firasezz

[bloomingsoul333]

Untitled Thought

Here they go again.

Anxiety arguing inside my heart.

How do I sweat them out of my heart is such a frozen state?

How do I sooth their souls when mine is so tangled?

...

I thought it would feel nice to enjoy a bit of normalcy before the commotion.

But it's too late. Been too late for a while...

All these moments to myself and in my head and on the floor and wet from tears-

Today I am strong.

I feel it deep in me, immersing into my soul.

Strength...

I used to run from her in fear of the things she would do to me; the things she would say in my head.

The person I would turn into.

Who I would leave behind-

Jaded into Peace.

I didn't recognize myself, and I still can't...

Who is that looking at me through my forehead?

Peering at the skin like a mirror and smiling through me...

Why can't I stop looking back?

What is this warmth I feel-

I felt so much that I froze in my thoughts.

And now I feel my right shoulder becoming warm. But I cannot see. Which I hate to admit...frightens me.

Am I thawing out or freezing into silence?

[starway7]

Y'know, when I got to the yttd memory thing in Chapter 3...B? When Gin was confirmed autistic, I was so fucking happy. Like, giddy excited. This game just outright said it, he's a person outside of it but it also makes sense with the traits we'd seen before, and that kind of rep is so hard to come by too. And a while after that, I was like, huh, why was I so elated? Like, all for representation and all that, I don't mean to take away from that. But the joy I felt was a bit strange for someone who didn't know that they could be autistic too at the time.

Anyway, now... Yeah, makes sense. Not confirmed autistic, the actual exam isn't for a couple months, but the neurologist didn't hesitate to say that I probably was. So that's a story I've got.

[shadowqueenjude]

I'm starting to realize that the reason people either absolutely love me or absolutely despise me is that some people love brutal honesty and some people hate it. And when I get comfortable with people I'm suuuuuper sarcastic and brutally honest.

[gent-illmatic]

THIS COMEBACK IS PERSONAL, ITS AN APOLOGY TO MYSELF.

[pebiejeebies]

Talking to yourself is fun, but what I do with that is a bit odd..

I like to talk to myself, role play with myself, daydream while whispering/talking to myself

I’m a very creepy person… is what I would say if I actually listened to “these” kind of neurotypicals

I know im not 100% autistic / or have adhd,, but I am DEFINITELY NOT neurotypical… (and everything about my social interaction irl will explain everything :,] )

But there are just times I randomly talk.. you know?

Talk to nothing, like just talk and talk as if someone is listening to me

Talk with my cat, if he’s being annoying or too cute for me to shut up

Talk to my iPad, when I get angry that something isn’t working right on it

Talk to my.. tics..? Like when I get a tic and tell my self afterwards “it’s alright” or “calm down” as if it does something..

It’s kinda fun when I analyze myself, because now I’ve learned that I’ve become so lonely to the point I’m making up things for myself to talk to

it’s sad but I can’t help myself, I know something is wrong with me and the only thing I can do is just research and research until someone stops me and says what’s wrong with me

I know there’s something wrong, and it’s not physically, it’s mentally

I just wish I could go to some mental health professional so they can figure it out

or maybe I’m just fine

[wanderingmind867]

It's really hard to describe my stomach issues, because I barely ever know how to describe my own personal issues on a good day. But let me see: it usually ends up manifesting as constipation. I get constipated, and then it ends up really hurting when I do end up going bathroom. Sometimes a lot comes out, sometimes very little comes out. It doesn't feel like there's any regularity to it in that respect. Sometimes I'll feel this random feeling, almost as if i'm sore or mildly nauseous or empty stomached or something. That feeling always goes away, but I've experienced it a few times in the last little while.

But that's my best attempt at analyzing all this. Nothing about it seems life threatening or fatal. Mostly it just feels like annoying, painful and chronic stomach aches and constipation. So... I really don't know what's causing it. But I'm going to continue complaining about dealing with it, because it feels miserable to deal with.

[landofmoa]

If you know in your heart that you’re meant for something, you better fight and never give up until you achieve it!

Fuck the negative thoughts and fuck self doubt.

[sstarparade]

Why I'm a Hater

A deep and lengthy self-analysis.

I love to hate.

Thank you for reading I hope you found this enjoyable and helpful!

[saganssorcery]

Tonight's the shadow moon 🌑

I'm gonna take this opportunity to talk about my practice and what I focus on during the shadow moon phase:

Artist: 🎨Peggy Ann Mourot 🔥🖌️

Each shadow moon before the moon turns new and Luna begins to reveal her face once again, I focus on shadow work:

I have a method which I call blue booking, each day I write about the events that have taken place. The blue book is essentially a glorified diary, kinda like a book of shadows but also not. Within it I document any magick, meditations, mundane day to day life, any intense social interactions that affect me in any way, or simply my progress whatsoever, such as workout or anything else I work towards. I try to be completely honest with myself, not holding anything back. If you can't be honest with yourself, who can you be honest with?

