#me coming back to this post as an example bc i had another thought:

[thedreamgirljournal]

THE 3D CONFORMATION

Dreamgirl I'm a bit confused when it comes to the 3d. It makes me really frustrated and spiral bc I will assume I have it, it's mine and believe the 3d conforms easily and it doesn't so that causes me to spiral. If ik I have it in the 4d then why won't it show? I rlly don't understand that advice bc the 3d constantly reminds me I don't have it, I'll try for months, hold my diet for a long time, get in the wish fulfilled state and stop seeking and then I'll look in the mirror or sth happens and it hits me rlly hard, what do I do?

so i got this ask, but the account forgot to make it anonymous and they wish to stay anonymous, so i thought i would answer this by making a new post. i hope you see this and i hope it will help you! <3

to change our 3d, we must change our 4d first. in other words: to change our reality, we must change our thoughts. our thoughts shape the reality we see with our eyes every day when we wake up; we do it every single second and we’ve been doing it since we first started thinking. most of it it’s unconscious, though.

to manifest consciously, all we have to do is to think what we would think if we already had what we want. to assume we have what we want. to act as if we had what we want. to know we will get what we want. by doing so, we get what we want. always, without exception, we get what we want.

if a desire “is not showing up” in your reality, you are assuming so. that’s the only reason why you wouldn’t see a desire in your reality. when you manifest, you shift to the reality in which you have your desire. instantly. but, when assuming you don’t have your desire, you might shift to another reality in which you don’t have your desire.

spiraling is normal; everyone experienced it at least once. the difference is how you deal with it. your intrusive thoughts, of course, don’t manifest; however, if your intrusive thoughts become your dominant thoughts, you could experience some troubles with your manifestation.

the best way to deal with your spiraling, in my opinion, would be: take a deep breath, clear your mind, be relaxed. then, affirm you have your desire. and don’t take no for an answer. you have you desire. no back talk. don’t think of time, don’t think of methods. once you manifest, it’s manifested. the law states it. persist in the knowledge you have your desire, because you do. and when i say persist, i don’t mean obsess; that is not healthy nor helpful to you. when i say persist, i mean keep on knowing you have your desire (because, as i said, you do). you can keep affirming if you feel like it, but affirmations are just a reminder that you have your desire at this point, cause you already have it. for example: if you own a car, you would sometimes think about the car you own. that’s an affirmation, in a way. it’s reminding yourself of something you already have.

i hope i have been clear enough and exhaustive in my explanation. if the account sees this and has any more questions, they know where to find me. i hope i’ve been helpful to the people who read this. <3

[autisticandroids]

@pingnova replied to this post:

One of the things I like the most about your interpretations of spn and destiel is that they're both "bad people" and that's interesting. I was explaining to a friend how I loved some comedies bc all of the characters are "bad people" so when the slapstick and pettiness happens back and forth I can just laugh at all of them. it goes further for me (all humans are flawed and probably seem irredeemable and disgusting to someone else, no matter what). but I have never…

…been into interpretation that relies on characters being "right" or essentially perfect and sinless. I find drama between sinless characters utterly boring and contrived. I like characters that are messy and human. its a good reminder for me about myself and makes entertaining stories. sometimes when i talk about a character friends mistake me for criticizing them because I talk about their flaws. nah, I think it's great they're assholes. they're fictional, the only..

...place I want to deal w assholes in my life. stories are just complex bad people getting tangled with other complex bad people. my fave spn character outside cas is Meg, to the shock of many. I have given up explaining it to most people lol. "but she's bad!" yeah ok I thought it was hot? and kind of funny. I don't feel like explaining rn. 😅

oh thank you! this is something i always put a lot of thought into. like, one of the things that frustrates me about fandoms generally is i think the rough edges tend to get sanded off characters. like, some characters are vilified, yes, but that happens as a result of other characters getting herofied. like, if characters we're meant to like and root for can't be mean and self-serving and destructive, then to create conflict, one must invent flat, cartoonish villains to pit them against.

actually, as a sidenote, i was talking to @spriteofmushrooms on the phone the other day and trying to come up with a working definition of "darkfic" and we ended up deciding that it seems to mean "fic where characters are allowed to have unacceptable desires and motivations." and that's not exactly what it is, darkfic is hard to pin down, and it has some stylistic and genre conventions that are its own. for example, the first church at the end of the world by @withbloodstainedclothingon is a fic i love, and a really vicious and uncomfortable and vicious character study on both dean and cas (but especially dean). it is also unabashedly darkfic, and the reason it expresses the things it wants to express about cas through cas running like a misogynistic cannibalism sex cult is because one of the conventions of darkfic is a kind of aggressive edginess. that isn't a criticism, it's just saying that had the fic been working in a different genre, the author might have chosen a different method. or another example, my fic i fold in half so easily and @twoheadedcas' fic samson went back to bed are both kind of similar in various ways. they're both attempts to take late seasons canon seriously, attempts to reconcile with the position cas is in re: dean and jack in the late seasons, and attempts to put cas through a meat grinder. and they're both, i would say, darkfic. i know for a fact i didn't really start out with ifihse intending to write darkfic, and while melanie (hiiiii) might correct me here, there's a good chance they didn't either while writing swbtb. these are just the places one is naturally led to when engaging with the late seasons seriously. but there's a big difference between ifihse and swbtb in terms of: i am, on the balance, a darkfic writer. a lot of my fic is out and out darkfic, and even when it's not it tends to contain darkfic stylistic habits. @twoheadedcas has written a bit of darkfic in their tenure, but on the balance, they mostly write non-darkfic. so if you compare ifihse to swbtb, despite their tonal similarities, and despite the fact that both were written (in my opinion) primarily as pure reactions to canon, ifihse has some of the hallmarks of being a darkfic (in particular the emphasis on cas' erotic pleasure and his discomfort/ambivalence about it; darkfic tends to be even smuttier than normal fanfics and that smut tends to be both kinkier and more inclined to play with the lines of emotional comfort and consent), while swbtb has some of the hallmarks of being a non-darkfic (the best example is dean and cas sharing a sweet almost kiss in the middle, which is absolutely a classic destiel fic thing). this is actually one of my favorite things about samson went back to bed: in darkfic that is written to be darkfic, no matter how seriously and genuinely it engages with canon and the characters, there will always be the feeling that there is a finger on the scale, tilting characters to be just a little nastier, grosser, more evil. but non-darkfic is usually skewed the other way: the characters are skewed to be more comfortable and palatable. by aligning itself with non-darkfic, samson went back to bed legitimizes the dark interpretation of canon it presents by saying "i am not skewing things to be worse. i might even be skewing things to be better. and yet we're still here." which i think is cool.

but that's kind of the crux of the thing, isn't it? most darkfic is just a twisted mirror of most non-darkfic. instead of flattening characters to be better than they are, making them paragons of virtue, it flattens them to be worse than they are, making them cartoon villains. obviously, this isn't true of all darkfic, i am a great enjoyer of darkfic and frequently write it myself. there's plenty of good darkfic out there. but if sturgeon's law applies double to fanfic, it applies triple to darkfic. and i think it's because there is this inability, in fandom, to imagine that these beloved characters could be bad people. which means that non-darkfic tends to portray them as flat heroic figures. but it also means that darkfic tends to start from the premise "haha what if (character) was EVIL" rather than recognizing the ways they already kind of are (and the ways in which they are good, as well). both non-darkfic and darkfic frequently hold this black and white mindset, it's just a lot clearer in darkfic because darkfic always sets out to engage with darkness, whereas a lot of non-darkfic is just about things other than whether characters are "good" or "bad," and even when it's about characters' morality, it's usually less contrary to the canon, so there isn't as much emphasis on it or time spent contemplating it. so it's less in your face.

but yeah. i put a lot of work into taking the characters of supernatural seriously as complex and morally suspect people. that's what's fun to me. i find the other way kinda boring. i'm glad you enjoy what i'm selling :3.

(for some supplemental reading check out this post by @astermacguffin)

[tarobytez]

disability in the Six Of Crows Duology; an analysis of Kaz Brekker, Wylan Van Eck, and the fandom’s treatment of them.

****Note: I originally wrote this for a tiktok series, which im still going to do, but i wanted to post here as well bc tumblr is major contributor to what im going to talk about

CW: ableism, filicide, abuse

In the Six of Crows duology, Leigh Bardugo delicately subverts and melds harmful disability tropes into her narrative, unpacking them in a way that I, as a disabled person, found immensely refreshing and…. just brilliant. 

But what did you all do with that? Well, you fucked it up. Instead of critically looking at the characters, y’all just chose to be ableist. 

For the next few videos paragraphs im going to unpack disability theory (largely the stuff surrounding media, for obvious reasons) and how it relates to Six Of Crows and the characterization of Kaz Brekker and Wylan Van Eck, then how, despite their brilliant writing, y’all completely overlooked the actual text and continuously revert them to ableist cariactures.

Disclaimer: 1. Shocker - i am disabled. I have also extensively researched disability theory and am very active in the disabled community. Basically, I know my shit. 2. im going to be mad in these videos this analysis. Because the way y’all have been acting has been going on for a long ass time and im fuckin sick of it. I don’t give a shit about non-disabled feelings, die mad

Firstly, I’m going to discuss Kaz, his play on the stereotypical “mean cripple” trope and how Bardugo subverts it, his cane, and disabled rage. Then, I am going to discuss Wylan, the “inspiration porn” stereotype, caregivers / parents, and the social model of disability. Finally, I will then explain the problems in the fandom from my perspective as a disabled person, largely when it comes to wylan, bc yall cant leave that boy tf alone.

Kaz Brekker

Think of a character who uses a cane (obviously not Kaz). Now, are they evil, dubiously moral, or just an asshole in general? Because nearly example I can think of is: whether it be Lots’O from Toy Story, Lucius Malfoy, or even Scrooge and Mr.Gold from Once Upon A Time all have canes (the last two even having their canes appear less and less as they become better people)

The mean/evil cripple trope is far more common than you would think. Villains with different bodies are confined to the role of “evil”. To quote TV Tropes, who I think did a brilliant job on explaining it “The first is rooted in eugenics-based ideas linking disability or other physical deformities with a "natural" predisposition towards madness, criminality, vice, etc. The Rule of Symbolism is often at work here, since a "crippled" body can be used to represent a "crippled" soul — and indeed, a disabled villain is usually put in contrast to a morally upright and physically "perfect" hero. Whether consciously on the part of the writer or not, this can reinforce cultural ideas of disability making a person inherently inferior or negative, much in the same way the Sissy Villain or Depraved Homosexual trope associate sexual and gender nonconformity with evil. ”

Our introduction to Kaz affirms this notion of him being bad or morally bankrupt, with “Kaz Brekker didn’t need a reason”, etc. This mythologized version of himself, the “bastard of the barrel” actively fed into this misconception. But, as we the audience are privy to his inner thoughts, know that he is just a teenager like every other Crow. He is complex, his disability isn’t this tragic backstory, he just fell off a roof. It’s not his main motivation, nor does he curse revenge for making him a cripple - it is just another part of who he is. 

