#self analysis

[softgothbabe]

I know I could be better. But holy fuck I could be WAY worse

[journey-to-balance]

 You are not what they say you are, and you are not even what they think you are. You are who you choose to be. You are the way you choose to live, to speak, to think, to wonder and to wander. You are what you are most profoundly thankful for, and what you love...

Ralph Marston, motivational speaker born at the turn of the 20th century, creator of Daily Motivator...

[bloomingsoul333]

Untitled Thought

Here they go again.

Anxiety arguing inside my heart.

How do I sweat them out of my heart is such a frozen state?

How do I sooth their souls when mine is so tangled?

...

I thought it would feel nice to enjoy a bit of normalcy before the commotion.

But it's too late. Been too late for a while...

All these moments to myself and in my head and on the floor and wet from tears-

Today I am strong.

I feel it deep in me, immersing into my soul.

Strength...

I used to run from her in fear of the things she would do to me; the things she would say in my head.

The person I would turn into.

Who I would leave behind-

Jaded into Peace.

I didn't recognize myself, and I still can't...

Who is that looking at me through my forehead?

Peering at the skin like a mirror and smiling through me...

Why can't I stop looking back?

What is this warmth I feel-

I felt so much that I froze in my thoughts.

And now I feel my right shoulder becoming warm. But I cannot see. Which I hate to admit...frightens me.

Am I thawing out or freezing into silence?

[wenclair-more-like-whenclair]

The conservative Christian childhood to queer fandom teenage years to lesbian or trans adulthood pipeline is real and needs to be studied. I was the “straight” Christian girl who had a super easy time staying pure and chaste bc fun fact I’m not attracted to men lol but I didn’t realize it at the time. I read and wrote lots of yaoi tho and loved gay shipping and voila here I am, a lesbian whose interests remain largely the same as they were in my teen years. What came first? Did my love of queer fandom open me up to the possibility of identifying as queer, or was I naturally drawn to that stuff BECAUSE I’m queer??? No idea but it’s fun to think about.

[fishnapple]

List of questions for personal reading (ref.)

This is a list for reference of the possible questions you can ask in your personal readings. It doesn't mean you can only choose these questions, you can choose them or ask your own.

Click Keep reading to see the questions.

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Religious, world issues

Health, legal matters (please seek professional help for these matters)

Yes/no questions (you could ask "how" instead) 

Specific time

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About yourself

The map to your soul, getting to know your deepest self

Your life purpose

Your biggest strength, your biggest weakness

Your masculine & feminine side

Your energetic field, what makes you magnetic?

Your most attractive traits

What hidden talents of yours that you’re not noticing?

Your inner child

Getting in touch with your creativity, the themes, what you do best

What is lurking in your shadow?

What you are repressing and how it affects you

The part that you neglected, your unexplored side

How to feel more secure and confident in yourself

What should you cultivate more in yourself?

How to heal from the past, what lessons can you learn from the past

The letter, from you to you, what can you do more for yourself

Career, study, growth and success

What would bring you good luck?

What can you bring to the world? Your gift to the world

Messages from the Universe to you

Where should you travel (career, spirituality, relationship, relaxation)

What kind of career suits you best?

The career of your choice, how will it be?

How to improve in your career/study

How will you accomplish a successful life?

Qualities that make you successful

Qualities that are detrimental to your success

What should you study?

What hobbies should you adopt ?

How to move forward in your spiritual journey

Your future home

People's perception

You through the eyes of others vs yourself

People’s first impressions of you

People's assumptions of you

How strangers view you vs how admirers view you

What people secretly think about you

Things people secretly find attractive about you

Things people wish you to know

People's projections on you

How your friends view you?

How do your colleagues view you?

How does your employer/employee view you?

How does you teacher view you?

How does a specific family member view you?

Relationships

What kind of people are you attracting into your life?

New friendship, who are they?

What blockages are there in your relationships with people?

How to heal relationship wounds?

Your fears about love and how to heal them

What kind of partner will best match you, can fulfill your soul's needs

What kind of partner won't match well with you

How does a healthy love for you feel like?

