#emotional intelligence journey

[tessaannedesigns]

Hey everyone!

I’m excited to share my self-care journal, designed to boost your emotional intelligence and mental well-being. As a Psychology Major at Southern New Hampshire University, I’ve combined my love for psychology and graphic design to create this guide. It’s packed with exercises to help you regulate emotions and manage your mental and physical health. Plus, you’ll meet Willow the flamingo, who will support you on your self-care journey. You can order your copy today on Amazon! 💙🩷

[theambitiouswoman]

Green Flags in Communication 💚💬

"I want to know when I hurt your feelings."

This shows they are willing to understand and acknowledge the impact of their actions.

"I don't want you to feel alone in this."

This shows empathy and indicates that the person is supportive and does not want the person to deal with issues alone.

"I've been struggling with ___”

This demonstrates vulnerability and trust, as the person is open about their struggles.

"How have you been feeling about ___? I know it's been on your mind a lot."

This shows concern for the other person's issues or worries, showing that they are listening and care about what's important to the other person.

"I feel __ when you __; are you open to trying __ next time?"

This is an example of constructive communication.

"What do you need from me when this happens with your family?"

This shows awareness and sensitivity to the persons family dynamics and a willingness to provide support.

"I appreciate when you ___.”

Expressing appreciation is vital for positive reinforcement and acknowledging the efforts and qualities of the other person.

"I didn't handle that well."

This is a sign of self-awareness and accountability, recognizing one's own mistakes and being open to learning and growth.

"I'm sorry, I was wrong to say that. I'll try to be more mindful in the future."

Shows you are able to apologize genuinely and a commitment to improving behavior.

"Tell me more about that; I'm really interested in hearing your perspective."

Indicates a genuine interest in the other person's thoughts and feelings.

"I noticed you seemed a bit off today. Is everything okay?"

It shows you are attentive to the other person's emotional state and a readiness to provide support.

"I'm here for you, no matter what you need."

Offers unconditional support, creating a sense of security in the relationship.

"I love how passionate you are about your hobbies. It's inspiring to see."

Expresses admiration for the other person's interests.

"Let's work on a solution together. What do you think would be fair?"

Focusing on collaboration rather than conflict.

"I trust your judgment on this."

Trust and respect for the other person's decision-making abilities.

"Your happiness is important to me. Let's make sure you're taking time for yourself."

Prioritizes the other person's happiness and emphasizes the importance of self care.

"It's okay to feel that way. Do you want to talk about it more?"

Validates the other person's feelings.

"I appreciate how you handled that situation. You're really good at ___."

Praises specific strengths or skills, boosting the other person's self-esteem.

"I know we disagree, but I respect your point of view."

Acknowledges differences in opinion while still maintaining respect and understanding.

[astrosouldivinity]

Full Moon: Journal Prompts ☽◯☾

There will be a Full Moon on Thursday, October 17th which will be in the sign of Aries. ✨ ♈︎ ✨

💫 This is a good time for taking charge, embracing your individuality, and setting your intentions, especially around personal goals and self-empowerment.

𖥔 ݁˖ 𖥔 ݁˖ 𖥔 ݁˖ 𖥔 ݁˖ 𖥔 ݁˖ 𖥔 ݁˖ 𖥔 ݁˖ 𖥔 ˖ ݁

❤️‍🔥 1. What new beginnings do I want to manifest in my life, and how can I embody the bold, fearless, and assertive energy of Aries to support these changes? For instance, identifying decisive actions and embracing spontaneity while trusting my instincts.

‪‪♥︎ ‬2. What specific goals do I want to achieve in the coming lunar cycle? Write down actionable steps to pursue them. In other words, what tangible steps can I outline to help manifest my goals? Consider creating a vision board, developing a business plan, or setting a weekly schedule.

❤️‍🔥 3. What does personal power mean to me? How can I cultivate and express that power in my daily life? For example, personal power might mean having the confidence to speak your truth, so you could practice assertive communication in your conversations. It could also involve setting healthy boundaries, allowing you to prioritize your well-being.

