#i need to remember when to be honest and when to control myself

[shadowqueenjude]

I'm starting to realize that the reason people either absolutely love me or absolutely despise me is that some people love brutal honesty and some people hate it. And when I get comfortable with people I'm suuuuuper sarcastic and brutally honest.

[megamindsupremacy]

Avengers crossover Ford— my man installed an anti-mind control metal plate in his head for THIS?!? I just know that as soon as he is unmindcontrolled Stanley has to hold him down from preforming one-man brain surgery on himself to update it.

POOR FORD. He thought he was safe from mind control but it turns out the metal plate only shields him from Bill-related shenaniganary. If I recall correctly, Loki’s scepter was blocked by Tony’s arc reactor, but only because Loki tried to get Tony in the chest and he just couldn’t make contact with Tony’s body. So if Loki had gone for Ford’s head the guy probably would have been completely fine. Unfortunately for him his mind-control plate is only an anti-demon plate and not a “anti-infinity-stone-on-a-big-stick” plate.

And yes, 100% after the events of the Avengers movie, Ford is This Close to cracking his skull open to add some sort of Anti-Infinity-Stone-On-A-Big-Stick technology to the metal plate in his head. Stan has to forcibly restrain him from just going at it with No Plan No Anesthesia No Sterilization Fuck It We Ball 

[elliaze]

Don't take my love away | j. velaryon

Warnings: spoiler! for the book, HEAVY!angst, twincest (let's be honest they are targaryen), their age has been changed, mention of sex (nothing descriptive), inspiration from Billie Eillish - CHIHIRO

Word Count: +1900

MASTERLIST

She remembered their first kiss. 

Innocent, because it was both their first time doing it.

Forbidden, because they shouldn't do it.

Jace was her twin brother. He was born just a few minutes after her. They were always together.

Maybe that was why it seemed inevitable. Or maybe that night, when they were both two–and–ten and fought with Aemond, they needed each other more than usual. 

Which wasn't true, because they had spent every moment together for years. 

Maybe it was the emotions that were running through them. Certainly hers, because even though the stealing of Vhagar was behind them, the maesters had dressed the wound on Jace's head and the one she had on her forehead, the adrenaline was still pumping through them. 

She remembered that they had both escorted Lucerys to his chambers and waited until their younger brother had fallen asleep from exhaustion. That evening – or even that morning – they both said Luce had been incredibly brave in standing up for them and taking Aemond's eye. They had also known that, as his older siblings, they should have been defending him, not the other way. They both felt a pang of guilt, and maybe that was the reason they had kissed.

She remembered that when they had finally reached Jacaerys's chambers, he had kept saying that he should have been faster, braver, more observant. He panicked, and she was afraid her brother wouldn't be able to control his breathing.

And then she kissed him. It had been a completely innocent kiss, but it had also been a confirmation that they meant so much more to each other than mere siblings.

She remembered his first touch. One where he touched her like a man could touch a woman.

They were six–and–ten, and the whole act seemed uncertain, even awkward. They didn't know what they were doing, and all they thought about was being as close to each other as possible.

This time, it wasn't just emotions that influenced it. They were completely aware of what they were doing and didn't think for a moment about stopping it. 

They wanted each other, their kisses and touch.

They didn't care about the consequences, or that they shouldn’t have done it. They both knew that sooner or later they would be forced to marry someone neither of them loved, and they shouldn't get so attached to each other when it was only a matter of time before they had to part ways.

But they couldn't stop. 

The thought of not being by each other's side was destroying their hearts to the core.

She remembered the first I love you he said to her, not as a brother, but as a man.

It was the day their mother found out about their forbidden affair and she couldn't do anything else but announce that they would get married. That evening, Jace came to her chamber, or rather rushed inside. She was sitting nervously in front of her mirror and combing her hair, when the sound of the door opening made her turn around.

“Jace…” she started, but he was quickly at her side. He grabbed her by the shoulders, lifting her up, and then placed his hands on her cheeks. “What are you doing?"”

“I just wanted you to know how much I love you,” he confessed as honestly as she had never heard it. She felt as if her whole insides were melting under the influence of his words, as well as his gaze full of love and devotion. “You are my whole world. My life. Without you, there is no me. I love you like nothing else. I love you more than I love myself. You are the only one. You will always be.”

She had tears in her eyes when she heard his words, and at the same time she was unable to stop the charming smile and the blush that spread across her cheeks. She was happy and finally understood all those love stories she had read. In books, the couple in love were never related to each other, but in their case, she thought that it only worked in their favour.

It was inevitable.

“I love you too, Jacaerys. And I don't want to live without you. You’re everything I have and what matters to me. Our hearts are connected forever.” She confessed a moment before she connected their lips.

The kiss was calm at first, as if she just wanted to confirm her words with it. However, it quickly turned into a hot, lustful one. Her hands quickly landed in his curls, and his lifted her nightgown to her waist and stopped at her completely exposed thighs and hips. Jace lifted her up and led them to her bed. He laid her on the satin sheets, joining her immediately.

This time they knew exactly what they were doing. They both knew their bodies and knew how to extract the sweetest sounds of pleasure from each other. Their hands were clasped together the whole time, as if to make sure that it was real. She felt shivers every time he kissed her body, and Jace did not hold back to show her that everything she did was the sweetest pleasure for him.

When he entered her, their eyes met and they both connected their lips in a thirsty kiss. Their bodies moved in complete sync, as if this was what they were made for – to be together in the most intimate way possible, the closest they could be. She saw stars in her eyes, and when she came with his name on her lips, and Jace right after her, she thought this was exactly what she wanted. 

A future with Jacaerys. 

She saw them together, their children, and the whole happy, long life that lay ahead of them.

But that future didn't include them being embroiled in a bloody war. The Dance of the Dragons, they called it.

From the very beginning, they had to deal with the loss of loved ones. Lucerys, Rhaenys... Death came to them one by one, and both feared that it would eventually come for them. But every time it didn't, the fear was still there. Maybe it was their stupid luck that kept them alive. Or – as she liked to say – this world wouldn't be able to accept their deaths. They had to live because they loved each other so much that they wouldn't be able to survive without the other.

And she was rarely wrong.

And yet, this time she was.

The Battle of the Gullet was completely chaotic. The Velaryon fleet was fighting against the Triarchy with exceptional ferocity. But she didn't pay attention to which side had the upper hand at the moment. Her only goal was to find Jacaerys and Vermax. 

She didn't think she should even be there. Even though Vermithor, who had been her companion for many years, burned every enemy ship to ashes, giving the Velaryon fleet a slight advantage, all she could do was look around for the sight of the familiar dragon and its rider.

She remembered how the four of them had gone for rides many times. The young Vermax had always been relatively witty and ready to have fun with Vermithor. The old dragon might seem to ignore his younger brethren, but in the end, the two were very much bonded, in the same way as their riders.

Finally, she spotted Vermax, and somewhere on his back sat Jacaerys. Bolts and arrows flew towards them, and her heart was pounding as she realised that Jacaerys was too low and much more vulnerable to attack. She needed to do everything she could to protect them together with Vermithor, not even caring about her own safety.

However, she was unable to stop the bolts that hit Vermax. The dragon let out a terrible scream and began to fall down with its rider.

“JACE!” She screamed in horror. Her eyes misted and tears filled, and at that moment Vermithor was responsible for what had to be done. He fell down after the dead dragon, and all she could see was Vermax's body falling into the water. 

"We have to find him" she said to the dragon and Vermithor just screamed loudly and breathed fire that consumed one of the enemy ships. They circled for a while looking for Jacaerys until she finally managed to spot him on the beach not far from the fight. She could hear the sounds of battle clearly, so when she saw Jace standing on his own two feet, she knew she had to get him out of there as soon as possible before someone realised he was still alive.

Vermithor landed hard on the beach, and she slid down on his wing and ran to her brother. 

Jace was weak and wet. She also noticed an arrow in his arm, but the wound didn't seem serious enough to prevent them from escaping together.

“Y/N” she didn't hear him say her name, but she saw his lips moving. 

Jace breathed a sigh of relief when he saw that she was okay, and she did everything to get to him as quickly as possible. 

They were only a few metres away. 

A few steps away and then she would be able to take him in her arms and save him.

However, fate can be cruel. It takes away what we love without warning.

Neither she nor Jace noticed the arrow that was shot straight into his back. Jace stopped mid–step and staggered on his feet, and she had the impression that he was experiencing some worst nightmare. However, she didn't give up and still believed that they had a chance to survive. That she would manage to save him and get him to Dragonstone, where the maester would heal every wound on his body. 

There was still a chance. 

She believed in it with every fiber of her being, because if she lost him, she would die with him.

She was almost there when another arrow whistled. Jace watched her as she approached, as if he knew what was about to happen. 

There was no other thought in his head but her.

They had come into the world together. And she was also supposed to be there when he was about to leave it.

“Y/N” he ​​said to her before the last arrow hit his neck.

Jace fell, and she caught him in her arms at the last moment.

“Jace?” She whispered nervously, her voice breaking. “Jaecerys, wake up!” She touched his face, and his skin was still hot, just like it was always when she touched her. Hot dragon blood. “Jace, I beg you. I can’t live in a world without you.”

Her prayers were in vain, and when she kissed him for the last time, he was already dead.

She remembered their first kiss, touch, and declaration of love.

But she never wanted to remember the last time she tasted his lips, how he looked at her with love and told her he loved her. Their story had no right to end in such a drastic way.

They were only twenty. Their whole lives ahead of them. They deserved more time. 

They were supposed to be king and queen after they helped their mother get back what was rightfully hers. 

He had no right to die in front of her, and above all, to leave her alone in this cruel world.

She never believed in gods, but if one of them stood before her and asked her what she wanted, her answer would be only one.

Don’t take my love away from me.

She didn’t want to stay in this world when he was gone.

[snowysosturn]

Speeding Car - Matt Sturniolo Finale

64.media.tumblr.com

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18 Part 19 Part 20 Part 21 Part 22 Part 23 Part 24 Part 25 Part 26 Part 27 Part 28 Part 29 Finale

Pairing : y/n x Matt Sturniolo

Summary : After six years with your boyfriend Alex, you start to mentally check out. At a UCLA party, Alex reconnects with his childhood friend Emily, who proposes a double date with her boyfriend Matt. Your attraction to Matt grows as he pays you the first real attention you've had in years, sparking a complicated emotional journey.

Warnings : MDNI, mentions of memory loss, guilt, mentions of car accident, anxiety, angst, trauma, confusion, swearing

Matt's POV

I walked back the way we came, trying to spot Y/n. In the distance I notice a familiar car, one that I only recoginse from being parked outside Y/n’s apartment. It had to be her. Then, before I could stop myself, I found myself driving again. My hands on the wheel, heading toward the one place I knew she’d be. I let the group know they would have to Uber home, I wasn’t too sure how long this was going to take me.

When I stepped into the LA Kings Valley Ice Center, it was almost eerie how quiet it was. The place was practically empty, saved for one lone figure gliding across the ice.

I knew it was her before I even saw her face.

Y/n moved on the ice with such ease, such grace, she was born for it. Watching her skate was like watching poetry in motion. But seeing her there, knowing the way things were the last time we were here, made my chest tighten. I wanted to go to her, to explain everything, to tell her how much I had missed her, but I couldn’t move.

I stood there, frozen, until she attempted a jump, the triple Axel. But she fell. I could sense the disappointment in her, I knew she could do it, I’ve seen her do it. I took a deep breath and stepped forward, my voice breaking the silence. “You know you can do it, Y/n.”

She turned, her eyes wide with surprise as she spotted me standing by the edge of the rink. “What.. what are you doing here?” She asked, her voice shaky as she stood up, brushing the ice off her pants.

Shit. I didn’t know what to say. I was tired of the front I was putting up. I knew it was time to be vulnerable.

“I knew you’d be here..” I said, trying to keep my voice steady, but my heart was pounding.

"Wait, how did you-"

"I know you better than anyone else, Y/n," I interrupted. It was the truth. Even if she couldn’t remember everything, I did. I remembered every detail about her, every little thing that made her who she was.

She shook her head, disbelief written across her face. “How could you say that when I don’t even know myself anymore?” Her voice cracked, and it broke something inside me to see her like this, so lost, so unsure.

Standing at the edge of the rink, I watched Y/n, my heart pounding in my chest. “Maybe not” I admitted, stepping forward slowly, careful not to push her away. “But I know the you standing right here, right now. The you who comes to this rink when the world gets too heavy. The you who still feels at home on the ice, even if everything else feels out of control.”

I could see the impact of my words on her face. They impacted her, revealing a truth she didn’t want to confront. As much as she might want to push me away and deny it, in that moment, I felt like I saw her more clearly than she saw herself. But as I spoke, I noticed the tension building in her, the way she held back emotions she had buried for too long. I could feel her vulnerability, and I knew she was struggling with everything inside her.

“I don’t even understand why you’re here, Matt.” she finally said, her voice cracking slightly. The words slipped out, raw and honest. She needed answers, and I had to give them to her.

For a moment, silence enveloped us, thick and heavy. I could see the confusion in her eyes, and I understood it all too well. “I’m here because I couldn’t stay away any longer. I need to tell you everything." I said, my voice was quiet but steady. I looked into her eyes, and I could feel the weight of what was about to unfold.

“I know you’re confused, Y/n, and I don’t blame you. I should’ve been more honest with you from the start, but everything got so messed up.” The regret poured out of me, and I hoped she could sense my sincerity.

Before I knew it I was telling her everything about us. Our whole story together. The double date. My house party. Coming back for her after dropping off Emily. Playing Mario Kart. Alex’s fight. Emily and Alex going to Europe. Trying to cut her off. Nicks friendship with her. Topgolf. Venice beach. All the times I wanted to kiss her. Our first kiss. Our first night spent together. And every little bit in between. The nostalgia washed over me, reminding me of the joy we had shared. “I cared about you more than I’ve ever cared about anyone. I wanted to protect you, but I couldn’t even do that right.”

The weight of what I had to share next felt heavy in the air. “The night before Alex and Emily came home from Europe, Nick and Chris went to our friend Tara’s party. It was just the two of us in my house, and you told me that Alex and Emily were cheating on us. I thought that was it. Our way out. I was ready, Y/n. I was ready to walk away from Emily and start something real with you.”

I paused, reaching into my pocket to pull out the missing earring I had kept, The missing earring felt symbolic. As soon as she lost it, I lost her out of my life. “It must’ve fallen off in my bed when you passed out that night. You never knew this part.. but Emily found it before I could confront her. She blackmailed me. She told me that if I left her, she’d ruin your life. She’d tell Alex everything and twist it. I didn’t know what else to do. I was a coward. I should’ve fought for us, but I didn’t. She made me go to that party with her the night… I didn’t expect you to be there.”

The pain washed over me again. How clueless to everything Y/n was this whole time. "I saw the confusion on your face as you looked at me, and I felt torn between what I wanted to do and what I had to do. I wanted to pull you close, to tell you how much I cared, but instead, I had to watch you from the sidelines. I found you in the bathroom, and that was when everything spiraled. I told you that what we had was a mistake,” I admitted, the words tasting bitter on my tongue. “That it was over.”

Even though she couldn’t fully recall it, I could see the emotional scar in her eyes. I knew I shattered her heart that night, and I’d never forgive myself for it.

“You were devastated, Y/n. I saw it in your eyes. And I’m not going to act like I wasn’t devastated too, even though I had to pretend then.” My voice broke, and I took a shaky breath, the weight of my confession choking me. “I shattered your heart in that bathroom. And then.. you ran. You ran into the street.”

The horror of that night flashed in my mind like a haunting reel. My hands trembled as I brought them to my face, trying to shield myself from the memory.

“I tried to stop you. I tried to yell at you from the balcony…” I whispered, my heart racing as I relived it. “The last thing I heard you say was that you loved me. I know you were about to say you thought I loved you too, but I cut you off. I told you to get off the road... and then-”

The words got stuck in my throat, the pain too much to bear. I pressed my palms against my face, wishing I could push the memories away, but they lingered, tormenting me.

“It’s my fault.” I murmured, my voice barely audible. “All of it. You were only on that road because I made you believe what we had wasn’t real. But it was, Y/n. It was the realest thing I’ve ever had. I’ve never experienced anything like you. And I’ve been grieving you ever since.”

My confession hung heavy in the air, suffocating me with the truth of it all. The anger, confusion, and longing I’d felt since waking up in the hospital crashed over me like a tsunami wave, each feeling more overwhelming than the last.

“And I’m so sorry I never fought for you. I know I should’ve, but then Alex appeared in the hospital. You couldn’t remember me. He was acting like you were still together. You had no memory of us, and I had caused you enough pain as it was. I didn’t want to make it worse.”

“I thought I was doing the right thing. I thought it would be easier for you, that you could heal without me dragging you back into the chaos. But I was wrong. I was so wrong.”

The silence between us grew thick, filled with all the unspoken words and feelings that had been buried beneath layers of hurt. I could see the regret etched across my own face, the guilt weighing heavily on my shoulders.

“I thought I could forget you, that maybe it would make everything simpler,” I admitted, my voice trembling as I fought back tears. “But you’re unforgettable.”

I stepped closer, desperation clawing at my heart. “Y/n, I’ve spent every day since that night wishing I could take it all back. Even how I acted so standoff-ish around you. It’s because I love you. I always have.”

“I want to show you that what we had was real. I want you to relive it all. I want to fight for you, if you’ll let me.”

Y/n stood there for a long moment, her eyes glistening with unshed tears as she stared at me. I could see the conflict in her expression, the pain that lingered from everything that had happened between us. My heart pounded in my chest, unsure of what would come next. I’d just laid it all out for her. Everything I’d held back, everything I wished I could’ve changed. Now it was up to her to decide.

Then, without warning, she moved.

Before I could even process it, she was in my arms, her body crashing against mine as her arms wrapped tightly around me. She held on like I was her lifeline, clinging to me for dear life, and all I could do was wrap my arms around her in return, holding her just as tightly.

I felt her shoulders shake, her breath hitching against my chest as the tears she’d been holding back finally fell. The sound of her quiet sobs broke something deep inside of me, and I buried my face in her hair, trying to ground myself in the moment. She was here, in my arms, and she hadn’t pushed me away.

“I’m so sorry” I whispered into her hair, my voice cracking. “I’m so, so sorry for everything, Y/n.”

She didn’t say anything, just held on tighter, as if letting go would cause everything to shatter again. I could feel her tears soaking into my shirt, and it took everything in me not to break down right there with her. I didn’t deserve it, I didn’t deserve her forgiveness, her touch. But I couldn’t bring myself to let go.

We stood like that for what felt like forever, neither of us moving, neither of us speaking. Just the sound of her quiet cries and the soft hum of the ice rink around us. I felt her heartbeat against mine, her body trembling slightly as she let out everything she had been holding inside.

“I don’t know if I can trust you yet.” she said, her voice barely above a whisper.

“I’ll earn it back” I promised, my voice thick with emotion. “I swear to you, Y/n, I’ll earn it back.”

She stared at me for a long moment, her bottom lip trembling, before resting her forehead against my chest, letting out a shaky breath. Her arms loosened around me, but she didn’t pull away completely.

Y/n’s POV

I was astonished by everything I’d just heard but yet, I still felt that familiar pull to Matt again, the same one that had confused me for so long. It was almost like a battle between my head and my heart. One telling me to run, the other urging me to stay. Tears welled up in my eyes, blurring my vision as the weight of everything hit me. All I wanted in that moment was his touch, some kind of reassurance that everything wasn’t broken beyond repair. Before I could even process what I was doing, my arms were wrapped around him, holding on tight, because I couldn’t wrap my head around anything else.

