alive. behind you, you heard jill run-up to the three of you. she yelled incoherent words since you kept slipping in and out of consciousness. the only thing you managed to make out was a gunshot and the sound of some glass breaking. there was so much going on as you heard some more struggling and another gunshot. then everything went quiet. carlos suddenly appeared above you and he bent down to pick you up.

“everything’s going to be okay now,” he said, lifting you. he helped you inside of the helicopter and you laid your head down on jill’s lap. you couldn’t bring yourself to move much.

“the vaccine?” you managed to ask.

“gone,” said jill in an angry voice.

you didn’t reply to her. that’s what the glass was, huh? you shut your eyes and let silent tears spill down your cheeks. your hand, your legacy, your life… all gone.

—

a week passed after you returned home. the government was still forcing you to go through some regulations, but you didn’t mind since you and carlos were back in your home. he questioned your hand a few times but you told him that it was still healing after getting it caught in a fence while running through raccoon city. you didn’t have the heart still to tell him that you had gotten bit and were still living. you added to the lie saying after you went to the government hospital, they bandaged and sewed your hand back up. he believed you—of course, he believed you.

at the end of the week, in the middle of the night, you received a phone call. it was your house phone, not your phone. you knew who it was already. you got up from bed slowly and walked to the dresser by the window. it was an unknown number, but you still picked it up.

“hello?” you asked while walking out of the room. carlos was a heavy sleeper so he wouldn’t notice you gone for a few minutes. you walked out into the hall and into an empty room filled with boxes. you sat in the rocking chair by the window and looked out into the street. nobody was out there.

“you made it out, bitten and still alive,” the man on the other side of the phone exclaimed. “how?”

you leaned into the rocking chair and smiled. “don’t know, don’t care,” you said.

“has it spread?”

“a little. the blackness reached my wrist and my fingers are stiff.”

“and your other hand?”

“the wrist is broken but it should heal in a few weeks. nothing to worry about.”

“and the vaccine?”

“destroyed by nicholai.”

“good. we can fix that hand of yours too and take a sample for some experimenting.”

you shut your eyes and relaxed into the seat. the man on the other side muttered a few things and you could hear the tip-tapping of his keys. after a few seconds of silence he spoke up again. “we’re expecting you back at work soon,” he said.

“umbrella is gone. i cannot continue my work there anymore,” you said. “everything perished from that fucking bomb.”

“you won’t be working with them anymore, you’ll be working with me.”

“and what will i gain from working with you?”

“the power you never had from umbrella.”

you suddenly heard your bedroom door creaking open. you heard as carlos’ footsteps started coming towards the door. you panicked. “one second,” you said as carlos opened up the door a bit wider to the room you were in. you looked at him with a small smile on your lips. he looked exhausted.

“you’re up,” he said, leaning against the doorframe. “whose calling you so late?”

you brought the phone down to your lap and sighed. “one of the government workers,” you groaned. “they need our passports tomorrow.”

“couldn’t they have waited in the morning?” you rolled your eyes at him and laughed. he came up next to you and leaned down to kiss your forehead. you felt so bad. “i’ll be waiting in bed then.”

you nodded your head and watched as he left the room. you listened closely to the sound of his footsteps as they disappeared and you brought the phone back up to your ear. “so?” the man asked.

“alright,” you said, getting up from the chair. “next time don’t call my house phone in the middle of the night.”

he didn’t say anything and hung up the phone. you hated blonde men. you went through the phone and deleted the number from the call history just in case. you walked back into your bedroom and placed the phone on its stand. carlos had his eyes shut but you know he was still awake. you crawled back into bed and into his embrace, placing your head on his chest. he wrapped his arms around you tightly and pressed another kiss on the top of your head.

“hey, y/n,” he started, looking down at you. you hummed in response.

“why are you lying to me again?”

ch. 1 and 2

bonus chapter party people?

ALSO THANK YOU FOR READING MY SERIES AND KEEPING UP WITH THE BULLSHIT UPDATING SCHEDULE 😭 I LOVE YOU ALL !!!

#carlos x reader #carlos oliveira x reader #carlos oliveira #umbrella #re3 #resident evil 3 #re3r #resident evil 3 remake #female reader #poc reader #mixed reader #2nd pic #smut

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notesofnoone · 2 months ago

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Today has been kind of a rough one, my psyche said I should make this blog and start putting my thoughts and feelings in a blog or whatever... well see.

To start iv been struggling with someone I'm not sure if I can say "care" about anymore... i still want them to be safe and healthy, and would be devastated if anything bad happend to them. But... I feel like it would be better to explain the begging of our relationship first.

We had met online and started seeing each other on a rare basis before things started to move a bit farther and we started hanging out on a regular basis, after a while i basicly spent more time at there place than my own. One day I had got in an argument with a family member that caused me to end up moving out of the house with them.

I had options, not many but I had them. Either move with a different family member out of state or move 3 hours out of town to a different city with a childhood friend. He didn't like either of these options and basicly started begging me to just move in here with them. Now I didn't want to at first, it didn't feel like a smart option, we had only known each other for about a year and a half at that point so it's not like we knew each other super well just yet... I ended up letting them convince me.

Things weren't bad at first, the arrangement was nice. I took care of most the cleaning, cooking, and household repairs. In return I didn't have to pay rent, though I would throw money into the house in many other ways through repair work and what not... point is things where good and we where getting along great, even had alittle fun hear and there with each other. Then after about 6-7 months he accepted some foreign exchange students, before I didn't have a problem taking care of everything, but that was just 2 people. I didn't really have any say in them moving in and that's fine, it's not my house but I wasn't told "if I have other people move in you'll also be taking care of them."...

Soon, everything I said or any opinion I had was wrong, no matter what logic it was based on. Eventually, every time I looked at them, if we met eyes, they would give me a passive-aggressive "what do you want?" Eventually, I started slacking on house chores, feeling tired of being the only one cleaning up after four fully grown men. One day I decided to ask him if he can talk to the students and ask if they could maybe pitch in around the house but nothing ever changed. I asked another day if we could sit and my "friend" and I but it just got turned around. I got told the attitude, the distancing, feeling like no matter what I do or say I'll get told I'm wrong... was all delusion, that because I suffer from mental illness that nun of it could actually be happening... And I do suffer from mental illness, I spend alot of energy focusing on things say and how i say it. I have to spend alot of energy on what other people say to me and how they say it... or even just how they look at me... after that I stopped "putting out" the dirty looks got worse and they often will come downstairs at 10:00pm to chew me out about something not being dun, when again there are 3 other people in the house who can take out the bins once in a while. Soon I started sleeping on the couch down stairs because he had begun to shit talk friends of mine whenever i said I wanted to go hang out with them especially 1 friend in particular they had never met...

I guess it's important to know the nature of our relationship, it's not like we where dating ever. Iv only dated a couple times and I wasn't a fan, it's not like monogamy is a bad thing it's more like... I feel love for many people and I like to share it freely... I think they wanted more and kept it burried deep down instead of saying something...

Anyway, I'm getting tired and would like to go lay back down to sleep... I kind of woke up in a panic attack, downloaded this app, and started writing. I also don't know how to end this, so I'ma just leave it here. 😐

#personal

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makeste · 4 years ago

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BnHA Chapter 304: The Council of OFA

Previously on BnHA: Hawks and Best Jeanist were all, “what up Todofam, we are here to apply for the positions of ‘son #4’ and ‘weird uncle’, respectively,” and then proceeded to insert themselves into the family drama without waiting for an answer. Hawks briefed Endeavor on the nation’s current status of “totally fucked”, promised to help him sort that out, and then asked him about OFA. Endeavor was all, “oh do you mean One For All, the mysterious thing that my intern Deku was apparently being targeted for?” and then we cut away, presumably before Endeavor could clarify that it never occurred to him to follow up on that, and Hawks was all “no of course not, why would it occur to anyone other than me to follow up on any of this super weird and ominously important shit.” Anyway so meanwhile Bakugou was all “LET ME SCREAM AT DEKU UNTIL HE WAKES UP” and the other kids were all “NO”, and then the chapter ended with All Might being all “I wonder what the vestige!me is currently chatting with Deku about.”

Today on BnHA: Deku drops in on the Vestiges, who are all “sup Deku, how do you like our fancy chairs.” OFA II and III are all “if you need us we’ll just be standing here silently in the corner pretending to be invisible and sparking endless discourse with our mere existence.” OFA IV is all “and now I will explain to you in a very convoluted way that you being quirkless was actually a good thing, since it means that you are probably not going to suddenly drop dead at the age of twenty. But also you’re probably going to be the last user of OFA for that very same reason.” Deku is all “that is wild. I’m just gonna stand here and stare at my hand.” Nana is all “so now that that’s settled could you please do me a small favor and kill my grandson for me”, because having just one topic to discourse about this week WASN’T ENOUGH, apparently. Thanks so much Horikoshi.

(ETA: okay so just a note before I start, this week’s RHA translation was a huge mess, so I followed up this chapter by reading a couple of other translations. the main one I’m using for reference is the one by @hanashimas, whose weekly posts I highly recommend. anyway so you’ll see a couple of ETAs in this post in places where the initial translation was off.)

how many layers of bandages did they wrap this poor kid’s fucking hand in omg

jesus Deku. are you holding onto a bouquet of flowers under that thing?? or a tennis racket??

omg yes, finally

is he reading these names off a teleprompter lol. and if so, what has Jeanist ever done to slight you, Deku? “god bless Kacchan and Aizawa-sensei and Todoroki-kun and everyone else in the whole wide world... except for Best Jeanist. fuck that guy.” actually this joke would be funnier if half of tumblr didn’t legit feel that way lol but anyway

OH MY GOD

I NEED TO HAVE A TALK TOO. ABOUT, OH, EVERYTHING

I got immediate KHR vibes from ALL OF THIS. this is seriously such a Vongola aesthetic. “let’s use the luxuriously cushioned chairs with the seat backs that are ten feet high, and arrange all of the handsome ghost people in a big circle” like come on

that said there are also some slight LoTR vibes as well. “bring forth the ring, Deku”

I like how Six is sitting there with his feet drawn up all casual, but with his arms inexplicably sticking STRAIGHT OUT IN FRONT OF HIM and dangling over his knees like he’s doing some sort of zombie walk

apparently the Fourth wasn’t a big fan of shoes huh

interesting that All Might is the only one who’s still faint/indistinct, and and that Two and Three are fully visible

(ETA: the rest of my speculation about Two and Three has been moved into a separate post, the better to focus on the shit that’s actually happening in this chapter lol.)

and lastly, interesting that all of them are talking now, except for All Might (and I guess the Second and Third as well). to the best of my knowledge Deku hasn’t unlocked the Sixth’s quirk yet, so I guess the quirks don’t really have anything to do with it

oh and it looks like Deku’s mouth is still covered. I guess that’s convenient for the vestiges since we all know it’s hard to stop Deku once he gets going. but on the other hand it’s very inconvenient for people like me who wanted to see some interaction. alas

so First says that OFA’s power has grown a lot in the last four months (i.e. since Deku unlocked Blackwhip), and now the vestiges can communicate with each other as well as Deku

so even when Deku’s not around they can all just chill with each other. this is such a weird thing to me lol. like it’s cool, don’t get me wrong, but it’s also strange as hell to know that you’ve got eight other people hanging out in your head spying on everything you do and having conversations with each other about it. it would be like if Dark Shadow had someone to hang out with other than Tokoyami. good thing you weren’t triplets, Tokoyami

First says that it’s become easier for the vestiges to interact with Deku ever since TomurAFO barged into the OFA Domain back at Jakku. huh

(ETA: apparently this is because AFO forcibly pulled out OFA’s power when he was trying to steal the quirk, so I guess that makes sense.)

okay thank you Banjou for addressing this concern which I initially brought up as a joke, but which was apparently real enough for you to reassure Deku about

“don’t worry, even though we’re awake and hanging out inside of you at all times, we’re definitely not secretly watching and making fun of every single thing you do” hmmmmm

(ETA: “not that you could do anything about it even if we were, since you’re probably going to be the last OFA holder ever!” I don’t trust anything this asshole says lmao.)

OH SHIT??

YESSS DEKU now you can hold them accountable for all of their bullshit! because I do not doubt that there will be bullshit lol but let’s see how that goes

oh damn

well okay then. you didn’t have to stand up and walk over to him and loom all threateningly like that but okay sir

this guy has kind of a Kimimaro vibe to him. remember? that bone-growing guy from Naruto? except I’m pretty sure he had eyebrows. and wasn’t twenty feet tall. speaking of which, that explains the chairs

why are you wearing only 3/5ths of a shirt

lol what

someone’s gonna have to explain this to me. is he just redundant or something lol, or is he strangely poetical or what

(ETA: apparently HE’S MAKING A PUN omg. I immediately gained +10 love for him lol. also it flows a lot better in Japanese. this is one of the things Caleb is usually good at, so we’ll see what he does with the wordplay.)

omg the hermit theory is true!!

“I’M NOT WEIRD, IT’S SOCIETY WHICH IS WEIRD.” lol whatever you say buddy. also love how Banjou tried to give him a big hearty slap on the back but Hermit Boy was not having it lmao

IS HE TRYING TO CAPTURE HIM WITH BLACKWHIP

AND ACTUALLY, NO, SIR, AS A MATTER OF FACT, WE ARE NOT AWARE. SO SPILL!!

?!!?

okay my first response was LOL ARE YOU SERIOUS, THAT’S THE BIG SECRET!? -- and then it hit me what the significance of “died from old age... AT AGE FORTY” meant. at which point it was like “!!!!!” and then “OH, SHIT”

(ETA: there’s also an Iida joke here somewhere but I’m just too tired to make it.)

oh my god oh my god

did he somehow get a copy of the coroner’s report or something? like how does he even know that he died from “old age” as opposed to any number of other natural causes? ??

but anyway. so this is the quirk singularity coming into play then I guess. but then how come All Might is still alive and ticking?

(ETA: so this is one example of where this week’s translation is a mess lol. apparently the Fourth explains here that he didn’t know what the fuck he died from until All Might researched it. and it turns out there actually was an autopsy lol so there you go.)

so Fourth says he held OFA for eighteen years, and since he knew he would never be strong enough to defeat AFO on his own he basically just spent all his time punching rocks in the woods and training to power the quirk up

oh shit

is he implying that his body literally fell apart?? like that’s how he got the scars on his face? -- IS THAT WHAT KEEPS HAPPENING TO TOMURA, THEN. oh shit

DUDE

so you’re telling me that this quirk actively shortens the lifespan of anyone who uses it?? and my little boy here has had it now for a year already?? fuck me, I have immediately have a TON of thoughts about all this but let me save it until he’s done with his explanation

THANK YOU, DEKU

right?? how come All Might didn’t die then. even after he got injured. please don’t tell me he actually is dying still and is just being slow about it because I SWEAR TO GOD

what does this mean??

so what you’re trying to say is you all have NO FUCKING IDEA how long Deku’s gonna be able to hold this quirk before he SUDDENLY DROPS DEAD?! five generations ago this dude was able to hold it for eighteen years, and then four generations later All Might was able to hold it for thirty-odd years or so, and now Deku has it and you all have no clue which way it’s gonna go? actually this makes it sound like it really wasn’t OFA that killed the Fourth at all and you guys are just really bad at forming hypotheses. but since you’re making a big plot point out of it I guess it must be true

and don’t think I didn’t notice the part where you said you didn’t have OFA very long and then “died while fighting”, Firsto. I want to hear more about that. specifically who you passed the quirk onto before your death

and yes, if we are agreeing that OFA was the cause of the Fourth’s death, then the conclusion on this next page is the natural one to draw

so that’s a bit of a relief then, because Deku is quirkless too. so it means he won’t be able to hold OFA forever (and will probably have to find another quirkless person to pass it on to), but at least he won’t be randomly dying out of the blue next Tuesday or something

oh my god now he’s talking about OFA and AFO and user consciousnesses and all sorts of good theory stuff but it’s so much exposition. you’re really gonna make me read all this lol

wait what. why would All Might being quirkless have anything to do with the presence of his vestige in OFA Outer Space Party Land

but Deku is also quirkless and he’s clearly visible and chatting with you guys. so what gives. like how much of this is verified fact and how much of it is you guys just shrugging and making stuff up lol

SERIOUSLY, GUYS

BUT DEKU IS ALSO -- you know what, never mind sob. none of this shit makes any sense but whatever

(ETA: seriously, this all seems like an awful lot of speculation on their part. for Deku’s sake I sure hope they’re right.)