His cane (though the shows version fills me with rage but-) is an extension of Kaz - he fights with it, but it has a purpose. Another common thing in media is for canes to be simply accessories, but while Kaz’ cane is fashionable, it has purpose.

The quote “There was no part of him that was not broken, that had not healed wrong and there was no part of him that was not stronger for having been broken.” is so fucking powerful. Kaz does not want nor need a cure - its said in Crooked Kingdom that his leg could most likely be healed, but he chooses not to. Abled-bodied people tend to dismiss this thought as Kaz being stubborn but it shows a reality of acceptance of his disability that is just, so refreshing.

In chapter 22 of SOC, we see disabled rage done right - when he is called a cripple by the Fjerdan inmate, Kaz is pissed - the important detail being that he is pissed at the Fjerdan, at society for ableism, not blaming it on being disabled or wishing he could be normal. He takes action, dislocating the asshole’s shoulder and proving to him, and to a lesser extent, himself, that he is just as capable as anyone else, not in spite of, but because he is disabled. And that is the point of Kaz, harking back to the line that “there was no part of him that was not stronger for having been broken”. 

I cried on numerous occasions while reading the SOC duology, but the parts I highlighted in this section especially so. I, as many other disabled people do, have had a long and tumultuous relationship with our disability/es, and for many still struggle. But Kaz Brekker gave me an empowered disabled character who accepts themselves, and that means the world to me. 

Keeping that in mind, I hope you can understand why it hurts so much to disabled people when you either erase Kaz’s disability (whether through cosplay or fanfiction), or portray him as a “broken boy uwu”, especially implying that he would want a cure. That flies in the face of canon and is inherently fucking ableist. (if u think im mad wait until the next section)

Next, we have Wylan.  

Oh fucking boy. 

I love Wylan so fucking much, and y’all just do not seem to understand his character? Like at all? Since this is disability-centric, I’m not going to discuss how the intersection of his queerness also contributes to these issues, but trust me when I say it’s a contributing factor to what i'm going to say.

Wylan, motherfucking Van Eck. If you ableist pricks don’t take ur fucking hands off him right now im going to fight you. I see Wylan as a subversion another, and in my opinion more insidious stereotype pf disabled people - inspiration porn.

Cara Liebowitz in a 2015 article on the blog The Body Is Not An Apology explains in greater detail how inspiration porn is impactful in real life, but media is a major contributing factor to this reality. The technical definition is “the portrayal of people with disabilities as inspirational solely or in part on the basis of their disability” - but that does not cover it fully. 

Inspiration porn does lasting damage on the disabled community as it implies that disability is a negative that you need to “overcome” or “triumph” instead of something one can feel proud of. It exploits disabled people for the development of non-disabled people, and in media often the white male protagonist. Framing disability as inherently negative perpetuates ideals of eugenics and cures - see Autism $peaks’ “I Am Autism” ad. Inspiration porn is also incredibly patronizing as it implies that we cannot take care of ourselves, or do things like non-disabled people do. Because i stg some of you tend to think that we just sit around all day wishing we weren’t disabled. 

Another important theory ideal that is necessary when thinking about Wylan is the experience of feeling like a burden simply for needing help or accommodations. This is especially true when it comes to familial relationships, and internalized ableism.

The rhetoric that Wylan’s father drilled into his head, that he is “defective”, “a mistake”, and “needs to be corrected”, that he (Jan) was “cursed with a moron for a child” is a long held belief that disabled people hear relentlessly. And while many see Van Eck’s attempted murder of Wylan as “preposturous” and overall something that you would never think happens today - filicide (a parent murdering their child) is more common than you would like to believe. Without even mentioning the countless and often unreported deaths of disabled people due to lack of / insufficient / neglectful medical care, in a study on children who died from the result of household abuse, 40 of 42 of them (95%) were diagnosed with disabilities. Van Eck is not some caricature of ableist ideals - he is a real reflection on how many people and family members view disability. 

Circling back to how Wylan unpacks the inspiration porn trope - he is 3 dimensional, he is not only used to develop the other characters, he is just *chefs kiss* Leigh, imo, put so much love and care into the creation of Wylan and his story and character growth that is representative of a larger feeling in the disabled community. 

That being said, what you non-disabled motherfuckers have done to him.

The “haha Wylan can’t read” jokes aren’t and were not funny. Y’all literally boiled down everything Wylan is to him being dyslexic. And it’s like,,,, the only thing you can say about him. You ignore every other part of him other than his disability, and then mock him for it. There’s so much you can say about Wylan - simping for Jesper, being band kid and playing the fuckin flute, literally anything else. But no, you just chose to mock his disability, excellent fucking job!

Next up on “ableds stfu” - infantilization! y’all are so fucking condescending to Wylan, and treat him like a fucking toddler. And while partly it is due to his sexuality i think a larger portion is him being disabled. Its in the same vein of people who think that Wylan and Jesper are romantically one sided, and that Jesper only kind of liked Wylan, despite the canon evidence of him loving Wylan just as much. You all view him as a “smol bean”, who needs protecting, and care, when Wylan is the opposite of that. He is a fucking demolitions expert who suggested waking up sleeping men to kill them - what about that says “uwu”. You are treating Wylan as a burden to Jesper and the other Crows when he is an immensely valuable, fully autonomous disabled person - you all just view him as damaged. 

And before I get a comment saying that “uhhh Wylan isn’t real why do you care” while Wylan may not be real, how you all view him and treat him has real fucking impacts and informs how you treat people like me. If someone called me an “uwu baby boy” they’d get a fist square in the fucking jaw. Fiction informs how we perceive the world and y’all are making it super fucking clear how you see disabled people. 

Finally, I wanted to talk about how the social model of disability is portrayed through Wylan. For those who are unaware, the social model of disability contrasts the medical model, that views the disability itself as the problem, that needs to be cured, whereas the social model essentially boils down to creating an accommodating society, where disability acceptance and pride is the goal. And we see this with Wylan - he is able to manage his father’s estate, with Jesper’s assistance to help him read documents. And this is not out of pity or charity, but an act of love. It is not portrayed as this almighty act for Jesper to play saviour, just a given, which is incredibly important to show, especially for someone who has been abused by family for his disability like Wylan, that he is accepted. 

Yet, I still see people hold up Jesper on a pedestal for “putting up with” Wylan, as if loving a disabled person deserves a fucking pat on the back. It’s genuinely exhausting trying to engage with a work I love so much with a fandom that thinks so little of me and my community. It fucking shows. 

Overall, Leigh Bardugo as a disabled person wrote two incredibly meticulous and empowered disabled characters, and due to either lack of reading comprehension, ableism, or a quirky mix of both, the fandom has ignored canon and the experiences of disabled people for…. shits and giggles i guess. And yes, there are issues with the Grishaverse and disability representation - while I haven’t finished them yet so I do not have an opinion on it, people have been discussing issues in the KOS duology with ableist ideals. This mini series was no way indicative of the entire disabled experience, nor does it represent my entire view on the representation as a whole. These things need to be met critically in our community, and talked about with disabled voices at the forefront. For example, the limited perspective we get of Wylan and Kaz being both white men, does not account for a large portion of the disabled community and the intersection of multiple identities.

All-in-all, Critique media, but do not forget to also critique fandom spaces. Alternatively, just shut the fuck up :)

happy fucking disability pride month, ig

[letsperaltiago]

you and all your little things | jake & amy

Based on an old prompt I received in my inbox a loooong time ago:

"this is either a fic request or just a nice thought, depending on if you like it haha! i saw a reddit post today about a woman who said she loves finding kitchen appliances in the wrong place bc she knows that means her boyfriend must have tidied up the kitchen. she said on a stressful day, coming home and finding something in the wrong place makes her feel happy that her bf is trying to do something to make her day easier - even if he messes up a little. gave me early j&a vibes, season 3ish"

Rating: G (Pure fluff <3)

Words: 1.4k

Read here or on AO3

----

She doesn’t think too much about it… Or maybe rather she tries not to think too much about it. 

Amy Santiago tries not to think too much about the fact that she really likes being in a relationship: the solid, silly, and amazing kind with Jake Peralta. She might even be loving it, if she has to be completely honest.  

It’s the smallest things she usually loves the most and it drives her that much more insane that the man does the tiniest, trivial things and she swoons as if he’s asking for her hand in marriage - not that she’s thinking about that yet… duh. Or… maybe a bit? How can a guy she’s been with for just barely 6 months mean so much to her already? Is that normal? More importantly: is it safe? 

Even during the entire (and very intense) ‘annoying and difficult to be around’-phase Jake happened to go through when she first started at the 9-9, deep (very deep at times) down,  Amy always knew she liked Jake. Even before they were dating, obviously, but now that she has him her true and completely unhinged feelings are starting to surface and show. Slowly, bit by bit like the iceberg in the horizon, threatening to come closer and crash into her. No, of course, she doesn’t think of their relationship as a fatal shipwreck but they did just watch Titanic a few days ago and the metaphor is right there. After the movie, tiredly stretching after having fallen asleep with her head resting in his lap, Jake had suddenly gone silent and looked at her through the dark with a look so intense she could’ve sworn he was about to tell her a century old secret that could change the world. 

“Ames?” he’d said so seriously that it made her heart drop to her gut.

“Y-yeah?” 

“I’m about to ask you something very important.” Even in the dimmed light of her scented candles, she could see the depth of his brown irises grow darker. What had happened to the lighthearted and never-serious boyfriend of hers? 

“W-what?” She was tired, disoriented from her mid-movie nap, and now she was supposed to sit here and just witness him breaking up with her or something. Her life was definitely a joke. Silence swallowed them as he reached over the tiny gap between them and grabbed her hands. Another few seconds snailed by. Neither moved from their seats on the couch. 

“Will you paint me like one of your french girls?” 

What? Her brain short-circuited. 

“What?”

Then she saw it. A glimt, so mischievous it couldn’t hide, ever, appeared in his eyes. Lips broke into a tight line that told her he was holding back a grin. Even in the darkness, it was clear as day that he was messing with her. 

“Jacob, you asshole!” she punched his shoulder and he finally broke, letting out a cackle. 

So yeah, no actual Titanic happening in their relationship, and Jake has totally stolen her heart, and Amy is all at once completely enamoured but also horribly scared of how quickly she’s falling… getting used to it. Mainly, as already mentioned, the little things. 

