#what the fuck are all these goddman people smoking that makes them think

[king0fcrows]

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[mulder-isms]

The gay messiah - Thorcid Fanfic

A\N: So, I’m not going to lie, this fic is just a pile of trash with no plot and filth lol 

It’s my failed atempt of the second part of the Christmas special. There are references to Friends characters and in the most Lucy’s fashionable way is based on a Rufus Wainwright song.

Drop me a note if you liked, hated or if turned you on  👀👌

PS: the smuttiest smut

*

Are memories truly based or something that really happened?

The scattered fragments sometimes connect with others they don’t belong, like a broken jigsaw it could be hard to define what was real or not. The texture of a fabric in the fingertips, a distinct scent of freshly cut grass can take you back to junior high, where you skipped P.E to smoke. But you can’t remember the whole picture at all.

The leather of that couch reminded Jamin of Shane. He was in a birthday party of a friend of a friend, convinced to get out of his cage, and his mind started wondering. The conversion of the gay couple that was there caught his attention. They had been married for years and wouldn’t stop bickering. The dying flame wasn’t an exclusivity of straight couples. The main topic of discussion was because one of them didn’t want to go to Paris for the next trip and the snowball was getting bigger and rolling down to smash them both. You never actually listen to my ideas. You always think you’re right. 

World first problems: starting white middle aged gay men.

“I’m having another drink” one of them gave up mid conversation while the other profusely rubbed his eyes.

“I don’t know if you’re in a relationship but this is what happens when you decide to marry someone that is complete the opposite of you. Opposites attraction is complete bullshit” he confessed shaking his head.

Jamin squeezed the cushion of the leather couch and nodded showing polite empathy. All he could think of is how much he missed Shane and how he couldn’t see them reaching that stage. Maybe he was being too naive, maybe his memories were playing a trick on him. Their constant state of missing each other a the probations  that state carry within morphed into longing and appreciation. It could be a temporary illusion, he wasn’t that blistfully hopeful, but Jamin was gladly under the spell.

*

Jamin was checking his phone in the dressing room. He had already talked to the other girls and the Christmas Queens concert  was about to happen in few hours. He was able to catch them in one of the last shows finally. Shane was rehearsing with Peppermint, just the usual soundcheck and he was waiting them to finish.

Last night he arrived at dawn and Shane woke up just to fall asleep again. He was fully energetic of too much coffee but his boyfriend was exhausted, so tired that fell asleep mid conversation, and that never happens with Shane, because if he starts talking he will finish it.

Peppermint popped in the room without knocking and was a bit startled to find Jamin there.

“Betty!”

“Hey bitch” Jamin opened a huge smile when he heard Peppermint’s raspy and cheerful voice. She had already opened arms to hug him and he didn’t make her wait.

They hugged each other and Peppermint sat by his side in front of the mirror surrouned by lights.

“Ooh Thorgy is coming right after me. She is just tuning in a little bit more, well, you know her”

“Yeah, I know her pretty well” he raised his brows and kept scrolling on his phone. Peppermint was putting her long hair up, she was wearing a flowy checked dress with leggings. “You look amazing, girl”

“Awww thanks” and she kept fixing her hair on a bun and then she widened her eyes realizing something, “Oh my god! You’re together, right? Girl, I cannot be happier for you guys. I was very surprised when Thorgy told us, I think all of us girls were, but then we were like, yeah, it totally makes sense. You’re both such artistic souls, and your cat personality sorta tones down Thorgy’s golden retriever”

Jamin was caught by surprise with Peppermint words of support, it wasn’t a secret that they were together anymore, although they asked everyone to keep just between them and didn’t want any kind of social media exposure.

“That’s actually a very accurate analogy, I guess” he softly chuckled.

Shane got in the room with his violin case on shoulders, wearing a black tank top of his merch and indecent shorts that seemed to be his sleeping boxers.

“What are you doing here? You didn’t tell me you were dropping by before the show!” he asked confused but happy putting down his violin case on the mirror table between Peppermint and Jamin.