FSSKDJFLSKLKJLKJL ALL MIGHT IS FIFTY-FIVE?!

lol that’s a full ten years past my closest estimate, wow. but this pretty much confirms his age now at last! or at least confirms it within a couple of years, because we know All Might and Nana met when he was in middle school, and he presumably had the quirk by the time he took the U.A. entrance exam. so yeah. gonna go with fifty-five

so they think that because All Might was quirkless, OFA was better able to adapt to his body and became his true quirk, as opposed to being an extra quirk that stacked on top of the one he already had and overwhelmed him. ties in back to the whole “AFO used to bend people to his will by forcing quirks on them” thing, as well as the “Noumus are all mindless because of the strain of having multiple quirks”

Two and Three are really ruining the serious vibe of this scene here lol

they look like they’re doing the counting for hide and seek

and is this Deku talking now? I was about to get mad at First for implying that quirkless people are somehow freaks, as opposed to “normal” people jdslk

so in other words, don’t go giving it to your best friend all casually for shits and giggles, Deku. even if it would make a really cool climax for a movie. well shit. maybe that’s why they were so quick to nope back into Deku’s body afterward

so First says that because quirkless people are becoming rarer and rarer, the fact that All Might just happened to stumble upon Deku is “nothing short of a miracle.” which, yeah, that was definitely a stroke of luck there. being quirkless saved his life. but being quirkless is also part of why he was chosen in the first place, and we’ve always known that much

“in other words, kiddo...”

looks like there was some hurried clone stamp usage going on here lol. but props to RHA as always for putting this scan out so fast, especially given how exposition-heavy this week’s chapter has been

“anyways, that was the main topic” ARE YOU SERIOUS. there are like ten other topics imma need you all to get to here, people

(ETA: seems like this is a mistranslation; the line should actually read something more along the lines of “and now for the main topic.”)

FFFFFFFFF

“ENJOY YOUR CLIFFHANGER THIS WEEK.” dskfalkjlkjwlgkjl you really went and dumped this discourse on us yet again. fucking...

(ETA: forgot to mention, but as several people mentioned, this seems to be another mistranslation -- rather than asking Deku to kill Tomura as though it’s doing her a personal favor, Nana is asking “will you be able to do it.” in other words more of an “are you capable of doing it” type of thing. which is a very reasonable question to ask given that Deku is, well, Deku.)

anyways, and the answer is obviously going to be “no” of course. this isn’t going to end any differently than when the previous Avatars all told Aang to kill Ozai. but I guess it means we’re in for a fun conversation next week

so Nana looks pretty grim here though (nothing at all like the person who once taught All Might the importance of saving people with a smile), and I’m wondering if this means she believes that her grandson is already beyond saving. as in killing him would be a mercy, as opposed to him continuing to live with AFO bending his mind and body to his will. except if that is the case, I think she’s underestimating Tomura’s own will. and definitely underestimating Deku’s will to save

and also, just... I’m so fucking sick of AFO screwing the Shimura family over, honestly. this is exactly what he wanted. well fuck you, guy. you don’t get to have what you want. go out there and save Tomura, Deku. for his sake and for Nana’s. give them some hope. do your thing, boy. can’t wait for your big speech all about it next chapter lol

#bnha 304 #midoriya izuku #all might #ofa prime #ofa iv #idk what his name is I forgot it already lol #the actual forty-year-old man #bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #bnha manga spoilers #makeste reads bnha #ofa the first

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orbitalsockets · 3 years ago

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Ten Things I’ve Learned While Battling a Chronic Illness

1) Getting a diagnosis is fucking infuriating. The amount of doctors who have now seen my cervix makes me physically uncomfortable. I was very fortunate to figure out that I have severe endometriosis after fighting for six months - the average is 7-10 years. But Jesus Christ, getting to a point where you know what you need to fight feels like dragging your naked body through shards of glass.

2) Getting on a medication that works is even more infuriating. I have other chronic conditions and mental health issues that I take medication for, but I’ve never struggled more with finding one that won’t cancel out my other meds or turn me into a husk than in recent weeks. If the hunt for a medication makes you want to beat your head into a wall, you’re not alone.

3) Be prepared for a lot of crying. Like a lot, and not just from the chronic pain, but from the sheer psychic damage you take from this experience. Learning your version of normal is going to be changed again is exhausting. Having doctors look at you like you’re crazy or just want pain medication is exhausting. Having to reevaluate the way you live your life as a perfectionist with a dire need to control everything is EXHAUSTING. I am so tired all the time.

4) You will most likely have at least one breakdown in public. Yelling at medical professionals for treating you like a liar or gaslighting your symptoms, telling off colleagues who think it just ‘can’t be that bad’, crying into a sandwich on a park bench because your symptoms are making you have food aversion and you just wanted to get out of the house. It will eventually happen, so be prepared, and try not to be embarrassed.

5) Being in recovery for an eating disorder while fighting a chronic illness that makes you throw up is so fucking triggering sometimes I cannot even begin to explain. I get sick from drinking water and the little fuckin goblin ED voice is like ‘I wonder how much weight we’ve lost from the vomiting’ like bro read the room. If you start to panic and think you’re relapsing, you’re most likely not, the food aversion and nausea are very similar to ED experiences.

6) Marijuana is surprisingly helpful. Not even smoking - stuff like edibles or vape pens. It helps my pain, makes it so I can eat without throwing up, it lets me sleep without waking up from pain flare ups. Obviously I don’t condone anyone just running out and buying drugs from the local dude on the corner, but if you’re an adult and you’re terrified of opioids like me, it’s worth looking into.

7) If you have fears of addiction because of family history, fighting to get treatment and proper medication is going to be hell for you. I’ve been on or given like every well known pain pill or IV injection at one point or another in the last six months and I frequently was terrified that I was becoming - or was going to become - an addict. Try to keep in mind that using medications as prescribed by a doctor is not a bad thing, but also keep in mind that long term use of opioids can cause withdrawal symptoms for anyone.

8) Once you have a diagnosis, if you frequented your hospital during the time of not knowing what the issue was, be prepared for your visits to now fucking suck. I went yesterday because of a very severe pain flare and constant puking, and I told them repeatedly that I had an appointment today with my doctor but was told if I got bad before then to go to the hospital. I was talked poorly to by both a doctor and a nurse (both male, go figure) who told me that it was pointless to go to the hospital since I have a diagnosis and the pain meds wouldn’t last until the next day, etc to the point that I cried, yelled at the nurse for his lack of sensitivity to the situation, and left. There’s a chance you’ll have a better experience, but from others I’ve spoken to with chronic conditions, it seems that this is more or less the outcome. ESPECIALLY if your condition is a uterine or ovarian issue.

9) A LOT of people are going to tell you that they know exactly what you’re going through, and then they’re going to compare your condition to something that’s totally normal in life for 99% of people. Like, “I totally get how chronic pain can be, sometimes I have cramps when I’m on my period. Have you tried Tylenol Extra Strength?” You’re going to be expected to not be pissed about this because if you voice it then you look like you’re trying to do the Oppression Olympics shit. You’re probably going to be mad anyways. It’s okay, I am too.

10) You may start to feel like your chronic illness isn’t actually that bad because it’s not as bad as someone else’s. Try not to feed into that thought - You’re gaslighting yourself because our society has one very miniscule view of what it looks like to be chronically ill or disabled. You are valid, your symptoms are valid, your experiences are valid, and you are the LAST PERSON that should be gaslighting you about this because you’re the only proof that it’s happening.

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mcmactictac · 3 years ago

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Always Gold by Radical Face is a c! crime boys song please let me elaborate.

First of all, Welcome home son by radical face is a c! Tommy and c! Techno song. So as an sbi enthusiast I think it’s fun to give them songs by the same artist who have very similar vibes. Radical face has a wonderful job of calmly showing intense emotion. When you listen to the words in a lot of their songs it’s very emotional, but you can also tune out and just listen to the music. I’m working my way through their discography but they just radiate fanon sbi vibes. Same energy as a piece of fanart I saw a long time ago with Tommy sleeping on Wilburs lap as techno leans against them. Just that calm and relaxed sense of love and belonging.

Anyways analysis time woo let’s crank out some lyrics. Honestly the lyrics are so perfect throughout I’m basically going to include most of the song oops.

“We were tight knit boys, Brothers in more than name. You would kill for me And knew that I'd do the same”

Already off to a good start. I mean the tight knit part is obvious, like they’re both incredibly close with each other, especially at the beginning. Brothers in more than name?? Canonically Wilbur and Tommy aren’t siblings but they still SHARE that brotherly bond they still think of each other of family after everything. “You would kill for me and knew that I’d do the same” at the start? When they’re protecting their country together?? Yeah because they’re FAMILY they care about each other so much.

“And it cut me sharp, Hearing you'd gone away. But everything goes away, Yeah everything goes away”

Do I need to explain this one. I’m taking gone away as a reference to death here, like he’s up and left Tommy, and suddenly he’s just. Gone. Also the everything goes away is a great way to show the beginning of c! Tommys trauma, how he always feels like good things are going to be taken away from him. No matter what he has, his friends, his country, his discs, it’s all going to be gone eventually. Good things never seem to last for him.

“But I'm going to be here until I'm nothing but bones in the ground. And I was there, when you grew restless”

Wilbur talking about lmanberg as “here”. He knows he’s never going to leave it, the country he built. He lived there and that’s where he’ll die. The captain always goes down with his ship. The restless line reminds me of pogtopia, like Tommy watching as Wilbur started to lose it, started to grow more and more unstable. He was there for everything, the good and the bad even as he watched his brother descend into this downwards spiral and not being able to help him.

“Left in the dead of night. And I was there, when three months later. You were standing in the door all beat and tired and I stepped aside”

Now there’s two ways we could take this one. We could take a brief tour to sbi land and make this about Tommys exile, like he left exile at night after dream blew it all up, and he ended up at technos. And when Techno finally found him there it’s still that same kid he knew before who is just tired and needing someone, and so he lets him in. OR we could make this in reference to Wilburs revival. The three months later would be a reference to the time passed before Wilbur was revived. Now I could make this soft or I could make this angsty so I provide multiple options. 1. Tommy steps aside so Wilbur can see the sunrise, see the works that he’s missed and truly enjoy it again (not canon but shh) 2. I stepped aside but it’s Tommy moving away from Wilbur. Going no, you hurt me and I’m sorry that you’re suffering but I can’t be here for you anymore. 3. Or we got that nice metaphorical door of Tommys life and tommy seeing the brother he lost and choosing to let him “inside”, back into his life despite everything.

“We were opposites at birth I was steady as a hammer, No one worried cause they knew just where I'd be. And they said you were the crooked kind, And that you'd never have no worth But you were always gold to me”

Tommy is steady! Tommy wants the same things, he wants to protect his country, his friends and his discs. Everyone always knew what Tommy wanted and he was very open about what he cared about so everyone knew what was going on with him. Referring to Wilbur as the crooked one, the one who causes problems by creating a drug van, starting a war, blowing up his country. He had no worth because he thought so little of himself that he had to replace his personality with his actions. But tommy still sees him for who he is and up to Pogtopia that’s his big brother. That’s the man he would follow anywhere and trusts his whole world with. Wilbur was always special to tommy, even when he wasn’t to others.

“And back when we were kids, We swore we knew the future. And our words would take us half way 'round the world. But I never left this town and you never saw New York”

My main focus here is on the “but I never left this town” Wilbur always stayed in L’manberg, till the very end. He could never go anywhere else, and he didn’t. This also relates back to another song on my crimeboys list, two birds by Regina Spektor. Wilbur is never going to let go of L’manberg. It’s a part of who he is and he’s never going to be able to “leave” it. The you never saw New York line could be tommy because who knows Tommys plans before l’manberg. Then he got so wrapped up in this country he built that it became his everything, and he never got a chance to do anything else because of the effect it had on him. (I know this is stretching canon bear with me I like angst)

“And we ain't ever cross the sea. But I am fine with where I am now, This home is home, and all that I need. But for you, this place is shame. But you can blame me when there's no one left to blame. Oh I don't mind”

So many thoughts I don’t even know if I can make this coherent. For you this place is shame for Wilbur ESPECIALLY. It’s a reminder of the explosion he created, the hurt he caused the people who’s lives he ruined. He wants it to stand for all it was before, but he has to think about how it’s a source of hurt for so many people and how he sees that as his fault. I don’t think I can form coherent thoughts on the rest of this, enjoy

“All my life i’ve never known where you've been. There were holes in you, The kind that I could not mend. And I heard you say Right when you left that day, Does everything go away? Yeah, everything goes away. But I'm going to be here till forever, So just call when you're around.”

Final paragraph folks!! Ive never known where you’ve been! Tommy can never get a read on Wilbur and his emotions because he internalizes and hides them! He’s never going to be able to know and understand because Wilbur won’t let him! Holes in you the kind that I could not mend? YES. Wilbur is mentally ill and tommy cannot fix that, and he shouldn’t have to be the one responsible for helping Wilbur. Right when you left that day, the 16th, the day he left for the last time. Another reminder to tommy that everything leaves, nothing is guaranteed. L’manberg is gone and so is Wilbur. If we look at this pre revival, I’m gonna be here til forever could be Wilbur at L’manberg. He died there, and that’s where he’s always going to stay. He might be gone, and L’manberg might be gone but they’ll still always be there in spirit (get it spirit. Ghost. Ghostbur building L’manberg? Anyways...)

Mhm that was longer than I meant it to be I am working on multiple more dsmp playlists and I will share once I’m done and maybe do some more of these cause I find them fun. I also did not edit this at all so sorry if this is incoherent

#c! wilbur #Wilbur soot #dream smp Wilbur #dsmp Wilbur #dream smp #tommy and Wilbur #crimeboys #always gold #radical face #crimeboys songs #crimeboys music #Wilbur song #tommy song #c! crimeboys songs #lmanberg #l’manberg #lmanburg #fanon crimeboys

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disaster-fruit · 4 years ago

Note

could you tell us more about the brarg family au with the 3 babies and trans luci?

I definitely can! This au has been living rent free in my head since i started that drawing and I was actually sketching more stuff for the AU right before I got this ask so- I definitely can ramble more about it

This was supposed to be just a collection of a few hcs and now it’s a multi-pages word document the size of a fanfic so – Im really sorry.

I didn’t think a lot about their backstories tbh, though I have it in my mind that Luciano transition in his late teens and that he and martin either met after that or knew each other before luciano came out, lost all contact, and then met again after (and you can blame oxiosas fic for that yeah im not even subtle)

But I imagine them having some sort of meet cute and kinda progressing really fast in their relationship without realizing – yk, its just a fling, no big deal, yeah ive met his parents, yes I basically spend every weekend in his apartment, yeah I have a spare key now, ops I guess we’re adopting dogs and plants together- oh I think we’re married. Yeah. We’re married.

Ok but for real Luci does the proper proposal-with-a-ring-and-knelt-down-on-a-special-day thing and Martin is just bright red saying yes over and over again

It is Afonso (port) the first to be all WHERE ARE MY GRANDCHILDREN like… the night of their wedding.

They live in a house in a not too big city with two dogs, one cat, one parrot and all the birds that Luciano feeds and names that aren’t actually theirs. Still, they choose the house with two spare rooms because they always talked about having two kids.

In this AU they can buy a nice house and don’t have to worry about money and can raise kids like the world isn’t ending.

I think right after they got married they got in line for adoption. However, everything indicated that it would take a long long time so they started talking about the possibility of trying to have a biological kid. I think luci was the one to suggest it when he noticed martin had been thinking about it but not saying anything for a while.

Lots of boring doctor visits and confused doctors looking at luciano and trying to process it like the dumb cishets they are. Boring exams and all that, but everything is on track eventually, luci pauses his hrt and keeps his jockstrap on the drawer and they’re googling the best positions for fertility on those weird cishet sites and doing it like bunnies etc etc

Getting pregnant the natural way after years of testosterone is not the easiest thing in the world, so it takes a while. But eventually it works.

Both of them are kinda freaking out with this whole first pregnancy thing. Martin is the ultimate protective husband, and spends way too much time on the internet finding out what luciano can and can’t eat, what exercises he should do, and going to every single doctor visit. He’s very committed to it.

