#emotionallyunavailable

[in-tenebris-et-in-solitudine]

[thetarrionj]

Tarrion & the City: "You're no Mr. Big Pt. 1"

Today, I invite you into the depths of my heart, where desires and emotions intertwine. I yearn for a love so deep, so genuine, that it can be felt in every fiber of my being. It’s a longing to be cherished and adored, to share an immense and all-encompassing love with a partner who craves the same intensity. I ache for a love that transcends mere words and resonates with the very essence of who…

[theloulouge]

Reminder Reflections 191

Someone who is emotionally unavailable will treat your basic needs as if you are asking for too much. An emotionally available person will do their best to meet your needs—and if they can’t, they will still validate them while communicating their own capacity and limits.

[ievakamb]

Something just doesn't feel right... here's why (dating advice)

[killer-fun-podcast]

A reimagine of the assassin/spy romp classic, Mr. & Mrs. Smith gets a fresh look with a somewhat altered premise, diverse casting, and some awkwardly accurate dialogue. From that fabulous plunge pool to the best locations to travel solo, we have lots to chat about.  Email us: KillerFunPodcast@gmail.com Follow us on Facebook: fb.me/KillerFunPodcast All the Tweets, er, POSTS: http://twitter.com/KillerFunPod Instagram: killerfunpodcast

[fitness-exercise-diet-videos]

7 Signs You’re Emotionally Unavailable (Detached) Do you find yourself closed off to others and can actively avoid them or any situation that will invoke… #SignsYou'reEmotionallyDetached #Psychology #EmotionallyUnavailable #Psychtogo #Psych2Go

[delstonejr]

Is it true that boys don't cry? If so, they should. Here is my blog for today.

[sandysembler]

Until I learned that I, too, was emotionally unavailable in my past relationship, did I begin to truly shift. We tend to think of emotional unavailability as a lack of emotions and an inability to be emotionally present for others. And while this is correct, what is less recognized is that if we find ourselves in relationships with people who are disconnected from their emotions and unable to be emotionally present for us - It’s highly likely that we’re also emotionally unavailable to ourselves. I see this A LOT particularly in those of us that tend toward self abandonment, people pleasing, over giving, over functioning and giving to the point of exhaustion (aka:codependency). When we’re engaging in these patterns, we’re also being emotionally unavailable to ourselves. When we’re engaging in these patterns, we are also being emotionally unavailable to ourselves. This reinforces our own trauma and we’re more likely to draw in partners and friendships that are also emotionally unavailable. They mirror back our own emotional unavailability. If we want to experience emotionally available friendships and partnerships we must first be emotionally available to ourselves. This involves dissolving early childhood beliefs + patterns that cause us to be emotionally unavailable in the first place. I INVITE YOU to: NOTICE your own patterns and behaviors. Where are you emotionally unavailable to yourself? Do you people please? Or over function? Or prioritize others’ needs above your own? CHOOSE one area first and begin to bring this pattern back into alignment. SET BOUNDARIES that prevent you from self abandoning or being unavailable to yourself. ENGAGE in inner child work to dissolve your original emotional abandonment trauma - this is where emotional unavailability stems from. Wanting some support? Check out: www.sandysembler.com/EFW (link in bio) . . . #sakredshesisterhood #emotionalintelligence #emotionallyunavailable #consciousparenting #relationshipcoach #embodiedwoman (at India) https://www.instagram.com/p/Cl0qP8LO6iq/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[6ix9inewiturmom]

Les - Chris Sturniolo

Summary: just listen to the song you’ll understand it

Warnings: EmotionallyUnavailable!Chris!, cursing, angsty-ish, Use of Y/N, crying, unestablished relationship, mentions of sexual acts

A/N: I absolutely love anything to do with childish Gambino so thanks for this request!! If you squint you can see some lyrics from Diet mtn dew from Lana del Rey in here lol ! PLOT TWIST AT THE END?!?!?!