Jake utterly, obliviously and completely messes with her way of thinking logically and even worse… her love and respect for organizing. 

Example: A couple of months ago, Jake had stayed the night. Even though she was going to work the in the morning, while he had a day off, Jake had insisted on staying the night. In the morning he’d sent her off with a kiss (and a playful smack to the butt) before passing back out in her bed. Driving to work Amy couldn’t help but overthink all the mess she’d come home to because untidiness was part of her boyfriend’s DNA. Even though it took some minor controversies and time getting used to, now she didn’t mind too much. Cleaning was fun and if it meant that Jake was making himself at home and stuck around more often then she’d gladly put up with it. It was safe to say that she was both pleasantly surprised and amused upon arriving back home to her now-empty apartment. 

When she walked into her home the air was crisp, clean even, telling her that Jake had aired the apartment for her before leaving. Lucky her because she’s pretty sure that the smell of their miserably burnt popcorn from last night must’ve been hell to get rid of. Suddenly she wondered what else he’d done. She didn’t expect anything but maybe Jake Peralta had the potential of being a tidy boyfriend. After taking off her boots and coat, putting it away as per usual, Amy wandered through her apartment as if she was visiting an exhibition at a museum; curious to learn and openminded. 

The blanket from last night was folded and rested across the sofa’s armrest - just how she always did herself but she’s positive that she didn’t do that yesterday. They’d made out on the couch and Jake had carried her straight to bed to continue the horny activities. It was safe to say that neither of them had gone back to the living room after that. Sure, the blanket could’ve been folded more neatly but Amy couldn’t possibly get herself to do anything about it; she’d been too busy smiling from ear to ear at the image of her boyfriend folding the huge, black plaid to the best of his abilities. 

The kitchen had been cleaned as well but she did happen to do a double-take when her eyes wandered across the sight of their two mugs (yes, they have stupid matching couples’ mugs) standing very much washed and clean, she also noticed, on top of her coffee machine.  Following her own logic, mugs would always belong in the cupboard: above the plates, next to the glasses. 

However then, suddenly, Amy could also see it from her boyfriend’s point of view: what do you use mugs for? Coffee. Where do you make the coffee? Coffee machine. Duh. Thus they belong together. 

She’d napped a picture of it and sent it to him right away. 

Amy Santiago:

Never thought of doing this but it somehow makes sense.

A few moments later her phone pinged, notifying her of a new message.

Jake Peralta:

oh ames welcome to the wonderfully logical world of jake peralta

She’d chuckled at it before heading for further exploration of her own home. Besides it being tidy as usual (almost up to her own very high standards) she didn’t notice much. The bed was made, shower scraped clean and his dirty clothes in her laundry basket. From day one they’d made a rule: she didn’t mind washing his clothes but the least he could do was put it in the laundry basket and not leave it all over the place. Never had he broken the rule.  And for him to clothes leave behind for her to wash is okay since he always does the same for her when she leaves something behind at his place - so far he’s only turned two of her white items pink. The first time, very early on in their dating slash situationship, he'd confessed straight away.

Jake Peralta:

don’t be mad. i turned your t-shirt the color of love.

click to open attachment. 

He’d texted her the first time.

Amy Santiago:

Wow, what a unique take on messing up my white t-shirt.

Jake Peralta:

sorry :( 

Amy Santiago:

It’s okay <3 I’ll just have to steal one of yours

The second time he'd left the item on her bed, folded in something resembling a heart, with a note with 'color of love' and a tiny heart next to it. She couldn't be mad - even if it was her night shorts. The note she kept in her drawer. 

Although she hadn’t noticed earlier that day he'd stayed over on his day off, she later comes one more puzzling yet amusing surprise. One is when she’d been looking for her reading glasses and couldn’t find them, only to randomly come across them… lying next to her toothbrush. She’d been more than curious to understand the logic behind the placement and sent him a picture. 

Amy Santiago:

What is the logic behind this? 

Jake Peralta:

You always read in bed before going to sleep. You always brush your teeth right before getting into bed. I thought it was normal to pair the two? 

Wow. She’d been smiling and blushing so hard and if he had been there with her then he definitely would’ve teased her about it. 

He definitely wasn’t a titanic. He was a million things, tiny little things, that made her heart flutter and lips curl into stupid school girl smiles. What can she say? Jake Peralta has a wonderfully weird brain and she’s slowly, bit by bit, falling more and more in love with him and his logic. 

[writingfool001]

I JUST HAD A THOUGHT!!!! Yk how in the movie Clarence (I'm sorry if I get the names wrong and forget terms, I didn't watch the movie with subtitles bc I couldn't find one and it's been a while since I've watched fantastic beasts) kinda just became this black flowy silk????? Thingy bc he snapped or smth? And I remember a post saying Newt!Mc was capable of doing so (if not uhhh disregard this ^^) how would the nrc fellas react to that?

Newt!MC is inspired by Newt Scamander

I understand what you're trying to explain, its okay. I had to rewatch the first movie of the Fantastic Beasts series for inspiration.

I did talk about how it was capable for Newt!MC to do this IF they consciously tried to contain their magic. I realize my mistake now and how that would clash with general Newt!MC since they use their magic to take care of their creatures and animals as well as casting spells, so initially it wouldn't make sense if Newt!MC had this ability.

Now for those who just wanted an answer to the prompt or question: No, Newt!MC is not capable of doing so because they express and use their magical abilities. For those who are curious and want to read more into it, then continuer reading.

Warning, contains spoilers about Secrets of Dumbledore

If you don't want spoilers about anything involving Secrets of Dumbledore, save to read this afterwards until after you see Secrets of Dumbledore then come back.

Bringing this up actually made me step back and think about it. During this discussion, I will be referring to the wikis regarding Obscurus and Obscurial. For quick context, I will give a definition of both from what I've read.

Obscurus is materialization of the repressed energy of a young witch/wizards/wixes (I am not sure if I am using the right.) who either consciously restrained or were forced to not use their magical abilities. Doing so could cause the energy to become an entity who would appear in a hostile fury when the obscurial loses control.

Obscurial: the young witch/wizards/wixes who developed the dark parasitcal magical force due to their magic being repressed.

When the obscurial reaches their breaking point, the obscurus would appear and start a violent outrage, giving the opportunity of . We have mainly seen Credence who is an Obscurial turn into the obscurus due to extreme cases.

Another thing that is mentioned that most obscurials die before their tenth birthday while only two cases have lived past their tenth birthday.

For example, Credence is a special case considering he is past ten and has unusually powerful magic. Ariana Dumbledore wasan obscurial as well, but she lived past her tenth birthday; however it was poisoning her. It did not kill her, but she was dying.

It is impossible for Newt!MC to be because they are not related to the Dumbledores and they are older than ten as well as using their magical abilities throughout their childhood.

[iamafanofcartoons]

I haaaaate hate hate hate how people said Hazel's redemption arc made sense and Emerald's didn't?

I'd argue Hazel's does still make sense ofc but it's sooooo telling to me how ppl love his and hates hers.

Esp bc, imo, hers makes MORE sense?? We saw hints of it from volume THREE come on

If you want a short example, here's a screenshot by somebody on Twitter who noticed an annoying trend.

Here's the link if you're curious. https://twitter.com/spicybinch/status/1582743854477778944 Me personally?

I've noticed THIS particular issue.

Ruby Rose: Tries actively and super hard to always do the right thing and respect people’s choices.

RWBY Critics: OMG She’s so boring, come back when you have a personality.

Ruby Rose, Blake Belladonna, Robyn Hill: Makes human mistakes, proving both are complex character with flaws, capable of evolving.

EruptionFang, Vexed Viewer, their followers: OMG See? She’s not a saint, she was a horrible person all along, idk why people act like she’s a good person, she should burn in hell.

And then we have the straight white guys who are the villains in RWBY. Yes, I'm excluding Hazel for this one because Unlike Roman, Adam, and Ironwood? Hazel takes accountability for his actions, tries to make amends, and shows actual regret...so already we see that like Emerald, he is given more of a chance of redemption than the three.

Roman Torchwick and Adam Taurus : Does awful things willingly, consistently and without reason, and may make jokes about hurting people in general.

EruptionFang and The RWBY Rewrite folks: OMG he’s so funny and hot. I love bad boys/villains/bad people. They MUST be morally grey, cause they're so cool, they must have a tragic backstory justifying their actions.

James Ironwood: Has a pathetic excuse for his actions, blames it on other people, never takes accountability, and does a teeny tiny good thing (Think of it as nepotism) and throws outbursts when he doesn’t get his way.

Fandom on all 3 men: OMG, he is so sad, my poor baby, he deserves so much better, my heart is breaking for him. He is a complex character  with so many layers and he owns their horrible disgusting actions. But his actions are not his own fault. He has trauma. OMG so hot.

I mean they also scream character assassination when it comes to male antagonists, but let me ask you this.

You notice how these critics look at a robotic acting nanny for Penny Polendina by the name of Ciel Soleil, who only had 60 seconds of screentime, and whine about wasted potential?

Several things to keep in mind. 1, these people only call v1-3 "peak animation" because they put Monty on a pedestal, and because they were obsessed with yang's chest size. That's it.

2. These people are not used to women characters having more complexity than a male character. They were fed a diet of media that treated female characters badly in one way or another.

3. Last but not least. ANYTHING Miles and Kerry do, or ANYTHING a RWBY fan does, people will hold under a microscope. Yet insulting the show and the fandom gets people put on a pedestal.

The next time you see somebody get mad at female characters in RWBY getting some form of redemption? Check their comment or post history and see if maybe they have some weird issue towards women...or LGBT.

You ever noticed how these critics who claim to be fine with LGBT shipping or at least wlw shipping get so upset and uncomfortable at the mere thought of mlm shipping?

