#hypergamous advice

[lilly-onthevalley]

Dark skin & Blonde/Bronde/Brown

Responding to one of my DMs on the conversation of being black and experimenting with hair colour. There's so much apprehension and lack of exploration of the topic of hair lightening in the black community. There's a popular misconception that lightening your hair is an attempt at whiteness and I want to explore that and shed light on my point of view.

Faces are faces. Unfortunately, I cannot find many pictures of black women to explain this thread and my relationship with my hair.

To start of I've been a hair specialist for years and raised in a family of women who have strong long hair. My sister is naturally almost ginger and very Sub Saharan african and opened the topic of hair colour for me as she noticed it didn't naturally suit her. I began to think of the possibility of exploring as well.

My hair is naturally jet black, with no brown tones in the sun. I took lots of pride in it as every stylist I went to was bewildered at the naturally dark colour, but my face didn't really catch on to the dark themes. I have low contrast at face value, barely any eyebrows, sparce light looking eyelashes, barely 2 toned lips, the black was always a bit jarring and I compensated by cutting it short and making myself follow a bit of an artsy bob moment.

Recently, I came at a milestone in my life, and all the girls around me were discovering new beauty beyond what was naturally there for 2025. Justine Skye, the Victoria's secret resurface and Beyonces' new look, marked a bit of a change in everyone. One of my intern mates, Sarah, took the first blonde highlight leap, and I was shocked at the way it elevated her look.

Controversial take here, but my white girlies have been in the know about the power of hair brightening and the way a new colour can soften the face, increase the perception of femininity, and draw attention to the eyes instead of everything else. I decided to dabble cause why not. I have disassociated myself from the political and embrace what benefits me. My hair, it's straightening or bleaching, is a response to my odd features and facial structure, and navigating this change is navigating what suits me as an individual beyond race. Now to the reasons.

Environment

No one in my area is experimenting. My sister and I have always been the first on the topic of piercings, pearls, clip ins, tape ins, silk, colour analysis, kibble body theory, Keratin treatments, foreign fragrance, wig customisation and of course, hair dying. There is a lack of variation and very strict stereotyping when it comes to the look expected for a "good" black woman. The long skirts, the mom jeans, no lipstick, no colour, the hypocrisy behind choosing only either natural hair or full bust down.

I remember a telling conversation between one of my high school friends over a coffee on the balcony. She expressed her distress over wanting to change, wanting to express her fashion but being too shy about judgement and I loved to hear that another felt the same way.

To sum it up, you stand out in a way that is extremely beautiful. I like to refer to it as entering a more international and free beauty standard.

The girls in my time in Dubai did this. They loved their blonde on deep, deep tan. They loved their purple toned lip glosses, their monochrome outfits, heavy perfumes, and looked absolutely stunning in a way that's otherworldly. My choice is a sort of defiance and a signal that I'm a free woman no matter where I go. I'm shameless to the hoteps who inforce that they prefer natural women, and I express the maximum extent of my beauty which may make the religious women back home shudder in disapproval. I manage to peak the interest of many who have never seen an experimental woman in my area.

Aesthetic

I'm hyper feminine in my styling. I don't own dark jeans, I rarely wear black, I wear heeled sandles or platforms, all my jewellery is pearl, diamond, diamanté and bright silver which I regularly get shined. I can never appear underdressed if I tried, I pin curl my hair, I always have blow outs because my hair is relaxed and I always have it styled naturally as I have to do, so it doesn't dry like a noodle dread lock. The light hair matches my light clothing and general aesthetic.

My most recent inspos are on tiktok @fiilipppaaaaa and @zarajanice (zaargoedemans). Their style is girly, soft, and is actually doable with my wardrobe. I love the scandi hairline. The Scandinavian style and the like and colourful hair just adds the oomf to the entire vibe that I adore. My dark hair could never do what my lighter hair does for me.

Style and hair collage of both of them for inspo

Makeup and Facial composition

Low contrast is defined by a situation whereby your features and skin tone blend together.

I had a crux. My face was as my family loves to call it, "homogeneous". Like I've pointed out, barely any eyebrows and lashes, not because they aren't there (my eyebrows aren't) but they can't compete with my jet hair making me look like a bald rat, well a cute bald rat because I can make it work with some makeup. What would happen is the darkness in my hair would pick up on my hyperpigmentation because that was the second thing darkest or me. Acne scars, cheekbone sunburn, medication induced psoriasis, dark lip corners.

