#having never been to therapy
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king0fcrows · 1 year ago
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walkerrenee · 11 days ago
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sometimes i randomly remember how insane maggie stiefvater was for making ronan lynch—a man that can create reality—a man of god, when he himself is a god of a man. then to take this man and have him be not only in love with, but a literal soulmate of a man named adam. parrish. adam parrish. who, mind you, lives above ronan's very own place of worship. and is the namesake of the first of mankind that the bible says god made from the literal dust of the ground (adam parrish: comes from nothing, hair "dusty" in color) and appoints him to care for the garden of eden (adam parrish: sacrifices himself to ronan's sentient forest). then has adam viewing ronan as a god and ronan saying "maybe he dreamt (created)" adam???? like who just fucking writes that and goes about their life?
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taeraenini · 7 months ago
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seagreenstardust · 9 months ago
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“When toxic behavior is portrayed as romantic, it’s problematic. When problematic behavior is portrayed as a character flaw for a character to work through, it’s good storytelling.”
Katsuki Bakugou, my friends.
His behavior was problematic but never once portrayed as romantic at the same time. Katsuki said and did awful abusive things, and he also chose to be better when he was given the chance. If you’re still hung up on chapter 1 Katsuki now then I don’t think you’ve been reading the same story I have.
I can’t speak for everyone, but I’m not shipping Izuku with an irredeemable abuser. I’m shipping him with his most important person. His narrative foil. His childhood friend who made awful mistakes and then made it right when he saw he was wrong. The person Izuku looks up to and strives to emulate, despite their past struggles.
Bakudeku is so good because of how flawed these boys are, and how hard they’ve worked to get over it, and how much they matter to each other after it all
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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 11 months ago
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Thank you all for voting in the poll to decide who was going to be the leader of the band! It turned out to be such a close race!
#poorly drawn mdzs#better drawn mdzs#mdzs#madam lan#A-qing#Band AU#(Reminder that Madam Lan's design inspiration goes to Qourmet!)#Madam Lan may have been the winner per vote count but there were so many strong advocates for A-Qing!#I played around with a few versions of what the 'poll winner' art was going to be and ultimately decided I wanted them both.#As any good theater love knows though - The battle for leadership was a ruse. They *all* get a chance to be featured.#Cooperation was the real end goal! However I do think these two have the best frontman energy of the group.#Or at least 'crowd favourite' energy. I also really loved hearing what people thought their vocal styles would be like!#This was probably one of my favourite polls to do and I love drawing these characters a lot B*)#I'd love to spend a bit more time in this AU so count on me bringing it back.#One thing I keep feeling like I need to redeem myself on is Madam Lan's Translucent skirt. I have *not* done the concept justice yet.#It is such a crack-platonic ship but I want to think Madam Lan and A-Qing would enjoy each other's company.#Possibly also with JYL as well. They can be like mutually beneficial therapy dogs to each other.#Madam Lan never got to see her kids grow up into teenagers after all. She only had sons. Never daughters.#Even if she saw her kids once a month we do know she treated them with so much love and kindness.#She would bite the shit out of YZY for yelling at JYL. What a sight to see. A-Qing would also start biting (for fun).
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bxriles · 2 months ago
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I will never understand why this fandom abhors crackships. Like this is a series about faerie smut. You’d think crackships and multishipping would be the standard but nooo. That’s SACRILEGE and PROBLEMATIC and anyone who partakes in crackships is an ABUSE SYMPATHIZER. (That sounds fucking stupid, doesn’t it? That’s what some of you deadass sound like.)
We got people writing essays and attacking other people and sending DEATH THREATS for liking Rhysta and Neslin and Tamsand and Nyxlin (and bffr, nobody is genuinely shipping Tamlin with a literal baby ffs).