[rosie-posie0777]

things my sister did that helped me heal from ED sheeran<3

This is halfway a sister appreciation post and halfway a post about how YOU can also help people who had/have my same issues. what worked for me won’t work for everyone, but this is just the perspective of someone who’s come pretty far in recovery and i want to help others do the same! i apologize but this is going to be long bc my sister is amazing.

she wasn’t afraid to “snitch.” sounds weird but hear me out. we have a very controlling mother who i don’t have the resources to get away from rn, and if my mom had found out about my problems, she would NOT have been supportive. she would have watched my every move twenty-four seven, forcing food down my throat, calling me ungrateful, attention seeking, money wasting, etc. but had my issues ever become life threatening, my sister didn’t sugarcoat it. she told me that if she knew i needed serious help and was a danger to myself, she would NOT enable me or keep my secrets. if it was either dying of ED sheeran or living a miserable life being even further controlled by my mom, she would have done WHATEVER it took to keep me alive, even if I was mad at her for it. 

she didn’t force me to do anything. she never guilted me by saying “eat... for me?” or made me eat in front of her to “prove” i was okay, which would only have made me INCREDIBLY uncomfy

she laughed along with my dark, ridiculous jokes about ED sheeran, which she knows are my fave coping mechanism in most situations. she was the ultimate safe space, and i never had to think twice before speaking in front of her for fear of being judged or misunderstood bc she’d always give me the benefit of the doubt. still, she would always remind me why my logic was unreasonable. example: i would make a joke about being scared of bread, and she’d laugh along, making a subtle comment about how she didn’t understand how it could control my life so much. obviously it controlled my life because I felt like i HAD to be skinnier, which brings us to or next point:

she reminded me that my weight did not equal my worth. she would always subtly compliment me both on things to do with my looks and things that did not, which built my self worth. even as someone who didn’t understand my illness, she never invalidated or challenged it, but she gave me even more validation whenever i said anything nice about myself or defied my disorder. any time that i did, she would EXPLODE with enthusiasm and pride, making me feel accomplished for loving myself whereas my eating disorder would make me feel accomplished for going days without eating and destroying myself. and she never tried to shove “looks don’t matter” down my throat because obviously that never works.

she listened and tried to understand, often repeating what i said back to her and continuing to listen if she didn’t get it the first time.

she checked on me randomly. when i was having obviously good days as well as obviously bad ones.

she asked why i was freaking out “randomly” instead of getting defensive or telling me i was being ridiculous when in truth i was just having another ED sheeran related problem

she didn’t judge or make assumptions. never once did she jump to a conclusion once i came out to her as an ED sheeran fan. 

this is more specific, but she would make all sorts of crazy recipes from Pinterest, including Ben and Jerry’s cookie dough, cake balls, mug cakes, etc. endearingly, her recipes DEFINITELY did not always turn out exactly the way she thought they would, but they were always good. she’d never make a big deal out of asking me to try it either. and she never guilted me by saying anything like “i made this, why won’t you eat it?” she always made stuff for me as a purely selfless act. she reminded me that food is not a tool to reach your ugw, food is a necessity to survive, and it should also be fun. 

so this kind of turned into me ranting about my perfect sister, but i really hope this helps any ED sheeran fans or anyone who has a loved one who is an ED sheeran fan. my sister isn’t perfect, and she definitely isn’t responsible for my recovery - that’s up to me. so if you know an ED sheeran fan who isn’t recovering, don’t feel guilty! don’t destroy yourself mentally trying to make them recover because you don’t want them destroying themselves mentally to weigh less, so how is that fair? just do your best.

i told my sister that without her i might weigh 90 pounds by now, but without her i definitely wouldn’t be happy, and with her help i’ve come to realize that if i weighed 90 pounds, i wouldn’t be magically happy. liysm @bettafetta, you make my life a million times brighter and i don’t know what i’d do without u<3

[blorbologist]

14 and/or 39 for Percy and/or Cassandra (I think I have some idea what these facts will be but also I don't care because I have a strong feeling they will cause me pain which Yes Please)

14. Endling.

Endling is the word for the last of a species, the last of their kind. They’re often named - notable examples are Lonesome George the tortoise, Toughie the frog, Benjamin the Thylacine and Martha the Passenger Pigeon.

(also the timing is perfect that another CR post has been circulating about this Exact Fact but i SWEAR I wrote it down last Friday ngjkerngkrenn)

39. Shock-white.

Hair going white from shock (hi Percy) seems to be caused by your fight-or-flight response going into way overdrive. See, when your sympathetic nervous system is engaged, it turns off functions that take energy away from immediate survival - it’s why your throat goes dry and you don't feel hungry when stressed, bc digestion is a huge energy sink. And it seems like it can sometimes go bonkers and just. Stop producing pigment, too. Apparently the pigment can sometimes resume production. Fun fact, I had a prof who went white in his early 20s! He's since passed but was the absolute coolest ;;

Just doin' HCs cause the birthday is Over but I still wanna chew through these:

One of the de Rolo children's favorite books growing up (bar Whitney, she thought it too sad) was one about endangered and rare creatures, magical and benign. It was an old book, one Frederick had grown up with actually, so many of the species listed were now extinct. One entry, about a single surviving frog, forever calling for a mate and never hearing a reply, stuck with Cass and came back to her during the Briarwoods' reign. She found that old book.

We have to remember there was a period where each of them likely thought themselves the last de Rolo. Had to plan accordingly. I imagine Cass did her best to stow away family records and portraits, where the Briarwoods wouldn't destroy them and mildew wouldn't ruin them. Recited her family tree when she could - as a calming strategy (as I use in New portraits) and just to make sure they wouldn't be forgotten. Percy lost two years, so by the time it really hit him he was less focused on preservation and more on vengeance - he didn't try to remember because it hurt too much. But it crossed his mind that, maybe, he might need to give up the name if those on the List were too powerful and his vengeance was half-made. Go into hiding and become a secret de Rolo.

(Even once they found eachother, neither considered the possibility of more de Rolos, of another generation, until Vex and Percy eloped, and then it was a moment of o h. Oh, oh there is a future. I'd like to think Percy did away with the secrecy early just to tell her, because this is their family and she should know that Vex is a de Rolo, now, too. There's one more. They're not alone anymore.)

I HC that the family actually goes shock-white fairly easily - it pops up a fair deal in their mother's side, perhaps with an aunt who had an accident on horseback who went white at a similar age Percy did.

In AUs where Vesper isn't planetouched/an Aasimar, I could see her hair going white due to a fairly mild trauma compared to Percy's or Cass' - say, idk, a brush with illness, or a single fairly shitty day. It DOES scare the hell out of Percy to see Vesper's coming in white, though, and there's a period where he's on a crusade through the castle to find out what could have happened under his nose to do this to her. He doesn't know that it could be a mild thing. Once his fears are settled, though, Percy feel a lot better about his own hair, the thought it's not necessarily a mark of his trauma, that it could have gone white anyways.

[scott-mccall-the-hot-girl]

my ultimate guide to thiam fic !!

( as a new teen wolf stan )

-

the classic post war, long ass (multi chapter) fic !!with great development that genuinely made me laugh out loud, they have the best friendship in this & i love it very much. ( like theo teaches liam to drive and i just *happy sobs* ) a fundamental in thiam fanfiction !! all stans have probably already read it but if you haven’t this is in fact a threat ,, go show this vv iconic story some love !!

Airplanes - Captainmintyfresh

Summary: After the Anuk-ite and the hunters are dealt with Liam needs a break. Cue Theo and a road trip that Liam should know better than to think will be peaceful.

Not Rated, No Archive Warnings Apply, Completed, 43/43 Chapters, Words: 236,875 (236k)

-

okay okay so this one is also post 6B !! but ,, now we introduce fighting monroe & the hunters again ,, so we get the boys & a new mission !! so if you like an intresting plot 11/10 would recommend !! just to be clear this ISN’T complete ,, if that turns you off i understand but definitely give this one a read !! it litterally have theo doing crossword puzzles & fighting zombies

Vacancy Signs - LovelyLittleGrim

Summary: Theo and Liam are in Manhattan negotiating a pack allyship when the zombie apocalypse breaks out. Now, the two of them have to find their way back to Beacon Hills without getting eaten by zombies or killing one another.

Rated: Explicit, Graphic Description of Violence, Not Completed, 15/17 Chapters, Words: 89,605 (89k)

-

Royalty AU !! I REPEAT ROYALTY AU !! a fantastic au where i stan their moms more than i stan them !! genuinely so good at the childhood rivals to lovers trope !! i’m genuinely obsessed with this one. has made me cry more than once ,, hurts in a good way <3 the ending is just *chefs kiss* also one of the tags is genuinely: # theo and liam make bad choices for over 130k straight !! if that doesn’t sound appealing i don’t know what does !!

Artificial Love - songbvrd

Summary: Prince Theo and Prince Liam are forced to spend every Summer together from age five onwards. They hate each other, and usually find ways to make each other miserable as much as possible in their six weeks together. But when they're reunited because of intended unions as adults, things change. They're both supposed to be married to noble women, but neither of them is as interested in anyone else as they are with their childhood rival.

Rated: Mature, No Archive Warnings Apply, Completed, Chapters: 32/32, Words: 172,935 (172k)

-

so if you are in the mood for a crack fic that’s not explicitally a crack fic this is for you !! okay so i’m really hit or miss with AU’s ,, sometimes i feel like they don’t quite capture the characters right but this story have the BEST dramatic liam i have ever seen in my life !! basically they all live in the same apartment building & it’s fantastic !! i saw this one floating around a lot but the summary didn’t really unrest me until i have it a shot !! so go read it rn !! also nolan & brett are genuinely fantastic and make me wheeze ,, LIKE ACTUALLY VERBALLY LAUGHING !! all i’m gonna say is that my fav characters are scott & the beetles but that won’t make actual sense until you read it !!

The Neighbors Song - TheodoreR

Summary: “I always hear you singing on your balcony every morning, but suddenly you’ve stopped?”

Or the one where Theo annoys Liam every morning with his awful singing until he doesn’t anymore and Liam is even more annoyed. Liam hates every single thing about his mornings -the fact that they happen in the morning alone is enough. The thing Liam hates the most about his mornings though is the terrible voice of the guy who lives below him. He can’t sing for shit and Liam tried to politely let him understand that by throwing flour and water on his balcony, and also by shouting it to him, you can’t sing for shit!, and then by writing it into a note he proceeded to attach to his door, but this Raeken guy just keeps doing it, every single morning, like a fucking rooster. Liam did nothing to deserve this. He probably didn’t do anything to deserve better either to be fair, he doesn’t expect to open his window and be welcomed by some angelic voice singing him good morning, he’d just be happy with nothing. Silence. That’s something Liam can appreciate in mornings. Just some bark from his dog and the sound of his misery and that’s it. But no, god forbid the new guy lets him have that.

Rated: Explicit, Creator Chose Not to Use Archive Wanrings, Completed, 8/8 Chapters, Words: 42,814 (42k)

-

me: i’m not a big fan of AU’s ,, proceeds to talk about ANOTHER au… OKAY BUT THIS ONE !! it’s not complete but the author has been updating regularly ,, vv slow burn !! but in a REALLY intresting way !! i lOVE LIAM IN THIS SO MUCH ,, he is such a diaster of a person and it’s wonderful !! they have a great dynamic & i’m sucker for general puppy pack content ( and erica reyes being a badass ) !! also theo plays lacrosse in this & i really like it ahhhhh ,, also liam is just being an artic monkeys stan the whole time & theo is like *que confused repressed gay noises*

Inglorious Roommates - honeyscape

Summary: A roommate is defined as “a person with whom one shares a room.”