He looked up at his boyfriend long body and tapped the side of his hip “I wanted to see you fully awake” he looked up probably looking too much in awe and  glanced at Peppermint that was fumbling on her bag trying to not make them uncomfortable with a sweet half smile.

“I know, I passed out while you were talking, right? Soooorry” he replied leaning fowards to grab his face to give him a peck. Jamin panicked for two seconds, doing that if front of Peppermint felt like making out in front of his parents. Then Shane removed his crocs and checked himself on the mirror, he didn’t seem bothered at all.

“You guys are cute, stop it” she laughed closing her bag and standing up. “I still need to get my costumes from the laundry, you two behave”

“Oooh my jumpsuit! I think I forgot it there! Could ya?”

“Yeah, yeah…” she replied shaking her head laughing and left them alone. Shane kept fixing his bun, that was mess.

Jamin stood up and hugged him from behind, sniffing his his nape. Shane reacted to the tickling sensation raising his shoulders, but kept pulling the dreads and sticking on the bun.

“Peppermint is so nice that she felt that I was going to drop dead of awkwardness” he commented nuzzling on Shane’s shoulder and  hewas getting softer by each caress of Jamin, and rocking his body gently against his crotch.

“I’m the one dying if you’re keep doing this…” he replied relaxing and closing his eyes as Jamin’s hands entered underneath his shirt, his palm clenching on his stomach and then Shane turned around to kiss him. Jamin pulled him closer by grabbing his ass making him let go a loud gasp.

“You smell so fucking good…” Shane whispered lapping on Jamin’s neck and nibbling on his ear lobe as he played with the waistband of his shorts, pulling them down a bit, Jamin could watch on the mirror his hand creeping under the fabric of Shane’s shorts. “I want your mouth.. I want to feel your lip ring inside my asshole…”

Jamin’s cock twitched so hard between Shane’s legs he laughed. Although Shane was very much into dirty talking around friends he wasn’t that vocal in the actual sex and every time he was it would make Jamin crawl on the walls of excitement.

“There’s no lock on that goddamn door and you say something like that”

Shane bit his lips in mischief and pulled Jamin closer with one leg. They could hear people talking very close.

“Bend me over here and finger fuck me” he continued cupping Jamin’s erection over the jeans. Sharon’s voice was really close. Jamin started sweating and shook his head while Shane started giggling and stopped his hand closing his eyes and gathering all the strength he had left, feeling like all the blood of his body ran south.

“Oh I will, fuck you in many ways”

“Ooooh! Can’t wait” Shane teased him as Jamin pulled away and he fixed his shorts. Shane’s cock looked completely pornographic in that tent state. Jamin’s mouth was still watering. “Go away because I need to tuck this in twenty minutes and there’s no time to even jerk off. And don’t even think about rubbing that dick off. I want every drop of your cum on my mouth”

“SHANE!”

Jamin protested outraged putting his backpack in front of his bulge and throwing an eye shadow brush on him that continued laughing.

*

There was something about Thorgy playing the violin that made Jamin fall in love all over again. He always had a deep connection with music, and maybe he felt blessed to have it so close to his heart now. Shane’s face would change from a concentration frown to pure serenity, then a mischievous laughter. The strict notes making soft but energetic melodies was a reflect of Shane’s own soul, trying to create something beautiful out of pages and pages of codes and symbols.

As she was twirling around with the dancer on the stage wearing a sort of medieval red dress with golden embellishments, she would search for Jamin’s eyes in the backstage and wink for him. Surely the last couple of months weren’t easy for him, but right now he felt the luckiest man alive.

*

Jamin was pushed against the wall and the mistletoe that was on the door almost fell off. Thorgy’s was on her knees in front of him rubbing the hard on Jamin had to make fade away earlier in the afternoon, the long tail of the red dress spread behind her making a shiny red carpet, hands were fast to unzip his jeans. It was ridiculous how he was ready to go again just with Thorgy’s eyes, sparkling with that black eye shadow full of glitter and and biting her lips in anticipation.

“Just hold the door” Shane demanded slidding his pants down just enough so he could grab his ass while his other hand was already working on the free erection in front of her. 