PSA: DONT USE MY WORK FOR ISPARATION OR ANYTHING ELSE I WROTE THIS!! get creative

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Chris and i’s relationship wasn't the most ideal relationship. When we met we had both just gotten out of a long-term relationship and weren't looking for anything serious, so we made a mutual agreement to just ‘fuck around and find out’ type of relationship, but that was 2 years ago. He fucks other girls, but I hardly ever fuck anyone besides him, no one can ever make me feel as good as he does, and vice versa, because at the end of the day, I’m still the one he calls when he can’t ‘get off’ from someone else. No one knew or knows were just fuck buddies, to the outside eye, were just really good friends.

𝜗𝜚 Small flashback 𝜗𝜚

Chris had his hand around my throat in the hallway of this house party we were at, his lips explored my mouth making their way to my jaw and leaving little blueish marks on my neck.

“I hope nobody catches us” i whisper seductively with a big smirk on my face.

“But I kinda hope they catch us,” he says lifting his head with a cheeky smile on his face before placing a small kiss on my lips.

𝜗𝜚 End of flashback 𝜗𝜚

I knew the second I realized I was catching feelings for him I was fucked. I only wanted him, I could care less about any other guy if I’m being honest every time I fucked another guy I always thought about Chris, imagined his voice, his hands, and the way they traveled my body, his lips on my skin. I needed him so fucking badly.

I’m laying in bed staring at my ceiling debating whether to go to sleep or go see Chris. I needed to know if I needed to move on from him and the euphoric hold he had on me or if he actually wanted something from me.

Y/N

R u busy?

Chris?

I was debating whether to invite Kristi over but if you wanna come over feel free to 😏

Y/N

I just wanted to talk, Chris

Chris?

Doors open ma

Fuck.. Was I making a mistake? Should I turn around? This was a bad idea, I always lie to myself escaping from the fact I am in love with him. I get the courage to finally drive out of my driveway and make my way to Chris’ house for the majority of the drive, out of nervousness biting my fingernails and blasting music. What was he gonna say? What was he gonna do? Does he like me? Does he only wanna fuck me?

As I park my car in front of the triplet's house, I take a deep breath and slowly make my way up to the door. After a moment of hesitation, I open it and step inside, greeted by the familiar scent of attempted baked cookies for their YouTube channel. I climb the stairs and find Nick and Matt sitting on the couch, their phones in their hands as they laugh heartily at funny TikTok videos. The room is filled with the sound of their laughter and the glow of the screen illuminating their faces.

“Oh hey Y/N i didn't know you were coming over” nick says greeting me with a smile.

“I just came to talk to Chris, he said something about an idea he had for his personal YouTube channel and needed a ‘feminine’ touch to it” I lie laughing softly.

“Oh yeah good luck with that, kids hopeless for that channel” matt jokes smiling up at me from the couch.

With a gentle smile on my face, I make my way down the hallway towards Chris' room. As I approach his door, I raise my hand and knock softly before waiting for his response. Once I receive permission, I slowly push the door open and step inside.

“Hey ma” he smiles jumping up out of his bed and greeting me with a tight embrace with his arms around my waist pulling me into his chest before pulling away “So what'd you wanna talk about?” he continues before patting down next to him on the bed.

“Um, so I've been thinking recently, well not recently, a lot actually” I start looking down at my hands spinning my ring around on my middle finger. “Fuck it I'm just gonna go for it, I like you a lot Chris, like I know we're just friends with hidden benefits, and I know you're fucking other people, I've barely fucked anyone, and when I do I'm always thinking about you, and you just have this majestic euphoric hold over me and I can't fucking take not knowing how you feel about me any longer,” I say passionately standing up and looking at Chris and his facial expression isn't what I hoped.

“Listen Y/N,” he says standing up and grabbing my hand as if he is trying to let me down softly “You're an amazing person, you've got the best personality, and you're fucking amazing in bed” he chuckles to himself “I wanna try, but I'm in an awful guy, and I'm always away, basically what I'm trying to say is I'm a piece of shit,” he says looking deeply into my eyes.