‪‪♥︎ 4. What creative project have I been wanting to start or what goals have I been wanting to achieve? During this time, take a moment to reflect on what brings you joy and consider the steps you can take to bring these ideas to life. Ask yourself, how can I harness my passion to make meaningful progress with my projects or goals.

❤️‍🔥 5. What new experiences or adventures am I eager to explore, and how can I take the first step toward them? Reflect on what excites you and sparks your curiosity. Consider practical actions, such as researching opportunities, signing up for a class, or reaching out to someone who has experience in that area.

‪‪♥︎ 6. In what ways do I want to express my true self more fully, and how can I embrace my uniqueness? Reflect on the aspects of your personality, interests, or talents that you wish to share with the world. Think about practical steps, such as trying new forms of self-expression through art, writing, or performance, or engaging in activities that align with your authentic self.

𝔁𝓸𝔁𝓸- 𝓚𝓲𝓴𝓲 ❤️

𝚃𝚒𝚙 𝙹𝚊𝚛 🫙🙏🏿

[ash-says]

Creating the life that you desire requires you to be constantly in control of your emotions.

The mere act of letting your emotions control you shows how much of an unreliable person you are.

The most intelligent thing a person can be is in control of their emotions and understanding where and how to use the intensity of it for your advantage.

Don't let people take advantage of your emotions rather than leverage it by yourself.

[starlet-sky]

[nenelonomh]

emotional intelligence

emotional intelligence is your ability to perceive, understand, manage and use your own emotions in positive ways to relieve stress, communicate effectively, empathize with others, overcome challenges, and defuse conflict. it involves a set of skills that help you recognise, understand, and influence the emotions of yourself and others.

the key components of emotional intelligence are self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, empathy, and social skills. emotional intelligence is considered a critical factor for success in life because it helps you navigate social complexities, lead and motivate others, and excel in your personal and professional life. some experts suggest that emotional intelligence can be learned and strengthened, while others believe it is an innate characteristic.

an example of emotional intelligence in action is the ability to approach situations in a healthy, curious manner rather than an angry frustrated one. instead of reprimanding when someone is not acting according to standard, you can ask the person if everything is okay and listen attentively, understanding that there can be external factors affecting the other's behaviour.

by managing your emotions, and remaining calm and supportive during similar conversations, you can create a safe space for the other person to open up, and solve issues without further drama or difficulties. after you learn the change in their behaviour, you can offer support and adjust your actions to accommodate for the other persons needs.

if everyone practised a little more emotional intelligence, the world would wholly be a better place.

but let me stress this: emotional intelligence does not in any way mean changing yourself so other people can operate better. it is not being nice, it is having empathy and awareness.

let's further explore the different aspects of emotional intelligence:

self-awareness: the ability to recognise your own emotions and how they affect your thoughts and behaviour.

self-regulation: being able to manage your emotions and adapt to challenging circumstances.

motivation: to harness emotions to stay focused on your personal goals.

empathy: the ability to understand the emotions of others and respond appropriately.

social skills: to be able to build and maintain good relationships through effective communication and conflict resolution.

i already touched on misunderstanding emotional intelligence as simply being nice, but there are several common mistakes that can hinder emotional intelligence.

high emotional intelligence can sometimes be used manipulatively, influencing others without considering their best interests. this is not right! while manipulation may yield immediate results, it can have long-term negative consequences. it creates a toxic environment, hinders genuine connection and stifles growth. not to mention that depending on the context, manipulative behaviour can have legal consequences and lead to social ostracism.

emotional intelligence requires openness and vulnerability, and being too guarded can prevent the development of meaningful relationships. being guarded limits self-awareness, which is a key component of emotional intelligence. it does this by not allowing you to fully acknowledge or understand your own emotions.

to end on a more positive note, here is how you can build stronger emotional intelligence:

practice active listening: pay attention to what others are saying without interrupting. listen to understand, not just to respond.

emotional awareness: acknowledge your emotions, especially the uncomfortable ones. accept them as a normal part of life and learn from them.

identify emotions within others: pay attention to body language, tone of voice, and facial expressions to better understand how others are feeling.

understand your stressors: know what triggers your stress and build strategies to manage it. this can help you to remain calm and clear-headed in challenging situations.