It's why I loved powder foundations cause they would brighten these areas FAST to make up for their prominence. These days, I can get away with light coverage, my contour isn't jarring, and I can be artistic with my eyes and make them dark. My eyes are my best feature, almond and upturned. With my hair lightened, I can draw colour focus to them without competing with my hyperpigmentation, hair, or sunburn.

I actually noticed this technique with a lot of models and actresses who chemically lighten their hair and I absolutely adore it and lo and behold, it works no matter what race you are (😱).

It's this sultry eye with a natural base with not much else going on. The eyes are the star, and the hair is pushed into being an accessory. In real life, this combination is enchanting. As someone who makes solid eye contact, I love the reactions from people. My best man, Mr Levant, couldn't even look me into the eye without getting nervous and going red after the first time seeing me with the hair and the makeup.

Products I use for this look in specific on a casual day

L'Oréal 24hr Matte Foundation (super solid affordable everyday base)

Juvias Place Concealer (very thick and blends like a dream)

Morphe Dimension Effect Contour Stick

L'Oréal Infallible More than Concealer in Truffle (for a Bronzy warm liquid contour)

AOA studio perfect Setting powder

MAC Burnt Pepper Blush Matte (love this, when your skin begins to mix with the makeup, it has this stunning natural reaction as it settles, which makes it look gorgeous in a way I can't even describe! )

Technic Colour Fix Blush Pallete (the rouge-st shade)

Morphe Blue You Away Pallete (Shimmers and Dark Brown)

Vaseline + NYX butter gloss + a dab of Fruit Snackz Fenty Gloss + Rum Rasin Revlon Lipstick

4 different mascaras, 2 - I could honestly not tell you, I love a cheap watery mascara, they beat every name brand. The next 2 are Maybelline Collosal and Esteé Lauder Extreme Sumptuous Multiplying Volume

Wet and Wild Liquid Waterproof eyeliner (truly waterproof, it survived the tears from the funeral of my childhood 16 year old dog 💔 )

Charlotte Tilbury Airbrush Flawless Setting Spray (best in the game)

The entire look gives Party Girl Next Door with the combination of lots of rosy blush and lush dark eyelashes. That's what I'm going for, I'm sweet, girly but still a bit interesting and modern. It works well for me! Lots of success with this look.

This is hopefully going to be paired with my upcoming dainty pearl and diamanté earrings I'm getting soon, which are like the icing on a cake. I try to make this look a bit edgy and unique, but I know I'll just end up giving hyper ditsy, sorority girl, but that's ok, I guess. Whatever gets the job done and is fun in the process.

For the hypergamy concerned girlies, here are examples of some black women who were able to marry well while still enjoying a lighter hair colour. I have met many in my personal life. It tends to go well with the feminine style and presentation. The normal black woman is also having success no matter her hair. I am always hypergamous and social, and I know my territory, type, and trajectory, and this might have also fueled part of my decision (😊). I love all these women!

Top: Zoe Saldãna, Meghan Markle

Middle: Serena Williams, Dambisa Moyo

Botton: Iman Bowie, Emma Thynn Marchioness of Bath

⭐️

[richarlotte]

Tuesday’s Wisdom.

[rihnely]

[hypergamiss]

I get it, women take a lot more accountability than men (imo) because society is currently set up this way. Women fill up churches, support groups, therapy, they’re purchasing more self-help books and literature than men, and there are a million pages on social media dedicated to women bettering themselves while there are barely any for men. Overall, anything related to self improvement and reflection is dominated by women. Socially and culturally speaking most parents hold their daughter more accountable than their sons. That’s why a 15 year old boy can be out galavanting late with his friends but a 20 year old woman has a strict curfew.

At some point you have to realize (as a woman) that you automatically deserve more from life and the partner that you choose because it is your birth right (imo).

Just because the majority of men are not decent humans, doesn’t mean you have to settle.

And just because you’re constantly being groomed by society to improve as a woman doesn’t mean that something is wrong with you or that you’re not good enough every time a man doesn’t know how to act right.

Lift your head high and accept the power that you hold. Stop questioning yourself every two seconds and accept that men can often do wrong. Be confident.