Theo would say a roommate was more along the lines of, “The person who's the bane of his existence. The weirdo that sleeps for days. The spaz that exercises at 3am. The guy with a revolving door of annoying friends. An insufferable human being that Theo has no control over living in his room.”

Example: Theo hates his roommate Liam.

-

okay okay i hate myself but i have another WIP for y’all !! this one is jUST FANTASTIC. i’m genuinely so upset it’s most likely not going to updated again *incoherent screaming ensues*. for this story ,, it’s very theo-centric bUT thats bc it ends right before liam becomes a concrete member of the story !! ANYWAY: basic plot = theo & acquiring not one but two children ,, so #dad theo but he is still crusty & homeless and i love him very much. it’s just so GOOD !! just read if you want to experience my fav theo coming out story & him etching high school musical

Look who's talking - Captainmintyfresh

Summary: Theo had been labeled many things in his life. Evil, failure, monster. He'd never thought Father would be one of those things but as he looked across the table to a six year old with blue smears of bubble gum icecream across her face trying to coax the first words out of her sister. Finger jabbing towards Theo's face as she repeated 'Daddy' again and again he couldn't bring himself to dispute the label.

(Theo accidentally adopts two young werewolves)

Not Rated, Creator Chose Not to Use Archive Warnings, Not Completed, Chapters: 16/?, Words: 48740 ( 48k )

-

so here me out: post-canon ( poetry like angst ) summer get away !! just the boys doing cute little domestic things together whilst pining !! theo’s guilt in this is just so powerful & aGjffkgkkfkvkdlv !! i think it’s so interesting to see how they interact in this one, it’s just very heart warming !! and it features one of my favorite niche teen wolf tropes of theo being great with like seven year old girls- it’s just so good ,, very much a wonderful little one shot that just makes your heart happy.

(next time i see you you'll show me) a hundred different ways to say the same things - cherrysprite

Summary: “...You deserve good things,” Liam says eventually. He makes sure not to look at Theo even though he can feel his eyes turn on him. Somehow he can already tell that Theo doesn’t believe him.

Liam instantly makes that the goal of this summer - making Theo believe him.

Rating: Teen and Up, No Archive Warnings Apply, Chapters: 1/1, Words: 28875 ( 28k )

-

okay so this next section of fic recs is a bit different !!

two of my favorite authors !! and a compilation of fics i’ve read by them both !!

for context: these two have written some genuinely gorgeous fics, like pure poetry, they explore the real gritty & scary side of our boys relationship in such a wonderful way. they’ve both used some of my favorite tropes & i love them very much !!

whenever i need something soothing but so genuinely intresting & enticing these are my go to !! ( also they both write a lot of good nolan angst & some vv good fics with hayden )

go check out:

eneiryu

as well as fallingforboys

here are some of my favorite fics by them ~

darling i want you here in my arms (kiss the pain away, i know you can) - fallingforboys

even before you touched me, i belonged to you (all you had to do was look at me) - fallingforboys

memories linger like tattoo scars (but your touch on my skin is just as permanent) - fallingforboys

skin, bones, a stolen heart, and an ugly creature lurking underneath -fallingforboys

i don't know how to breathe in the place i called home - fallingforboys

whisper your gossamer truths into the shadow, maybe you'll find the answers you're searching for - fallingforboys

between the mountains and the valley we built a monument to our regret - eneiryu

cracked the hinges of the cage and waited for you - eneiryu

-

okay and finally: since i am a self centered whore

my own fic: an rendition of the # elevator scene

it’s basically my version of post canon if we did get the kiss in the elevator. we got a classic liam pov in which he is has 12/10 for extreme bi diaster energy even whilst being shot at !! so go him ig…

Fuck Off, Fuck This & Fuck It! - nefelibata_peach

Summary: Liam thought to himself heart rate climbing, they were bound to be dead by morning. So he thought with everything but his brain and he kissed him.

Where Liam Dunbar is very confused, slightly traumatized, and just a bit scared but hey, aren't they all! Bad decisions ensue as two boys fight in a war they never did sign up for.

Rating: Teen and Up, Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Chapters: 1/1, Words: 3558 ( 3k )

[nataliescatorccio]

Unpopular opinion here: I have not read the books nor played the games but I wanted a sex scene between Geralt and Triss in the show, it would be fun. And maybe in s4 we'll get Geralt /Milva. I've read she's important character. I love Geralt/Yen, don't get me wrong and I want them as endgame but why not explore other relationships too? It's an adaptation, whoever wants the books can read them. I didn't like the writing in Voleth Meir bc they never show us why Yen didn't try to resist her, I mean did she mind controlled her, they had an unbreakable oath or Yen just wanted her power back hence she didn't say anything to Geralt earlier? but the betrayal was excited. I know in the books Yen and Ciri are supposed to be mother and daughter but in the show it might change and become frenemies to reluctant allies later. Anything is possible. As I said I haven't read the books, only the descriptions on wiki so I don't have expectations or connections with the characters. Thanks.

i wouldn't have been up for triss/geralt sleeping together when they were originally supposed to in season 2. i just don't like the portrayal of a woman being at her weakest point and needing to sleep with a man who doesn't even prioritise her, which is what it would have been if it were done on the show. it would have been triss at her lowest point with no self confidence reaching out to geralt, and him sleeping with her to bury his grief over yennefer. it just wouldn't have felt right for me as a scene, triss deserves better and i hope she instead gets a love interest that prioritises her. i'd truly love to see development with her and lambert, i thought they had a fun dynamic in season 2.

with milva, her and geralt never hook up in the books and again, i wouldn't feel comfortable if they went down that route because of milva's storyline. i know you don't know the books and i don't want to post spoilers for you, but for me it really wouldn't fit with her overarching plot (which i'd be surprised if they change just because it fuels so many of her decisions). i'm not opposed to geralt hooking up with other women, as much as i ship yenralt i know they will always go back to each other in the end. there are just other pairings i'd prefer to see! i'd really love them to bring shani into the show at some point, for example. i don't mind deviations from this but only if they are done properly and give the female characters agency within it. with the books and games it feels a lot like geralt sleeps with every woman he comes across, so it's actually really refreshing to have an adaptation where women aren't throwing their pants at him.

i found that yennefer's storyline was more about not being able to resist voleth meir than didn't resist her. she was at her lowest point, broken down to where she felt like she had absolutely nothing, and she felt helpless. if you lost everything and someone said to you, 'you can have everything back, just bring me this person?' would you not consider it? i think people are too harsh on yennefer for this decision, especially as she started to go back on it towards the end. i didn't like it as a storyline, but i can understand yennefer's pain. but to follow on to your point about yennefer and ciri, they actually do not get along initially in the books! they hate each other upon first meeting, and it is only through spending time together that they learn to respect and love one another. while what has happened in the show is extreme, i do think they can still get to having that wonderful mother/daughter relationship, it will just take more time for them to build up that trust. i just hope the writers are putting in that effort to make their developing relationship feel authentic as it is absolutely one of my favourites.

[skunkes]

do you have any pointers on making characters that you love and are proud of 🥺 i know it’s kind of a loaded question but i feel like i just Can’t make a whole being that i love and want to expand on! i’ve started on many ocs before but have inevitably abandoned them

This is a little hard to answer! I dont have many ocs, make one every 7 years, and I don't really have that feeling of Love and Pride for very many of em.

(i also end up abandoning em, see: how only Talon and Al seem to exist right now)

but anyway:

The process that I've found has helped me develop Talon (who I'm gonna use as example bc he's The recent oc and muse) and other ocs is...taking time to develop em as if they're Real Persons.

I joked earlier this year when I was starting to develop him, that he was Acclimating to my Brain, and that I was locking him in a room with my other ocs while I figured him out, but that actually also helped!

Im big on daydreaming so sticking talon in "a room" with other ocs kinda of helped build on all parties, as your brain gets to play with surface level interactions.

As for the real persons bit, I also mean this as Figurative language and not "I actually think my ocs are real people :)" but adjacent to the daydreaming, I let my ocs sort of tell me stuff about themselves as time progresses. Like, when I made Talon I didnt scramble to be able to fill one of those character sheets with facts about him on Day One. I couldn't tell you right now what his Biggest Phobia is or whatever. (But maybe some day he'll let me know!)

I feel like that ⬆️ would burn me out or make me feel restricted to whatever I came up with in such a short amount of time (which is also why I can't really Make ocs or focus on all of em at once) but it's like with real persons, you get used to and learn more about them and grow closer to em the more you spend time with them...!

Over time just picking a scenario and reimagining it has helped more facts and tidbits and quirks and such come to light, along with plucking things from media that inspires me, or funny tumblr posts that remind me of him (or get the gears turning in my brain), even really exaggerated joke posts make my brain eager to apply the non-joke elements to him, as well as interesting personality traits I notice in other, real people! Or traits from myself! Flaws (physical and nonphysical!) Insecurities! Things that make up real people you may love!

-

I realize dis didn't really answer anything but again I don't really know T_T ive just made the one new involved oc this year, for the first time in many years. Ive been "developing" him since april and he's still not a "complete" character (+ maybe never will be) but i Do love and am proud of him. Thats another thing I think, it's Okay if you move on from your attempts. I've had ocs I was once focused on that haven't been seen or thought about in Years. Like who knows, Talon could be put back up on the brain shelf to collect dust in a few months. I think that's fine as long as you had fun with it! I hope you create something that Sticks, even for a little bit!

[sneakyboymerlin]

Babe you gotta tell me more about this racist blog and what happened bc I follow them and I didn’t see this (not saying it didn’t happen, I just can’t find it to see for myself) so I gotta know how bad it is

I really love their blog and I’m sad that they’re a piece of shit 😭

(Also if you don’t want this public just let me know and I’ll dm you so it stays private)

Summary of events is at the end, but here’s what happened. Things got pretty heated between us towards the end, but that’s just how it goes ig.

They now predictably have me blocked, so I can’t access the DMs or the post about this first incident. As for what happened on Tumblr, a while back, they made a greyscale gifset with Gwen in it, and someone (iirc this someone was indeed a poc, though I don’t remember who exactly) told them that it was whitewashed, and their response was more or less just “but I did high contrast, this is impossible to do, that has to be good enough!” I decided to DM them to say “Hey, here’s how you can do greyscale gifs without whitewashing, you should go back and fix those gifs” but was ultimately ignored to my knowledge. Other people who I’ve talked to about whitewashing in their works have actually gone back and changed them, so Idk what their deal was. They just. Didn’t wanna. I thought maybe they just didn’t see it or something but… nope.

Now, as for the other incident(s), which took place off of Tumblr… A year later or so, idk how much time passed, Queen Elizabeth II dies. You may have noticed my pinned post is about people sympathizing with colonizers instead of their victims. Well, that is actually pinned because of the situation this all stemmed from.