Jamin gasped with Thorgy’s hot hands wrapped around him and goddman how much he missed them. “You know, there’s plenty room here we don’t have to stand in the one place people can-” his voice was already shaken and when Thorgy started to lick the side of his dick he lost his ability to think, “Fu…” and then fisted Thorgy’s brown curls, but carefully enough not to snatch the wig.

Thorgy kept the eye contact licking the side of his girth while holding firmly the base, very slowly, making it slick so it was almost glistening under the christmas lights over them, but not taking in her mouth yet. Then she gave his shaft a firm squeezing tug and sucked the head swirling the tongue around it finishing with a soft kiss.

“Oh, so you want me to stop?” Thorgy asked innocently and Jamin rolled his eyes panting.  Thorgy threw her shoulder flipping her hair satisfied.

“You’re fucking finishing this” he replied aroused but annoyed as Thorgy jubbled his balls gently, pulling his dick up so she could lick from the base to the tip and letting it go making Jamin go crazy with the edging.

“I don’t know… I have a show to finish you know…” she scoffed fixing her hair. Jamin decided to play the game and continued to rub his cock looking down at her.

“You’re not going anywhere.” 

“Ooooooh!” Thorgy teased mockingly and then pinned his hips on the wood door. “So shut up and do as I say”

Then she grabbed the base of his cock again and started sucking it furiously. Damn, Thorgy knew how to work a cock, her tongue quickly found his frenulum and flirted with it to making him groan. She sucked the head intensely and unforgiving and Jamin wondered how after almost two years together she wasn’t tired of sucking him dry like that. 

She stopped a bit to grab some air but Jamin fisted her hair, her jaw tilted and back arched as he kissed her tasting himself in her mouth.

“Fuck my mouth…” she whispered licking his lower lip, the taste of his precum mixed with her saliva. Her lipstick was all smudged, and he forgot they were actually on the break of the show, and she would definitely need a retouch. He gently pulled her by the shoulders and she took the sign to take him all the way in, Jamin feeling her mouth stretching. He knew although Thorgy was willing he was thick and long and it has been a while. But her humming of a approval was the sigh she was very comfortable, but he let her grow accustomed to his girth.

“You’re so good at this…” he motivated her and she sucked at him as hard as she could, slowing him down as he moaned. She moved him in and out, and he trusted harder, and soon the tip of his cock touched the back of her tongue she gagged instinctively, backing away.

He squeezed her neck gently, feeling the contractions of her throat and backed off a little. She took three deep breaths through her nose, relaxing her throat, and then returned him to the spot. He knew Shane was not a quitter and when in Thorgy’s shoes he was even more eager. She probably felt the tickle of her gag but held it off, swallowing instead, which seemed to suck him a little further in. Good girl.

"Ohshit. Ohfuck. Ohjesus…" he panted summoning all the entities to help them not getting caught and pushing himself against the wall so hard he thought he was going through it . She rubbed the flat of her tongue against the bottom of his shaft, craning her neck to get more of him. He felt he was hitting her uvula, and she was nearly losing it but then she forced her body to get back in control. With every slow thrust into her mouth she hummed happily positioning herself forward.

“Do you like my cock fucking your throat, don’t you?” and she nodded with him fully in her mouth making him grunt harder. Drops on sweat falling on his eyes. His breath was getting quicker and she knew she knew he was getting close. She swallowed around him one more time and then pulled away, slipping him out and quickly replacing that heat with her hand, a firm and steady grasp. He ran his thumb over her lips and bent down to look into her eyes and she impatiently kissed him.

“I’ve missed you…” she whispered still rubbing his dick feeling him completely ready to come. The noises outside were getting louder.

“I can see that” he laughed shortly out of breath nuzzling on her slicky mouth, tasting like lipstick and precum. Then she opened her mouth popping her tongue out so he could finally have a place to empty himself. He inserted his cock again where it rightfully belonged and it didn’t last seconds so that he was coming inside her throat, and it was so strong it poured out of her mouth but she quickly retrieved it with her fingers. While Jamin was still spasming Thorgy giggled while cleaning him up, the white liquid between her fingertips with dark red polish nails.