Tears streamed down my face as I buried myself into his chest, my sobs muffled against his shirt. It felt like everything had been building to this moment, all the pain, the confusion, the heartbreak. It all came pouring out.

“I don’t know if I can trust you yet.” I whispered, my voice fragile, like it might shatter under the weight of those words.

“I’ll earn it back.” Matt promised, his voice thick with emotion, like he was holding on just as tightly to this moment as I was. “I swear to you, Y/n, I’ll earn it back.”

I pulled back just enough to look at him, my eyes still blurry with tears. His face was full of guilt, regret, and something else. A kind of desperation, maybe, like he was afraid this would be the last time he’d have me in his arms. My bottom lip trembled, and I placed my head against his chest again. I wasn’t sure If I was ready to fully let him back in, but I wasn’t ready to let him go either.

Everything felt so overwhelming, but I didn’t want to cry anymore. I didn’t want to feel this crushing weight, at least not right now.

“Can we just skate for a bit?” I asked softly, my voice barely audible.

Matt nodded, his hand brushing gently against my back. “Yeah, of course.”

I wiped the remaining tears from my eyes as we made our way to the ice. The rink was still completely empty, the perfect setting for this strange, emotional reunion. I stepped onto the ice first, the cool air hitting my face as I glided forward, stinging it in the process.

Matt followed, his steps surprisingly graceful. I turned back, watching as he moved along without falling.

“Wait, did you play hockey?” I asked, curious and a little impressed by how well he was keeping up.

He looked at me, shocked. “You remember that?” His voice was filled with hope, like this small memory coming back meant more than I realized.

I nodded, a small smile tugging at the corners of my lips. “Yeah, it just came to me.”

The tension between us seemed to ease a little as we skated, the ice beneath us smoothing out some of the jagged edges of our past. It wasn’t perfect, and I still wasn’t sure where things would go from here, but for now, this was enough. Just us, on the ice, trying to figure out if there’s a way back to something real.

We skated in silence for a few minutes until Matt broke it. “You should try the triple Axel.”

I turned to him, caught off guard. “What? No, I fucked it up completely there. I can barely keep my balance, and”

“I’ve seen you do it before, Y/n,” Matt said, cutting me off, his voice firm but encouraging. “You’ve nailed it before, and I know you can do it again. Don’t overthink it.”

I shook my head, nervousness creeping in. “I don’t know if I-”

“You’ve got this.” he insisted, skating in front of me, blocking my path. “Just trust yourself. Don’t think. Just do.”

I could see the belief in his eyes, and it made me pause. Matt wasn’t letting me give in to this fear. His faith in me was stronger than the doubt clawed at my thoughts.

I took a deep breath and skated to the other end of the rink, giving myself enough space to build momentum. My heart raced as I picked up speed, every nerve in my body tingling. Matt skated to the edge, watching, his eyes never leaving me.

“Don’t overthink it!” he called out again, his voice echoing in the empty rink.

I closed my eyes for a second, trying to push out all the noise in my head. Then I opened them, focused on the ice in front of me, and went for it. I launched myself into the air, spinning once, twice, three times. My body moved on instinct, and before I knew it, I was back on the ice, landing perfectly.

I did it.

Shock and excitement rushed through me as I stopped, barely believing what had just happened. “I.. I did it!” I shouted, my voice full of disbelief.

Matt’s grin stretched wide across his face. In an instant, he was skating toward me, sweeping me off my feet and spinning me around in the air. I laughed, the sound light and free, as Matt twirled me with pure joy.

“You did it!” he exclaimed, his voice full of pride as he set me down gently but kept his arms around me. “I told you, Y/n, I knew you could do it.”

I was still buzzing from the adrenaline, from the excitement of actually nailing it after all this time. I looked up at him, my breath a little shaky, my heart pounding. “I can’t believe it.”

He smiled, brushing a stray hair from my face. “Believe it. You’re incredible.”

Everything felt simple again, just me, the ice, and Matt. Nothing else mattered. Not the past, not the mistakes, just this moment of pure triumph.

“Wait, wait,” Matt said, a mischievous grin forming on his face. “You remember that time you taught me how to spin? Let me show you again.”

I laughed, stepping back to give him room as he attempted a clumsy spin. He twirled once, his arms outstretched, and I couldn’t help but laugh harder when he wobbled, barely keeping his balance. The look on his face was priceless. Full of pride, like he’d just nailed a perfect routine.

He straightened up, beaming. “See? I’ve still got it.”

Watching him, I felt a warmth spread through me, a joy that I hadn’t felt in a long time. This is fun. I enjoy this. I enjoy his company. I enjoy him. Maybe I need to trust him. Maybe it’s time to let go of the past. Maybe this was the safest way to go. Maybe this is the way it was always meant to go.

I skated closer to him, my heart racing but not with fear this time. It was something else. Something that felt right. I stopped on the ice, meeting his gaze, and in that moment, it felt like everything clicked into place.

“I want this.” I said, my voice steady but soft, surprising even myself as the words came out.

Matt’s eyes widened slightly, a mix of hope and disbelief crossing his face. “You do?”

“Yes.” I said, the certainty in my voice growing. “I want this. I want us.”

Before I could say anything more, Matt closed the distance between us, his hands gently cradling my face as he leaned in. Our lips met, the kiss soft at first, but filled with all the emotions that had been building between us for so long.

It felt like everything I’d been holding in, every doubt, every fear, melted away in that kiss. All that was left was him. Us. And for the first time in a long time, my memory felt clear.

In the following weeks, Matt and I decided to relive everything but in a new way. It felt like starting over, but with all the memories, feelings, and experiences guiding us. Our first group outing after reconnecting was to Golf’N’Stuff. Mini-golfing, of course, since Matt had made it very clear that I was absolutely terrible at hitting a golf ball any other way. He never let me live down the disaster that was Topgolf, but this time, it was going to be different.

We arrived at the course, our usual group with us, Chris, Nick, Nate, and Madi. Funny enough, Madi turned out to be the girl who was with them at the beach that night, and now I felt so ridiculous for letting myself feel jealous. It was nice to rekindle my friendship with her too and I couldn’t believe I’d ever thought otherwise.

As we made our way around the course, everyone’s competitive sides came out, especially Chris and Nate, who turned it into some sort of showdown between the two of them. Madi and Nick were more laidback, laughing at the chaos and whispering to each other as they played. But Matt? He was glued to my side, teasing me every time I lined up a shot.

“Come on, Y/n” Matt smirked, watching me carefully aim. “Don’t mess this one up. The hole’s right there.”

I shot him a playful glare. “Watch and learn.”

To my own surprise, and everyone else's, I managed to get a hole in one. I threw my hands up in victory, letting out a cheer as Matt’s jaw dropped.

“Are you kidding me?” he laughed, shaking his head in disbelief. “You’re hustling us.”

“Oh, please” I grinned, nudging him with my elbow. “I’m just that good at mini golf.”

As the game went on, I kept surprising myself. Shot after shot, I was actually doing well. By the time we reached the last hole, it was obvious. I was going to win.

Matt leaned over, giving me a mocking look. “Alright, Y/n, if you win this.. I might have to accept defeat. But just know, you’ll never beat me at Topgolf.”

I laughed, rolling my eyes. “Challenge accepted. Do you see these swings now? It’s called growth.”

I lined up my final shot, feeling a little pressure from everyone watching. But I took a deep breath, focused, and hit the ball just right. It rolled smoothly across the green and dropped into the hole.

“I win!” I cheered, jumping up and down with excitement. The group groaned playfully, but everyone was smiling.

Matt wrapped his arms around me, lifting me slightly off the ground. “Alright, you win this round, mini golf champion.”

The victory felt good, but what felt even better was how natural everything had become again. The laughter, the teasing, the warmth of being with the people I cared about. I wasn’t just rebuilding my relationship with Matt. I was reconnecting with all of them, creating new memories to replace the ones that were lost.

Our first solo date was to Santa Monica Pier, Pacific Park, to be exact. It felt close enough to Venice, where so much had happened between us, but it was still new territory. A fresh start. The moment we stepped onto the boardwalk, I felt a mix of excitement and nerves. It wasn’t just about spending the evening together. It was about creating something new, something just for us.

The sun was setting, and the sound of waves crashing against the shore filled the air as we made our way toward the rides. Matt had that familiar, easy grin on his face, and it was contagious. We grabbed some candy floss as we walked, his arm casually draped over my shoulder as he teased me about the way I was already eyeing the Ferris wheel.

"First ride?" he asked, pointing toward the towering wheel spinning in slow circles.

"Obviously, I have to ease you in first" I laughed, taking a bite of the cotton candy. "But after that, you’re going on the roller coaster with me."

Matt raised an eyebrow. "Oh, you think I’m scared of the roller coaster?"

"I know you are" I teased. "But we’ll see if you can handle it."

We got in line for the Ferris wheel, and as soon as we were in the little gondola, the world seemed to slow down. The view of the ocean stretched endlessly in front of us, and for a few moments, it felt like we were the only two people in the world. The sunset began casting orange and pink hues across the sky, and the calm of the water below was the perfect setting.

“This is nice” I said softly, leaning my head on his shoulder.

“It’s perfect” he replied, his arm tightening around me. “No distractions. Just us.”

When the ride ended, we headed straight for the next ride. Pacific Plunge, the sign read. Matt tried to act cool, but I could see the slight hesitation in his eyes. Still, he followed me into the line, determined not to back down.

As we sat in the car, I couldn’t help but grin. "Ready?"

"Always" he replied, though I could hear a hint of nerves in his voice.

The ride took off, and the thrill of the drops of the tower made me laugh uncontrollably. I glanced at Matt during the ride, and his expression was priceless. He was holding on for dear life, but there was a smile on his face too.

When we got off, he shook his head, laughing. “Alright, fine. You win this one.”

“Told you” I teased, bumping into him lightly. “But you handled it well.”

The rest of the evening was filled with more rides - the bumper cars, where Matt definitely gave me a run for my money, and the spinning swings, where we both got dizzy but couldn’t stop laughing. We played some carnival games, too, and Matt even won me a stuffed animal from the ring toss game, though I suspected the worker might’ve rigged it in his favor.

By the time we decided to leave, the lights of Pacific Park were twinkling against the night sky, and the pier was still bustling with energy. We walked along the boardwalk, hand in hand, the sounds of laughter and the distant hum of the carousel filling the air.

“This was a good day,” I said, smiling up at him.

“The best.” he replied, squeezing my hand gently. “We needed this.”

And he was right. It was exactly what we needed. A new experience, something just for us, without the weight of everything that had happened before. Just us, having fun, and building something real again.

And that brings us to the present day. Six months later and a five-and-a-half-hour flight to Boston. The city skyline faded behind us as we pulled up to Matt's family home, and his excitement was contagious.

“I can’t wait to introduce my mom and dad to my girlfriend.” Matt grinned, glancing over at me with that same boyish smile that never failed to make my heart flutter.

My mind jumped back to the memory of him asking me a few months ago. How I woke up one morning, to blueberry pancakes, cut up in to letters reading “Will U B my GF”. It was things like that that made me love Matt. The little things. He just got me.

As we stepped out of the car, I felt a mix of nerves and excitement. Meeting his family was a big step, but the way he held my hand tightly in his reassured me. We walked up the pathway, and before we even reached the door, it swung open to reveal his parents, Mary-Lou and Jimmy, both smiling warmly, arms outstretched to welcome us.

“You must be Y/n!” Mary-Lou said as she embraced me, her warmth immediately putting me at ease. “It’s so nice to finally meet you.”

"It’s so nice to meet you too!" I smiled, feeling the tension in my shoulders ease. Jimmy gave me a friendly handshake, then pulled me into a hug.

Over the course of the afternoon, we had endless conversations, swapping stories and laughs. It felt natural, like I’d known them for years. At some point, Mary-Lou turned to me, her eyes twinkling with curiosity.

“I heard you’ve qualified for the Olympics?” she asked with a proud smile.

“Yeah I can’t believe it!” I replied, glancing over at Matt with a smile. “I have Matt to thank for pushing me to get back into it.”

“That’s amazing! Getting to be a part of the Olympics in your hometown!” Mary-Lou beamed, and Jimmy nodded in approval.

The moment felt surreal. A far cry from where I was just a few months ago, lost and unsure. But here I was, not only finding my way back to skating but also standing beside someone who believed in me, maybe even more than I believed in myself.

Later that evening, after dinner and more stories shared around the table, Matt and I stepped outside onto the porch, the cool Boston air wrapping around us. The stars were out, scattered across the night sky, and everything felt peaceful. He stood next to me, his arm slipping around my waist as we looked out at the view.

“You’ve made me the happiest I’ve ever been.” Matt said quietly, his voice filled with sincerity. “I can’t believe how lucky I am to have you in my life. To be here with you now.”

I looked up at him, my heart swelling. "I think I'm the lucky one" I whispered. “You gave me a reason to believe in myself again.”

He turned to face me fully, his eyes locking onto mine with that familiar intensity. “We did this together.” he said softly. “I’m just so glad I get to share all of it with you.”

And then, under the stars and in the quiet of the night, he kissed me slowly, tenderly, like we had all the time in the world. It wasn’t just a kiss, it was a promise. A promise of everything we had built, everything we were, and everything that was still to come.

“I love you” I whispered, pulling back just enough to meet his gaze.

“I love you too” he replied, his eyes shining with so much emotion it nearly took my breath away.

And in that moment, I knew - this was exactly how things were meant to be.

NEW CHRIS SERIES HERE

a/n : and just like that, we're finished :( my first ever fic. thank you so so so sooooo much to every single person that has supported this and given it so much love over the last 2 months. this fic and everyone reading it helped me through a breakup of a 10 year relationship and i’ll always be grateful. it was so fun to write and im so sad its an end of an era. I now have a general taglist here if anyone would like to be on it just interact with the post. thank you so much again for everything <3 a new chris series is coming soon!

Snowy <3

taglist : @muwapsturniolo @anitahunt @sturnfannn @jayde510 @chrissfavhoe @babyalliah-777 @v33angel l @urmom69lol @willowrites @ribread03 @2muchofaslvt @sturnsaver @sleepysturniolo @jcsturniolo11 @jessie-essie @hoeforchrizz @mynbbys @sturniolopanini @mattsturnxoxo @delicatechrry @t77te @sturnsyaper69 @hotdismylife @maggot3647 @ivysturnss @noplaceissafeanymore @mattssgf @yourfavsturniologirl @maethem0nth @sillyponygrl @mattyblover07 @imjusthereforthesturniolosmut @dominicfikeenthusiast @mattsfavbigtitties @ncm9696 @chrisstvrns @schlutt4matty @lvrsturniolo @chrissolos @ilusa @amelia-sturniolo3 @wonnieeluvvr @pussydestroyer100 @amexiass @mystinkylefttoe26 @lizzysmith110 @sturniololovebot @secret-sturniolo @freshythefishy @witchofthehour @stvrnlover @alizestvrnss @beachbabe000 @pinkdyit @pvssychicken @starkeyszn @matts-girlfriend

[liliannadelaphinehartifelt]

Lucifer + Alastor - [ NSFW 3 ]

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A/N: Had this song on repeat since its release and it reminded me of these two so much…

WARNINGS: [ NSFW ] + [ MDNI ] + [ FEM READER ] + [ SLIGHT DUB CON ]

xxxxxxx xxxxxxxx xxxxxxxx xxxxxxxx xxxx

Sharing is caring, but when it comes to being between the King of Hell himself and his newly established opponent - the all too cocky Radio Demon- you don’t have much say in who gets fair claim of your existence.

Sharing is caring, but only in the ways that matter to the men wrapped around your little finger. Lucifer needs your physical touch; he can’t go one moment without it, and god help you if you’re around other flirtatious sinners -he’ll be all over you for no reason at all. Hand on your hip, lower back, even on your ass if he’s feeling possessive. His height doesn’t matter, not when he can back hug you just fine, plant kisses on your head or temple, and sit you down on his lap without a second thought. Lucifer is a sucker for praising you, every word out of his mouth is sweeter than honey, and the knowing smile on his lips when you get all soft and shy from his gentle admiration swells his already massive sense of pride.

“You’re a sweet little sinner, aren’t you, baby doll?”

“I’m so proud of you, my love.”

“Oh, aren’t you just the cutest thing!”

“I’ll do anything you ask of me, sweetheart..”

“Atta girl…keep going…just like that…”

The King of Hell never runs out of patience for you, spending his free time in your presence without a care for his rival's foreboding aura. Though at times they blatantly argue, the drop of your sweet smile into a solemn frown has them both rushing out an apology. However, Lucifer is quicker than Alastor to admit his faults. He makes up for mistakes with sincere gestures, visiting you in the dead of night with the promise of pleasure radiating off him in tangible waves. By the following day, you can’t even begin remembering what you were angry about.

Sharing is caring, but Alastor has a hard time with both concepts. He’s not one for physical affection, preferring acts of service and gift-giving as alternatives. You don’t seem to mind, always at his side when he calls, a pretty little thing on his arm while he struts about hell running conspicuous errands, and a genuinely engaging sinner he doesn’t mind having deep conversations with. You contrast him in all the right ways: expressive but gentle, lethal but only when provoked. Unlike most demons, you hold value to Alastor, drawing out a softer, more honest version of the stag that most will never see. In private, you’re allowed to babble off his ear while he works, cuddle up in his lap when he’s feeling ‘vulnerable,’ and sometimes you’re lucky enough to get a few somewhat kind words from the overlord amid lingering kisses.

“What a pretty little thing you are,”

“I’m tempted to keep you all to myself, ma chere… Would you like that, hm?”

“I know you can’t help being a greedy girl, darling, but I’ll always be better than that pompous excuse for a king.”

“You love to provoke me, don’t you, little one? Prancing around the hotel like you do, smiling at every little thing, and showing off for attention..”

“It’s rather pathetic, but lovely things can’t control what they attract..”

He’s possessive, outright toxic in some instances, but you’re quick to manipulate the stag into an agreeable state with the threat of seeking out Lucifer’s company over his. This tactic occasionally works, but sometimes it enrages Alastor to bloodlust. His semi-polite exterior falters, causing the overlord to be on edge with everyone -especially Lucifer- and the king won’t let a chance to irritate him further slip by.

“Something bothering you, Rudolph?”

Lucifer snickers as Alastor enters the parlor through its shadows, automatically glaring at the sight of you straddling the blonde fallen angel with his hat lazily set on your head, and you giggle at his obvious disdain for the scene. “Oh, don’t look so upset, Al. I just wanted to play with Luci for a bit.. “ you flash him a cheeky grin, purposely shifting on the devil's lap to feel his growing erection and show more skin hidden underneath your fluffy oversized jumper. Lucifer chuckled, ducking his head to give you a quick kiss as the crackle of static resonated around the room, but you were far from scared of Alastor’s fury in the presence of his rival.

Sharing is caring, but later that night, when you snuggled under your bedsheets with Lucifer, lying on his bare chest, only wearing his dress shirt, soundly asleep, and listening to his undead heartbeat, you’re jolted awake by the distinctive coolness of shadows lurking over your skin.

“What made you think I wouldn’t put you in your place, my dear? That I wouldn’t remind you he’s not the only one who can lay claim to your very existence?..”

Alastor’s voice echoes through your head, coaxing you awake as his specters entangle around you. They tug, pull, squeeze, and ravish your small frame with his every word. Your cunt starts to pulse with need, leaking arousal in steady drops as a shadowy tentacle prods your entrance before sheathing itself in your warm walls with one sharp thrust.

