#bpd partner

[tear-stained-lenses]

Every time I take a breath, it's like I did every wrong thing. Every time I close my eyes, I'm told I'm selfish for not paying attention. Every time I try to speak, I'm silenced. Everything is my fault, and everyone around me continues to prove it.

[trouble-de-la-belle-princesse]

"It's okay if you don't need me, I'll give you all the time and space you need." ← secretly planning a murder-suicide in their mind

[lettingtobygo]

Heal, grow, find what truly aligns

[bpd-aware]

Click the image to find out how you can support your BPD partner through their recovery.

[honeypleasejustkillme]

i thought i was at my lowest but holy shit it gets lower

[the-crooked-library]

the statements "lestat does many terrible inexcusable things" and "there is a Reason for everything lestat does, even the things that end up being senselessly cruel" absolutely can and should coexist

like. louis might be dealing with too many things himself to notice, but it's evident to an observer. yes, lestat laughs at him when he asks if he's "enough" - and it's cold, and cruel, and definitely the wrong thing to do in that emotionally fraught conversation; but it's not random. the reason lestat reacts this way, with laughter that is almost a shock, is because throughout the years they've already spent living together, louis has acted like lestat is not enough for him. he's tried to maintain a relationship with humans, fallen into depression realizing he will never have a family of his own, scoffed at the idea of lestat being his family - and because lestat can no longer read his mind and is himself rather ignorant, selfish, and insecure, he could not see it as anything else but a rejection. being lestat, he reacts accordingly - he tries to make louis jealous, tries to push him into staking a claim - and louis barely ever does!.. so he keeps pushing and making things worse and worse. it's cause and effect. a rube goldberg device of pettiness and heartbreak

a crucial element of the vampires' tragedy is that makers and fledglings are cut off from each other, and that's the Point

[aurae-rori]

Wanna ask if you have any headcannons for aventio modern au

( cause I am obsessed with modern aus)

hellyeah brother i'm here to serve the masses

hcs about ratio:

still a doctor still has 8 phds

knows about student debt and hates it with a burning passion

has a duck keychain that he puts on his keychain with all of his keys like the keys to his house

once crushed a soda can in his hands during his student years bcs he was that fucking mad about the homework questions not being stated in a clear manner (he just like me fr)

has several duck plushies in his bed and theyre all named after either greek philosophers or roman politicians

can speak latin fluently and mutters curse words and creative expressions in latin during the classes that he teaches because he is that pissed off

used to be a full time doctor, but decided to turn to teaching instead after some time

hyper-empathy due to childhood neglect (he just like me fr)

eyebags that he covers up with makeup, he still has those from his student years and cant fucking get them to leave no matter how many hours he sleeps for

enjoys occasionally a rum & coke

really likes lattes and london fogs

had a british accent once because he travelled to the uk and picked up on it, when he came back he was mortified

fucking loves ducks so much he has a camera roll dedicated to duck photos

he got to pet a duck once he was happy for the rest of the week thats how much he loves them

massive nerd & dork

undiagnosed autism with a side of gifted child trauma

really likes jazz and lofi it calms him down fast and makes him happy

wrings his hands when he's really happy

touch starved

makes really good soup

hopeless romantic

more mentally unstable than you think he is. he is actually suffering from burnout but doesnt want to let people around him down.

doing his best. sometimes on the weekends he just nestles into a cocoon of blankets and refuses to leave. texture....

cannot not wear socks he will die without them

cat magnet for some reason??? all neighbourhood cats are at his doorstep even when he and aven already have three. ig hes just cat dad now

aventurine hcs:

still has those glasses, his eyes are more sensitive to light too

really fucking likes fluffy stuff he loves the fluffy he loves the fluffy he-

big fan of sheep and peacocks

eternally terrified that ratio secretly hates him even when they start dating

bpd & adhd & probably autism (ALL BPD HAVERS FUCKING WIN WITH THIS ONE!!!!! I SEE YALL)

masks so often its insane

used to smoke and drink heavily, but has started to lay off ever since he met ratio

still an adrenaline junkie and still has his stupidly good good luck

really likes coffee too, coffee addict, has horrible eyebags, a shitty sleep schedule, and overworks himself half to death

cant fucking cook what the hell is a kitchen

very fond of stelle/caelus and sees them as his surrogate younger siblings. stelle taught him how to play video games and now he plays with them whenever his thoughts get really bitchy to him

horrible at relying on other people but is slowly unlearning that

can do a backflip (why? idk)

high pain tolerance

has a collection of sheep plushies that his friends bought for him

numby and him get along really well. he and topaz still have that sibling esque relationship.

i think he still works for the ipc in this au but its not as bad as it is in canon

starved of touch and does not really know what a healthy relationship is before ratio comes along

loves blankets he has like ten blankets on his bed at once idk why

once poured monster energy into coffee and then drank it. he suffered the consequences. even good luck can't save you from that

listens to generic pop (lie. he actually loves indie guitar)

MENTAL ILLNESS REP IN THIS MAN

accidentally big brothered some kids. help how does he deal with affection

buys stuff for stelle and caelus too. he buys them sheep plushies. they will defend said sheep plushies with their lives. they buy him racoon plushie in return. he does not cry.

his fingers shake so bad sometimes (PTSD goes hard)

motor skills can and will die on him occasionally

unhealthy coping mechanisms but hes getting better guys

he does relapse occasionally but hes putting in effort. finally got his ass to therapy thanks to ratio :)

second cat dad. he loves his cat children he will die for his cat children.

the cats like laying next to him as he eeps if ratio isnt there. they purr and help him with his nightmares.