[femmefatalevibe]

Femme Fatale Guide: How To Build Unshakeable Self-Confidence

Here are some practical, no-frills mindset reframes to help you begin cultivating higher, healthy self-esteem. Consider these tips the building blocks of enduring, self-confidence. Save & share to engage in some self-love and help yourself (& others) feel your best xx

Remember Your Self-Perception is Magnetic

Discover What You Love About Yourself

Invest In Your Appearance & Social Skills

Remember You're Irreplaceable

Remember Your Self-Perception is Magnetic: Others will perceive you similarly to the way you perceive yourself. In other words, you need to tell yourself that you're a confident woman and the hottest, the most well-spoken woman in the room at all times. While it will still take some practice to maintain good posture and conversation, changing your mindset is the first (and most important) step to overcoming this confidence roadblock. Discover What You Love About Yourself: Consider your talents, skill sets, unique personality traits, appearance, sense of style, etc. Write out a list of the qualities you love about yourself. These characteristics can range from a great sense of humor and understanding subtext to a knack for mental math, cooking, or styling an outfit. Remember the valuable qualities that you bring to the table. While we're all of inherent worth, a regular reminder of our special talents can boost our confidence and make us feel more competent in different life areas/situations. Keep this list visible and read it over at least once a day until you internalize this unbreakable sense of confidence in your capabilities. Invest In Your Appearance & Social Skills: Life is about growth, progress, and personal development. So, one of the most practical ways to level up is to be more mindful of how you put yourself together daily and present yourself to others. Always ensure you look clean and polished with freshly-washed hair, manicured nails, and wrinkle-free outfits. Refine your personal aesthetic, beauty routine, and signature scent. Learn how to hold your head up high, your shoulders back, and maintain direct eye contact. Control your emotions, embrace a sense of humor, tact, and smile when appropriate. You will gain respect and instantly become magnetic. Remember You're Irreplaceable: Uniqueness makes the world go round, so always remember that you offer certain qualities and talents that add value and make others feel special. Internalize this truth and allow these gifts to be shown. You're worth it.

Build upon these mindset shifts & fully embrace your self-confidence journey with my guide: How To Cultivate Self-Love & Boost Self-Esteem. Hope this helps xx

[sortagolddigger]

Learn to recognize when you can do better.

If he makes you feel guilty for wanting to be taken care of, you deserve better. Since the 1700’s women have only survived because they chose men who were capable of providing and protecting

Don’t let these new age dusties gaslight you into accepting the poverty love they offer

[blissfullyecho]

What do you do for work and whats your advice on becoming better in your work life?

Leveling Up In Business & Career ——

I worked in healthcare for the last 2 years and decided I wanted flexibility and more opportunity. I’m in luxury real estate and yacht sales, but I have a few strategic investments that keep my money working while I focus on building my career. My career is all about creating a life that most people can only dream of—and I’m just getting started (I’m about 8 months into it). I don’t settle for mediocrity, and you shouldn’t either. If you’re not aiming for the top, what’s the point?

Here’s my advice: become obsessed with being the best at what you do. In luxury real estate and yacht sales, you’re not just selling properties or boats; you’re selling an entire lifestyle—the lifestyle. If you can’t match the level of excellence your clients are seeking, then you’re already losing. People buy from the person who embodies what they want, so become that person. Your energy has to reflect the caliber of the product you’re offering. Let’s say you’re a doctor or a nurse: sorry but I’m not going to take my health seriously if my doctor or my nurse looks like they don’t take care of themselves. No matter the job or career you have, you have to match the ultimate goal of the client or customer you have. The problem is: you can’t fake it. You have to be authentic because people can sniff out fakeness and imposter syndrome quicker than ever these days.

When it comes to your career, don’t wait for opportunities to find you—create them. Every day is a chance to outwork everyone else. Work smarter and harder than anyone in the room. Stay focused, stay sharp, and always push yourself to be better than you were yesterday. Don’t be afraid to stand out. If you’re not standing out, you’re blending in—and I’m sure you didn’t get into this to be average.

And, finally, confidence is everything. Own what you do, and be unapologetic about it. You deserve success, so start acting like it. Never let anyone make you feel like you don’t belong in the room with the most powerful people in the world. You’re already at the top—you just have to keep reminding the world of it.

