#however I. rly do not like the first ones so it feels weird starting with those...

[wardingshout]

ALTTP december warm ups and doodling (and one from today, happy new year)

[felibrary]

LOVE IS AN OPEN DOOR - chuuya nakahara

synopsis: if you wouldn't know any better you'd think that chuuya nakahara doesn't take a liking to you - he loathes you. but what if one day you make a shocking discovery that it might be the opposite.

pairing: chuuya nakahara x gn!reader | wordcount: 1.2k | content & warnings: im at the first ep of s4, so if chuuya mischaracterized no need to wonder…, school au-ish kind of??, cursing (fuck), dazai teases chuuya for his crush, chuuyas kinda not rly good with his feelings and expressing himself, drinking (chuuya offering to go out and drink), dazai plays cupid/matchmaker

a/n: when i wrote this i didn't have 15 yo dazai or chuuya in mind (cause of the school au yk) just as them idk but interpret it however you like - high school or college wtv, im so obsessed with chuuya rn y'all don't even know, hope u guys enjoy this little thing i've whipped up in an hour

you're convinced that chuuya nakahara hates you.

that's one thing you're sure of. after all, he avoids you like the plague; however when the two of you do get in touch with one another, he starts cursing you out, calling you names such as “dumbass" and abruptly leaves.

yeah, you're pretty sure that that guy dislikes - if not despises you. although until now you've hadn’t had the slightest idea why. well, that was the case up until now.

some days have passed since you started noticing it. every time you hung out with dazai and started laughing a bit too loudly at his jokes or lightly slapped his shoulder, chuuya gave you a death stare - if you wouldnt know any better he looked like he’d grab your throat any minute to shut you up.

admittedly (and also embarrassedly) you never really noticed it until dazai has pointed it out. which, on one hand, explains the weird feeling you’ve recently gotten - it felt like someone was shooting daggers at the back of your head, luckily for you, that’s solved now.

but on the other hand, you still demand an explanation why chuuya would do that. is it simply because of his (one-sided) hatred towards you, that can’t be the case right? or did he have a huge crush on dazai, that’s the most realistic explanation that you can think of.

-

once school ended and the bell had just rung to release everyone from their classes and go back home. you’d usually scurry home right away, because there was no point in staying longer, after all who’d want to endure this hell house also known as school more than necessary, it's no use right?

well jokes on you, staying over time was definitely worth it. kunikida assigned you the task (forced) to carry a huge stack of boxes full of documents and paper to your homeroom teacher's room, because it was the “right” thing to do - well at least according to his ideals. 

“but what about dazai? that idiot  just ran off and is probably slacking off right now!” you protested, because it's not fair when everyone has a task to complete and someone else just gets to relax, right? 

at your complaint the blond could only scoff “i’ll scold him later, but for now let's just concentrate on the task in front of us, time is running out.”

-

that’s how you ended up here, back pressed against the heavy classroom door that separated you and the two guys that were inside the room as you tried to listen in into their conversation.

initially your plan was to find dazai, drag him by the collar of his white button up and beat his ass for skipping and leaving you alone with a ton of boxes that not only cost you ten minutes to carry around or so.

because neither kunikida or anyone else didn’t bother to tell you that there were three, fucking three, of those staples of boxes that were filled with countless papers.

however, it came to a change of plans upon hearing chuuyas’ voice. usually, any sound that was made inside of the classrooms was drowned out and barely audible to hear outside the room. 

this time, that didn’t seem to be the case though. chuuyas’ screaming and dazais' hysterical laughter were faint but loud enough to hear from outside the room. 

“come on chuuya, there's no need denying it, you have a massive crush on them.” dazais’ voice was laced with amusement as he started laughing out loud which seemed to piss the redhead off. 

you were able to hear a small huff that escaped dazais mouth. “chuuya, there’s really no need to start getting all violent, just admit that you’re absolutely whipped for them!” the brunette chuckled. “so stop kicking me in the balls!” that probably earned him another kick as you could hear dazai letting out a small “ouch.”

“shut up, shitty dazai.” the guy in question only snickered at that. “yeah, yeah. everyone’s able to tell that you’re madly in love with them. every time you’re around them you start to get beet red, the color even exceeds the one of your hair! a hilarious sight to look at, really.” 

you didn’t hear a response from chuuya and apparently neither did dazai so he just continued his rant. “also, let me tell you one thing, you’re not making it any better by cussing them out or intently staring at them, that’s just scary, man!” dazai closes his eyes and starts shaking his head before tutting in disappointment.

“oh chuuya. the brunette sighs, eyes still closed. “letting a beauty like them slip away this easily by not showing any proper interest. you’re to be pitied, really.” the male moves away from his previous position and bolts over to the door, crossing his arms as his back leans against the door.

an exasperated sigh leaves chuuyas mouth. “what do you expect me to do then? they probably have a horrible impression of me already. if i pull up with a bouquet of roses and some cliché pick up lines, they’d probably stare at me in horror, wondering if i got possessed or something.” he sneers at dazai. 

just who in the world are they talking about?

dazai pretends to think for a moment before snapping his fingers. “well for starters, how about greeting them, doesn’t even have to be verbal, just some waving or nodding. then start hanging out with them!”

“idiot! how's that supposed to work from just greeting each other!” the ginger scowls at dazai.

“hold your horses.” the brunette whistles. “i didn't say to rendez-vous and have a candle-light dinner. how about accepting those group invites first that you keep declining. then you’d have the chance to meet up with them more often and get to know them.”

dazai continues to advise chuuya by giving him tips and recommendations “try bonding over stuff with each other, like favorite shows or food. and if you’re not incapable of doing so, how about complimenting them. wouldn't hurt you know?” dazai shrugs in simplicity. 

chuuyas still skeptical “assumingly that was the case. the two of us attending the same party, they’re alone and i finally get the chance to approach them, what the fuck am i supposed to say?” dazai only smiles at chuuya, a look that says “that’s up to you.” 

“why not use me as your lab rat!” dazai suggests optimistically.

“no way in hell!” chuuya shoots back pessimistically.

after pondering and musing for a while, chuuya comes up with a curt sentence. “i find you really good looking and cool.” the redhead stops and both you and dazai await his continuation in anticipation. “wanna go out and grab drinks sometimes?” chuuya doesn’t look up from the floor which he’s been staring at for the past minute. the tips of his ears tinted in a vermillion red.

“well, that wasn't so hard was it?” dazai asks cheerily, clapping his hands together. “if you still have doubts, how about you try it on the real thing now?” and before you can realize what's going on dazai swiftly steps away from the door before grabbing the door handle and opens the door, revealing your figure to the two guys. 

you’re not sure who's more taken aback, you or chuuya.

© VYNICITY 2024. stealing, copying, translating, reposting my works on other platforms or feeding them to ai is not permitted.

e/n: as y’all can tell the title is inspired by frozen's love is an open door cause y’know dazai opens the door for chuuya to confess his feelings. does this make sense lol??

[spiderlandry]

Yes, Chef — ethan landry

Description: The most loving thing one could do is cook for someone else. Ethan finds out it’s your love language.

Pairing: Ethan Landry x GN!Reader

Warnings: implication that reader is shorter than ethan, no ghostface, amber was reader’s ex but it’s only a small mention, lmk if there’s any warnings i should add !! there may be some errors since i only edited this once

Word Count: 3k

Author’s note: i wrote with a poc reader in mind, and much of reader’s experience with cooking is based off my own

Chad is starting to get worried. Exams are in a month, and even though everyone he knows is working hard to prepare, it’s like Ethan is studying as if exams are next week. Chad thinks he can even hear his roommate talking in his sleep sometimes.

He wakes up to Ethan being up at the crack of dawn, a large cup of coffee in hand and deeper bags under his eyes than yesterday.

So, yeah, it’s concerning.

He already tried to coax him into taking more care of himself, but Ethan waves it off. He’s tried other things: getting Sam to scold him, try to get him to go out and party so he’ll get tired, having Quinn threaten him.

If nothing happens, he may resort to putting sleeping pills in Ethan’s coffee.

However, there is one more thing.

You.

Ever since Ethan was introduced to the rest of his friends which included you, he’d been paying more attention to his appearance and how he’s perceived. At first Chad thought he might’ve had a crush on Tara, but Ethan slipped up one time when he not very casually asked if you were going to a group hangout, a few weeks ago.

Chad can use that knowledge to his advantage, he realizes.

Knowing you since freshman year of high-school, you’re a naturally caring person, though can be quiet or a little closed off especially since the Woodsboro murders in which you discovered that your ex-girlfriend was one of the killers.

Your gentle nature, along with his crush, can surely save Ethan from burning himself out so much that he’ll show up to finals only a skeleton, right? Hopefully.

Chad prays he’s right as he sends you a text, Friday evening.

Chad

Hey, can I ask a favor

                    depends

Might be a little weird but u know how ethan has been studying rly hard?

                    yeah u said u were worried. is he ok?

