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Relationship Green flags/ Red flags

This list was a part of another post but I want to make a separated one for it, to serve as a reminder, for myself, and for anyone who needs it. I will update the list if I think of anything more to add.

Green flags

When the couple is also best friends with each other

When they're genuinely curious about each other

When two people walk side by side, not one in front and one behind

They protect each other in front of other people no matter how wrong the other person is (not counting abuse or other legal crimes), but still be able to see the wrong doings clearly.

When both partners put the other's well-being at the top of their priority list

When the first person comes to your mind when you want to share something good or bad is them

When there's a spark in the eyes when they look at the other person

Listen attentively when the other is talking

Ask how you feel

When both can feel comfortable being honest (able to voice their concerns, worries, fears, hidden dreams, aspirations etc.)

Encourage and support each other towards betterment

Celebrate each other's happiness

Keeping their words

Willingness in solving problems

When both are willing to compromise and work together/to face the ugly sides of the relationship or of the self and the other person/ to communicate/ to learn

When both are proactive in the relationship, taking turn to suggest fun things to do, where to go, what to eat etc

All kinds of virtues like honesty, patience, kindness, loyalty, respect, etc. (not just towards you only, but to others in general also)

Love children

Love animal

Consistency: putting in a consistent effort, not being wishy-washy

Fun & humour

Feeling safe in each other's presence

Respect for boundaries and consent

Emotional compatibility

The feeling of being at ease with each other & trust (you can have all the above but without these two feelings, it's kind of meaningless)

and many more.

Red flags

When one is talking and the other is looking elsewhere

When one is in front while the other is behind

Being judgmental and opinionated, about all kinds of topics

Criticising the other person's taste, hobbies, habits constantly. Especially in front of other people.

Calling names (not the cute endearments)

Cruelty & Violence of any kind (obviously)

Silent treatment (refusing to communicate)

Inconsistency

Being avoidant, ghosting (at this point it's not a red flag, it's an ending)

Empty promises. NATO (No Action - Talk Only)

Condescending

Tell you what you're feeling

Unwillingness to compromise/ to understand, unequal effort, one-sided conversations

Lack of care for the well-being of the other person

Lack of appreciation for the other person's achievements and success

When you're low on their priority list ("I will have time for you after I'm done with this or that, after I met with my friends and other important people in my life")

Feeling like you have to tip toe around the other person

Feeling like you have to do something to get the other's attention

Asking the other person for permission to do something like buying something, meeting someone, going somewhere (I'm not talking about getting consent to do something with each other or getting something related to the other person, it's about decisions that normally one can make independently for oneself)

Jealousy & possessiveness (the idea can seem attractive on paper but the reality is usually not)

Demanding to know every secret, every password, getting access to every personal space of the other person

Lack of respect for boundaries and consent

Passivity (waiting for the other to initiate, never initiate anything)

"Why are you doing this to me?", victim mindset, constant blaming

Dating someone while thinking that person is not attractive or up to one's level or vice versa, thinking that person is way above one's level (the idea of "level" is damaging, both ways of thinking can bring illusions, unrealistic expectations and power imbalance)

Lack a healthy sense of self

and many more.

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january 2025 ; 1 2 3 4 my pinterest

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This is how I depict myself. 🖼

Self-portrait

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Hi River! I've got a astro question on planets on a house cusp and I thought I'd ask you since you have a perspective that has made me consider things in a new light. Depending on a single minute, my venus is either in the 8th or 9th house. I've read a lot about these houses and I know they are quite different but I could never decide which one is my actual house and which one is the influencing house. I'm also not sure if I'm having a hard time discerning because I have a venus pluto trine as well. (My sun is in the 8H and my moon in sag but I'm not sure if those actually impacts this or not.) How would you differentiate and decide which house venus would belong in? What main points or deciding factor would you look at to help you decide? Thank you in advance :)