[multiverselovegoddess]

some of my favorite archived stripperweb posts - hustle hut (pt. 1)

💗The full archived version of Stripperweb can be viewed here💗

I'm going to make this a series in order to help sw'ers, especially those who may not have been around to experience Stripperweb. I'm also kick-starting this series with some of my favorite posts/threads from the Hustle Hut forum so we can all make some fat stacks! Reblog to fatten a hot girl's wallet tonite!!! 💰🤑💰🤑💰

Law of Attraction and Me being a Money Magnet

Putting customers into a trance & hypnotizing them

$2000/night advanced hustle tips

I've been giving men too much credit

Selling champagne rooms 101

Exteeeeend VIP

Helpful things

When they ask what you do in the VIP room

Selling more than a few dances

The Greedy Stripper/Spoiled Princess Hustle

Ice Queen Hustle

Trophy Wife Hustle

Being an Aggressive Money Maker

How to compete and make money in a club with heavy extras

Read this if you find it hard to believe you are worth large amounts of cash

Making the most of your time at the club

How high earners do it

That "one girl"

Hustling at a twerking club

Casting a Wide Net + Other Secrets

[femininedating]

Feminine Dating Tip:

Only date men you CAN DEPEND ON.

This means you can depend on him to provide the basic necessities/bills.

Not that he is your only source of income or that you have no savings or wealth.

[withloveheart]

One of the best things I learned was that it was never too late to start over.

I've heard this being said before but it never really clicked until I met someone who embodied it fully and unapologetically. My Palestinian neighbors had a relative who I had always looked up to when I was in high school. She was smart, funny, loving, and most importantly knew her worth. Her worth wasn't spoken about. Never had I heard her utter things like "I'm confident" or "I know my worth" or anything else along those lines. However, she did embody it.

When I was in high school she was being courted by a man who seemed to adore her and shower her with love. From the outside looking in, he seemed enamored with her. At some point, she accepts to being his wife. They have a lovely engagement party. The wedding was going to be even better. So, imagine my surprise, and many others, when on the day of the wedding, as people are getting ready and making their way to the venue, the entire thing is called off. Money was already put in. Money they couldn't get back. The reason for calling off the wedding? This man began to insult her and make some interesting remarks and as a result she decided she wasn't going through the wedding. I don't know what was said but I do know her family made it clear that she should've worked it out rather than just leave especially on the actual wedding day. After all, what would people think? For those who don't know, plenty of Middle Eastern and North African cultures would view this as an issue. And I personally know many women who have had deep regrets over their marriage but were too worried about the stigma of canceling the wedding when it was so close and the potential of being seen as difficult or spoiled. Of course, this wasn't everyone but a good majority.

Seeing this very statement of "never too late to start over" be embodied by someone wholeheartedly really altered my perspective when I was younger. I also got to see first hand the strength it requires to start over while everyone around you is judging your very decision. Thanks to her I grew up with a solid example to follow and have tried my best to have this attitude with everything in my life. Personally, it has paid off well.

[lilly-onthevalley]

Tips for my girlies in university and early work

I decided to make this post based on what has made my life easier these past few years. Every woman wants to cultivate beauty; make themselves put together, be taken seriously, and find a partner who is equally yoked if you're into that. As an old tumblr girl shifting in and out of the scene, I wanted to make another tip post like the old times that's accurate to what helped me.

A lot of the older/retired girlie's where amazing advisors, however one thing that created a barrier was that they were were endowed with large wealth and their society paved a path for them, and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that, I love to see it actually. I wanted to make a post looking back to what has helped me make my own steps to now be able to utilise the old girl's advice as it was supposed to.

Hair

Learning a basic blow out is necessary. If you're starting out, you don't need all of the fancy brands, and you'll notice that technique is what differentiates the quality of a blowout. Get a good round brush that conducts heat well, mid range but reliable (Babyliss) blow driers, flat irons, and curling rod. Invest in a heat protectant too. Sweet talk the hair dressers and ask where they get their stock from. Get yours hands on some pro hair sheers to get your own trims and layers going.

Silk scrunchies and pillow cases are an underrated and feminine must-have. I'm a lazy girl who always has a silk press if my hair is out and I can get away with collapsing onto a silk pillowcase with no head wrap and still manage to have a lovely style in the morning. I would say order these from a small business. Many girls have businesses dealing with small textile projects like scrunchie packs and average size pillow cases, support them! :)

Learn to do your own cornrows and invest in a half wig especially if you're busy with classes and don't have time for the whole round brush ordeal.

Don't be scared of wigs, and don't be ashamed of not having enough time to pull off a dazzling natural masterpiece. There's a reason why wigs are in high demand from women of all races. People are all over busy. You can start with a natural synthetic and move on to better hair.