Yeah he’s fine mostly. Im just worried so Im asking if you can

like

Ask him to hang out or something

                    ? why

                     not that i would mind but why

Youre the one he would say yes to I already tried other stuff to get him to relax but man looks like hes about to pass out

Idk I have a feeling its more than about school but its not my place and I think he would open up to u

You know he has a crush on u right

                      i dont believe u but ill do it

Bro dont even act like u dont like him too

                      shut up

You roll your eyes at your phone, already coming up with a plan for a way to get Ethan to chill out. That’s when you think of it.

Ethan allows himself to sleep in during the weekends. But when he wakes up at 11 AM to a text from you that was sent at six, he immediately regrets it.

He opens his phone to read it.

hey i have this new recipe i wanna try but i need a second opinion

wanna come over after work? i get off at 5

He rubs his eyes, making sure he’s reading it right. You? Inviting him? To come over to your place alone?

He’s not proud of the way he gapes at the message for a long moment before he can answer, responding with a ‘sure!’ despite the word not conveying his excitement mixed with the worry at the pit of his stomach. Why are you inviting him alone? He can’t let himself think that it’s anything other than friendliness, right? But you only invited him, so it must mean something.

He rushes to his closet to pick out his outfit, already forgetting about the unfinished page of notes on his desk.

Ethan has known you for a good few months, since the beginning of the school year. But at this point, he’s memorized your smile and your voice, becoming less subtle as time goes on. He pays attention to every single thing you’ve said about yourself, including but not limited to how you almost went to culinary school. He remembers how you once baked a cake for Tara’s birthday, not only the batter from scratch but also the buttercream frosting. He smiles at the memory of you showing the group how to make pasta one night.

To say he’s excited is an understatement.

He doesn’t even bother getting his coffee this time so his breath doesn’t smell like it.

Chad notices that Ethan’s usual cup is still in the cupboard, mentally patting himself on the back for getting the idea to reach out to you.

It’s not long until it’s almost five, and Ethan is walking the few blocks over to your apartment, enjoying the wind. He knows not to show up empty handed, so he stops at a bodega to buy your favourite chips.

You‘d gotten home a little early due to your workplace not being too busy, thankfully. You start prep, laying out the ingredients. The knock from your door reaches your ears a few minutes later, and knowing it’s Ethan you open the door.

You’re greeted with a bag of chips to your face, taking it and seeing Ethan have a slight upturn at the corner of his lips. You mirror his expression, albeit with a wider smile (you can’t help it), letting him into your apartment. He sits down at the breakfast bar facing into the kitchen, while you stand on the other side facing him.

This isn’t the first time he’s been here, but it is the first time he’s here alone. With you. He tried to get rid of the images in his head of him being over at your place every day because you want him to be there. He can’t think like that, not now when you’re beaming up at him while you showcase the ingredients on the kitchen counter, your sentences going into one ear and out the other.

“…Ethan?” Your brows are furrowed, not knowing if he’s paying attention. You quickly catch that he’s not—he has to think for a moment about what to say.

“Uhm—“ he clears his throat. “Sorry, I wasn’t listening. What?” He mentally cringes at himself. He’s sure you’d think he’s not interested and oh god, what if you think he doesn’t want to be there?

You laugh lightly. “I said do you like steak? I mean, I probably should’ve asked, but—“ You’re glad he stops your ramble before it goes any further.

“I like it, don’t—don’t worry.”

“Okay, good. Because this would’ve been awkward.”

Ethan is determined not to let any weird silences happen, so he continues despite not knowing what to say. His curiosity gets the best of him. “Not that I don’t want to, but why did you invite me here? I mean…just me.”

You try to brush it off, coming up with an excuse. “I invited Tara, but she couldn’t make it.” You turn back to the ingredients to get started.

He’s glad you’re not facing him to see his shoulders practically deflate finding out that he’s not the first choice. He’s not sure why he got his hopes up so much.

Before he can say anything else, you interrupt his train of thought. “Wanna help?”

He stands up quickly, eager. “What do you need?”

Truthfully, you’d made this dish a thousand times before that you could do it in your sleep. You’re not about to try anything new when your main objective is to take Ethan’s mind off things.

“How are you with knives?” You ask, taking out a chef’s knife from the knife holder. His eyes widen, begrudgingly taking the object from your hand.

“This is gonna sound—nevermind,” He shakes his head.

“Tell me.”

“I’ve never had to…cook before.”

“Oh,” you sigh. “That’s fine. Do you not want the knife?”

“I do! I just—how do I use it?”

You smile, an image he wishes was burned into his mind. You slide the cutting board toward you, putting a handful of asparagus in the middle.

Ethan can’t help but stare at your hand at the way you delicately go through the motions of cutting, slowly to make sure he sees it. You show him how to trim the asparagus, and you give him back the knife to try.

A spark tingles throughout his hand when you put yours on it to guide him.

“Just trim all of these. Got it?”

He nods.

You prepare the steak on a separate cutting board alongside him.

“Can I ask why you’ve been studying so hard, E?”

The nickname isn’t lost on him, but he tries his best to ignore it before he accidentally cuts himself.

“Finals next month,” He says curtly.

“Is that the truth?”

“Does it matter?”

“It does to me. But I’m not trying to force you.”

He pauses. “Can we change the topic?”

You nod, “You pick. Turns out I’m terrible at conversation. Can you fill up a pot of water for the mini potatoes? And put some salt in it.”

“How long have you been cooking?” He puts the asparagus in the bowl they were previously in and doing as you say. With the way he gets the question out so fast, you’d think he’d been thinking about it.

“As a kid, I was around a lot of people who knew how to cook,” you begin while you prepare a pan on the stove, melting the butter. “I learned from them. International dishes, mainly. Lots of spices. But I moved to New York and started working in a kitchen when I was sixteen, so I learned about some European pastries and white people food.” You chuckle.

There’s something with the way you talk about food that makes his chest warm. It’s unfamiliar, but a welcome feeling nonetheless. It’s different from how you talk about other things—this one feels more intimate.

You continue. “I think you know, but I almost went to culinary school.”

He does know. He wonders why you didn’t go.

“I took cooking classes as an elective at my high-school. I was lucky they offered that. Senior year, I was a stage for some really pretentious restaurants—y’know, mainly as a server, but I got to know how the kitchen worked.”

He hasn’t even noticed that the butter is almost all melted on the pan and you’ve put some rosemary and thyme on it until you pause to turn to him.

You grab the cutting board with the steak on it, placing it next to the stove.

“They were the kinds of places that served small portions for high prices.” You stared at the stove, turning up the heat.

“Why didn’t you go to culinary school?” He timidly asks.

“The people,” You say it so quietly at first that he almost missed it. “I met people who made the kitchen pretty much unbearable. There was shouting…lots of it, actually. The crazy high standards. They didn’t shout at me, but seeing it from the sidelines was worse…somehow? I don’t know.”

He finds himself wanting to have a stern word with whoever made you feel that way about something you so clearly love.

He’s about to ask another question before you interrupt him.

You pick up the steak from the board, motioning for him to come closer. “Always lay away from you,” you say. “Otherwise you splash oil on yourself, ‘kay?”

He nods. He continues with his question. “Do you regret it?”

He doesn’t realize how heavy of a question it is until after he says it, and he’s going to retract his statement but you respond.

“No, actually, I don’t.”

There’s a sweetness in your voice that’s hard to catch, but for Ethan’s ears, it’s as if they’ve been attuned to your tone.

“If I went to culinary school, I would’ve started to hate it—“ You grab the tongs, using it to push the sides of the steak to the pan, “—That’s searing. You seal in the juices when the surface browns, see that?—“

When he nods, you proceed.

“I grew up believing that cooking was a way to care about people, you know? Like a love language. And If I made cooking my career, that’s not what it would be for me. Does that make sense?”

“Yeah, yeah. It does.”

Once all the sides are seared, you grab a spoon and you slightly tilt the pan, using the utensil to coat the steak in the melted butter. “That’s basting. So it doesn’t lose moisture. Every time you flip a steak, it loses moisture, so just do it once.”

He thinks he’s getting repetitive when he nods once more to show that he’s actually listening.

It’s not long until the steak is done, and he’s excited to get it on the plate but instead, you put it on a baking sheet and cover it in tin foil.

“You’re next.”

His head snaps up toward you, sputtering, “What?”

“Do you want to learn?”

“Yeah—“

“Then get to work.” You smirk, and he’d be lying if he said that didn’t awaken something in him. You point to the other steak in the packaging.

He tries to remember the steps you did, but you do have to remind him what to do occasionally.

You’re standing close to him, almost hovering, but he doesn’t mind one bit. In fact, he almost leans in instinctively when you bring your hand up to his face and pushes his curls out of his face.

“You’re doing good,” you whisper.

It takes everything inside him not to collapse right there. He’d give everything to feel your hand on his face again.

You’ve set two plates on the counter. The mini potatoes were boiled nicely, and you cut them swiftly in half (a feast for Ethan’s eyes). Ethan watches while you quietly as you carefully plate the food, and he can’t help but look around him. The used pan, the knives, cutting boards, you plating the food—there’s an element of domesticity.