“Chris..” I start swallowing the lump in my throat.

“No no, don't, I'm just not ready for anything serious, and if I was I would go straight to you,” he says in an attempt to make things better but fails immediately.

The tears start forming in the corners of my eyes “You're not good for me,” I say looking up at him as his hands cup my cheeks “But, Chris, baby, I want you, all of you, I can fix you,” my bottom lip goes between my teeth as a singular tear falls from my left eye. His thumb immediately wipes away the tear.

“Y/N, I'm sorry, you can't change my mind, as much as I am deeply attached to everything about you, head to toe, I can’t handle a relationship,” he says as his voice softens.

“Chris it’s been 2 years, we got out of a relationship at the same time, I'm completely over it, how much longer do I have to wait for you to be over it” my voice cracks as another tear falls down my face

“No one asking you to wait, Y/N, if you want to be in a relationship I'm sure there gonna be a guy out there that'll love and care for you,” he says backing away and sitting down on his bed.

“Chris that's the problem, I don't want anyone but you, YOU Christopher, just you” I sniffle out.

“I'm not really sure what to tell you, Y/N, I've spoken my peace, either you can agree to it, or not, cause to me I'm perfectly fine just fucking around,” he says almost unbothered at the face in standing in front of him pouring my heart out just for him destroy it.

I press my lips together and nod “Well if you change your mind, or come to your senses about these gold digger fuckers you bringing over to your damn house please feel free to contact me, if not, don't contact me” I say walking out slamming his door causing an array of stares from nick and matt.

“Everything okay?” matt quickly says as he notices the tears start to form in my eyes.

I take a deep breath “No but I'll be alright eventually but I'm not sure how much of me you'll be seeing around anymore” i say quickly wiping away the tear before it falls.

“Woah woah hold the fucking phone” Nick exclaims standing up and making his way toward me before bringing me into a fight embrace.

The immediate tears start flooding out of me as nick hugs me, which sends matt into a panic and immediately coming over to join the hug.

“So what happened” Matt says pulling away

“I told your brother i had feelings for him and he just acted insensitive” i sniffle out.

“You like Chris?” Nick says shockingly.

“I thought I did” I shrugged “but obviously he's not ‘ready’ for a relationship and apparently if I'm ready for a relationship then I should be in one but he wasn't really understanding I only wanted him” I dab away at my eyes which had tears forming in them.

“Kids an asshole, don't listen to him, he'll eventually figure out what he lost eventually,” Matt says almost unsure. “There's always any other single Sturinolo,” Matt says under his breath.

“What was that?” I say looking towards Matt.

“Uh nothing nothing, it doesn't matter,” he says nervously laughing and scratching the back of his head.

“Well, I better get going it's late anyway” i say giving my last hugs.

“Let me walk you out,” matt says grabbing my shoulder and leading me out the door.

“I can walk myself out matt” i smile up at him.

“Yesh I know but it'd be worth pissing off Chris if he saw me walking you out” Matt says smirking down as we make it to my car.

“Thank you matt” i wrap my hands around his neck and pull him in for a hug as his arms tightly go around my waist pulling me closer.

As we embraced each other tightly, I couldn't help but glance up toward Chris' window and notice a pair of striking blue eyes glaring down at us. The little eyes were filled with anger and disapproval, as if they were witnessing something they shouldn't. Matt was still holding me in his arms, grinning from ear to ear, but I couldn't shake off the feeling that we were being watched. Despite the warmth of the hug, I couldn't help but feel a little uneasy under the watchful gaze of those piercing blue eyes.

“Thank you matt” i say pulling away and opening the door to my car and adjusting myself in the driver seat.

“Anytime” he smiles back at me closing my driver-side door and walking back into the house.