Jamin felt week on his knees but was able to lean forward and lick it from her fingers, and with the other hand clean the corners of her mouth with smudged lipstick and kissing her again.

“I guess that’s my break snack…” she laughed while he was burried on her neck. “Happy belated birthday and happy hanukkah” she replied while he was still kissing the side of her jaw and he cackled.

*

It was Christmas day and with the miracles the date brings they were both in the winter lands of Brooklyn. There was no tree but it was freezing cold outside and they were laying on bed watching Friends cosily on Jamin’s bedroom. Phoebe was singing her Christmas song and Shane was laughing resting his head on Jamin’s warm chest with a sweater.

“You’re a such a Phoebe. The singing voice is the same” he teased Shane and he pinched his belly laughing.

“And you are… that crazy neighbor with the broom?”

Jamin took a while to remember and then he laughed out loud covering his face. The bitter Mr. Heckles.  Shane side hugged him harder giggling and inserting his hand under his sweater, rubbing his belly, and it was something Jamin had learned to get used to it because it felt amazing even though he was self conscious about it.

“I’m gonna be Santa in Hallmark this year”

“Can I sit on your lap then?” Shane asked thrusting his hip on Jamin’s leg.

“You’re Christmas hornier, you know that, right?”

Shane’s hand went down to the waistband of Jamin’s pajamas pants, running his finger on the hairs that were there.

“I knoooow, I don’t know what happens but it always have been like this? I remember when I was like, a teenager and I was so Christmas horny I ended up jerking off to Arnold Schwarzenegger in Jingle all the way” he confessed covering his face right away and Jamin started laughing and hugged him

“Oh my god, Shane!” Jamin replied outraged but when he gave it a second though it  was kinda hot. “Hey I’m not complaining though” he reassured him. Right by Shane’s side there was a bottle of lube almost empty, handcuffs, a gag ball, and two dildos of different sizes and functions. Jamin’s wrists still had purple marks. They had been on marathon for two days. 

Shane looked up at him with pitiful eyes probably remembering all the profanities he made Jamin do, and rubbed his sore wrists.

“I used you as a human sex toy the last days, but I think I’m done, I swear…” he reassured him still rubbing inside his sweater.

Jamin was a bit tired, he wasn’t going to lie.

“Not too bad for a 40 year old that hasn’t exercised since Trump was elected, huh?” he put his arms around Shane and shook him nested on his chest looking down and Shane just shook his head resting peacefully on his chest again. 

They kept watching the next episode for few seconds and now Jamin was the one getting hornier. He imagined teenager Shane in his bedroom jerking off quickly afraid that he would get caught by his parents...he felt his cock throbbing again. He was very sensitive and the slightest movement of the fabric against his growing erection was giving him shivers.

He lowered down a little to whisper something on Shane’s ear that he didn’t even know, he would just say whatever was in his head.

“Slid down your boxers” he ordered and Shane immediately looked up at, his eyes in disbelief, but Jamin was very serious.

“Look, you don’t have to do thi-

Jamin interrupted him maneuvering Shane, putting some pillows underneath him and he was very curious about it so he just let him do it. 

“I want you to show me how you used to do” he said laying on his side holding his head with the palm of his hands so he could have the full view of Shane. And he suddenly got very shy. He blinked nervously a couple of times, probably overthinking about it too much.

“Whaaaa…” he hesitated a bit and then checked Jamin’s eyes again if he really meant it. He took a deep breath, and from his bulge Jamin knew he wanted. 

“Oookay” he agreed still clueless about where this was going. 

Shane arched his back a little so he could remove the boxers but Jamin stopped him.

“Don’t take it all off, let it hang, locking your legs a bit”

His boyfriend opened the sweetest smile of excitement. He dropped down just enough.

“I actually like this way…”

Shane’s cock was free bobbing up and down and Jamin took a deep sigh resisting the urge to suck it. Shane noticed and wrapped his hands around it and started to pumping it looking Jamin in the eyes but then closing letting the sensation take over. 