“Ahm!” You yelp, eyes shooting open as a satisfied whine leaps from your lips; quiet moans soon follow as the bulk of shadows touches your womb with tender strokes. Two more snake up the borrowed dress shirt, swirling under the white silk with precise menstruations, encircling your fragile body ruthlessly until you’re forced to sit up in hopes of gaining more fleeting touches. “Alastor, you’re being mean…” you groan into the darkness, hips rutting down in timid circles, a reflexive action you try to maintain to avoid waking the man lying under you. Alastor’s low laughter shifts from your mind to the confines of the room, signaling his physical appearance in the space, and you’re tempted to search for him but aren’t given a chance to as the scrape of his sharp claws manifests along your sides. He’s close, so close you can feel him leering behind you, breathing in your ear as if he needed your scent to survive.

You lean backward, humming at the familiar firmness of his chest meeting your back,” Just wanted you to be a little nicer, that’s all…” Your explanation for earlier does nothing to quell Alastor’s jealousy; his hands hovering over your sides clamp down harshly, and his claws shred through Lucifer’s shirt to prick your skin. Your heart thuds wildly as a scream threatens to fall from your chest from the pain he causes, but your cunt clenches with excitement from his aggressive treatment. “Reasoning won’t help you now, darling. It seems you only understand one thing..” he purrs into your ear, red eyes glowing as they trace your flushed form, “A-and what’s that?..” you mumble fearfully, feeling a coil build in your core, but a pang of shame in your chest overrides it as Lucifer begins to stir below you. He’ll awake any second, and though you weren’t afraid of him seeing you in a whorish state, very used to being intimate with him, the unpredictable reaction he’d have to Alastor taking advantage of you right in front of his eyes was still nerve-wracking.

Sharing is caring, and Alastor’s response to your feverish question makes more sense than you care to admit. “Attention, my dear. You’re shamelessly addicted to it,” he drawls, smile widening when you whine helplessly, back arching as his shadows wrap around your breasts before swiping over your pert nipples while your cunt no longer resists forceful strokes of his shadows. Your vision blurs as the sensations blend, erasing mannerable actions from your thoughts the closer to cumming you got, and the riveting shivers vibrating your body were evidence enough. The subtle tremble of your thighs mixed with the combined noise of your soft moans and Alastor’s hushed taunting drew the King of Hell awake with a gentle start. Lucifer ruts his hips upwards on instinct before groaning tiredly, mildly aware of the familiar stickiness your arousal causes on his pale skin but unsure as to why it’s there. “Baby, what’s the matter-“He’s at a loss for words for a long moment, almost panting at the sight above him, confused at first but gradually intrigued as sleep waned from his consciousness. Alastor smirks, lips against your neck as he stares down at the fallen angel, daring him to instigate a fight. “Ah, looks like you awoke your preferred lover, ma chere. How rude…” the deer demon taunts you, clearly unbothered by your disagreements and conflicted writhing. “N-no, that’s not ah- ah- mmm fuck Al, please d-don’t!” A bright blush coats your cheeks, tears brimming your waterline as the demon nips at your bare shoulder before lapping up the blood that trickles from the wound. His gaze never leaves Lucifer’s as his tongue collects the red liquid, humming triumphantly as a prominent red color floods the ladders’ cheeks and eyes. “How fucking dare you..” the blonde hisses, voice thick with an indecipherable emotion, and you whine anxiously as embarrassment rushes your veins. It wasn’t your fault Alastor was taking his anger out on you this way, disregarding his aversion for touch in the hopes of getting back at you both, but it’d be a lie if you said you weren’t enjoying the intense situation brewing.

Sharing is caring, and you're afraid neither entity will consider doing so as a heavy beat of silence engulfs the room. The only sound is your rushed breaths, growing heavier with every thrust and twist of Alastor’s shadows in and around your body. You try to break free from the overlord, gazing down at Lucifer pleadingly for a better chance at forgiveness. Unexpectedly, his displeased expression morphs dramatically seeing the desperation in your eyes. He’d never been the type for sadism, let alone encouraging it, but your need for his help stirred a primal desire in his chest that he’d only felt sparks of recently. It was no help to him that Alastor, a demon with no remorse or pity for your plight, was the one indicting pleasure on you. He’d seen the stag agitated, irritated, and maybe even flustered but never lustful. It was new and undeniably attractive. Why waste an opportunity to use it against him?

Lucifer took a slow breath, stamping out his rage in seconds as his eyes shifted from your lidded ones to Alastor’s, “How dare you have fun without me, hm?… that’s a little unfair,” he pouts, stifling a groan as his cock twitches to life. The radio demon scoffs, forgetting his grudge against Lucifer for the mutual benefit of desire, “If you wished for fairness, you shouldn’t have fallen from heaven …” he taunts back.

Sharing is caring, but the instant sting of Alastor’s insult doesn’t anger Lucifer like usual. It eggs on the blonde, prompting him to reach for you, and you welcome the gentle coolness of his fingers trailing up front. Unlike Alastor, his claws do you no harm, never breaking skin even as he cups your jaw firmly. “C’mere, little one. M’ not going to hurt you…” he coos quietly, eyes glowing as brightly as Alastor’s as you leer into his touch like a wounded lamb. “Yes sir…” you whisper compliantly, surprised that Alastor relents his hold just enough to let you follow Lucifer’s lead. He’s relatively calm watching you, admiring how your hair falls like a curtain over your flushed face, skin glistening with a thin sheen of sweat, and the dress shirt slipping off your shoulders but sticking to your skin at every curve you had. There were reasons he wanted you to himself but dealt with sharing you with another, and this sight was one of them. You could be so good to them both, on all fours, cunt creaming from his actions and Lucifer’s words, and your loyalty to them both on a whole show no matter the implications.

Sharing is caring, and to some degree, you believe it’s a possibility for your relationship with a prideful fallen angel and an egotistical demon. Lucifer lay beneath your trembling form, muttering encouraging praises against your lips when he wasn’t connecting them with his own in heated kisses.

“Mhm, good girl…go on, come for him like you do for me.”

“Feels good, doesn’t it, baby doll..”

“Fuck, you like that hm? Want more? Ask him nicely, sweetheart…”

“Cum for us, my love…”

“You’re doing so well….taking us so well. There you go, baby, all of it just like that…”

Alastor loses track of himself within moments of watching you come undone in his shadows for the first time, hungry to feel the warmth of your cunt for himself as puddles of your cum form on Lucifer’s crotch. You don’t fight him when he replaces his specter's task of fucking you, welcoming the length of his cock with a grateful smile and melodic moan of his name. “Alastor!… nghh yess, please r-right there!..” you yelp into Lucifer’s neck, letting him cradle your head as he talks you through the rise of your next high, “You sound so precious like this, baby. Give em’ what he wants.” His tone is strained, leaning towards a moan as he watches your expressions switch between pleasure and pure wonder. Alastor is fixated on the both of you, ears twitching at the top of his head with every satiated moan you let out and sinful word Lucifer says. His hands find purchase on your hips, gripping them harshly as he snaps his roughly, plowing his cock into your cunt with so much pent aggression your legs refuse to stop shaking. “Oh, fuck…” he groans in the air, tearing his gaze away from your arched back and leaking entrance to try and slow the impending peak of his high. Self-control was something Alastor prided himself in, but it was spiraling from his grasp the longer he fucked you.

Was this what the King of Hell had been enjoying with you?

Milking you of every drop of lust in your body?

Filling you with his overrated seed in the hopes of one-upping him?

If so, Alastor could never blame him. You felt divine, after all, and had no complaints about being used for pleasure.

Sharing is caring, but you forget all about it when Alastor yanks you away from Lucifer, a hand tangled in your head so tight you’re sure he might rip into your scalp if he holds you any tighter. Luckily, the overlord refrains from doing so, opting to groan into your ear as he buries his length to the hilt in your fluttering cunt, spilling ropes of warm cum into your abused womb with no remorse. “Don’t waste a single drop, ma chere. See it as a gift for being so well-behaved,” the radio overlay in his voice is gone, giving way to an accent you couldn’t resist mewling at. Lucifer chuckled, eyes fixed on where Alastor and you were connected, smirking at the mess you’d both made on top of him. “Need a taste of that…” he mumbles more to himself, tone hungry, demanding. You’ve yet to catch your breath before Alastor lets out a short laugh, flinging you forward into Lucifer’s chest without much care as to how weak you still are, “Greedy bastard,” he snickers, slowly pulling out of you with a satisfied grin at your attempt to keep him in. “Now, now, dear. I’ll have another turn with you soon. No need to be selfish..”

Sharing is caring, and oh, how wonderful it is when you’re sat in Alastor’s lap, facing away from him, one leg bent over his while the other rests on Lucifer’s shoulder. The King of Hell kneels before you both, inhaling the scent of your cunt, and smiling at the steady stream of cum drizzling past your folds. He’d done this many times before, a being addicted to the taste of women, of you specifically, but you still shied away from his vulgar eagerness. Your coy reactions only worsened when the notion of Alastor’s cum mixed with your own eventually settling on Lucifer’s tongue came to mind. They hated each other after all, and despite getting along most of the time in your presence, you never imagined this to happen, but neither backed down from the ordeal.

“W-wait Luci, you don’t h-have-“ you start to protest quietly, squirming in Alastor’s hold to avoid Lucifer, but your refusals don’t hold any weight to them.

“Mm, but I want to, love…I can’t help it,” the blonde whined as if he’d die without getting the task done, hands cupping your inner thighs tenderly as he flicked his tongue over your slit and swollen clit. You jolted in Alastor’s grip, biting back a whimper as he mumbled into the crook of your shoulder, “It’s impolite to refuse royalty, so let him have his fill …”

Sharing is caring, and you’re sure Lucifer could survive off eating your pussy alone just fine for the rest of his immortal life. He makes a show of it, diving his tongue in and out of your stretched entrance, moving to suck on your clit every so often before putting both actions into tedious repetition. You couldn’t remain coherent as he explored your insides with expert focus, letting his tongue linger in the spongiest and sweetest spots in your cunt just to draw back and generously spit on your clit. He’d learned your body, when to hit nerves, or when to overwhelm them. As of now, every sense you had was heightened, intensifying when Alastor’s eyes studied your facial expressions, your smile growing an inch more expansive when you rushed out a warning to Lucifer.

“Gonna cum m’ gonna cum…!”

The devil perks up, delving two fingers into you, red irises dilating completely as they hit a tender spot in your cunt immediately, curling against it at a languid pace. He met your gaze with a proud smile on his face, tongue lapping at your clit leisurely, begging you to come undone without hesitation. Alastor curses under his breath, agitated by the fact that your moans are turning him on again, and you feel his cock twitch under your weight.

Sharing is caring, and the euphoric bliss of releasing in Lucifer’s mouth felt divine, bringing small tears to your eyes as he buried his face in your mound, moaning at the taste of you drenching his tongue. Alastor grunts as your hips rock to meet Lucifer's pace, hands creeping up to cup your breasts, kneading the plush flesh mindlessly to avoid bucking his hips against your backside for better friction. He couldn't give his rival the triumph of seeing him worked up at the sight of you cumming so reverently under his touch. You felt powerless between them, shaking in Alastor's arms and pleading for Lucifer to join. One look is all it takes for the two to agree, giving into your minuscule wishes and thoroughly enjoying themselves the remainder of the evening.

Sharing is caring, but if you dare to utter a word of what transpired that night in the presence of others, both will deny the implication of tolerating one another. Although, you find yourself being used by both more often, stuffed full of their cum night after night, and keenly aware of the mutual trust growing between them when you finally collapse into sleep by their sides. They're capable of fair behavior with you, but only in private. Away from the eyes of others who’ll never witness how obsessed The Radio Demon & The King of Hell are with you and you alone.

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It's just a filler post cause I'm getting burnt out with requests! ❤️ I love your ideas, so I'm trying to write them all in my style but as concisely as possible. It's tiring but fun…

[ BONUS CONTENT + ]

They may not be able to stand each other but I’ll gladly take them both (not in a fight) ❤️ credits to creator

[daddyslilchickenfingers2]

Noise Complaint (Chris)

Request: none

Warnings: secret relationship, semi public sex(hotel room), protective triplets, slightly possessive chris, degradation, filming/pictures, praise kink, daddy kink, getting caught by a fan, being found out by Matt and Nick, super rough sex, dom!chris, lingerie, choking, slapping, spanking, oral(male receiving), cum swallowing, creampie, facefucking, hair pulling, choking, maybe more idk

A/N: this was written when they were on the versus tour which is why it obviously mentions the tour

Y/n’s pov

We were going into week three of the boys’ tour and it was getting increasingly harder for Chris and I to hide the fact that we’re dating. Nobody knew, not even his brothers or Madi, who’s my best friend. At home, it’s a lot easier to hide the fact that we’re dating because Chris and I have always been super close, so us going to “hang out” alone wasn’t abnormal. Thankfully I was invited to go on tour with them since Madi couldn’t go this time, meaning I would have to share one of the two rooms with one of the triplets. You’d probably expect me to be sharing a room with Nick, which I wouldn’t mind considering he’s one of my best friends, but Chris had managed to convince both Matt and Nick to let him sleep in the same room with me by claiming he needs to cuddle with someone when he’s not sleeping in his own house. Since we’d usually get one room with two beds and the other with only one bed, neither Nick nor Matt wanted to have to share a bed or cuddle with Chris so they had “forced” me to be the one sharing a bed with Chris. Not that I was complaining anyways.

This was basically the only time when we could be completely alone however, Matt and Nick always had the room next to us meaning we could never have sex if fear of them hearing us. Luckily for us, the hotel we were staying at tonight only had rooms on separate floors. Currently, we were at the venue getting ready for the meet and greet as we just finished the show, everyone was still dressing in the color for their team. My color being red, I wore black cargo pants with white stitching, a red belt, a red corset top, and red Jordans, I paired my outfit with some silver jewelry and some basic makeup, adding winged eyeliner and red lipstick. As soon as I walked out of my dressing room, Chris pushed me back into it, “You look so fucking hot right now babe, I don’t know how I’m gonna control myself out there.” he said trying to go in for a kiss but I had to swerve it. Chris started pouting as I said “Sorry handsome, I don’t want to get any lipstick on you. We don’t want anyone to find out we’re dating, remember?” “Yeah, yeah, I just don’t know how I’m going to control myself out there because if I’m being honest, all I want to do right now is rip your clothes off and fuck you.” he said as we walked towards the door to leave.

We met back up with Nick and Matt as we all walked out to the meet and greet area and started taking pictures with fans. There was this one guy who came up to me and started flirting, I could tell that Chris was irritated but it’s not like he could do anything about it. “You’re hot, can I get your number and take you out to dinner? You know, maybe I can get you away from these boys and show you what I can do.” the guy said, making me slightly uncomfortable. Luckily for me, Nick saw this and came over to us “Hey man, can you not talk to her like that and move on to she can take pictures with non-creepy people? Thanks.” he said shooing him away. The guy did leave, but Chris still kept looking at me out of the corner of his eye to make sure nobody else bothered his girl.

After the meet and greet, we had all decided to go get dinner at a restaurant, and guess who just so happened to be our waiter? The creepy guy from earlier, and I think all the boys could tell he was making me uncomfortable. Due to this Nick ordered for me so I wouldn’t have to talk to him and we got threw dinner without an incident, well except for when we got our receipt, which had his number on it. I could literally feel the jealousy radiating off of Chris as we waited for our Uber, “Chris what’s wrong? You look super pissed off, are you okay?” Matt had asked him. “I’m fine, I just want to be at the hotel already.” Chris replied through gritted teeth making both his brothers give him a weird look before we got inside the Uber and went back to the hotel. Laura had met us in the lobby, handing us our room keys and telling us our room numbers as all five of us piled in the elevator. Laura got off first, then Matt and Nick, as soon as the doors closed Chris grabbed my hand, “I don’t like people flirting with you, I wanna punch them all in the face.” he said while rubbing his thumb across the back of my hand as we walked to our room

As soon as we got inside our bedroom, Chris pushed me up against the door “I want my fucking kiss now, you’ve had me so hard all day.” he said before capturing my lips in a kiss. I wrapped my arms around his neck, playing with his hair as our kiss turned into a heavy makeout. He started pressing his body against mine so I could feel how hard he was before he pulled away, “I’ve been waiting to do that all day. God, Y/n/n you look so hot in this outfit, shit I never thought you wearing red lipstick would make me so fucking hard, you’re gonna have to start wearing it more often.” Chris told me. I had a little surprise for him, I had just been waiting for when we could get the chance to fuck on tour, I bought it at one of our stops after hearing Chris say I looked hot in red a million times. “Would you do me a favor?” I asked him in a seductive voice, continuing to speak after he nodded “Can you go stand in the bathroom for like five minutes, please? It’ll be worth it, I promise you’ll like it.” “Ughhh you know I don’t like surprises!” he whined. “You’ll like this one I promise!” I told him as I shoved him into the bathroom, I quickly went to change into a pair of red heels and a lacy red lingerie set before quickly reapplying some lipstick.

I sat down on the edge of the bed before telling Chris he could come out, “This better not be som- holy fuck!” he cut himself off as he stopped dead in his tracks a few feet away from me. “Do you like it, baby?” I asked innocently, he was at a loss for words, only being able to mutter out a delayed “Uh-huh, really like it…” as I stood up and walked over to him. Chris couldn’t stop staring at every move I made, I grabbed his hand and led him over to sit on the bed. He slid off his shirt and shoes as his eyes continued to scan my body, “Are you just going to sit there and stare at me or are you going to use me like I planned on letting you?” I said as I traced my finger across his jawline, tilting his head up to look at me. His lips were wet and red as he kept licking and biting at them and his eyes were so blown out that you could barely see a small sliver of blue.

Chris quickly stood up to take his pants off before sitting against the headboard, pulling me with him “As much as I love those heels, Imma need to take them off because you’re gonna be real uncomfortable wearing those in a bit.” he said making me take them off, instantly pulling me onto his lap when I was done. He grabbed the back of my head before smashing our lips together in a hot and needy kiss, he swiped his tongue across my bottom lip while pulling me hair causing me to gasp, giving him a chance to slide his tongue into my mouth. Chris suck and licked my tongue and lips, letting out a deep groan when I started slowly grinding on him, his hands quickly making their way down to my ass with a tight grip. He slowly pulled away biting my lip, “God, I’m gonna fuck you so hard tonight! You’re gonna be so full my cum like the filthy little whore you are, gotta show you who you fucking belong to after that guy flirted with you today!” he growled into my ear.

I knew he was serious when he said I’d be filled with his cum considering neither of us had cum since tour started. I started trailing kisses down his neck and chest, disappointed that I couldn’t leave any hickies “Look like such a slut right now, wish I could take pictures and shit because you look fucking hot.” Chris groaned. I stopped kissing his body and looked at him from between his legs with an innocent smile “Who said you couldn’t? You can take videos of me sucking your cock or fucking me for all I care.” When I said that Chris groaned and his cock twitched. You could tell he was constantly dripping precum from the growing wet patch on his gray boxers. After a second he stood up and grabbed my wrist, dragging me with him before he grabbed his phone out of his pants “Get on your fucking knees for me, I’m taking you up on that offer.” he said while caressing my face before pushing me onto my knees.

