#female friendships are life

[wanderingdreamer009]

Powerful , strong women can be friends desite the fact that they are each strong individuals.

What do these people have against good female friendships ?.... Actually, what do they have against women in general ?

Magnificent Century Season 1 + Hürrem & Nigar Kalfa, Part 4 (Parts 1,2,3,5,6)

[aestheteinreverie]

an under-appreciated joy of mid to late 20s is watching your friends starting to take care of themselves. we used to roll eyes at wellness together but now you tell me that you want to get some glass jars for meal-prepping breakfast. another friend sends me a picture of her chia seed pudding: “i used that recipe from the reel you sent.” the friend that has taken up journaling tells me to junk-journal: “you will document every mundane day of your life; it will be nice to look back on when we are old.” all these women that you grew up with, being angry with the world and hurting yourself in the process, are now taking care of themselves not just in spite of the anger, but because of it. we are finding the little things that make us happy and engaging in self care that we used to scoff at, because loving and taking care of yourself is the most revolutionary act there is.

[leonardalphachurch]

you know what. i say that all chucker is actually chuckboose in disguise but you know what the same is true for tuckington. caboose is there. he needs to be there. why are you writing tucker and wash together without their third. where is he.

[cosmicstxrs]

“Love”

Love is a beautiful feeling. Love is of various forms. The “I cannot live without you” love, the “you've my heart but you're not mine” love, the “little ball of sunshine in my chest when I'm out with you” love, the “holding hands ever so softly so that I don't break you” love, the “you look at the moon adoringly, I do the same, at you” love. Falling in love is beautiful too, the way your eyes turn into heart shapes cause you see a person who isn't even aware of how much they mean to you. The universe has all its atoms filled with love, you just have to let those atoms free, in you, in them, in everything you see, you feel and you live.

Cause living may not feel very loving to you, but loving will for sure make you feel like LIVING! ❤️

[huellitaa]

friendship breakups 🎀 . ࣪˖

OKAY. so. i was best friends with this girl for 7 years and only recently i ditched her! after so so so so long i ditched her. finally. and my god i feel SO much better.

˚₊‧꒰ა friendship ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

someone that you experience a bond with.

˚₊‧꒰ა toxic friendship ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

someone who drains you and hurts you while still considering themselves a friend.

i think one of the hardest parts of this whole situation is figuring out what makes somebody toxic for you without constantly over-romanticising all the good parts.

˚₊‧꒰ა clear signs of a toxic friendship ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

♡ dreading communication with them

♡ feeling drained after interactions

♡ being insecure and fearful around them

♡ holding off on telling them big things

♡ used as a joke way too often

♡ kept in the dark as just a "backup plan"

♡ left out & overlooked.

a friend should be somebody who hypes you up and makes you laugh and rambles for ages with you and makes dumb jokes with you and makes you happy and doesn't leave you out or make you feel alienated or upset or anything like that. it took me 4 whole years to actually realise this.

now, if you find yourself in a position where you are experiencing these signs of a toxic friendship but aren't really sure what to do, this is what i did!:

🎀𓂃 ࣪˖ weigh out the goods & bads

if you're currently stuck with somebody who makes you feel drained and insecure and whatever else may be making you feel as though maybe you should cut them off, it sounds a little weird but as somebody who works way better puzzling things out when doing it on paper, i made a whole pros and cons list of what this friendship brings to my life. having a physical representation of your confusing thought process around the whole situation can be very beneficial and help to put your thoughts into clarity so you can make a decision that actually helps and aligns with you and go from there.

🎀𓂃 ࣪˖ figure out your friendship standards

everybody always talks about having standards in romantic relationships and love and all that but i barely hear anything on standards for friendships. friendships are just as important as romantic relationships, and having standards for friendships is equally essential as it would be in a relationship if you dont want to attract scruffy, dirty, insecure people who will only drag you down. ask yourself what your ideal friend looks like; somebody who shares your interests, somebody who supports you, somebody with a similar mindset to you, similar background to you; what is it that you want in a friendship? how do you define friendship? what does that look like for you? make a list and keep it somewhere safe. refer to this when making new friends and cutting them off.

🎀𓂃 ࣪˖ think back on your actions

a harsh truth of life is sometimes we are the problem. something i did for way longer than i should have is spend time going back over my every word, every movement, every action to see if there was something i did wrong. now dont do what i did, but do just sit down for a little bit and think if there was anything you could have possibly done and bring it up with them to resolve it if you did. admitting your wrongs is not weak. it is the strongest thing one can do.