This fandom is so fucking vanilla and boring with how obsessed everyone is with canon and how so many people praise purity culture. Y’all are weird, sorry not sorry 🫶🏼
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signedjehanne · 1 year ago
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people on tumblr will literally post things like “you have to eat vegetables and expand your palate i dont care if you are a picky eater because of autism (if i can overcome it you can too)” and everybody will reblog it being like “yes this is true for everybody no matter what” and think its okay. like sorry but that wont work for everyone and there is no one size fits all and some people will never be able to eat these things no matter how hard they try. im only allowed by my doctors to eat recreationally and not for nutrition, because my ARFID is so severe that i get my nutrition solely from a specially made formula drink. your suggestions of “try vegetables roasted!” or “try them in soup!” and assurances of “i did it, you can too!” don’t work for those of us with more severe mental illnesses and disabilities. stop tying a person’s worth to their diet and stop assuming everybody has the ability to do what you can.
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heartshapedgreen · 3 months ago
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really hate how 'avoid therapy speak' writing advice is to write your characters not able to convey their emotions period, instead of y'know... making them convey them less clinically (which is what i think 'therapy speak' is supposed to mean?) and more in line with your character's view of life.
like if your character is someone who is very self-aware, or someone who ruminates a lot (hello ocd), they're gonna have A Lot to say when asked about their feelings. maybe it's unreliable. maybe it's diverting from the real issue. maybe they're lying. even untruthful/'wrong' answers can reveal so much about a cynical mindset or that they hate their self or that they've been gaslit so much their entire conclusion is wrong, and it's a "oh..." moment for everybody.
i even have a character who actually would say 'umm... not good, i guess? i have no idea' to being asked 'so how does this make you feel?' but that's cause. they literally have alexithymia. or, i guess if that could be an appropriate reaction for a character who is overly guarded & has trust issues. i also wonder if displeasure at 'therapy speak' has to do with the fact most of us probably don't have many people who ask us about our feelings, and conversations like these feel sappy and uncomfortable and like fanciful imaginings of unrestrained trust that won't be betrayed, because often IRL trust like this goes betrayed. most 'therapy speak' advice comes across as really jaded, and i'm saying this as someone who has trust issues lol. also, considering that alexithymia is actually very common, i wonder if that plays a role in how weird these conversation seem to readers who have it. (i'm actually curious about this.)
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nikoisme · 8 months ago
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odysseus holding a duck,, holding it so carefully and gently with his large, roughened hands as not to hurt it. Not to damage the soft feathers,,, And the duck doesn't scramble away, rather it nestles itself in his hold. and he himself has to smile, knowing that his hands still remember how to be gentle. And his hands can still be a comfort, after everything.
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ghouldtime · 2 months ago
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I need more neighbor König getting protective over his little neighbor.
I do believe he can get very possessive, though I'm not sure that's the word I'm looking for. But he's lost so much, so many people in his unit and people he had once considered friends. He won't even visit his own mother because he's scared for her safety. Maybe an enemy finds out some way some how about her and takes her as leverage. Now she gets to see colonel konig with his gear and mask and barking orders and not the sweet man she's come to know. How would he react or feel?
Ofc when she realizes it's just him and throws her arms around him
I'm sorry but I'm answering this because this doesn't fall under my characterization of him 😭 I can do the last part maybe one day when I'm not sick and have planned everything out in my mind THOROUGHLY
I know you meant no harm by this either!! This is just a bit of a rambly tangent to describe WHO my König is and why he's that way.
(Also stating that reader in neighbor isn't explicitly a she nor are they little in the same way. I write gender neutral for a reason! They're a grown adult)
Like I know it's just an imagine and possible scenario but for me I just don't really see it happening unless quite literally EVERYTHING went wrong. He's got plan A, plan B, plan C, D, and E. Always be prepared.
But it strikes me as unlikely in happening at all as he is a VERY cautious man and does what he can to remove his identity as König from his residential life. He keeps his gear under lock and key, he doesn't tell personal details of his work, he doesn't want to track ANY of that back. His field life isn't his personal life and he's intent on keeping that separated. Anything that could be used to identify him, he doesn't keep around or its hidden so NO ONE would suspect it.
