#feelings of abandonment
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#abandonment wound#abandonment#feelings of abandonment#life#living#emotions#feelings#controlling#micromanagement#trust#betrayal#insecurity#people-pleasing#vulnerability#attachment issues#reassurance#validation
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You know what?
I love you, fics that take months to update. I click on the newest chapter and have no memory of this place and get to go back some chapters and rediscover how much i love everything about this story.
I love you, fics that take years to update. I think of you fondly, and know your names, go search for you and see an update from this year and scream, diving in uncaring of any missed details (i will finish the update and read you in reverse because this is a treat you have bestowed)
I love you, fics that probably will never update again. Thank you for being a roman empire for my mind, thank you for teaching me about the ephemeral fandom experience, for inspiring a thousand million what if-s, for being a comfort read and a nostalgia read and a reread.
I love you fic writers, who jump into projects and stories with enthusiasm. I love you when you succeed in pumping out those chapters and that love doesn't go away when you stop.
I love you fic writers who post and then get in your own head and never feel confident enough to update, whether it's at all or whether it's just that one story.
I love you fic writers, who have a fandom or media hurt you to the point of abandoning or having a hard time with their WIPs.
I love you fic writers, who lose interest or have life changes or illness or bad memory. Thank you for being part of the fandom, a core part of the fandom. Thank you for the time spent in the fandom.
I love you, fic writers who try out something new and then stop. You're so valid.
I love you, WIP fics that may or may not ever get finished. Thank you for brightening my day in the way only you could have.
#fandom#fanfics#fanfiction#fanfic writers#wips#abandoned stories#a lot of people feel so much shame for this#but that's not for this post#we are celebrating the lifeblood of the fandom here#the pages and pages of fic#celebrating the passion projects of writers who do this for free#and if I see anyone in the tags saying “well actually” or “with the exception of” bullshit#vacation or not#i'm gonna not be happy
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Obsessed with characters who portray themselves as worse than they are. Who are lying to everyone including themselves about it. People generally assume if someone's lying about themselves they're trying to look better but sometimes they're trying to look worse. They attribute agency to where they had none, add intent to accidents, try to convince everyone that this is something they did instead of something that happened to them.
#this is about tenko bnha#but it is also about dahlia ace attorney#watch the nezumiVA videos on ace attorney trilogy they're great#anyway dahlia saying she (at like. 6 years old) apparently convinced her father to abandon her sister. hmmm#also everyone including herself thinking of her as the manipulator in control with terry when she was 14 dating a 20 y/o#anyway these characters both did do terrible things but feel the need to pile on more and remove nuance from where it exists#to convince themselves that this is what they really want. that they chose this.#it's about the loss of control it's about being a victim feeling worse than being a villain#at least if you were the bad guy you had autonomy#shimura tenko#shigaraki tomura#dahlia hawthorne
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have humans developed a language that can accurately describe the intensity of this grief?
#this is beyond words#i cant imagine who alone this person feels right now#and how alone all palestinians must feel#completely abandoned and forgotten by the world as your body is ripped to shreds in broad daylight#by 65k tonnes of bombs#this feels like the end of the world to me. i cant imagine anything beyond this#free palestine#palestine#gaza#glory to the martyrs#from the river to the sea palestine will be free#long live palestine#long live the resistance#death to israel
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I’ve already said it, I’ll say it again, Mal du Pays is such a visceral and clever word to describe Siffrin’s Sadness. When I first saw it in game it genuinely made me pause like. Yes, it translates to homesickness. But it has the literal word for country in it. “Country sickness”. For a guy whose core problem is that his childhood, his culture, his country is missing. One could argue it’s a twisted pun. I’m obsessed with it.