Luciano has to drink non-alcoholic beer and hates life. There’s a single teardrop shed every time he buys it. And drinks a lot of lemonade like it’s the same as caipirinha. Poor guy. Martin doesn’t help on that, life isn’t fair, he buys his own beer.

But he also has to drive absurd lengths to find the weirdest fruit or make the most hideous, blasphemous pizza toppings because Luciano is constantly craving absurd shit. But poor baby actually really NEEDS that chicken M&M pizza at 8am.

They’re super proud daddies though, and both their instagrams at this point are just baby belly pictures. Luci had top surgery on this au on my hc so also. Lots of shirtless pics. He looks like an old uncle with a beer belly and he’s PROUD. Just. Baby bellies all over.

Martin picks the entire baby layette. Because of course he does.

Their baby shower is a huge deal though. Their dads are there, Antonio brings an entire trunk filled with diapers and tells everyone how many tincho used to need when he was a baby, Afonso is cooking for everyone and talking about how he’s gonna be a grandfather (!!!). Iracema (pindorama) is scolding Luci about his bad habits while also quietly being a super proud grandma. Zola (angola) bought toys because she knows that’s what kids actually like, Samero (Mozão) keeps asking if they installed all the necessary security stuff in their house – we will, chill, we still have some months to go – Vera (Tomé) is teasing Simão (Timor) about him no longer being the family baby, Fatima (g.bissau) is another one who bought a huge amount of diapers, Rosinha (cabo verde) is taking pictures of everyone and everything, Sebas and Dani are discussing if the kid should speak Portuguese or Spanish, Maria brought a huge pink plushy as a gift, it’s quite a party.

Once they’re late in the pregnancy, Luciano mostly spends his time on Martin’s oversized t-shirts asking for foot rubs and not getting much sleep because the baby keeps moving. Martin on the other hand is a little nervous about being a dad, but absolutely loves feeling the little kicks and talking to the baby all the time, except when its 3am and he wants to sleep but Luci cant because of it so he just does his best to keep him company. He mostly ends up falling asleep on his chest though and doesn’t help much

I wrote all of this but I still don’t have a name for the girl lol Anyway, she’s finally born, and if martin was overprotective when Luciano was pregnant, he’s ten times more with his baby girl. Tbh theyre both kinda going crazy with this whole parenting thing, both are overprotective, tired, and have no idea what theyre doing.

Zola and Sebastian are the girl’s godparents. Sebastian isn’t very good with kids so when he takes care of his niece he either puts on a tv show and lets her eat whatever crap she wants, or relies on Daniel to do the actual taking care, since he is good with kids.

Luciano and Martin are very much neurotic first-timers and have all this schedule of what their girl can eat and when and when she has to sleep etc etc.

When Zola takes care of her, she just ignores it and does it her way. She helped raised Luci since he was a baby anyway, he survived just fine and even married and reproduced, she knows what to do better than both the dumbasses, and they never even find out.

Afonso on the other had follows everything when he’s with his granddaughter, determined to be a better grandfather than he was a father, and the baby loves him so he’s doing a good job.

They’re a very cute family yes yes

She grows up well and happy, a bit shy maybe but very smart and sweet, loves the dogs and her aunts and uncles and granddads (afonso more than antonio though)

By the way, Iracema is soft like butter with her granddaughter.

When she’s about four or five years old they start talking about having a second one, considering the age difference and all. So back to doctors, Luci stops the hrt again and they go back to trying, but again it’s not the easiest thing in the world to do it naturally after years of hrt.

But god listens to the prayers of such good catholic family, and right after they start thinking about a second child, they receive the news they will finally get to adopt a baby.

Luciano is the one to receive the news, he’s working at home when the social worker comes to tell him they can finally adopt. He’s extremely happy, he hugs the poor lady and is barely able to concentrate as she explains the paperwork that is left and the details of it because he can’t stop smiling.

He immediately texts martin saying something like “CALL ME RIGHT NOW WE NEED TO TALK” and it’s in happy caps but martin understands it wrong and thinks someone is dying or dead but then his phone is what dies so he gets home as fast as he can thinking all the worst scenarios just to find luciano jumping on him with a smile for ear to ear. It’s such a shock he takes a while to react but when he does you have two idiots so happy they can’t function.

It’s another girl, she has big brown eyes like her sister and it’s a few months old.

They quickly reassemble the crib and paint the second room to get everything ready in time to take her home, and the next week or so it’s nothing but all the family visiting to meet their new baby.

Since they managed to adopt, they decided to stop trying to have another kid. Luciano goes back to the doctor do some routine exams so that he can go back to testosterone and the doctor just awkwardly explains that, well, that won’t be exactly possible. Not for the next eight months, at least.

He’s quite shocked at that, and takes him a while to tell martin. They just got a new baby and do they even have space to raise three kids? Eventually it just escapes from him and martin is shocked as well, but ultimately both of them are just worried about their place being too small, and once they relax about that they can’t shut up about having another baby on the way to anyone.

Still, it’s not easy to manage, martin is just as worried as he was with their eldest, except that this time he’s simultaneously worried about their new baby and about Luci’s pregnancy. Poor dude needs a break asap. So he’s trying to do most of the work of caring for a little baby to spare luciano from the stress, while also taking care of him as well as he did the other time.

Luci is more chill about being pregnant, he’s done this before, he’s fine. He’s even a little too chill about it, as shown in the art, he still wants to carry their kid on his shoulder and having a few sips of martin’s beer is no big deal and honestly he’s fine, he can help with the baby, and Tincho just needs to relax and it will all be fine.

Again, poor tincho needs a break.

Some things don’t change though. Them being super proud daddies who do nothing but take pictures of their kids and Luci’s belly every chance they get. And they’re really happy and excited to have their house full and this big family.

Just a good cute family AU where nothing bad ever happens thank you very much. Yet it took me almost 2k words to say it. I have no self control and I’m very sorry. However, if anyone has their own hcs to add about this whole au, I will be more than happy to hear and talk about this AU even more than I’ve already done.

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scandeniall · 4 years ago

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Dear Diary

song 1: dear diary | good & bad masterlist | prev | next

Pairing: sakusa x reader

Summary/warnings: life has been kicking your ass yet you don’t want to tell sakusa/profanity

WC: 1.5K

“How’ve you been,” you paused debating on answering honestly or not. Switching your phone to speaker, you fiddled with the covers resting beneath your fingers before sighing out. “I miss you Yoomi.” A silence comes settled through the phone line. “How are you doing?” The insistence of your well being causes another sigh to escape your lips. Of course he could tell that something was off even through the phone and a part of you curses his observational skills. “Im just--really fucking stressed,” you mutter out reluctantly.

“Have you been taking care of yourself? Eating real meals and getting proper sleep?” The questions being rattled off on the other side of the phone causes you to crack a small smile at his concern. You could only imagine the furrow in his brows at the thought of a lack of concern for your own health. You almost miss the ending of the questions as he tells you not to lie to him. Your silence causes Sakusa to sigh on the line.

“Sometimes I hate how much you really know me.” You voice the thoughts that had previously been in your head. Sakusa could hear the slightest of background noise as you maneuver yourself under the warm comforter and shifted to get comfortable. “Do you need me to come home.” The words aren’t phrased as a question, and that causes you to quickly shake your head despite the fact that he couldn't see that.

“No-no. Yoomi, it's fine. I just- I just need to get my mind right and relax. I just needed to hear your voice tonight, that's all.” You tell him, despite wanting nothing more than for him to be back with you.He’d been on the road for the last month, a series of away games and such. And right before he left, you’d been out of town on a major business trip. It seemed as if time nor luck were your friend. It’d been at least a month and a half since the two of you were anywhere near one another. He’d still be gone another month and all either of you could do was wait it out.

The silence that followed your response was telling. You could already imagine the way Sakusa has his eyes narrowed in thought. Thinking about whether he should push for your well being or let it go for now. The quietest sigh escaped his mouth from the other side of the phone. He’d made his decision. “I miss you too. I’ll be home soon.”

Life after that phone call seemed to grow progressively worse. Not only had you and Sakusa not been able to squeeze in another talk in the following week, but life sucked. Your job has been giving you more and more responsibility, and allowing you more freedom. On one hand that was great, a celebratory text sent to your boyfriend at the talks of you in for a promotion, however it was tiring. You were coming home later and later, exhausted and starting to neglect your own health.

It’s not you were intentional in the neglect. It just felt too damn hard to come home after a long day and cook a healthy and fulfilling meal. When you were home you were suddenly reminded of just how empty the apartment was without Sakusa. Dust that was normally absent due to his cleanliness began to appear. Dishes piled up more than he would have liked. Whenever you did bother to straighten up at least for his sake, it drained you.

Adulthood was really kicking your ass and it came to a head one night when you woke up sweating. As if life couldn’t drag you down even more, your AC had gone out right during the hottest part of the summer. Come morning you found out that your landlord had gone on vacation and could not and would not be able to fix the unit for at least a week.

So you’d done what you usually did. Sucked it up and forced yourself to push through. Not a word of your woes to Sakusa who had more important matters to attend to other than your slump. You went to work, exhausted yourself there and dragged your feet into the dreaded heat of your apartment.

Upon entering you were automatically hit with a wave of heat, making your already sluggish steps heavier. Kicking your shoes off you offhandedly waved hello to the person seated on the couch before dragging yourself towards the kitchen like it was completely normal. A moment later you stopped in your tracks. “Yoomi?”

The slightest nod from your boyfriend caused you to blink in surprise before launching yourself into his arms. “What are you doing here,” you muttered as his hands ran up and down your back. Pulling away slightly you eyed him. He looked tired. Eyes unusually sunken and you noticed the tiniest sheen of sweat across his forehead. You went to pull away knowing the touch paired with the heat would likely make him uncomfortable. To your surprise, the hands wrapped around your middle didn’t make any moves to release you. “You needed me so I came home.”

You felt a squeeze in your heart as your arms tightened wrapped around his shoulders. “But I didn't say anything—“

“Your voice. On the other week. And then your texts were different.” Of course he noticed. The conversation had already signaled to him that you weren’t the best. Your shaky exhales as you insisted that you were fine and that he didn’t need to come home. Then he noticed the jokes within your texts began to slowly subside. You’d also found yourself saying that you missed him more than usual. “So you came back?”

“I have a 3 day weekend this week. Then I’m back to practicing.” You nodded in understanding the two of you releasing one another and you noticed Sakusa frown. “Why’s it hot?” You explained about the broken AC and about the suffering you’ve endured for the past 2 days. “Did you get any more fans?” He looked annoyed once you denied purchasing any additional appliances knowing he’d had to get that done for you. “You know you’re more susceptible to nosebleeds in the heat right?”

“Thank you Dr. Omi,” you teased, laughing at his scowl from the nickname. The two of you settled onto the couch, your head coming to rest on his shoulder. “It’s common knowledge.” His replies allow a lightness to settle in your heart. One you hadn’t felt in weeks. The two of you settle into a silence for a little while his hand rubbing soft circles on your knee. “You need to take better care of yourself. And tell me when you need me.”

“I didn't want to take you away from your busy schedule,” you hum out. You feel the movement against your knee stop, a former grip replacing it. “I don't care how busy I am, I’m here. Now stop being annoying and tell me things.” You feel yourself jokingly roll your eyes before agreeing. However that wasn’t enough as you heard the scoff from next to you.

“I’m serious. You remember what you told me back in college”

“Pretty sure I told you a lot of things back then,” you tease, taking his closest hand and interlocking your fingers. “You believed in me,” he started catching your eyes. “Told me you always knew there was no limit to me. That means I can handle it. Don’t feel like you’re annoying me.” Your eyes widened at how he remembered that very specific moment.

It was around 4 years ago. He’d just told you that he signed to MSBY, something everyone around him was dying to know. Yet you were the first person he told. He remembered how your eyes beamed as you sat on his lap, your phone camera in his face recording the moment for memories sake. He didn’t even bother swatting it away like he usually did. He’d allowed you to place messy kisses all across his face despite the feel of your tacky chapstick. “Why do you remember that,” you questioned a soft smile gracing your own features.

You notice the shrug of his shoulders as he helped to to sit you sideways into his lap. “Doesn’t matter. Now tell me what’s wrong. And then we’re going to get some fans.” You nodded leaning so that your lips met his for a soft kiss. “I really missed you,” you murmured into the kiss. And while he was only there for the weekend it was enough. He came home for you. The one who has loved and supported him with open arms for the past 5 years. He’d be damned if he didn’t try to make up for it.

So you told him everything on your mind. Laughing every time he scolded you for the little things. “Don’t let the dust build up by the time I get back next month.” To “You need to sleep more.” And in return you got the same. You got the story from the exhaustion laced in his eyes. The hours it took to get to you, and the germs he forced himself to sit through to make it happen. And despite the annoying heat in the apartment, neither of you have felt that good in a while.

a/n: wow i FINALLY got at least 2 consective songs in a row done so now my prev/next is relevant for at least 2 parts. This took a different route than I initially planned for, nor is it exact in its storytelling. It was also started 2 months ago and finished now bc it was kinda hard for me. Anyways hi um did you catch the no limit to you ref? bc yeah i love that and to date still my fav piece ive ever written. you dont have to read that to understand this but its 5.4k words if you have some spare time.

anyways: im about to be on an 8hr car ride so feel free to request stuff. rules

#haikyuu x reader #hq x reader #sakusa x reader #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu imagine #hq imagine #hq imagines #sakusa imagines

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kinetic-elaboration · 3 years ago

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July 17: 2x26 Assignment: Earth

Finally finished up S2 of TOS yesterday. That was... a rough episode tbh. I’m just gonna say it: back door pilots are bad! They’re bad. If I wanted to watch that other show, I’d watch it.

Wow, they’re just really jumping right in, huh? “Here we are, on a routine mission into the past, using a time travel method that we invented nbd.”

Investigating desperate problems in the year 2020...2016.... no wait 1968.

Ooh, Spock in the transport room today. Does he have a whole extra random station there? That’s so weird; I’ve never seen that before. It’s like hidden in the corner.

Cat!! Cat!!

What a good actor. I’m still bitter that wikipedia has a whole section about the casting for “Isis the cat” that talks entirely about the human who played Isis for 2 minutes and nothing about the talented feline actor. Where did they find her? How did they teach her to act?

She has a lot of thoughts about Kirk.

I wrote down “Scully, you’ve got to see this” in my notes and I’ve already forgotten what it refers to lol. Some moment that I thought would fit well with my favorite x-files meme.

Change history, you say? Spock is intrigued. ...Admittedly, Spock is often intrigued.

“What if it turns out you’re an invading alien from the future?” Honestly...let him invade. You’re not supposed to be here anyway.

I’m pretty insulted by this. The aliens went through all this trouble to help in 1968...where are our alien helpers NOW?

The cat straight up attacked his face.

Kirk is so fond of Spock being fond of the cat.

“It’s a lovely animal. I feel myself strangely drawn to it.”

Kirk is way too confused by Seven--an allegedly human person with super-human abilities that he says come from aliens--and yet, he’s met Charlie X so??? Is this not the same?

Kirk’s got the whole crew checking in on zoom.

(I actually do like this sequence of him getting video calls from different parts of the ship.)

“Weren’t orbiting H-bombs a huge problem in 1968?” Looks at the camera like he’s on The Office. Not the subtlest bit of writing in the “social commentary” genre. I do say this with love, though. I always enjoy when they comment on contemporary problems.

“He has a totally perfect body.” Lol don’t distract these two bisexuals.

[soft meowing]

“The prisoner has escaped.” The way this is shot, it looks like he’s talking about the cat.

Hmm, I do love the decor. Very 60s. This honestly immediately feels like a different show, and a much more dated show; even when the Enterprise time travels, it tends not to time travel to... office space.

Love the little sounds the computer makes.

So is Isis supposed to be one of the fancy aliens? It’s never explained but one must assume she is.

Aw, he’s petting her paw.

So I assumed the cats sounds are real, but just dubbed. They’re not lol. Which I guess isn’t surprising: this cat makes a lot of noises! They were provided by a human voice actress.

Damn.... I want a secret bookshelf that turns around to reveal a super computer with a big screen. “Computer... play Netflix.”

That’s what Seven does in his spare time.

The computer is an AI. “Beta 5 snobbery” lol.

Where are OUR alien overlords to stop US from destroying ourselves before WE can mature into a peaceful society?