Hi, I assume that you're using the Placidus house system? Personally, I follow the number, for example, if your 9th house cusp is 9 degree 40 minute and your Venus is 9 degree 39 minute then I interpret it as a planet in the 8th house. The only time when I consider a planet's influence outside of its house is when it conjunct the cusp of an angle (AC, IC,DC, MC) from the previous house (eg Venus conjunct the MC from the 9th house, BUT, I still interpret Venus as a planet in the 9th house, not in the 10th house)

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Good morning, afternoon, or evening wherever you're at! 😊 Only if you're up for it, but would please share your impressions about somebody with Jupiter square Pluto in a natal chart? Hope you have a good day and night, River! 🌞🌛

Hello, Jupiter square Pluto is a pretty generational placement so if I give my impression of it, it would be a generalisation of a large group of people.

From the observation of people I know who have this placement (born late 80s, early 90s), they're are ambitious and hardworking. Their luck seems to come from their effort and talents, what I mean is their effort and talents are usually noticed by lots of people. Some can view them as wise, while others can view them as stubborn and domineering in their opinions and visions. A lot of them like to pursue higher educations and their fortune also comes from the pursuit of knowledge.

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bulantı ve çokluk

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Hello, River. I'm relatively new to astrology and I'd like to learn more about it. The thing is, I don't have my birth time with me. All I know is that I was born during nighttime and the birth was delayed. As such, I can't know for sure what my rising sign is and the overall vagueness of my birth chart bothers me. Is there any way to accurately guess what someone's rising sign is? I apologize if the question is too complicated.

Hello, the best way to guess to is understand the signs, houses and planets so that you can observe how each area of your life display what traits of which sign.

But there's a certain way that you can roughly calculate the rising sign, but it has a lot of variables. For example, being born around 5~7A.M would likely make you have a rising in the same sign as your Sun sign, and around 5~7 P.M, the opposite sign of your Sun sign. Each sign takes roughly two hours, starting from 11 P.M ~ 1 A.M will be the sign 10th from your Sun sign, for example your Sun sign is Aries then the sign would be Capricorn).

If you're born during night time, there's a high chance that your Rising can be in the sign 8th, 9th, 10th from your Sun sign, that narrows down to three candidates. But still, you won't be able to get to the exact degree, so the layout of planets in your chart can still vary.

I'm sure there are other ways to pin point the Rising sign that I haven't known of, so don't take my words as the only way. Keep observing yourself and your life, over time, the chart will be more visible to you.

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Hello River! Have you ever noticed patterns between the different mediums that people prefer expressing themselves creatively in terms of their/yours astro placements? 👀 I think everybody has the potential to enjoy creativity. It's just a matter of HOW they like to explore & express it. Tysm for reading this! 🤗

Hello, thank you for such an intriguing question. Here is a gross generalisation. I might make a more detailed post in the future.

Astrology and creative mediums

*Note: My knowledge about different types of creative mediums is limited so take these with a grain of salt. Let me know if there are any specific mediums that you want to know more about.

Creativity is usually linked with your Sun/Moon/Venus. But when you choose to express it, I think it has to do with Mercury. Mercury can tell us about the skills we harness, the channel we choose to communicate our creativity.

Other planets' influence on Mercury:

Painting: Moon, Venus, Jupiter and Neptune influence

Designing: Venus, Saturn, Neptune, Uranus influence

Photography and filming: Moon, Neptune and Uranus influence

Acting: Also Moon and Neptune influence

Music: Venus and Neptune influence

Writing: Moon, Jupiter, Neptune and Uranus influence

Dancing: Sun, Mars, Saturn, Pluto influence

Any crafts that require manipulation with the hands: A strong Mercury, Mercury in 5th house

Some observations:

Taurus and Libra, Venus ruled signs, usually excel at music and visual art. People with these signs in their charts usually have lovely voice and a distinguished sense of colour and harmony.

Gemini, Libra, and Sagittarius love to dance and are good at dancing.

Gemini placements also loves to write.

Cancer and Leo united for the love of photography.

People with a strong 5th house like to make/create things.