He pushed down his boxers, stepping out of them before he tapped his cock against my lips, I quickly opened my mouth and stuck my tongue out waiting for him to put it in my mouth. He placed his thick cock onto my tongue before thrusting into my mouth, pushing some hair out of face while I sucked on the tip. “Can I really record you baby?” he asked while caressing my face, I pulled off of him for a second, using my hand to continue to stroke him. “Yes baby, you can record it and take pictures of whatever you want tonight.” I told him before deep throating him, Chris let out a loud groan before he started to record me. I looked up at the camera innocently as I started sucking him off “Put your hands behind your, I’m gonna fuck that pretty little face of yours.” he said as he placed his hand on the back of my head.

I placed my hands behind my back as Chris started slowly thrusting his cock into my mouth, I hollowed out my cheeks making him let out a low groan. He started fully fucking my face roughly causing me to gag when his tip would hit the back of my throat. I started to whine and moan against him when he started fisting my hair and pulling it, the constant abuse of my throat combined with him pulling my hair caused tears to start falling down my face. “God, you look so pretty like this for me! Next time I’m gonna cum all over your slutty face!” he grunted out, making me whine around him again. I felt his cock twitch before his grip on my hair got tighter and he’s thrusts grew erratic. “You gonna let me cum down your slutty little throat baby?” he asked, I moaned around him as a response before his hips sputtered.

Chris shoved my face down so his cock was literally down my throat, my nose pressed against his pubic bone. “Fuck baby, so good for me.” he praised as he came before pulling out of my mouth. “Open your mouth for me.” he said making me quickly oblige, showing him my mouth full of cum. “Swallow.” I did as he said, sticking my tongue out to show him I did what he asked before he stopped the video. After he caught his breath he helped me stand up, “As hot as you look in this I need it off, right now.” he growled helping me take the lingerie off. Once Chris had helped me undress, he cupped my face in his hands to wipe the dried tears and mascara off my cheeks. Chris sat up against the headboard again, telling me to sit on his lap. He grabbed my throat to pull me into another rough kiss harshly sucking on my tongue, groaning when he felt my wetness spread across his cock, which was already hard again.

Quickly flipping us over, pushing my right leg up against my chest before slamming into me. I let out a loud moan as he gave me no time to adjust before he was pounding into me. “Fuck, so goddamn tight for me! You like being treated like a slut don’t you? Such a good girl.” he grunted as I scratched my nails done his back. “Yes! Yes, your good girl daddy! Please, so good!” I moaned incoherently. “Please what baby? What do you want?” he asked me but I couldn’t explain what I wanted as he was pounding into me so roughly and it felt so good. Since I was whining and moaning so much I just grabbed his hand, making him lightly slap my face. “You want me to hit you? God, you’re such a kinky whore!” he loud groaned before actually slapping my face making me let out an extremely loud, high pitched moan as I came around him. Chris grabbed my jaw harshly, getting closer to my face “Fucking bitch! I didn’t say you could cum, you didn’t even fucking ask!” he growled at me before slapping me again as I cried out, quickly becoming overstimulated. “Open your damn mouth!” I did as he said before Chris spit into my mouth making me whine “Fucking swallow bitch!” he said and I quickly obliged.

Me and Chris have never had such rough sex before but we were both living for it, not even registering the fact that we were in a hotel room and the people next to us could probably hear our moans. Chris suddenly pulled out making me whimper, “Hands and knees slut.” he ordered and I quickly did as he said. He pushed on my back making me arch it before he licked from my clit all the way to my ass hole, loudly groaning as he pulled away. “I’m gonna fuck your tight ass one day and you’re gonna let it happen.” he said before slapping my ass. “Chris please, need your cock back inside me.” I begged “You’re fucking greedy aren’t you?” he asked rhetorically as he ran his tip through my folds teasingly.

Chris then started thrusting into me at a slow pace, “Faster daddy, please!” I asked in a whine voice. He started thrusting quickly and hard, his nails digging into my hips as a form of leverage. Both of us were being extremely loud at this point since this new angle felt amazing, he had leaned forward to play with my nipples. He knew my nipples were extremely sensitive so he used that to his advantage, relishing in the fact that he was the only person to make me feel this way. With the combination of Chris playing with my nipples, aggressive thrusts, and loud groans he was letting in my ear were getting me extremely close to cumming again. “Mmm please can I cum daddy? Feels s-so good don’t stop! F-Fuck please!” I cried out making Chris let out an almost animalistic growl in my ear. “You can cum but I’m not fucking stopping!” he said moving one of his hands to my throat. I came around his cock for the second time tonight, crying as I was extremely overstimulated.

Chris pulled back to sit up straight again on his knees when suddenly our hotel phone started to ring. He slowed down his thrust, making me whine before going to pick up the phone. “Be quiet baby.” he told me, still slowly pumping in and out of me, Chris cleared his throat before actually answering the phone. “Um hello?” he asked confused, I started thrusting back against him causing Chris to completely stop moving and slap my ass harshly. “Uh oh okay, y-yea. I’m s-sorry.” he replied to whatever the person on the other end of the phone said before hanging up. Slapping my ass one time before flipping me over, looking down at me with a stupid smile. “We just got a noise complaint, but that doesn’t mean I’m gonna stop. It just means you need to shut the fuck up!” he laughed before thrusting back into me.

Chris once again started thrusting into me but this time he smashed our lips together in an attempt to stifle my moans. These thrusts weren’t as rough as before, but they were still quite fast as we were both nearing our orgasms. We pulled away for just a second, Chris saying “Shit baby are you close? Because I’m about to fucking cum in you!” I just nodded in response not wanting to be loud again. He brought his hand down to rub my clit in fast, tight circles as he pressed our lips together again. After a few more thrusts, I was cumming around his cock with a whine, this caused Chris to cum as well. Filling me up before slowly pulling out, using his fingers to collect the cum dripping out of me only to shove them in my mouth a second later. He laid down next to me as we caught our breath for a minute.

Once our breath was back to normal Chris stood up before grabbing my hand and helping me up as well. My legs were trembling and it was kind of hard to stand but we silently walked over to the bathroom. Chris told me to pee while he turned the shower on, going back out into our room to grab our toothbrushes, my hair brush and, my makeup wipes before returning. We took a quick shower using the soaps that the hotel had in there before we got out. Chris wrapped one of the big white fluffy towels around me before grabbing another one for himself, I grabbed one of the smaller towels to wrap my hair in making chris giggle. “You look cute like that babe.” he said sarcastically as we got ready to brush our teeth. I used a makeup wipe to get the rest of my makeup off my face and some red smudges of lipstick off from around Chris’ lips. He insisted on blowing my hair so I didn’t argue and just let him do it since my legs were still shaky and I was tired.

Once we were done in the bathroom we went over to our suitcases to get changed, I wore an oversized shirt and panties while Chris just wore some boxers before we climbed into bed and went to sleep. We woke up at 7am as we needed to get back on the bus to drive to our next location, quickly getting dressed in some comfy clothes and brushing our teeth before gathering our things to meet Nick, Matt, and Laura in the lobby. Unfortunately for us, we walked out at the same time as the person from next door that made the noise complaint. We were just going to ignore her until she said our names, “Y/n? Chris? You guys were the ones fucking extremely loud next door?” she asked making us both blush and turn around. Chris awkwardly scratched the back of his neck before sheepishly nodding “Oh my god are you guys dating!? That’s so cute I love it! Oh shit did I ruin your night last night?” the fan said super fast.

“You can’t tell anyone about this!” Chris and I said at the same time, not wanting this to get out. “We don’t want anyone to know we’re dating yet, not even his brother know so could you please keep this private and between us?” I asked nervous. She agreed to do so as long as we followed her fan and main accounts on insta, which we obviously did before taking a quick picture with her. As we started to walk away, Chris turned around again “Oh and by the way, you didn’t ruin our night, you just made us realize we gotta be more quiet.” he said while laughing. We got into the elevator to go down to the lobby when Chris grabbed my waist and pulled me in for a quick passion kiss, pulling away right before the doors opened. Nick and Matt got into the elevator with us, Nick seemed to be oblivious but Matt gave us a weird look. “Why are you two blushing and shit?” he asked suspiciously, but luckily for us the elevator doors opened and we walked out to meet with Laura to go to the bus. Once we got settled in on the bus, Matt looked over to Nick before saying “You owe me 50 bucks, they’re definitely dating so pay up” making Chris and I blush.

“How do you know that? We’ve been so careful!” Chris exclaimed as Nick looked at us, irritated because he owes Matt money now, “I don’t know, maybe it’s the because she’s wearing your hoodie or the fact that you have pink lipgloss on your lips” Nick said. Both brothers started laughing but quickly stopped when Chris said “Well at least I scan do this more often” pulling me in for a quick kiss. Both boys gave us a cheesy smile as they were happy that we were finally dating before we all drifted back off to sleep.

[star-eyed-angels]

Secrets and Sleep

bang chan x gn reader

fluff 1.6k

where you spill your heart out to your sleeping boyfriend.

AN: A small thing I started when I was sad that morphed into something more hope you like it.

______

It’s nearly 2 a.m. as you lay in bed, your boyfriend at your side. With Chan’s habit of working through the night in the studio, it’s rare you have him in bed with you before the sun is up. But tonight he’d come home earlier, wanting to spend a little more time with you to ease his stress. Tonight that meant cuddling in bed after a takeout dinner. 

Now you found yourself wide awake with a sleeping Chan next to you. His body is turned towards you as he sleeps on his side, pillow smushed against the side of his face. 

You brush the curly hair delicately out of his face, smiling softly when he shifts closer to you. You’ve always thought he looked so beautiful while he slept. Looking nothing but relaxed. Exuding pure warmth and comfort when he sleeps. You tuck your hands back under your cheek resting on them as you watch Chans even breathing. Your eyes trail over his features slowly, a small smile on your face as you watch him. The room is quiet as you feel your heart squeeze with the need to speak. 

“So many nights I used to wish for someone. Nights I dreamed of finding love, the right love,” your voice is soft as you speak into the open room, being careful to not wake Chan from his sleep. “And then the universe sent me you… perfectly wrapped in your endless black hoodies and topped with your messy little curls,” you gently trace a finger around one of his curls. 

“I remember the first time I met you at the cafe. You hadn’t even been in the building for five minutes before I was spilling half my order into your lap,” you cover your face in embarrassment. A laugh escapes you as you recall the memory.  “God, I was absolutely mortified. And then you were the one apologizing to me.” 

“To be honest, I never thought someone could look like you and still be that nice. Hot and kind Mr. Bahng,” you snort out quietly. You remember his smile as he waved off your apologies. Even as the lingering bits of coffee dripped onto his lap. You think you hadn’t 

“But there you were. Being so kind even after I ruined your clothes. And then you just stuck, like me embarrassing myself in front of you just made us friends. You were so willing to bring me into your circle and into your life.” You pause, staring off into the room around you. 

The room is still quiet as you glance at the photos and decorations littered around the space. Memories of before and after your relationship started, pieces of furniture you’d bickered over before laughing at how much you sounded like an old married couple. Even the bed you sleep on holds the memory of putting it together and suffering with Chan as he struggled to interpret the instructions. You can't help but feel sentimental in your room, your home. Thinking about how it all started with meeting Chan.

“I don’t think I’ve ever told you how grateful I am to have you. Ever since we met, you’ve always been so kind and willing to help. Even without knowing you, I could see that. And when we became friends that didn’t change, you offered me someone to lean on and the opportunity to make my own little circle with your members. In the short time after we met you added so much joy to my life and I genuinely couldn't believe it.” 

You turn back to look at Chan, who is still asleep, his slow breaths the only sound in the room. 

“And then you asked me out and I had never been so nervous in my life.” The memory of when he asked you out warms your heart. You don’t think you’d ever seen him that nervous as he avoided eye contact with you. His ears and cheeks pink as he had stumbled over his words. To be fair you weren’t doing any better, with your barely controlled giggles and warm face.  You’d thanked whatever in the universe kept you standing on your feet as you listened to his confession. 

“I was scared, you know, to fall in love again. Even though I wanted it, I didn’t think it was for me…” You hesitate, but decide to continue, “Everyone before, they didn't- They didn’t make me feel like I was worth the effort… I felt like a chore really…

“I was so convinced that I was unlovable. Each and every heartbreak just made me feel I wasn’t worth the effort.You place your hand on his cheek, softly rubbing your thumb against it.

Your voice is soft as you continue, ”But you’ve never made me feel like I was invisible. Like I was a cutout in this relationship. When it comes to you, you’ve shown me what it really means to be in love.”

“The ways you love me, you’re so attentive, so caring, so.. You. I’ve never felt a love like this. I wish there was a greater word to use than love, because you do more than love me. It’s like you give me the world in every little thing you do for me.” You laugh, a hint of embarrassment making you warm even though Chan is sleeping quietly next to you. 

“We’ve been together for so long, yet you’re still here giving me butterflies like a schoolgirl crush. I know it's a little silly, but you just make me feel like I’m something special”. You pause, stopping the words on the tip of your tongue.

Even after all this time, the hesitation from past relationships makes you nervous. But one look at Chan makes your worries fall away. He’s been your safe place for almost as long as you’ve known him. Even with this. Even if the thought of saying it out loud scares you, you know Chan would never judge you. You smile as you look at him, taking a calming breath. Even in his sleep it still feels like he’s helping you to calm your nerves. 

“You make me feel like I’m worth a forever,” Your confession comes out in a shaky whisper. You pause, even in the still room it feels like the world may suddenly come crashing down at your confession. But nothing changes. The room is still quiet. Chan still sleeps peacefully next to you. Your heart is still slightly beating out of your body. But a weight on your chest has slightly been lifted.

“I know that being in a relationship isn’t easy. But even through all the ups and downs, I’ve never felt unloved by you. Even the hard days don't feel as hard.

“I know at the beginning, loving me was hard. A lot of the time I  let my fear of us get in the way… but you were always patient. You never pushed me, never made me do something I didn’t want to. It’s like you know me better than I know myself most days.

“And I just… I just really hope you know how much I love you. How I would bring heaven down for you if I could. Catch all the stars in the sky for you. I want to give you the world like you do for me. And I kinda really want to spend the rest of my life with you.

You pause smiling softly at him. You lean forward, gently brushing your lips across his forehead. “I don’t know if you feel the same, but I really hope you do,” you mumble softly. 

You place a gentle kiss against his skin, smiling as you lean back. 

“Sweet dreams my love,” you say softly, bringing your hand back down to your side. You watch Chan’s steady breathing, feeling your eyes get heavier with the need to sleep. The last thing you remember is moving closer to Chan, before you’re fast asleep next to him. 

_______

Chan has no secrets. He’s always been open with you. Even with the occasional surprise he still manages to give it away.

‘I did get you an anniversary gift. But I won’t tell you what it is.’

‘I’m planning your birthday party, what kind of cake do you want?’

Most people would be put off by this. Something about needing surprises to keep a relationship going. But you love Chan's openness. You love how he wants everything to go perfect, paying attention to every little detail.. It makes you feel special and you love it. Other than that, Chan has no secrets.

That is until tonight.

Tonight as he lays with his eyes closed next to you. He shifts closer to you sleepily as he feels your fingers near his hair. He’s about to open his eyes to look at you when you speak. His heart feels like it’s beating out of his chest as you open your heart out to him. He thought that he couldn’t fall even more in love with you, but here you are stealing his heart once again.He doesn’t think he’s ever felt more in love with you than this moment.

He fights the urge to jump up and trap you in his arms, to pepper every inch of your skin in kisses and tell you how much he loves you. He knows this is a delicate moment. One he’ll treasure for the rest of his life. 

So after tonight Chan has two secrets.

The first being that he’s not actually asleep next to you and can hear every word you’re saying. He figures he’ll tell you eventually. When the moment is right.

Which brings him to his second secret.

When he’s gonna give you the ring he plans to buy you first thing in the morning. His commitment to never stop showing you what you mean to him. A promise to a forever that you deserve.

A forever that he really wants to spend with you too.

[heartfullofleeches]

Dude I feel so bad for zombie Yan, I tend to be accidentally honest but would totally keep up their delusion. Like, their little half exposed brain can't process their (probably bad) death, how am I supposed to tell them?

Like, "yeah babe lots of humans have half of their brain out, don't worry pookie" "Yeah I know their arm fell off, would you stop being such a dick about it?" "They just drank too much water from the sink, that's why their skin is gray"

"Hey, babe.... Do you still think I'm cute?"

They feel like such a terrible partner - piling stupid questions on top of all the care and attention you've given them since they got sick. You must be so tired of them now, but they needed to hear it from you. The difference between them now and the person you fell in love with were like night and day. They'd lost so much weight in these past few months, their eyes are hollow and empty. Their skin remains the same blotchy gray color no matter how many hours they lay rotting in the sun.

"Of course I do. Why wouldn't I, silly?"

"I don't know.... I guesx I just haven't been feeling like myself lately....With that whole dog bite incident and everything that's happened since I feel like a burden to you...."

"Hey, don't think like that. You're just sick - that's all, remember?"

Sick... That's right. They said so themselves. Ugh, it's not fair. How come you still be that same wonderful you that they fell for all that time ago? So understanding and still so, so cute. You just get cuter by the day to them...It makes it so hard for them to control their temper when they see neighbors interacting with you outside. Don't they know you belong to them? Just because they get to be outside with you doesn't mean a damn thing. They hate how buddy buddy everyone gets when their symptoms flare up and they can't leave the house with you. Hate, hate, hate- They just want claw, and stomp, and bite all their dumb, smiling faces into a mangled heap no one would be able to tell apart. It's what they deserve for trying to steal you away.

But they'd never do anything like that - Hurting people would make you cry and if they did that what good were they to you?

"I think it's time for bed."

"Yay!"

Your partner crawls in bed, leaving their ankle hanging off the edge of the mattress for you to shackle to the frame. Once testing the strength of the chain, you climb in right alongside them - loosening the latches of their muzzle by a few notches as you both get comfortable. You kiss the cheek with the lesser amount of decay as they nuzzle up to you - breathing in your intoxicating scent. Deep down you both knew they'd never bite you. You satisfied a different craving and if they ever lost you their hunger for human flesh would swallow them whole.

"I'm sorry we have to do this, but we can't risk you running out while I'm asleep again."

"It's okay. I know you're just trying to help me get better. I actually really like the idea of being chained to you for the rest of my life. I love you so much, baby. Soon as I get better I promise I'll be the one taking care of you."

"Yea.... I'd like that."

[night-daily]

Jealousy jealousy | Peter Parker x fem! reader

Summary: 3 times where Peter hears you fangirling over Spiderman and one time he finally explodes.

warnings: none.

a/n: enjoy and let me know if there's any mistakes please!:)

The first time, he overheard you talking to your friends, was an accident, he didn't on purpose it just happens every time he sees you, he has no control over his senses. And he doesn't realize he's eavesdropping until you say something that brings him back to reality.

“... I think he's hot.” whoa, were you talking about him? Nice. “I mean, have you seen how athletic he is?” fuck, it wasn't him. Yeah, he participates in P.E class but he has to pretend he isn't good at it so you or anyone else wouldn't get suspicious. So it couldn't be him.

Peter turned his face away from you, feeling insecure. You were dumping him? Who was this guy?

“Hey, what are we talking about?” One of your friends came to the table you and your friends were eating.

And of course, Peter needed to hear the name of the guy.

''I'm masochistic?''

“Spider man!” You exclaimed with a smirk on your face making your friends groan. His heart stopped for a second. “Again?” Your friend rolled playfully her eyes to you. And you nodded with your head cheerily.

Peter felt his body relax at your words. So you like Spider man uh? Only if you knew Spider man likes you too.

