#high functioning depression

[feralboo-the-weirdo]

You know what is just mind boggling? Neurotypical people exist. Like there are people who can just DO things and not have depression, anxiety (in every form ever), RSD, sensory overloads, and not get overwhelmed. Like there are people who can work for eight hours every day and still do things after. People who can make phone calls with no struggle. Who aren't constantly bombarded by a cacophony of thoughts both good and bad when they do things. Who have anxiety but it isn't crippling. who can spend hours, WEEKS with people and not get tired or fear that everyone there hates you. People who have no idea what Depression or intense trauma feel like. People who hear instructions and do it right first go. People who can follow a conversation without zoning out, or having to mask.

Like. Do neurotypical people actually exist?

Because I can't even imagine what it would be like to be neurotypical. Or mentally healthy. Both sound alien and foren. But like. Obviously they exist because neurodivergent people wouldn't struggle so much if not for how the world was structured for Neurotypical people but I don't know if I've ever met a neurotypical.

idk. food for thought I guess.

[theereina]

[mariposas8494]

High Functioning Bipolar Disorder is HARD AF 😵‍💫🤦🏻‍♀️😭

[unwelcome-ozian]

[glitterpennotes]

high functioning depressed bitches rise!

✅ responsible for emotional state of entire family from a young age

✅ generally bubbly personality despite internal fear and despair

✅ will be in the absolute depths of misery and mental illness but work and academic performance will never once falter

sometimes i try to talk to my friends about being upset and i get so so uncomfortable bc my whole life i was taught not to burden other people with my sadness so i end up either apologizing or comforting them every time!

[princessmacabre]

day 5/100 days of productivity

got up at 8am

morning tea & novel writing

workout & some yoga

40mins walk

cooked lunch

3 h of writing work

3 h of acting class

passed out right after class. i am bot sure if i am resting enough but also i kinda cannot stop myself from working as much as i can? like, i am so afraid that i wont get there fast enough and there is still so much to do idk. not in such a good place these days but all i can do is keep going and hope for the best. and maybe one day i can start to heal…

bisous

xx

[scre-4-m]

High functioning depression is a fucking trip because every so often you'll have that one day where the high functioning part is just fucking gone and you can't get through basic tasks or complete basic needs for yourself, and people notice and go "are you just having a bad day? Did something happen that made you sad?" Like no I've been extremely depressed for months I just can't fucking hold it together today but I'll be sure to hide it again starting tomorrow and I'll look forward to this conversation happening again a few months from now.

[endlessmidnights]

Just because you can’t see my struggle doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist… people never seem to understand that high-functioning anxiety and depression exists and is a problem

[spn-fanfic-reblog-writes]

So, apparently Dean and Sam might have high functioning depression

[findingmelissa]

High functioning depression is a wonderful and terrible thing.

The last two weeks I have once again struggled to get out of bed, nearly every day. There were a couple of times I was nearly in tears, it felt excruciating, everything in my brain was fighting it, I was pep talking myself out loud. Rough mornings.

And yet, I did get out of bed. And once I do get out of bed, it's like I can turn a switch on in my brain and keep it on. I brush my teeth, run or bike, shower, prep all my meals, do both my jobs, do laundry and dishes. It's incredibly painful sometimes on those kinds of days but for whatever reason, I figured out a long time ago (well, about 11-12 years ago when I first stopped drinking and smoking and lost all that weight, etc.) how to turn that switch on.

I am glad for this, don't get me wrong. The fact that I am eating well, sleeping well, not drinking, working out most days, sticking to my responsibilities... all of that is immeasurably good for me. If I wasn't doing any of that, I would be so much worse off mentally, to say the least. I know that from experience.

But, of course, the biggest down side is that no one ever believes I am depressed or struggling. I used to think I was just guessing at that, but this has been said to me even recently, that I have it all together, I manage my shit so well. Ummm. No. When I finally broke down in August, I feel like it was this massive release of long pent up tears and... a feeling of helplessness in a way? A major cry for help, like, "Hello, I am actually suffering! Please notice this!"

I love being able to do what I do. I do not want to seem ungrateful. But it definitely has a negative side.