Fire signs like performative arts.

Virgo and 6th house like to make garments or anything that has practical uses.

People with Scorpio in their charts are low-key about their creative endeavours. They just do what they love without the need to talk about it to everyone.

Sagittarius and Pisces placements, strong Neptune and Uranus usually have a very unique style but still can appeal to the mass. These are placements that create inspiration.

Capricorn and Aquarius seems to have a liking for construction like knitting and crocheting, papercraft or writing music.

Pisces placements love to be transformed, to be in various different worlds, hence the love for acting and cosplay.

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The Thief and The Cobbler- Errol Le Cain

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How do they love you? How does their love feel like?

(Future spouse/partner/lover)

This is a general reading meant for multiple people. Take only what resonates and leave out the rest.

Your feedback is much appreciated. If you find the reading resonated with you, leave a comment, I’d love to know 🎐

About me | Masterpost Book a reading with me - KO-FI (→ personal reading)

CUBE 1

There's always something to look forward to when you're with them. Life never stands still for the two of you, no, it doesn't mean your life together will be hectic and full of fast movement. On the contrary, they will take things slow with you, but you're always sure of their attention and how they see a future for the two of you. They will be very protective of that future, almost stubbornly so. You will hear them talk often about plans, they will ask you how you want to go at things, what's your comfortable pace, what do you hope for the future, what do you expect of them, of the relationship, they will also frequently joke or talk seriously about the vision of a retirement life together with you. There's just this sureness about the future with them, also hope and excitement.

But they also like to reminisce about your memories together. They probably will like to take a lot of photo with you, just daily activities, small beauty around you, and then like to spend some nights, sitting comfortably on the couch with you, warm blanket wrapping around you two, flipping through the physical photo album or the one in their phone. They like to remind you of your many "first" memories together. How you first met, how you first confess, your first kiss, the first sunset watched together. Things like that. They will also like to tease you about it but also want to recreate that memory again someday.

They might have to travel a lot for their work, and overseas trips can be frequent. You will sometimes feel that your house lack a little warmth of their presence. But when they're with you, they will make it up to you when they're home, by staying home with you lazily, just the two of you relaxing together, enjoying simple moments. But they will surprise you now and then with romantic dates, travelling to some far away lands for some changes of scenery. You once said to them absentmindedly how you wish to do something, go somewhere? They will make that happen for you, unexpectedly, they like surprise gifts. These instances are when you can feel their playfulness the most visibly.

Other times, they will remain a practical and dependable person. They will make sure that you feel safe in the relationship. So they tend to hide a lot of their worries and doubts. If they're quiet or not communicative, it's likely that they're worrying about something. If you ask them what's wrong, they probably will brush it off and assure you that nothing is wrong. Just let them be for a while to collect their thoughts. They will come around and discuss it with you, with a clearer mind and trust.

CUBE 2

They will be a tease alright. You might sometimes be puzzled by their behaviour, are they just a bully, or are they being playful? This person has two sides to them, I think it's likely due to their upbringing or their environment that requires them to be accommodating and mild manner. Strangers, acquaintances, or even those who work closely with them will find them very charming, patient, and hard working. But when it comes to the person they love romantically, it's like something switched up inside them. They can act a little childish,snarky, and passionate around you, poking you here and there just to get a reaction. They love playing pranks on their lover. But not to the point of angering you or in a mean spirit way. For all their jokes and pranks, they do fulfil your desire for a perfect partner and also a friend. I think the way they act playfully like that is to match your energy. Whatever they do, they do it in consideration of you, so they never take the teasing too far, just enough to rile you up a little.

They like to ask your opinions on everything, purposefully create a debate with you, even when you share a similar viewpoint. They want to include you in every decision that they make, always a team, especially when the future of the relationship is concerned. If you have any dilemmas, they will always be there to help solve them with you.