It’s in the way you flash a smile directed at him and only him, in the comfort of your own home, after you’ve just cooked together. He imagines a future where it’s like this every night.

You open the fridge, grabbing out two sodas. As you turn around Ethan is surprisingly close to you.

Only a few inches away.

He slowly takes the cans from you, setting it on the space next to him. All as if he’s about to wake a sleeping dragon if he were to move too quickly.

“Why are you doing this?” He asks, almost in a pleading whisper. His eyes are boring into yours, and you can’t bring yourself to look away.

“I told you.” Your tone mirrors his. “Cooking is a way to take care of someone, and I care about you.”

He doesn’t know what possesses him to do the next thing.

He brings himself closer to you, not breaking the eye contact.

Suddenly, everything makes itself known. Your breathing, shallower than his, anticipating his next move. The way your clothes touch. The cold air coming from the fridge.

He brings his hand to touch your jaw, it’s a feather-like sensation as his digits make contact with your skin. “Is this okay?”

You gulp and nod, unable to find the words.

“Need to hear you say it.”

In the lowest whisper, “Yes.”

He lifts your chin, tilting his head.

It’s a tiny pause until you’re the one taking the leap, closing the small distance and slotting your lips against his.

Everything falls away, and nothing else matters. His lips are soft. You feel his large hands go to your neck and you wrap your arms around his torso, trying to get impossibly closer.

You’re the first to pull away and you grin when he chases your lips.

“Hi,” You beam. “W—what was that for?”

“You tell me,” he smiles.

You anticipate the night to end when you’re both finished the food and the drinks, and you’ve cleaned up the kitchen.

But neither of you want it to end.

You cross your arms, facing Ethan who’s reluctantly about to open the door.

“Wanna stay?”

He turns around, tilting his head like a cute puppy. “Thought you’d never ask.”

That’s how you found yourselves cuddling on the couch, a new show on your television.

“I have to tell you something,” you whisper, eyes still on the screen.

“Hm?”

“Chad told me to ask you to hang out.” You grimace. “And before you say anything, I didn’t invite you just because of him. I was worried about you too.” You look up at him, the proximity comfortable rather than awkward.

“I figured.”

“Really?”

His arm tightens around you. “When you asked me why I was studying so hard, I remembered Chad’s been trying to get me out of it. This was his last resort.”

You snort, “His last resort was putting sleeping pills in your coffee.”

“I’m…gonna have to talk to him about that.”

“Can I ask why you’re studying?”

“To distract myself.”

You almost sit up. “From what?”

“Not tonight.” He lays your head against him again, and your trust is in his hands. “Someday.”

And someday, he’ll tell the story about how the week before, he realized he loved you. It scared him so much that it kept him up for days, but the night you kissed would be the day his worries all went away.

[joltai-showa]

I rly lov your long posts about Deidara specifically, but Im curious as to why (and maybe Ive just not read everything you've written) you mention Deidara as joining the Akatsuki at ages like 12-13? Because I feel like it's been pretty well stated that Deidara was recruited at 15. Which still, he's quite the prodigy, but iirc he was Sasori's partner of 4 years and canonically died at 19 which would mean he was 15 at the time of his recruitment, no?

Hi, anon, I did talk about it previously in reblogs to one of my posts (the one about Deidara and Obito prefering to hang upside down), but I'll explain it again.

Someone already commented that "it's been stated he was Sasori's partner for 4 years", however, when I asked for an actual reference to something in canon indicating that, I got no reply. My assumption is that this is some sort of popular headcanon in the fandom that's so deeply embedded into people's minds that at some point people just start saying that "oh, Deidara was partnered with Sasori for 4 years" even if nothing in canon is stated in regards to this. Again, if you manage to find a confirmation of this claim in canon, send it my way, I'm just stating that I did not see anything proving this to be true besides tumblr users saying so.

(and I do not consider anime to be canon, mostly because of the fact that they changed stuff from the manga to fit the endless fillers + taking stuff from anime means wrecking an already shaky timeline of Naruto world that exists purely off the fans' prayers and wishes + I never made myself watch the anime fully because I like to have other interests besides Naruto, so I am less familiar with it and looking for a single line confirming some fact in 600 something episodes of endless yapping and terrible pacing sounds like hell, so to me the only things that can serve as a proof are from the manga itself or the databooks, both of which were done by Kishimoto)

but back to Deidara's age at the time of recruitment - him being 12 is actually also a presumption of mine, but it's simply because of various factors. off the information available to me, we can not directly state that Deidara was exactly X years old when Akatsuki came for him, but we can get the range for his age.

Strictly speaking, the upper boundary for Deidara joining would be 16 years, and it's due to the last scene of OG Naruto where we see Akatsuki having a secret meeting with all of the members present. Deidara is undeniably there (the hairstyle and speech pattern of the member hanging from the ceiling matches his), so by that point he's already a full-fledged member of your local terrorist daycare. However, what is interesting about this scene is what Deidara says

(Viz's translation is being weird again, but as far as I remember, this is another case where in the original the subject of the sentence is omitted, so it actually should be something like "we'll finish off Orochimaru soon" and "will we be able to finish our tasks on time?")

in any case, what's curious about this scene is that Deidara seems to be fully aligned with Akatsuki's goals. This is not a boy who didn't want to join the organization because he wanted to do his art on his own and was forced to join after losing to one its members, this is a guy who is fully interested in whatever the hell Akatsuki had going on. So even if technically the upper limit for Deidara joing is 16, I would say that a reasonable boundary would be 15 - Deidara is far too comfortable in the organization during his first appearance to be a recent hire, so I'd say that he's been with the gang for at least a year.

Now onto the lower boundary for Deidara's age at the time of recruitment, and for this we'll need to use that scene itself

Again, because nothing is known regarding Deidara's time in Iwa (in the databooks some shinobi get their age when they became genin/chunin, however Deidara doesn't fall into this category either), so the estimates would have to come from the other three in the room, namely Sasori, Kisame and Itachi.

Sasori isn't really useful for this due to the fact that his nukenin career started an entire year before Deidara was even born (LMAO), Chiyo claims that Sasori returned 10 years later to kill the Third Kazekage (but I call bullshit on that, because this creates a plethora of timeline issues, so probably another Kishimoto moment), but none of that helps us with figuring out when Sasori got recruited, how long he spent in organization, etc etc.

Kisame's got even less information (except, you know, the times when he was doing the murder exam, and again, that was way before Deidara was even born), so not much use of him either.

However, Itachi has a lot more to go off. Obviously, if he is present in this scene as an Akatsuki member, this means that this takes place after the Uchiha massacre. And what we certainly know about it is that Itachi was 13 at the time. Itachi and Deidara have a 2 year age gap, meaning that the harshest lower boundary that can be imposed on Deidara in the recruitment scene is 11 (we can not go any lower, otherwise it's impossible for Itachi to be present).

That is if we assume that Itachi joined Akatsuki and immediately went to hunt for Deidara.

Which we know is not true, because the entire conflict with Orochimaru (who is Sasori's partner at the time) takes place. After the Uchiha massacre Itachi run away from Konoha, joined Akatsuki, got partnered with Kisame (off that flashback before Kisame's death it's not really clear who joined Akatsuki first, Itachi or Kisame, but nonetheless that scene had to have taken place before Deidara recruitment), had his conflict with Orochimaru, Orochimaru ditched Akatsuki, leaving Sasori without a partner, thus creating the need for replacement. And remember, Orochimaru did not return the ring after voluntarily resigning (without the organization's HR department's permission, of course), and again, these rings allow members to seal Tailed Beasts within Gedo Mazo, literally the most important thing about Akatsuki, so, in my opinion, some time would have to be spent by Akatsuki trying to (unsuccessfully) chase after Orochimaru and beat the shit out of him for stealing the company's property. All in all, some time would have to pass between Itachi joining and Deidara joining.

However, what speaks against this period of time being long is the way Akatsuki operate, which is pairing two people together. Sasori was left without a partner, and while I don't doubt that he is more than strong enough to do mass murder on his own, the suicide statistics in nukenins born in the Second Shinobi World War or soon after it speak for itself, so a replacement would need to be found fast, which is why I don't think the period between Itachi joining Akatsuki and Deidara meeting the gang would be longer than a year - can't leave Sasori hanging by himself, and nothing suggests that Sasori had other partners in between Orochimaru and Deidara, which is why I say the lowest age at which Deidara could have joined is 12.

So, to summarize, in the recruitment scene Deidara's age would be in [12; 15] range, if we are doing it with reasonable assumptions based off the canon interactions, but based off characters' presence alone it would be from 11 to 16.

However, there's more in regards to Deidara becoming a nukenin!

This moment here confirms that Deidara is already a terrorist by the time Akatsuki find him. He is not being stolen from Iwa, he has already run away and, moreover, he's been assisting insurgents for some time. And, what's important, he's doing it on his own, meaning that he had to work up a reputation for himself as a nukenin (otherwise insurgents wouldn't have worked with this random kid). Which implies that some time must have passed in between him leaving and meeting Akatsuki. Again, nothing concrete, but I wouldn't say that this period could have been less than a year, which means he would have been like 11-12 by the time he ditched Iwa.