It would take some absolute major intel and someone working within KorTac itself to follow him like that - even then, dude is a bit paranoid. He's got a security system for a reason, he doesn't wear his mask in public, his body is covered up usually by the long clothes he wears, he's not out socializing - he's just blending in. He's watching cars that pass, he usually keeps curtains drawn or has privacy film, he knows who drives what car and their schedules - so if it's off, he's picking it up.
The way he's protective is in his actions - that's WHY he won't tell details of his work, that's WHY he works hard to ensure personal life doesn't meddle with what his job is, that's WHY he has backup plans. That's WHY he makes sure they get a security system too, if they haven't had one already. That's why he makes sure they're trained in self defense and have at least some form of weapon at the ready, even though they ARE in a safe area. He's protective in the sense of "I'm doing what I can to prevent that aspect of my life from coming into yours" , he's protective in the sense of "I've seen what people are capable of, I've protected myself so I'm protecting you too as much as I can because you matter to me". He's protective in the sense he's caring, he's going out of his way to make sure you're safe.
But he's not going to be protective in the sense of "let me be with you constantly" or "who were you talking to???" or "Why didn't you invite me". Reader is a grown, independent adult and he's aware of that. He's respectful of that and knows they're capable of caring for themselves too. Being IN their life doesn't mean he IS their life. They both operate in their own lives and have their own interests and both, as such, need alone time and time to spend with others too. That's just how to have healthy relationships.
He's very independent himself and having another person around as his friend has taken a significant adjustment period. Honestly, it takes a long time for him to even register that he can go do things with them. He's so used to being on his own that it has to catch up.
And I'm going to say that my König is NEVER possessive towards people. Never. Possessive implies treating them like an object or piece of property, like they're something that's his alone. Possessive means great insecurity in his sense of relationships to the extent where he's manipulating them and monopolizing their lives for his gain.
He's not, because he's a well adjusted adult who has been to therapy throughout his life to manage his own insecurities, especially involving interpersonal relationships. Hell, when he STARTED to even get feelings for neighbor, he brought it up to said therapist just to be sure he's going down the right path. He's built a set of healthy behaviors to cope with unhealthy feelings that may arise.
He gets jealous, especially initially, but once again - he's a grown adult and is capable of handling his own insecurities in a productive way. Everyone is allowed to have more than one person in their lives and a healthy network of relationships matters.
Protective? Yes. Possessive? Absolutely not. He respects independence as he himself is that way. He wants to spend as much time as possible with his neighbor but he realizes that he too needs his own space and time to recharge, and he can't be singularly focused on one person alone. His primary concern is their safety, no matter what they do.
He's lost many comrades and brothers in arms but that's also bound to happen in his line of work. This might sound brutal, but he's desensitized to it to a degree. Losing someone is never easy, but it's expected. The blow will always hurt but when it's always a possibility, it never wanes. He's wary of it and aware of it, and losing any friends he made happened earlier on in the army before his private contracting days. It numbed him too it and set the precedent for his relationships with anyone and is why he's so guarded.
After then, he's not really had many friends. Not that he had many to begin with but he doesn't go out of his way to get close to others. Acquaintances and work buddies? Yes. But friends are a rarity as he's really rather unapproachable. He's there to do his job, he's there to take people down and get paid, he's wary of getting close to ANYONE knowing they can be taken at any moment. He'll work with them, he'll know them, he'll be proud of them - but making friends and forming personal relationships like that in a private military contracting company is a bad idea, when they can easily swap over to the other side if they're offered more pay. He's seen it happen, he knows it's a real possibility.
That's why he picks any personal relationships closely and takes eons to warm up. His social anxiety, as well managed as it is, doesn't make it any easier. He knows what can happen, so he prepares as best as he can. Which INCLUDES being protective and prepared, and planning accordingly. If he's letting anyone into his life, he's already got a game plan for what he'll do.
And no, he DOES visit his mother, as I've stated! As much as his work allows and as much as possible, he does visit. He just doesn't live with or near her. He can easily visit throughout the year when his schedule allows and its sporadic, with no rhyme or reason. He doesn't take repeating cars, he doesn't do anything in a pattern that can be tracked. He's also made sure she's secure in her home too so it's unlikely things will happen, but he won't flat out not communicate with her and not see her at all. He's just smart and careful about it! He can't bare to never see her again.