I learnt the art of hair when I was 15, so I've been doing it for a while. However, because of this, I can tell you the importance of having a lovely crown on your head. I have received hundreds (not joking) of compliments from years, whether my hair was real or fake, and that shows how important it is for a first impression.

Nails/Feet

Don't forget to take care of them. Walking all the miles, wearing the mandated courts, sitting in one place. You will indeed develop calluses, perhaps even athletes' foot and hyperpigmentation from a lack of circulation.

Get yourself a basic pumice stone or a scrubber and use them when need. Massage yourself as well to maintain mobility and flexibility.

If you can, get yourself an affordable gel set. It might seem a bit expensive, but it'll save you the time and money of the upwardly costly nail appointments. You'll find out when you get up and socialise more that what tops the cake of classy is a glossy basic nail. Natural nudes and whites are always a go to.

Scent

Scent connoisseurs are going to absolutely hate me for this, but girlie's, if you can't get that Jean Paul Gaultier or Baccarat Rouge, get the damn arabic fragrance. Back in high-school when me and my girls were starting up, setting ourselves apart and getting invited to important places, Lattafa was our favourite. Social media is currently finally going crazy for them. (The African/Arab girls got them first 🤭.) I loved my floral Haayati with a mix of Zakra (other brand, heavy masculine oud tones for my peace of mind), and my best girl loved her gourmand Yara and her vanilla oils.

I love to talk about fragrance because it talks first for you. Nothing is better than a delicious light smell accompanying your presence. It shows you hold yourself to some esteem.

Skin

Face Essentials - gua sha stone, gentle cleanser, exfoliating cleanser or serum, sunscreen, thick moisturising butter, anti fungal or bacterial essential oil, lip moisturiser, clean cloth.

These will help you start out on a basic level to having healthy looking skin. Exfoliating is very important towards a glow. When you're stuck working with a bright light in your face, soaking up the harsh morning air full of car exhaust, sweating as the hours go by - what will make the difference is making sure that you get rid of that excess dead skin every 3-7 days.

Gua sha is amazing for getting rid of the stress if you clench your jaw during moments of stress. Say you have to present an assignment or address and debate a crowd, that takes a tole on the jaw and the facial muscles. Using a gua sha is great for ironing those knots and that tension out.

On the topic of massage, spas can be unaffordable at times, time is could also be a problem. Get into a habit of using every minute you have. That 5 minutes that you sit and doom scroll on tik tok, take out a wood tool, grab a moisturiser, and press those muscles to release built-up tension. Taking care of the vehicle you have is so important. Your body and mind are separate but complimentary. Take care of her, and she will take care of you. Don't forget that every second, she's pumping the blood that facilitates your social meetings and work hours.

When it comes to body, get yourself exfoliating mits or an abrasive rag. Once again, exfoliation, exfoliation, exfoliating. It's great for blood flow and circulation as well as moving your muscles and tissues that may be constantly seditary from a desk.

Dry brushing is something I also swear by. Once again, absolutely wonderful for circulation and waking the skin up.

Get yourself a foam roller... I press such an emphasis on these tools that stimulate the muscles because we often forget how much our bodies are taking multiple hits from working. Joint issues are something that's prevalent when you're a working girl, coming straight out of high-school and going into the world outside the home of your care taker. Roll those legs out, release that back into the grooves. It makes a world of difference!

Clothing

I loved to dress like a blank canvas back in my early days when I decided I want to make something of myself. Nothing beats good denim pants and a white t-shirt. Especially when you're starting out and want to begin establishing outfits for everyday, you'll notice the blank canvas approach will prevent you from looking crazy on crazy days. Stock up on 3 white tees, white and blue jeans, yoga pants, well fitting good quality skin tone lingerie, a belt, a watch, some fake pearls, black or white dress, a ring and a necklace and my all time favourite, a pair of shades.

Ugh, I can't get enough of combinations like this. I grew up and was educated by women who followed this but fancied it up with a bold Goyard St Louis, a 3 stone engagement ring with a gold band, a local pure and heavy polished silver bracelet and some Loro Pianas. Absolutely gorgeous women, who knew how to constantly present themselves as nothing less than reliable, stylish and beautiful.