#isat#in stars and time#isat spoilers#isat siffrin#isat mal du pays#isat fanart#my art#in stars and time spoilers#isat headcanon#not done yapping: like you meet mdp at a point where the Big Problem is the loops and siffrin's fear of being abandonned by the party#and then Mal du Pays shows up and it hits you#thats the core of every fucking issue Siffrin has#his country and how it fucked everything for him#his bad memory making him forget too much and making him feel like a horrible friend and making him think that surely#hell also be forgotten#because hes a bad friend and a mess and is missing half of his fucking life#he holds onto the party with everything he has but also feels an infinite amount of shame about it because Hes A Bad Friend#hea so scared to forget whats important to him just like he forgot his past#just#ough
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#two fellas chilling in an abandoned building <3#ticci toby#hoodie#marble hornets#creepypasta#abandoned building#punk#axes#clawmarks#i feel like they are too stylized and the background too realistic........#but i don't feel like fixing it lol
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can't believe im saying this but long time no megumi
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jk#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#fushiguro megumi#megumi fushiguro#jjk megumi#jjk art#am i getting my speed back or am i just procrastinating what im Actually supposed to me doing the answer may surprise u#regardless i realized i havent drawn megu properly since waaaaay pre-halloween and i was feeling the withdrawals#i wanted to get a handle on this newish render style with yuuji first bc i think the lighter hair forces me to know what im doing#vs with black u can hide things a lot better so its easy to play it safe and revert 2 usual habits#so im rly happy i did yuuji first bc these bruise-y colours on megumi's hair look SO good i cld cry#im rly enjoying this thing where i put whatever colour down wherever without worrying abt being too precious with it#the bright neon salmons the dusty purples the olive greens these r all colours i would not normally turn to#esp fr skin#but its so FUN it makes the lighting so fun and saturated and interesting to look at#overall this ws nowhere near as meticulous or 'clean' as the yuuji draws but i didnt needit to b so its ok#this ws just an afternoon#n i just needed to draw megumi :'> i abandoned my boy..........#yall im having fun drawing again pro tip if u feel stuck Do New Things#yet another lesson you think i wld have Retained after 21 years of drawing
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There is no place where I belong. I don't fit in anywhere.
#actually bpd#borderline culture is#borderline personality disorder#bpd#bpd problems#bpd thoughts#bpd vent#actually borderline#borderline blog#actually obsessive#tw depressing thoughts#depressing shit#tw depressing stuff#depressiv#lonelier version of you#loner#lonelly#loneliest#there is absolutely nothing lonelier#alone with my thoughts#feeling alone#abandoned#im so alone#im so lonely
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there is something unique and deeply special about monkey d luffy as a protagonist. he’s overwhelmingly ADORED by the fandom. he’s consistently the most or at least top 3 most popular characters in the whole series. peoples takes about him are gushingly positive. and that’s… really uncommon.
a LOT of fandoms i’ve witnessed or been in have a tendency to favor characters other than the main character. especially in anime. the main characters are often written as a blank slate for readers/watchers to project onto, but that makes them not as interesting and so they don’t get the fan attention.
but luffy is so far from that. and he’s ALWAYS been this way. we love him so much. he’s the heart of the story and the heart of the fandom in every single way. and i think that speaks to how well-written he is as a character. he’s fun and charming and complex and interesting and he makes us laugh and cry and cheer and hope and love. he’s able to inspire so much joy in people, both in his world but also in this one. and i think that’s really special. i feel so grateful to have found this story that means so much to me, and i’m so grateful that luffy exists.
#i’m in a very emotional mood tonight and i was just. musing#about how wonderful our best boy is#and how much true and genuine joy and hope and wisdom he has given me#i feel like i’ve learned so much from him about how to love people#and that’s. freely. enthusiastically. easily and without abandon.#love you monkey d. luffy. you saved my life#one piece#monkey d luffy#one piece meta#personal
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You’re a Useless Child
#one piece#op fanart#cyborg franky#nico robin#frobin#my eyes feel a little wet whenever I think about how franky was abandoned as a child
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i have a headcanon that Yoichi trims AFO's hair because i can't help but compare AFO's nicely trimmed hair to Yoichi's and i thought someone had to have cut AFO's hair for him and it is only logical for me to assume it was Yoichi who did. I think AFO would only trust Yoichi to be so close to him with a sharp object like a pair of scissors lol
I think Yoichi would have also liked cutting his brother's hair at first, because it would make him feel helpful in a way? And I just think even when AFO put him in the vault, AFO would still go there to get his hair trimmed by Yoichi.
and once Yoichi joins the resistance, he offers to do this for Kudo as well.
#make no mistake yoichi didn't reply out of fear#i personally think that he was never afraid of his brother. he just reacted out of… sympathy?#bc he doesn't want his brother to feel like he's abandoned him? betrayed him in a way? smthn like that#and AFO is partly aware of this and uses this to manipulate yoichi to make him do what he wants#in this case: to look at him lol#yoichi doesn't meet his eyes kind of like a silent treatment?#but even this seemingly insignificant protest was easily parried by AFO's underhandedness and it just makes yoichi feel defeated#kind of makes me realize why yoichi has a 'strong sense of justice' or is firmly committed to his set of morals and principles#because frankly i think that's all he feels he has control of#bnha#mha#boku no hero academia#AFO#yoichi shigaraki#all for one#ofa users#kudoichi#kudoichi feels slipped in but i need it for my tagging lmao#my art#fanart#i am pressing a kiss on this post in hopes that it reaches its target audience lol#i've also seen a few replies to my previous work i see you and i love you and i Will get back to you
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losing the same person over and over again really fucks with your mental health.
