#high functioning depression

[feralboo-the-weirdo]

You know what is just mind boggling? Neurotypical people exist. Like there are people who can just DO things and not have depression, anxiety (in every form ever), RSD, sensory overloads, and not get overwhelmed. Like there are people who can work for eight hours every day and still do things after. People who can make phone calls with no struggle. Who aren't constantly bombarded by a cacophony of thoughts both good and bad when they do things. Who have anxiety but it isn't crippling. who can spend hours, WEEKS with people and not get tired or fear that everyone there hates you. People who have no idea what Depression or intense trauma feel like. People who hear instructions and do it right first go. People who can follow a conversation without zoning out, or having to mask.

Like. Do neurotypical people actually exist?

Because I can't even imagine what it would be like to be neurotypical. Or mentally healthy. Both sound alien and foren. But like. Obviously they exist because neurodivergent people wouldn't struggle so much if not for how the world was structured for Neurotypical people but I don't know if I've ever met a neurotypical.

idk. food for thought I guess.

[roselunde]

Does anyone else have mild psychotic and mood symptoms but not enough to feel valid?

I get paranoid and have unusual perceptual experiences, but not hallucinations. I withdraw from time to time but I'm still sociable. I get restless and sometimes make risky decisions but I always rein myself in. I might sleep for 13 hours and hardly manage the bare minimum for months but I'm still kind of okay. I talk to myself almost all day to keep myself company but only in whispers when no one is listening. I get weird thoughts and think in strange loops and paradoxes for hours straight but I am always aware that it's all nonsense.

Therapists tell me how self-aware I am. Friends consider me the voice of reason. I'm playing a role that doesn't fit my internal reality. And I wish I could just do something crazy to show people I'm not normal.

Of course I won't. I don't mean doing anything dangerous or harmful. For example, I have been open a few times about my bizarre thoughts with my friends. But I don't want people to stop trusting me, or impose their will on me because they think I can't make decisions for myself. So I end up managing on my own, internalising it all, with no one to compare myself to in order to know how normal my experiences even are.

[cryinginmyroomsposts]

the tragically beautiful pipeline from high-functioning child to burnt-out adult with a laundry pile of hobbies itching to be cleaned and used again but the adult is just too exhausted to do anything more than pick them up from the pile to check if they are dirty enough only to find out... they always will be dirty now that the adult has lost the bandwidth to do laundry

[studynxiety]

06 July, 2025 Sunday 15:00

One of the hardest things to accept in life is that progress is not linear.

A week ago, I had the best day of my life. So many of the people I love and cherish showed up for my birthday, and we had an imperfectly perfect day - the kind where everything that could go wrong but went wrong but we could laugh about it over cheap beer and reheated left overs because the company was good and the conversation was smooth. We lingered at my friend's dorm till midnight because none of us wanted the night to end. I love my people.

Inevitably, all banquets must come to an end. And the after was a slow creep of dread for me. I got a lot of thoughtful gifts. I think nothing breaks you more than being truly loved. I have spent years being the only one who shows up for me, and suddenly having people who remember my throwaway comments, who are intentional and put effort for me, is as terrifying as it is beautiful.

So, naturally, the entire week after, I fell into a depressive spiral. My closest friends from back home forgot about my birthday - they didn't intend to, I know I was on their calendar, they thought about me but did not remember to wish me. In some ways, the disappointment cut deeper because of the contrast I was provided with.

I don't know. It wasn’t just that. I think university is just very hard sometimes. Nothing feels real. I feel like a ghost. So much happens so fast, and I am left grappling with what is real and what is in my head. This is especially true with friends from back home because I haven't seen them in a year now. Were we really good friends, or was it in my head? (We were, we were. There is pictures, the presents from when I left, the early morning calls they picked up without hesitation despite the time difference when I told them I was struggling.) Sometimes, it's hard to perceive reality.

I think some of my destrictive habits caught up too. I pushed myself too hard and got sick. Then, before I could heal, I did emotional drinking and got sick again. So, I have been alternating between sleeping and convincing myself it's okay if I eat even if I haven’t done anything to deserve it.

Tomorrow is the beginning of a new week. I'll welcome the new year of my life in earnest, count my blessings, and maybe even let myself believe I deserve good things.

Today, I'll lay the groundwork for it. Clean the house, clean my room. Make a schedule, call my siblings to tell them I love them. They will cringe, so will I. But it'll be okay.