When the shadow moon comes I go back over the previous moon tide and look for any patterns in behavior, look at my workings and document my results, or lack of, and see myself and my surroundings for what they really are. This can be a very difficult thing to do, being honest with yourself and the world at large can be a painful experience, but the truth often is, but not always. The idea is to take the obsidian knife to the soul, take a good long look at it, analyse the experiences so I am better able, in the new moon cycle, to adjust myself accordingly and approach life with an unwavering truth and honesty. It's crazy the cycles you notice when you take up such an undertaking. You are able to spot negative patterns of behaviour and learn from them, and with a bit of work change them now that you're aware. Though it's tougher when you spot these things in others that you surround yourself with, or in your environment as a whole, and realise that they are perhaps doing nothing to help you as a person, and instead realise what ever is happening is bringing the worst out of us.

Knowledge is power. When you know something is wrong because you have been observing it, especially over multiple moon cycles, you have to come to a point where you need to do something about it for the sake of your own happiness. That's probably the hardest part. That's gonna be something you'll have to be honest with yourself and others with during the next cycle to fix. It takes an extraordinary amount of courage and bravery. Exposing your own or other people's shadow you run the risk of a lash out. The shadow being revealed is often a very uncomfortable experience. By doing so you run the risk of changing your entire world as a result. People do not like it when you are brutally honest, especially when you're the type of person who usually lets things slide to keep the peace. But it's these people who probably need a practice like this most so they can spot when they are being abused in any way.

At the end of this analysis period, once it is known what the focus should be for the next cycle so we can change our experiences for the better, I cleanse myself from the previous tide and start the next tide fresh, but with more knowledge and understanding.

Shadow work can be hard, but it is an incredibly potent way at healing.

At a larger scale, when the year is over, I go back over all the summaries I do on the shadow moon and see the even longer patterns that take place. There are patterns that are so deeply rooted in the day to day they often go unnoticed. By doing this we can see how far we have come, and pat ourselves on the back, but also see what else we need to work towards for even better healing.

So on this shadow moon perhaps it would be worth having a look yourself, see everything that is taking place and perhaps start a practice like this yourself, if you haven't already. It might be hard but it's helped me become a better person, and changed my life for the better more so than almost anything else I practice.

©️Sagans Sorcery 🔥🖋️

[witlesswitnesstm]

My girlfriend gave me this idea yesterday and now I feel like going in depth.

Which Marvin Trilogy songs am I? (Non ranked)

• Unlikey Lovers

Marvin in this song reminds me a lot of myself. He constantly deflects his feelings, trying to convince both himself and Whizzer that he’s doing totally fine, which just hits way too hard. Although, Whizzer does something similar by telling Marvin to go home and stop thinking about it, neglecting his own needs, so I kind of relate to both of them in this. Just the general vibe of denial in this reminds me a lot of myself. I have some online friends (and one online partner) who I love to pieces, and my feelings towards them reminds me a lot of Cordelia, Marvin, Charlotte, and Whizzer as a friend group.

• I Have A Family

I am queer and not out of my family. That’s pretty much it. Really related to the line “In my mind I’m kissing… a man… NO, NO, NO NO, START AGAIN.” Like bro is so quick to backtrack and be like, NOPE I THOUGHT WRONG, which is a lot like me.

• Marvin’s Giddy Seizures

This connection isn’t as strong, but I tend to laugh a lot in situations that don’t call for it at all. I just laugh a lot in general. It’s probably some coping mechanism/trauma response or whatever but yeah. I remember in 7th grade, my class was watching ATLA during lunch, and the characters were like, drowning or smth, and for whatever reason, I just started laughing, and I swear to god, everyone glared at me like I was crazy.

• What More Can I Say?

Marvin’s general surprise about finally being happy sounds a lot like me. I have a wonderful girlfriend, as I’ve mentioned previously, and sometimes I wonder what I did to deserve someone like her. This whole song is basically Marvin reflecting on his own thoughts privately, and I feel that man. He only really examines who he is while alone, which is how I used to do things. (I say alone, because Whizzer is basically asleep in that song.) “We laugh, we fumble, we take it day by day” is just my approach to life in general. Also I’d definitely pull that shit of looking under the covers, that’s hilarious.

• I Can’t Sleep

I pulled an all nighter to watch In Trousers, does that explain it enough?

Notice how it’s mostly Marvin. Yeah I don’t know why god made it so I relate to this gay middle aged divorcee either.

[belog-grada-crna-princeza]

[24.08.2024.]