[pearl-harp-and-thread]

high-functioning depression, so you get up in the morning, eat breakfast, get dressed and go to lectures, high-functioning depression, so you're doing great at uni, everyone's praising you, telling you how good you are, high-functioning depression, so you go home, work, do stuff for your next class, eat dinner, go for a walk, high-functioning depression, so you start working late translating English poetry for your master's thesis because you know that if you stop you'll fucking fall apart and start crying.

[feralboo-the-weirdo]

Being the youngest sucks.

Being the youngest is always being lonely

It's always being too young

Always the odd one out, the late one.

The last to leave, the last to graduate

The child the parents give up parenting on because they're tired

It's feeling guilty you're the youngest even though you couldn't chose your birth order.

It's the guilt that you were treated "better"

You got "more."

It's being the baby of the family and feeling suffocated in the wants your parents have for you. It's feeling like you can never leave your parents.

It's growing up too fast because you don't want to be left behind

It's hiding away your emotions because you realize no one really cares

It's trying to be the sunshine child

it's trying to be the child the parents have to do the least for.

it's watching your siblings get punished and wondering when you're next

it's feeling immensely terrified of confrontation because you're never allowed to win.

It's being left with your siblings because your parents gave up on you and being raised by them.

It's listening to your siblings emotions and feeling terrible because you can't do anything to help them.

it's feeling to young

it's feeling like you deserve to be punished for existing.

It's feeling like you're the last straw that broke your parents. That if they just hadn't had you they'd still have money.

It's feeling like you have to be there for your parents because all the rest of your siblings leave. It's feeling like a third parent.

it's watching everyone around you grow old but you're still young.

it's feeling so old but you're still young.

it's being told you're selfish when you're literally a child.

it's being told to grow up when you're a child.

It's feeling like you can't have mental illnesses because you watch the strain it puts on your parents with your siblings. It's watching your family suffer but not knowing how to help and not being able to.

It's constantly eavesdropping on accident out of habit because no one explains what's going on.

It's trying to monitor the situation so no one gets hurt.

it's feeling incredibly uncomfortable talking about emotions because you weren't allowed to as a child because they weren't "important" enough because your oldest siblings just told you "at least you're not an adult" or "it's so much easier at that age."

It's feeling like an only child after everyone moves out.

It's feeling disconnected from your older siblings, like you never had a relationship with them.

it's feeling like a burden on your parents because you're the last one.

You carry so many secrets. You know so many secrets. You don't know what to do with those secrets.

Being the youngest is not carefree. In a way, the youngest caries almost as much as the oldest.

I don't know the experience of many other youngest siblings but mine was not the carefree experience my older siblings tried to make it out to be. But I'm starting to realize my childhood wasn't exactly normal so that probably doesn't help. I don't know that most youngest siblings aren't supposed to feel like a third parent to most of their siblings at like fifteen.

Please don't hate on this post, I'm not trying to hate on eldest and middle siblings, I just want to caution you to remember that your younger sibling is going to grow up and remember the things you said to them. It's not their fault they're the youngest.

Feel free to add to this post.

[tabooballoonpolice]

Raise your hand if your mental health is shit and every day is fucking exhausting and you just want to stop trying but that's not an option because you have school/a job/important responsibilities and life doesn't stop just because you're depressed so you have to just go about your day doing the stupid things while feeling dead inside and also somehow convincing everyone you're fine because telling the truth takes way more energy than it's woth because people will listen in the moment and it feels like you're finally making them understand and they say they're gonna support you but the second the conversation is over they literally treat you exactly the same as they were treating you before so you decide to just stop telling people anything unless you're in crisis and even then it's not "crisis-ey enough" because you're still acting like a functioning human because your brain physically will not let you shut down so from the outside it just looks like you're a lazy ass bitch with a really fucked sense of humor.

[riversidekid]

[spiced-wine-fic]

“…the top high-functioning depression sign to look out for is that you don’t experience any sustained sense of joy or pleasure, despite good things happening.

“People with high-functioning depression remain productive, successful, and able to achieve,” she said. “And yet, the person may not be able to maintain a mood of pride, joy, or pleasure for long, or they may pick apart a compliment or achievement to somehow make it ‘less than’ or inadequate in some way, emphasising that they may not be deserving or they just got lucky.”

[laststep-suicide]