You guys might be the couple that giggle with each other in public, sharing inside jokes and exchanging looks across the crowd. They would love to lean in and whisper to your ear. Their display of affection in public can be restrained and moderate, nothing offensive to the eyes of lonely hearts around you guys. But in general, they prefer to stay at home with you rather than go to a public place. Almost like being secluded with you, muting out all the noises outside. It's because they work a lot, they can be too absorbed in their work and spend many hours working. So when they can get off working, they want to relax with you. Your home together will be like a sanctuary to them.

They can act like a fixer sometimes, always eager to solve your problems for you. If you have some bad habits, they will push you to get rid of them, sometimes it can feel heavy-handed. But usually, the way they do it is sincere and charming enough for you to listen to them without resistance. One of their habits that you might be a little worried about is their spending habit, they have a loose attitude towards money, spending on whims. If they see something they fancy, they will not just buy it for themselves but for you too, they love matchy-matchy. Luckily, they don't act like that towards just everyone, only to the person closest to them.

CUBE 3

Your domestic life with this person will be so peaceful and fun. They just give a very stable and dependable energy without being rigid or overbearing. You will feel spoiled by them a lot. They will put you on top priority, trying to make life easier for you in every aspect. From small daily chore to important decisions like moving home or changing jobs, they want to be there for you and support you in everything. This person likes to share the workload with you, there's just no definite role in your relationship where one person is the bread winner while the other is the one who takes care of the house. Your relationship will be balanced, if one person is working, the other will do the housework, and vice versa. But they're especially proactive in making the mundane details comfortable for you, I think they're someone who enjoys doing chores around the house and taking care of their person. They like to iron your clothes for you, preparing meals, cleaning the house while you lay there relaxing.

But in that scenario where they're cleaning the house and you're relaxing, they'd like that moment to be when you guys can have some fun banter together. There's maybe a sense of duty when they're doing the work, but it's actually because they enjoy these small peaceful moments with you. They like to joke and tease you a lot. Talking with them will feel so easy and free flowing, you guys will never run out the things to talk about. Reminds me of birds chirping together on a branch in springtime. But they can also dive deep with more serious topics. The things they say are never superficial and shallow. What they say is what they do and what they think deeply about. They probably won't say something if they're not sure of it. You will feel like their words are the most dependable pillars. They're also very strategic, taking care steps in whatever plan they're executing, appraising the progress, and making adjustments when necessary. So life with them will feel like a sturdy ship that can weather any storms and still sail to the bright horizon ahead.

They have a strange blend of tenderness and passion. You won't have to doubt their desire for you, they'll be just very straightforward with you. But they're creative and flexible in their display of affection and they know various techniques to melt your heart. One moment they may act like an excited child asking their playmate to hang out with them. Other times, they act all assertive and self-assured that you feel like there's no one sexier. Another time, they will be silent and attentive, listen to your every dark thoughts that are clouding your mind. You will believe that as long as you're with them, nothing can hurt you, that you can relax and just be cosy in their arms, even when the world is cold and dangerous outside.

CUBE 4

This person could have some deep wounds that they hold in their heart for a long time. These wounds made them become cautious and value their independence a lot. They're not willing to sacrifice their personal values and autonomy for just anyone. So you might have a hard time getting closer to them in the beginning. The frustrating thing is, they're very charming as a person, they can say all the right words that can melt your heart in no time, they're a great conversationalist and a visionary, but only as an individual, in relationship, the more messy and problematic side will rear its head and make itself known. There's a very strong mental energy here. If you're the kind of person who values mental connection above all else and tends to lean on the logical side of thinking, you might not see much problem with them, for they can be a satisfying mental opponent for you. But if you're more sensitive and seek an emotional connection, both of you will have to compromise a lot to make it work.

You could feel that sometimes, their approach to the relationship with you and life in general can be aggressive or pushy. They like to take control of the situation and take charge of everything, including the small details of your life together. They want to do everything on their own, not exactly because they don't want you to lift a finger, but more because of the desire to take everything into their own hands, for efficiency. You will never have to doubt if they pay enough attention to you or not, sometimes, you might even wish that they don't give you so much attention, because it can feel a little antagonistic at times.