Maybe messing around with Matt wouldn't be a bad idea, after all, Chris did say anyone would be lucky, but never said who…

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

[lycheedr3ams]

angst no comfort drabble that no one asked for

1.2k words

EmotionallyUnavailable!könig x sad!reader

TW: smut, feelings of loneliness, desperation, low self-esteem, fem!reader just wanting to feel loved, some mentions of predator/prey, slight mentions of canon-typical violence

i'm in my feels rn and this idea came to mind actually scratch that, i don't have emotions

part 1 of Relapse

being the new and pretty member of the task force wasn't as easy as everyone thought it was.

your friends would just swoon over the thought of you being surrounded constantly by tall and muscular soldiers whom they were convinced just fell to their knees at your feet.

it couldn't have been farther from the truth.

yes, you were an incredibly skilled member of the team. you were undoubtedly an essential asset, and everyone respected you. but being surrounded by men so often, even though you were definitely a woman with soft curves and plush breasts, you were usually seen as "one of the guys." it didn't matter how pretty you looked when the mission was over, with your perfume on for once, clean hair, and your favorite outfit. yes, you were pretty, but that didn't seem to really get you anywhere.

if anything, you'd been told that you were intimidating. most men had never met such a strong and determined woman such as yourself, a woman who could kill just about anyone she wanted. men wanted someone easy to manipulate, someone soft and pliable who wouldn't question them. you were the opposite of that.

sure, men on base would certainly stare at you when you wore comfy skirts when you weren't on duty, or when you'd put on makeup when you and the task force went to the bar, but that was it: just stares. no secret love letters tucked under your door, no bouquets of flowers mysteriously appearing in your locker, no advances or conversations that made you feel like a woman again. most of the time, you would pretend not to hear as the men around you constantly engaged in locker-room talk about other women on base. it was easier that way, to pretend like you didn't hear it rather than argue with these pigs until you were seeing red.

that was, until könig joined the team. he always looked at you differently than the other men on base would. he would stare at you, but it didn't always feel like that stare that men give when they're undressing you with their eyes. no, his stare was more one of quiet admiration mixed with desire. but like the others, könig never approached you, opting instead to admire you from afar. but you were growing desperate for a man's touch, having had enough of everyone saying "it'll come when you least expect it." so, you decided to try and approach könig every once in a while, trying to strike up an amiable conversation or two. on the surface, it looked like you two were just engaging in social niceties in order to work better on the task force. that was, until one night, that casual conversation led to you lying naked on his bed, with him staring at you like a hungry animal as his breathing grew heavy.

you didn't want to sleep with someone on your team, until könig. you always wanted to keep your relationships with your coworkers professional, but könig was, as cliche as it sounds, irresistible. especially with the way you felt so desired and wanted when his rough hands pawed at your soft breasts, and the way he'd just tremble in excitement when he saw your wet pussy spread and willing for him. it was the way he'd gently touch your waist when he passed you in the hallway, his nonverbal signal saying everything his mouth couldn't. you'd follow him to his room as inconspicuously as possible, your heart pounding with anticipation, knowing that within 5 seconds of stepping into his room, you would feel desired again.

könig would never kiss you though. that accursed sniper hood always stayed on, and he would never budge about that. the only time you felt his lips or his tongue was when he ate out your pussy like a starved man. sometimes, he would lick your neck or your breasts when he was feeling especially needy, but those times were rare. you never pushed him on it, but you knew the desperate look in your eyes betrayed you. but he never budged.

those nights spent under his sweaty, grunting body as he brought you to heaven and back was like a drug that you always needed more of. his hands on your skin made you feel wanted, his hard cock in your warm pussy made you feel desired, and the way he'd gently clean you with a warm, wet towel afterwards made you feel loved. but don't be mistaken: könig did not love you.