This is really masterful exposition lol. Not forced or awkward at all.

ST sure does love the snooty female computer trope.

“Get us the proper costumes.” Yes, get Spock his Requisite Hat.

Omicron IV....that’s one of the names they use in Futurama lol. Such nerds.

Another excellent Spock Hat.

I love Seven’s various IDs. Great style. I wish my driver’s license looked like those.

“Who do you think you are?” He hasn’t decided yet. That’s why he was shifting through his IDs.

Seven is not smart lol. Like, he should have figured out way faster that this lady isn’t one of the Alien Overlords. He asks her the code question, she doesn’t understand it, and he... assumes she’s just really in character? Dude, that’s what the code questions are for!!! To help you identify people! Otherwise you could just straight up ask: are you an alien?

Instead he’s like “oh, you silly alien, you’re playing with me,” and then is forced to trap her, reveal his whole mission, and ultimately ensnare her in his plan.

I want that typewriter. Voice recognition typewriter.

"My incompetence has made you aware of very secret devices." Well at least he knows.

Trained cat!

The alien overlords were killed in a random car accident. That’s ironic.

Oh look, a real rocket!

Brown pants + short sleeved shirt + tie is such a Classic 60s look.

This security guard doesn’t think it’s weird that this random dude has a cat with him? Is this part of Isis’s alien power?

Except for the part where it’s a weapon, it’s pretty cool to see all this build up to, like... launching stuff into space. Exciting.

Isis likes to be on shoulders. Just like Little Guy.

New hat for Spock. His outer wear hat, and now his fancy hat. There is something to be said for this ep, and that is Kirk and Spock in suits.

Amazing how they literally launched rockets with computers that old. Like seeing the big bank of primitive computers is totally wild. We put people on the moon that way! Amazing.

“Meow.” Lol, Isis is stressed so she’s speaking like a cat. That’s a pretty funny joke actually.

Seven is so incompetent. If he’d just let the Enterprise help, Scotty could have fixed that rocket issue in like 3 seconds.

Lol everyone’s just pulling Gary through space. Now on the Enterprise. Now in the office.

Why does this computer have a hug black screen if it only displays images on the small white circle?

"Spock and I in custody. Main characters, doing nothing, knowing nothing, totally useless and irrelevant. I have never felt more helpless." Literally what is even the point of them today? Does Spock even have lines outside of “I like the cat”?

Isis is jealous of Roberta. Is she.. in a relationship with Seven lol?

Uhura is listening to everyone in the world. She probably has a universal translator on, but I do feel like this scene implies she just...understands all the languages.

So now the warhead is armed and heading to somewhere vague... in other words, everyone has collectively made the situation worse.

....Or this was Seven’s plan all along? To scare people into ceasing to be so careful with nuclear weaponry? As someone who knows humans better than this guy, I think this is a dumbass plan.

“That’s why so many people in my generation are kind of crazy and rebels.” Same, sweetheart.

Really this is just a story about bad communication. If Seven had told Kirk his plan upfront, Kirk would have helped him. And if Kirk weren’t so insistent on involving himself in something just because he happens to be somewhere he probably shouldn’t be, we wouldn’t have this issue either. The hubris of everyone.

Overall, just a really forced narrative imo.

Or that’s how it was supposed to be lol. The Irony of time travel. By it’s nature, everything has already worked out.

Kirk and Spock are like “You’re welcome. Peace out.”

Honestly... Isis was the only good part. Such a talented cat actor!! Or trio of cat actors, I guess. Had to do all those stunts and stuff.. .amazing. I also liked the concept of Isis. How she turned into a human later just to troll Roberta. How she’s never really explained--one must assume, an alien? Plus I pretty much never get tired of human + animal teams where the animal makes animal noises and the human just understands and answers in English.

As a stand alone sci fi concept...it was okay. Kinda dated by now. The alien tech was nifty and Roberta could have grown on me. Maybe even Seven, though he left a lot to be desire. That said, the narrative relied a lot on people getting in each other’s way for no reason, which I find very frustrating.

But as a Star Trek episode....no. The main characters were just nuisances on the side lines!! I’m not even sure what Kirk’s mission here was--to try to figure out what Seven was doing? And stop him if necessary? But he never really decided if it was or not, until the point where not trusting him would basically cause a nuclear war? I don’t know, I found it all very frustrating. The melding of the original show and the spinoff was not smooth.

If I were watching this in 1968, I’d feel very cheated. THIS was the season finale? That’s it? I don’t even get a real Star Trek episode and now I have to wait months for anything new?

And what I get after all that waiting is Spock’s Brain?? I’d be tempted to quit. If I had a tumblr in 1969 I’d be writing multi-paragraph rants about how the best show on television has completely nose-dived lol.

But then there’s The Enterprise Incident, which is one of the best episodes... I don’t know, man. It’s a conundrum. I’ve only seen maybe half of season 3 but from what I remember it’s very uneven: some of the best eps (The Enterprise Incident, For the World Is Hollow, Day of the Dove) mixed in with some of the worst (Spock’s Brain, The Paradise Syndrome), plus some that are good concepts but shoddily executed (The Way to Eden). So we’ll see what I think about it when I see it all in one piece, in air date order.

#the year 2021 #2021: fandom thoughts #2021: star trek #star trek tos

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nanasarea · 5 years ago

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Sucker I ii

Prompt: Y/N attends a school for the supernatural, specifically: werewolves, witches and vampires. The school might be magic, but so is love, right? Right?

Genre: angst, fluff, slight smut in the future

Pairing: reader x 00 line

Inspired heavily by: Legacies (and The Vampire Diaries&The Originals)

main m.list / sucker m.list / i ii iii iv v vi vii viii ix x xi xii xiii xiv xv

“I’m sorry we couldn’t do the testing yesterday. That little dolphin will really be the death of me one day.” Renjun explained, as he sat down next to you at the dinning table.

“Did you sleep well?” Hana asked.

“Not really. I had this weird nightmare.” You answered.

“What about?” Renjun asked before taking a bit of his breakfast.

“More like, who.” You corrected.

You’ve been having these weird dreams about a man in a black attire, his clothes looking both modern and old-fashioned, in a weird way. He had a hood covering his face, but you could still see his evil smile. It was like he was hunting you down, but not to kill you. How did you know? You didn’t. You just felt like it.

You first saw him in your dream when you were 7, and he was pretty much in the background of your dreams, till you turned 12, which was when he started taking over half of your dream. Each time you had a dream, his part was longer, more clear, more frequent.

You’ve been them more frequently since you started high school back at your old school. It’s like he appeared in your dream 5 out of the 7 days of the week. He became clearer, but his face was never once seen. Just his smile, his evil smile.

Renjun gave you a confused look, so you explained it briefly to him as Hana silently ate your breakfast across from you.

“That seems horrifying.” He said, looking at the blank space next to Hana.

“It is.” I confirmed.

“Is there no way to do some of that magic you do to find out who it is or anything?” Hana asked Renjun, and as if on cue, Haechan sat down next to her.

“Oh, poor vampires, you have no idea how magic works.” He answered on behalf of Renjun.

“It would be possible!” Renjun defended.

“Yeah, with dark magic.” Haechan added.

“Oh.” Hana said, sounding defeated.

“Besides, whatever is causing the dreams, probably originates from black magic, so either way, you’d be playing fire with fire.” Haechan explained.

“My favorite way to fight.” He added, winking in your direction, making your cheeks heat up.

“How did you even hear all of that from over there?” I asked, motioning to his previous seat.

“I may or may not have been testing a eavesdropping spell.” He admitted, avoiding my gaze.

“You were eavesdropping on us?” Hana asked, offended.

“Isn’t that what I just said?” He asked, mimicking her tone before taking his last bite of his breakfast and walking away.

“Why is he so annoying?” You asked, looking at Renjun.

“He’s a Gemini, it’s in his blood.” He answered, earning a kick from under the desk from his senior.

“I’m a Gemini too!” The guy with blonde hair yelled at his younger.

“I am very aware, Taeil.” Renjun explained, earning another kick, before laughing and yelling a “I’m kidding” after him.

“That’s one of the professors by the way.” Renjun explained.

“But don’t ever call him Mr. Moon, Professor Moon or anything like that, it makes him feel old.” He added.

“He looks young.” Hana commented.

“Most of the professors do.” Renjun explained.

“As like 1/3 of them are vampires, you know.” He added, making both me and Hana let out “oh, that makes sense.”

“Come on, History of Witches is starting in 5 minutes and Professor Lee is very chill, but he hates it when you’re late to his class.” Renjun explained, causing all of us to clean up or breakfast quickly and running to the classroom.

After your first day, you still felt like you didn’t belong. Jisoo, your new roommate, assured that it’s normal, since you haven’t been tested yet, and considering it’s your first day, you shouldn’t worry too much about it.

Maybe you weren’t magic though, maybe the vampires got the smell wrong, you tried to make excuses but before you knew it, Renjun called you to join game night.

As you got to the lounge, you saw the “core 8″ as Jaemin informed you. The Core 8 consisted of Jaemin himself, Chenle, Jisung, Renjun, Haechan, Minsoo, Jisoo and Mark, who you met at dinner last night.

“Core 8, turning into Core 10 today.” Jaemin said, watching as you and Hana joined.

He patted the seat next to him, motioning that you should sit next to him. You obviously did, I mean the smile he gave you looked like one of the most ethereal things you’ve ever seen.

“Should we do pairs for game night?” Minsoo asked.

“Sure, I call dibs on y/n.” Jaemin said, wrapping his arm around you.

“Y/N, word of advice, Jaemin is fun at charades, but he’s not good, so if I was you, I’d decline.” Jisung said, causing the other members to go feral, except for Jaemin, who just rolled his eyes.

“I suggest a random pair spell.” Jisoo suggested. “Good idea.” Hana agreed, smiling warmly at her.

After Minsoo did the spell, words started forming on the piece of paper. Just your luck, you got paired with Haechan.

“Do I have to be paired with the newbie?” Haechan whined.

“Hyuck! Be nice!” Jisoo said, making him roll his eyes.

“Fine, but I’m not gonna like it.” His reply was rather dry.

“I bet the opposite.” Minsoo mumbled, just loud enough for Chenle, who was his assigned parted, to look at him with wide eyes, but before he could comment, the game began.

You must admit, Haechan, despite being a pain in the ass, was pretty good at the game. So good, you ended up winning, much to your surprise.

“For two people who hate each other, you work really well together.” Jisung commented at your win.

“Yeah right.” You and Haechan said in unison, before looking at each other

“Don’t do that.”

“Stop that.”

“Shut up!”.

Your unison bickering caused the others to start laughing, which for some reason, felt nice, for both you and Haechan. Not that you or him would ever admit it to each other.

“Ah, Mark, it seems like you’ve been replaced!” Jisoo said, breathless from the laughing.

“Finally!” Mark sighed, causing even more laughing.

“Ya! I am the best you ever had!” Haechan whined at Mark, who only laughed in his face.

“That’s enough for one night, don’t you think?” Renjun asked, everyone agreed and went back to their rooms, but before they did, Haechan stopped you, turning you around to face him.

“You’re pretty good at charades, you know.” He said.

“I’m sorry, is the grumpy real-life Slytherin complimenting me?” You asked, putting a hand on your chest in a dramatic fashion.

“Shut up, muggle.” He joked, rolling his eyes.

“Hey, how do you know I’m a muggle?” You asked, mimicking his joking tone.

“Well, are your parents witches?” He asked, continuing using the tone.

“I wouldn’t know, actually. They died when I was 2 months old, I’ve been living with their best friends’ ever since.” You admitted, your tone changing completely.

“Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t know.” He said, his tone changing just like yours.

“It’s fine, It’s not like I had time to get attached or anything.” You said, looking down at your feet.

“Why don’t you go get some sleep? You’re probably tired.” He suggested.

“Good idea.” You said, both of you making your way to your rooms.

“Oh, and you’re pretty good at charades yourself.” You said, right as you were going to make a turn, causing to lose sight of him.

“Thanks, hope you don’t dream of your mystery shadow man again!” He said before quickly running to his room.

Was that a blushing Haechan? Who just told you he HOPES you don’t have nightmares? No one would ever believe you, you wouldn’t even believe me, if it wasn’t for you actually being there.

Maybe he wasn’t as stone-cold as you thought.

A/N: ok so here’s part 2! I tried really hard to make it obvious how much of a love-hate relationship the reader and Haechan have, as you can tell. Please tell me what you think about the series so far! The reader still hasn’t been confirmed to be any of the 3 supernatural beings, so tell me what you think the reader is! Oh and also, don’t worry, Jeno will be in the next chapter, I promise!

Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed it! :)

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fatrainbowmermaidunicorn · 5 years ago

Text

The Other Girl (Jungkook X You) (ONESHOT)

A/N: Its a bit short but I hope you will like it <3

MASTERLIST

A/N : And also, I’m trying a new thing here and you are in no way obligated to do it but if any of you like my stories and want to give some support, why not buy me a coffee? ☕💜

Jungkook and Rissa.

They are the ultimate couple that everyone want to be. That everyone envy. They are the definition of perfect, romantic, lovable. Everything you want to be as a couple. And everyone always thinks, no, know, that they will end up together forever. There is no way one of them would love someone else, theres no way one of them would leave the other for anyone else.

Y/N smiles and looks into Jungkook's eyes who staring back at her. And she is sure as hell that no one could have ever thought she would be the one who would steal's Jungkook's heart from Rissa.

Thats right, shes the other girl.

Jungkook has always been her dream guy. She has had her eyes on his the moment he step on stage on his debut day. But Y/N is just a trainee, and as Jungkook and his group grew more popular, she knows her chances with him are slim to none. Y/N's heart broke to pieces when she found out that Jungkook also has a long time childhood girlfriend whom he loves so much. Everybody favorite's couple.

Rissa.

It doesnt help that Rissa is the definition of a perfect girl. Beautiful, soft spoken, intelligent, funny, kindhearted. Everything a girl wants to be. And every guy wants to be with. Everybody tells Jungkook thats hes lucky to be with her. That he should hold on to her forever.

They are the perfect couple in everyones eyes.

But all that never once stop Y/N from continuing to crush on him, falling in love with him. Once she debuted herself, Y/N slowly make her way to be friends with Jungkook's hyungs, his friends and slowly, very slowly, make his way into Jungkook's heart.

And now, here she is. In Jungkook's embrace, lips locked with each othet like theres no tomorrow. They have been seeing each other in secret for almost six months now, and it was the most wonderful time for Y/N. The best moments of her life.

"I love you Kookie," she giggles and hugs his neck.

"And you know I love you too baby," he smile and leans in to kiss her. A long, deep, passionate kiss. "I have to go," he pouts. "But I promise I will call you before you go to bed?"

Y/N pouts playfully.

"Do you really have to go home to her, Kookie?"

"You know I dont want to baby, but you know I have to. For now. Okay?" Jungkook smile and stroke her hair. "I love you Y/N,"

"I love you too, so much Kookie. We are going to be together for real, soon right? You promise right? That you will choose me?"

"You know I do baby. Just give me some time yeah?" Jungkook smile and kiss her one last time before leaving.

Y/N pouts alone. Thats the promise Jungkook keeps on giving her ever since they got together. That he will leave Rissa. That they will be an official couple. That he never loves Rissa. That he loves her so much more.

All those promises, they are nice to hear, but deep down, Y/N knows that Rissa will always be Jeon Jungkook's first love and he will always, always love her.

/////

"Hey bunny, you are back. Hows practice?" Rissa smiles and gives him a quick kiss.

"It was okay. Just the usual. Hyungs bickering, Jin hyung fell and all thay," he laughs. "How about you? How was your day princess?" Jungkook smile and kiss her back.

"Same old, same old. Nothing interesting like yours, Im sure," she giggles. "I cooked your favorite for dinner today bunny. Why dont you shower, since you are all sweaty and smelly, and we can have dinner together?"

"Yah, you like it when I'm sweaty," Jungkook grins and winks, making her blush. "But yeah, I'll take a quick shower and I'll be down in a bit okay princess?" Jungkook smile, gives her another kiss and head to the bathroom.

As her usual routine, Rissa went over to where Jungkook throws his clothes and collect his dirty laundry for washing. And just like every single day since the last few months, theres the same perfume smell lingering all over his clothes. A women's perfume. The same one. And of course, stain of lipstick in random places on his clothes. She doesnt want to believe it. Its so unreal that Jungkook would do that to her. But it has been months. Theres no denying it anymore.