If you’re a merthur shipper, then I doubt you’re in the Non Merthur Server, the Discord where this all took place. You probably wouldn’t find anything unsubtle on their Tumblr that indicates how they actually are, but what they chose to say there completely obliterated any hope I had for them. I have a much longer post in my drafts about what happened, but it began because I said that we shouldn’t make excuses for a colonizer. Someone in the chat was doing this (I’ll discuss that more in another post), so me and another member (who left due to the way the situation was handled by the mods) immediately corrected this person on the queen’s various crimes/atrocities. This conversation somehow turned to how I stated (some days prior to the queen’s death) that I avoid reblogging off of a certain person because they have posted racist content in the past. That’s where Neednoggle comes in.

Neednoggle said that this was “controlling” behavior because I was “telling people who they can or can’t interact with.” Now, again, I was simply putting out a warning that the individual I mentioned had put out racist content before. I certainly expect people to take that into consideration once they know. But I didn’t expect anyone, especially someone who preaches about racism towards one of their favorite characters, to die on the hill of “umm but I have the first amendment RIGHT to reblog off of racists!” There’s a reason we don’t reblog off of homophobes, misogynists, TERFs, abusers, etc.. If you draw the line at racists… that’s a double standard, and frankly, it’s self-absorbed.

They then proceeded to bring up a different person who I avoid for different reasons as an example for why my very detailed explanation on the other user’s racism was unreliable. This example was an extremely bad faith interpretation. Basically, they said that I called someone transphobic for… being in favor of the fictional ban on magic. In truth, I called this person transphobic for the transphobia that was in their fics (namely jokes about how men can’t get pregnant/that being able to get pregnant is what determines man from woman). Because that fic author happens to also be anti-magic, neednoggle attributed my discomfort with these jokes to the magic thing. It was really odd ngl, since I have pretty openly stated that, while you can make comparisons between having magic and being queer, it is ultimately a metaphor for religious persecution. (It’s… The Old Religion.)

A friend of mine, a brown person from the global south who I will keep anonymous unless they permit otherwise, called out the sympathy that people were projecting onto the queen. However, this was not handled well in the chat, especially not by the mods who you’d expect better from. I don’t think that this friend’s perspective was really taken into consideration at the end of the day, it was like they were talking to a brick wall. I ended up making a strong statement that people don’t get to just opt out of learning anti-racism, and that was taken as offensive by… everyone.

Despite reading these messages from my friend (who is, again, a brown person from the global south) and myself, neednoggle’s concern was more about how I was censoring(?) them by stating that some people in the fandom are racist and that I avoid spreading their posts for this reason. They ditched the conversation and a day later I found them talking about how it sucks so much for them, a white person, that there’s not a lot of fanfiction about Elyan. Maybe that wouldn’t happen if you didn’t tolerate racism, thus alienating fans of color while coddling racists? And maybe, just maybe, you should care about racism outside of its impact on your own personal entertainment? Hence my statement that enjoying a character of color does not make one anti-racist. Anyone’s capable of racism, and you can’t use a character as a shield.

Anyways, I ended the conversation with: “either you have zero tolerance for racism or you do tolerate it” and was ignored, much like I was ignored with the whitewashing thing. Avoidance must be the bread and butter of people like this.

In addition, I believe they’re also guilty of this trope I see a lot where Merlin and Morgana or whatever white characters have to teach Gwen and Lancelot or whatever brown & black characters how to read/write, despite nothing in the canon suggesting that they couldn’t already. That said, I could be thinking of someone else’s fic, idk. I seriously see this a lot and I have no idea when it got so prevalent, but when put alongside everything else, it becomes pretty suspicious. I’m not entirely confident on this one so take it with a grain of salt, but I’m pretty sure I’ve read a fic of theirs like this, and it’s just… Gwen and Lancelot were already literate in the canon, so I find it weird that it’s usually those two in particular who get singled out, especially since 1) Merlin comes from a very similar background, 2) Lancelot was exchanging letters with him for as long as two years, and 3) Gwen helped run a whole smithy.

So, in summation (because this is rlly fuckin’ long) neednoggle chose to die on the hill of “You can’t make me NOT reblog off of racist people! Also I should just be allowed to ignore racism if it makes me as a white person uncomfortable!” and then tried to say that my perception of who is/isn’t racist is not reliable by undermining and misattributing my discomfort with someone’s transphobic jokes (just to be absolutely clear, I very much stated when it happened that it was the person’s transphobia that made them transphobic; however, defending Uther’s ban on magic—even if it’s only a fictional genocide—is pretty disturbing, just like when someone defends a fictional character’s abuse, bigotry, etc. How do you apply those morals across the board?). They and everyone involved in that conversation either ignored or missed the point of what my friend, someone who has been directly affected by colonization and racism, had to say about all of it. And of course, there’s the whitewashing thing, which I only just randomly remembered today ?!? And, possibly, the trope thing. Basically I tried to #fix them but they’ve gotta be willing to fix themself, ya know?

Personally, although I do tend to discuss these issues with people before coming to any conclusions, I think that blocking or avoiding a handful of people is worth not potentially spreading their bigoted beliefs, and I don’t really wanna be in kahoots with people like that anyways, so I guess it’s difficult for me to understand why they were defending tooth and nail their right to hypothetically reblog off of hypothetical racists. It sucks when it turns out someone you liked is doing this stuff, but we’ve gotta have some integrity, even if it’s not easy. Neednoggle doesn’t seem to have that integrity.

I have screenshots and the like too but I’m saving them for the Actual Post about all this so I don’t have to dig through them an extra time. It’s a lot

[utakoi]

Office Yandere HCs

Pairings: Assistant!Izuku Midoriya, Investor!Shoto Todoroki, Chauffeur!Hitoshi Shinso x Boss!Fem!reader

Summary: Ever wonder what it would be like to be the boss of some office yanderes and basically have a harem? Well, look no further, cause here it is!

Warnings: smut !!18+ ONLY!! (spunking in food + masturbation + dirty thoughts + oral), yandere themes (noncon)

A/N: Bc my brain kept me up at night with this concept and has made it’s final decision on turning a one shot I was in the middle of writing into a series, I decided to write some messy hcs to take a lil breather from long works (evn tho this is kinda long already). Also, if you think this is the last you’ll hear about office yanderes, no no no, I have some other thoughts for other characters

Assistant!Midoriya Izuku

He is over the moon to hold a position that’s the closest to you

Out of your entire yandere office harem, he gets to spend the most time with you

He also definitely has an advantage since he practically schedules your entire day

For example, Shoto constantly tries to schedule one-on-one meetings with you in the guise of it being a matter of business, but Izuku cock blocks him by filling your day with a bunch of other events in order to make the meetings as short as possible, and sometimes, even cuts them out completely

He doesn’t like doing it often tho since he knows you can get too stressed with too much going on so he reluctantly has to give away some time for you to meet with the other yanderes (he’s still kind of a sweet and considerate bby as a yandere)

Will not give you personal space

Stands close to you during meetings, constantly visits your office to work (even tho his personal office is right next to yours), etc etc

Even if you don’t ask him to, he will fetch your meals and give you snacks throughout the day because he wants to take care of you and show how sweet he is (also because he wants you to imagine how good of a boyfriend he’d be if you just gave him a chance)

Now let’s get to the part that just popped up into my mind and inspired this entire post: if he can hide his cum somewhere in your food, he will do it

That coffee he gave you that tasted a little salty? Izuku spunked inside it.

The sandwich he bought that seemed to have more mayo than usual? He spunked in that, too

Whatever you think doesn’t taste right, it’s definitely because of Izuku

// // // // //

Izuku is thankful for his job because of two specific things: he gets to interact with you for most of the day and his office has a built in personal bathroom.

If he were to be forced to use the regular employee restroom, his lewd acts would have been exposed immediately by anyone who happened to walk in; he was never the best at holding his moans and grunts while jacking himself off after all.

In the privacy of his own bathroom, he could be as loud as he wants with both his breathy, pleasure-ridden voice and the slick sounds of him stroking his lube-covered cock. In fact, he’s even trying to be as loud as possible. 

Since your office is right next to his, there’s a small chance that you may be able to hear him through the walls. He can visualize you entering his office, concern decorating your features, wondering what he could possibly be doing to make such noises. If you were to open his bathroom door, you’d be met by the sight of Izuku sitting on the lid of the toilet, his hand vigorously pumping up and down his shaft. 

And he wouldn’t stop.

He’d just keep going, all the while staring at you right in the eye. He wonders what you’d do then. Would you just stay frozen at your spot, being unable to take your eyes off of him? Or maybe you’d get on your knees, completely turned on and ready to have a taste of his cum? What if you were actually more dominant than he thought and you’d just dig your heels into his dick, punishing him for slacking off his job by not letting him find release?

Fuck, any of those scenarios would be fine by him. 

Unfortunately, as he gets close to reaching his peak, you don’t come into his office at all. That’s alright, though.

He’ll just settle with spunking into your coffee, for now.

Investor!Shoto Todoroki

Needs your attention

Like I said earlier, Shoto will keep trying to schedule meetings with you in the guise of it being a matter of business 

really, he just wants to spend time with you

During the meetings, he will also try to convince you to fire Izuku so that he can get rid of who he deems as someone deliberately keeping the two of you apart (which, for once, is a pretty spot on theory from Shoto)

Will try to spoil you with gifts and make excuses or pass it off as a casual thing so you don’t reject it or deem it as inappropriate for a workplace relationship

The beautiful bouquet of flowers? He was buying flowers for his mother on the way over and  the flower shop had a 2 for 1 deal so why not?

These gourmet chocolates? A fellow business partner of his gave him a box as thanks for his investment. Unfortunately, he’s allergic to one of the ingredients, but it would just be a waste to throw them out, no?

This exquisite diamond necklace? weLL-

You get the point (also, these gifts are definitely inspired by romance movies he saw his sister watching while growing up cuz oof he did not know any means of romance until he met you)

He aims to schedule his meetings with you around lunch time so that he has an excuse to treat you for lunch

He loves providing for you AKA he loves providing for you and showing off how he has the means to take care of you (much like Izuku)

If you were to become his wife, you wouldn’t have to work another day in your life

You can just stay at home and relax

Maybe you can even cook him breakfast and pack lunch for him before he works

That’s basically his dream

He wants you to stay home, waiting for your sweet husband to come back from work

Basically, he’ll take care of your every need, and he means EVERY need

// // // // //

It’s one of those nights again.

Shoto can’t sleep because he’s plagued by thoughts of you. Today, you weren’t able to meet him for lunch because you already had a flood of other appointments to attend (he was willing to bet his entire fortune that it’s because of your stupid assistant’s scheduling that you weren’t able to make it). 