The second time, the two of you are in his room, he sitting at his desk doing homework while you are doing yours in his bed. Well, you got bored doing the homework so now you were just rambling stuff about your classes, your friends, and...

“Hey, have you heard about Spider man?” Peter's body froze. “You know, the Superhero.” He hums in agreement, incapable to make a comment. “I heard some people show up at the crime scenes just to watch him in action.” And Peter dislike that people, they could get hurt and they didn't even care, and for what? just to watch him? “Yeah, that's crazy.” He expected you to agree with him, but you were quiet. “That's crazy, right?” He turns his chair to look at you, but you were avoiding his eyes. “... I don't know, to be honest, I would like to watch him in person too, even a glimpse of him.” Now he was seeing red. Why would you do that? Why would you put your life in danger for someone who you don't even know? Why would you do that for Spider man?

He couldn't help but feel a hole in his chest, it was a heavy and ugly feeling, he had never felt something like that. Jealousy. “What’s so good about him, anyway?” Peter muttered, turning himself, and ignoring the smile that crept across your face.

The third time, you were getting ready to hang out with your friends at the new coffee shop, doing your makeup you saw Peter through the mirror leaning against the doorframe of your room.

“Take a picture, it'll last longer.” your teasing smile sent butterflies to his stomach. “Why would I want a picture? If I have you all for myself.” He came closer to you from behind your back, placing kisses on your naked shoulder. “Oh, you're lucky that I haven't met Spider man then.” He stopped kissing your shoulder “Please, go with him if you like him so much” You turned your face to him. “I'm kidding Pete, I already have you and I love you so much.” You squeezed his hand. “Also, I'm pretty sure he wouldn't notice me, I bet he dates models”

He didn't know why he was more upset, you doubting how beautiful you are or assuming that Spider man wouldn't notice you. But you were wrong in both assumptions.

“You are the fucking prettiest girl I've ever met and anyone would be so lucky to share the same oxygen you breathe because I know I am.” And he smashed your lips, it was a passive-aggressive kiss. “I'm lucky too.”

And the one time he finally explodes, Peter was resting in his bed after a long night patrol when you crossed the door excitedly.

“PETER YOU'RE NOT GOING TO BELIEVE WHAT HAPPENED LAST NIGHT” Oh, sure he did. “What happened, love?” He played fool. “So, remember when you dropped me at the corner of the street? Well, guess what!?” You made it a short pause not giving him the chance to respond “SPIDER MAN WAS THERE TOO” He gasped. “No way!” You grabbed your phone and unlocked it “AND HE GAVE ME FLOWERS. NOT JUST THAT, TULIPS, MY FAVORITES” You showed him the photos of you and your tulips, you looked so happy and that makes him happy too. “He shouldn’t go after other people’s girlfriends” He half-joked. You laughed “Maybe after all you have a rival” He wasn't smiling anymore “I mean, who gifts tulips to a complete stranger? Maybe he likes me? OH MY GOD, SPIDER MAN LIKES ME! WOULD YOU IMAGINE US TOGE-” “Babe, I'm Spider man!” Peter cuts you off. He couldn't stand anymore hear you falling for Spider man. But how would you react? Would you hate him for keeping it secret?

“I knew it!” He was shocked “Wait, what?” you shrugged “Honey, you aren't that subtle.” Now, if you knew it, why you had never told anything to him? “I never told you anything because I kind of enjoy you being like this and I want to know how much you could take it before admitting you were jealous and you were Spider man.” Peter blushed “I never would have thought I’d ever be jealous about me.” You winked at him “Oh, jealousy looks good on you.”

[orshii]

Guilty Pleasure

✟ Author: orshii

✟ Pairing: Choi San x female reader

✟ Word count: 4,6 k

✟ Warnings: cursing, suggestive

✟ Summary: You go back to your hometown for the summer vacation, not expecting the small town's priest to be a total eye candy. But he seems to be hiding dark secrets underneath his holy façade.

Will you find out the truth?

✟ A/N: *coughs in embarrassment* Uh so...I think I really went insane if I wrote this, there's no way back anymore haha. I really do feel guilty, but then I'm not, cause you'll see. *wink* To be honest I don't know what is this, I just got inspired in the church bruh-- I can't with myself, I'mma just go dig myself haha let's go. Anyways, enjoy I guess. Actually part 2 is out

My day started off boring, as usual. It was a holiday, so I went back home to the town I grew up in to visit my parents and relatives. I really needed a little break from work and from the adult life, which came out of the blue. I didn't really have time to ponder in my life choices as I finished University. I moved away to a big city to start working as an English teacher. It was very new for me, and very tiring, so, I deserved a little break as the summer vacation finally came and I could come home to rest a little before returning to my chaotic, big city life.

We were sitting in church with my parents and my brother, Wooyoung, as it was Sunday. My parents were mostly religious, and so, I had no other choice but to tag along with them. I can’t say I'm not religious myself, it’s just that I tend to give in a lot of times to the vicious temptations, to the guilty pleasure that consumes me like venom. My brain gets consumed by vices, and it takes a lot of time to find the cure to treat myself with. I learned to believe in myself, instead of God, after I had too many disappointments in life. I prayed for help, but it never came my way. So, I have decided that I'm better off on my own, believing in my own strength and whatever hardships life throws at me I will be able to overcome on my own, instead of believing in a God and waiting for guidance and to be saved.

People started filling inside the church as silence settled upon the hall, the priest coming out to stand in front of the altar. It was the moment I suddenly forgot how to breathe. My mouth fell open as slowly I leaned towards Wooyoung.

"Okay, since when did our old and dusty priest become a young and handsome one?" I whispered to my brother, surprised. The last thing I could remember, as I came here ages ago, was our priest looking like a cute grandpa. This priest on the other hand, was the complete opposite of the lovely old man.

He was tall with his body hidden underneath his black long vestment, but even that couldn't hide his broad shoulders, which could be compared to mountains. Wait a minute…since when were priests buff?

Am I in another universe, suddenly? What am I seeing? Why is he so handsome with his black framed glass?

His black hair was whipped back carefully, little strands falling to his forehead. And his face?! Oh my God, literally, I have never seen more beautiful features likes his before. His jawline was as sharp as a knife, his cat-like eyes watching the people whom came here to hear his wise words, that came from his pretty, almost cherry red, lips. I was very enraptured by this man and I felt very guilty for checking him out for thousands of reasons; one, I was sitting in church and these thoughts were very inappropriate; second…he was a freaking priest, which implied that he was the most innocent human being on earth, he can't even look at girls, let alone do even as much as touch them. My eyes fell on his hands, which were holding the Bible, his palm spreading out underneath it with the veins on his hands showing. I couldn’t control my thoughts as I imagined his long fingers tracing down my neck, leaving goosebumps in its wake.

Wooyoung chuckled quietly, "He’s a newbie. Just got here a month ago, but everyone is all over him already." My brother's voice brought me back to reality as I shook my head to clear my mind of the embarrassing thoughts.

"My dearest brothers and sisters…" The priest started speaking, his low voice sending shivers through my body. The white rosary around his neck was on full display.

From then on, all I could see were his beautiful face and lips, which moved with each smoothly spoken word. I couldn't take my eyes off him; he was like a magnet and I was the iron being attracted to it. It was silent around me; all I could hear was my own quick heartbeat. Just until he started preaching. Suddenly, his soft voice reached my ears and everything just made sense.

"God is here to help you, even in times when you turn your back on him. He watches you still; he protects you still. But he can't protect you from everything. Bad things need to happen in your life so you learn from them, squeezing every lesson out of it so that you can stand up again with your head held high. People make mistakes, and that is what makes us human. Just imagine if God protected you from all bad things, not letting you make any mistake. You’d think that your life was perfect…" He paused so the people would consume what he’s said as he looked around, watching the people in front of him, who were looking up at him like he was God himself. As he was looking around, his eyes suddenly locked onto mine and watched me sharply. I couldn't breathe, "…but the reality is, no one can be perfect, because nothing is perfect. If everything were, life would be boring…we learn from the mistakes we make, because sometimes there's no one behind our back, just ourselves, to keep us going. This is the purpose of God. He gives you lectures in these alone times, so that you can learn how to be your own best friend, so you can love yourself before you love someone else. This is the reason we shall never turn our back to God, he gives us hope and brings us the light. Amen." His eyes were on mine all the while he spoke, and I was stunned. My heart raced like hell; those words felt like they were aimed right at my heart. It reminded me of my old self, who never loved herself, not even for a short period.

I was still mulling over the priest’s speech in my mind as we stood outside the church, when suddenly I saw him standing in front of my family, still holding the Holy Bible. He was smiling at my mother as if they knew each for ages, his dimples showing on both of his cheeks, his eyes turning into crescents. I seriously needed to get my shit together.

"Is she your daughter, who moved away, Mrs. Jung?" He looked at me curiously.

"Yes, she is. Come here." My mother motioned for me to get closer as if I was still twelve years old.

The priest came closer to shake my hand, "I don’t think we’ve met before; my name is Choi San. I'm the new priest." He said with a soft tone as his face beamed with nothing but kindness.

I shook his hand, "Nice to meet you, I'm Jung Y/N." I slightly smiled at him, feeling a little embarrassed due to the thoughts that went through my mind during his service.

We were staring at each other; his hands still haven’t released mine as if the both of us were stunned into sculptures. My mother's voice pulled us back to reality, and San nervously coughed into his palm. What was that?

"My daughter teaches English to little kids in the nearby big town, she just graduated a year ago." My mother said proudly, her palm patting my back with a smile.

"Oh, that is a very great job. It needs a lot of patience, I assume." He seemed genuinely interested.

"Ah, yes, it's a miracle when the kids sit in one place. It's demanding and tiring, but I like it." I smiled at him, trying to seem mature.

"Hang in there, you’ve got this. I can imagine you as a teacher, it fits you well, and I'm sure you are good at it." I didn’t know if I was simply imagining it, but his smile dissapeared for a second as he was glared at me with sharp eyes. I swear to God, he looked like an animal full of desire. And for priests, desire was the last thing they were allowed to feel.

Days later I found myself sitting in a pub, next to San. I can't believe I'm saying this, but the night lead us somehow here, sitting at the bar and talking about anything and everything.  

The night started off with me going out with my childhood friends to drink something, because we have missed seeing each other. We went to a pub called Silver. The bar could be linked back to our childhood as a playground lay in its place instead back then, when we were mere kids. How fun life was, a place where we used to play as kids now was a place where we got drunk until we blacked out. At least my friends managed to do that, I was still hanging on. My friends had drunkenly rested their heads on the table where we initially sat at.

So, I had texted their husbands to ‘come collect their women’. They had come after them as all of my childhood friends had someone, except me. One of my friend’s told me that they were going to take me home. The night was wild, I could barely see, but somehow as I was looking around the bar, my jaw fell open as I saw someone. That someone being Choi San, the priest himself. He was sitting on a barstool, his back facing me. He was wearing a black turtleneck, broad shoulders on full display, which curved into a tiny waist. I was shocked over the fact that he was hiding a body like that under the black vestments. So, I told my friend that I would be staying for a little longer.

I had stumbled next to him as he sat by the bar, "Since when do priests drink alone in a pub?" I asked frowning, the words coming out of my mouth a bit slow. Giving him a closer look, the black turtleneck was tight against his thick neck, a silver necklace with a big cross reached between the middle of his pectorals, which were big. The black turtleneck he wore was tucked inside his elegant black pants. He looked like a God, but not a good one.

He looked at me a little surprised, his lips curving into a smile when he saw it was me,

"Is it set in stone that priests can't drink alone in a pub now?" One glass of whiskey was casually sitting between his fingers.

I frowned at that, feeling a little dizzy, "I mean…I guess not?"

He chuckled watching my face as I pouted at the realization, "You are cute." His smile never dissapeared.

I frowned again, analyzing his face, "Can priests say such things as well?" It was just weird; I spoke without thinking first.

San started to laugh at that loudly, his laugh was so soft it melted my heart. As he laughed, he raised his open palm up to his mouth, a golden ring decorating his index finger, his eyes formed into crescents as he looked like a cute cat, "So, do you think priests can't say anything at all? That they can't even look at cute girls like yourself?" He stopped laughing and leaned a little closer to my face, his voice low with bass.

My cheeks heat up from his closeness. What was he doing again? The man sitting in front of me was the world's biggest question mark, he acted very suspiciously. I leaned backwards, away from him as he looked at me with his sharp eyes, eyeing me up and down.

"Are you really a priest?" I folded my arms over my chest, looking at him suspiciously.

"Of course, I am." He smiled at me again with that adorable smile, which wasn't on his face mere seconds ago.

"You don’t act like it." I said leaning towards the counter to ask for some water from the barista.

"You didn't like my service on Sunday?" He asked, analyzing my face.

"I did, you said some wise words, I must admit." I said as I opened the water bottle to drink. As I drank, I felt his gaze fell on my neck, watching me as I gulped the water down. Chills ran through my body.

"C'mon, I'll take you home." He said, standing up.

"You were sipping whiskey minutes ago, are you crazy?" I said while looking up at him, as he stood next to me.

"Priests can drive while drinking, so come on, you are a bit drunk. I have to take care of the locals, as a priest." He said with a smile, his voice soft as a light breeze while he offered his hand for me to take.

I just looked at it, and after a few seconds of pondering, took it. He grabbed my hand firmly, and lead me out of the pub.

The summer night was a little cold, as clouds hid the stars above us, and the breeze sent shivers down my body.

"Are you cold?" San stopped, putting his hand on my back to caress it.

Okay, this was starting to get very weird. I just wanted to go home.

"I'm okay, just want to go home." I replied, trying to distance myself from him.

He silently led the way towards his car, which was an old black Dodge with some silver framing on the windows. Okay, he was a rich priest then, I guess.

The way towards my home was silent and a little uncomfortable. I just wanted to get away from this weird situation, away from him, because the longer I was with him, the stronger I wanted to give into the biggest sin trap. That being the realization that I started feeling attracted to a fucking priest.

When he stopped the car, I was ready to get out, but when I reached for the handle, it did not open. I looked at San frowning.

"Oh, sorry, it needs more pressure to open, this thing is as old as my grandpa." He slowly leaned towards me, reaching his hand out towards the handle. His face was close to my own, there wasn't even an inch between us. He cracked the door open, but his face remained close, and I was so stunned I couldn't move my limbs to get away from him. My heart was racing, I was terrified he might hear it. Then all I could see was him leaning closer, towards my cheeks, and he pecked it softly, like a feather.

"Good night, darling." He whispered into my ear. I could feel his hot breath against my cheek, which melted into my skin, not even letting my body process it. He leaned back in his seat and pretended like nothing had happened. I swear to God, I believed I imagined the whole scene.

When I came to my senses, I quickly scrambled out of the car and speed-walked towards my house, leaving him there without a word.

I might be going insane, but I just couldn't process what happened. This man was a whole mystery, there was no way a priest would act like this, at least not a real one.

My suspicions started getting valid as on some days, when I was walking home from the summer school I was teaching at, I accidentally saw our precious priest in casual clothes, which was opposite of what a priest would wear. For example, I saw him one time in ripped jeans and leather jacket, was it what priests wore these days? He was always with some guys as they seemed to be doing some business. The first time I saw him, I wasn't sure if it was really San, but when I spotted him the second time as well, I was sure it was him. And I couldn't believe he fooled a whole fucking town with his sweet and innocent act of a priest, one everyone adored. But the truth was that he was a fucking menace, lying left and right, pretending to be someone he wasn’t. I didn't know what was going on, but I wanted to find out. There was no way I was going to let him continue fool the whole town. I wanted to get some evidence so that he would be kicked out and punished, so that he wouldn’t get any more innocent people into trouble.

So, I started following him around. I saw him on days when he completed his priest duties, visiting families, going to church, holding services. He did his job well, his acting was very convincing, everyone believed it. But during the night? He disguised himself very well, so that I wouldn’t really understand what was happening, but I knew he was meeting with some sort of gang on some nights, giving money over to them for something in exchange.

One evening, as I was following San through an alley, he had reached the end of it. He had just turned left, so I followed after him. But when I turned left as well, I couldn’t see him. I looked around, frowning as I wondered where he could have gone so fast, when suddenly, all I could feel was being pushed against the cold brick wall, fingers crawling around my neck, holding me still. I opened my eyes, which I had closed from the sudden impact. I came face to face with San's furious expression as he looked down at me. His hair fell into his eyes and they looked deadly, sharp.

"Had a good time following me, darling?" His voice was low, like a furious thunder. When he tilted his head, he looked like a psycho. His leather jacket had tightened around his biceps as he squeezed my throat. The same cross was still around his neck, just like at the pub.

"Who the fuck are you?!" I looked up at him, words hardly coming out of my mouth as his hand was still around my throat.

"Stop sticking your nose into everything, and just go home!" He raised his voice a little and loosened his hand just barely around my neck.

I took that as an opportunity, and grabbed his hand, just to tear it off my neck, "What the fuck San? Are you insane? Stop fucking fooling everyone, and get the fuck out of here!" I shouted at him; I was shacking from anger that boiled inside me.

"You have no idea what is going on, so please, just go home!" He started calming down a little as he looked behind his back from time to time. He was acting even more suspicious.

"Then tell me what this is. Cause I'm so fucking conf—" I was interrupted by an ear cracking breaking sound, followed by a loud engine.

"Fuck, they are here." San quickly grabbed my wrist and pulled me along, running out of the alley to his black Dodge, that was parked on the sidewalk, waiting for us patiently.

"What the fuck is happening?" I said as he opened the passenger seat's door, and pushed me down into the seat.

"Just sit in the car, Y/N, there's no time for questions. We have to get away from here." He closed the door with a loud thump and ran towards the other side of the car, just to sit behind the wheel and ignite the engine to life.

My heart thumped like crazy, I didn't understand what was happening. All I could see was San driving like a maniac, checking the side mirrors all the time as I saw a big black Jeep following after us madly. San geared up and pushed the gas pedal to the hilt, we were almost flying. The engine threatened to jump out of the bumper from the sudden speed. We were on the highway, a lot of cars around us, but San very quickly dodged all of them. We sped past them like lightning, just for San to suddenly swerve right and get us onto a lane leading away from the highway, then he swerved right again, then left. I lost the direction we were going in, all I could see was the black Jeep that chased us now having disappeared into the cold, and scary, night. San hadn’t stopped yet, he was driving us far away from our little town. I was terrified to speak up, I just knew this was going to be the end of me. All because I'm stupid and I can't sit on my ass and mind my own business. All because I just had to follow a fucking priest, who wasn't even a priest.

After having driven for half an hour in deafening silence, we finally stopped in front of a big mansion. I looked up at it through the windshield. So, this was going to be the location of my murder? I guess it would be fine, right? At least it's a nicer place to be killed at.

I couldn't look into San's eyes, but I felt him staring at me. My body was still a little shaky from the sudden adrenaline, I tried to calm down myself and accept my ridiculous fate.  

"Hey, Y/N?" San spoke up after minutes of being in the silent and dark car. I guess he was waiting for me to calm down, and for himself as well.

I still couldn't look into his eyes as tears flooded in my eyes, the adrenaline was gone and its demise left nothing behind but fear. I don’t know if I was ever this scared in my whole life before.

I felt San's hand touching mine, very carefully. He might’ve realized that I was terrified, so he didn’t want to scare me anymore, "Hey, look at me." His voice was sweet again, like candies.