Jamin grinded closer to Shane’s side and started licking his neck and lifting his tank top so he could plant kisses on his stomach and nib on his nipples. Shane kept stroking his cock, the boxers making it impossible for him to open his legs wider. Shane was completely given to the feeling, grunting softly and fisting Jamin’s hair while he was kissing his stomach, swinging in circles gently his hips.

“You can take it off now...I want you to finger yourself…” Jamin whispered in Shane’s ear and he was all flustered, his dreads in the messy bun. He removed his glasses and sat propperly catching a breath and then he laid again. He looked Jamin in the eye and lowered his hand to start over again, but then bursted into laughter covering his face.

“I feel...so stupid!” he said shaking his head laughing but continued stroking his cock and seaching for Jamin’s eyes for approval. He found extremely endearing how Shane was so shy about it. He needed more encouragement than usual this time.

“You’re so hot, fuck yourself for me…I love watching you” he whispered nibbling on his ear and then Shane relaxed a bit more, and put his leg over Jamin’s hip. His erection was rubbing deliciously under Shane’s thigh.

Shane finally let himself go, one leg up inserting two fingers in and out, very slowly while his other head kept working on his cock. He was rock hard and his curved cock glistening. Jamin kept grinding on his side, listening to him whimpering to his own pleasure, the muffled laughter of the TV in the background.

Jamin’s initial plan was to not participate but he couldn’t help himself. The vision he had by his side was so arousing and beautiful, but he needed permission first, and he knew Shane was sore.

“Do you want my tongue inside you?”

“Oh my god yes…” he pleaded opening his eyes immediately and stopping what he was doing but Jamin’s hand was over his pushing the fingers back in making Shane whimper and wince with the extra pressure.

“Don’t stop”

Jamin positioned between Shane’s legs on his knees, and put a pillow under him so he could have a better access. He started thumbing his asshole, pressing it gently like a button, the thumbtip swirling around the rim, and Shane couldn't stop himself from sliding down and opening his legs wider. Shane eyes rolled back in his head when he began eating the younger man’s ass, his broad, rough tongue hungrily lapping at his sensitive hole. There were still finger marks on his cheeks and Jamin tried to smooth then.

"Mmmm" he breathed between licks, and Shane was in another dimension, his neck veins popping up, his stomach going up and down very fast. He was very close and Jamin’s cock was dripping, so he started rubbing himself too. He poked the tip of his tongue into Shane’s ass he slid two fingers inside it, all the way, knuckle deep and placed a good amount of saliva there.

"Fuck fuck fuckkkk!" Shane cried out desperatly. “I’m so close...so close…”

Jamin began pumping Shane with his now-slickened hand, every thrust causing a tiny whimper that he caught in his throat. He twirled his tongue inside his ass one more time, his nose rubbing on Shane’s balls and then he saw him coming all over his own stomach, his ass tensing up and tighs squeezing Jamin’s closer.

He moved his mouth to Shane’s ass cheek. He sucked it, he bit it while his fingers curled inside of him making him grunt even harder. Shane continued panting, covered with the white liquid on his stomach and tank top and Jamin removed his fingers and stood on his knees, pumping his own cock looking down at him.

He also came all over Shane, that opened a huge smile when he did, and when some of it dropped on his neck. 

Then Jamin collapsed by his side also in complete ecstasy, the pleasure still shooting from his head to his toes. There was a towel on the nightstand and he took it and looked at the messy state Shane was.

“I don’t even know where to start” he said holding the towel and looking down at Shane.

“You know, there’s a Rufus song….” he started speaking but he was still short of breath. “Called The Gay Messiah….that says he is baptized in cum, I think that’s me”

Jamin laughed and joined him in the mess on top of him for a kiss. He was completely covered indeed, Jamin felt the wet spots reaching through his sweater. 

“How to defile classic sitcoms” Jamin whispered on top of him, drying the sweat from Shane’s forehead with his palm. It was freezing outside and they were boiling in that room. Shane just nodded and looked over his shoulders.

“Okay, Mr. Heckles…”