So, needless to say, he was pent up. He can only hop that you fall in love with him sooner. Did his charms just not work on you? Do you not like the cool stoic type? Maybe he just wasn’t giving you the right gifts. Were they not expensive enough to impress you? Not expensive enough to show he could provide for you?

He knows he can take care of you so well. You would never have to work another day in your life. You can just stay home, surrounded by luxurious gifts and servants who’ll be at your beck and call while you wait for his return. 

And once he actually did come home after a long day of work? You’d be bathed in affection. Kisses, hugs, cuddles... and more.

You’d want him just as much as he wants you, right? 

His poor wife, lonely and deprived of the one person she loves for such long hours. He’s got to show that he’s sorry for neglecting you. 

Pushing you down onto the bed, he’d run his hands all over your body, massaging your shoulders, pinching your hardening nipples, brushing over your sensitive thighs... And since he’s also quite needy, he’d be grinding down his still-clothed cock on your pussy, showing off that he’s missed you, too.

Shoto doesn’t even think he’d have the patience to take off your clothes. He’d just keep dry humping you, desperate for his own release. The thin cloth preventing the both of you from making actual skin-on-skin contact would make such great friction. He can practically feel it now.

... And yup, the feeling was definitely not just from his imagination. Without even needing to glance down, Shoto already knows that his thoughts of you has caused him to pop a boner. 

Hopefully, a quick jerk off session can tire him out enough to fall asleep, but with how much his hard cock throbbed, he doubted it.

Chauffeur!Hitoshi Shinso

2nd most envied out of your office harem for his job (he’s right next to Izuku)

Why? Well 1 - he gets one on one time with you daily and 2 - that one on one time is him and you in an enclosed space

Sure, he may not get as much time with you as the others, but he sure makes the best use of it

He’ll be chatting you up, getting to know you personally in order to make the atmosphere less awkward between the two of you (tbh, because he gives off standoffish and cold vibes, y’all are gonna be kinda tense when he’s just gotten his job as a chauffeur)

and he does it so discreetly

He’ll start the conversation of lightly, talking about the weather, how busy you’re going to be that day...

and then somehow it just transitions onto friendlier and more personal topics such as your favorite places to eat, what hobbies you’ve been trying out lately, etc

And he uses that info to his advantage

If he senses that you’re feeling stressed or down, he will drive you over to your favorite places and remind you that you should relax

But not only does he get brownie points for that, but would you really be so mean as to make him wait for you while you eat a meal or walk around the mall when he’s the one who’s trying so hard to cheer you up?

Of course not, you’re going to invite him and thank him for considering how you’re feeling

And if not, well, that’s okay, too, he understands (so long as he gets his brownie points)

As the boss of your own company, you’d often be asked out to meetings or social gatherings that involve drinking

Shinso’s always there whenever you get shit faced, and happily so

You’re drunk and you’re not gonna remember it the next morning, anyway... so why would he waste such a golden opportunity?

// // // // //

Shit, you feel great on his body.

Currently, Shinso is living out one of the best moments of his life. He’d come to pick you up from a drinking session with some investors and was ecstatic to find you drunk out of your mind. Hell, you could barely even slur out your orders for him to drive you home. Now, you’re pressed up against him as he holds you up and guides you to the car. 

Testing out the waters, he cheekily squeezes the flesh of your ass. If you were conscious enough to reprimand him for it, then he could easily just apologize and pass it off as an accident since you were stumbling around so much. 

And if you didn’t mention anything... well then, that was the single indicator he needed to know that you wouldn’t remember anything once you woke up in the morning. 

To his delight, you barely reacted to his touch and even let out a high-pitched giggle at his actions. As quickly as he possibly could, he opens up the back of the limousine and pushes you inside. You plop down onto the seat with a huff, completely inebriated. 

You don’t even register when Shinso crawls in and nudges himself in between your legs. 

When the door slams shut, you flinch a little, prompting Shinso to massage your thighs in an attempt to soothe you. He gazes at you lovingly as you look down at him with your dilated pupils. Fuck, you look way too innocent and adorable for what he’s about to do. 

Quick with his hands, he pulls down your waistband and completely exposes your sex. Before diving into his meal, he places light kisses that trail from your calf all the way up to your thighs. He wishes he could leave marks on your skin, but he wouldn’t want you to panic the next morning when you see clusters of purple and blue spread out all over your legs. 

He eats you out like a man starved, slobbering all over your pussy. All the while, you’re making such cute noises for him. When you gush all over his face, he’s happily lapping it all up, trying not to waste a single drop. 

Once you’ve come down, he dresses you back up as if nothing happened, which, in your mind tomorrow, nothing did. 

Shinso hesitates when he’s about to slide the panties back onto you. Maybe he could get away with just a little souvenir?

[skyhawkstragedy]

Time to revisit my pre-season rankings bc I’m bored

(Replacing Marvin with Joseph)

01 | Taylor: I think my biggest fear with her was that she was going to be another Azah - talk a big game but while they’re an amazing person they’re not so much the best game player. However, she is the perfect example of Big Brother being about adaptability. For someone to start off the game as a social pariah and then work just enough to survive the next week all while keeping their integrity is an amazing feat. She probably has the most unique run when it comes to her social game; most winners would slip in to being manipulative and cutthroat, but Taylor stayed a lawful good till the bitter end.

02 | Joseph: Look at him being where Marvin was preseason 🤩 I put him in the bases tier but I wasn’t sure what to think of him other than he’s the guy I simp for throughout the season (kinda like a Brett or Travis type). Pooseph opened the door for him meme-wise and then he turned 25 and came out guns a-blazing. This is a MAN. I will fight every last person on here for him. This is a warning.

03 | Michael: Well he is right about where I put him pre-season 😂 He treaded between being boring and being a huge source of entertainment and watching him break records and win everything they gave him was astounding. Giving Maddie Ziegler vibes tbh.

04 | Turner: I did not expect to like this guy so much. So much more worthy of continuing the strength of the maknae line than Paloma. With him I saw… snafus. But I also saw someone who unapologetically acted his own age and took pride in being the youngest in the room. Thanks for proving me wrong and not being boring.

05 | Jasmine: I thought she was gonna be another Jessica and she ended up being another Raven 🙃 I don’t even know why she’s this high, I still think she’s extremely annoying, but I appreciate someone who’s dedicated to creating content. Thanks for the memes I guess.

06 | Brittany: And a crackhead she was indeed. I’m not entirely sure what makes her deserve this spot. She’s been up and down and she never had a game for me to fall back on when it came to her redemption, but her post-eviction actions push her past some others.

07 | Kyle: …huh.

I put him in his own tier bc I wasn’t sure where to put him. He didn’t annoy me immediately like Alyssa & Pooch but not without lack of trying! I think he has the weirdest run out of all the HGs. I grew to really like him and then he kissed Alyssa and Icarus flew way too close to the sun. Then he showed his ass and offended just about anyone who wasn’t white and it was over for him. If anything I do appreciate the discourse his stint in the game brought with him (both in regards to the Cookout and him being harassed/coerced by Alyssa).. I’m just wary of what’s going to happen to him post-season bc this is something that is going to linger with him forever. But if people can like Paul… there is hope.

08 | Ameerah: What a waste of potential. I’m still so angry. You were the chosen one, etc etc. I will say that my toxic trait is thinking she’s hot despite her being a flaming bitch. When it comes to the prejury though she is the lesser of five evils so that’s why she places as high as she does.

09 | Alyssa: Another surprise for me. From hating her for a good 7-8 weeks to being slightly tolerable towards the end. Taylor’s power. I think her best moments would be whenever she was with Taylor; they have unusually good chemistry (more than she does with Kyle if I’m being honest) and I think if she weren’t consumed with jealousy, they would have been unstoppable. Team First Kill indeed.

10 | Monte: I think similar to Alyssa he had 1-2 good weeks and then just devolved into an absolute Neanderthal towards the end. I had him as my winner’s pick and man did I end up dreading it. Thankfully the jury saw through him and gave the win to Taylor but I think I understand why he was my winner pick in the first place. During late pre-jury he seemed like a Jack of all trades. He had a decent social game, made the most of his first HOH, and proved to be an asset to the Leftovers. It’s just so sad that he chose incel behavior. Xavier was right; I would slap him on the back of the head and tell him to get himself together. Another batch of wasted potential.

11 | Indy: Another HG who had a few days of reprieved but was ultimately consumed by the plague of hate surrounding the house. I did appreciate that she let Kyle have it during his jury segment. That’s the Indy I wanted.

12 | Pooch: I didn’t expect him to move up from last place but it takes a special player to fuck up so bad that they become both relevant and irrelevant at the same time. I will say that his casting pic did NOT do him justice - his age was more believable on the feeds than in that picture.

13 | Paloma: The biggest disappointment here. People are going to take solace in the fact that she seemed like a Karen and that might have been her white side coming out but all in all her stint on the show was just tragic. If there’s one thing I am certain of though it’s that she should stay as far away from Daniel as possible. That guy is UNHINGED.

14 | Nicole: Thank god we had Joseph as AAPI/Middle Eastern representation otherwise I was gonna be convinced that casting was going to model minority the fuck out of Asians for the next few years. She’s just so aggressive and for what? She quit being a cop to be a chef and yet she still acts like she’s wearing that uniform and badge. It’s disturbing to say the least.

15 | Terrance: Gross. His obsession with vilifying Taylor and being insufferable with his comments about women just turned me off from him. Had one or two good moments but that’s not really enough is it?

16 | Daniel: Ugh. An absolute tool with anger issues and a serious obsession issue on top of that. Whoever casted him needs to be blacklisted from the industry.

