#anti nessian

[nestaians]

but i was told he is a loving mate and its nesta who doesn’t deserve him🥺

Cassian’s reaction to a malnourished Feyre

Cassian’s reaction to a malnourished Nesta:

[nestaians]

does anyone else hate sjm’s women healing arc always involves around warrior training?

not all women need to become or train like warriors and to do it as a part of their healing journey. it’s one thing to teach them how to defend themselves but this isnt it

so its fantasy world with ppl having powers, there are other ways to heal or help someone heal without involving warrior training

sending these women who are in process of healing from traumatic events and still in training phase into deadly situations is not it wtf dude

but it’s made up by a kiss or sex scene so all forgiven ig?

rhysand kneeled in front of feyre and he never kneels for anyone, he loves her🥺 the ring she almost died for was his mother’s🥺

cassian made up by having sex with nesta after she was assaulted even though its obvious sex is her coping mechanism🥺

why were nesta and feyre traumatised further like that and it was never really brought up nor affected their progress?

illyrian women being allowed to train if they wish like what if they dont want to train but want to have their wings and be free? wing clippings still happen and they arent free so is training the only way out for them?

srs why do the women always end up as warriors is beyond me😐

learning how to fight doesn’t equal healing and getting stronger

learning how to fight doesn’t equal one’s strength

its weird theme sjm has going on. begging her to pick up an actual feminist and healing books

like acosf a shit show of a book was not anywhere close to a healing journey despite what sjm says, good if it worked out for her

but like cassian being nesta’s “caretaker” and having sex with her when she was in vulnerable state and him saying nasty shit was fucked up

the training to “get better” was forced upon nesta. how is this good for her? how was the hike good for her?

this is not how u help someone! u start gently, baby steps!

[bunnyshideawayy]

the thing about the whole “Cassian never said i love you to Nesta” thing is that you can’t always use the “actions speak louder than words” argument because when it really matters: i.e. an entire book from his and Nesta’s POV, his actions not only don’t match up with how mates are set up to behave toward each other, it doesn’t it seem like he even LIKES Nesta. every chance he gets he outright says he hates her, “didn’t want to be shackled to her either”, berates and verbally abuses her, acts disgusted by her, etc. mind you Rhysand never did or said any of that even when Feyre was throwing shoes at his head, because SJM has set it up that mates value each other over life itself even if they are frustrated with each other. hello?! feyre immednantly forgave rhysand for keeping medical information from her that almost cost her life and she brushed it off because “that’s her mate and he just wanted to protect her” even though she has begged him multiple times to not keep important information from her as it’s a trigger and simply not okay but anyway- so why doesn’t Cassian? most of the time people in this fandom will use scenes from Acomaf/Acowar to show Cassian really does “love and care” about Nesta. for example one i see a LOT is that Cassian never needed to say “I love you” because he crawled to Nesta when he thought he was dying from his wings being ripped up. or the end of Acowar when he tells her he wished they had more time. all this is cute or whatever but the difference is a) these books are told from a different POV than Cassian or Nesta, they were never alone, and most importantly Cassian did not know Nesta like he does in Acofas/Acosf. when it really MATTERS, when he really starts to get to know who Nesta is deep down, when he’s AlONE with her: he goes out of his way to not only show through his actions but also his words that he not only doesn’t understand Nesta, he doesn’t care to try understanding her. the more he gets to really know his mate, the more he acts and talks like he hates the woman (i’m not using “female”). the man never even THINKS about love or thinks “I love Nesta.” but i can list off countless times in his POV where he is thinking about sex with Nesta, or how much he can’t stand her, how she’s a bitch and uncooperative, it goes on and on. so no, an “i love you” isn’t NEEDED but SJM has a lot of work ahead of her if she wants to make me believe Cassian gives two flying shits about Nesta. let alone actually LOVES her unconditionally like mates are supposed to.