I breathed in and out, closing my eyes, to somehow fight against my fear, and then slowly turned towards him. As I looked at him and he saw my teary eyes and terrified expression, his features softened into a worried expression.

"Fuck, Y/N, I won't hurt you! I'm so sorry, darling." He cupped my cheeks, tears appearing in his eyes as well. Upon seeing his worried expression, I somehow felt kind of relieved.

"Aren't you going to kill me?" I asked in a whisper looking, down at my hands in fear.

"Look at me, Y/N!" His fingers curled around my chin to lift my head up. I somehow managed to look into his eyes again, and the softness I saw in them made me relax a bit more, "Of course, I won't kill you, don't say foolish things. I could never hurt you."

He cupped my face again, caressing my cheeks, "I'm sorry if I scared you, darling."

"What is going on?" I whispered again as the words hardly came out of my mouth, having gone dry like a desert.

 "C'm here." He took my hand and pulled me towards himself, making me crawl over the center console and straddle his lap. His hands immediately held onto my waist and pulled me closer to himself.  I circled my arms around his neck carefully as he pulled me down to his chest and hugged me tightly. I took a deep breath of his sweet candy-like cologne, the skin of his neck warm.

"I'm sorry for scaring you. I just…there is a lot going on, and I lost my head for a second. Please, forgive me…" His hands ran up and down my spine, caressing it, leaving nothing but shivers in its wake. His body was a like a magnet, I couldn't detach myself from it, it felt impossible.

"Tell me what’s going on." I whispered into his neck weakly, closing my eyes.

"Well, I'm not a priest." He said, still caressing my back.

I scoffed, "Wow, shocking news."

"How did you figure it out?" His hand slowly traveled up to the hair on my nape, massaging my scalp as I felt my body temperature rise, comically thinking that I was going to slip right through his fingers from the warm touch.

"I saw you a few times with those people…" The way he started massaging my scalp became a little firmer, and a moan almost slipped through my lips "…doing some business, I assumed. So, I started following you."

"My darling couldn't stay away from me, huh?" His hand resting on my waist slowly slipped under my blouse, his hot fingers starting to trace my warm skin up and down. Suddenly, the fantasy I had in mind while watching him in church, during the service, fought its way to the forefront of my mind, it being his hands slowly tracing down the curves of my body. I would’ve never thought that it was really going to happen.

I slowly lifted my head up from his chest to look into his eyes, which left a fire in its wake. The chill I felt an hour ago was gone in seconds, and I have never felt hotter in my life before seeing the heated desire in his eyes, it could’ve burned me up whole.

"Why are you doing this?" I asked him, trying to get rid of the tension between us.

"That’s a very long story, darling." He leaned his forehead against mine and closed his eyes. He pulling me impossibly close to himself as he held my waist with both hands.

"The night is long now that you have kidnapped me." I whispered barely inches away from his lips as they were almost touching mine.

"Yeah?" He whispered back, his lips hovering over mine, ghosting against them. His hands ran up my warm body passionately, his nails digging into my skin roughly.

I hummed at that, as words couldn't escape my lips, his hands on my skin making my stomach drop. He breathed shakily against my lips and I felt his body getting hotter as he finally pressed his lips against mine hungrily. I kissed him back with greed, our lips moving in sync against each other, my dry lips now fully wetted with his saliva, which tasted like sweet candies. His right hand tangled into my hair, running his fingers through it and it made me moan against his lips. San took the opportunity to slip his tongue inside my mouth, discovering every inch of it as my tongue danced along his passionately. I grinded down against his crotch, and he let out a guttural groan at the stimulation. His hand on my waist slipped down to my ass, and he grabbed it harshly just to push me down against himself harder. We both let out a moan at the feeling, and we separated to get some air as I slowly started feeling dizzy from the lack of oxygen. His forehead pressed against mine as we both breathed heavily against each other's mouths.

"We should stop…" San whispered against my mouth, his lips touching mine as he kissed me again, now a little slower. He sucked on my lower lip to take it between his teeth, and bit it so hard that blood started to drop down my chin, seeping into the collar of my blouse. I winced from the sudden pain, making me grind down harder against him. I have long lost my sanity; I have lost against the sins that caged me in until I wasn't aware of anything at all around me.

"Why?" I asked weakly as we separated again.

"Because I want to fuck you properly, on a bed." He told me, sharp eyes boring into my own, almost as if I had no other choice but to obey him. My body shook from the desire I felt for San, and I really had no other choice but to obey his wishes and let him fuck me senseless, giving in to the guilty pleasures.   

Part 2->

[bengals-barnesbabe]

Imagine your first wash day at Joe's...

word count: 1.1k

a/n: JB9 taglist is now open, if you’d like to be on it comment 'tag me🏈’ and you’ll be added. If you want to be taken off at any point dm me -babe :)

main masterlist

When you first started dating, Joe had only ever seen your hair in a protective style or wrapped in a scarf, granted you met in the summer so those were your safest options.

As time went on and you grew closer, you began to wear your hair out more which required much more work, so you left a mini hair care bag at his place. It only had a few essential items like a leave in, edge control, mini spray bottle, some hair oil and a pack of silk scrunchies. Since you spent the majority of the time at his place he believed that was all you needed to maintain your 4b/4c hair.

You moved in with him a month ago, and today is your long awaited and very much needed wash day. The weather in Cincinnati finally cooled down enough for you to let go of the braids, so you planned to do mini twists. You wanted to start as soon as possible, so when Joe left at 8 in the morning you gathered your bucket of haircare products and locked yourself in the bathroom.

♡ ♥︎ ♡

It was about noon when Coach Taylor let his players out, they had a game that Sunday so he didn't want to run them too ragged. Joe, Tee and Ja'Marr decided to grab a bite to eat before heading to Joe's to cool off.

The moment the 3 men enter your living room is the exact moment you remember that you may have neglected to tell your boyfriend of today's significance.

"Hey babe, we stopped by that place you liked so I brought you- woah." Joe looks wide eyed at the organized mess of different combs/brushes, gels and bottles of hair products with you in the center of it.

You nervously smile at the trio. "Hi." You quickly finish the twist you're on and pause the movie you're 'watching'.

"Are we interrupting something- ohhh yea mhm got it. Let's go, Tee." Ja'Marr says assessing the situation.

"Yo wait, can you do mine next? You know, when you get a chance." Tee asks.

"Man, she aint doing yo crusty ass fade. I'm definitely next."

"There ain't nothing wrong with my cut." The two wide receivers argue on the way out.

You chuckle before turning back to your boyfriend, "I may have forgot to tell you today's wash day." You say sheepishly.

"You think?" He shakes his head and takes a seat on the cleanest spot next to you. "This is a lot, when did you get all of this?"

"I've had it the whole time, most of it stays in the closet a majority of the time." You shrug moving around some of the products so he can stretch out. He gladly scoots in closer and analyses your work in progress.

You had just finished the back before they walked in, your hair is pretty thick and a decent length so washing it took about 2 hours. Then you decided to make your life easier by making the process harder and blowing out the entire thing, that took another hour.

"The line in the back is crooked, but its look pretty nice overall."

You immediately smacked his chest. "Joey, what the hell."

"What'd I do? Do you not want me to be honest?" You glared at him.

"You've been hanging out with Ja'Marr for too long."

He chuckles and presses a kiss to your head, "baby you are the most talented, amazing and most beautiful woman I've ever had the pleasure to meet. And you are doing an absolutely fantastic job on your hair."

"Much better, now let me wash my hands before I see if you actually got my order right." You teased.

"I know you better than I know myself Y/n, you need to stop doubting my 'boyfriend skills'."

While you're gone he couldn't help but look at every single product in his vicinity. Trying not to knock over any of the open bottles of oil, he spots a bright blue gel-cream and reaches for it.

"Doo Gro, well I am growing out my hair." His curiosity getting the best of him, he scoops some out of the jar and sniffs it for safety reasons. Unable to place the scent, he rubs it in his hands then rakes his hands through his hair.

"Joe, what are you doing?" He jumps at your voice, effectively knocking over your bag of combs.

"Shit, baby. What does it look like?" He says now cleaning the mess of combs, in shapes and sizes he'd never seen a day in his life.

"It looks like you wanna be a giant grease ball." You snort picking a handheld mirror off the floor and putting it in his face.

"Jesus, I didn't put that much in." The dollop he picked up had somehow multiplied and made it look like he'd meant to slick back his hair.

"Aww my poor greasy baby, I hope you rubbed it into your scalp as well." You said picking up your plate and shoving the food in your mouth.

"I think I got that covered, does this stuff wash out- Y/n baby calm down it's not going anywhere." He stares wide eyed at the plate that's been half eaten in mere seconds.

"I know, I just haven't eaten since like yesterday. It probably does, just not all of it. At least you'll get thicker hair out of this," You can't help the giggles coming out as you continue to look at your boyfriend's head.

"It's not that funny." He bites his bottom lip as his own start to take over.

"You look like the kids that cover themselves in vaseline and peanut butter." The room's completely filled with your laughter to the point that everything has been forgotten.

"If doing your hair has always been this fun, let me help all the time." He smiles as the laughter subsides.

You shake your head, "I'll let you wash it next time and we'll see if you still wanna be included. Even with your giant football arms, you'll be tapping out before we get to deep conditioning."

He smirks, "all I hear is that you like my arms."

You scoffed and gave him a good once-over, "oh I like more than your arms." Biting your lip, you sit yourself in his lap.

"Oh yea, tell me more." His eyes blazed with desire as your hands run up his arms and down his chest.

"I love how big you are, but you already knew that." You smirk.

"Fuck." He growls pulling your lips flush against his.

₊˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧ ﾟ.

a/n: inspired by my HS self making the fact that I learned to do my hair during quarantine and mastered mini twists enough for it to become my entire personality. she was very humbled when they became a trend lol, I still love them tho and my nephew who covered himself in vaseline not once but 3 times. :)

[maji-aries]

𝕺𝖇𝖊𝖉𝖎𝖊𝖓𝖙 𝕷𝖎𝖙𝖙𝖑𝖊 𝕭𝖎𝖙𝖈𝖍~

alpha!konig x omega!reader x alpha!ghost

Tw: oral (m! giving and recieving), throat fucking, breeding, cockwarming , threesome, stomach bulge, kinda dub-con, face sitting, a bit thigh riding, fingering.

~Ghost POV~

It was just another day like many. Get up ,eat ,patrols ,repeat. Boring and draining until I walked down the halls with a good college of mine ,Konig. Despite us both being alphas we got along..well most of the time. Most of us here were alphas ,We had an Omega here a year ago as far as I remember but he died on the battle field. To no ones surpise being honest.

Walking down into our quarters. It felt like every never in my body was suddenly on edge ,I looked over at my friend. I could only see his pupils delate and the way he was beginning to sweat under his sniperhood before both of us knew exactly what drove us wild...only a sweet and innocent little Omega in fresh heat could cause something like this.

Neither of us wasted any time to follow that sweet ,sweet scent of pheremones in the air. To our suprise the alluring smell of list brought us right to **our* room..So our little cadet was indeed just an Omega that hid herself from us what a naughty ,naughty girl... Quickly bursting into the door we already saw her on the bed ,panting ,sweating ,curled up on her bed with a nest built of our clothing. I could already smell that sweet cunt calling for me..Before I even registered it Konig had ripped off his Sniperhood ,barley able to contain himself from pounching on this sweet little thing. And fuck would I be a lier if I didnt want to sink my teeth into that delicate little neck. Growling ,both of us hungrily walked over to her. The fear yet begging to be knotted in her eyes was all we needed to know. Neither of us had to say a word before that obedient little bitch in heat rolled onto her back ,exposing that cute tummy.. which soon will bulge with cum ..to us."Please- I.." ,she panted ,begging softly , "I dont know whats going on.." "A first time heater hm?.." ,Konig chuckled darkly ,the thrive to ruin that innocent litte slut was written all over his face. She nod pathetically ,whinning softly for us. My friend was the first to climb onto the bed with her ,quickly getting rid of his ,either way ,sweaty shirt. I could hear him growling before he went down on her. Grabbing her by the legs and dragging her towards him ,pulling her onto his lap. And fuck would I be a lier if this didnt turn me on ,I decided to be patient for now ,sitting down on the edge of the bed while slowly palming my already hard cock through my pants.. Konig on the other hand wasnt patient ,he quickly got to work on undoing her shirt ,as she wrapped her delicate arms around his neck he quickly began to grope those perfect breasts. Not to big ,not to small ,perfectly fitting into the palm. And shit ,it almost made me cum on the spot when I heard her moan and his groan fill the air. "I bet those nipples are begging to get sucked hm?..Little Omegas like you are always so sensitiv in theire heat..", he chuckled darkly before unclipping her bra ,throwing it off to the side. Damn was it a sight to see those perfect tits bounce slightly ,semi-erect nipples begging to be sucked. And rather quickly was theire begging aknowleged as I heard Konigs slurps fill the air. Watching her arch her back ,throw her head back and moan as her hands tangeled into his air. It was to much. Even if I wanted to be patient I simply had to ,pulling down my pants and slowly teasing my sensitiv cockhead with my thump. My friend on the other hand rolled her sensitiv nipples between his fingers ,pulling and pinching them. Earning moan after moan from that eager little Omega. Mindlessly she began to grind her hips along his tigh.."That sweet little pussy must be begging for friction" ,I tought to myself." Yeah ,you like riding my thigh?", Konig groaned ,flexing his thigh before grabbing her hips ,controlling the pace as he slowly dragged that delicious cunt along his thigh. It was one hell of a show to see these two get all hot and bothered. Like a real time porn and I was defenetily not complaining.

Watching my friend drag his tounge along the line of her tits before sucking on one of those nipples ,hell ,what would I give to suck on those breasts. I heard him groan as he moved his hand down ,his thump finding her sweet little clit. Rubbing tight circles into the sensitiv nerve bundle ,adding to the sensation of her slick folds dragging along his thigh.This was simply to much ,no holds barred I wasnt able to keep myself in control any longer. I had to get a taste of that sweet wettness. "Move man." ,I growled under my breath as I stomped over. Snatching that sweet omega from his lap and throwing her onto the bed. Ripping off any remaining clothes that could get between me and my meal. "Verdammnter Bastard." ,I heard him snarl. He could be pissed all he wanted tho ,I'd get my dessert now. It was his time to wait and watch while I had my fun. She looked all shy ,rubbing those soft thighs together desperate in the need of friction. Laying down on my back I pulled her ontop of me ,my hands locking around her thighs as I pulled her waiting cunt to my face ,yet she pulled back ,hesitating. "I'll suffocate you.." ,that sweet thing muttered nervously. "Even if you do ,that horny slut would die a happy man ,now sit down" ,Konig demanded while pushing her hips down. I felt her weight ontop of me ,yet it didnt bother me. She earned herself a groan once I let my tounge run through her slit and those plush thighs locked around my head. I was eating that sweet pussy like a man starved ,lapping between her entrance and that soft clit ,licking..teasing..sucking those sensitiv sweet spots. I couldnt see ,but I felt her arching her back ,moaning and crying my name while her delicate fingers gripped onto my hair. It felt like she tried to shove my face deeper into that sweetness and Let me tell you ,I was sureley not gonna complain. "Fuck- you taste so damn good.." ,I rasped ,getting lost in the moment before I felt someone grab onto my manhood. Slowly dragging theyre hand along my shaft. I mindlessly bucked my hips up into the delicious friction until something clicked. This wasnt this sweet Omegas hand ,the hand felt way to rough and big for that ,her hands were still tangeled in my hair anyway actually. And once I heard that motherfucker groan ,I knew it. "Konig-!" ,I snarled. That bitch only chuckled in response."Relax..keep licking that pussy clean while I work on some..business" ,he snickered before my eyes almost rolled back. The sensation of his warm mouth greedily welcoming my swollen tip ,his lips wrapping around my length ,swallowing inch after inch ,painfully slow. I never tought I was intrested in men but damn was that tall-ass good at sucking dick.

While Konig seemed to be enjoying his meal I was enjoying mine. Meanwhile my hands got to work too ,two of my fingers finding theire way into that tight little cunt ,rubbing and stimulating her g-spot while sucking on her clit did wonders on slowly working that tighness open. Heavy slurps filled the room as Konig had managed to swallow all of me ,his tounge massaging the underside of my shaft ,bobbing his head up and down as his hand gently squeezed and played with my balls. Shit-..I never knew my family jewelery was that sensitiv but fuck did it feel good.

That cocky fuck has been edging me for a while now ,no matter how much I bucked my hips he would always stop sucking last second. "Shove his fucking head down-!" ,I snarled between licking those tasty juices. And ta-da. My obedient princess obeyed in no time ,grabbing onto Konigs head and shoving it down ,all the way till his nose touched my pubic bone.He gagged loudly ,his pretty throat tightening around my thick shaft. Fuck ,I could've came right on the spot. What a little pleausre can do to a women ,mindlessly obeying commands. Either way ,I was just as eager to taste her cum so I let my fingers work quicker. Curl and press up against her g-spot.

"Im gonna- Simon please-! Im gonna-!" ,she cried out. And before she could even finish her sentence I felt her walls almost crush my fingers. Her juices flowing out of her and right onto my eager tounge. Like the good man I am ,I quickly licked up all her juices. Konig in the meantime continued to slurber around my shaft ,I could feel his saliva ,or my pre. I dont even care being honest ,running out of his mouth and all over my lap. With a finally squeeze of my balls. I came ,harder than I expected. Konig groaned and gagged around my twitching cock as ropes of hot white slowly ran down his throat. And before I had to even say a word. He swallowed like the good boy he was. That sweet Omega was panting ,almost limp as she barley had the strength to keep herself upright. And once Konig released my shaft I settled her down on the bed. "Let her head hang of the bed.",my friend rasped with a smug grin.And so I did. Moving her either way limp body so her head hung off the bed slightly ,I didnt care what Konig had planned. What I cared for was this pussy. Grabbing her thighs and spreading them pretty legs once more as I grabbed my dick by its base. Slowly teasing my red tip around her entrance. That sweet yelp was all I needed to know before I slid the tip in. That slut was so wet it slid in like butter. Her thighs trembeled in my hands as I slowly inserted inch after inch. She arched her back of the bed ,panting like a dog while her eyes rolled back. "Süße Schlampe." ,Konig cooed before rubbing his tip with pre over her lips. , "Now say Ah~.."Obediently she opened her mouth ,placing her hands against his thighs before letting him stuff his dick into her mouth like some cheap whore. She gagged ,yet I heard her obediently slurp and suck his cock. And taken his groan and the way his hips bucked. Konig loved it. Those tight walls wrapped around me- fuck I felt like a vrigin again ,getting pussy for the first time was nothing compared to this hot ,tight little cunt. She had adjusted enough ,in my eyes ,before I began to gently pull out and slam back in. Her whole body rocked forward ,and watching those tits bounce? Incredible. My hand moved between our connected bodies to rub her clit. My goal was to leave a mark on that body. My dick reaching depths she probably didnt know existed. Fucked from rear and front she took it like a slut. Our pretty little slut at that. It didnt take long before Konig shoved his cock balls deep into that sweet mouth ,groaning: "cumming-" ,before slowly pulling out of her mouth. "Gutes Mädchen.." ,he praised while gently caressing her throat. His sharp gaze now lingered on me as I fucked this pussy into exercy. She was a moaning mess ,arching her back before she came without a warning ,probably to dumbfucked to get a proper word out. The way that already tight pussy griipped my cock made it feel like she was crushing it. Which ,to no ones suprise ,made me cum instandly at that tightness. I let her ride out her delicious high by lazily rolling my hips into hers ,rubbing her clit raw until she jerked away at the slightest friction. I pulled out slowly ,watching my cum ooze out of her little hole..Now as I looked at that sweaty ,fucked out mess of an Omega ,her tummy indeed had a slight bulge from my cum nestling inside her. "Ah ah ah..dont waiste those precious juices." ,Konig spoke sofly yet with a chuckle before he pulled her into a spooning position. Slowly inserting his thick shaft into her twitching hole ,stopping any cum from seeping out further. She moaned at the sensation yet stayed limp and all cuddly in his arms. "Cockwarming eh?" ,I teased. "What can I say ,I like a warm ,tight pussy wrapped around me." ,Konig snickered back before beginning to caress her hair. A little cuddle time after this didnt sound to bad..so I decided to join them ,getting next to our well bred little Omega and wrapping my arms around her.