I'm sorry but my König just doesn't fall under how most people portray him or see him. He's just a guy with his own personal issues. And like the proper guy that he is, he manages them and knows its his responsibility to do such. He's extensively gone to therapy, he's worked on himself, he knows where he stands.
Sure, he's still prone to jealousy and a touch of paranoia, but that doesn't mean he lacks the skills to work through them. He communicates like an adult with whatever he's feeling. Expressing it can be hard but he DOES get it out there and he also heavily respects reader's own autonomy. They're an adult, so is he. He'll protect them and do what he can, he'll care about them, but he will never seek to control them or treat them like something for only HIM to have. He's not and will never be a "they're MINE and NO ONE touches what's mine" - that's just not him to me. I don't write him as a big, broody dommy guy who is growling every sentence or can't handle others talking to someone he likes.
To me, he's just a dude. An introverted guy who likes to sew ridiculous pillows and tend to his garden who is happy in the home he made for himself. He's comfortable with who he is and where he stands. He can communicate properly, knows how to respect boundaries, and likes seeing others who matter to him happy in their lives as they establish a supportive network. Just because he isn't always with them or going with them doesn't mean they can't take care of themselves or he HAS to be there. He's not some ultra possessive dude because he has healthy understandings of boundaries and knows the world doesn't revolve around him and his wants (also he wouldn't WANT them to depend on him and him alone when its very possible he too will die on the field one day). He's not always going to look over your shoulder or instantly treat any other person as a threat.
He's seasoned with the things he's seen and is wary enough to be protective and to do what he knows to prevent what he's seen happen. He's cautious, he's considerate, he's caring - and he's not a cunt about it. Really, he's just perceptive and accepts what can happen so he tries to set up anyone in his life for success to avoid what he's seen and to keep them from harm. He can't always be there, he knows he can't, so ensuring that those around him who he DOES care about have a proper, healthy network of friends around for support and have a game plan for if shit hits the fan (as well as a system to enact it) is his way of showing he cares and can always be with them and help, even if he's long gone or buried six feet under.
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hecksupremechips · 5 months ago
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Thinking of vlr Akane is so conflicting cuz on one hand I’m so upset that she doesn’t ever get a moment to just rest and enjoy being alive again I’m upset that she just gets deeper and deeper into this role she’s built for herself and she loses her humanity and will never ever be that girl who died in the incinerator. But on the other hand, I need her to get so, so much worse I need her to be so obsessed with perfection she has this unique ability to change the course of history and she will burn everything and everyone to the ground in the blink of an eye if it means she can "reset" and get a perfect timeline and I desperately need her to never be satisfied with anything because really, is there anything that’s worth all the damage she’s caused?
#zero escape#akane kurashiki#virtues last reward#yeahhhhh just having so many thoughts about akane and sigma and junpei and yeah im screaming eyes bloodshot#i want akane to just like post 999 just do silly shit with aoi get a cat be a gamer try to heal the best she can#and i want her to be so evil i think theres still some crimes she hasnt committed yet she should do those#i really really really want her and junpei to just beat the shit out of each other in a boxing ring. specifically post vlr#need them being old as shit throwing chairs everyone is cheering#and damn like vlr akane just cant agree with junpei on his philosophy that a life with pain is still a life worth living cuz then thatd mean#everything she did in 999 was all for naught like to accept even the bad timelines where she died as valuable...#thats a kick to the dick especially when she fought so hard to live and how her death was so unfair#except she was just a scared kid with no choice then. now whats her excuse#i just want it to be possible you know? possible that akane didnt need to do this and she couldve been happy#cuz yeah the trauma would be horrible but surely itd be better than the trauma she has now since she took that dive#i wonder if she knows that no matter what she does she’ll never erase her trauma and eventually she will have to face it#or if she actually believes she can figure it all out and win the perfect timeline and magical mental stability will happen#basically akane is avoiding therapy soooooo hard but then again who would even be her therapist#no one can possibly understand her...right?