How can you find love?

Current relationship, what you need to know

Why is this person in your life? The meaning of their existence in your life

Describe your future lover

Who will you marry?

Why will they choose you?

Random things about them

Their strengths and weakness

Your married life

Future children

You as a parent

They as a parent

How will you meet them? The first meeting

First impression of each other: you vs them

The moment they fall in love with you

Did they have a particular type before meeting you?

How they will pursue you?

How will you pursue them?

How will they confess?

First date

First kiss

How will their love feel like? How will they treat you?

How do they show love?

What they love about you/ What they don’t like about you

What you love about them/ What you don’t like about them

Their love letter for you (channeled letter)         

The things they would say and do to comfort you

How will they protect the relationship?

Your needs vs their needs in relationship

How you affect each other

How you view them vs how they actually are

You in their eyes

Their hidden fears and shadow side

Their jealousy

Possible conflicts and challenges in your relationship

What do people think about you two?

18+ questions

(only about people whom you share a sexual relationship with or your future spouse/partner)

How others perceive your sexual energy?

Is there a blockage in your sexual energy?

The ideal sexual partner for you

The moment they feel desire for you & their fantasy

First time

Their sexual style, kinks, fantasy, desires

Their fantasies about you

How they will seduce you

Your sex life with them

What do they assume about you sexually?

[usedtobethelegendcreator]

Why do I like Alastor?

Listen. When your therapist starts psychoanalyzing you and it sounds like an Alastor analysis, you gotta do some soul searching. So, I’m going to list off all of our similarities. This is going to be more unorganized than usual.

1. We like being in control:

We’re both puppeteers! We like having people obey us, not the other way around. We’re very anti-submission (my therapist’s word) and don’t like being told what to do. We don’t like having people more powerful than us in the room or even in the area, because something more powerful than us is something that can override our will—and, by extension, our comfort zone and boundaries.

When it comes to romantic relationships, the healthiest solution is to find someone who’s into being dominated. (Cough cough, Vox. I told you guys I write my own kinks.)

2. We have trouble feeling sympathy and empathy:

It’s something I had to practice, but I get the feeling Alastor never bothered. I’m not very good at it, either. Then again, I’m not killing people.

3. We have violent urges:

Yeah, that is very much a thing for me. The difference is that Alastor carries them out without remorse. I usually just ignore those thoughts, or try to think of something else.

4. We mostly stick to one era of music:

Alastor has the Jazz Age, I have the 2010s. Pretty much nothing after 2020 appeals to me, outside of fan songs.

5. We don’t have breakdowns often, but when we do, it’s wild:

Alastor monologued during his. I hyperventilate during mine and feel like I’m not inside my body. Like I said, it’s wild.

6. We pull our hair:

If my hands aren’t occupied, I’ll end up with a hairball in them. But the way Alastor was tugging? With those claws? Yeesh.

7. People see our rage as impotent:

Yes, this is about the people that think Alastor’s frustration with Lucifer was “pathetic”. Yes, that did hit a powerful nerve in me. If you yell right in my ear the moment you open the door, even if I don’t already know you’re the reason there are yearly mass murders, I will immediately hate you. And contrary to a lot of bad-faith fanfiction, buttering up our ego or something is not the solution. The best way to calm us down is to be taken seriously. With Alastor, of course, the ego thing will certainly help, but it’s not the root.

8. We feel impotent when we’re enraged:

This ties in with the last one. Alastor literally grows several hundred times in size when he’s truly angry, that’s pretty obviously a self-comforting action. If I’m bigger than them, they can’t hurt me. If I’m bigger than them, nothing at all can hurt me. That kind of thing.

9. We don’t like constant change:

Alastor’s outfit (which isn’t era-accurate, according to someone much more knowledgeable than I am) is evidence that he isn’t adverse to change as a whole, but someone like Vox is a constant source of anxiety for us. It’s very hard to keep up with something that’s always changing, and we can’t get our feet on the ground and a moment to breathe. I can change which jacket I wear, but never wearing the same jacket twice? Kill me now.