[kataraavatara]

would any of you be willing to post your acosf criticisms on a non tumblr blog platform under a pseudonym that sounds like a real name so i can use it in this fuckass paper i gotta write about self identifying feminist’s author’s relationship to women’s forced institutionalization at the hands of men in contemporary fiction. i don’t think i can get away with citing “tumblr user gwandas”

[nestaians]

the fact that they didn’t try other methods aside from giving nesta her space -a year of living away from her is all she got and even then cassian was stalking her, feyre forced her to come to her family gatherings and they were in some way knowing what she was up to- and then took everything away from her instantly, locking her up and claimed they were “helping her”

so. people have brought up how the priestesses could have had 'counseling' and if that is the case that means there's at least enough mental health awareness for a therapist or a counselor for Nesta but instead they did that farce of an intervention and to lock her up instead of a neutral third party mental health professional

[nova885]

A deep-dive into Nessian’s relationship

There’s this dissonance between Nesta and Cassian. It’s felt keenly throughout Nesta’s indoctrination healing arc, but it also seeps into the very foundation of their relationship.

~~~

Cassian values the physical approach most when it comes to practically everything. His ‘love’ language is corporeal, shown through lusting over Nesta’s emaciated body sex. But even then, the sex isn’t gentle. There is no aftercare. He makes a remark that would seem funny only to someone like him, right before he leaves Nesta behind after a most traumatic event.

~~~

When it comes to helping Nesta find her strength, he disregards her already existing ones. Maybe out of ignorance, obliviousness or because he doesn’t view them as worth pursuing. Her sharp intellect, her steel mind, her discernment, her courtier’s tongue, her education - they’re all dismissed.

Instead, Cassian forces Nesta down a path that she herself acknowledges isn’t the only way. It’s simply the one path he happens to know, that is the most convenient… and physical.

~~~

When it comes to Nesta asserting her boundaries lashing out, Cassian never actually questions the why beyond a surface level, if at all. Instead he pushes more rough sex, physical training and food intake control onto her in reply.

The mind can’t be healed through strictly physical approaches.

But how can Cassian help Nesta in a non-physical way when he doesn’t know her very essence, her core values, the full extent of her childhood trauma? To be loved is to be seen. The worst part is that he never bothers to learn.

~~~

Cassian never sits down simply to keep Nesta company, without demanding anything in return. No sex, no mission, no forced conversation. Just silent company, if that’s what she needs, to show her she’s not alone.

He never puts in the time or effort to make Nesta feel safe enough to open up about her past. And no, asking insensitive, blunt questions that trigger her, only to snap at her reaction in return - that’s not the sort of conversation any traumatized person needs.

When you feel that your approach is insensitive and triggering, you don’t snap back at the person. You adjust to their pace. You don’t smash their head against a wall repeatedly in order to try and break said wall down. If you truly care and wish to help, that is. Does he care more about ‘fixing’ and moulding her than he does about the actual person that is Nesta, with everything that makes her her?

And yet, with Nesta and Cassian there is no meeting her half-way. No compromising. No approaching matters on her terms.

Cassian decides on Nesta’s behalf that he takes in stride all of her discomfort and pain, if it means he gets his way. That is a deeply worrying attitude to have in a relationship toward your partner.

~~~

Nesta has never been in control of her own life. People and things keep happening to her, keeping her firmly trapped in survivor mode. There has never been time to assert boundaries, none that aren’t immediately broken anyway. There has been a hand that would guide her rather than harm her.

So Cassian and the IC taking that very fragile control Nesta has finally managed to acquire, in a way that is so abrupt - that can easily feel violating to a survivor like Nesta - is a big deal, to an extent they can’t comprehend.

~~~

Cassian refuses to change his ways. He refuses to self-reflect and admit to himself that his mindset and his approaches are the problem. That his boundary-pushing is triggering. That his abuse tough love is causing Nesta to spiral mentally.

He so graciously ‘accepts’ Nesta’s apology about hurting his feelings with her rejection. When in reality he was the one to follow her home after she expressed multiple times that she wanted to be left alone. Once again not taking no for an answer (🚩). When in reality he was the one to scream at her in public.

After the blatant physical and emotional abuse that was the hike, he treats her with a kernel of kindness only after she breaks down and expresses her devastation about hurting people (informing her own sister about the on-going reproductive abuse). He lets her shift the blame entirely onto herself when in reality it’s his lord and savior Rhysand’s fault, that Cassian was willingly complicit in. And then he immediately resorts to sex. Again.