[crazedmadscientist]

Currently, the only things keeping me alive rn is food and delulu (fanfics, writing, media, fiction). Oh, and daydreaming

[mariposas8494]

High Functioning Bipolar Disorder is HARD AF 😵‍💫🤦🏻‍♀️😭

[the-ellia-west]

I love how people are like: AUTISM ISN'T A DISABILITY, WE'RE JUST DIFFERENT!

Like yeah, okay. I may not be diagnosed but my friends (most of whom ARE diagnosed) and I agree I fit most if not all the DSM 5 criteria and yes, it is a disability. It makes me sensitive, and stops me from doing things that would be easy to do if my brain didn't function this way.

It makes my life harder, I get hyperactive and my emotions are volatile and I've never been able to keep a friend beyond four years.

It makes my life HARD, and saying it's not a disability is frankly, not only unhelpful, but invalidating, and in a way, is indeed Ableist. It's not a different ability, it's a disability. Call it what it fucking is.

I don't want to be told that I don't have a disability, I'm just not 'trying hard enough'. Because that's one of the things that makes having this disability so shitty sometimes.

It doesn't make us incapable, and we don't need to be treated like it. We need to be treated like real human beings, with real wants and needs, who struggle in real and not very unusual ways.

I don't want to conform. I don't want to have to TRY HARDER just to succeed. I have Autism. I have anxiety. I'm depressed. I am disabled. I AM trying.

And I'm done being told that I'm not.

[heatwritten]

in sun and moon pairings, i have an attachment to the stoic, emotionally repressed character and excuse some of their grievances because, like, that’s so me 🕺 - someone who’d just love to have a bright and shining star in my life

[pearl-harp-and-thread]

high-functioning depression, so you get up in the morning, eat breakfast, get dressed and go to lectures, high-functioning depression, so you're doing great at uni, everyone's praising you, telling you how good you are, high-functioning depression, so you go home, work, do stuff for your next class, eat dinner, go for a walk, high-functioning depression, so you start working late translating English poetry for your master's thesis because you know that if you stop you'll fucking fall apart and start crying.

[laststep-suicide]

I should have ended my life a long time ago.

[primerxhombrexadam]

I just wanna pipe in and apologize for the lack of activity on my blogs. My energy levels have been at 0 or very low...

I love seeing you guys on the dash! I miss you and I will try harder during the week to use the queue better

[studynxiety]

24th June 2025 Tuesday 14:30

Time left till D-Day:

73 hours 15 minutes, or 3 days, 15 minutes.

I had enough time, goddammit, but I procrastinated, was inefficient, crashed out a few times, and now, I don't feel anywhere near ready.

I still need to finish Chapter 6, go through MCQ exercises, past papers, past exercises, and review past chapters. But I feel catat9nic and stupid, like there is a huge mountain standing in my way. I hate that I am this way, that I am inefficient, that I crash out when it matters the most.

In any case, here goes the important part;

To Do Today:

Finish Chapter 6

Finish MCQ exercises

Download Anaconda and set it up on my laptop again

Well, at least for a few days, I got to feel like a person. Now, I am back to putting one foot in front of the other to make any progress. It is what it is I suppose.

[princessmacabre]

day 5/100 days of productivity

got up at 8am

morning tea & novel writing

workout & some yoga

40mins walk

cooked lunch

3 h of writing work

3 h of acting class

passed out right after class. i am bot sure if i am resting enough but also i kinda cannot stop myself from working as much as i can? like, i am so afraid that i wont get there fast enough and there is still so much to do idk. not in such a good place these days but all i can do is keep going and hope for the best. and maybe one day i can start to heal…

bisous

xx

[feralboo-the-weirdo]

okay, weird thought, but does anyone else have like a "safe scene" for when you have really violent intrusive thoughts or repetitive triggers or ptsd flashbacks that just keep cycling in your brain over and and over so you try to force your brain into that scene because it's safe? like mine for example is someone rolling up a scroll (one with the visual memory) and putting it into a barrel and then walking away to a far away gazebo. like.... anyone else? just like a scene your brain reverts to when you just don't want to see a memory?

[spn-fanfic-reblog-writes]

So, apparently Dean and Sam might have high functioning depression

[rain-rainynights-side]

i'm a rockstar. i can fool you into believing the glamour and glory are real and not a trick of the spotlight