#bpd partner

[tear-stained-lenses]

*No reply*

Oh so you want me to kill myself?

[trouble-de-la-belle-princesse]

"It's okay if you don't need me, I'll give you all the time and space you need." ← secretly planning a murder-suicide in their mind

[learningfromlosing]

How can I explain that the bruises on my arms, yes are from him, but they're from him holding me while I'm having a violent outburst so I don't hurt myself. These bruises on my wrists are to save me from myself. These bruises on my arms are from him refusing to let me go, and I don't know if others will understand.

[axoxodu]

I was fucking crying and he knew it.. but he still asked for pics of my legs.. because it could make him smile.

Of course I sent him those pics.

[bpd-aware]

Click the image to find out how you can support your BPD partner through their recovery.

[shehasbpd]

we're (she's) back to considering whether this is a real relationship, because she's not a 'relationship person' and needs to be single. we'd gone almost 2 months without her saying anything like this out loud.

friends and lovers.

but that was at 5 PM.

and the evening got better, to the point where, while I'm confused about what we are, I'm allowing for the possibility that we're still okay as committed partners.

everything changes by the hour. and that was on the eve of me leaving town (long-distance relationship), so maybe it's just the push-away-so-I-don't-get-hurt voice in her head. either way, I'm feeling wounded and a little angry (this is one of her 'voices' that frustrates me to no end).

[honeypleasejustkillme]

i thought i was at my lowest but holy shit it gets lower

[the-crooked-library]

the statements "lestat does many terrible inexcusable things" and "there is a Reason for everything lestat does, even the things that end up being senselessly cruel" absolutely can and should coexist

like. louis might be dealing with too many things himself to notice, but it's evident to an observer. yes, lestat laughs at him when he asks if he's "enough" - and it's cold, and cruel, and definitely the wrong thing to do in that emotionally fraught conversation; but it's not random. the reason lestat reacts this way, with laughter that is almost a shock, is because throughout the years they've already spent living together, louis has acted like lestat is not enough for him. he's tried to maintain a relationship with humans, fallen into depression realizing he will never have a family of his own, scoffed at the idea of lestat being his family - and because lestat can no longer read his mind and is himself rather ignorant, selfish, and insecure, he could not see it as anything else but a rejection. being lestat, he reacts accordingly - he tries to make louis jealous, tries to push him into staking a claim - and louis barely ever does!.. so he keeps pushing and making things worse and worse. it's cause and effect. a rube goldberg device of pettiness and heartbreak

a crucial element of the vampires' tragedy is that makers and fledglings are cut off from each other, and that's the Point

[aurae-rori]

Wanna ask if you have any headcannons for aventio modern au

( cause I am obsessed with modern aus)

hellyeah brother i'm here to serve the masses

hcs about ratio:

still a doctor still has 8 phds

knows about student debt and hates it with a burning passion

has a duck keychain that he puts on his keychain with all of his keys like the keys to his house

once crushed a soda can in his hands during his student years bcs he was that fucking mad about the homework questions not being stated in a clear manner (he just like me fr)

has several duck plushies in his bed and theyre all named after either greek philosophers or roman politicians

can speak latin fluently and mutters curse words and creative expressions in latin during the classes that he teaches because he is that pissed off

used to be a full time doctor, but decided to turn to teaching instead after some time

hyper-empathy due to childhood neglect (he just like me fr)

eyebags that he covers up with makeup, he still has those from his student years and cant fucking get them to leave no matter how many hours he sleeps for

enjoys occasionally a rum & coke

really likes lattes and london fogs

had a british accent once because he travelled to the uk and picked up on it, when he came back he was mortified

fucking loves ducks so much he has a camera roll dedicated to duck photos

he got to pet a duck once he was happy for the rest of the week thats how much he loves them

massive nerd & dork

undiagnosed autism with a side of gifted child trauma

really likes jazz and lofi it calms him down fast and makes him happy

wrings his hands when he's really happy

touch starved

makes really good soup

hopeless romantic

more mentally unstable than you think he is. he is actually suffering from burnout but doesnt want to let people around him down.

doing his best. sometimes on the weekends he just nestles into a cocoon of blankets and refuses to leave. texture....

cannot not wear socks he will die without them

cat magnet for some reason??? all neighbourhood cats are at his doorstep even when he and aven already have three. ig hes just cat dad now

aventurine hcs:

still has those glasses, his eyes are more sensitive to light too

really fucking likes fluffy stuff he loves the fluffy he loves the fluffy he-

big fan of sheep and peacocks

eternally terrified that ratio secretly hates him even when they start dating

bpd & adhd & probably autism (ALL BPD HAVERS FUCKING WIN WITH THIS ONE!!!!! I SEE YALL)

masks so often its insane

used to smoke and drink heavily, but has started to lay off ever since he met ratio

still an adrenaline junkie and still has his stupidly good good luck

really likes coffee too, coffee addict, has horrible eyebags, a shitty sleep schedule, and overworks himself half to death

cant fucking cook what the hell is a kitchen

very fond of stelle/caelus and sees them as his surrogate younger siblings. stelle taught him how to play video games and now he plays with them whenever his thoughts get really bitchy to him

horrible at relying on other people but is slowly unlearning that

can do a backflip (why? idk)

high pain tolerance

has a collection of sheep plushies that his friends bought for him

numby and him get along really well. he and topaz still have that sibling esque relationship.