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caligvlasaqvarivm · 6 months ago
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Okay challenge mode. You are a therapist and Eridan Ampora from Homestuck has just walked right out of his intro page into your office. How do you fix him?
put him and karkat in a room with a pile of stuff and tell them they can't leave until they've jumped into it and talked about their feelings
#realtalk therapy doesnt work unless the person getting the therapy puts in the effort to make it work#eridan starts the comic in complete and utter denial that he's in need of help#so there's really nothing i nor any stranger could do about that#HOWEVER he does talk to karkat often about his feelings (and vice versa) and#the reason they didnt hang out during the game seems to be#1) they were on separate teams and didnt realize the teams were the same team until later on#2) by then it was too late and eridan had aggro'd all his angels#3) gamzee was deliberately keeping eridan away from karkat and vice versa (likely bc gamzee had a palecrush on kk)#4) karkat was too busy falling victim to his own insecurities abt being a leader to pay attention to his actual friendships#4a) eg. it shouldve been the time player doing the frog hunt with kanaya & not the blood player#like im not saying moirallegiance with karkat would have fixed all of eridans problems but i am saying#what eridan really needed was a friend who took his problems seriously and could see past his bullshitting#and karkat already WAS that friend - they just never hung out#so by the time the meteor rolls around eridan has spent WEEKS feeling abandoned anxious and alone on his death planet#and karkat has gotten used to not thinking about eridan too much#so karkat - who is basically eridans only actual friend at that point - isnt able to get through to him & eridan snaps#like the thing about sburb/homestuck is that it really stresses the importance of friendship and working together#letting each other help with each others' problems#thats why the smallest viable game is still two people by necessity#so when we see things like gamzee snapping or eridan snapping or vriska snapping#as much as these are the 'fault' of the person snapping they also need to be viewed as comprehensive team failures#the people who should have spent the game together didnt and the people who shouldnt have spent the game together did#vriska was allowed to bully tf outta tavros and nobody intervened#eridan was left all alone and nobody tried to help him#and everybody was mean to gamzee and nobody tried to connect with him#and you know whose job it is to make sure the right people are hanging out together? the blood player#and unfortunately our blood player was so insecure that he was doing jobs that werent his to do#im not saying pale erikar would fix homestuck but i am saying pale erikar is a symptom of things being fixed in homestuck
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bumblingbabooshka · 5 months ago
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Tuvok & Janeway being normal close friends pre-delta quadrant but becoming irreparably inseparable over the course of their time on Voyager is actually a very funny alternative to them having been besties. Before the horrors they were close but now in the delta quadrant all their neuroses are coming out and new, worse neuroses are being added every day. Janeway's trying to kill herself in increasingly spectacular bouts of heroic sacrifice and Tuvok's too busy proving that he knows her best/will always be by her side to effectively stop her. And for that? He's her best and dearest friend and can have the honor of being the only one to die by her side [which he willingly asks permission to do, btw] ♥
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cubbyhole-for-flea-bee · 4 months ago
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Apologies
#shadowpeach#six eared macaque#sun wukong#lmk#lego monkie kid#monkey king#liu'er mihou#I just think it'd be neat if they apologized to each other and then cried and hugged about it#(cuz on god they both have some shit they should get off their chests and own up to)#like holy blue hells they're both just like “I think i shall spend my immortal life ruminating on my greatest regret and letting it fester”#everytime i watch the scene where Macaque is like:#“its good to talk about feelings! obv i don't do it”#i turn into the hands on hips guy meme#DUDE GO TO THERAPY#wukong too lets be real#been reading jttw the west (haven't actually gotten to where SEM shows up in the book yet tho)#and i think that if therapy existed back then tripitaka and sha wujing would've been gently but firmly#herding wukong into the local therapist's waiting room in as many towns they pass as possible#he'd probly grab the door frame and have to be literally pried off#these hypothetical ancient-chinese therapists all have claw marks on the hallways and doors going into their offices#hey how about an au where shadowpeach get therapists who end up getting all the monkey drama news first#and end up on the business-rivals-to-drinking-buddies pipeline#stopped while drawing this like “hey why'd i make mac be touching wukong's face in both sketches?”#and then i remembered that between the two mac's the one who wants to be something to the other#to the point of desperation#its like if they're both cats who got coned swk is the one who sits there miserably accepting his fate#while mac is that one video of the tuxedo cat shrieking and trying to paw it off#i'd read the hell out of a fic where they end up swapping attitudes about their dynamic#in canon wukong's the one who seems like he would like to never see mac again (at times) even tho he really regrets it and it hurts#like mac just gives up on trying to convince himself he can make swk see him as a significant part of his life again
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many-but-one · 1 month ago
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Okay everyone, I have to talk about this movie my partner and I went to see together. Some of you may have seen info about it before. It is called Wild Robot. (Trailer linked)
This movie could not get any more overt about its message about “overriding your programming.” Specifically, overriding your programming and becoming “more than what you were programmed to be” and overriding your programming in order to help each other and keep each other safe. Another big theme is deciding not to return to the programmers to “get fixed.” Although, spoiler alert, it does sort of happen, but not in the way you think. It has a happy ending.