Communication is very important in your relationship. With your honest and straightforward feedback, they will slowly curb their impulsive tendency and be more gentle with you. The relationship with you will change their mindset a lot. They could be more high-strung and anxious in the past, but they will learn to relax more and be more appreciative of peace in the relationship. When they're relaxed and trust you more, they can be touchingly tender and romantic with their words. They probably like to go on many trips together with you, exploring the world around. You will feel that other people won't be able to understand the dynamic of your relationship and the unique experiences you share together. So you won't feel the need to compare your relationship with other people's, sure there are problems, but you wouldn't trade it for any other kinds. There's a strong element of getting out of the storm together, seeing each other's dark side and helping each other see the light.

They have a hidden passionate and wild side that's sleeping underneath layers of caution and anxiety. Their display of physical affection can be subdued and not too spontaneous, especially in the presence of other people. But they tend to talk or boast about you a lot in your absence. They will feel like loving you is their biggest victory, victory over their own limitations and fears. And they like to express that sense of pride with people, especially their friends.

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you have such a beautiful aesthetic! this blog and your other blog just have a beautiful visual language. thats all (:

Thank you 🫶💘🎐

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pages n stuff pngs ! credit not necessary for pngs ! like or reblog to use <3

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Hey there, iam an aspiring Tarot reader, I really love your reading. But I don't know how to manage or give my energy for free readings. Energy exchange, as I have heard from various readers should be in the form of money or an exchange read otherwise their energy will be taken from them by various means. So I really wanted to know, how to balance the energy of the reader or shaman and client. And how to price readings. Do you price your reads based on your qualifications or based on the energy

Hello, hope you are doing well. 🌼

Managing energy in divination readings

The goal: You should know the reason why you want to do free readings before you start. Is it for practice? is it for gaining traction? is it just a whim? or is it for some higher purposes that you have in mind? Based on that, you should adjust your expectations accordingly.

Etiquette: It's not just about the energy, but it's a basic etiquette to give back some form of appreciation when someone has done something for you. So if you keep giving out free readings without getting anything back, even just a simple "thank you", then it can feel like pouring into the void, sooner or later, the source will be drained.

How do you feel: You should listen closely to your intuitive feelings and monitor how your mind and body feels, the thoughts that instantly springs up in your mind when you are about to do a reading. When you feel a resistance, a discomfort when you're about to do a reading and after you'd done, that's when you need to stop or make adjustments.

Schedule: A 30 minutes of divination can feel more draining than 3 hours of physical labour. You should understand your level of spiritual/physical/mental/emotional stamina and avoid over-exerting yourself. Establish a schedule for readings. Divination is where you can't be greedy to take on more work, the quality will suffer right away. Give yourself time to rest and replenish your energy again, just like after a hard day of work.

Pricing a reading

What you deem an appropriate exchange is your choice, it needn't be money or anything material. For example, when I open some free reading mini games, I would ask for a story, a imaginary 'gift', the idea of a querent giving something back to me is enough.

But if I do anything longer, more detailed that requires more time and energy then I would need to ask for a more substantial price, like in the form of money. I try to keep it fair, accessible price but still enough to not feel like I'm doing unpaid work. Because a reading is serious work.

To answer your question about how I price my readings, I will fully transparent here and say that I choose the price based on the average price for a cup of coffee. You ask me a question, you buy me a cup of coffee. Simple.

One thing to always remember, be reasonable. Imagine yourself as a querent, how much would you be willing to pay to get a reading?

I hope that help somehow. This is my personal experience, you can use it for reference but don't feel obligated to do the same.

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Hey River I love your blog! Your posts are so well-crafted and always resonate. You’re honestly such a magical being. ✨🦄 Do you ever doubt your to read lithomancy correctly and does it just flow for you? Feels like your see the world in such a unique way. I love your creativity !