You might say that, 'Omg Lilly, that's so boring', that's not the point here 😂. As a green girl with a good head on your shoulders, you're going to get a lot of new opportunities. Whether it's internships, parties, socials with the girls or the guys, dates, fund raisers, club representative workshops, you're going to be expected to show up well and put together. Say you have a social evening at a club house, in the morning you have an internship and the next day you have to manage and represent your society. Those 3 white shirts paired with a rotation of basic bottoms and versatile shoes will make things a lot easier for you especially if you're starting out in a foreign country where you don't know what is to be worn exactly.

Makeup

Those who have known me are well aware that I'm a retired goth girl and was killing it with the cut crease and James Charles tutorials back in the day. Makeup is something that has seamlessly became part of my life. Unfortunately or fortunately, I grew out of that creative phase and started wondering what actually makes my natural features and face pop. What presents me as healthy, bright, and hyper-feminine (in contrast to the basic clothing)

I came up with the recipe of 'Biology' makeup. Blush because it signifies healthy blood flow and interest in the person you're interacting with. Healthy full eyebrows, non-matte evenly toned skin with naturally bronzed dimensions. A healthy hydrated pink lip. Some extras are a little liner to enhance the eye, flirty lashes from carefully applied mascara and/or lashes and some depth and glitter to draw attention at the eyes.

Very basic, very safe, very attractive, very reliable. This is a routine that can be executed within 8 minutes.

Moisturiser -> sunscreen base -> full coverage foundation or concealer watered down with sunscreen to make it more glowy and allow the natural dimensions of the face to peer through->bronzer/darker powder-> semi heavy blush combined with some loose banana powder to calm down the concelar-> light wing-> lashes-> wipe the lips and eyebrows-> fill both in and end with a natural colour applied to both.

Inspo below

E.T.C

Other important notes:

Yoga, cardio and pilates to maintain mobility, lubricate those joints, crack those bones back into place. Sweat is amazing to get those toxins, lose a bit of unnecessary weight, blow off steam, improve skin health, get your blood pumping and much more.

Save your money, all these things are meant to make life simpler for you so you are in a place where you are investing into things that are truly important like rent, food, tuition, remittances, dental work, medical aid, insurance, etc till you have someone who could assist with that :)

Remember to keep a balanced diet. Oh lord, when I went out to a new country, thank god I was young, but I became close friends with the local McDonald's and knew all of the door dash delivery men by name. Please, for the love of God, buy your fresh food and meal prep. The temptation is so real after a long night, to drop a bunch of pounds or euros on a quarter pounder and some zinger wings but it will not nourish you to survive another active day with decent cognition and drive. Especially if you were living alone and stressing out about making your own path, don't feed the delivery demon. You'll lose useful money, and mess your hormones up.

Instead to reward yourself, buy your place some flowers. If you want to eat go to a restaurant which serves whole food. Buy some new fancy stationery, party, get a spa or cosmetic treatment that you've been wanting, travel or take a train to somewhere scenic! Perhaps I'm too harsh but addiction to quick fixes is real when you first drop into a state of independence whether it's financially or physically. Don't abuse it by splurging. Understand moderation through strict monitoring then after a while, go get that Wingstop or whatever after knowing how to access real food and that it's an affordable and doable option first! (me and my guy friends literally never ate any real food for a month straight while gallivanting in Europe because we were so codependent on Taco Bell and used our lack of knowledge of the city as an excuse to take the easy way out 🤣.)

If you can do something really well, make a mini business out of it.

Network, network, network. Ask questions, ask for opportunities, get numbers and business cards.

Self defense starter kit (Google it according to the laws of your nation)

Lastly, make friends, call family, volunteer at an animal shelter every now and then to remind you of what love is 😂 because in the fast paced assimilation into new environments, you do forget and only notice when suddenly you're sadder than usual, and have anxiety during basic interactions.

⭐️

[richarlotte]

one of the most important videos I’ve seen this year.

[hypergamiss]

Reason #2 why I love men. When you come across a man who was raised really well. They just get it. They open your door, they cover the tab, they send you a car/driver, they send flowers, they are self-aware, they make sure your taken care of, they make you feel safe, etc.

[caviarproject]

Work so hard that peoples biggest flex is that they used to know you.

[sortagolddigger]

Always remember it’s not about being head over heels in love, that’s how you get hurt and walked on.

It’s about how he treats you and does he make you feel safe asking for things.

Is he a provider that fits your life goals?

That’s your man.

I’m not saying date an ugly man, I am saying date a man you don’t mind growing old with because he makes you feel safe and pays the bills