10. We put on a facade around people we want to be in the good graces of:

Alastor with the hotel residents, and me with pretty much everyone. This ‘facade’ I’m talking about isn’t necessarily a fake personality, it’s a facet of our real personalities that will best appeal to the people we’re talking to. That’s another thing my therapist brought up: I’m always putting on a mask, and there’s so many that no one knows who I really am. Hell, even I don’t know at this point. Alastor’s been putting on masks for over a century. I don’t think he knows anymore, either.

I think he thinks he knows who he is, but if someone poked a hole in that image of himself as the Radio Demon, he’d shatter as easily as glass. Because he’s not 100% evil, as much as he wants to be.

11. People think we’re a danger to others, even when we’re not:

*gestures to Vaggie* *gestures to the entire fucking fandom* *gestures to my mother* *gestures to unnamed family members that didn’t even have the guts to say it to my face* It sucks. Like, thank you for taking me seriously for once??? But also no.

12. We have dramatic body language to make up for stunted facial expressions:

Alastor has his eternal smile, and I have my eternal frown. The facial expressions thing was actually brought up by a previous therapist. I’ve had to throw my arms out like a theatre kid to make sure a family member knew I wasn’t being sarcastic…I’m not a theatre kid.

13. We switch between being extreme extroverts and extreme introverts:

I’ve said before that I’m low functioning in almost everything except social interaction. I can keep up with the fastest mouths and the longest-winded, but I’ll disappear for a week and only emerge for water. Meanwhile, Alastor keeps up his overly-cheerful facade up for the whole series and disappears for two episodes. And for seven years before that.

14. When people talk shit to us, we fly off the handle at the speed of light:

Husk in the hallway scene. Lucifer, period. Vox at the end of episode two. Everyone on Tumblr and Wattpad that’s ever picked a fight with me. That one anon in particular. The list goes on.

15. We have very stunted emotions, except for anger:

I don’t know why anger is an exception, either. But we don’t see any strong emotions from Alastor besides rage (and maybe amusement), so it’s clearly a thing for him too.

16. We enjoy the smell of death:

Death smells pretty nice, actually. There’s nothing quite like it. Alastor gets it. If anyone wants the full story of Larry the Rotting Deer Carcass, let me know. I’d love to tell it.

And that’s all I can think of right now. This definitely veered into a bit of character analysis for Alastor, but then again, I was analyzing myself, so that just proves my point.

[flashypunches]

Really proud of my Parkour Civilization fic, and wanted to point out the little tid-bits I tried adding in!!

https://archiveofourown.org/works/61597891

"...tone sounding like (Evbo)’s hurt, which almost has Seawatt laughing in his face with disbelief."

"His friend blinks at that, and there is betrayal that stings their tone when they reply. It has (Evbo) swallowing down a laugh, at the sound of it."

Wanted to show how Seawatt's unconscious behaviors rubbed off on Evbo, after all that time he spent on the Fighter layer with him in this.

"This was special, Evbo wants to tell Seawatt. This was sacred, something good, something rare. Why do you treat it just like another cow or chicken? This was a player, he thinks, this was a Fighter who had fought tricky and bravely, even if they had lost in the end. Treat them with respect, he wants to demand."

Love this whole passage I wrote <3 wanted to show how since most of the people Evbo had eaten were people who he knew, and as a result of most incidents of cannibalism on the Noob layer were done by mercy, he sort of reveres the person he eats, as a form of thanks for letting him feed on them. I really hoped how he does not like Seawatt's dismissal of that sacrifice shows in this moment.

[starway7]

Y'know, when I got to the yttd memory thing in Chapter 3...B? When Gin was confirmed autistic, I was so fucking happy. Like, giddy excited. This game just outright said it, he's a person outside of it but it also makes sense with the traits we'd seen before, and that kind of rep is so hard to come by too. And a while after that, I was like, huh, why was I so elated? Like, all for representation and all that, I don't mean to take away from that. But the joy I felt was a bit strange for someone who didn't know that they could be autistic too at the time.