Which is. Jesus. Even during the World Wars kids only become chunins by that point. I'm not even talking about the Naruto's "peaceful" generation.

And I remembred one final thing that also makes me believe that Deidara was younger than 15 during his recruitment, but it's a lot more shaky and biased. I'm talking about the way Kishimoto draws him in this scene

The main cast of Shippuden is exactly in this supposedly confirmed range (15-16 years old) for Deidara, however when I take Naruto/Sasuke/Sakura/etc etc, I just don't see Deidara being the same age as them in here. He looks younger, closer to them in OG Naruto than in Shippuden. Nonetheless, this is my personal opinion and perception, and Kishimoto is pretty inconsistent at drawing characters in their supposed age (probably because he himself has no idea how old his characters are in this or that scene, lmao), so that's the weakest argument I have for my position.

[karliahs]

fic writer interview!!

tysm @plusultraetc for the tag!! <3

How many works do you have on AO3?

50 exactly!

What's your total AO3 word count?

234,906, almost half of which (110k) was written/posted this year. insane!!

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

darken your door (12,832)

walk a mile (5642)

swan dive (4857)

rescue (3905)

something else to pretend (3,572)

there's a theme here and it's bnha fics i wrote in 2019/2020

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

yes!! with several asterisks i'll get into in a minute. i try to respond to every comment i get because:

i genuinely really appreciate that anyone takes the time to tell me they liked a fic when they could just consume it and say nothing with 0 consequences, so i want to say thank you

some comments have a rly big impact on me - change the way i feel about stuff, contain phrases i remember for a really long time, make me cry, etc - and just like how if someone writes a fic that impacts me then i want to tell them, i want to tell people how much their comment mattered

i often only figure out why i did something or made certain choices in a fic until someone prompts me to talk about it. it's such a useful exercise for understanding my own work better

i genuinely adore rambling about my fics, it's arguably more fun than writing them in the first place

it's really nice getting to chat to commenters and get to know people!

however. there is a 3-4 year period where i didn't reply to any comments at all because i got overwhelmed and then felt like it was too late to try and catch up. this still haunts me a little bit because i got some really lovely impactful comments in that era but it just feels too weird to reply literally like 5 years late 😭

2nd asterisk is some fics i feel kind of embarrassed about and so don't reply to comments on, 3rd is that i'm bad at managing my comments inbox so i'm sure i miss people out by accident sometimes, and 4th is that if i don't have anything nice to say then i won't respond...i get almost no comments i think are intentionally meant to be rude, but sometimes i get ones that rankle for one reason or another and i won't reply if i'm just gonna be tetchy bc again, i don't think they're meant badly

so very much a yes in theory but not in practice 😂

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

bargaining chips i think. the funny thing about that series is that in some ways i think things would ultimately turn out better than in canon (there's a reason the 2nd fic has akechi promise to contact ren if he does survive, a thing that would have paid off in the 3rd fic i never finished). but as of bargaining chips it's very much...this is the POV of a person who thinks the only power they have left in the world is to hurt people

What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

my usual ending is like bittersweet and/or hopeful, so for example i feel a lot of things about the cathertic (for me at least) endings for redux and something else to pretend and unwanted, but idk if they can exactly be called happy.

going to my pure silly fluff fics instead where we pretty much start happy and end happy: to work, to rest which ends with the gang being happy about stickers, or class pets which ends with class a getting three (3) cats

Do you write crossovers?

nope!

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

not really! probably the closest was someone commenting on pathologised with just "WHERE IS YUSUKE?" in all caps 🙄 "why isn't my fave dude in your fic" is not a genre of comment i enjoy, though it's usually phrased more politely than that at least

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

nope!

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not that i'm aware of, though it's apparently fairly rampant in bnha fandom with those "what if deku [x]" youtube videos. i think those are reserved for fics with actual plots though

Have you ever had a fic translated?

i think i've been asked for permission for people to do so before, but i don't think i've ever actually seen anything posted...someone did translate a little section of one fic into spanish in a bookmarker comment once, which was very fun because i remember little bits of spanish from school & years of sporadic duolingo

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

no but i think it would be so fun 👀

What's your all-time favorite ship?

mannnn i just cannot care about romantic ships the way that seems to be so ubiquitous in fandom. even when i try and write romance it ends up as like ambigious tenderness or Friendship With Vibes. the few times i've even written kissing it's been just a build up to a kiss after which the fic immediately fades to black, which is really funny in retrospect like...buddy, is that because you stop caring about what's happening once the kissing starts?

i am fond of erasermic, jontim and shindeku, though i enjoy them as platonic dynamics pretty much the same amount

What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

it mostly doesn't bother me to have tons of unfinished WIPs, i don't really put that expectation that everything i start will or should get finished/posted.

so the only one that genuinely bugs me is the third fic in seen and not heard, because i feel like i kind of promised it to people and then didn't deliver, and because it would have properly concluded a series i know a few people really connected with...and because the draft got to like 80% done but i could just never finish it off in a way i was happy with. maybe someday though

there's also a more recent bnha fic draft that i am really fond of in some ways, but i just could not take the discourse i think it would inspire. i might finish it just for me someday

What are your writing strengths?

cribbing all these from comments honestly but i think i'm pretty good at real-feeling emotional responses to situations. emotional realism, maybe? and writing introspection/people thinking and feeling things in general.

my characterisation gets complimented a fair bit, which is funny bc i think i actually take a lot of liberties with canon characters, but i guess i'm decent at couching those liberties in a way that makes it pass muster most of the time. like passing off a counterfeit watch as genuine

i'm somewhat good with grounding things in sensory detail, but that's one of those things i think i'll always be trying to get better at

What are your writing weaknesses?

i've never met a plot in my life and i don't want to. i also can't write longfic. in real-world terms i'm a short story writer and not a novelist - all those structural narrative things people do to make a long-form story work are just mystifying to me. part of that is just driven by what interests me though - i don't read a lot of plotty longfic either

i'm also still working on improving syntax and flow in my prose in general, but that's another one of those endless projects i think

oh also having more than two people in a prolonged dialogue scene is wildly difficult to me

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

i have no thoughts on this matter!

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

merlin! i wrote probably bad merlin fic on ff.net back when i was like 15/16. it's actually the reason i joined tumblr in the first place, bc my fave merlin fic writer had a tumblr and i got curious

What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to?

i'd like to write more about my silly little video game OCs. i've dabbled in it a bit before but i've never really invested in it because i know no one would read it/care. but i'm getting better at writing for myself and it is really fun to have records of these OCs that i love, so i hope i can write some stuff about the protag i make for new dragon age that i'll inevitably get deeply attached to

it's also kind of wild to me that i've never written for homestuck or dangan ronpa given the impact those two things had on my psyche

What's your favorite fic you've written?

my answer to this changes depending on the day but right now...something else to pretend my beloved

wow that got long. not tagging anyone but if you'd like to do it, consider yourself tagged!

[candycryptids]

Good morning (or good evening in your case I guess)! 🤭

Because you asked me about the theme songs: If you had to choose one for each of your OCs what would it be?

Goooood Morning! Or evening for you by now I think 🤔🥰 This’ll be easier for some than others B’3 (links will all be to YouTube videos hopefully!) thank you for the question this was a real thinker x3

So Levraut actually has a song we recently heard and went HOLY SHIT ITS LEV’S THEMESONG! Which would be [Creator, by Lena Raine] it has the mysterious suspense of the music box at the start, and then shifts into the cadence of something I associate with the Sea, which is something that sounds like Accordion ahaha (and then it further intensified with electric guitar, which isn’t usually in his soundscape, but it’s So Good)

[cut because… length again LOL]

For Tuesday I’d have to say my first choice is [Hello World, by Louie Zong] as far as songs that make me immediately associate with Tuesday lololol. The other song I have is [Waltz No. 2, Robot, by Hikaru Shirosu] it has, to me, the cadence of going shopping in a small market, but you’re still very ‘young’ in a sense, and small obstacles can feel like big obstacles ��� it’s also Piano, which is one of the instruments associated with Keathan! Who has a very heavy influence on Tuesday’s soundscape :3

For Chuusday…. Picking just one is rly hard… hm… it’s not on EITHER of her playlists I think, but [Home Beyond The Horizon by I think Masoyashi Soken and Daiki Ishikawa] Which is a song played on a crunchy, tinny radio. She’s not patriotic, but it was too large a part of her life for it to not have had some major impacts on her, lol. For a less/more serious song (???) I’d say [Hardware Store by Weird Al Yankovic]. It’s got. The vibe. LMAO.

Tangy is also hard to pin down, but I think [Fell In Love With A Girl, by White Stripes] does a pretty good job of suiting both the vibe and at least a Lil Bit the lyrics [because the first three lines remind me of Minfilia and Tangy :/ not that I ship them explicit romantic 100% of the time, but it coulda been. It coulda.]