Those instances show that he gladly lets Nesta believe she is in the wrong, when objectively she isn’t. He accepts her apologies instead of offering a much-needed one of his own. With that sort of behavior, Cassian contributes to Nesta’s self-destructive, spiraling thoughts that lead her to believe he is too good for her. Even when she outright tells him that she doesn’t deserve him, he doesn’t correct her.

This is toxic, not healthy. It doesn’t matter if it stems from obliviousness or intentional manipulation. Both reasonings are bad enough at this point.

~~~

Some relationships are more physical than others, which is okay, but it seems like in Nessian’s case they’re overcompensating for the lack of emotional connection with physical connection. Take away the sex and 90% of their relationship goes with it.

Nesta and Cassian’s issues are rooted in a lack of understanding and effective communication. There is no conscious effort, none of the emotional depth that is crucial in order for them to comprehend each other’s feelings and thought processes in a sufficient amount for an actual relationship.

How tiring does it get, having to spend a lifetime translating your soul? Especially when said lifetime spans over centuries?

[seleneprince]

ACOSF, except that Nesta refuses to move to the House of Wind and packs her bags to leave to the "human lands", but instead of actually going there, she stops at the Spring Court and kinda forces Tamlin to take her in. After all, Spring is close enough to the human lands and she's sure none of the IC would look for her Spring.

She and Tamlin clash at first, but then Nesta tells him that Feyre wanted to lock her in the House of Wind for "her own good" and Tamlin has to take a walk outside the house to not break anything because what the fuck? Those people haven't forgiven him for locking Feyre up to protect her and make him miserable because of it, but suddenly it's okay when they do it? Unbelievable.

They drink together and bond over the Night Court's hypocrisy, how they were treated by them, and Feyre. They start living together. Tamlin plays the music and Nesta dances to it. They spend time in silence in his library or taking relaxing strolls around the garden. Nesta does more healing there that she could've done in the House of Wind. Eventually, she and Tamlin become good friends.

Oh, and she meets Eris again and they actually get to know each other outside the Night Court's machinations. They have a slowburn romance and get married eventually, turning Nesta into the High Lady of Autumn. She helps Tamlin rebuild his court and strikes an alliance between both courts, and she thrives with positive relationships and a man that genuinely loves her and doesn't try to change her.

Also Lucien makes up with Tamlin and returns to Spring, adding him to Nesta's friendship circle.

[hrizantemy]

It’s genuinely amusing how Tamlin is painted as the ultimate villain in the narrative, yet before the chaos with Feyre, his entire court was ready to lay down their lives for him. Meanwhile, it’s almost comical that two-thirds of Rhysand’s court, the very individuals he relies on for military support, harbor such animosity toward him that they actively want to see him dead.

[motherrstorm]

elain: my entire world was turned upside down, my body was violated, and I'm really struggling to grasp this new lifestyle. Im not ready to face lucien or acknowledge the mate bond at all.

the ic: okay elain, that's absolutely okay. we'll let you have your space from everything + lucien and give you protection from him should you need it.

nesta: my entire world was turned upside down, my body was violated, and I'm really struggling to grasp this new lifestyle. Im not ready to face cassian or acknowledge the mate bond at all.

the ic: LMAOOO. you're going to stay with him in a house you can't leave, he's going to be your caretaker and have influence over your day to day tasks, he's going to take you on dangerous missions for us, and we don't gaf that he's fucking you when impulsively having sex is one of the reasons why we put you in the house.

ps: if you don't listen to him, we'll deport you. good luck babe💋!

[roseadleyn]

is nesta archeron truly a bitch, or are you all inherently misogynystic and expect women to be friendly and laugh freely ( or whatever bullshit sjm wrote at all times), and the minute a woman doesn't conform to your rigid standards of what makes a woman worthy of respect — which in itself is insane — you simply must demonize her and call her every derogatory name ever

[lifeisabiscuit]

Ironic how they'll write essays about how it's fine that Feyre was a bitch and rude and suspicious in the first book because she was raised to fear the fae after everything they did to humans but then when Nesta and Elain are afraid of the giant illyrian males intruding on their space and being hostile to them, all of a sudden they should be welcoming and help them and grateful that they took them back to the Night court after they were ripped out of their beds and forced to become fae (thanks in part to Feyres loose lips and Rhysand letting the Attor track Feyre to their home) without their sister, where they put them in a house they couldn't leave surrounded by the same males who hate them (or at least Nesta) even though they were raised the same as Feyre. Smh