there were a fair share of nights when könig would pass you in the hallway without so much as a glance, nights he preferred to spend by himself. you'd watch him walk past you with wide eyes when you didn't feel his touch, and you wondered if maybe he had gotten tired of you. maybe you forgot to shave that day, you wondered, or maybe you didn't put on enough perfume, or maybe your outfit wasn't cute enough or maybe, worst of all, that könig was finding solace in the arms of another woman that night. you never knew what the reason was, but you always knew that on those nights, you would shed a few tears as you lay alone in your bed and just wanted, needed to feel valued.

könig never treated you any differently during work hours, which you supposed you should be grateful for. he didn't give you preferential treatment, and he also was not mean to you. he had a surprising ability to treat you like nothing ever happened between you two on most nights. he knew that he was your drug, but he never took advantage of that. könig was so professional that it made your head spin. how could he look and treat you the same way the next day after being fully sheathed inside you the night before, trembling and praising your pussy in his native tongue? you could've kissed the ground he walked on if he so asked, but he simply acted like you were nothing more than a coworker when you weren't in his bed.

something that always bothered you was that könig always wore a condom. you never got to feel the smooth, warm skin of his hard cock, except for when it was in your mouth. you knew he could see the disappointment in your eyes whenever he wrapped his cock in that accursed plastic, but he pretended not to. despite being inside you in the most intimate way possible, könig always made sure that there was a boundary between you: a boundary of pliable plastic and the fabric of his hood.

you were addicted to the way his hands and cock made you feel desired, wanted, and valued. he took you animalistically most nights and treated you as politely as ever during the day. you finally felt a woman on the nights he took you in his bed. you finally felt like someone saw you as more than a soldier, as just a human woman needing connection. maybe könig did see you like that, or maybe he didn't. you two never talked much in the bedroom. you were too scared to break whatever unspoken agreement there was between you.

despite your unspoken devotion to him, könig never budged with his boundaries or behavior. so you grew accustomed to feeling the drug of his affection only on the nights he decided to graze your waist in the hallway as he passed, and you always pretended like you were truly wanted during those precious moments.

[in-tenebris-et-in-solitudine]

[thetarrionj]

Tarrion & the City: "From City Boy to Celibentcy"

Living in the vibrant city of New York as a 27-year-old professional is an adventure in itself. From the hustle and bustle of daily life to the excitement of exploring new experiences, this concrete jungle offers a unique backdrop for love and self-discovery. In this post, I want to share my personal journey, delving into the effects of dating out of boredom, grappling with self-confidence,…

[glystenangel]

one kiss is all it takes😙✨

Simp! Satoru Gojo, Getou Suguru, Nanami Kento, & Toji Fushiguro x EmotionallyUnavail&Gn!Reader

tags/warning: slight angst but mostly fluff!, they r obsessed with youuu, reassurance and comfort, words of affirmation type beat, kinda corny but :)), v soft!!, also pretending getou is not evil here *coughs*, reader is a sorcerer also btw

summary: you're scared of getting heartbroken, but after an unplanned kiss you get all the reassurance you need from the jjk men

~less than 1k

thanks for reading and enjoy<3

________________

Why, of all people, did he have to kiss you? 

It was enough that you two flirted on an almost every day basis as you trained or ran into each other on random errands, but this? Unacceptable.

This wasn’t some vapid conversation or sparring session.

This was a kiss.

And worst of all it happened when you were at the end of what was supposed to be a casual, meaningless stop for drinks after a mission.

The man had to have been insane to even try.

Even if you had leaned into it.

Or, even if the kiss did have you melting into his arms as they encircled your figure.

Maybe because after so many seamless conversations and underneath that borrowed secrecy just outside of a random streetlight, it had felt a little too good to be true.

As if you could truly mean something to him.

Now you had no choice but to stave off any potential heartbreak by dashing in the opposite direction whenever you saw him.

Unfortunately yet predictably, this solution is short-lived.

Gojo-------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Where are you going?” 

Gojo has been popping up everywhere today.

It doesn’t matter if you’re teaching a class, overseeing spars, in the office area, or even eating lunch in your car. There he is, all pale hair and pretty grins, asking if he can talk to you.