Rissa sighs.

Jungkook is still cheating. And she dont know how long her heart can pretend otherwise

/////

"How is the food bunny?" Rissa smile, looking at the man sitting from across of him.

"Delicious as always princess," he smiles and to show he meant it, shoved a large amount of food inside his mouth, making his cheeks blows up like a chipmunk. Rissa giggles. Shes going to miss this mam so so much.

"Im glad you love it bunny. You deserve the best after a tiring day at work,"

"I dont know what I do to deserve you princess. Im the luckiest guy in the world," Jungkook smile and hold her hand from across the table. Rissa stop chewing. Something in what Jungkoom said hit a cord, and it just hurts. So much.

"Jungkook?" Rissa looks up at him.

"Yes?" Jungkook frowns. Its unusual for her to call him by his real name. "Is everything okay?" Jungkook is confused. They were happy just a second ago. What could have happened?

"You know I love you very much right?" Rissa asked, eyes softly looking into his.

"Of course I do know princess. Whats wrong? Anything bothering you? Want to tell me?" Jungkook stops eating and frowns heavily.

"And you. You love me right Jungkook? Just as much as I love you?"

"Rissa, princess. You already know the answer. Of course I love you. You are my life. Now, can you tell me whats going on?"

"Nothing really," she smile and looks down at her plate, slowly playing with her food. "I just want you to know, that it has always been you for me Jungkook. No one else. And Ive never wanted or look at anyone else either. You are my dream come true, and I'm sorry..." she sniffles.

"Sorry? What for? Hey, why are you crying princess?" Jungkook stands up and walks to her side, squating down to her level, startled by her sudden tears.

"Im sorry if I bore you. If my love for you isnt enough. If I am not what you wanted. What you still wanted. Ive tried my best to love you. Im just sorry Im just simply not... enough," she sniffles harder, looking down at her lap.

"Hey, what are you even talking about? Not enough? Where did all this even came from?" Jungkook smile and lifted her chin to look at him. "I love you. Only you. Forever and always right? You are ny everything. You are everything I wanted and everything I could ever dream of. Theres nothing to worry about. I promise. Okay?"

Rissa nodded weakly, knowing everything he said is nothing but empty promises.

They make love that night. Love so passionate, that one could never thought that theres a third person between their love. But there is. And even after a passionate night together, Rissa will never forget the fact.

/////

It has been a few months since that night. And the same thing still happens every single day. Late night texts, whispered calls when Jungkook thought she was sleeping, perfumes and lipstick stain on his clothes... its even worse now because Rissa now knows whos Jungkook is actually cheating with.

Enough is enough. Enough time and chances has been given. Its time. Its time to finally do something about it.

/////

She looks at her. Her beautiful face, with a tired smile plastered on, but still beautiful nevertheless. Y/N can tell right now why Jungkook loves her. She never gets mad, she never raises her voice at him, whenever hes tired, mad or upset, whenever he yells at her for no reason at all, she will say she understand. Her love for Jungkook is unconditional, and Y/N is the reason why Jungkook is hurting her.

"Rissa," was all she could choked out as she looks into her eyes.

"Hello Y/N," she smiles. "Its nice to finally meet you in person. Come, have a seat,"

Y/N feels her throat dries up nervously. Not really sure know what Rissa meant by that. What she being sarcastic? Sincere? What is it? Why did she ask to meet her? Does Jungkook knows about this?

"I- uh yeah, its nice to finally meet you in person too. I-I have heard so much about you," Y/N smiles nervously.

"I'm sure," she laughs. A beautiful sound. How can she still smile brightly at her? Knowing that she has been with her man for so long? Y/N is sure Rissa knows.

"I-uh.."

"Im kidding!" She laughs. "Dont worry Y/N, you dont have to be nervous. I dont bite," she laughs again. "Lets just talk is girls. Yeah? I think we have so mich to talk about, dont you?"

Y/N nods again, nervously.

"Listen Rissa. Jungkook and I..." Y/N stops her words, not knowing herself what she should be saying. Apologize? Beg her to give Jungkook to her? Ask her to share? Explain to Rissa her feelings towards Jungkook? She has no idea. No idea at all what to do or say.

But lucky for her, she doesnt have to think further as Rissa cut her off.

"Im leaving Jungkook,"

Y/N looks at her, mouth slightly gapped open. Out of all the 1001 scenarios in her head, she never expected this to come out from Rissa's mouth. Y/N had imagined Rissa would yell, scream, hit her, slap her, laugh at her, throw a tantrum, everything anf any possible reaction, but not this. Never this.

"What? Rissa you-"

"Im leaving him, and thats my decision," she smile and take a sip of her tea. "Dont get me wrong Y/N. Iys not that I hate him, or stop loving him. I love him. I love Jungkook so much. More than anyone can ever imagined," she smiles softly. "We have been together since we were teenagers. We grew up together, and I always thought me and him are destined to be together till the end of times,"

Y/N clear her throat awkwardly. She wish the earth would just swallow her right now. The pain and hurt in Rissa's voice pierced right through her heart. She has caused another woman pain. When did she become this? What has she done?

"But I cant make something that doesnt work anymore, work... I tried. Oh god, believe me, I tried," she smile again, but a sad one. "You know... I have known about you two for the longest time,"

"Y-you did?"

Rissa laughs, a beautiful one.

"Of course silly. I think everyone knows," she smile again. "You two are always together. And when you two are together, you guys dont really keep it subtle. And it doesnt help how nervous his hyungs were went I asked them where Jungkook went when I surprise him at practice," she giggles but Y/N knows Rissa's heart is breaking. Memories with Jungkook flashes through her mind. The kisses, quickies, secret dates between shows, practices, asking his hyung to lie for them eventhough they know they didnt approve. All those days that they thought were subtle enough and kept a secret.... every little thing they did, her happiness, all at the expense of this beautiful girl's broken heart. What has she done?

"But I thought, maybe Jungkook just need a distraction. We have been together for so long, and in his line of work, he meets pretty girls like you every single day. Hes a man afterall. So I thought, maybe after he gets it out of his system, he will come back to me. That our love was still intact,"

"Y-you knew... and you are willing to let him cheat?"

"I love him Y/N. Ive never love anyone. Hes my everything, my first and I thought, if being with someone else makes him happy, makes him come back to me eventually, Im willing to," she sighs. "But I was wrong. I dont think his love for me is the same as before,"

"Thats not true Rissa! Jungkook loves you! I know he does!" Y/N raises her voice. She dont know why shes trying to protect Jungkook's and Rissa's love when Jungkook has been everything she wanted. With Rissa gone, she shpild be happy. Jungkook is all hers. But something doesnt seems right. Their love is too beautiful to destroy.

Rissa smile softly and stroke Y/N's hand across the table.

"I know you want to believe that Y/N. Maybe so that you wont feel so bad. But truly, its okay. Havent you heard the saying, if you love two people at the same time, choose the second one. Because if you really loved the first one, you wouldn't have fallen for the second one? You are the second one Y/N,"

"B-but Rissa. Jungkook-"

"Stop," she raised her hand and shakes her head. "Stop trying to change my mind because I wont. Y/N, I think I owe it to myself to leave. I have done everything to love Jungkook and I dont think its fair for me to share his love when I have given my everything to him," tears finally falls down her soft cheeks. "I finally found the courage to leave, to let go of this fairytale that I wanted so much to come true and finally give myself something I deserve. Someone I deserve. I believe that I deserve someone who will love me for all that I am, and who will give everything he has for me, just like I will do for him. And thats no longer Jungkook," Rissa slowly wiped down her tears and takes a deep breathe.

"So, do me a favour yeah? Love him, take care of him and show him the same kind of love that I have been giving him all these years," she flashed a small smile as she took of the ring from her finger and placed it on Y/N's open palm. "This... Jungkook gave me this when we first met. Its a promise ring he said. We fell in love at first sight," she laughs. "Stupid, I know. But we were young and he promised me, that one day, when hes finally made it when he found everything hes chasing all this while, he will marry me, he will propose with a proper ring," she laughs. "Jungkook is always so dramatic, dont you think?"

Y/N looks at the ring and without realizing, tears has streamed down her face too. Jungkook truly loves her. And Rissa, shes willing to let go so that hes happy. Thats how strong their love are. And here she is, a monster! A home wrecker! What has she done? What has she done?!

"Hes all yours now Y/N. And thankyou for making me realize my worth," she smile one last time and stands up. Without looking back, Rissa walks out, leaving her painful love story for a better future without Jeon Jungkook in it.

/////

"Jungkook?" Y/N walked into their messy apartment after walking aimlessly for a few hours, thinking about her earlier meeting with Rissa. Furnitures are upside down everywhere, vases are broken, books are strewn across the floors. Y/N quickly try to look for Jungkook, hoping hes alright, not sure whats happening.

"Kookie??" She ran to their bedroom and found Jungkook in the dark, at the far corner hugging his knees. Y/N immediately went over and sits besides him, hugging his shoulder. "Kookie? Are you okay? What happened? Did we get rob? What happened? Tell me? Are yoi okay?"

"S-she left. She left me. She left...."

Y/N feels her heart beats faster. Okay, Jungkook has found out then. Rissa must have moved out from their apartment.

"Kookie, baby....I-I know,"

Jungkook looks up with his tear strained face.

"Y-you knew?"

"I-" Y/N paused for a moment. Not knowing if she should proceed. "R-Rissa... she asked to meet me earlier today..."

"She what?" Jungkook immediately perked up and turns to look at Y/N. A part of her feels hurt that Jungkook cares so much about Rissa, that he showed it, especially in front of her. Didnt he say that he loves her? That he wants a future with her? That he will leave Rissa for her? Then what is all this? Shouldnt he be happy instead? Y/N shakes the thoughts away. This is not the time to think about herself. Right?

"She asked to meet me Kookie... and I didnt know what its for until we met," Y/N looks into his eyes whos looking at her, confused. "Rissa... she uh.. she gave me this," she slowly and reluctantly gave Jungkook the ring. Jungkook just stare at it, as if its some poisonous snake that he shouldnt touch.

"Kookie?" Y/N whispered slowly. "Y-you okay?"

He jolted from her the sound of her voice, like someone shocked him and grab the ring, surprising Y/N, and threw the tiny ring across the room.

"She thinks she can just leave me like that?! No fucking way! We promised forever! She promised she will be with me until forever!" Jungkook suddenly screamed. Y/N was taken aback, both by his sudden outburst and whats hes saying. Doesnt Jungkook remember who is with him right now? Doesnt he remember that he promised her forever? That hes supposed to love her, to be with her?

"Kookie p-please calm down," Y/N pulled him tight into her embrace, trying to calm him, immediately making Jungkook burst into tears. "Im sorry Kookie. Im sorry, Im really, really sorry,"

Im really sorry I fell in love with you.

/////

Y/N knows. Oh she knows Jungkook is only staying in the relationship with her, being with her all because of guilt. Just to prove that he made the right decision, that he didnt regret what he did, that he didnt regret he cheated, that hes happy with her. Because, if he didnt... if hes not happy... then he just threw away Rissa, his love, the greatest thing that could have happened in his life, for... her.

The other girl.

Y/N knows, everytime Jungkook thinks she wasnt looking, she saw him staring blanklessly out the window. And Y/N knows hes thinking about her. Her smile, her laugh, if shes thinking of him too. But Y/N also know, that she isnt. Y/N knows that Rissa have moved on. That she would probably have found another man that would love her woth all his heart, make her happpy. The kind of man she deserves. A man that would appreciate her. Why would she think about a man so stupid, a mam who broke her heart like its nothing, so idiotic, a man who would threw out a girl like herself, for a girl like her...

The other girl.

After Jungkook calmed down that day, he asked Y/N to tell hin everything that Rissa told her. Because Rissa left without saying goodbye, without saying anything. Jungkook came back from practice to find all Rissa's things gone. Her stuffed animals, their photos together, her shoes, her books in the side table. Everything. All traces of her... gone.

And thats when Y/N knew how much Rissa was hurting from what she did. Maybe she didnt show it, she didnt say it, but it shows. Y/N also finally knew how much Rissa loves Jungkook. Because she cant even bare to see him one last time. She cant even say goodbye to him. Because she knows she will give in. She will give him another chance and he will break her all over again.

And Y/N finally knew how she has ruined a love so great.

And as years goes by, yes, Y/N and Jungkook are together, exchanging little smile here and there, a dull how are you at the end of the day instead of laughter and love. But Y/N knows, from the dying glint in his eyes whenever he looks at her that whatever they have is not love, never love. She stole away his love story, his one true love, hoping that she can be a greater one, a better one. But she was wrong. Dead wrong.

But is she the only one to blame? Jungkook fell in love too, didnt he? He betrayed their love too? Didnt he? Both hers and Rissa. So she guess they are both to blame. The dark storm in a beautifil love by a beautiful girl.

And for hurting her.

For making her cry.

For breaking her heart.

For making her loose the love of her life...

This is what Y/N deserve. To forever be with the man she loves, the man she long for everyday, the man she wants to love her back as much as she loves him, but he never will.... the man who will forever see her as.. the other girl.

#bts #bangtan #bangtan scenarios #bangtan boys #bangtan seonyeondan #bangtan fanfic #jungkook #BTS jungkook #bts jeon jungkook #jeon jungkook #jungkook scenario #jungkook angst #jungkook fanfic #kpop #l k #kpop fanfic #kpop scenario

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applepiewinchesters · 5 years ago

Text

Straight Shot (Malcolm Bright x Reader)

REQUESTS ARE OPEN

When Malcolm didn’t come home that night you’d just figured he was working late, it was Halloween and Gil had called you about the case they were on, warning you Malcolm might be out late.

So, you went to bed thinking he’d be there when you woke, but that wasn’t the case.

It was about 3:30 in the morning when the ringing of your phone startled you awake. You’d only been asleep a few hours, and when you saw Gil’s name flash across your screen, a feeling of dread settled in your stomach.

Quickly grabbing the phone from the nightstand, you answered the call, “Gil? What’s wrong?” you asked, concern obvious in your tone.

“Y/N, it’s uh…it’s Malcolm, he got shot, he was in a junkyard in the Bronx, we’re on the way to the hospital right now,” Gil told you.

You were already out of bed now, pulling your jeans back on and grabbing a hoodie from the closet.

“Which hospital?” you asked, grabbing your purse and shoes.

It only took a short taxi ride before you were at the hospital, you gave the driver a little more money to step on it, this was literally life or death.

Hurrying into the emergency room, you found Gil sitting in a chair, he looked exhausted. More than likely because of Malcolm’s obvious lack of self-preservation.

“Gil!” you called, quickly hurrying over to him.

The older man stood from the chair, holding his arms out, immediately engulfing you in a hug. You returned the hug, holding back the tears already threatening to spill over.

Maybe it wasn’t even that bad and you were already freaking out, Gil didn’t say where Malcolm was shot.

“I-Is he okay?” you asked, pulling away from Gil.

Gil gave you a weary smile, “He lost a lot of blood, he’s in emergency surgery right now,” he explained.

You bit your lip, sitting down in the closest chair, you felt like you were going to pass out any second.

Gil sat down beside you, taking your hand in his, “He’s Malcolm, he’ll get through it,” he tried reassuring you.

“He better, or I’ll kill him,” you said, making Gil chuckle.

You both sat in those chairs for at least another two hours before a doctor finally came out, “Malcolm Bright,” he called to the nearly empty room.

Both you and Gil quickly stood up, “Is he alright? Did he pull through?” you asked hastily.

The doctor held up his hands, “He lost a lot of blood as I’m sure you know, we managed to remove the bullet and patch him up, he’s asleep but in recovery now if you’d like to see him.”

You nodded quickly, looking back to Gil, “I’ll make a few calls and then I’ll be there,” he told you.

“I’ll text you the room number,” you said before following the doctor to Malcolm’s room.

When you entered the hospital room, you weren’t exactly prepared for the sight of Malcolm in that bed, hooked up to different types of monitors, an oxygen mask over his face.

He was going to freak when he woke up, he hated being in the hospital almost as much as you hated just sitting in one. They smelled like old people and whenever you went there that meant something bad had happened.

