#emotionallyunstablepersonalitydisorder

[brokenfrombirth]

🎶 Where were you when everything was falling apart? 🎶

[rfarrokh]

Yes conflicting emotions can happen❣️💝#emotionalsafety #emotionsmatter #emotionsurfers #emotionaltrauma #emotionalintelligence #emotionallyunavailable #emotional #emotionallyfocusedtherapy #emotionally #emotionallydrained #emotionallyfocusedtherapy #emotionallyunstablepersonalitydisorder #emotionallyimmatureparents #rachaelsroadtorecovery #emotionalhealthmatters #emotionalhealth #emotionalhealing #emotionalawareness #emotionalabusesurvivor #emotionalabuseisstillabuse #emotionalabuserecovery #nojudgment #nojudgments #nojudgementzone #nojudgesneeded #nojudgezone #nojudgmenthere #witness #feeltheheal #soothemysoul #beatpeace https://www.instagram.com/p/CQ-hsCQJVqb/?utm_medium=tumblr

[catastrophic-existence-blog]

"Are any of my personality traits actually my own or something i picked up/stole from someone else?"

- And other things i have to ask myself, #5

~ C.C.

[mymentaltalk]

Being “bad”

Personality disorders and mood disorders like borderline personality and bipolar disorders are not really talked about on mainstream media or in society at all and definitely not as much as mental illnesses such as depression and anxiety. There’s no wonder why there’s so much stigma, ignorance and misconceptions about other complex mental health problems like borderline personality disorder and bipolar disorder.

We are all so used to seeing words like depressed, suicidal, panic attack, self harm, etc and putting them with mental illness, but that isn’t always the case. With these types of disorders, being “bad”, relapsing or having a tough time doesn’t always mean that people with mood/personality disorders are deeply depressed and suicidal, it can mean that we’re manic, hyperactive or overwhelmingly happy. We could be absolutely furious, riddled with anxiety, of course, we can also be deeply depressed and suicidal too. Sometimes (a lot in my case) quickly changing from one mood to the other, bouncing from suicidal to on top of the world from a “small” trigger. All of these emotions are intensified by a thousand, making our “happiest” and ’saddest” both unbearable.

Why is being manic a bad thing anyway? We’re happy, really happy, so what’s the problem? People never seem to understand why it’s a bad thing that I’m manic, most people don’t even see it has part of my mental illness, they just see me being better. On the outside, I must look fine, more than fine, but for me, being manic is when I’m probably most at risk of taking part in dangerous behaviour, ie: spending loads of money, alcohol/drug use, not taking my meds because I feel good now and so on. It’s just as serious as when I’m in a severely depressed episode, but no one sees that.

I’ve been accused of “faking” my mental health problems, that it “isn’t mental health" as one minute I’m “happy and loving’ and the next, I’m anything but. Clearly I just act up when it’s convenient because I was fine a minute ago. Maybe I’m just dramatic or attention seeking because you’re either depressed or you’re not, right? How can I be off sick from work for my mental health but I’m seen to be really happy, hyperactive and quite clearly finding it easy to step outside. If I’m off work for my mental health, surely I’d be depressed in bed, in a dark room, on suicide watch or something? Sometimes, yes I am because I woke up suicidal, but by the evening, I could feel like the happiest person alive.

I understand why people would look at my behaviour and accuse me of lying, faking, being attention seeking, dramatic, using the “mental health card” and so on, I really do, but if you know yourself that you’re not educated on complex mental health problems and haven’t been exposed to them before, then please try not to make statements and judgements like that on people with complex mental health problems. We’re not depressed. We are depressed. We’re happy and we’re not, we’re sometimes angry and we’re sometimes nervous, we’re everything you are but to the fullest extent all the time and go from one to the other very quickly. You don’t understand it and that’s not your fault, but making such comments to and about someone with complex mental health problems and what that does to a person, is your fault.

[summerlifeline]

How to know when to accept things or to change things

As humans it's important to reflect back on events: distressing or positive. Distressing events can help us understand what caused us to react that way or why we felt a certain way.

Some questions to ask yourself about a distressing event that happened:

What happened in this distressing situation?

What past events happened that led up to this situation?

What role did you play in this situation?

What roles did other people play in creating this situation?

What do you have control of in this situation?

What don't you have control over in this situation?

What was your response to the situation?

How did your response affect your own thoughts and feelings?

How did your response affect the thoughts and feelings of other people?

How could you have changed your response to this situation so that it led to less suffering for yourself and others?

How could the situation have occurred differently if you had decided to radically accept the situation?

Just incase anyone wanted to see an example I will use mine, which is a time when my friend didnt message me back for days and had been online and I lashed out and blocked her.

What happened in this distressing situation?

I got very upset and angry with my friend for not responding to me when I was having a mental breakdown.

What past events happened that led up to this situation?

We had been on and off again friends for years, due to me being overly clingy and her being overly distant. I felt like she wasn't being a good friend.

What role did you play in the situation?

I acted on my impulses and sent her a message telling her how I felt about her at the time (it probably wasn't very nice), and afterwards I blocked her on all social media.