healthily channel your emotions: find constructive outlets for your emotions, such as exercise, meditation, or creative activities. engaging in creative tasks allows for contemplation, giving you the space to reassess problems in your life and make plans.

develop empathy: try to see things from others' perspectives. empathy builds connection and trust.

improve social skills: work on communication, conflict resolution and cooperation. these skills are vital for building strong relationships.

self-regulation: learn to control impulsive feelings and behaviours. pause and think before acting. self-regulation leads to better decision-making and letting you avoid impulsive reactions that you might regret later. it enables you to handle pressures and challenges effectively.

self-reflection: regularly reflect on your behaviour and emotions. ask yourself why you do the things you do and how you can improve.

seek feedback. be open to constructive criticism and use it as a means to grow. ask trusted friends or colleagues for their honest opinions about your behaviour.

remember that emotional intelligence is not fixed; it can be developed and enhanced over time with practice and commitment. by focusing on these areas of improvement, you can increase your emotional intelligence, improving your interactions and relationships in all areas of life.

i hope today's post was helpful! ❤️ nene

(photo credit: pinterest)

[thebeautyofanoracle]

Law of mirror :

~ Everything that bothers you, irritates you, or you want to change in others, then it is inside you as well, which you need to heal

~ Everything that the other criticizes in you, or judge in you, and if it bothers you, or hurts you, then it is repressed within you as well, and it is necessary to work on it

~ Everything that you like and love about others, then it is inside you also

~ Everything that the other criticizes or judges in you, without affecting you, then it belongs to the other person

[travelersrest]

🦋

[s0fter-sin]

i was making a “what has it got in its pocketses” joke and realised something very interesting. gollum only ever uses “he” as a pronoun for bilbo when he says, “he stole it. he stole it”. other than that, he exclusively uses “it” when referring to bilbo. it’s interesting that the only time he recognises his humanity is when he takes the ring from him​

he views bilbo as food for the first half of the scene so why would he use a gendered pronoun for something he’s about to eat and after he hates bilbo so much that he strips him of this momentary humanity

[femmefatalevibe]

How do I sound and appear more intelligent and sophisticated? I've read books and stuff but how do I apply the knowledge in real life? How do I make my everyday vocabulary more sophisticated? Ik the general advice to read books and converse with people etc, but how do I actually apply it irl?

Hi love! Here are some of my suggestions/tips:

How do I sound and appear more intelligent and sophisticated?

Keep your language and explanations simple & concise

Speak slowly & deliberately: Take your time between sentences, and pause between your thoughts. Always think before you speak. Silences, while slightly awkward, are not always best avoided

Use the proper propositions when speaking: Avoid small grammar mistakes (know when to use less vs. fewer, I vs. me, graduated from an institution, etc.)

Articulate complex concepts into layman's terms: Break concepts down into different parts of the conceptual equation – chronically, from beginning to end or outcome to origin, simultaneously moving parts/micro-stories or situations; Use analogies (metaphors, mundane/real-life examples, or hypothetical situations) that require the same thought-process or methodology)

Apply conversational "show don't tell" when sharing a story: Describe the situation using the 5 senses to convey the implied meaning (e.g. "I could feel the pit in my stomach." vs. "I was nervous.")

Use subtle tonality to convey particularly emotional or significant points while speaking

I've read books and stuff but how do I apply the knowledge in real life?

Relate cultural references or learned concepts to add clever humor to everyday conversations

Create parallels and analogies to outside information to convey your understanding of what someone is saying, ask more thoughtful follow-up questions, or smoothly transition into a new conversation topic

How do I make my everyday vocabulary more sophisticated?

Use everyday/simple sentence structure and replace one simple word choice with another more sophisticated word that is equally apt to the message you're trying to convey

If you're ever confused about whether a particular synonym makes sense to use IRL, look at how it is used in the dictionary sentence examples and in other books/articles

Ik the general advice to read books and converse with people etc, but how do I actually apply it irl?

Reiterate a concise, simplified version of the other person's anecdotes to convey your understanding. Drive the conversation forward by asking specific follow-up questions based on one "part" of the idea or story

Use cultural parallels to convey your understanding of what the other person is saying (sounds like this TV show character, like a certain artist, historical/current event, etc.)