This movie was delightful, heartwarming, adorable, and incredibly impactful for our system to see, especially our parts who are young and still a bit ingrained with their programming. While we consider ourselves fully deprogrammed in the “parts are willing to not run their programming” way, they still have to process a lot of the traumas that caused the programming and fully deconstruct the narratives they were taught about themselves. Seeing this movie really hit hard for a lot of these parts who are still struggling with this.
I highly, highly recommend this movie to any RAMCOA or programmed system who feels this sort of message being delivered in a heartwarming kid’s movie format may be of help. There’s tons of media geared towards teens and adults about overriding programming (Detroit: Become Human was a huge hit for our parts even before the lesser knowing ones even realized why, for example) but we have never seen a movie geared towards children with this message, and it may help systems whose young parts may need a different format of the same message!
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artsekey · 5 months ago
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Hey op, art therapist here, responding to your comic about your first ever session in therapy-
And oh my *GOD*- I am SO sorry that was your first experience. I’m absolutely dumbfounded the therapists behavior. And to find out in notes she was 15 minutes late?? I sincerely hope you have found or find a better therapist. That is absolutely ridiculous
I see a therapist and my therapist LOVES when I come in with a list of things and reasons why I think it’s going on. As a therapist- i know it helps you develop better self awareness when you write down what’s going on in the moment to help reflect on it (as someone with ADHD its primarily to help me remember lol.) So that initial response from that therapist was super weird and to say “it’s not my process???” For insight- UM!!!?!? WHAT’!?!? THATS YOUR JOB IS TO GIVE INSIGHT!?!?
As a therapist I’m so upset for you that’s just so ridiculous. You coming in knowing exactly what you wanted and with everything ready is honestly every therapists dream. It’s okay to not have a goal yet or ever- but it just shows how “on it” you are and how you want to be an active member in your treatment. Good on you op seriously.
Sorry to rant in your ask- I just fuckin love my job so much and seeing other therapists fuck around like this makes me livid. Keep doing you op! I hope you found/find a better therapist!! You got this!!
Thank you for this! Honestly, I'm really glad I posted that comic. I'd been thinking about going for years just to "tidy up", as it were-- I firmly believe that therapy can be good for anyone, no matter the scope of the problem. A lot of people have encouraged me to keep looking, and that's largely why I think I will-- It was a lot for me to make and go to this appointment, and because I have no other perspective on therapy, the whole experience reaffirmed my suspicions that what I want to work on might be "too small" to bother with (and/or too niche). I really can't overstate how her last comment about the fact that I put my needs aside contributed to a "net good" would've obliterated me a few months ago!
I'm not going to get into the weeds about it because at that point it's personal, but the comics honestly don't do it justice; it was like she took every one of my concerns, ignored them in favor of what she thought was the direction we needed to go in, blew past every "exit" sign I put on the road to get us back on track. It was infuriating.
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