What roles did other people play in creating the situation?

Instead of ignoring me, my friend could of at least sent a message at some point explain she was busy or something.

What DO you have control of in this situation?

I have control over my actions, I dont need to put up with a bad friend if I dont want to.

What DONT you have control over in this situation?

I don't have control over my friend, if she doesnt want to respond then I cant make her.

What was your response to this situation?

I responded on impulse and probably upset us both which was unnecessary.

How did your response affect the thoughts and feelings of other people?

Honestly, I dont know and I probably never will. I'll assume it probably upset her.

How could you have changed your response to this situation so that it led to less suffering for yourself and others?

I could of simply sent her a message prior, explaining how I felt when I was in a good mind set so we either could of resolved the issue or gone our separate ways peacefully.

How could the situation have occurred differently if you had decided to radically accept the situation?

I could of accepted that my friend wasn't responding, and instead of getting mad at her, try to understand that she probably had her own issues to deal with.

[bawarementally]

Depression is real #depression #depressionisreal #feelingdepressed #majordepressivedisorder #mdd #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthadvocate #mentalhealthwarrior #mentalillness #mentalillnessawareness #mentalillnesswarrior #depression #anxiety #bpd #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #eupd #emotionallyunstablepersonalitydisorder #youmatter #youareenough #youareloved #bawarementally https://www.instagram.com/p/B3nHh4gA9IJ/?igshid=ftjc3vn0uxmn

[bpd-matters-blog]

❤ #KeepTalkingMH #BPD #EUPD #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #EmotionallyUnstablePersonalityDisorder #mentalhealthmatters #mentalgrowth #mentalhealth #mentalillness #awareness #support #life #healthtalk #borderline #personalitydisorder #personalitydisorders #actuallyborderline #mentalhealthawareness #dbt #Mental #Health #Anxiety #Recovery #Depressed #Depression #Suicide #Motivation #Inspiration #Love #LetsEndTheStigma https://www.instagram.com/bpdmatters/p/BxHGDE5AnCa/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=yabxnu0b3oqy

[dragonflies-and-waterlilies]

Just a reminder that you are more than what has happened to you, whether it be abuse or trauma or anything else - you're bigger and better than what has happened to you 💙

[moon-petal-x-blog]

I got a bruise from my blood test. 

I freaked out quite a lot, I have to go for another one but it turns out I am vitamin D deficient and it is probably the cause for the excruciating pain in my back. I might have arthritis. It’s just so awful being in pain on top of such horrible mental heath problems. I cried at my blood test and I basically scream crying at some point every day my mental pain is so bad. 

[brokenfrombirth]

I forgive you for the pain and trauma, I forgive you. Most importantly, I forgive myself for how I’ve spent my life coping with the trauma you gave me.

[livinglifeonaborderline]

Is it a bpd/eupd thing to have a hard time telling the difference between romantic feelings and just liking someone as a friend/person??? Or am I just oblivious to everything including my own feelings 🙃

[cantstopme2019]

I hit a BPD downward spiral. Of course it involved a boy.

I was raped in November so intimact is a challenge right now. I wanted to be his little one as he so frequently called me but he kept pressuring me for sex. He knew why I couldn't.

I ended up asking a fwb type person who I trust with my life to please have sex with me to help shake the horror, hurt, guilt, and shame. He did. It was lovely. A few years but nothing traumatic and he held me in his arms and made me sleep afterwards.

I was excited to tell "Sir" the next morning I was over my issue I could have sex with him now just like he wanted.

"That's good babe. Can I have sex with Yas?"

The same girl my ex and the rapist cheated on me with. The same girl who said he was ugly, had no personality, ewww was a skater boy. I defended him. His eyes are beautiful, his smile is ice melting. You don't know him he's silly and sweet. Besides you know my aesthetic.

Because he was so disregarding of my feelings I said sure and give her my comic book back while you're at it. He didn't understand why I was done. He wouldn't listen that she lied to me. He called me possessive that all I do is freak out and drama.

I've told him repeatedly I have bpd. It's like he doesn't care to look up anything about it. I even told him where to look. And my friend lying to me. I don't know who to trust or believe again.

I feel like I'm crazy when I didn't do anything when it's other ppl exasperating the bpd. I hit a full spiral and self injured. Cut up my right thigh. I didn't eat for 72 hours and cried hysterically after he told me there's not enough glue to fix me.

I don't need another human to fix me. I can fix my damn self.

[catastrophic-existence-blog]

"Am I isolating myself because i'm depressed and unstable or am i depressed and unstable because i'm isolating myself?"

- And other things i have to ask myself, #8

~ C.C.

[chronicallyold-blog]

29 weeks self harm free! Been a tough few months but I know I can do this. I won't let my demons win! #recoverywin #recovery #recoverygoals #selfharmfree #selfharmrecovery #eatingdisorder #eatingdisorderrecovery #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #proud #goals #emotionallyunstablepersonalitydisorder #anxiety #depressed #depression #recoverystrong #selfcarenotselfharm https://www.instagram.com/p/BtHYT4on0aW/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1jyhcy48bwyyz