[vaguely-concerned]

Ever since watching The Wire for the first time, my brain has doggedly kept working away at the Especially the lies of it all, and specifically at how much the structure beneath the different stories Garak tells contributes to the overall meaning of what he’s trying to say. While the contradicting narratives of course expertly obscure the factual circumstances of his getting exiled, using them also allows him to tell aspects and facets of the emotional truth I don’t think he ever could have, if he’d simply told the actual story of what happened. (It’s very Varric-core of him honestly.)

The first story — the ‘oh, you think you know me?’ story — says I have done things that would sicken you if you knew any detail of it. It’s clearly meant to scare Bashir away so he’ll leave him to die shamefully in peace already lol. But it’s also one of his (probably much-needed lbr) little lessons to Julian that are so frequent in the beginning, given while Garak still has some hold on himself — “Don’t be so quick to forgive me if you don’t even know what I’ve done; what would you do if this really were the sum total of what I am?” (And Julian seems to surprise him by going ‘Well, exactly the same thing, because no matter who you are I am a doctor. But I sort of take your point.’)

The second story — the letting the orphans go story — says I have failed to smother my soul in its cradle when it was required of me, and I regret that more than anything I’ve done. To my ears this is the one most shot through with active self-loathing too, which is interesting. He’s officially lost the control he’s been clinging to and it’s about to get ugly. His TL;DR is ‘Sentiment is the greatest weakness of all’, even all the way back here. (Which is the one lesson Julian steadfastly refuses to learn, which I think in turn does some serious rearrangement of Garak’s soul over the course of the show haha. Get uno reversed into the process of loving and being loved without shame asshole.)  This is also where he builds up to admitting to having any sort of need for companionship or closeness at all and — so much worse — that Julian’s role in his life actually has fulfilled some of that need, and he’s DRIPPING with defensive venom over it b/c well I get it Garak vulnerability is scary it can take a person like that. 

(I also feel there’s something honest and forbidden in ‘Suddenly the whole exercise seemed utterly meaningless’. I suspect ‘actually… why the fuck are we even doing this???’ is not a welcome sentiment in an Obsidian Order water cooler environment, no matter what you’re saying it about lmao. The very first seeds of him deconstructing the things he’s been taught about Cardassia and his work might be hinted at here, though they of course take a looong time to come to any real fruition.)   

The third story — the ‘Elim was my best friend’ story — says hey, remember that thing you said once, about how sometimes, you have to be loyal to yourself before you can be loyal to anything else? Well. guess what. I couldn’t even be that lmao. It also furthers that thread of being divided from yourself, split, that having ‘Elim’ as a separate person around in all versions of the story brings in. He’s in control of himself again, but he essentially hands his life and soul over to Julian to decide what should be done with them. 

I’ve done horrible things and it finally caught up with me, I’m getting what I deserve → I let sentiment master me and the fact that I’m too weak to do what’s needed of me shames me more than the evil I’ve done → I fucked up. I betrayed myself and everything I held to, all for nothing, and I have no one to blame for it but myself. But it’s very nice that you’re here anyway, Doctor. (Wow. I didn’t realize quite how isolated and lonely that last one was before right now. The way Tain has shaped him really has just… locked him completely into himself, huh.) We can also see a movement through from a completely professional context in the first story, to an intensely interpersonal and internal context in the last one — even his fake stories spiral in towards intimacy, which I think is what he longs for here even if he can’t quite like. Touch that without the stories as a buffer yet, it’s clearly like touching a hot stove for him to interact with it too directly. 

And you know what I find incredibly interesting the whole way through? Even on his deathbed, where he’s dying from the thing Tain had put in his head, he’s protecting Tain. He puts all the blame for where he is on himself (‘My future was limitless, until I threw it away’), even if he has to employ a strange twisty logic where he’s split himself into two to do it. Don’t get me wrong, Garak has done horrific things all on his own haha, but it’s notable that he almost isolates Tain from that. ‘Tain was the Obsidian Order. Not even the Central Command dared challenge him. And I was his right hand.’ Tain in Garak’s stories is this infallible implacable weirdly distant figure, even now. Indeed, as will make a lot of sense with the revelations further down the line, more than anything it seems the gaze of an abused child desperate for recognition looking up at an idealized (if not in any way nurturing) parent.‘He was retired at that point; he couldn't protect me’, Garak says, as if what he’d need protection from in the first place isn’t Tain himself lmao, as if Tain had no active part in any of this. He never lets blame touch Tain at all. At this stage he would rather consider himself a broken flawed tool than accept that the hands that have wrought and wielded him have ever had any fault in them. AND in the middle of it all, with plausible deniability, on death’s door and knocking meekly to be let in before he must finish the mortifying ordeal of being known and test the even more daunting possibility of being loved, Garak at the same time manages to drop the breadcrumb trail of clues to make it possible for Julian to find Tain if he so chooses and gets in the ‘sons of Tain’ thing too for future dramatic irony purposes. Truly he is the Michelangelo of lying. Every falsehood a multifaceted masterpiece. Elim ‘achieving a state of intertextuality in real life is possible if you work hard and believe in yourself’ Garak. I love him so much. 

I think all of this is why “I forgive you. For whatever it is you did,” works so well, because it too works on a structural level. It’s such a deceptively multilayered response — it has the syntax of a joke, in a way, and it is kind of funny even under the circumstances, but delivered with such earnest warmth and fondness. It’s both recognition and acceptance (forgiveness!). It’s saying ‘I finally understand enough of what you’re trying to tell me beneath and through all that, in whatever way you’re capable of, I see you’ and ‘my answer hasn’t changed (bitch)’. The forgiveness Julian offers here is complete — on principle, and out of personal feeling and empathy (only one of which Garak deigns to respond to during the second story, where he calls it ‘smug Federation sympathy’, placing it more completely on the principle side than it probably is. ‘Dude you’re my friend please don’t just lie down and die in a completely avoidable way on me, who else is going to not only tolerate but actually gleefully enjoy me being annoying as fuck over lunch’ seems to be the subtext that’s a lot harder to acknowledge and invite in for both of them. And yet Tain seems perfectly clear on the fact that Julian is Garak’s friend, which, y’know. Must be fun living with the knowledge that Tain has eyes everywhere looming over you every day haha guess you’d just have to tune that out.) 

Most of all — ’Don’t give up on me now, Doctor’... and he didn’t! He didn’t. Augh. Ow.

[cupidcures]

When Tulips Kiss | Hwang Hyunjin SMAU

CHAPTERS: 𝜗𝜚 5teen | 6teen | 𝜗𝜚 7teen

WORD COUNT: 5.6k (not proofread)

wish you were sober

It was the night of 3RACHA’s album release album, and you were standing in front of Jisung’s house with your arm linked to Jeongin’s and Seungmin’s, you being in the middle. It’s been a hot minute since you last went to a party like this, so you were a bit overwhelmed. Actually, you’ve noticed that you were always at least a little overwhelmed when it came to being surrounded by a crowd of people you weren’t familiar with, but it was something you needed to suck up in order to have that full “college experience.”

The last time you were at a party like this, you ended up in somebody’s bed that you didn’t know. Scary. You didn’t even bother saying bye to him when you left in the morning, hell, you don’t even remember his name.

Parties, drinking, sex, and emotions. That sounds about right!

“Hey Y/N! So glad you could make it!” You heard a voice calling out to you, causing you to snap out of your thoughts. When did we get inside? Well whatever, we’re here now, might as well have fun.

“Hey, Chan! I wouldn’t miss it for the world!” You smiled and unhooked your arms from your friends’, leaning into Chan and giving him a shoulder hug, as he returned it.

“Jisung and Changbin are in the kitchen making drinks. Those idiots are making all sorts of concoctions, so be careful with the amount you drink.” He chuckles before walking away to greet more people coming in.

“Are you drinking tonight?” Seungmin asked you and wrapped his arm around your shoulder as you leaned on his. Jeongin was long gone, you assumed he went to some of his other friends, or maybe went to the kitchen to drink already.

“Yeah, gotta get shit out my mind you know? Why don’t you drink too?” You nudged his side as he groaned in feigned annoyance.

“Me? Drink? Nah. At least not when everybody else is, somebody in the group has to look after everyone, and it’s me.” Seungmin shrugged as you pouted and dragged him along to the kitchen.

“I could stay sober this time so you could have fun! Let loose a bit!”

“It’s okay Y/Nnie, I appreciate it but I’d rather stay sober, to be honest. I like to have full control of myself and full awareness. So drink to your heart’s desire. I enjoy taking care of you guys anyway, as much as I hate to admit it.” Seungmin ruffled your hair as you whined, gaining a laugh out of him.

“Okay okay okay, you’re seriously the best Minnie. I hope you know we all love you so much.”

“Yuck, stop with all the sappy stuff.” He rolled his eyes but failed to hide the soft smile on his face.

“Yoooo Seungmin! Y/Nnie! If I didn’t know any better, I would assume you’re trying to take my wife away from me!” A voice, who you know as Jisung’s hollered out as you both looked in his direction before walking to him.

“You should keep a better eye on your wife then.” Seungmin joked before nuzzling his nose to your cheek as Jisung gasped dramatically, letting out a joyous laugh right after. He took a red solo cup from the counter before filling it up with the… “concoction,” as Chan described it, and handing it to you.

“Taste it,” Jisung smirked as you and Seungmin looked at each other with an uncertain look on your faces.

“Umm... Minnie!! A little sip won’t hurt. Why don’t you try it first?” You held the cup to Seungmin’s face before he fake barfed to the side. “Hell no.”

“Hey! I’m serious, it’s good!” Jisung crossed his arms in an attitude, looking to the side. Then, as quickly as he turned his head to the side, he turned back to look at you with pleading eyes. “Please taste it! It’s not poison I swear.”

“Okay okay okay I’ll taste it.” You laughed as he cheered and waited in anticipation as you took a sip. You widen your eyes in surprise before nodding at Jisung with an impressed smile.

“It’s good! What did you put in it?”

“I have no idea! Thank you for being my guinea pig wifeyyyyy~~~” Jisung grinned before running away as you took a sniff at the drink, trying to figure out what was inside of it. After a few minutes of thinking, you gave up on trying to figure it out and ended up chugging it all in one go. You squeezed your eyes shut and shuddered as the alcohol left its sensation down your throat, opening your eyes a few seconds later only to see Seungmin looking at you in worry.

“Woah. You took that like a champ. Are you doing fine? Do you always drink like this? I’m surprised you trust Jisung’s drink that much. Man doesn’t even remember what he put in it.” He rambled as you giggled and nodded your head to his questions.

“It’s actually pretty good! I like the ratio of alcohol to juice, it tastes better instead of just tasting like straight liquor you know? Not sure what that guy put in the drink, but it’s good.” You went to get more, but Seungmin grabbed the cup out of your hands and poured you more himself, proceeding to take a sip out of it. You waited to see his reaction as he took another sip and nodded in approval.

“You’re right. Too bad he doesn’t remember what’s in it, maybe I would drink more often if it always tasted this good.” Seungmin complimented, giving the cup back to you as you downed it all, once again.

“Damn, no hesitation.” He chuckled as you smiled shyly, the buzzing feeling slowly creeping up on you. Your cheeks started heating up rapidly, catching Seungmin’s attention.

“Are you okay? Do you need a seat?” He asked with concern laced in his voice as you shook your head.

“I’m just getting started, baby!” You booped his nose before pouring yourself another cup as he stifles a laugh.

“What are you laughing at?” You pouted as Seungmin raised both his arms up in innocence.

“Nothing! Let’s get you to sit on the couch though, just in case. You don’t drink like this often.” Seungmin wrapped his arms around your waist to keep you steady as you clung onto his shirt, letting him lead you wherever.

He was right, you don’t usually drink like this, let alone this fast. If you were being honest, you couldn’t forget about what you and Hyunjin talked about in the bathroom. You’ve kept it inside and haven’t talked about it with anyone, and it was getting to you.

But tonight, you intended to get fucking wasted. Why talk about it when you have alcohol?

Seungmin ushered the people shoving their tongues down each other’s throats off the sofa, gaining a nasty look from them, but he couldn’t give a fuck. He sat you down on the sofa and proceeded to take his jacket off to cover your thighs before sitting himself down next to you.

“What are we?” You asked jokingly as Seungmin rolled his eyes. Man, he sure does that a lot. You chugged your drink for the third time that night, and most certainly not the last. You felt the room spinning around you, your vision getting blurry.

Aaaaaand you’ve done it. Maybe you shouldn’t have drank so much in such a short amount of time.

“Want me to refill it?” Seungmin chuckled as you stopped to think about it. You should probably stop, but you weren’t drunk enough, so you nodded your head with a soft smile.

“Thanks.” He nodded back at you before taking the cup out of your hands and heading towards the kitchen.

“Are you guys always that cuddly? Am I blind to have never noticed it before?” A female voice talked to you as you turned to see who it was.

“Chuu! When did you get here? A few minutes ago?” You guessed as she nodded. Your eyes drifted from her face to her hand, which was connected to another person’s hand. Oh?

“Oh, who’s this?” You asked politely, referring to the slightly taller woman that Chuu was holding hands with, noticing how both their faces turned bright red. Ohhhhh.

“Y/N, meet Sooyoung! My girlfriend!” Chuu beamed as the girl next to her, Sooyoung, smiled and stuck her hand out as you shook it.

“It’s so nice to meet you! Take good care of her, she can get a bit crazy sometimes.” The three of you laughed together before it died down.

“We’re gonna get going now Y/N! Stay safe!” Chuu walked away hand in hand with her girlfriend, leaving you alone to your thoughts.

Where was Seungmin?

As if on cue, his hand landed on top of your head as he handed you the cup.

“Y/N, I know this is so sudden but something came up, and I’ve got to go. Can you take care of yourself??” You sensed the panic in his voice as you stood up to hug him.

“Yeah don’t worry about me! I’ll be fine just go! Let me know what’s going on tomorrow.” You reassured as he hugged you back and thanked you. He pulled away and pinched your cheeks, as he always does to say goodbye instead of waving, and left the party, but not before telling you to keep his jacket with you just in case you get cold. Seungmin was always looking after you, and it was times like that when you would think about the future, and how lucky his future girlfriend would be. He never hesitates to take care of you, even if you guys are arguing, and it has always been like this since you were kids. Now you were really alone. You decided to take little sips of your drink this time since you were already far gone enough, you had misjudged it when Seungmin asked if you wanted more earlier.

You observe your surroundings and all the people around you, watching how everyone is in their own world despite being in a room full of people. You enjoyed people-watching, it was always nice to see how people act differently and so uniquely. You watched the couples in the room, unwillingly of course because who would want to watch PDA? And you couldn’t help but think about how it was when you were in a relationship, and you found yourself missing it. Your brain automatically thought of Hyunjin but you quickly shut that thought down.

Why are you thinking of him? You drank the remaining drink in your cup before setting it down on the coffee table, leaning back down onto the sofa, and letting yourself sink in. You spotted Jeongin chatting with Felix and Minho, then Jisung with Chan and Changbin. Looking a bit more to your left, you found that Chaewon finally made it to the party! Though, she came with another friend of hers, Sakura? If you remembered correctly. Maybe it was the alcohol making you feel this way, but you felt lonely. Lonelier than usual. The air in the room was starting to feel stuffier and stuffier, so you went upstairs to where you knew Jisung’s balcony was and went outside to take a breath of fresh air. All the stars were sparkling and it felt like they were all closer, but maybe it was all the drinks playing tricks on your eyes. You were even able to see the planet of love, Venus, so you thought that was cool.

You don’t know how much time passed since you’ve been standing out here on Jisung’s balcony, but it was long enough for someone to notice and approach you.

“Y/N.”

Oh. That voice. You were almost completely certain that it was— “Hwang.” You mumbled without needing to turn back to see who it was as you heard their footsteps approach you and stood by your side, staring at the night sky as well.

“The moon is beautiful, isn’t it?” Hyunjin spoke softly before turning his head to look at you.

“Yeah, I agree. It’s so alluring, don’t you think?” You look back at him as the both of you lock eyes, and suddenly it feels like nothing else exists besides the two of you. Hyunjin takes this time to take in your features, something he wasn’t able to do for the past four years. A privilege, if you will. Your perfectly blushed red cheeks, and the shape of your nose. Your adorable eyes and the lips he loved kissing so much, it was all coming back to him. You had grown up so beautifully, there was no denying that. You have always been a beautiful woman, but it’s different now, and he doesn’t know how to explain it.

“Yeah, it really is alluring.” He murmurs, all his attention directed towards you. You smile up at him and he can feel his heart stop.

“What are you staring at?” You giggle quietly and look away, a bit flustered that he was staring for so long. But he couldn’t help it, who wouldn’t stare at you?

It was this night that gave him the feeling deep down inside that no matter how many years passed that you guys were apart, it will always be you. It has always been you. Will he ever admit it out loud? Hell no. At least, not right now…? He hates the fact that it’s still you that he wants to spend the rest of his life with, even after you had hurt him so fucking much in high school. His heart and his mind were always conflicting with each other, and his mind would win every single time. Hyunjin shrugged the feeling off, excusing his racing heartbeat and blaming it on how much he hated you. He didn’t care if it didn’t make sense, just as long as he was believing anything BUT the fact he was still in love. He told himself that he couldn’t be in love with you and that he SHOULDN’T. It was silly to get back together with someone who hurt you, but the confused and lost look on your face every single time he brought up the past messed with him. He wasn’t able to tell if you were playing dumb or not, but he chose to protect his heart and not give in to temptations, convincing himself that you were just playing dumb.

“So what brings you out here?” You asked the boy next to you, catching him off guard that you would still continue a conversation with him.

“Oh uh. I’m not sure. I just felt like wanting to get away from everyone else for a while. You?”

“Same.” You nodded, and the both of you stood in comfortable silence.

Well, you assumed it to be comfortable silence. But for you? Oh no. Oh no no no, your mind was flooded with thoughts going hundreds of miles per hour. You couldn’t think straight and your heart was pumping, you felt like it was loud enough for even Hyunjin to hear. You and Hyunjin were actually talking face-to-face with no tension between you guys, and all it did was take you back to when you were happy together.

“Do… do you wanna get out of here?” Hyunjin asked in a shy manner as you looked back at him and pondered before responding.

“Hm… sure. Why not? Lead the way, Hwang.” You accepted the offer as he smiled his oh-so-cute smile at you before gently taking your hand and leading you out the front door, to his car.

Hyunjin opened the passenger door for you and buckled you in before getting in the driver's seat to drive off to someplace quiet.

He’s only inviting you to go somewhere else because he didn’t want to be at the party anymore, and you were already with him so he might as well bring you along. Not because he felt the need to look after you while you were drunk and didn’t want to leave you alone or anything… nothing like that!