🎤Fell in love with a girl

I fell in love once and almost completely

She's in love with the world🎵

Otherwise my other offering is When You Look At Her and it’s just playing [Cat Cafe by Tsundere Twintails] in her whole expression.

There’s not a particular song I can think of for Mochiie yet- I’ve been fighting that gorilla for a month or so now and I’m not much closer to victory yet, lmfao. However I do offer the song from [this post] because it reminds me Thavnair, so the real answer is I have a lot of music in Urdu I need to listen to and figure out his vibe LOL. I found the song in particular after scouring the notes though! Which is ->[Mehndi Laga Ke Rhakna, sung by Lata Mangeshkar and Udit Narayan] (I also need to figure out the influence the Azim Steppe had on him 🫢)

Ishi’li is… tricky. Cos I’m also still working on their playlist BDJDNFJDJFSK and the one song I’ve heard recently that made me think of him so so hard isn’t in the soundscape I’d set for them :T but. It’s rly Ishi.

[Like or Like Like by Miniature Tigers]

🎤I watched you get undressed

I must have turned bright red

'Cause I couldn't stand to face you

'Cause I liked what I saw

And maybe we should just be friends

Tell me how you feel about me

Do you like or like, like me?

Tell me what you really feel

Do you like me? Just say you do🎵

Swydghem actually has songs because I listened to a playlist on basically endless loop while writing so even though it’s Baldurs Gate [Down By The River composed by Borislav Slavov] always makes me think of her LOL… Solkmyna gets slightly more associated with [How The Tide Rushes In by Anne Dudley] Jojoha doesn’t have a particular soundscape yet because it overlaps with Levraut regularly😅 (at least in terms of; the Dreadnaughts, which is one of the bands I listen to for him lmao.)

Colette is my monster hunter/Ffxiv cross oc and while I haven’t really given her a whole lotta thought I think [I Want It All by Arctic Monkeys] could definitely fit her vibe, lol. She’s someone else on my to-do for music thoughts, just a little further down the line from Ishi and Mochi uvu;

Bonus!!! If you were wondering [Love Like You from Steven Universe] makes me think of Tuesday/Haurchefant. :’)

I hope you enjoy the music 🫶 lord knows there’s a bunch of it SHFJRJFEKCKSKXKA hopefully the color/bolding isn’t obnoxious, it makes it easier for my eyes to not glaze over if there’s variation lmao

[bloomfish]

I am NOT endorsing or promoting the use of any recreational drugs. Do NOT do drugs, they are bad. Anyway here's why I think ketamine is great

So a pretty common thing I've noticed among casual drug users is that they very often are for some reason TERRIFIED of ketamine. And this includes people who have done like, Ayahuasca or peyote which I personally am extremely apprehensive about. And I don't get it! I think K is a misunderstood old thing :(

Obviously it's not something I would recommend to anyone without experience of psychodelics. However I think even people who do have experience with psychodelics might have had negative experiences with ket simply because they don't know what to expect going in so they're caught off guard. It's NOT a psychodelic and it shouldn't be treated like one. It's NOT a party drug and it shouldn't be treated like one (at least not until you're used to it). It's a dissociative, which can be unfamiliar. But I sincerely find it like... Mild compared to acid?

I think it's about a) being careful with portions. People who are used to railing massive lines of blow assume that they can handle that with ket and rly to start you should be doing the tiniest bumps possible, you do not want to be trying for a K-Hole at first (I never do in general bc i like consciousness). You build tolerance very fast but always err on the side of less. Whatever you think you can handle, take some off.

b) creating the right environment. As I said, it's not a party drug. It's for chilling on the sofa with your favourite music and a good friend. Take all pressure off and make sure there's nothing you need to actually do. Don't combine it with any other drug (ESPECIALLY not acid!!!!)

c) having the right mindset going in. Two things about this, first the effects of ketamine are over fast. It always passes after a short while, and if you're aware of that you can relax and know you'll be okay because even if you don't like it you'll be fine soon, so you might as well just try and enjoy what you can. Second, as with any drug anxiety and overthinking will make it worse- typically in a situation where you feel like you're losing control I'd suggest trying to relax and find something pleasant about the sensation to focus on until you ride it out. That's why you should make absolutely sure you're in a position where nothing can happen to you except being conked out on the sofa for a while.

All this being said, what ARE the benefits? She's a weird one for sure, as I said it's a dissociative– this means that you kind of feel like you're outside your body. At higher doses people see their body from the ceiling and stuff but I don't think it's necessary to get to that level. At lower doses it's just floaty. Like with psychodelics music can sound like the best thing ever and conversations can be super deep/hilarious in a way that makes 0 sense later. Things, especially your body, can feel really cool and the way you see the world is just weird and different and interesting. I've tried a fair amount of "mainstream" drugs and the best/most enjoyable highs I've had have been with ketamine by far.

An interesting thing about ketamine is that there's not really any comedown nor hangover– unlike something like mdma you don't go through days of depression afterwards. Actually it's kind of the opposite, you can actually feel better about life and the world afterwards. The reason for this in my non-scientific opinion is that being momentarily detached from your body gives you a weird kind of outside perspective on life? And then when you're back on earth things just look different. It's honestly been helpful to me for processing specific things on occasion.

Obviously this is a recreational drug, not a cure for depression nor a long term emotional crutch and there ARE risks just like with any substance. I mentioned that you build tolerance quickly– for me this was an incentive to use infrequently because otherwise you start needing bigger doses to achieve the same effects. That doesn't mean it's impossible to create a dependency or that there might not be risks. Like anything, it's about being careful and safe and knowing your personal limits.

I am also not saying that everyone should go out and try ket. Certainly I would not recommend it to the average Tumblr user. I merely think that she's underrated and could potentially be enjoyed (in a responsible way 🥴) by people who have experience with and know they can handle LSD or shrooms or similar (NOT AT THE SAME TIME. DONT COMBINE KETAMINE AND LSD LOL u probably won't die but it won't be fun 😭). I think if you're used to the feeling of surrendering control for a while and Ur reasonable about dosage it's really like... much less extreme than acid. And can be rly rly fun especially with friends but it can also be nice alone!

[foulbearobservation]

since you’re the camlilith blogTM, do you have camlilith fic recs?

me: oh I don't think I'm the gateway to camilith shipping

y'all: so as The Camilith Blog™...

anyway yes I do have fic recs gather round children, I've delved into the depths of the tag and emerged with the best of the best

let's start with casper's (@daisychainsandbowties) fics and then go from there!

by such slight ligaments are we bound: god like truly this is THEE Camilith fic of all time for me like. you all don't understand. lilith is so fucked up. camila touches her so tenderly. lilith gets her hair washed. she bleeds all over the fucking place. she completely disassociates. she bleeds all over the fucking place some more. she's gods specialest little soldier. she's gods most beloathed nun. she's my little guy.

thus strangely are our souls constructed: listen. listen. this is the rat fic. I hold it close to my heart. I adore it. Lilith's having a breakdown in a sporting goods store. she's bleeding out with beatrice in a hallway. they're in love. they don't realize they're in love. they're also not in love. it's a lot. lilith is a little in love with every woman who shows her any kindness. I can't wait to see where this one goes

a light, a blessing, or a bruise: the dishonored au!!!! dishonored au my beloved! (not a fic but check out whale's dishonored art pieces here & here & here they make me feel insane) this fic actually got me to start playing dishonored and the world is. so interesting. the way casper has translated the characters is FASCINATING. great fic I fucking love it.

okay that's all of casper's fics now let's go to some others shall we?

The bestie @thats-a-weird-warning-sign wrote Tenderness to you is only talk about a bruise which is just. so good. I truly don't know what else I need to say about it. lilith's brain melts out of her ears because of camila's strap. There's healing from trauma. there's more sex. listen. we all read the tags we all knew what we were getting into.

Shroomyystar on ao3 (I think they're @cranechel on here?) has some bangers. most of these are rated M or E, for good reason. they're darker or they're just abt sex so your mileage may vary based on what you want to read but they're all tagged appropriately!

like real people do: lilith asks camila to kill her and it's sweeter than you think, I promise.

light pink sky up on the roof: lilith kneels.

one bite of salvation in the dark: lilith kneels and also eats cami out.

there's also serenity which is a rly cute little fic abt camila just staring at lilith and I think it's very sweet we get this view of them cause I feel like lilith is the more common pov character

some other one offs!

Worship her sooner is my bestie Em who texted me one day like "do you think ao3 has a tag for sexy latin usage" and refused to elaborate.

The whole series of 1 Peter 4:8 is very good. this was before season 2 came out, and I'll just link the first fic here it's SO GOOD. Go comment and show some love to these fics, they're older so I don't think they got the attention they deserved.

golden hour is an avatrice fic HOWEVER it's set at camilith's wedding and the way ava just describes lilith as scary and whipped is truly so funny to me

And that's about all I have I think? I probably forgot something, and I'm very picky with fics to begin with so. If you think I missed something, add it in the comments!