[completeoveranalysis]

hey! idk if you remember but i'm the person who asked if i could send in my own thoughts on ashura like way back when you were first getting to the celes arc :] sorry this is gonna be long admittedly my thoughts on him have changed since then, i think i first regarded him as a well meaning person bc, when i was a teen i saw a post in defense of him saying ashura was probably the one who taught fai about kindness and smiles. which with all i know about faux positivity now is. yeah. that's a lot to unpack ashura's whole thing with morally dubiously manipulating people he has power over (which he shares with clow reed actually) i think first and foremost serves to explore clamp's favorite narrative ploy: what claims to be the conflict between the self vs the world is actually the conflict between people's individual will and how power dynamics play into it. people like ashura (both in rg veda and trc) and clow reed and a load of other villains in clamp's other works expend the power of their will to make changes that they believe are good, in ignorance of others' wishes. but at the same time his relationship to fai is something just. incredibly fucked up and is bound to invite personal reactions

i think ashura really did care, or at the very least he personally believed what he did was the right thing, enough to justify the harm that he knew he was causing. i think in addition to that, it can be inferred that because of his condition he never functioned in the realms of human morality.

another thing to consider is how clamp approaches writing abusive parental/mentor figures. when people explore this kind of trauma it's entirely within their right to not humanize those who abused them. but they may also choose to do the opposite, not to justify the harm that was done but to come to terms with it, see the bigger picture of cycles of abuse, or any meaning they might find in it. i think clamp tends to do the latter. i can't claim to know ohkawa's original intents but, because of my asian upbringing i'm pretty close to the communal way of life that affects how people approach these things; works i know of that employs similar approaches are fruits basket and umineko no naku koro ni and they did a fantastic job with it. within clamp's own works, an example can be found in x/1999 (i'm not sure how far you are into it so i'll just leave it at that).

like you pointed out during your liveblogging clamp clearly laid out the horrifying nature of ashura's manipulation. but at the same time they spare him empathy, it's what they tend to do with their characters (even though people perceive them on the surface to be obsessed with writing suffering and that's another pet peeve i have with clamp fandom jokes...) but (x2) as a reader anyone can have their own feelings and interps of it it and i think that's what's important.

at the end of the day ashura is just one truly fucked up little man. i think we can all agree on that.

Ohoho I do remember! And thank you for giving me your thoughts! They are DELICIOUS, and I absolutely agree with what you say here.

I do think that Ashura cared for Fai, and thought he was doing the right thing for Fai - and was also willing to do great harm to a great number of people to achieve his version of love.

And considering how dark and heavy the entire plot thread is, I like that CLAMP don't present us with a "final answer" for what we should think about the situation. It's a complex and nuanced scenario that absolutely invites deeper thought and reflection, so, let's do that!

But behind the cut, because of spoilers and content warnings and the like.

Just for clarity, the content warnings include emotional abuse, murder, and suicide.

Goodness, I've had a lot of time to reflect on Ashura.

The big thing with Ashura is that he only sees his own perspective. He doesn't see (or perhaps does not care) that what he's trying to do is utterly fucking up Fai in the process. Either his goal/his version of "caring for Fai" completely trumps Fai's own feelings, and this thought comforts him to the point of complete confidence in his actions, or it doesn't particularly matter to Ashura what Fai's emotional state is as long as the curse is broken.

Another big thing with Ashura is we know WHAT he was trying to do, in that he wanted to break Fai's curse and die in the process. But we don't know which of these two things was his original intention, and if it even matters. WAS he selflessly offering himself as tribute to free Fai from the curse, or was he using the curse as a way to free himself from his own dark existence? Was he breaking Fai's curse out of love, or out of a calculated goal? Is he just trying to accomplish this item despite what it will do to Fai, or is he doing this for Fai's sake, no matter what state it will leave him in? Is there even a distinction for Ashura?

The OTHER big thing about Ashura that really starts to sway this in a darker direction is that Evil Wolverine KNEW what killing this would do to Fai. He knew that there was an incredibly undeniably strong likelihood that Fai would immediately kill himself after having killed Ashura, so much so that Evil Wolverine banked on this happening from the very beginning. It was his plan from the start - that Ashura would manage to break the curse by getting Fai to kill him, and Fai would immediately die as a result of his heartbreak. So is Evil Wolverine knew this so easily, how did Ashura not see this coming? Or did he not care about this either? Was Ashura so set in his own correctness that he genuinely did not know Fai well enough to guess what this would do to him, when even Evil Wolverine knew? Or was that also beside the point for him?

Though I think this term has lost a lot of its meaning in recent years, Ashura is presented as beautifully Morally Grey. He does Bad Things to accomplish an ultimate Good Thing. He's doing a Good Thing but it will have a Bad Effect on the people that survive. There are so many varied ways to interpret Ashura's actions that defining them as "good" or "bad" ends up losing all meaning, and I feel that's the ultimate point. CLAMP present Ashura with such an intricate mix of positive and negative qualities that the morality scale doesn't properly encapsulate him whatsoever any more. If he's purely a villain, then how do we measure the loving home he gave to Fai, and how he gave him the longest period of happiness in a life that was purely traumatic suffering before then? How do we measure the idea that his good advice ended up causing life long emotional trauma to Fai and the people around him? And on the other hand, if his actions are "purely good" because he wanted a "good thing", how do we measure the fact that he slaughtered almost an entire world of living people to accomplish it? How do we measure the idea that he broke Fai's curse against the severe emotional fallout that would have caused Fai to kill himself?

There is no ultimate answer to Ashura. It all comes down to an individual reader's interpretation, what things ring truest to them, and what things that they choose to emphasise over the others. And that's how it should be! No two readers will have the EXACT same experience with any text, and the same goes for Tsubasa. The reader's feelings towards Ashura are entirely personal and individual, and by their very nature they will be correct for them, and not necessarily for anyone else.

And that's where I draw a little line about what I'm about to say and clarify that my interpretation of Ashura doesn't need to match anyone else's, and everyone SHOULD be able to judge him individually. But here's my very personal take!

For me personally, Ashura rings true as a depiction of... I don't even know the right combination of words for it. A selfish type of love - a well meaning but harmful love.

Because I do think Ashura cared for Fai, and had a good effect on him at times, and gave him a loving home when he needed it, but that's not the full picture. Ashura's love is a narcissistic type of love that puts HIS views of 'what is right for Fai' above anything Fai himself might feel, robs him of any choice or decision in the matter, and is willing to absolutely destroy Fai emotionally in order to get him to what Ashura sees is the 'correct' result. It's a type of situation that I relate a little too strongly to not have a biased opinion of Ashura -because I do feel like I've lived through a very Fai-like experience in my personal life over the last couple of years, so it's become impossible for me not to project my own experiences on to what Ashura does to Fai.

Even though Ashura meant for a good result, that does not mean his love was not abusive, and it doesn't mean he didn't deeply traumatise Fai in the process, and it doesn't mean Fai ever has to forgive him for what he did. Not that Fai has that chance, because Ashura robbed him of that too - but in real life things get a lot harder to navigate and understand, especially when you're still in the middle of it. Like Fai, you get stuck on some of the positives and think that the 'bad' things can't possibly be real, even while they poison you from the inside and drive you to a destruction that the other person is absolutely fine with because it will give them what they want. And even then, you want to be a "good person", especially if you define your self worth off of making other people happy, so you may find yourself wanting to forgive them, or feeling like you HAVE to forgive them. But you don't. You can choose these things for yourself. You can redefine your whole life and leave behind the people who treat you like Ashura does - even though it hurts you, and it hurts them, because they don't even see that they're doing anything wrong.

But at the end of the day YOU are worth more than anyone else's feelings - and this is what I absolutely ADORE about the way Kurogane treats Fai, because he has ALWAYS been about that from the very start. Kurogane shows us that Fai deserves to live, to be happy, to be safe, JUST because he's Fai, and for no other reason. And he does!

Kurogane's love for Fai has always had Fai's wellbeing as the priority. It causes friction between them in Acid Tokyo when they don't agree on what that means, and they don't always make the best decisions, but at the core Kurogane's love is selfless, nurturing, and protective.

Ashura's love for Fai always had Ashura's love for Fai as the priority. It hinges on what Ashura wants, and while it does have nice experiences for Fai along the way, Fai's thoughts, feelings, and decisions are not a factor that comes into play. This ultimately leads to a situation where Fai's mental distress, trauma, and ultimate suicide are not only on the table but practically guaranteed, if Evil Wolverine is to be believed. At its core, Ashura's love was love, but it was selfish, damaging, and destructive.

So that's my take on Ashura! I'm very happy for other people to have alternate takes on the situation, because that's the beautiful things about stories like this, and it doesn't even need a big thought process behind it. Some people can just like Ashura for no particular reason, because it matches their own experiences better, and that's completely ok!

But because this is my post Ashura is a piece of shit, and like you said, a fucked up little man.

[tsunderedoctor]

This might be an odd question but what are your thoughts on Luffy having ADHD and/or ASD (autism spectrum disorder? Or even just neurodivergent in general, honestly. I've shared my thoughts on it once or twice in OP spaces and sorta always get shot down. I even had one person say that he couldn't be autistic because he was smart and obviously didn't read my post bc the sad something along the lines of "just because he sounds like it in the dub doesn't mean he is" and I just. 😬

Btw, this is coming from someone who has ADHD and ASD so this could be me projecting onto a character that I really love 😅

-🐰

As someone who works in the ASD community, that's not okay, you can be extremely intelligent and be on the spectrum. Not the best example, but Sheldon from The Big Bang Theory is extremely intelligent and has ASD, another one would be Spencer Reed from Criminal Mines in my opinion.

Anyway, now let's look at Luffy from the criteria needed to be diagnosed with ASD (simplified version):

A: persistent deficits in social communication and social interaction across multiple contexts, as manifested by all of the following, currently or by history: 1. failure to have back and forth conversation 2. lacks eye contact and body language 3. failure in developing and maintaining relationships.

From these three we can see Luffy does not meet these criteria, but that doesn't mean he doesn't have his moments of being socially awkward (we all do), but he is able to make friends relatively well and keep strong bonds of emotional attachment.

B: restrictive, repetitive patterns of behavior, interests, or activities as manifested by two of the following: 1. repetitive movements (think stimming) 2. inflexible on change 3. abnormal interest in activities 4. hyper or hypo sensitive

In this category, I can say Luffy meets inflexibility to change and having abnormal interests in being a pirate.

C: Symptoms must present in early childhood

This is true, Luffy has had the above behaviors since childhood.

D: Symptoms cause clinical impairment in social, occupational, or other areas of functioning

The above does not cause impairment however on his social meter or other functioning skills.

E: Not explained by learning disability

So does he has Autism? I personally would say no, he doesn't meet the DSM-5 criteria. However, if you relate to him on that level, then he definitely can have ASD from your perspective!!

As for ADHD, let's look!

A: persistent pattern of inattention and/or hyperactivity as characterized by 1 and/or 2 1. Inattention with 6 or more of the following makes careless decisions difficult keeping focus does not listen when spoken to does not follow through with directions difficulty being organized dislikes tasks that require strong mental attention loses things easily distracted forgetful

2. Hyperactivity and Impulsiveness 6 or more of the following fidgets leaves seat or situation inappropriately Runs about or climbs inappropriately unable to play quietly on the go acting as if driven by a motor talks a lot blurts out answers waiting turn interrupts others

B: present before age 12

C: Behavior is present in more than one setting

D: interferes with everyday functioning

E: not caused by schizophrenia or another mental disorder

The last one is questionable because I believe Luffy does have PTSD and these symptoms can be considered similar

Does Luffy have ADHD? In my opinion, yes!

Hope this helps!! 💖