“Bathroom.” You lie, briskly upping your pace as Gojo easily glides alongside you in the hallway.

“Liar. You’re avoiding me. It’s obvious, you know?” He clicks his tongue, tilting his head towards you as you continue walking.

“No, I’m not.” You lie again, and this seems to amuse him.

You roll your eyes, figuring the truth might get him off your tracks, “I’m going to the library…and then the bathroom after that.”

A smirk plays across his lips, and he holds out his hands.

“We should probably talk about that kiss before you get to the library then-”

You shove him into an empty classroom, and Gojo starts guffawing as you lock the door.

“Shut up for a second.” You hiss, shushing him with a glare.

He straightens, scratching at a spot above his blindfold with a tight smile.

“What’s the matter? Are you okay?”

His genuinely concerned cadence has butterflies swirling in your stomach. For someone normally so lackadaisical, he could become intensely serious in an instant.

Like he was now, with his jaw clicking shut and his stare piercing through his blindfold.

“Sorry. Everything’s fine. Really.”

He steps closer, and the hard wood of the classroom wall hits your back as you try to maintain your distance from the renowned sorcerer.

Gojo, ever observant with well, everything, furrows his brows at your lack of proximity.

“Did I… Am I doing something wrong?”

Guilt starts to set in, so you shake your head.

“I must’ve done something. Can you tell me?” His large hand hovers close to your cheek, and then he seems to think better of it as he drops his palm to his side.

You want to return it to its natural place on your skin. Maybe replicate the surreal manner he caressed your face prior to kissing you, with the pads of his fingers resting along the nape of your neck and his thumb finding precious home on your bottom lip before replacing it with the soft confidence of his own lips.

A brief grimace crosses his handsome face, wrinkling the black fabric across the bridge of his nose. It’s almost like he remembers that same, loving sweep of his fingers.

The dreamlike memory chips at your resolve, and eventually your emotions become caught in your throat.

“It’s not what you did, it’s what you might do. I don’t want my heart to break because of you.”

The admission comes out shakier than you anticipated.

A bite of your lip, and the corners of your watery vision threaten to spill out.

“I’m scared. That’s all.” You mumble quietly.

“How foolish.”

You’re about to protest until you register the tender, mournful tone of his voice.

“I would never do anything to hurt you. Okay?” Gojo leans down, tugging down his blindfold so he can look into your eyes properly.

In an instant, you’re mesmerized. 

His irises are flooded with light, and akin to nothing except adoration encapsulated.

Perfect mirrors.

You could tell he was thinking the same thing about the sight of your own eyes.

“I want to protect you…and I’m scared too. Trust me.”

He chuckles, patting your head and letting his fingertips cascade down to your cheek.

You close your eyes, kissing his knuckle when it ghosts the corner of your lip and his other hand cups the small of your back.

At that, the smile seems to return to his voice, “I care about protecting you more than my duty should allow. It’s dangerous, but I don’t mind it.”

“Why?” You tilt your head, tentatively crossing your arms behind his neck.

A sigh escapes him, but the wry smile never leaves his face.

“Because I know you’ll protect me too. I trust you as if I’ve never been betrayed before. Isn’t that stupid?”

Getou-----------------------------------------------------------------------

“Hey, I’m trying to talk to you. What are you doing?”

Getou paces behind you as you collect your things from around the sparring ring.

“Leaving.” You rifle through your gym bag on the floor, hellbent on wiping yourself down and then getting the fuck out of here.

You swore that you had brought a freshly washed one today.

The frustrated thought leaves you right as Getou waves your towel in front of your nose.

Of course, when you reach towards the square of fabric he swings it above your head, “You can’t leave.”

“I can’t?” You stand to glare at him, and he sighs as he palms a hand through his raven strands of hair.

“No,” He throws the cloth over his shoulder, “We have to talk about this. About us.”