[quirkle2]

Any head canons about Zombie Mob and after he's cured?

hrrmmmmm still kinda changin little things around for how zombies work in general bc im indecisive but im gonna use this ask as an excuse to talk abt How He Works

the other day i was thinkin abt his protectiveness over ritsu, and how it only reaches so far before it makes a full stop. it Would seem like he'd be alarmed at ritsu being hurt in any capacity, but that's not always the case. rly, it depends entirely on how ritsu reacts to the injury

remember, zombies don't have a good grasp on past events beyond their turning—a lot of them can remember faces and names and basic concepts but most things are lost in the froth. since zombies don't feel pain and therefore do not feel the consequences of an injury, their association with things like blood and seeing open wounds is not negative—why would it be, when they've experienced nothing negative from them? it is simply a Neutral Thing in their eyes

however, zombies are still human, and when healthy humans are hurt, they usually scream or cry or Something. hearing another human yell in pain is often a little harrowing, and on pure instinct zombies will sometimes flock to this noise in a very innocent mindset of wanting to aid. the thought process of hungry zombies hearing that is a little different, and they will prolly try to eat whatever is vulnerable and hurting. zombies that aren't hungry atm tho will simply wanna check it out

hearing ritsu scream will trigger that protective instinct in mob. seeing his brother's arm torn to shreds tho? Only if he's actively acting distressed. if ritsu got a gash in his leg but he's toughing it out even as it seeps blood, mob will simply just.stare. right at the open wound. and be Unbothered. he doesn't quite understand anymore that a hole in ur flesh is painful—he does understand pained sounds, tho

if ritsu is actively upset for other reasons aka the 17 mental illnesses he's developed mob will start getting antsy. u ever heard of animals actin weird before a big storm rolls in? kinda like that. he's distressed that his brother is distressed and he doesn't rly know how to make it better, so he just starts shuffling his feet and acting like he doesn't know where to go next. he also tends to plop his head down on ritsu's shoulder like i've mentioned (i think) and it's a 50/50 chance on whether that makes it any better

on the subject of his constant exhaustion, when ritsu finally does get mob to fall sleep he is Out and Unmoving and his body is so desperate for energy that he doesn't wake up for the next 21 fucking hours or more. ritsu actually regularly gets worried abt how long he sleeps. he's simply resigned himself to being 40% more stressed during his naps

zombie mob also loves water ! another remnant of Before—they had a stream in their backyard before everything went to shit and they had to leave, and mob Loved that thing. he'd sit in the backyard and listen to the sound of the water trickling for hours. nowadays, if they find any sort of stream or source of flowing water, it's very hard to get mob to leave. he loves listening to it and if it's coming from above and splashing to the ground he'll stand in the stream and be the most content zombie that ever lived. unfortunately he's also wet now. sorry ritsu

hrrmmmmm vaguely related to the first thing... mob is a bit like a cat that keeps knocking shit over when it comes to sneaking around settlement patrols. ritsu does his absolute best to steer clear of patrols by a long shot in general, but sometimes it's necessary to squeeze past one. normal mob is quiet and his steps are soft and while he's not the most graceful he's not a walking hazard—zombie mob is tho <3

he doesn't rly Understand that the goal is to not be seen and these people have guns and those guns can hashtag kill you to death, and ritsu can only do so much to "tell" mob to be quiet. he doesn't understand any of the hand signals he gives him, any of the Shush gestures, and mob is absolutely fascinated by this vase—oh it broke. oh neat, footsteps and yelling that's fun

most of the time they get by unscathed.but sometimes mob will do the worst possible thing at the worst possible moment and those r the times ritsu gets truly and genuinely frustrated w him. poor guy can't help it he's a zombie.ritsu knows this .he pushes on

in regards to patrols, actually, it's interesting to think about how zombies Learn. they,, seemingly don't. a lot of the times, the consequences of something bad they do is either pain, or death, and since they don't feel pain ... well u can't exactly learn from that. a lot of the times, zombies will keep doing one thing over and over again, even if it's actively killing them, until they die from it

zombies are attracted to noises and smells, so it stands to reason that mob might be inclined to walk right up to a patrol car. there's people here ! let's check it out. and zombies do this all the time. all a patrol car has to do, rly, is keep its engine running, and zombies within earshot of it will flock and then get killed

mob, interestingly, is in a position to Learn as a zombie. not many zombies keep their lives after running into a patrol car, but mob has protection, and people looking after him. mob has walked away from patrol cars w his life many times. and i think he starts to understand that they're dangerous once ritsu gets hurt

it takes a couple rounds of it to get it through his head, but the next patrol car he sees and considers venturing to, he thinks about what happened last time this occurred—the screaming from ritsu, mainly—and he stops. if mob were suddenly alone, and ritsu was gone, he'd surely walk right up to that patrol car and get shot in the head for it. it's not like he'll feel it. but ritsu is with him, and he doesn't want his little brother to scream like that again, so he decides not to, and lets himself get led away from the car

tome notes this change in behavior w Great interest and ritsu is honestly just glad he'll now experience approximately 3 less heart attacks per month

[joelsfavouritegirl]

Can you tell us about your headcanon about joel being a ladies man? My headcanons are different from yours and I wanna know your thought process plsplsplsplsssss

hiiiii, first off tysm for the submission!! love all the asks i’m getting these days, ya’ll r makin my days brighter n shit😭😭🫶🏼🫶🏼 i’d love to see some of your headcanons if you’re willing to share em!!!

anyways here u go, hope i’m not offending anyone😭😭 this is js the way that i see pre-outbreak!joel, it’s ofc cool if you see him some other way!!

pre-outbreak!joel and why i think he is (was) one fine hunk of a ladies’ man<333

first off i’ve always thought of joel as a rly charming boy. he was the typa kid your aunt’s or grandma would fawn over at the family gathering, how handsome he is, how sweet he is, how he’s sure to be a real heartbreaker (must’ve pissed tommy off sm, i can imagine the look on his face)

however i don’t think that joel was a heartbreaker (like EVER), he talks a big game and shit but underneath the teasing exterior he’s secretly glancing at his crush every now and then watching to see if she’s watching (boy was smitten)

after sarah came along and after his wife left he probably had a few years of nothing but baby clothes and trying to juggle parenthood with bills and the fun shit. if i had to guess man probably didn’t have a good fuck in three-four years ngl

as sarah got older i’d say that’s when he started mingling more (said this already but it was with GREAT help from tommy that he managed to finally go out to a bar and have some fun)

i feel like he’d just have that charm y’know? handsome and sweet, not pushing any boundaries yet sending subtle hints when he sees that he can (+THAT ACCENTTTTT). yeah it probably took him a couple times to figure out how and what to do, but i picture young joel as a very socially intelligent person (is that weird??? just me??) so i feel like it wouldn’t have been too difficult for him to get a girl’s number every once in a while

but i don’t think he took it farther than that. maybe he had a few flings but nothing serious, would always have to let the poor woman down after he sees that he can’t take it anymore (wait did i say that he wasn’t a heartbreaker before) it wasn’t because he had nothing better to do, instead he had too much; his little baby girl whom he didn’t want to hurt, a stressful job (plus he probably thought he wasn’t really good enough for any of em)

conclusion: joel’s a good communicator and respects boundaries and could’ve gotten hella more pussy if he wanted to😙😙

[saltbind]

tag game!!

tagged by the lovely @serpentmessmer

Do you make your bed? i will just kinda nudge the sheets back into place but its mostly for my cat. i ain't tryin' too hard tho i do not spend much time out of my bed in the first place

What's your favorite number? 7, 13, 23, Good Numbers

What is your job? i relay calls for folks who are deaf/hard of hearing/have speech issues

If you could go back to school, would you? if it was free i absolutely would i love learning. alas

Can you parallel park? bruh i cannot even drive yet. i'm. working on it

A job you had that would surprise people? i don't think any of my jobs would surprise anyone, it's all retail, hospo, admin and call centre stuff. nothing weird in there really. oh, i worked at a non-emergency police call centre once for a month. it was terrible

Do you think aliens are real? yes, but considering i have a phobia of them i would like them to stay far away til i work through that shit

Can you drive a manual car? i cannot drive any car :)

What's your guilty pleasure? i try not to feel guilty abt pleasure as my prev mutuals have said, but i do feel indulgent when i get to have a nice long bath (no bath in current unit so it's a hotels only kinda thing rn)

Tattoos? one so far and many planned. however i will have to get my one covered up bc it's to do with Magical Children's Series Whose Author Turned Out To Be Shit, and as i am trans i don't rly want it on my skin anymore lmao

Favorite color? phthalo green!