Leverage metaphors to connect the dots between the points you and your conversation partner are making. Make an insightful connection to break up the air time between their anecdote and contribution

Conversational word choice should be used to create vivid images in people's minds – to paint a picture of the concept, scene, emotions, or sensations one would engage with or experience if the person was living your conversation in the present moment

Learn how to use wit conversations – context and delivery are vital to its success and positive reception

Hope this helps xx

[gent-illmatic]

If the path before you is clear, you're probably on somebody else's.

[theambitiouswoman]

How to Stop Procrastinating by Managing Your Emotions

Procrastination happens when we delay doing things, and it's often connected to our emotions. Feelings like being afraid to fail, feeling worried or stressed, getting bored, or lacking motivation can all contribute to procrastination. To stop procrastinating and get more things done, it's important to learn how to handle our emotions better.

Boredom:

Break the task into smaller, more engaging sub-tasks.

Find ways to make the task more interesting or challenging.

Set a timer and work on the task for a specific amount of time, followed by a short break doing something enjoyable.

Feeling Overwhelmed:

Prioritize tasks and focus on one thing at a time.

Break the task into smaller, more manageable steps.

Delegate some parts of the task if possible or seek help from others.

Use tools like to-do lists or task management apps to stay organized.

Anxiety:

Practice deep breathing or mindfulness techniques to calm yourself.

Challenge negative thoughts and replace them with more positive and realistic ones.

Start with the easier or less intimidating aspects of the task to build momentum.

Set realistic expectations and remind yourself that it's okay to make mistakes.

Self-Doubt:

Focus on past accomplishments and successes to boost your confidence.

Seek support or feedback from others to gain reassurance.

Remind yourself of your skills and capabilities to tackle the task.

Use positive affirmations to counteract negative self-talk.

Perfectionism:

Embrace the concept of "good enough" rather than seeking perfection.

Set realistic and achievable goals for each task.

Recognize that mistakes and imperfections are part of the learning process and growth.

Indecisiveness:

Break decisions into smaller steps and make one small decision at a time.

Set a time limit for making decisions to avoid overthinking.

Trust your instincts and make the best decision you can with the information available.

Apathy or Lack of Interest:

Find aspects of the task that align with your values or long-term goals.

Break the task into smaller, more manageable parts and focus on completing one at a time.

Reward yourself for completing the task to make it more appealing.

Stress or Burnout:

Practice stress-reduction techniques such as meditation, exercise, or spending time in nature.

Break tasks into smaller steps to reduce the feeling of overwhelm.

Prioritize self-care and take breaks to avoid burnout.

Feeling Uninspired or Creatively Blocked:

Engage in activities that stimulate creativity, such as brainstorming, mind mapping, or seeking inspiration from others' work.

Start with a simple and basic version of the task to get the creative juices flowing.

Collaborate with others or seek feedback to gain new perspectives.

Fear of Success:

Identify and challenge the negative beliefs or fears that may be holding you back.

Visualize the positive outcomes of completing the task successfully.

Focus on the benefits and personal growth that come with success.

Impatience:

Break long-term goals into smaller milestones to track progress.

Practice mindfulness to stay present and patient throughout the process.

Remind yourself that progress takes time and effort.

Lack of Confidence:

Celebrate your past accomplishments to boost your confidence.

Seek support and encouragement from friends, family, or mentors.

Focus on building specific skills related to the task to increase confidence.

Avoiding Discomfort:

Acknowledge that discomfort is a natural part of growth and improvement.

Break tasks into smaller steps and tackle the more challenging aspects gradually.

Remind yourself of the long-term benefits of facing discomfort.

Overestimating Future Motivation:

Practice discipline and commit to starting tasks even when motivation is low.

Set specific deadlines for tasks to create a sense of urgency.

Establish a routine that includes regular work on the task to build consistency.