In the spirit of self analysis again.. people haven't been very nice (to me), in life. Maybe that's just how people are, or I am too idealistic in what I want reality to be and it always falls short, or I am too sensitive as I've been told time and time again by those exact people that kept hurting me. So when you're nice to me, even bare minimum decency, I (will) idealize you. I (will) make you into an Angel sent from Heavens above. I (will), like an abandoned stray dog, quickly be at your feet, loyal and devoted and ready to go to the ends of the damn Earth for you. I (will) excuse, paint over, and shut my eyes at anything else because you have been nice to me, once upon a time. Why? You've given me relief. A break from the world I perceive as cold, cruel, thoughtless, you've proven to me some existential truth I want to see as reality that not everyone is like that. I am not aware of this, my black & white thinking distortions. You're all good, and even worse if you get close to me, because now my survival depends on this being true. And if it isn't, I will feel self-destructive, I will feel like jumping off some tall building in the middle of a regular conversation in which I sense my safe haven has now become my greatest peril. Maybe I am asking you to be more than human, giving you all the power to hurt me, but begging you not to use it, begging you to 'be my mirror, my sword and shield' as the song says. I can never tell if there are actual monsters outside of my window or if they're just trees in a windy night. I am realizing lately though that I'm my own worst enemy in that sense. In my obsession with safety, I have become blindsided, never realizing the harm I have been doing to myself all these years, that I've always kept my enemies the closest because better the Devil you know, right? If they're all Devils anyway, what's the use in trying to claw your way out, if it's all always going to end up the same? I still need a reason to believe in human kindness, selflessness, good intentions, honesty, empathy, love... They say be what you want more of in the world and that's all fine and dandy, but I have been blinded by my ideals and my actually selfish need to see people as better than they are while simultaneously always breaking my own heart. I am not pretending to have a solution. Except maybe, just maybe, admitting that yes, it IS messed up how many shitty humans exist, and also good and evil ultimately comes down to personal choice. And also, maybe even more importantly, I realized I am *someone* too and evil towards myself is still causing someone harm. I can't be a good person if I'm causing myself harm and justifying it in any way. I always hurt for anyone who's hurting because I think, no one deserves the pain. And maybe, that includes me, too.

-Katarina

[starway7]

Sometimes I think I relate to Tsukasa's inner psyche a bit too much. Sometimes I think "man I'm like Saki but I got chronically ill later that she did." Truth is, I'm THE TENMA.

I am the world's future star and I wanna do my best to improve our band! I'm lonely at home and I'm tired of all the doctors appointments. I want to stride forward to stand out and I trail behind my friends while I cope with my health.

Take Saki's shell, Tsukasa's inside, put a dash of Toya in there, and you have me: the Ultimate Tenma.

[seeinginthedark]

If your soul is here to do a mission or multiple missions, it’s a good idea to do regular self-analysis . Checking your ego, self-reflection, analyse why your doing it , what your true motives are, make sure you aren’t falling into delusion, and things like this.

Song in the video is a song I love listening to when I’m on my missions :

Grand National- Talk amongst yourselves (Sasha remix)

[yourspiritguide-quotes]

I'm familiar with a little of Jung's material. However, I'd appreciate being directed to some reference material on shadow work.

Thanks. 😊

Sure! I highly recommend these shadow work resources below:

.

1. LonerWolf.com and their workbooks - this shadow workbook is a really useful start

.

2. Caroline Myss' Archetype Cards - these work with the concept of Jungian archetypes and include the shadow side of each archetype. Great for self-analysis

.

3. How to Befriend Your Shadow by John Monbourquette. This is a more academic book and contains very useful references to fiction and non-fiction about shadow work

.

4. Warrior, Magician, Lover, King by Rod Boothroyd - this is an excellent book to guide your personal shadow work. It's aimed at men, but I'm a woman and related to it too (simply swap "King" for "Queen"). This is by far my favourite shadow work book

.

5. Also, tarot can be used for shadow work if that's up your street. The free app Galaxy Tarot is great - look at the "reverse" section for each card to see its shadow meaning

.

I hope this helps - let me know if you have any questions 🖤

[pebiejeebies]

Am I the only one who used to eat the Oreo in this one specific way??

So like, Oreos.. (I’m boycotting them btw dw,, this is the past)

The cookie itself was always my favorite part, I’d like, scrape off the Creme as much as I could, and eat it first, then and only then will I eat the cookie itself

I hated the texture of both of them together, and I hated the mixed taste I got from both, I always loved to eat them like that and I always wondered how people would just.. eat it yk?

Like I get it if you like dunking it in milk or smth but like.. YOU DONT REMOVE THE CRÈME FROM THE COOKIE?! WHUH???!!

Oh, did I mention that I do this FOR THE WHOLE PACK, eat ALL THE CREME, THEN I will eat every cookie

I don’t eat them in bunches either, I take one cookie and take small bites cause that shit is too good to eat it whole, I take bite by bite until I finish this cookie, then onto the next one

If you give me anything similar to Oreos (I REFUSE to eat anything from that horrid company, and anything that supports israel in any fucking way)

Do not expect me to eat it like a “normal person” 😇

[happysadflower]

I was desperate for someone to adore me… so desperate that it was absolutely off putting.

But even if someone were to adore me, I would question their authenticity, “how could you adore someone like me?”