You cross your arms in defeat, “Why? So you can pretend to care and then break my heart like nothing ever happened?”

As soon as the words leave your mouth, you feel shame sinking into the bottom of your stomach.

Getou’s entire demeanor seems to shift, and his face appears so crestfallen you can hardly look at him.

“Is that really what you think this is?” He asks, voice brimming with palpable hurt.

Saying anything seems wrong, so you remain silent, pressing your lips together and bowing your head.

“Come here.” Getou finally says, a more gentle tone lining the request.

Despite the way the request soothes you, you don’t move.

“Come on, c’mere.” He approaches you steadily, and in spite of yourself, you open your arms and allow him to hug you close.

Getou leans back with a sigh, pinching your cheek with a hand.

“I won’t let you think like that anymore. Don’t come to conclusions by yourself either, okay?”

“Okay.” You shyly accept, and he rolls his eyes with a scoff before carefully wiping at your face with the towel.

“Besides…you know you can’t get rid of me that easily, right?”

Nanami---------------------------------------------------------------------

“You’ve been avoiding me.”

Nanami has caught up to you, and he’s as straightforward and nonchalant as you expected he would be.

He probably wanted to get this situation out of the way, you infer, pressing random buttons on the water boiler to avoid eye contact. 

The blond is leaning against the counter space next to you, keenly watching your every move. His normally crisp, teal dress shirt has some missed lines, and you wonder if he had been too distracted by you to finish ironing his laundry these past few days.

It was probably best not to entertain that thought.

“No, I haven’t. Just…been busy.” You wince as your mug warms up a little too fast, splashing water on the break room counter as you quickly set it down.

Nanami jolts up and grabs your hand, wiping at it with some paper towels and the severe lines between his eyebrows deepening.

You feel your breath catch at his closeness, and you can’t help but swallow as his familiar cologne floods your senses and he frets over your accidental burn.

He seems to feel your stare, peering up at you with curiosity before you attempt to tug your hand away.

“Don’t.” Nanami breathes, covering your hand with his and effectively preventing you from moving, “Just tell me what’s wrong. I’ll fix it.”

The warmth of your hand simply being held in his seems to travel all the way up to your cheeks and the tips of your ears.

“I don’t know if you can.” You whisper truthfully.

“What is it?” He draws your hand closer, muttering softly under his breath as he examines your palm nested within his larger ones.

You chew on the side of your cheek for a moment, “I’m afraid we’re heading towards…”

Nanami lifts his chin up, meeting your eyes with a question in his gaze that makes you hesitate.

“Something.” You finish lamely, turning your face to the ground.

Nanami pulls both of your hands carefully together in his, encasing them in his firm grip.

“I want to.” He confesses, regarding your expression with quiet consideration, “Don’t you?”

The sentiment is so clear and honest that your heart squeezes.

You shake your head in an attempt to dissuade yourself, but can’t manage to bring yourself to release his hands.

“I can’t-I don’t know you completely yet. What if you break my heart?”

Nanami presses your hands to his heart, and you feel the helplessly erratic rhythm of it between your fingertips as he speaks.

“Then, I’ll give you mine.”

Toji--------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Gotcha.” 

Toji cuts off your escape route, and you let out a huff as you glare up at him.

He’s smoking a thin cigarette, the end of it jauntily balanced between his canines and poking out towards the corner of his mouth.

Your eyes flit to the floor as soon as you catch yourself outlining the scar notched over his lips.

You remember precisely how it feels.

“Leave me alone, Toji.” You mumble, and you hope it sounds more convincing out loud than in your head.

He lets out an exhale of smoke and flicks the cigarette butt onto the ground, “Look doll, I gotta apologize if I did somethin’ stupid the other night.”

You keep your eyes lowered.

“Ah, fuck. I’m sorry. Did I? I didn’t mean to, angel.”

The tone he speaks with isn’t accusatory, just gravelly with uncertainty and the smallest question of hope.

So earnest and kind it makes your heart ache.