Anyway, now... Yeah, makes sense. Not confirmed autistic, the actual exam isn't for a couple months, but the neurologist didn't hesitate to say that I probably was. So that's a story I've got.

[basicallyanotherwitchesthing]

L. Ron Hubbard - Selbst-Analyse - New Era - 1984

[shadowqueenjude]

I'm starting to realize that the reason people either absolutely love me or absolutely despise me is that some people love brutal honesty and some people hate it. And when I get comfortable with people I'm suuuuuper sarcastic and brutally honest.

[partybi]

‘Self Reflection’ (2023) by Jakob Grosse-Ophoff

[journey-to-balance]

My life's inner work, or shadow work, has continually consisted of doing the work of cleansing the window of my mind, that it may become a mirror reflecting inspiration from the most High.

I do this, not with strenuous effort, but through quiet contemplation, through gently reaching and affirming an inward recognition.

Today I walk in the pathway of inspiration. Said inspiration intuitively guides my creative processing of ideas. I honor my boundaries, personal space and privacy so as to not ever step out of the creative flow of energy I've devoted myself to. There is an inspiration within me which governs every act, every thought, with certainty, with conviction and in peace...

Reflections, Our Journey to Balance

[wanderingmind867]

If we go through my favorite characters as a kid, perhaps my anger issues, mood swings and depression should have always been obvious. Two-Face and Martian Manhunter (although I really, really liked The Riddler too). Those two really were my favorite characters ever as a child. And now that I'm nearly 20, I have anger issues, mood swings, depression from the loss of my mother and the feeling of growing older, it sort of becomes like a self fulfilling prophecy. Perhaps the subconscious always knew how I'd end up.

Of course I loved Two-Face. I'd always been temperamental, and now that I'm older it's probably worse, and I can acknowledge how my moods skyrocket, so I'm indecisive and go from panicking and feeling nervous and nauseous to feeling calm and comfortable to feeling angry and bitter. Of course I'd love Two-Face. Of course I loved Martian Manhunter. The loneliest Justice League member. He stayed in space, watching over everyone. But he never gets appreciation himself. He's just there. Lonely, watching us from the shadows, guarding us and guiding us all. He's the light in the darkness. A man who lost everything, but who continues on. Of course I liked The Riddler. He was also temperamental, lonely (and in the case of Frank Gorshin's marvelous 60s performance) manic.

It's like a self fulfilling prophecy. Amazing what one can find out about themselves, analyzing the characters they adored and loved. Maybe I should do this with Percy Jackson and my other old interests too. I'm sure there's more to be gleaned from this method.

[gent-illmatic]

THIS COMEBACK IS PERSONAL, ITS AN APOLOGY TO MYSELF.

[pebiejeebies]

Talking to yourself is fun, but what I do with that is a bit odd..

I like to talk to myself, role play with myself, daydream while whispering/talking to myself

I’m a very creepy person… is what I would say if I actually listened to “these” kind of neurotypicals

I know im not 100% autistic / or have adhd,, but I am DEFINITELY NOT neurotypical… (and everything about my social interaction irl will explain everything :,] )

But there are just times I randomly talk.. you know?

Talk to nothing, like just talk and talk as if someone is listening to me

Talk with my cat, if he’s being annoying or too cute for me to shut up

Talk to my iPad, when I get angry that something isn’t working right on it

Talk to my.. tics..? Like when I get a tic and tell my self afterwards “it’s alright” or “calm down” as if it does something..

It’s kinda fun when I analyze myself, because now I’ve learned that I’ve become so lonely to the point I’m making up things for myself to talk to

it’s sad but I can’t help myself, I know something is wrong with me and the only thing I can do is just research and research until someone stops me and says what’s wrong with me

I know there’s something wrong, and it’s not physically, it’s mentally

I just wish I could go to some mental health professional so they can figure it out

or maybe I’m just fine

[happysadflower]

I was desperate for someone to adore me… so desperate that it was absolutely off putting.

But even if someone were to adore me, I would question their authenticity, “how could you adore someone like me?”