i think he still works for the ipc in this au but its not as bad as it is in canon

starved of touch and does not really know what a healthy relationship is before ratio comes along

loves blankets he has like ten blankets on his bed at once idk why

once poured monster energy into coffee and then drank it. he suffered the consequences. even good luck can't save you from that

listens to generic pop (lie. he actually loves indie guitar)

MENTAL ILLNESS REP IN THIS MAN

accidentally big brothered some kids. help how does he deal with affection

buys stuff for stelle and caelus too. he buys them sheep plushies. they will defend said sheep plushies with their lives. they buy him racoon plushie in return. he does not cry.

his fingers shake so bad sometimes (PTSD goes hard)

motor skills can and will die on him occasionally

unhealthy coping mechanisms but hes getting better guys

he does relapse occasionally but hes putting in effort. finally got his ass to therapy thanks to ratio :)

second cat dad. he loves his cat children he will die for his cat children.

the cats like laying next to him as he eeps if ratio isnt there. they purr and help him with his nightmares.

(ily people w bpd you deserve this rep!!! enjoy :3)

them together hcs!!!!

ratio already had background information on bpd due to his psych degree beforehand but did more researching into it when he realized that aven had bpd because he wanted to support his partner as much as he could :)

ratio is big on physical touch but aven needed some time to get used to it and he was very big on it

aven really likes spoiling the absolute shit out of ratio and likes getting him gifts because sometimes he doesn't know how to word how much he appreciates ratio

aven likes to wash ratios hair for him and visa versa, non sexual intimacy always fucking wins

ratio still worries about aven and doesn't like him gambling all the time, aven makes an active effort to better himself for him even if it's really hard

at the start it was really fucking shitty between the two of them but eventually aven started to learn how to properly and safely communicate with ratio and ratio learned how to phrase his thoughts in a way that wouldn't trigger something, and although they both make mistakes they are doing their best for one another and generally have a good impact on one another's stages of healing (im not projecting im not projecting i-)

aven will hold ratio in his arms and tell him that he's good enough when the thoughts get really bad

they love cuddling, who's big spoon and small spoon switches regularly because they both like being held and holding the other

aven will stop by ratio after his classes and take him home when hes too tired

ratio shuts down sometimes and aven messes with his hair and just stays with him until he reboots

they kiss <33333333333

they cuddle so much they hold one another going to bed

ratio likes giving aven little headkisses and peppers his face with them

they are gay and in love and healthy actually

they were never toxic yaoi never will they be. they are healthy.

they get married <333

this is so much more than what you asked for probably but here you go.

[sdv-confessions]

ever since the autistic shane discourse ive had a brainworm about bpd princess haley. the more i think about it the more it fits. shes oddly asocial (doesnt seem to like anyone in pelican town very much), definitely thinks she's better than other people, unwilling to admit when shes in the wrong (like in her silly fight with emily) and always dropping hints instead of just SAYING what she wants (i would have kissed you in the dark room haley. i didnt want to be creepy ok im not a mind reader im SORRY)

[tear-stained-lenses]

“I love you.”

No you don't.

[burned0utstar]

I'm still lost in the way his arms made me feel safe.

I wish he would hold me like that again and not let go this time.

Remembering doesn't bring comfort, it only brings confusion.

[learningfromlosing]

Happy Valentine's Day this is for the people who have relationships that others don't understand. Here's to the people who have odd habits with their partners. For the ones who can't really talk openly about everything because it's only safe with Them. For the people who feel like they're damaged and broken and useless and the people loving them so well it's changing their mind, even if it's slowly. For the people who need to ask, 'are you sure' a million times and for the ones who say, 'yes' a million and one. The people who are ashamed they need more love, and those who love them harder.

[axoxodu]

I'm trying to be nice around others but it's getting boring. I have profits from being nice but..

I'm disgusted by almost everyone.

I feel better than obese people.. even slightly overweighted people.. I'm skinny, I'm restrict food and I'm doing f@sts.. that's making me feel better.

I feel better than stupid people who luckily pass the grade. I am an A student, I have the second best grade in my class.. (but I'm going to be the best in this half of the year.)

I feel better than my siblings and cousins because I'm the best kid in my family. I'm doing much more than them, I'm the best in school, I'm the nicest one.

I feel better than other girls because my boyfriend is obsessed with me. I can do everything. I can be everything. I can feel everything and he is still with me. He is always waiting for me.

I feel better than my friends because I'm funnier, prettier and smarter. I'm telling funny jokes, I wear the prettiest clothes and I don't need make up like them.

I FEEL LIKE I'M THE BEST.

But when I go to sleep.. I feel like I'm the worst person alive.

I have to starve myself, I have to choke myself to feel better.

I'm addicted to my boyfriend. I can't live without him.

[shehasbpd]

she didn't take enough pills last night to end things, probably far from it (thankfully, from my perspective at least...), but since then she's been dealing with facial numbness, itchiness all over her body, sweating, nausea, and feeling dizzy and faint. she didn't get any sleep last night.

the relief* from the pain lasted a few hours, but the side effects might last an entire day or two.

maybe we can do something quiet today, like read, if she'd be able. we won't see each other in person until tuesday.

[*looking at her tumblr from last night, you'd have no idea that she got any relief at all; she came across as so broken]