Hey, thank you for swinging by and saying such lovely words. I'm glad that I've been able to find so many magical beings around here too. 🥰

If you ask me if I have ever doubted my ability to read lithomancy, of course I have, just like with every other things that I do, I'm never 100% confident and I can't say that I'm gifted, but I just do it because I believe that ultimately, there will be some people who can resonate with my messages, and that's enough. So far, thanks to lovely messages like yours, I know that there's something I'm doing right. 😁

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Hello River!🪻It's me, the 🔥 & 🧊 anon! Just wanna give you positive feedback about my placements and being drawn to romantic challenges! 😁 It's as if you peeked into my chart! 🫣🤯 For me, I definitely have a few but strong Mars/Pluto aspects, LOTS of Neptune aspects, a strong Saturn influence (it's among my Top 3!), and LOTS of Cardinal signs placements! 😁 Tysm for answering my question, and I hope you have experience an abundance of love in your life, both inner & outer! ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝���

Hello 🔥&🧊, astrology sure can make us realise we are a lot similar to other people than we think,no? 😉 Hope you've met or will meet a challenge worthy of your energy, thank you so much for the message.

( ﾟ∀ﾟ)人(ﾟ∀ﾟ )

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Hi, River. I love your reading your blog a lot. Especially about your astrology posts because i'm learning too. I wanted to ask if you know anything about aspects in synastry that may indicate limerence?

Thank you in advance <3

Hello, thank you for your message. But I don't have an enough understanding of the term "limerence" to answer your question, can you elaborate more to me? I take it that it's some kind of intense obsession and longing? I've answered an ask about what to look for when it comes to hardcore obsession, you might want to take a look, here.

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Hi River! I hope you are doing well and I just want to say I love your blog. You radiate such kind and positive energy. If you get the chance, I would love to hear your thoughts regarding Sun Conjunct Pluto in the natal chart.

Hello, thank you for your message.❤️

Sun conjunct Pluto

Growth: You feel like you're not the same person as time passed, your inner compass stays the same but everything gets a makeover once in a while. You constantly seek growth, like a tree that hungers for life. You don't do well with stagnation, you actively conquer it, bring changes into your life. You don't want to stay in the same place, to be a prisoner of comfort, you would rather go out there, facing unknown dangers than letting your light get dimmer by every minute of stagnation.

Transformation: Your external world reflects the changes in your inner world. Your life is a series of periodical changes, like dynasties throughout history. You can clearly see how your life is made up of various "stages", each is as transformative as the next one.

Energy: You hold a vast wealth of energy inside you. A nuclear reactor. Imagine the sun intensified. This can make your restless and frustrated if there's no outlet for it. This energy propels you to do immense feats, whether to search for the deep end of dark taboo subjects, or to courageously standing up for people, or to pursue a cause.

Power: Having that much energy can radiate out as power. People sense authority in you, they're subconsciously in awe yet fearful of it. They want to have it, they want to submit to it. You hold unspoken power over your surroundings. Everybody reacts in a certain to your energy, some can be positive, some can be positive, the reactions are polar opposites.

Control: A volcano seething beneath a calm lake. Nothing escape your grasp. You know life's capricious nature so well, you're always prepared for imminent disasters, by exerting control over everything, everyone in your life. Control gives you comfort, a sense of safety.

Heaviness: Lightheartedness is not your forte. Everything sinks deeply into the ocean of your heart. You take everything seriously, always look for hidden messages, what's behind, what's real. This can take a toll on your psyche, sometimes you feel like you can't enjoy life in a carefree manner like many people do.

Intuition: You're bestowed with uncanny intuition, your survival instinct is more acute than many. Nothing goes undetected by your radar. Never ignore your hunches, they're your best compass, for you operate better in an instinctive manner than a logical manner. Psychic power develops naturally.

Secretive: You might be able to unearth secrets out of people as easy as breathing, but you don't let people do the same to you. You keep your cards close to your chest. For people like you, it's better to not announce your intentions openly, you don't need any outside interference.