[nestaians]

repeat after me: just because a man is seen to be a good, kind person by people, his family, does not mean he can’t be terrible or abusive to someone else

cassian is seen as a good person by feyre, by inner circle, they see him as a “good, kind hearted male” when;

cassian has constantly invaded nesta’s boundaries and harassed her

he has done it from their first meeting, back when she was human

nesta has repeatedly made it clear she does not want to be around him

“leave me alone” he does not

cassian has constantly refused to listen to nesta’s wants and needs

“i don’t want anything from you”

when she talks of how wants her ceremony and he thinks of his family’s opinions first

when she says to not call her with that nickname

cassian has constantly stalked nesta and been possessive over her

cassian has constantly pushed nesta’s buttons

because he sees interacting with her as a game rather than talking to her like a normal person

cassian has constantly said nasty stuff to nesta

“i don’t understand why your sisters love you”

“not eating won’t bring your father back”

the shackled line

cassian constantly reminds nesta of things he believes are her wrongdoing

feyre hunting

cassian has constantly pushed nesta to her breaking point

the nasty comments

the hike

cassian has constantly made what happened to or what nesta does about himself

when cassian learns of what tomas did

nesta rejects him and he thinks it’s because of his upbringing

nesta opens up and talks about her childhood and he thinks that’s what she wants, a prince and makes it’s about his own upbringing

cassian has constantly tried to make nesta do things she doesn’t want nor asked about nor consent to

accept his presence

be train her to be a warrior

to make weapons and be used to win wars for rhysand

be nicer to feyre for feyre

be a part of his family

cassian has constantly let nesta down

his promises to protect her

his promises to keep her safe

him agreeing to lock her up in HoW

him laughing at her when she falls down the stairs and is hurt

him putting mor first

him sucking rhysand’s dick and not standing up for nesta when his precious high lord wants to use nesta as a weapon or worse wants her dead, instead cassian punishes her

him never saying anything to stop his family from making jokes or comments about nesta -it’s worse when u remember she has opened up to him about herself

him never standing up for nesta

him never putting nesta first

but it’s poor cassian, right? nesta was mean to him, didn’t accept his gift and broke his heart🥺

“nesta does not deserve cassian” and that i agree with, because these people are right, she does not

she deserves better

why is it okay for nesta to apologise to cassian for her having boundaries?

why is it okay for nesta to be gaslighted into believing she was in wrong?

why is it okay for nesta to think she has to earn cassian and others love after being with him?

what about cassian sexualising her when she was unhealthy?

where does cassian having sex with nesta while being her main caretaker for her recover from drinking, fucking and her trauma and her being a vulnerable emotional state come into this? it’s called taking an advantage

how is nessian not an abusive relationship?

nesta deserves a better mate, a good partner and a healthy romantic relationship where she can feel safe and be truly happy

like she has with valkyries

but it’s never going to happen with cassian bc cassian does not love nesta, he does not even like her for who she is nor sees her as her own person -like inner circle

inner circle as a whole are abusive towards nesta

cassian loves the idea of nesta, a strong proud queen, and having a mate for “someone like him” (his words, not mine) aka he has a lot of unresolved issues and he projects them onto nesta

nesta was abused as a child, then neglected and let down by her father, then sa again and again (tomas, the cauldron, etc) and now is in a toxic environment, forced to be apart of a toxic family where no one actually is there for her and is stuck with a man who does not actually love her

free her!

to summarise: cassian may be a good, kind and perfect male in the eyes of his family, but he is abusive towards nesta. men like that exist IRL

[litteraslegit]

No. of people who have claimed that Rhysand is the most powerful High Lord in Prythian:

Rhysand

Inner circle

Feyre after falling for his self-centered ass.

And no one else :)

[kataraavatara]

these were a little too real for tiktok. maybe someday…

[gwandas]

you guys ever think about how cassian’s insecurities were completely made up by the voices in his head while nesta’s insecurities are affirmed by cassian at every presenting opportunity

[ladydeath-vanserra]

imagine having Nesta being compared to royalty, to an untouchable queen only to have her end up with a man who laughs at her falling down the stairs and not the untouchable prince of the autumn court