Plus, they’ve no doubt drugged him up to make him sleep, you saw they’d already strapped him down in the bed with restraints, probably learned their lesson about a month ago when he got bit by that Black Mamba and then nearly attacked a nurse when he woke up.

“Thank you,” you told the doctor, who nodded politely before leaving the room, shutting the door behind him.

You sighed, grabbing a chair and pulling it next to the bed before plopping down in it.

Pulling out your phone, you texted Gil the room number before slipping your phone into your pocket and reaching out, taking one of Malcolm’s hands in your own, rubbing your thumb over his knuckles.

“You probably can’t hear me right now,” you began, “but if anything goes wrong…you better not die on me Malcolm Bright.”

The tears were coming again, and you let them this time, a sob escaping your lips.

He looked horrible, he was so pale and was almost cold to the touch. The doctor didn’t confirm if he was really going to be okay, who knows, maybe he’d never wake up.

The bullet had pierced his stomach, just barely missing his spine, at least that’s what Gil had told you. It’d torn him up inside though, and considering it took first responders nearly twenty minutes to get there, it only got worse as he waited.

There have been so many close calls, a few grazes here and there, but he’d never actually been shot, he’d never been injured this badly.

It was everyone’s worst nightmare, that call in the middle of the night saying a loved one’s been shot, not even knowing if they’ll be alive when you get to the hospital or if it’s already too late.

Wiping at your eyes, you took a few shaky breaths, trying to calm down. If Malcolm woke up and saw you like this then he would freak out, and no one needed that right now.

Sighing, you laid your head down on the bed, resting your head on your arm, keeping your eye on Malcolm’s heart monitor, the steady beeping a comfort to you, he was still here.

You must have fallen asleep because you were rudely awakened by the sound of a woman’s voice.

Sitting up in your chair groggily, you took in your surroundings, the details of the night before hitting you like a truck. Quickly, you looked to Malcolm, he was still asleep, it looked like he hadn’t moved.

“Hey kid, you okay?” you heard Gil ask and you looked up, seeing Gil and a woman you recognized as Jessica Whitly standing there.

You rubbed at your eyes, nodding, “Yeah, what time is it?” you asked.

“9 a.m.” Jessica said, her voice sharp, and Gil here decided to finally let me know that my son was shot and in the hospital about an hour ago.”

“He doesn’t need a whole group of people here, he’s asleep first of all, and Y/N was here to watch him, it’s fine Jessica,” Gil said, trying to reassure Malcolm’s mother.

“It’s not fine!” Jessica shouted.

“Shhh!” you and Gil both said, you looked over to Malcolm, thankfully still soundly asleep.

“Look, come on, we can talk in the hall,” Gil said, taking Jessica’s arm gently, but she looked towards Malcolm, worried.

“I’ll stay with him,” you reassured.

Jessica sighed, “Fine,” she said curtly, following Gil into the hall.

When they were both gone you stood up, stretching, you walked around the room for a while, trying to decided if maybe you should try and sleep some more or maybe find some food.

Before you could decide anything, one of the machines behind you started beeping rapidly, you turned sharply, Malcolm’s eyes were wide open, and he was struggling against the restraints now. His heart monitor was going wild.

“Malcolm, Malcolm, hey, hey, it’s okay!” you said quickly, rushing to his side.

You gently pushed him back onto the bed, “Calm down, it’s okay, you’re in the hospital,” you explained.

Malcolm had stopped the struggling but was breathing hard, face contorted in pain.

A few nurses came rushing in, “Ma’am, we can help, please move,” one of them said.

You did as told, going into the hallway, Gil and Jessica were no where in sight, which was probably a good thing, Jessica would no doubt be freaking out, demanding to be in the room.

It was only a few minutes later when the nurses came back out, “He’s calmed down, you can go back in,” one of them told you, giving you a soft smile.

You nodded, “Thank you,” you told him.

Heading back into the room, you saw they’d taken off the oxygen mask and removed the restraints, he didn’t really need them, as long as he wasn’t trying to rip out the IV in his arm.

“Hey,” you said softly, smiling.

“Sorry,” Malcolm spoke, his voice hoarse.

“It’s okay,” you told him, sitting down in your chair and taking his hand. Malcolm smiled softly, gripping your hand a bit. “Do you remember what happened?”

“I got shot,” Malcolm said, “in a junkyard.”

You nodded, “Did you see who it was?” you asked him.

Malcolm shook his head, “Too dark,” he told you.

Reaching out, you brushed a bit of hair from his forehead, “Your mother and Gil are here somewhere too, they’re both freaking out, your mom more so than Gil of course.”

Malcolm groaned slightly, “She’s going to give me an hour long lecture no doubt,” he told you.

“I can keep her out if you want,” you joked.

Your boyfriend shook his head, “No, it would make everything worse.”

“True,” you answered, sighing.

It was silent for a few moments before you spoke again, “Don’t ever do that again, when Gil called…I thought you…” you trailed off, not even wanting to think about it.

Malcolm smiled sadly, “I won’t, and I’m sorry, I never should have went alone.”

“Should have thought about that before you got shot by a random junk man,” you told him.

Malcolm looked tired, still pale from the loss of blood, but nevertheless he was trying to make you feel better, he put everyone first.

“C’mere,” he said, pulling you towards him.

You smiled, leaning forward and kissing him softly, when you pulled away, he tugged you too him.

“I don’t want to hurt you,” you told him, he was trying to pull you onto the bed.

“Fine, don’t cuddle with your wounded boyfriend,” he said, making you laugh.

“Gonna pull the victim card now?” you asked, making Malcolm nod.

Sighing, you gave in, lying next to him on the bed, careful to not go anywhere near his patched-up abdomen. You rested your head on his shoulder as he laced his fingers with yours.

At least you could finally relax, Malcolm was alive, he woke up. Now the only bad thing about this was going to be the recovery, Malcolm was the biggest baby when he was sick, so you could only imagine how this was going to be.

It was better than picking out his casket though, that’s for sure.

He’d also probably get some sleep now given the fact he was going to be off duty for a while.

You both ended up falling asleep in the bed, and Gil made sure to snap a picture and showed it to the entire station, giving them all fuel to embarrass Malcolm when he came back to work a few weeks later.

A/N: Well, hope you enjoyed this one, even if it was a bit angsty lol. Requests are open so feel free to send something in! Thanks for all the love! ~ Sara :)

#prodigal son #prodigal son fanfiction #prodigal son fic #prodigal son fanfic #malcolm bright #malcolm whitly #malcolm x reader #malcolm bright x reader #malcolm whitly x reader #martin whitly #jessica whitly #ainsley whitly #lou diamond phillips #michael sheen #tom payne #tom payne x reader #gil arroyo

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mari-beau · 4 years ago

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PSA: IF YOU HAVE HAD COVID & SEEK MEDICAL FOLLOW-UP, KNOW YOUR PATIENT RIGHTS TO REFUSE UNNECESSARY TESTS

ESPECIALLY IF YOU ARE SUBJUGATED TO THE AMERICAN HEALTH SYSTEM

IF YOU HAVE CONCERNS ABOUT YOUR COVID RECOVERY, DO SEEK MEDICAL ATTENTION!! IT IS IMPORTANT. YOU COULD HAVE SERIOUS COMPLICATIONS.

BUT DESPITE ALL THE MOCKERY AND DERISION FROM THE MEDICAL FIELD, DO SOME RESEARCH YOURSELF (FROM LEGIT MEDICAL AND SCIENTIFIC INSTITUTION’S WEBSITES/SOURCES)

DOCTORS ARE JUST PEOPLE. AND A LOT OF PEOPLE ARE NOT THAT SMART. (AND YOUR DOCTOR IS NOT NECESSARILY SMARTER OR MORE CAPABLE OF UNDERSTANDING THE VIROLOGY AND BIOLOGY OF YOUR SITUATION THAN YOU ARE). QUESTION THINGS. MAKE THEM EXPLAIN AND JUSTIFY THEIR ACTIONS.

MAKE THEM LISTEN TO YOU!

MY STORY HAS BEEN PLACED BELOW A BREAK

Because TRIGGER WARNING for people with Hospital/Medical PTSD

I tested positive for COVID-19 well over a month ago. I got moderately sick. I did not need to be hospitalized (thankfully). And was able to manage it with cold medicine. It was in my lungs. I had a high fever that cycled on and off for days, cough, shortness of breath, fatigue. By day 11, I was recovered enough and deemed no longer infectious by Public Health’s certified nurses (who know and understand COVID guidance/pathology).

It still took me awhile to completely bounce back. And surprise-surprise, my work is extremely stressful (I work for a local Public Health Department, the ones tasked with doing all of the non-direct patient care pandemic work, such as case investigations, quarantining, helping the public, inspections, answering every single question of every single member of the public). So it was taking me longer to be at normal levels of health. And I was noticing I’d be fine for days, but when I started to get a little worn down from work, I’d start coughing again.

My coworkers were concerned and had one of our nurses encourage me to seek follow-up in case I had a secondary infection as a result of my COVID infection, such as bronchitis or pneumonia. I tried calling the practice where my doctor used to be (living in rural area, the doctors maybe last a year before leaving), but the receptionist said they had no providers until following Monday (I was calling on a Wednesday). She was also baffled by my spiel:

“I tested positive for COVID-19 on November 24. I was cleared by Public Health on Dec. 4. I feel fine most of the time, but when I get tired, I start coughing again. I would like to be checked out to make sure I don’t have bronchitis or pneumonia or lung damage.”

I’m not so sure what’s so difficult about that. I had to prompt her... Should I call back on Monday then to see if I can get checked out?

My coworker used to be practice manager for that group of practices. And she was like WTF? and called over to confirm that they had no provider covering the practice through the New Year’s weekend.

But to be honest, it wouldn’t have mattered if I’d gotten through to them, because come to find out, the whole “Health Systems” conglomerate in our region funnels anyone who has had COVID to the Main Hospital ER. My mother’s doctor, who she asked to follow up because she is older and had concerns about complications, was likewise sent to the “COVID unit” in the hospital, despite the fact that she was no longer infectious and in recovery.

Anyway, the nurse at work encouraged me to get checked out that day. So I called the Urgent Care. Again, the receptionist was baffled by my spiel. As was the nurse she had speak to me. The nurse informed me I had to go to the main hospital.

Fine. I thought. I’d just get my lungs checked out and get it over with. If I had a secondary infection, they could give me a steroid inhaler or stronger cough medicine or something.

WRONG!

I show up to the Hospital, they funnel you through precautions (which is great). I give my spiel to the receptionist, adding on how I tried my primary care and urgent care, and they told me I had to come here. They give me to intake person, who asks me the standard questions and checks my vitals.

My heartrate is high.

I have panic attacks in hospitals. I can’t even visit people in the hospital. It’s not a conscious issue. And it’s completely outside of my control. I can attempt to manage with anxiety coping mechanisms, but to be honest it doesn’t work.

I inform the intake nurse/doctor/whoever that my stress levels have been high from work, specifically Monday I was in the call center getting verbally abused by our wonderful community members all day long. And that I have panic attacks in hospitals. And was likely in early stages of panic attack. He replied to me that was on Monday and it’s Wednesday (someone who had no clue how anxiety works). And I of course sounded perfectly calm then, because part of how I cope is trying to keep my shit together and not freak out.

They admit me for having a high heart rate. (BECUASE DOCTORS DON”T LISTEN, ESPECIALLY TO WOMEN).

SO, SUMMARY SO FAR: I HAVE BEEN ADMITTED TO THE HOSPITAL FOR HAVING PANIC ATTACKS IN THE HOSPITAL WHEN I JUST WANTED SOMEONE TO CHECK MY LUNGS.

They stick me in a negative pressure COVID room because I had COVID a month ago (and they don’t seem to understand I am no longer infectious, or how viruses work; yes, some people remain very sick and infectious longer; I meet all the criteria of no longer being infectious).

I have to change into hospital gown, etc. Doctor checks my lungs. Everything sounds fine. My 02 stats are 100%.

I SHOULD HAVE BEEN RELEASED AT THIS POINT. I SHOULD HAVE REFUSED ALL FURTHER PROCEDURES AND TESTS. BUT I HAVE HOSPITAL-INDUCED ANXIETY AND AM IN NO STATE OF MIND TO QUESTION ANYTHING BECAUSE I’M BARELY KEEPING MY SHIT TOGETHER. NO WONDER I’M FUCKING TACHYCARDIC.

Next up is the nurses, come to hook me up to the heart monitor and EKG.

AND DO THE ONE OTHER THING THAT CAN SEND ME INTO A FULL ANXIETY ATTACK.

They ignore me when I tell them they need to use a pediatric needle on my veins. All of my mom’s family has small, hard to find, fragile veins. THEY BLOW OUT TWO OF MY VEINS IN ONE ARM WHILE A LAB PERSON IS TRYING TO DRAW BLOOD OUT OF MY OTHER ARM.

I AM FINE WITH VACCINES/SHOTS. AND IF THEY CAN GET A NEEDLE IN AND DRAW BLOOD QUICK, I CAN KEEP MY SHIT TOGETHER. I HAVE NO CONSCIOUS FEAR OF NEEDLES OR BLOOD. BUT IF THEY MESS AROUND WITH MY ARMS TOO LONG, IT SENDS ME INTO FULL HYPERVENTILATING, CRYING HYSTERICALLY, LEG THRASHING PANIC ATTACK.

ALL THE WHILE, I’M APOLOGIZING TO THEM. AND HATING MYSELF FOR MY REACTION.

The nurse keeps trying to comfort me as she blows out another vein in my arm for an IV I DID NOT NEED. I keep saying “I’m sorry. It’s stupid. It’s so stupid I get like this.” As I’m sobbing and hyperventilating.

The nurse gives up after blowing out several veins in my arm when doing the saline wash. (This does not pardon me, but only buys me a reprieve).

Lab Guy exits with some blood he managed to get out of one of my arms.

I have been repeatedly questioned by doctors and nurses so far about having had another COVID test. I tell them no, since I can test positive for up to 3 months afterwards, it’s quite literally pointless.

THEY GIVE ME ANOTHER COVID TEST.

My first one when I was actually sick, was just mildly uncomfortable. THIS TIME THEY MANAGE TO GIVE A PRETTY SPECTACTULAR BLOODY NOSE. AND PROMPTLY LEAVE THE ROOM AS I CALL ‘MY NOSE IS BLEEDING’ AFTER THEM.

I HAVE TO USE THE MASK I WORE IN TO TRY TO STAUNCH THE NOSEBLEED.

I THINK IT WAS HERE I HAD MY FULL ON PANIC ATTACK. IF YOU HAVE THEM, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN BY FULL-ON. I WAS ALONE. (WHICH I PREFER BECAUSE THEY EMBARRASS ME).

A different nurse finally comes back for some other reason (I don’t remember now). I ask her from some tissues. She hands me some paper towels. She leaves. She returns, gives me a washcloth to clean all the blood off my face and neck. Another nurse is with her.

ROUND TWO OF DRAWING BLOOD & IV ATTEMPT

These ones do better. But I am calmer having just had the full-on panic attack. They have to use veins in my biceps to draw the blood. And finally get an IV in. (Mind you, it’s an IV I really didn’t need). They give me a bag of fluids and some anti-anxiety/sedative to try to bring my heart rate down (letting me go home would’ve worked far better).

They’ve already done the EKG. They put me through a CT scan and echocardiogram. And finally a chest x-ray (which would’ve been in the more necessary scope of treatment/evaluation for my complaint/concern about residual lung damage).

There’s a good wait time in between these.

I was already hydrated. I drink a lot of water. And so I had to pee very badly.

Because, guess what the COVID test came back positive and they’ve stuck the official notice on the negative pressure COVID room door, I have to use the little commode chair thing in the room. The nurse puts a little bedpan/measuring catch thingy in it. She takes some of my urine to test (so yet another unnecessary test).

They give me another bag of fluids. Which makes me have to pee very badly again. I try to call a nurse. My bladder’s about explode. But I’m hooked up to machines and not sure if I’m allowed to leave the hospital bed. She glances in at me. Tells me it’s okay to go.

I fill up the little bedpan.

I will have to pee very badly again by the end of this ordeal, and have more than half a mind to go pee/overflow the bedpan into the rest of the ‘commode’.

But finally whatever doctor assigned to me comes back, says everything is fine and I can be released.

Mind you, my heartrate has remained low 100s for hours and hours (a little high for me, but I was in a fucking hospital and having panic attacks and my anxiety was still quite high).