Favorite type of music? when i was younger i was a biiiiig metalhead and i am still very fond of it, but now i'm into darker sounding stuff with fun synths and basslines. spotify says dark pop and alt z is what i listen to a lot of, idk about that but it sounds correct

Do you like puzzles? i adore puzzles. i love escape rooms especially

Any phobias? just aliens rly but jokes on you if you send me any to freak me out bc i'm desensitizing anyway

Favorite childhood sport? the Autism means my hand-eye co-ordination has been shithouse my entire life, however i did martial arts for a while and started when I was like 12. so i'm counting that bc it was v fun. i was also surprisingly good at dodgeball, possibly bc being shit at sports meant i was dodging balls in all the other sports too

Do you talk to yourself? not out loud a lot but internally yeah i got a dialogue. out loud is reserved for my cat

What movies do you adore? i like horror movies and movies with whatever actor i'm fixated on. idk i don't know if i adore movies so much as they get hooked inside my brain until i've watched them enough to recite them. the movies that i have been moved by i usually only watch once and that's a different kinda love. i have movies i'm married to (inception, deepwater horizon, etc) and movies that are (as stephen king would say) a kiss in the dark from a stranger (donnie darko, the lovely bones, million dollar baby, etc)

Coffee or tea? tea 100% the smell of coffee makes me nauseous

First thing you wanted to be when you grew up? as a baby baby i wanted to me a marine biologist, then a herpetologist, then a drama teacher who was also an author, then an actor, etc. this was all before age 10.

tagging @monstraduplicia @jellybracelet @hellhoundlair

[safetycar-restart]

Clingy Charles wanting to take showers with you is so cute. I was thinking as well about him getting really frustrated whenever he has to shave alone. From pictures it seems like he often has a smooth chest and legs, he rly likes the feeling but hates all the effort so much, it always takes so long and he feels really lonely. Maybe one time you notice he’s been showering for longer than usual and you go to check on him. He’s letting out little sobs after giving up on shaving, he’s given himself a couple of little cuts on his legs by accident and hates being alone for all that time, so he ended up just sitting on the side of the bath all frustrated. You go to comfort your poor baby and ask what happened. When he explains how much he hates shaving, you offer to do it for him and Charles just completely lights up. Now it becomes standard in your relationship and Charles loves the intimatacy of it. Sometimes you even shave his face, Charles loves how he can just trust you with anything, all he has to do is sit still and be a good boy. You even try waxing with him, but you have to hold his hand throughout so he can squeeze it when it stings.

(Maybe with poly!Piarles it’s Pierre’s job afterwards to put lotion and body cream all over Bunny while you clean up in the bathroom. You just kind of deliver him to Pierre after you’re done.)

OH GOD I ADORE THIS?? I feel like it’s been a while since we’ve done a really fluffy non sexual poly!piarles thought, so I’m gonna make this poly!piarles right from the start. It’s so so cute I love it.

Firstly, Charles loves feeling all nice and smooth. You and Pierre would NEVER force him to shave, but he loves it and he’s been doing it since long before he got with you and Pierre.

The first time he slept with you two, he spent HOURS shaving before, making sure everything was perfect and he was so proud of how well he managed. He’s always prided himself on it.

The issue, however, is that you and Pierre see Charles naked so much more than any of his previous partners. He’s never gotten fucked as often before, has never been as endlessly horny. And more than that, he just loves skin on skin cuddles? He always used to shy about that with other partners but he loses all shame with you and Pierre.

He’ll wriggle into bed completely naked and slip his hand in r Pierre’s boxers, whining because there shouldn’t be any space between them!! Pierre will just chuckle and give bunny a kiss before removing his clothes for cuddles.

Obviously this is all amazing, but it also means that Charles has to shave himself a lot more then he’s ever had to before? Even when he doesn’t have sex for a week, he’ll still end up cuddled up with his mommy and his Pierre without any clothes, cause he just loves it so much.

And he just… he hates shaving. He hates it so so much.

Especially when you and Pierre are there? Cause why on earth would be want to be holed up in the bathroom shaving for an hour when he knows his mommy and his Pierre are in the living room?

And he’s always had this weird thing where he doesn’t want you and Pierre to realise how much effort he puts into shaving? Which is ridiculous but he still tries.

But then one time you and Pierre are cuddling on the couch, waiting for Charles to finish showering so that you three can start some new ridiculous drama series charles has been wanting to try. But he’s taking way longer than usual so you decide to go check on him.

And what you find breaks your heart.

Your sweet little bunny sitting at the edge of the bath, his razed in his hand and tears in his eyes. He’s just so sad! He wanted to finish shaving and get cuddles but it’s taking so long and he tried to hurry and ended up nicking himself and now he’s so sad. He feels like such a failure, like he can’t even manage to make himself look nice for his mommy and his Pierre.

He’s so sad when he admits to you that he hates shaving, like somehow he’s a bad sub. Of course you kneel down and kiss him sweetly, wiping his tears away and reminding him that he never has to shave for you and Pierre. That you and Pierre will take him exactly as he is, would never expect him to shave, especially not if it makes him this upset.

But he shakes his head. He doesn’t want that!!

So then you offer if you can help him shave, and he looks at you in disbelief. You would… you would help? His mommy would help him shave??

His whole fade lights up!! That’s everything!!

So quickly run to the living room to tell Pierre what you’re doing, and of course Pierre offers to come help too. He’s equally as upset at the image of Charles crying in the bathroom, even though he didn’t actively see it himself.

But you shake your head. You’re worried about overwhelming Charles. So Pierre says he’ll be waiting in the bedroom to put lotion on him afterwards.

Charles is just so happy as you shave him. His mommy is helping!! You’re so gentle with him of course, making sure to not cut him by accident, taking care to use warm water so that it feels nice and letting bunny babble on about his day while you do it. He’s so smiley, just in awe that he’s lucky enough to have this.

Once you’re all done and you’ve wiped him down, he starts to help you tidy up but you stop him. He’s a good little bunny and good bunnies don’t need to help you clean up. Instead, you tell him to go to the bedroom because Pierre is waiting for him.

Charles is a little confused, but he goes (completely naked of course because he just got shaved and he wants to show it off). He’s so surprised to find his Pierre sitting on the bed with two different types of lotion out, one scented and one in scented.

He tells Charles that you helped him shave and now he’s going to put lotion on for him so he must just come lay done and let Pierre do it. Naturally, little bunny just bursts into tears because this is simply too much soft attention in too short a time for him to not start sobbing.

Pierre used the scented lotion on his arms, legs and chest, and then the unscented lotion on his public area. Of course charles becomes a complete mess as Pierre does this, becoming increasingly horny and whiney. By the time Pierre is doing his public area, he’s having to hold Charles’s cock out the way because he’s hard and leaking.

You finish cleaning up and join them in the bedroom just as Pierre is finishing up, and are greeted with the the image if Charles whining and squirming, cock hard in Pierre’s hand as he finishes with the lotion.

Naturally you have to join them on bed, letting Charles settle between your legs and letting Pierre have his fun with Charles’s cock.

It becomes a weekly tradition that Charles loves so much.

[061801]

Ok so I wasn’t gunna do a lot of typing but I really feel some type of way about the guy I’m kinda seeing. We’ve been friends for a long time and I’ve seen him do things to others so I know how he is. I’ve never taken him seriously because of it. But that was years ago and I guess I trusted him because he is a very honest person and admits random things to me that most people wouldn’t so idk I do feel like he is genuine for the most part. However we just live 2 totally different kind of lives, we’re over 10 years apart. I am honestly convinced he thinks I am so naive and vulnerable that he expects me to just say yes and nod my head and follow whatever he says. Even though he says he’s trying not to control me and he knows I can do whatever I want; he throws in side comments like “girls who do that have no lives, girls that do that will never get a bf” etc “but if that’s what u wanna do I’m not gunna stop u” and when I get pressed he’s like ur choosing to be offended like ya im trying to find a career and the guy I like sounds like he’s insinuating that that’s how ill end up. Even tho he’s not specifically saying those words I am not gunna sit here and act dumb and say that’s not how he is predicting id turn out if I worked certain jobs.