(ily people w bpd you deserve this rep!!! enjoy :3)

them together hcs!!!!

ratio already had background information on bpd due to his psych degree beforehand but did more researching into it when he realized that aven had bpd because he wanted to support his partner as much as he could :)

ratio is big on physical touch but aven needed some time to get used to it and he was very big on it

aven really likes spoiling the absolute shit out of ratio and likes getting him gifts because sometimes he doesn't know how to word how much he appreciates ratio

aven likes to wash ratios hair for him and visa versa, non sexual intimacy always fucking wins

ratio still worries about aven and doesn't like him gambling all the time, aven makes an active effort to better himself for him even if it's really hard

at the start it was really fucking shitty between the two of them but eventually aven started to learn how to properly and safely communicate with ratio and ratio learned how to phrase his thoughts in a way that wouldn't trigger something, and although they both make mistakes they are doing their best for one another and generally have a good impact on one another's stages of healing (im not projecting im not projecting i-)

aven will hold ratio in his arms and tell him that he's good enough when the thoughts get really bad

they love cuddling, who's big spoon and small spoon switches regularly because they both like being held and holding the other

aven will stop by ratio after his classes and take him home when hes too tired

ratio shuts down sometimes and aven messes with his hair and just stays with him until he reboots

they kiss <33333333333

they cuddle so much they hold one another going to bed

ratio likes giving aven little headkisses and peppers his face with them

they are gay and in love and healthy actually

they were never toxic yaoi never will they be. they are healthy.

they get married <333

this is so much more than what you asked for probably but here you go.

[burned0utstar]

I'm still lost in the way his arms made me feel safe.

I wish he would hold me like that again and not let go this time.

Remembering doesn't bring comfort, it only brings confusion.

[sourgecko]

Having BPD while also being aroace has been the most unbearably isolating experience for me.

My BPD causes me to fixate on random people and become extremely attached to them and desperately want to be their priority like they are for me, but I never will because even if they don't already have closer friends, they'll definitely prioritise their partner over me. I almost wish I could force myself to date them in spite of my sexuality, but that would be unfair both to them and myself, and I simply don't want any part in that.

People always tell me "you can just meet other aroace people and then you can be their priority!" But it's really not the be-all solution they think it is. Firstly, I cannot control who I develop my FP attachment to and unfortunately it has always been allos or at the very least, partnering people, so far. Secondly, do you realise just how many extremely rare occurrences would all have to align in order for that to solve this issue? I'd have to meet someone who is also aromantic and asexual and non-partnering all at once which is already extremely rare, and they'd have to actually like me and I'd have to like them an equal amount and both of us would have to want to be each other's Priority, the chances of all that overlapping in one person is so rare. Either that or finding an allo person who doesn't treat friendships any lesser than relationships, but in this society that's pretty much impossible.

So yeah, in my 19 years of living, I have yet to know what it feels like to have someone truly be your priority, your favourite person, your best friend, and to be theirs at the same time, and I am emotionally crushed being surrounded by people who all seem to have that for themselves already.

[fluffshiicloud]

pathetic yandere boyfriend who hangs on your every word and bends to your every whim. pathetic yandere boyfriend who pushes aside everyone else's existence just to give you his unwavering, undivided attention. pathetic yandere boyfriend who treats you like his god, his world, his dearly beloved darling. gladly getting on his knees and worshipping every aspect of your heavenly being. pathetic yandere boyfriend who craves nothing but your unending love and devotion. because who is he without you? pathetic yandere boyfriend who despises the people who dare think to be in your presence. they don't deserve you. they don't understand you like he does. why would you spend time with them? is he not good enough? what do they have that he doesn't? he should be the only to hear your laugh, see your smile, feel your warmth, bask in your gorgeous glory. do you not love him? is that it? are you thinking of leaving me? for them? what'd i do? i'll do anything. anything for you to fix it. please don't leave me. i'll beg if i have to.

because who am i without you?

[tear-stained-lenses]

I close my eyes, hoping that when I open them up, things will feel okay. But yet again, I'm blamed, I'm called a monster, a freak. I'm seen as the villain in my own story, because of something I'm not the cause of. But no matter how much you make me seem like the bad person. I love you. I need you. Let me close my eyes again, just to hope I'll be in your arms next time.

[rotting-in-the-woods]

all I keep thinking is

fuck you

and

i hate you

[lettingtobygo]

The love and care I seek, I can give to myself

[feralforeignfox]

I am selfish.

I will not share you, ever.

Even if I have to break your legs and chain you up. You're fucking mine. Mine forever.

You will not leave me.

The thought of being apart from you makes me sick.

[chaos-in-one]

Anyways FUCK cluster b people throwing each other under the bus, instead we should all hold hands and kiss