I wait another half an hour for a nurse to come and disconnect me from everything and do a ‘verbal’ discharge.

SO MANY TIMES I HAD WANTED TO YANK EVERYTHING OFF ME AND LEAVE. I NOW WISH I HAD DONE PRECISELY THAT.

My parents showed up and were waiting for me in the parking lot to drive me home and drive my truck home. My mom said it looked like I had been through a war. She’d never seen me look so terrible.

I went into work that morning feeling worn down from work. And I was coughing a little. I came out of the hospital 8 hours later feeling the worst I have in my life. Worse than when I was feverish and struggling to breath from COVID infection.

The public health nurses at my workplace advised me to file a complaint against the hospital. They agreed/informed me that what the hospital did was medically unnecessary.

I HAVE BRUISES ALL UP AND DOWN MY ARMS. I HAVE BURST CAPILLARIES UNDER MY EYES AND ACROSS MY CHEEKS FROM CRYING SO HARD. I HAVE WOKEN UP EVERY MORNING SINCE WITH A TIGHT KNOT OF ANXIETY IN MY CHEST. MY HEART RATE (WHICH I CHECK WITH A PULSE OXIMETER) HAS NOT RETURNED TO ITS NORMAL LOWER LEVELS. IT HAS BEEN FIVE DAYS.

SUMMARY:

I HAD COVID AND RECOVERD. I WAS CONCERNED ABOUT POSSIBLE COMPLICATIONS SUCH AS BRONCHITIS, PNEUMONIA OR LUNG DAMAGE BECAUSE I HAVE A RECCURRING SLIGHT COUGH.

NO HEALTH CARE PROVIDERS UNDER THE CONGLOMERATE THAT IS OUR ONLY CHOICE OF MEDICAL CARE IN OUR REGION WILL SEE ANYONE WHO HAS HAD COVID. THEY SEND THEM ALL DIRECTLY TO THE MAIN HOSPITAL ER COVID UNIT TO DO A SLEW OF UNNECESSARY TESTS AND RACK UP THE HOPISTAL BILL.

I WENT TO GET A SLIGHT COUGH CHECKED OUT. INSTEAD I WAS SUBJECTED TO UNNECESSARY TESTS AND TREATMENT JUST TO BE TOLD I AM IN FACT PERFECTLY FINE. AND NOW I HAVE TEXTBOOK PTSD.

FUCK YOU, AMERICAN HEALTH CARE SYSTEM.

**EXTRA REMINDER TO SEEK MEDICAL ATTENTION AND FOLLOW-UP IF YOU HAVE HAD COVID AND ARE CONCERNED. JUST REMEMBER YOU HAVE RIGHTS AND OUR HEALTH CARE SYSTEM’S MAIN FOCUS IS MAKING MONEY**

#american health care #covid-19 #coronavirus recovery #hospital ptsd #panic attacks #anxiety #tw: anxiety

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cerezsis · 5 years ago

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Too Soon

Human AU

Summary: Winona Damon is pregnant with baby #3. All is going well… until it’s not.

WARNING: This story depicts blood, premature labor, and pregnancy/birth complications. Tread cautiously if you are bothered by any of those topics.

“Good morning, Mrs. Damon,” the young secretary greeted.

The 45-year-old CEO barely even nodded in response as she headed to her office. She was far too busy to bother with pleasantries. The new summer collection was due to launch in less than a month, and there was still so much to do.

Winona closed the office door behind her and immediately began shuffling through papers. She groaned internally as she caught a glimpse of the clock. She had barely a half hour until her first conference call. Normally she arrived to work at least an hour earlier than she had that day, but the small bump in her abdomen had caused her to run behind. This was her second pregnancy and third child, so she knew well all the ways it could slow her down, but this one was already causing her more grief than the twins had. Perhaps it was because she was much older than she’d been when she had Yvonne and Beatrix, but stars she was so much more tired this time around. It was bad enough that her unborn daughter had a habit of using her bladder as a trampoline, but add in the round ligament pains, and trying to sleep was impossible.

Just as she always did, Winona pulled herself together in time for the conference call. It was the usual talks of which rings should be the center focus of the commercials and which bracelets should appear largest in the print adds. About halfway through the call, Winona stood up from her desk to retrieve the file of sample earring ads, when she felt a painful tightening in her abdomen. A small cry escaped her lips, not unlike the sound one would make after stubbing their bare toe on a sharp corner.

Round ligament pains again, Winona rationalized, I stood up too fast.

The conference call continued as planned, but Winona wasn’t as focused as she’d been before. This tightness in her abdomen had never happened before, and she couldn’t shake the feeling of unnerve. The remaining hour and a half of the call could have been pure static for all she knew. She was too preoccupied with the persistent thought that she needed to call her OBGYN.

Winona started to breathe easier as the executives and heads of marketing and advertising began their words of departures. She had a few hours until her next meeting, which would give her plenty of time if her doctor thought her concerns warranted a trip to her office. Just as Winona was about to say a hasty goodbye, she was silenced by the feeling of something warm gush between her legs. Her immediate thought was that the baby had hit her bladder too hard, but that went out the window when she saw her white skirt rapidly turning red.

“Mrs. Damon are you still there?” an executive on the other line asked.

Winona had already slammed open her office door before the question had been fished. The intern screamed at the sight of her, alerting the sea of cubicles to their boss’s plight. Winona found herself unable to move as blood pooled at her feet. Her body was shaking and sweating as she felt the color quickly drain from her face. Half the room was frozen in fear, and the other half was rushing to her aid. The lights were getting dimmer. Her secretary caught her as she fainted.

Her last thought before completely blacking out was of the stillness in her abdomen.

“What do you mean you’re delivering the baby!?” Yvonne screamed at the attending nurse. She and Beatrix had been in school when they got word of their mother’s condition. Naturally, they’d left immediately for the hospital. Beatrix hadn’t stopped crying since they got in the car. “Mom’s only five months pregnant!”

“Ms. Damon, normally we’d try to hold off delivery for as long as possible, but the placenta has detached completely,” the nurse explained, “With the amount your mother is hemorrhaging, if we don’t deliver now, both she and the baby will die.”

Beatrix cried harder. Yvonne’s jaw clenched, and her hands were balled in fists.

“What’s going to happen to the baby?”

“We’re going to do all we can for her Ms. Damon, but in my professional opinion, 24 weeks gestation is far too early for there to be a predictable outcome. Her odds of surviving are anywhere from 30-50%.”

Yvonne’s jaw clenched tighter. She didn’t like those odds.

“We’ll notify you when your mother’s out of surgery,” the nurse went on, “If the damage to her womb is as bad as the doctor’s predicting, we might have to perform a hysterectomy. We’ll keep you two updated.”

Yvonne nodded. As the nurse hurried off, the elder twin turned her attention to her crying sister.

“It’s going to be ok, Bea,” Yvonne assured her as she sat down in the seat next to her, “You know mom. She’s going to pull through.”

“B-but the baby,” Beatrix sobbed, “Y-Yvonne, our b-baby sister…”

She couldn’t complete her sentence. Yvonne held her as she began to cry harder.

The sound of consistent beeping was the first thing Winona heard as she started to come to. She tried to recall what had happened and where she was, but getting her thoughts straight was like trying to navigate through a maze in a sea of fog. Opening her eyes, she could make out two tubes attached to her arm; one for an IV drip and one for a blood transfusion. Something attached to her finger was monitoring her pulse and heart rate. Still clouded in confusion, she tried to sit up, but was stopped by her attending nurse.

“It’s too soon Mrs. Damon,” she advised.

Right on cue, Winona felt a sharp pain spike through her abdomen. She hissed as she laid back down, instinctively placing her hand on what should’ve been her baby bump. It was then that it all came rushing back to her.

“My baby! Where is she?”

“She’s in the NICU, Mrs. Damon. You’ll be able to see her tomorrow morning.”

“You will take me to see her now,” Winona demanded.

“Mrs. Damon…” The nurse chose her next words carefully. “Due to the damaged caused by the placental abruption, we had to perform a postpartum hysterectomy. The doctor doesn’t want you out of bed until tomorrow.”

Winona stared blankly at the nurse. She wasn’t sure how to process that. She hadn’t planned on having more children after this one, but a hysterectomy…

She decided she’d have to figure out how she felt about that later. What truly mattered right now was her baby.

“What’s happening with my baby? Is she…”

“She’s not doing great, but it’s too soon to come up with a prognosis. Babies born at this stage are very touch and go.”

“So what you’re saying is my baby could die at any moment, and you’re not even going to let me see her?”

“That’s not what I-”

“No, let me finish,” Winona interrupted, her tone quickly shifting from one of fear to anger, “Do you know who I am? I’m Winona Damon, founder and CEO of Damon’s Diamonds. I could buy this whole hospital if I wanted to. I will not sit here and be told what to do by someone who’s worth less than my Porsche. Now, go do whatever you have to do to get me to my baby girl, or I will have your job!”

The nurse stood there for a moment, speechless. Finally, she walked out of the room without another word. Winona waited, impatiently, for her to return with a wheelchair and whatever else she needed to make her mobile, but instead she was greeted by an agitated looking Yvonne and a clearly hysterical Beatrix.

“How are you feeling, mother?” Yvonne asked, though her tone sounded like she’d rather be asking “Why on god’s green earth are you threatening the hospital staff?”

“Where has that nurse gone to?” Winona demanded.

“Mother, please,” Yvonne begged, she and Beatrix moving to stand at their mother’s bedside.

“You just had major surgery!” Beatrix added, “You need to rest.”

“What I need is to get to your little sister,” Winona protested, “Have you two seen her yet?”

“No, but-”

“We’ll go together then. One of you go get the nurse.”

“Mother-”

“Don’t you “mother” me! I’m the parent, you’re the child! You listen to me! Now one of you go bring that nurse back here or so help me I’ll-!”

“Alright, alright, mother!” Yvonne said, mostly out of fear Winona would end up reopening her wound if she didn’t calm down, “I’ll talk to the nurse and see what I can do.”

Winona was satisfied enough with that response. Yvonne left the room, Beatrix following close behind her. She didn’t like being alone with her mother when she was angry.

After much arguing with nurses and doctors, and having to sign several wavers stating she understood the consequences of disobeying doctors’ orders, Winona was finally wheeled down to the NICU, her teenage daughters following alongside. It had the most depressing energy out of everywhere else in the maternity ward, riddled with sick babies and scared parents. The Damon women were soon at the side of the incubator labeled with their family name. Beatrix gasped, Yvonne’s eyes widened, and Winona stared blankly at the much too tiny creature that was housed inside of the incubator. She was skinny, wrinkly, and hooked up to so many tubes and wires. Her delicate eyes were covered with a tiny eye mask, too sensitive for the fluorescent lights of the hospital. She was so still, the only indication that she was alive coming from all the machines she was hooked up to. The twin sisters looked at each other, communicating without words that this thing looked more like an alien creature than a baby.

“I’m sorry to say that I can only allow you to look at her,” the doctor explained, “She’s too weak to be held, or even touched right now.”

Winona was silent. Yvonne and Beatrix were silent. This little thing was so fragile. How could it ever fulfill the dream of the bright young heiress they all envisioned?

“Well, I’m assuming you’ve had time to examine her,” Yvonne said to the doctor, “What’s the prognosis?”

“As I’ve already explained, Ms. Damon, I can’t say for sure at this point. Things can change from minute to minute.”

“But what about this minute?” Beatrix begged, “What are things looking like this minute?”

The doctor’s expression dropped.

“Right now… I wouldn’t encourage getting your hopes up.”

The twins expressions dropped alongside the doctor’s. They’d expected as much, but to hear it out loud…

“Piper,” Winona finally spoke.

All eyes turned to the new mother.

“Pardon me, Mrs. Damon?”

“Piper. Her name is Piper.”

It had been three weeks since Piper Damon was brought into the world. Though she was on doctor’s orders to get as much rest as possible, Winona hadn’t missed a second of visiting hours. She’d been warned several times that her recovery time would be much longer if she didn’t take it easy, but, as she often did, Winona dismissed their concerns in favor of her own instincts. Nothing would keep her from her baby, especially not today.

Winona sat in a curtained off area in the NICU, little Piper in the incubator beside her. Unbuttoning the last button of her blouse, she watched in anticipation as the nurse removed the impossibly tiny baby from her incubator. At long last, Winona’s newborn was placed on her bare chest, a baby blanket provided by the hospital placed over them.

The mother smiled at the baby, who, though still connected to several wires and tubes, was finally where she was supposed to be; in her mother’s arms.

“Hello Starlight,” Winona softly said.

Piper’s eyelids began to twitch. She didn’t need to keep her eye mask on for as long of periods anymore, and just a few days ago she opened her eyes for the first time. Winona hadn’t been lucky enough to be there to see it, and Piper had still yet to open her eyes during visiting hours. Maybe now she’d finally get the chance to look into her daughter’s beautiful eyes.

Winona gently ran her finger down Piper’s pencil thin arm, stopping when she reached her impossibly tiny hand. The nurse had gone to tend to another family. It was just the two of them now.

“Baby mine, don’t you cry,” Winona began to sing, “Baby mine, dry your eyes. Rest your head close to my heart, never to part, baby of mine.”

Piper’s eyelids continued to twitch. She was clearly reacting to her mother’s voice.

“Little one, when you play, pay no heed what they say. Let your eyes sparkle and shine. Never a tear, baby of mine.

“If they knew all about you, they’d end up loving you too. All those same people who scold you, what they’d give just for the right to hold you.

“From your head down to your toes, you’re not much, goodness knows, but you’re so precious to me. Sweet as can be, baby of mine.”

As the song came to an end, Piper’s tiny eyes fluttered open. Winona smiled proudly as she held onto the baby’s doll sized fist. Her eyes were a bright blue, though were likely to change as she got older. Winona hoped they’d turn gray, like her own.

“There you are,” she quietly said to the baby.

As quickly as they were open, Piper’s eyes shut again. Though it felt too soon, Winona was so happy to finally see it.

“We’re all so excited to bring you home. We’re already almost finished with your nursery. Everyone’s told me not to get my hopes up, but I know you’re a fighter. You’re a Damon, after all. Soon you, me, and your sisters will all be together in the estate. You’ll have many toys to play with, you’ll want for nothing. Doesn’t that sound lovely, Piper?”

Though her view was obstructed by the breathing tube, Winona could’ve sworn she saw Piper smile.

#su #steven universe #my writing #white diamond #yellow diamond #blue diamond #pink diamond #human au #the great diamond authority #it's been too long since I've written something

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lunatens · 6 years ago

Text

black out

word count: 4131

genre: like,, a little angst at the beginning but then just lots o fluff

pairing: yang jeongin x gender neutral reader

summary: best friends to lovers, sequel to this (you don’t really have to read it first but it’s short and also will give more context so why not)

song rec: friend zone - AB6IX

a/n: this has been in my mind for so long but I put it on the backburner to work on other stuff but I finally GOT TO SIT DOWN AND WRITE IT and oof it’s so long like by far the longest thing ive written here idk how that happened but it did!! so enjoy <3

jeongin towel-dries his hair, walking from the bathroom to his bed after his post-practice shower. it's late, and all he can think about is sleep--that is, until, he glances at his phone to see a missed call from you from 5 minutes ago and he frantically rushes to pick up his phone, clumsy fingers shaking with nerves as he calls you back. it's been about a month since you and chan became official, and the only times jeongin's seen you in that month have been when you come over to visit chan--you'll usually throw jeongin a casual wave and smile (maybe, occassionally, a "hey!") in passing. the couple times jeongin's attempted to make plans with you all ended up cancelled for one reason or another, so eventually he stopped trying. you'll return his texts every other day or so, and they're always friendly, but not like they used to be.

so, naturally, jeongin is quite shocked to see your name on his screen; to see that you have called him for once. you pick up after the second ring, and jeongin's heartbeat picks up pace at the sound of your voice.

"hey jeongin," you greet him softly.

"h-hey y/n, what's up? sorry, i was in the shower so i missed your call," he replies, trying to keep calm.

"oh, that's okay, i was just thinking, um, it's been a while since we've really hung out and...can you come over jeongin?" you say, and jeongin can easily pick up on the slight waiver in your voice; he's known you long enough to know when you're on the verge of tears and to know when you need him at your side. he can tell you're trying to be casual and calm, but when he catches the quiet sniffle after you say his name he's tugging on the first clothes he can find and struggling to pull on his shoes while still keeping the phone tucked between his shoulder and his ear.