#bpd#bpd vent#bpd stuff#vent#bpd shit#actually bpd#bpd abandonment#bpd thoughts#bpd blog#bpd intense#abandoned#abandonment#abandonment issues#borderline pd#borderline personality disorder#actually borderline#borderline blog#borderline thoughts#borderline problems#living with borderline#bpd rage#bpd split#bpd feels#bpd problems#bpd things#bpd splitting#bpd awareness#cluster b#actually cluster b
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Dress This Lich, Tumblr
You're dawdling, minions! My wardrobe can't open itself-- I already tried to make it do that; that's how we got the mimic closet.
(I want to draw a lich and I am leaving in tumblr's rational hands the proportions of their costume. I cannot wait to see the results.)
#ffff anyone coming to this late: i abandoned the project after tumblr's trans harassment bungle#it soured me#the lich was all tumblr themed#i keep wanting to restart#ughghh i should i feel bad
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When I say I really want a Jason adopts tim fic, I don't mean I want him to become a parent at 19 to a teen like 2-4 years younger than him, I want Jason to meet Tim and decide that he wants Tim on his side.
I want Jason to adopt Tim as his Robin, like he decides that he wants to recruit this 15 year old that is some how the smartest and snarkiest person in Gotham. I don't want infantilised tim, I want a sorta Nani and Lilo sibling dynamic, but with a smaller age gap.
Like sure, Jason sees his little brother as some sort of soggy kitten that he must protect, but also a Tim that is very capable of looking after himself.
I want Tim to look at Jason, see Bruce back when he first donned the Cape and traffic light colours. And then in true Tim fashion decide to fix him, B was being too over protective since Red Hood showed up anyways.
Like imagine, Jason meeting Tim instead by accident when he drops in on a drug trade. Tim says some quip that throws him off his game while fighting. Jason basically losing to a very deadly fifteen year old who's not slept in 29 hours, and he thinks 'f it, I like the kid'. Then trying to recruit him consistently until Tim goes 'why tf not'.
I want enemies to caretaker, but they both think they're the caretaker
#could also add an appearance of JJ#for angst#cuz we love angst#basically#i want to utilise Tims unconfortable feels around people putting him first#and Jason's inability to see Bruce as a person who can learn from his mistakes and be a semi decent parent#and then let it somehow force a brothers buddy comedy#also#lets face it#tim isnt like totally with the no killing rule he just lives by it so he can monitor batman#also defo tim having to sit down jason and ask him to trust that tim wont just suddenly break#basically we need tim to work through his issues of deciding to be a emotional support child#and jason needs to work through his abandonment issues#obviously this idea needs work#but like#its funny#batman#bruce wayne#jason todd#red hood#dick grayson#nightwing#batfam#clark kent#tim drake#batman and robin#robin#red robin
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i need daniel to be overcompensating for his insecurities so bad. 100 times more cocky and rude and aggressive and insensitive than he was as a human, falling back into old dangerous habits and vices, not just because now he has new energy and power and wealth to flaunt but because it's ALL he has, and he needs to cling onto it. play it up and revel in it so no one sees that underneath, he feels like a botched fledgling in the body of a sick, faded old man who maybe has no real idea why he was even made. that armand might think he failed in making him. that his maker didn't even really want him.
#i think vampirism isnt inherently torturous to him in any sort of moral way#but more in an inner self worth/image way#louis felt he was failing because he rejected/didn't enjoy human blood and death#i can see daniel being fine with killing but being insecure about the way he turned out/the way he is now#and his complicated connection with armand and what it all means for him. why he cares what he thinks or feels when he doesnt want to#but he does. and he has all these questions he needs him to answer#this sort of thing would be a way to connect him to louis further and also lestat now#louis who felt like a “botched vampire” for a long time and lestat who was immediately abandoned by his maker#and how lestat coped with what had been done to him by trying to fully embrace what he'd been turned into#anyway the bottom line is i think he should suffer and struggle with vampirism just as much as everyone else has in his own way#but he still has to be a massive insufferable asshole about it. and maybe get smacked around a bit because of it#iwtv#daniel molloy
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you just ignored me for three hours the fuck you mean good morning?
#bpd#bpd stuff#bpd thoughts#bpd mood#bpd shit#bpd blog#bpd problems#bpd feels#bpd fp#fp bpd#bpd vent#actually bpd#bpd safe#borderline problems#borderline blog#borderline thoughts#actually borderline#hpd#suspected hpd#questioning hpd#hpd traits#hpd safe#cluster b#actually cluster b#cluster b safe#actually mentally ill#anxious attachment#attachment issues#abandonment issues#.txt file
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