His hand reaches towards you, and you immediately duck the pleading touch. 

“Get away from me, Toji.”

As soon as you back away though, the regret rears its head and fills your stomach.

He straightens, hand falling to his side and his broad shoulders heaving downwards. The normally rough and sarcastic man has a faint glisten in his eyes. 

You realize that you’re hurting him.

Finally, Toji rakes a hand through his dark locks as he peers through the strands that fall over his forehead, “You don’t mean that, do you?”

“Of course I don’t!”

You clap a hand over your mouth, and Toji’s widened eyes meet yours. 

That’s when you start running again.

“Hey! Hey!” You hear Toji right on your heels, and then he wraps his arms around you from behind.

The warmth of his chest on your back as you both heave in disjointed breaths forces you to stop.

The bounty hunter loosens his grip, and you stop resisting completely when he rests his cheek against yours.

“Don’t do this to me.”

You tentatively place a hand over one of his own, feeling your heartbeats syncing together, “I don’t want you to hurt me either. If you break my heart, I don’t know if I could take it.”

The dejected confession stills the air, and then to your surprise, Toji starts laughing.

The deep rumble of it tickles your ear, and when it dies down he gently turns you around.

He softly pinches your chin between his fingers, scanning your face with relaxed brows and a lazy grin, looking at you as if he had all the time in the world to do so.

“Darlin', you’re only breaking your own heart that way.”

As you absorb his words, Toji leans down to give your cheek a kiss before tucking a loose tendril of hair behind your ear.

“That should be my job.” He whispers, “Right?”

The tease has you worriedly clutching his hands, and Toji gives you a more tender, sweet kiss on the lips.

“I’m kidding, doll. I know I’m not a good guy, but I’ll take good care of your heart. And the rest of you if you’ll let me.”

Relief sinks into your chest, “Really?”

Toji nods, clusters of stars surrounding the reflection he has of you in his gaze, and this time there’s no doubt in your mind that he is telling the truth.

“I promise.”

________________

End Notes:

this is my welcome back present to u, lovely readers!! xoxo

[imsebastiantarot]

The Mini Reading…

I swear I meant to have this out sooner 😂

This will be a 3 card reading with an oracle card to see what his energy is like.

Nine of wands- he needs to rest and recuperate. Mend his wounds (?) He needs to let go of certain attachments. The imagery in this card shows the person being too exhausted to get anything done. No time currently to move on from past wounds and still enduring more. Seb accept that you can’t do everything and ask for help 😂

Five of wands (reversed)- this one has more to do with his career, there is competitiveness in his life currently and he’s been unable to bond with his costars recently. But instead of gasp confrontation he’s out ✌️ 🏃🏻. We all know this method of avoidance eventually catches up to you. But he’s usually great about getting along with his fellow costars so who is this person? Or people? 👀

The hermit (reversed)- I WANT TO BREAK FREE. I WANT TO BREAK FREEEE. He wants to be alone. But if he’s not careful the isolation may become harmful. He might get lost in his own head, which in small doses isn’t bad but that way leads to a dangerous path. Career-wise this card is telling him to confront his problems 😂. Sooo…basically he needs to communicate more openly with the people in his life. cough emotionallyunavailable?? cough

Oracle card- Flint (portal power) Flint stabilizes energy and cuts through to the core of issues. Strengthen your boundaries. Cut through the confusion to the core of the matter. But recognize lessons before you move on.

Frequency: earthy Chakra: earth star and base Timing: Scorpio Overall energy: reluctance. isolation. avoidance.

[musicbykg]

If you are still with that emotionally unavailable partner, remember that they can only love you as much as they love themselves; which is probably very little. https://lnkfi.re/thunderstorms

#childhood #childhoodtrauma #trauma #kileza #attachmentstyle #avoidantattachment #anxiousattachment #sadness #selflove #emotionally #emotionallyunavailable #jenniferlopez #selflove #thunderstorms