The two of you were silent the entire car ride, the only sounds in the car were the static coming from the radio and the hum of the car engine. It was peaceful though, and you enjoyed it. You felt like you could float away from how light you felt, the glow of the streetlights was a blur, as for everything else around you.

It didn’t take long, probably around 15 minutes, until the car finally came to a halt. Hyunjin turned the engine off and looked at you, checking how you were feeling.

“You feeling okay?” He asked as you turned your head to him and nodded. He gave you a small, subtle smile in response before getting out of the car and quickly going over to your side to open the door for you as you giggled at his actions.

“So what is this place?” You hummed, stepping out of the car and spinning around to look at your surroundings. Unfortunately, that didn’t help, as your vision was still impaired at the moment.

“I go here a lot whenever I need to clear my thoughts. Or when I just want to be alone.” Hyunjin muttered before placing his hand at the center of your back and holding your hand with the other, leading you to the bench and sitting you down.

“You could see the city lights from here, it’s a beautiful thing. Plus, the stars are brighter out here, so that’s nice.” He expressed and sat down beside you. He turned his head to look at you and admire your side profile, his breath hitching.

“You look….. decent,” Hyunjin mumbled as you looked at him as well, a darker shade of blush creeping on your cheeks, on top of the blood that rushed to your face due to the alcohol, and he chuckled at the look of it.

“Why’d you bring me out here?” You questioned and fiddled with your fingers, staring into the glint of his eyes, to his plump lips, then back to his eyes.

That action didn't go unnoticed by Hyunjin, and he could feel his face quickly heat up before clearing his throat. “I uh, just thought you might want to see it. Also, we’re friends by force.” You couldn’t help but let out a giggle at his last statement, and he laughed along with you. You felt so relaxed around him. Perhaps it was the alcohol? Contrary to feeling relaxed, it also felt like your heart could pump out of your chest. You don’t know what came over you, but you grabbed his hand and placed it on your chest, where your heart is of course.

Hyunjin looked away, flustered at your actions. Why would you put his hand on your chest? Are you testing him?

“Can you feel my heartbeat?”

Oh. Duh.

“Yeah, I can.” He spoke in an embarrassed tone, mentally scolding himself for thinking of something different. Out of all the things that Hyunjin was in denial of, one thing that he couldn’t deny was his physical attraction to you. You were the most beautiful being he had ever laid eyes on, and you still were. He hopes that you think the same way about yourself.

“Why do you hate me so much?” You slurred your words out before your head fell limp on his shoulder. Hyunjin stayed quiet for a while before finally answering, “You hurt me.” He rests his head on top of yours.

“How?”

“You already know.”

And it comes to a complete circle, once again. You sighed in frustration, you weren’t sure how to ever get his side out of him. No matter how much you asked, he wouldn’t tell you how you hurt him and it frustrated you.

“I don’t. I don’t know what I did to hurt you. But I’m still sorry nonetheless.”

Hyunjin hums in response but doesn’t answer to your apology in words.

The two of you cuddled under the starry sky, surrounded by the chilly night air. Friends do this kind of stuff, this is normal! You've cuddled with Seungmin, Chaewon, Jeongin, Chuu, and Jisung. But? Why does it feel so different now?

“Hyunjin?”

“Wow, you called me by my name for once.” He chuckled and held your hand, giving it a light squeeze.

“Can I kiss you?” You asked under your breath, but you were certain that he heard you with the way he stiffened.

“Wha… what?” Hyunjin stuttered as you lifted your head and leaned in dangerously close. He felt your warm breath hit his face, and he could feel himself leaning in towards you as well, until he noticed it. The scent of alcohol in your breath.

Fuck. Hyunjin totally forgot you were drunk, and he cursed at himself for nearly kissing you. He stood up and ruffled his hair back, not looking back at you. “We should get going.”

You couldn’t help but feel disappointed when he rejected your advances, but you shrugged off the heavy, aching feeling in your chest and followed him as he walked towards the car. Even after all the built-up tension that you created between the two of you, he still opened the car door and buckled you in before tending to himself. You were well aware of how he was constantly sleeping around, as he’s very well-known and popular around campus. It only made you wonder if he treated every single girl he was with like this. You would be lying if you said that he wasn’t a gentleman, so you wouldn’t be surprised if he DID treat every girl like this, but little did you know that you couldn’t be any more further from the truth.

As Hyunjin started the car and began driving, you picked up your phone to check if any of your friends had texted you, and to no one’s surprise, they did.

“Hey, Hyunjin?” You called for his attention as he nodded and hummed to indicate that he was listening. “Can I… stay over tonight? My friend is bringing her girlfriend over and she asked if I could sleep somewhere else for tonight.” You asked coyly as he paused for a while, before nodding once more. “Yeah, you can stay over.”

You muttered a thank you and looked out the window, admiring the scenery. Before you knew it, you were knocked out and snoring softly.

When the sounds of your quiet snores reached Hyunjin, he looked over for a second to sneak a peek to confirm his suspicions, and he was correct. You did fall asleep, and you were sleeping soundly in the passenger seat. The passenger seat of HIS car. He chuckled silently and continued on driving, unable to wipe the fond smile on his face.

When Hyunjin finally pulled up to the house he shared with 5 other people. He got out of the car and went to the side that you were on, unbuckled you, and gently lifted you up in his arms, making sure he didn’t wake you up. Closing the car doors and locking it, he brought you inside as silently as he could so as to not attract any attention. After all, what kind of reaction would his friends have to see him carry the person he hates into his bed and tuck her in? They would probably accuse him of being in love. Yeah right.

When he finally brought you to his room and closed the door successfully without anybody noticing, he delicately placed you on his bed like you were a fragile porcelain doll, before heading to the bathroom to wet a cloth and making his way back to you. Sitting on the edge of the bed, he made sure to wipe your makeup off as gently as he could, and when he was finished, he threw the damp cloth in his laundry basket and untied your braids to let it all fall back in place.

Hyunjin stayed next to you for a while, admiring your natural beauty and your sleeping state, you looked so serene and peaceful. This was the first time in years when you didn’t look at him with annoyance in your eyes, and he was grateful. Your beauty never failed to fascinate him and leave him in awe, and he could slowly feel the cold exterior he has constantly shown you, melting away. You made him feel sick. So sick. He was usually so sure of himself when it came to what he wanted, but for you, it was different. He didn’t understand why his heart yearned for you, but it did. Your messy hair, your long eyelashes, and your slightly parted lips as you slept pulled him in even more, and he hated it. He hated the way you made him feel despite everything he did to try and move on from you. He hated how despite the amount of years that had passed, you still had him wrapped around your finger. He hated everything that you made him feel, and yet he’s here taking care of drunken you. He gave in so fast, and it’s pathetic.

Hyunjin lets out a sigh before getting up to grab you a shirt to change you into. Taking a deep breath in, he squeezed his eyes shut before undressing you carefully and so very tender. After successfully doing so, he pulled a fresh shirt over your head and shoulders as it covered all of you. He opened his eyes once he knew you were completely covered, proceeding to tuck you into his blankets and pulling a chair from his desk to the side you were on. He stopped to stare at you once more before hesitantly planting a careful kiss on your forehead as if he were scared to break you.

“I wish you were sober,” Hyunjin muttered quietly before sitting down on the chair to take your hand and intertwine your fingers with his, laying his head on top of your stomach.

“Friends do this kind of stuff. It’s fine..” He fluttered his eyes closed and eventually drifted off to sleep.

~

Sometime later, Jeongin wakes up in the middle of the night with a groan. His head was fucking killing him from all the drinking so he did the first thing that came to his mind, which was to go into someone’s room for hangover pills. The most sensible thing for him to do was go to the person who got drunk the most, and so he did. Exiting his bedroom and knocking on the door softly just in case he was sleeping.

“Hyunjin? Do you have any hangover pills?” Jeongin asked but was met with silence, and so he slowly opened his bedroom room, only to be greeted with a not so surprising surprise. Hyunjin was sleeping on a chair pulled up beside you with his head on your stomach, his hand holding yours, and your other hand entangled in his hair.

Jeongin slowly creeped out and shut the door while giggling and rolling his eyes. “I fucking knew it would happen.”

~

When you finally opened your eyes, you were met with a pounding headache and a throat dry as a desert. You could barely open your eyes when you sat up and looked around the room, but it didn’t look familiar to you, at all.

Oh right… You asked Hyunjin if you could stay over.

You rolled over and hid your face in his pillow, before rolling again for the last time and staring up at the ceiling. You didn’t remember much before asking him if you could stay, besides the fact that Hyunjin took you to an overview of the city, but that’s pretty much it. You were lightheaded and the consequences of drinking… whatever Jisung made… finally caught up to you.

At least you didn’t throw up last night, that would have been embarrassing. Where is Hyunjin anyway?

And as if on cue, the bathroom that connected to his bedroom opened up as steam poured out from being trapped in there. “Oh, you’re awake. I put a glass of water beside you and some hangover pills, you must be dying right now.” Hyunjin spoke casually as he stepped out of the bathroom, revealing his exposed torso with a towel covering his bottom half. Before you could even register that you were staring, practically drooling, he raised an eyebrow at you.

“Are you just… going to keep staring or are you gonna turn around so I could put some clothes on?” Hyunjin chuckled and you squealed and turned around, apologizing for staring. You took this time to take the pills with the water he gave you as you finished all the water in one go, probably what you should’ve done last night instead of alcohol.

“I’m finished, you can turn back around. Are you hungry? I could make you something real quick and bring it to you here, since, well, nobody knows that you’re here with me. The pills will probably upset your stomach if you don’t eat.” He informed as you agreed.

“Yes please.”

“Do you want anything specific?”

“Nothing, I’m fine with anything you give me.”

“Okay, I’ll be right back then. Stay right here.” Hyunjin leaves the room soon after that and so you’re left alone. You notice that he plugged in your phone for you, and you mentally thanked him for doing so before getting on it. You were scrolling on your phone for a while, TikTok, Instagram, Twitter, you name it, and you eventually got bored so you got up to explore the room. Honestly, you probably shouldn’t have done that considering the two of you weren’t close anymore, but that didn’t come to your mind. You admired the decor on the wall, as it was covered with portraits that you could only assume were painted by him. Hyunjin has always been into art and painting even while you guys were together. Instead of buying actual flowers and bouquets since you already have a lot, he would paint you all different kinds of bouquets instead. Hyunjin was truly one of a kind, and you smile fondly at the memories of when you were together.

“Y/Nnie~~” A voice from behind startled you as you turned around, only to find NOT Hyunjin, but Jeongin.

“Oh… hahaaaa… hi Innie…!” You laughed nervously and twiddled your thumbs as he laughed and hugged you, rocking you side to side.

“Did you guys sleep together?” Jeongin smirked slyly as you hit his shoulder in embarrassment, the poor boy yelping at the impact.

“No, we didn’t. I took care of her because all her FRIENDS,” Hyunjin appeared from behind him, pausing to give Jeongin a glare before continuing, “Left her all alone while she was drunk. I may hate Y/N but I’m not a monster. Do you know how dangerous it is to leave a drunk girl alone at a party?? I took her out to get some fresh air and took her here. I would never sleep with a girl if she’s not fully sober and if she doesn’t have the full capability to fully consent to it.” Hyunjin scolded Jeongin as he hugged you tighter, causing you to lose your breath.

“Can’t… breathe…”

“I’M SO SORRYYYY. I thought Seungmin was gonna stay with you!!!” Jeongin cried and hid his face in your neck as you looked at Hyunjin while giggling. “Look what you did!”

“He needs to know! That’s stupid and not everybody is as kind and wonderful as me.” Hyunjin praised himself with a smug look as you rolled his eyes. Jeongin pulled away before patting your head.

“Okay… I’m gonna leave so you two could be alone.” Jeongin winked and left the two of you laughing together.

“He’s so unserious.” You giggled more as Hyunjin laughed, nodding in agreement before passing you your food with a lap desk so you could eat properly.

“Now get back in bed so you can eat, and take a shower. You reek of alcohol, you’re lucky I let you sleep in my bed.” Hyunjin scoffed, going back to his “hateful” facade.

“Where did you sleep?” You questioned while bringing a spoonful of rice to your mouth and chewing.

“Beside you. Same bed. You were cuddled up next to me.”

You nearly spat out your food as Hyunjin fell to the floor laughing. Still just as dramatic as he was in high school.

“I’m kidding!! You should’ve seen the look on your face! I slept on the chair right there.” Hyunjin pointed at the chair that was pushed into the desk as you gave him a concerned look.

“What the fuck? That’s so uncomfortable, I wouldn’t mind sleeping in the same bed as you. I’d prefer that than stealing your bed from you.” You sigh, feeling bad that he most likely had the worst sleep of his life on that chair, not noticing the faint blush that decorated his cheeks as he clears his throat.

“Yeah well, I just didn’t want to make you uncomfortable.” He mumbled before sitting down at the end of the bed. “Now hurry up so I can drop you off back at your dorm.. your friend must be worried that you’re not home yet, it’s already 3pm.”

You nodded at shared a smile with the boy in front of you.

Maybe being together isn’t so bad after all.

a/n: i finished this quicker than i thought i would lol! i hope you guys liked the fluff! don’t get too comfortable tho

𝜗𝜚 WTK series masterlist

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if your blog is underlined, it means i wasn’t able to tag you :’(

[furiousgoldfish]

When you grow up with only abusers around you, it can be hard to find an environment in which you can learn morals, basic values and integrity that most children have access to, if they're surrounded with healthy, just, moral adults. Even as children, we often understand viscerally that we don't want to be like our parents, even if we think they love us or whatever, we firmly see that something is wrong, this person is doing damage, we don't want to turn out like this.

Our experiences in school (if we attend it) can give us a little insight into how a person is expected to behave in an everyday setting, but it is still an environment of constantly being controlled, having to do as we're told, only getting to socialize in little breaks and often struggling to socialize because you have not been offered a proper socialization. At young age you can only mimic what you saw in others, and for you this can mean extreme behaviour, erratic behaviour, isolation, complete apathy, switching from one extreme to the other. It can make you blacklisted in your group of peers, because nobody can understand you or predict your behaviour; you can get called a freak. Your new environment can label you problematic and make you feel like you don't belong there, either. And you don't even know what you've done wrong.

In times like this, we often turn to media to learn what's normal, what ethics we should follow, what values we should integrate in our lives, and this is something that can't cut us out, or call us 'not good enough'. It's a little refuge where we get the chance to learn without being punished for screwing up, or even anyone knowing you screwed up, because you're learning by observing characters who don't observe you.

I remember as a child vividly feeling enlightened, and almost consumed by media that promoted messages of friendship, found family, people sticking together, caring about each other, saving each other. Not only it felt incredibly real, but the morals and messages they promoted, got engraved deep into my heart. I wanted nothing else but to live a life like that, if only I found the right people, or found myself in the right situation. It felt profound, important, life-saving.

When people you're surrounded with are manipulative, self-serving, guilt and shame inflicting and utterly cruel individuals, the depth and emotion you get from media feels powerful. The fact that you can feel and yearn for something that is more pure than you have in your surroundings, that you can reach for higher and deeper and more honest human experience, it can set you apart from the abusers you're surrounded with. It can feel more real than reality, more right and true than what you have in your life.

And the thing is, morals and positive messages from children's media, or even other types of media, aren't made to be adapted by people in real life. They're made for this other, fantastical reality and they don't exactly work in the real world. But for us, they're a step that we take in order to wrench ourselves free from the horrifying and bleak picture we have in our everyday reality - nobody caring about anyone, people exploiting every little bit of free will, being told that your life doesn't matter - we need something fantastical and powerful to combat that shit. We need to believe there's something better out there, and we need a chance to learn how to conduct ourselves when the time is right, what values we should have, what behaviours we should learn.

It's not a perfect help, but it is often the only help we get. Sometimes we can end up a little wonky, with our priorities and dreams slightly unrealistic, because of the mix that we've been brought up in. But it isn't for no reason. We have to believe that there's a fantastic heaven for us somewhere, because we're currently in hell, and we need to know that surviving it is worth it. That there's a different reality waiting for us outside. Place where we belong to.

[snail-migraine]

Requested by: @elysiumrealms

Sure! I did think some fleshing out on how the rest of the family acts around them would be cool to write. Sorry this took so long btw, my inbox gets stuffed pretty quickly and it was finals week. Anyway thanks for the ask!

-

Anon-Yan 💌‧₊˚❀༉‧₊˚.

Platonic Yandere Malleus

Pt.3

For you, the time before your punishment was nothing but a blurry mess.

Genuinely you don't remember all your horrible habits and manipulative tactics, you just remember acting on your insticts and not really thinking before you acted.

The few things you do remember is the interactions you had with your other family members.

The most memorable were the ones with Grandpa Lilia, when you were younger he loved cuddling you upside-down. Even if his grip was iron-strong it still felt so warm that you didn't want to leave.

When you got older he would allow you to play with some of his video games, he was always so sweet and helpful. Making sure you never got too frustrated at one certain part before taking the controller from you and completing whatever challenge had you stumped.

Lilia just loves babying you in a way he never got to with either of his original children.

He never failed to make you feel like the spoiled little brat you were.

"Ooh! Don't cry Darling, there's no need for that. Here, do you need Grandpa to help you? Okay sweet-pea. Don't worry, grandpa's here for you"

Then there's uncle Silver, who whose probably the most boring person to hang out with out of everyone in the family.

Don't get me wrong, you enjoyed his company but nothing even vaguely interesting happened whenever you hung around him.

He always really apologetic about it though, even going as far to bring you a little toy everytime he was allowed alone time with you. Typically is just a teddy bear, so that at night when you fell asleep you would think of your uncle Silver.

"Sorry we weren't able to play today. Here, have this. It's so when you fall asleep at night, you'll always remember your uncle Silver."

Your uncle sebek on other hand, he was hard to forget.

He was always loud, his voice commanded battalions after all. So a voice like his would definitely need for job like that.

You and him never played together, in his own words "WAKA-SAMA'S CHILD DESERVES A MUCH BETTER PLAYMATE THAN A LOWRANKING OFFICER SUCH AS MYSELF!"

Or whatever that was supposed to mean. You never really understood his way of thinking. While he was screaming his head off about not being good enough for you, you had sit and listen to him whilst daydreaming of all the video games Grandpa Lilia would play with you later.

It was boring, and eventually as you grew older you learned to tune him out.

Though I guess that wasn't the greatest idea, because within a week of learning how tune out his voice he came to you sobbing on his hands and knees begging for forgiveness.

"PLEASE FORGIVE ME WAKA-SAMA'S CHILD! WHATEVER SLIGHT HAVE DONE TO YOU, I BEG FOR YOUR FORGIVENESS AND MERCY! JUST PLEASE STOP IGNORING ME MY LEIGE!"

But I guess that all leads you to where you are now. Stuck in a boring old rickety tower. Stuck studying and doing chores all day. At least Father allowed for your family to visit from time to time.

Their faces and voices make the endless cycle you've been going through day-to-day slightly more bareable. But to be perfectly honest, with every passing moment that you're stuck here; in this damned tower made to be your prison, you lose a small peice of your sanity.

A peice of your mind that can never be returned to it's owner.

Trully a cruel thing to do, especially to your own child. Isolating them from everyone and everything they've ever known to prove a point, when it wasn't even truly their own faults that caused such a mess? Foolish, and downright cruel if anyone asked you.

Ah, but what can you do?

You did do this to yourself after all, might as well own up to your mistakes and pay the price.