🎀𓂃 ࣪˖ get a second opinion

one thing that helped me was talking to my mum about it. me and my mum are really close so i chose her but it can be another close friend, a parent, a partner, just whatever you feel comfy with. try to put it into a hypothetical situation so that they have no prior biased views on the situation and explain to them the scenario and see what they would do and what they would say. if you have no one to do it with, then thats absolutely fine because this is completely optional and just helped me to reassure myself a bit, but you can also think of it from an outsiders perspective or if a friend was telling you that they are experiencing what you're currently going through so you can get an unbiased opinion from yourself.

🎀𓂃 ࣪˖ let yourself feel how you feel

if you need to, just sit and cry for a bit. journal, write, wallow in your own sadness for a bit if thats what you need to release it from yourself. suppressing and holding all this in is way, way worse for you than letting it out could ever be. just have one night where you rot and cry and be sad about it. this releases the negative energy you've been holding onto about it and i promise you will feel so much lighter afterwards.

🎀𓂃 ࣪˖ demonising and romanticising

in these situations, its best to keep a neutral mindset towards them. even if its toxic, they were your friends in the first place for a reason and even if you shouldn't romanticise them dont demonise them and completely despise them either because thats not good for you or them. they are still an experience you went through in your life and are to be learnt from, nothing more. respect the good parts just as much as the bad parts.

🎀𓂃 ࣪˖ dealing with conflict

something i really really worried about for years when i wanted to leave my ex-best friend was the falling out and the social backlash, seeing as she's fairly popular too. but while i was expecting sooo much backlash and conflict, it turns out that if you do it the right way, nobody really cares. sure, it might attract a little attention for a while, but trust in yourself and remembering that nobody will actually care about this in a few weeks will get you through and you can move on with your life. if people can turn against you from only hearing one side of the story, they were never your people. plus, why are you stressing about validation from people you don't even like in the first place?

🎀𓂃 ࣪˖ detachment

one thing that has saved me in many, many situations, including this one, is not giving a fuck. i will be making a post on detachment at some point but detachment in friendship breakups especially is so important because its easy to let your emotions get the best of you and control you and make irrational decisions in these situations. staying completely indifferent and detached and comfortable in yourself with you as your main priority has to be one of if not the most important part of this whole process.

🎀𓂃 ࣪˖ moving on

obviously moving on is difficult. moving on might be one of the most difficult things about the whole experience of a friendship breakup. so along with feeling the emotions and releasing them like i mentioned earlier, acknowledge that it's okay to mourn the past, even if they were bad for you. thats perfectly normal and okay. but do not let it consume you. trust in yourself and that this is for the best, and be proud of yourself for getting out of that friendship because there's so much you haven't yet learned and so many people you haven't yet met that will change your whole life in ways you can't possibly imagine right now. ♡

🎀𓂃 ࣪˖ trusting yourself

trust that no matter what's going on right now you will always be able to bounce back from it. trust your judgement and that if it makes you feel this bad, you arent overreacting, you arent overemotional, you arent just sensitive and it is genuinely affecting and impacting you. everything is an experience to be learnt and grow from and this is no different. its uncomfortable and its scary but the shift to getting everything you want is often scary and uncomfortable because of how much has to change to achieve that reality. if there's one person you're always going to have no matter what, it's going to be you. you are your own best friend. trust yourself above anybody and everybody else.

🎀𓂃 ࣪˖ actually cutting them off

one thing i did that i feel could have ended things a lot easier is not procrastinate the process of actually cutting them off. it was a little easier for me because she was ghosting me anyway so i did the same and told her no whenever she wanted me to do something because i refuse to be a second option, but if you're not comfortable with that and can't do it in a good or polite way because of whatever circumstances you might be in then just politely tell them. plan out what you wanna say in your head, dont think about it and just tell them. it will all be for the best, i promise. being uncomfortable is a part of change. you can do this.

overall, everybody enters your life and everybody leaves your life for a reason. please don't take this personally. people are not meant to stay forever. relationships are precious and fleeting, no matter what kind, and you should treasure them, good or bad, while accepting it might not be right for you anymore. people aren't supposed to stay forever and losing friends shows that you are growing. you've got this, okay? 💞💗

[claires-audience]

More barbie content yes

So, we know that when margot robbie barbie went to weird barbie and she asked her to choose between pink heels and literal brown brienstocks lmao it symbolises ed making a choice between the sparkly pinky life versus the everyday harsh world.

BUT

in the end, when barbie steps out of the car to see her gynaecologist, she is wearing pink brienstocks referring to Barbie finally finding a balance between her barbieness and the real world and letting it all sink in .

[hiddenpie]

I want to experience all the many lovers available to me in this lifetime.

I don’t want expectations, i want experiences.

No I will not play carelessly with my heart, but I am willing to risk it….thats what I feel I’ve come to do anyways.