[astrosouldivinity]

New Moon: Journal Prompts (Scorpio) ˚☾⋆

There will be a New Moon on Friday, November 1st which will be in the sign of Scorpio. �� ♏︎ ✦

This is a good time for transformation, introspection, and embracing your passions. Focus on uncovering hidden truths, building emotional resilience, and setting intentions that align with your true desires. ✨ 𖣠 ✨

🧬⚕️🕯 🧬⚕️🕯 🧬⚕️🕯 🧬⚕️🕯 🧬⚕️🕯

✩ 1. In what ways can I celebrate my individuality while embracing transformation? For instance, I could explore new hobbies or creative outlets that reflect my unique interests and talents, or identify and affirm the qualities that define who I am while remaining open to change.

✩ 2. What hidden truths about myself am I ready to uncover? This could involve reflecting on past experiences that have shaped my beliefs, exploring patterns in my relationships, or identifying fears that have held me back.

✩ 3. What steps can I take to enhance my emotional intelligence and better understand my own feelings as well as those of others? How can I put myself in their shoes to gain a deeper understanding? In what ways can I relate my own experiences to theirs to foster empathy?

✩ 4. What fears am I willing to confront during this transformative period? For instance, I could explore fears related to failure, rejection, or stepping out of my comfort zone. I might also consider how these fears have influenced my decisions and relationships. What actions can I take to face these fears head-on and use them as catalysts for growth?

✩ 5. What do I need to release in order to make space for new beginnings? For instance, I could let go of limiting beliefs that hold me back, relationships that no longer serve me, or habits that hinder my growth. Also, reflecting on any emotional baggage or unresolved issues that weigh me down.

𝔁𝓸𝔁𝓸- 𝓚𝓲𝓴𝓲 🔮

𝙼𝚘𝚛𝚎 𝚒𝚗𝚏𝚘𝚛𝚖𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗 𝚘𝚗 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚖𝚢 𝚊𝚛𝚝 𝚒𝚜 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚜𝚘𝚘𝚗—𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚢 𝚝𝚞𝚗𝚎𝚍! ☺️

𝚃𝚒𝚙 𝙹𝚊𝚛 🫙🙏🏿

[sanctiphera]

The way to judge a country is to observe the way they treat their animals, their women, and their vulnerable (not necessarily in that order). That's my benchmark, always.

[umissquotedme]

Losing trust in someone we love can be incredibly painful. Trust is like a delicate thread that binds hearts together, and when it’s broken, it can feel like the world has shifted beneath our feet.

[fractal-unfoldment]

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder of Abandonment

Post-traumatic stress disorder of abandonment can range from mild to severe. It is a psychobiological condition in which earlier separation traumas can interfere with current life. You experience emotional flashbacks that flood you with anxiety in response to triggers that you may not consciously perceive, and this often leaves you with the overwhelming sense that you're no longer in control.

Signs and Symptoms

An intense fear of abandonment (overwhelming insecurity) that tends to destabilize your primary relationships in adulthood

A tendency to repeatedly subject yourself to people or experiences that lead to another loss and another trauma

Intrusive reawakening of old losses

Heightened memories of traumatic separations and other events

Conversely, complete or partial memory blocks of earlier events

Feelings of emotional detachment from past crises

Conversely, difficulty letting go of the painful feelings of old rejections and losses, which generate ongoing emotional conflict with your parents or siblings

Episodes of self-destructive behavior

Difficulty withstanding the normal emotional ups and downs of an adult relationship

Difficulty working through the normal levels of conflict and disappointment within a relationship

Extreme sensitivity to rejection

Tendency to emotionally or sexually shut down, but n ot be able to identify why

Difficulty naming your feelings

Difficulty feeling the affection and other physical comforts offered to you by a willing partner

A pendulum swing between fear of engulfment and fear of annihilation

A tendency to avoid close relationships altogether

Conversely, a tendency to rush into relationships and clamp on too quickly

Difficulty letting go because you have attached with emotional epoxy, even when your partner is unable to fulfill your needs

An excessive need for control, whether you're controlling towards others or overly self-controlled; a need to have everything perfect and done your way

Conversely, a tendency to create chaos by avoiding responsibility and procrastinating, and feeling out of control

A tendency to have unrealistic expectations and heightened reactivity toward others, creating conflict that can lead to alienation

A tendency to act impulsively without being able to put the brakes on, even when you know there could be negative consequences

A tendency toward unpredictable outbursts of anger

Source: The Journey from Abandonment to Healing by Susan Anderson