#abandonment wound

[fractal-unfoldment]

Unresolved abandonment is the root of self-sabotage.

Susan Anderson, The Journey From Abandonment to Healing

[unwelcome-ozian]

[the-healing-mindset]

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Kasturi M ~ Indian Relationship Therapist & Coach (@heymisstherapist)

[kaleb-is-definitely-sane]

[safe-haven-safe-place]

[seeyatellite]

I release myself from the burden of expectations and hobbies shoved down my throat from birth.

I release myself from feeling the need to make people happy at the expense of my identity.

I release myself from the grief and profound sadness of a father wanting me to be a “car person” or a “boat person” so badly that he cannot hear my protest.

I can say no. I will say no.

I release myself from the grief of saving my father’s life as he fell into a coma and not being there for my mother when she died.

I can turn down any requests to work on a car without shame. It’s okay to turn down involvement with my father’s recently purchased 1950’s scrapyard-looking pickup truck and there’s no shame in it. I refuse to burden myself with the same shame and self-loathing anxiety I felt every time I told that man I don’t want to be involved with a boat day or a car project and he used words of disappointment and guilt tripping that cut like knives.

There is no need to be a mechanically inclined person just to make one man happy. His words, beliefs and expectations are his own and do not need to reflect on me in any way.

There was plenty of other essential knowledge that man neglected to teach. I don’t need to get hung up on his responses to me refusing to celebrate his way or share in his definition of fun.

[standing-on-rupes-altai]

i’m so incredibly tired of human relationships being transactional, and of me trying to constantly figure out what it is that people want from me so that they don’t leave me.

it is always the same. an intense connection, hours talking, opening up, getting closer; the other person wants more (which in almost each and every case means: something physical) and i open up and say i cannot give them that, after which they close off and suddenly are no longer interested in nurturing the connection. their care for me is always conditional.

so i always have to walk this thin line between wanting for them to stay, wanting for this connection to be genuine, wanting to actually for once in my fucking miserable existence have a meaningful human connection, and knowing that if i don’t give them what they want, then our connection will mean nothing.

i’m just honestly so drained, so so tired of this. sometimes i wish i was still a child and sex was not expected of me. i wish i was a child who could make friends and deeply connect and share things and spend time and wonder and ponder about the universe and watch tv shows and laugh and joke and just have that true connection with someone. no transactions. no conditions. 

i’m really starting to believe this doesn’t exist at all, and i’m the only fool that will open up, let you in, share with you, want to spend time with you, while expecting nothing in return.

i’m tired of being abandoned because i’m not useful enough.

[charliebraincharliebrain]

I do not wish I was different. I am doing the best I can. I am excited to continue to grow and evolve into the best version of myself, but I do not wish I was a fundamentally different person because then I wouldn’t be me.

Someone in the meeting today said our identity is constructed by our experiences and our environment; my identity is, for better or for worse, constructed around my abandonment wound. This means I love and feel things very deeply, which makes loss and grief feel especially difficult and makes the happy feelings all the more joyful and all consuming.

I am glad to be who I am. I’m not going to change that for anyone. I am going to get better at processing it and communicating, but I am not going to change who I am or apologise for it. I will apologise for causing harm, but I am not going to apologise for who I am.

[pureanimosity]

Wholesome!Nagisa headcanons :D

• nagisa has a notebook and books collection

• nagisa learned how to knit from hara and mostly knits crochets and sweaters

• nagisa has a sock collection and mostly consists of animals, flowers, and knitted socks that were made by hara and kurahashi

• the girls have nagisa come shopping with them and sometimes have a mini fashion show

• when nagisas frustrated he taps his pencil into the desk to make a rhythm

• nagisa sneezes ADORABLE think of fluttershy and the girls are jealous of him for it (jokingly)

• nagisa has a mini bookshelf

• when nagisa was still in the main campus he had a hard time deciding his sexuality

• nagisa can sing but was too shy to do it in public so he only hums songs, that is until maehara made nagisa do karaoke with him

• nagisa is the class angel and cinnamon roll along with isogai

• nagisa is touch-starved because he never got real affection only the manipulative type

• nagisa loves hugs

• sugino made the nagisa protection squad

• the girls are jealous because of how soft silky nagisas hair is (jokingly)

• everyone gotta had a crush on nagisa

• nagisa has hoodie, sweater and vests collection

• nagisa wears leg warmers and arm warmers if it's winter (him and kayano match together sometimes)

• nagisa has monophobia and abandonment issues

• nagisa stutters when nervous

• nagisa is banned from card and reading games when it's 3-E game night

• since nagisas bloodlust is so unhealthy after using some bloodlust nagisa coughs and if nagisa used a ton of bloodlust he passes out

• nagisa is demisexual

• nagisa admires almost half of the class because of there confidence, talent and skills

• nagisa has a book that contains everyone in 3-E's personal information name, height, birth date, weaknesses, strength, personality you name it!

• nagisa has a diary and mostly vents

• nagisa could enjoy cross dressing if it weren't for his mother

some of these are inspired!

[fractal-unfoldment]

If rejection, desertion, or betrayal played a part in your loss, it is not just your sense of security that has been shattered but your belief in yourself, your sense of self-worth.

Susan Anderson, The Journey from Abandonment to Healing

[unwelcome-ozian]

[the-healing-mindset]

Source: Dr. Glenn Doyle

[patience-hope-strength-courage]

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A post shared by Dr Lalitaa Suglani (@dr.lalitaa)

Shared From Instagram, Not My Own Post.

[insomniadude]

it’s hard to not give in to the collapse of my abandoned foundation when those who have once felt at home in my arms have all found a new address

[violet-phoenix-nebula]

This one goes out to the woman I used to call mom, who's now nothing more than my dad's ex wife. The woman who told me she loved me like her own children... If that's true, then I really bad for them. Cause when I needed her the most, all she had to say was "stop calling"... 💔❤️‍🩹

[marbearwrites]

Dear Sis...

I wished you had stayed around town

You didn't have to travel so far to get away

Now all I see is a stranger's face...

Time does not heal all wounds

It dulls them

But there can still be an ache...