[insummerigrieve]

[ramblingsfromthytruly]

i am in love with my best friend. platonically? romantically? probably platonic but genuinely can't bring myself to care rn if it's not cuz i'm just so grateful she's in my life

[tabellae-rex-in-sui]

I'm new to Sade so sorry if this is a stupid question, but was Sade gay? I'm currently reading Justine and noticed the passionate, semi-romantic descriptions of m/m sex, which contrast with the crude descriptions of f/m sex. I've not read all of Sade's books, but the ones I have read also feature characters who're mostly disinterested in women, who give off self-insert vibes (e.g. Dolmancé). Am I reading too much into it? IDK but I was wondering if you could shed some light.

Happy deathday to Sade!! lol

Really all that can be said with certainty is that he definitely wasn't straight lol. Like anyone who died before modern queer theory, Sade's sexuality can be difficult to label with today's terminology. He was certainly attracted to both men and women, so for simplicity's sake I just say he was bisexual. But really, who knows...

Characters that he uses as self-inserts like Dolmancé in PitB or Bressac in Justine are pretty exclusively attracted to men. Like you said, there's multiple times in his writing where characters will praise m/m sex and show blatant disgust towards sex with women. But if you look at Sade's life, there's only one known* male sex partner and many women. There's also several women Sade was in love with throughout his life, but there exists no letters of him professing love to any man. Could this be because male victims were less likely to go to the police, therefore less known to us? because women were easier to pursue in public? because even he felt the pressure of societal norms? because he kept relations with men better hidden? because any such letters or records were selectively destroyed by a relative? Who knows! It could be some, all, or none of these things. It's really up to the interpretation of the reader. The misogyny, philosophical extremism, and very culturally different ideas about sex add so many different variables to Sade's sexuality.

To add further confusion: gender and sexuality were much more correlated in Sade's writing (and seemingly in the time period in general, I mean look at the bisexual Lord Hervey being referred to as "the third sex"), male characters who get sodimized call it them "becoming women", women who put on strap-ons "become men", even women who get sodimized are masculinized: Saint-Ange says she wants to be a "Ganymede" to Dolmancé. So sodomy seemed inherently gay to Sade, regardless of the sexes involved or what roles they played. Whereas today, that's definitely not the case. Beauvoir follows along with the sexuality-gender correlation and suggests that Sade felt more feminine than masculine and his written contempt for female genitalia was a product of his own gender frustrations. From what I've read, most modern historians tend to avoid labeling Sade with anything other than "sodomite" and "libertine" only using "bisexual" and "homosexual" to label certain actions he performed like "homosexual sex" "bisexual orgy" etc. This is when the word queer is godsent.

Tldr; He's too 18th century libertine for modern labels. Colloquially, I default to calling him bi, but we'll never really know. Maybe he would have preferred gay due to his preferences/philosophies. Who knows. Safest bet is to just call him queer.

*Should go without saying but, there were obviously more. Latour is just the only named one with recorded proof.

[fitzcrozier]

[srestaaaaa]

The devastating difference between how much time it takes to write something vs how fast people read it lol

[thoughtsofcmn]

you cannot save people, you can only love them.

-cmn

[flowergirl-nextdoor]

koisenu futari ep. 1 (2022) i will be your bloom ep. 7 (2022) screenwriter: yoshida erika

[cosmicstxrs]

I don't hate myself, but I don't like myself either.

I don't disgustingly loathe myself but I don't like myself at all either. It's like I'm halfway on a bridge, where I'm neither crossing to the other side nor doing something to not let the bridge fall into the deep sea below.

Looking around, I see my acquaintances, a few whom I call friends, sipping their drinks while I'm sitting in the middle, eyeing their moon-curved eyes with an ear-to-ear smile and wondering, “what difference will my absence make here? If I walked out the room, would it even matter?” No.

I don't wanna seek attention, but what if they're waiting since eternity for me to get up and leave? What if they're all forced to like me? What if I just don't deserve to be here? Maybe they are putting up with me with all the last nerves they've got.

Maybe, I'm not unlovable, but I'm also just never enough. I know I've people who will go to any length to listen to all that I've to say, but what exactly do I tell them when I don't know what's wrong? What exactly to explain when I'm at a loss of words myself?

I'm not bad at accepting compliments.

I'm worse.

Because, someone saying to me that “I've got a pretty face” will make me question my existence if any of it is real? I'm not disregarding their love and care exactly, I'm just not the right person to say such things to. It will make me smile, your compliment will make my day and it will repeat in my mind for like 10 years, but it will make me hate myself more. Why?

Cause, you know, I'm just never enough. I never was, maybe I'll never be.

[by-kalika]

A Letter to Love -kalika