"yes! yes, of course, y/n, i'll be there as soon as i can," he says, and you let out a sigh of relief at his words.

"thanks jeongin, i-i'll see you soon," you say before hanging up. jeongin practically runs out the door, leaving a very confused and mildly concerned felix and minho behind in the living room as he breezes past them on his way out of the dorm. his hair is still slightly damp from his shower, and the night air is chilly, but he doesn't care as he makes his way to your house as fast as he can. he doesn't bother knocking (you two are way past that point) but rather bursts into your house and towards your room, pausing to knock lightly at your door. nothing happens for a moment, and it's silent save for the creak of your bed and shuffle of your feet as you get up, flinging your bedroom door open wide and pulling jeongin into your room and into a tight hug. he gently nudges the door closed behind you, then stands frozen for a moment, not quite sure what to do but let you wrap your arms around him, face buried in his chest. his head is spinning a little with the sudden excitement of having you back in his life and in his arms, old feelings he tried to ignore after you got together with chan quickly resurfacing, and his heart tingles to have you with him again. he pushes his feelings aside for now, though, because when you let out a quiet sob he knows what you need right now is your best friend. he reciprocates your embrace, holding you tight to his body while you cry.

you stay like that for a while, crying into jeongin's chest while he's there to hold you, gently stroking your hair to try and help you calm down, no words spoken between you--he knows you'll talk when you're ready. eventually, when your sobs turn to sniffles, you pull away, looking at jeongin with red eyes and a snotty nose.

"chan and i are over," you say, looking down at the floor. jeongin is shocked at your news; last he checked, you and chan were doing well, and the two of you were happy together. he sits on the edge of your bed, patting the area beside him to invite you to sit with him. you oblige, leaning into jeongin's side, and he hopes you can't hear how his heart races at your touch.

"oh my gosh, i'm so sorry, what happened? do i need to fight him? well, i'm not sure i could do that, but i'd try my best for you," he says, and you laugh softly at his words.

"no, it's okay, it was mutual. we just weren't right for each other, i guess. we've decided to still be friends though, so it's all good," you say with a sigh.

"oh, that's...good?" jeongin says, furrowing his brows in confusion--why on earth are you so upset if the breakup was mutual and friendly? you seem to read his mind, answering his question before he can even ask it.

"i really missed you, jeongin." you say, and you start welling up with tears again. "i'm so sorry i was such an awful friend; i totally left you behind for chan, and that was really awful of me. but yeah, spending more time with chan i realized, um, you're really important to me and i really missed you and i know i really messed up, i'm sorry jeongin, " you rant, and you pull away from jeongin to wipe at your tears.

"it's okay, y/n, of course i forgive you," he says, voice almost a whisper as he tentatively reaches up to brush a tear from your cheek. you smile at him softly in return, and he can see the relief in your eyes.

"thanks, jeongin. i love you," you say, pulling him into another hug, and jeongin's heart breaks a little bit, knowing you mean it just as a friend and nothing more.

"i love you too," he mumbles back, knowing he means it differently than you, but the sentiment is still the same; you're his world, and he cares about you so much--as long as you're happy, he's happy.

when you've both had a chance to calm down from the situation a bit, you catch jeongin trying to stifle a yawn.

"oh my god, it's so late! i'm so sorry, you must be so tired," you say, glancing at the clock. "i don't want to make you go home by yourself at this hour, do you wanna just stay here? have a sleepover for old times sake?" you say, a shy grin tugging at your lips. jeongin can't hold back his smile as he agrees, going to pull out the little spare mattress he uses to sleep on your floor.

"um, if you want, we can just share my bed, it's way more comfortable than the floor," you say (a little awkwardly). there's no way to hide the way jeongin's entire face flushes red, and you laugh as he stands there trying to stutter a response. "it's okay, jeongin," you say, rolling your eyes at the shy and awkward boy and grabbing his hand to pull him under the covers. you flick off the light, leaving the two of you in darkness, only able to see faintly through the dim light of the street lamp outside that trickles in through a crack in your blinds. you're both curled up facing each other, but there's still quite a lot of space between you.

"goodnight, jeongin, thanks again for everything," you whisper.

"it's really nothing, y/n--what are friends for? goodnight," he whispers back, and you hear the covers rustle as he turns around to face away from you--you can't help but smile at how he's perched as close as humanly possible to the edge of the bed as he can be without falling off. soon enough you hear his soft snoring, and you let out a nervous breath you didn't realize you'd been holding in. see, the real reason you and chan broke up was because the more time you spent with him, the more you missed jeongin, and the more you realized you were in love with your best friend. chan was very understanding when you explained things to him, and, frankly, not surprised. while you and chan got along well and everything, you realized you never felt quite the same towards him as you did towards jeongin. you were able to end things well with chan, but you were worried you'd ruined everything with jeongin--not just your chances as a relationship, but your entire friendship, so you were grateful when he was able to forgive you. you heart sinks a little when you remember his words, "what are friends for" and you wonder if that's all you'll ever be to him; a friend. there were moments in your friendship you wondered if he had feelings for you, but you had pushed those all aside, not even aware of your own feelings at the time. now, you can't help but worry you've ruined all chances with him--all you can do now is be grateful he's willing to still be friends with you, and with that thought, you drift off to sleep.

"bye y/n, see you later!" jeongin calls to you as you wave from the end of the driveway, making your way home after hanging out and watching movies all afternoon with jeongin. it's been a couple weeks since you guys started hanging out again, and you now spend pretty much every moment of your free time together--you both say it's making up for all the time you missed out on while you were with chan, but the members all groan at the sight of you two mutually pining for each other from a distance, both too scared to do anything (jeongin nearly murdered felix the other day for trying to whisper across the room for jeongin to "just kiss you already").

his eyes follow you fondly as he watches through the front window, unable to wipe the giddy smile from his face or to hide the quiet giggle at how you dance a little as you walk, the music from your headphones fueling your movements. once you're out of sight, the dark street lit only by the buzzing orange glow of the streetlamps and no longer by your presence, jeongin turns to head back to his room only to connect with a broad chest in his way. startled, he takes a couple steps back to see who's in his way, only to be met face to face with chan. he raises his eyebrows at jeongin, whose rose-tinted cheeks only confirm chan's suspicions.

"you and y/n seem awful close lately, jeongin," chan says, folding his arms smugly.

"it's late, so uh, i think i should probably get to bed..." jeongin tries to change the topic, attempting to push past chan but the older boy throws his arm around jeongin's shoulders and tousles his hair.

"you can't keep secrets from me, jeongin, i know you've got a little crush on y/n," chan teases, and jeongin wiggles to try and worm his way out from under chan's arm, causing chan to laugh affectionately at the younger boy.

"go away, chan!!"

"aww, it's okay, i won't tell her! you should do something about it though, it's sickening the way you two look at each other. like, just ask each other out already!" chan says to jeongin with an exasperated sigh. jeongin gives up trying to escape from chan, knowing there's no way to avoid his questioning.

"she's my best friend though, i don't wanna ruin that! what if she doesn't like me back..." jeongin's voice trails off at the end of his sentence, and chan's heart breaks a little at jeongin's sadness.

"you're really quite oblivious, huh. listen, invite her over after practice tomorrow, do whatever you want, but i really think you should consider telling her how you feel, you might be surprised," chan says, then adds "if you don't do something about it soon, i'll do it for you," giving jeongin a final pat on the back before heading away to his room.

"wait, what do you mean surprised?? what are you doing?!" jeongin calls after him anxiously.

"goodnight, jeongin," chan simply responds in a sing-song voice, not bothering to turn around before entering his room and closing the door behind him. jeongin stands there, blinks a couple times in confusion, then pulls out his phone to invite you over tomorrow night for typical netflix and snacks and lounging around (of course, you say yes in a heartbeat).

the doorbell rings, signaling your arrival, and jeongin sends a worried glance to chan, felix and minho, who are all hanging out in the living room trying to act casual (really, they're just nosy--although chan says he's here for moral support). the three of them flash jeongin a thumbs up, and, taking a deep breath, he goes to open the door.

"hey, jeongin!" you say as you walk in. "i couldn't decide what flavour of chips to bring, so i brought like 3 kinds, is that okay?" you ask.

"yep!" jeongin replies, although his voice cracks, which doesn't help his confidence or his nerves. you merely giggle, blushing as you "accidentally" brush your arm against his on your way inside.

"hey guys," you say, waving to the three boys on the couch. you pause for a moment in confusion; chan is positioned a little too perfectly on the couch, and the magazine felix and minho are reading is held upside down, but you decide not to think too much of it and you head to jeongin's room anyways. jeongin shoots daggers from his eyes at the boys, who all beam angelically at him in response.

you're halfway through the first movie, propped up against a mountain of pillows and blankets on jeongin's bed, when all of a sudden the lights in the room flicker off. jeongin frowns and reaches to flick the lightswitch a few times, but to no avail.

"that's weird," he says, double checking all electronics in his room to find they're all turned off. "i guess the power must have gone out?"

"spooky," you say with a half-hearted laugh, bringing a blanket up to your chin, and it's only now that jeongin remembers you're terrified of the dark.

"okay, uh, it's gonna be okay y/n, uh, i'll go see if any of the members have candles or something, i'll be right back," he says, turning to leave the room.

"wait!" you call, and jeongin turns around so fast he almost loses his balance and falls. "don't leave me alone," you say in a small voice, sliding off the bed and fumbling across the dark room towards jeongin; you find him, and in the dark your hand searches for his, grasping on tightly once you find it. his palms are a little sweaty, but it's okay because yours are too. you huddle close behind jeongin as he carefully leads you through the halls; the two of you soon discover, however, that the dorms are empty.

"they must've gone to get food or something..."jeongin says, eyes narrowing in suspicion when he notices a box left on the kitchen table. he pulls out his phone flashlight to examine it (ignoring how you stay clinging onto his arm the whole time; if he thinks about it too much, he'll get flustered), and upon opening the box finds several candles, some matches, and a tiny photo album.

"that box wasn't there when i got here, was it?" you question, just as suspicious as jeongin; chan obviously knows about your feelings for jeongin, so you have a sneaky suspicion this is somehow all his doing.

"no, it wasn't. we might as well use it though," jeongin says, giving in to whatever the boys are trying to do. he picks up the box in one arm and clumsily leads you by the harsh white light of his phone back to his room. he guides you to his bed, letting you get cozy while he lights candles all around his room (you giggle when it takes him a few tries to light a match properly, and when he nearly lets the match burn a little too close to his fingertips, letting out a frantic "ahh!" as he shakes the flame from the tiny piece of wood). you keep a watchful eye on him, feeling a little less anxious now that the room is aglow with flickering golden light, the flames casting shadows that dance across jeongin's face, concentrated as he focuses on lighting each and every candle, and you think it makes him somehow even more beautiful.

once you're fairly certain he isn't going to light himself or the room on fire, you reach into the box to pull out the photo album. your breath hitches when you open it to the first page, running your fingers over the smooth surface of the plastic pocket that the little 4x6 photograph sits in. it's a photo of you and jeongin on your first day of kindergarten, the two of you standing proudly beside each other, big smiles (complete with missing front teeth) on both of your faces. you smile fondly; you and jeongin have been best friends for as long as you can remember; your parents were close friends, so naturally, you were with each other all the time.

"what is it?" jeongin says curiously, and you feel him crawl across the bed to sit beside you. you can feel his tiny exhales on your shoulder, the air hot on your skin as he hovers beside you to see, almost leaning into you but not quite. "oh, haha," he realizes, little puffs of air tickling you as he giggles softly at the picture. your skin tingles with goosebumps at his proximity, and you tuck your hair behind your ear. "we were so small," he says, and you turn just slightly so you can see the wide grin on his face, matching the one in the picture, and you think not much has changed. your fingers flick through the glossy plastic pages, and you spend the next 20 minutes or so laughing and sharing memories of your childhood.

as you progress through the album, time in the photos passes as the two of you grow older--you reminisce on the day the two of you got your braces on (you insisted you get them on at the same time, although pages later you find the picture of you beaming braces-less while jeongin sulks beside you, mouth still full of metal, and the two of you giggle at the look on his face; you lightly shove jeongin's shoulder playfully, and even in the low candlelight you can't miss the way his cheeks burn red at your touch). the pictures get more and more recent, turning more into pictures you and jeongin have taken of each other rather than ones taken by your parents--there's the time you went to the fair, and when you learned how to roller skate together, and when you went to the petting zoo and held a snake--you're smiling, but your eyes send a pleading look to jeongin behind the camera; you remember almost peeing your pants you were so scared, and jeongin just laughed at you, promising to buy you a milkshake after as consolation.

you finally reach the last picture--the remaining few pages of the album are empty--and the two of you let out a little gasp in unison. up to this point, jeongin's recognized all of the pictures (he makes a mental note to thank his mom for giving chan all those childhood pictures, and also to not leave his phone unlocked around chan, although luckily it worked out in jeongin's favour this time). it's a simple picture, recent; just taken at the dorm, nowhere fancy--who took the picture, neither of you know, but that can wait until later. you and jeongin are sitting on the couch in the dorm living room; it must've been one of your late night conversations, where you just sit on the couch in your pjs and talk about anything and everything. the picture shouldn't have been anything special, but it's impossible to miss the way you two look at each other, doubled over in laughter at something one of you said, eyes locked in a gaze that says in that moment no one else in the world existed, just the two of you locked in your own little world. you almost feel that way now, and you wonder if jeongin feels the same.

you turn your head to look at him, searching his eyes for something you know by now is already there; it's there in the way he's always there to talk to you no matter how tired he is, or the way he's always willing to watch your favourite movie no matter how many times you've seen it, or the way his eyes look at you now, sparkling and wide with realization, and you know he's thinking the same thing as you.

"y/n, i-" he starts, but before he can say anything you're leaning in to give him the softest of kisses, your lips melting against his like you were made for each other. it's an innocent, gentle kiss that only lasts a couple seconds, but it says everything you can't find the words to say out loud. you pull away, shock plastered over both of your faces as you sit silent for a moment before erupting in embarrassed giggles, and you find your hands grasping at his shirt to pull him back into your lips, although the kiss this time is really half kiss and half smiles and laughter, cheeks burning, shy and timid, but excited about these new progressions. you and jeongin have never been overly touchy-feely--just the right amount, you would say--so being this close to him is strange at first, yet it feels so right at the same time. no words need to be said; you've known each other long enough to know what’s running through the other’s mind, and the giddy energy that radiates off of you only encourages more laughter and more cuddles.

the power flickers back on, and you blink your eyes at the sudden brightness. aggressive whispers can be heard from the other side of jeongin's bedroom door, and there's a gentle knock before the door opens without waiting for an answer. several heads peek in as pretty much all of the members take in the scene of you and jeongin nestled up against each other; you both shrink down into the blankets more out of shyness and you turn to bury your face in his sweater, trying to hide from the nosy boys, but the action only elicits a chorus of cooing from the members (and fake vomiting from someone--you think it’s jisung). you catch hyunjin begrudgingly hand a $20 bill over to a smug seungmin, earning a smack on the wrist and a stern glare from chan, who then smirks at the sight of the candles decorating the room and the photobook spread open on the covers.

"well then, that was quite a random power outage..."chan says, not subtle at all as the boys murmur agreements. "just popping in to make sure you guys are okay, we'll be leaving now," he says ushering everyone out and mouthing a "you're welcome" before closing the door and leaving you alone again.

"well, thank god for chan and his crazy plans or this might have never happened," you say, leaning your head on jeongin's shoulder.

"hey, it still could've happened!" jeongin says in defense, although you both know you're both way too chicken to ever take initiative on your own.

"mhm, sure," you say, planting a tiny kiss on his cheek. you're not sure you'll ever get used to the feeling of your lips on his, or how his skin brushes against yours, or how every time he looks at you, you still feel the butterflies dance in your stomach; although now they're less from nerves and more from an overwhelming love for your best friend--boyfriend, now, you remind yourself. it still doesn't feel real, but that night as you fall asleep (sleeping in jeongin's bed feels a little more awkward now that you're more than just friends), listening to his soft breathing, studying the rise and fall of his chest and the perfect curve of his lips, the gentle fluttering of his eyelids as he dreams, nothing could be more real.

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