Anyway that’s just one other argument we get into. The second most recent one wasn’t really his fault. I woke up and he wasn’t in bed next to me and he had told me before he would go up to the couch and text his ex when he was with his other ex and I’m not really the type of girl to sit here like a fool over it I’ll fuckin leave so I unfortunately figured that was what he was doing cuz I didn’t have sex with him the night prior and I went home at like 5 am. It wasn’t dramatic I didn’t argue with him I just left and he woke up and heard me. He ended things with me cuz he apparently wants to work on his religion and end up marrying another woman; that’s a whole other fucking thing. We’ve always been fwb but it’s been more serious lately and I thought maybe he’d lean away from that option but he’s still planning on it so I argue with him like wtf am I here for just to fill the void??? What’s the point and he’s like just enjoy it while it lasts. I guess but I don’t wanna waste time with someone who isn’t even gunna wife me. Anyway he said he missed me after almost a week and he wanted to see me so we hung out all that. I went to my home town with my friend and for no reason he goes i think I’m in between something here I’m weirded out. And I’m like literally what makes u think ur in between something and he’s like he (my friend) wants u so bad he’s ur sugar daddy and I know that’s what u want. Another back handed fucking comment. The way I talk about girls who have sugar daddies and don’t work is negative and he talks about them the same way. So for him to refer me as one of those girls and saying I wanna be like that is insane. And he’s like whattttt I just want you to be happy so I want you to have what makes you happy how am I being a bad guy !??!?!?! Like you’re fucking saying I’d be happy mooching off someone which i have never fucking said i would actually do. The fact you look at me that way is crazy. And he’s like ur the one taking offence that’s not my fault like buddy if I sit here and say I know u only rly get with average girls…. Whattttt I know u like average girls so that’s just what u dooooooo like fuck out of here u know what ur saying is back handed and I fucking can’t stand people who play like they aren’t. They know what they’re doing. So when I start getting all riled up about it first of all he said he was just asking if he was in the way, he didn’t ask. He said HE FELT like he was. He was basically saying that is his opinion. I’m having a good time 3 hours away and you want to basically start up some debate about how you think you are and how I explain to you for the 7th time that you’re wrong. If you feel that way then leave, secondly if I wasn’t someone ur just gunna leave as soon as u find what u need in life then I would go out of my way to make sure you don’t feel like ur in between something but I can’t take it that serious. He always says we’re not together but you’re my girl and I used to love that but like nah u don’t like when I do certain things but u don’t wanna stay with me so why am I obeying someone who’s gunna leave me lol. He says if I don’t listen to him then my life’s gunna spiral down. I need to prove to this guy that he’s wrong. So after he makes me mad cuz he knows what he’s doing and just refuses to admit it; he says you exploded and u need to enjoy ur trip. Why u wanna spend ur trip mad? BITCH I DONT U FUXKING WANTED TO START AND I EXPLAINED MYSELF CUZ U GOT ME FUCKED UP AND NOW U JUST WANNA GHOST THE SITUATION AS IF U DIDNT FUCKIN STIR THE POT like bye bye bye bye bye

[skitskatdacat63]

💙💜👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 for the oc ask? I wanna know about the worldbuilding

Hellooo sorry for this taking a bit, I had to think! Tysm for the ask!! Again, i'll go with Eclipse lol. These were pretty complicated and a little dark, so I put them under the cut

💙 — does your oc have any cool/special powers and/or abilities? how are they with magic, if it exists in their world?

I guess you could say there's magic in my au but it's more the inherent ability of gods, so Eclipse rly has nothing to do with that. However I'd say that she does have some abilities. She was blinded in one eye so since then she really has to compensate with her other senses. She's from a "pedigree" family, which is something she really resents for many reasons, but she can't deny it's made her able to compensate better, because she's predisposed to being agile, adept and quick thinking, among many other things.

💜 — what is your oc's ancestry/genetic background?

She is mixed Japanese-Chinese-Korean. She is mixed Pluto-Neptune, a fox and a cat(I had a poll the other day with planets, here to explain!) However her mother is Japanese and from Neptune, so I guess you'd say she has higher percentages of that ancestry!

👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 — how many people are in your oc's immediate family? how many people are in your oc's extended family? do they have aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, etc? who in their family are they closest with? are they close with their birth family, or do they have a found family?

She has two sisters and she is the youngest! Her family situation is very weird. Every generation has a matriarch and produces an female heir with a family selected partner from Japan, China and South Korea. All the kids(with their respective parent) all compete, not directly, to become the next matriarch. Since she's the youngest, she already had the least chance of becoming matriarch, and since a young age showed a lot of resentment of the system and the formality, as well as being pretty mentally ill. This caused her primary mother to resent and abuse her because she pretty much gave up all hope in Eclipse since a pretty young age. Her mother basically put all of her hopes and dreams into Eclipse before she was even born, and then soon came to see Eclipse as ruining her life. Eclipse's other mother is somewhat well-meaning but incredibly aloof/oblivious to Eclipse's plight and ended up focusing a lot of energy into her first born, Ember, from the start. Here is a family tree if it's a bit confusing.

She is estranged from both her mothers, but for different reasons. She was never really close with the matriarch just due to bad luck, but is estranged from her other mother because any hopes for a good relationship were pretty much destroyed from a young age. She has not really directly talked to her since she was barely 18 when the big thing happened.

However, she has a bit more of a complicated relationship with her sisters, Echo and Ember(they're all nicknames technically okay.) She'd always been close with Echo, because as previously stated, they both really never had any chance at becoming matriarch and did not really want to anyways. Ember is extremely kind and friendly but due to the family situation, she always felt like a very distant and lofty figure to Eclipse and Eclipse couldn't help but resent her, so they never really got close, even though Ember wanted to. She has a lot of trouble connecting to Echo after she was disowned though, because any connection to her family makes her feel bitter and on edge, and she doesn't like that Echo is still close with them all. Both sisters think she is missing or dead for a while but cannot really do anything about it. Eclipse avoids Ember at all cost when she eventually starts visiting Echo again, because Ember to her represents the worst part about their family(the whole succession system.) It takes a while for her to get close with either of them

Her found family, if you'd even call it that, is her girlfriend Noir, and Noir's close friends and family. She eventually gets close with her sisters , but her relationship with them isn't comparable to how much she trusts Noir. Even if Noir and her have a very complicated, tumultuous relationship, that deep trust is at the center of it. She reliably knows Noir likes her for she truly is and there's no powergrab involved. She does not really like the idea of family at all, because family to her is just a corrupt power structure that pits everyone against each other. I think she'd be very hard pressed to admit anyone being family to her, because she has her own concept of closeness. She is very solitary, so her letting anyone in and being close with anyone is pretty shocking. Noir is a family person so she definitely has a big influence on Eclipse in that way, but it takes a long while. Eclipse is basically a pedigree house cat that became a stray and then has to be lured in to being domestic again.

[lebakasmadl]

Murder on the Orient Express

by Agatha Christie

a book review

(!Spoilers! duh)

Last week I read “Murder on the Orient Express”. The language used is quite simple and straight forward, not much energy is wasted on describing meaningless details. This in itself is not a big deal, however it is quite telling if a detail is mentioned, because then you rightfully would assume that it is a puzzle piece necessary to solve the murder. This does make it much more obvious and less fun to solve the mystery (which wasn’t rly possible anyway but oh well).

Let’s set the scene:

The Orient Express is filled to the brim with passengers during a cold winter night. An intense snow storm forces the train to stop dead in its tracks. In the morning, the train still not having moved, a body is discovered. Who could have done it? Fortunately Hercule Poirot, a skilled detective, is also on board and gets asked to take the case.

Here arises the first problem for me:

HERCULE POIROT

(I will admit, that this was the first book of Poirot I have ever read, so I wasn’t quite sure what to expect from him as a character)

I don’t want to lie, I did expect kind of a french Sherlock Holmes (Omg the French don’t get me started on that) However it is not exactly what Poirot is. He didn’t rly impress with crazy combination or observation skills. To me it felt as tho he was just quite good at guessing and got lucky a lot? Like A LOT. Plus he admitted that himself? Personally I would have preferred to look into his mind a little more, it would have made the whole thing much more interesting. It was a guessing game, however reading about how he concluded what to guess might have been more entertaining, especially considering that the reader was not privy to crucial information.

The only thing rly making him stand out knowledgewise was the trick that made the writing on the letter reappear. However that whole thing drove me up a tree anyway, since it was just a tad bit too much luck for my taste that he was able to recover a full name, which happened to be the main clue for why the victim was murdered. Also also him assuming Mr. Ratchetts real identity from just the name on the letter did not feel coherent to me. Like oh this man has a weird vibe to him and there is the name of a murdered girl on a letter in his room, he HAS TO BE a serial child killer. (???)

Sexism and weird nationality stuff?

When the body is discovered with 12 stab wounds to some men on the train the case seems to be nearly solved. It must have been a woman! Obviously only women get emotional enough to murder someone with more stabs than necessary. Men no emotion, men never emotion, emotion girly stuff. Except if u are italian than it might have been u since it “fits your southern temper”??? But do not worry, everyone in this book gets their fair share of prejudice and stereotype! I do understand it was a different time when the book was released, but unfortunately these parts aged like milk.

Who did it?

Sooo huge SPOILER: It was everyone on the train!

Midway thru the book I did think to myself, well what if it was everyone? Wouldn’t that be cool? It wouldn’t. I dismissed that thought since I decided it would be too lazy from a writers perspective. Once everyone committed the crime, no one did. All of a sudden it doesn’t matter who was where at what time and what they saw or heard. It stops being about collecting clues and simply becomes about mashing a bunch of people together in the most random guessing game to give all of them the same goal. As a result the final revelation was quiet unsatisfactory.

The Plan

Twelve people had all decided to kill a man, bc he was the murderer of a little girl, Daisy Armstrong, which they all were connected to. (Thank god Poirot happened to know so much about that case that happened years ago) The connection usually being that they had previously worked for the family of the girl or being directly related to her. This is a point I personally do find weird. Some had quite believable motives, while it seemed that others went along bc Daisy was kind of a cute child? That wouldnt rly be enough for me but go off Agatha.

Their plan was pretty complicated. They would one by one sneak into the victims room and every person would stab him ONE time. That way, they claim, it “would not be possible to tell who’s strike was the actual final blow that killed him” (humbug). Then they made up a whole spiel about a woman in a red kimono and a guy dressed up as a train conductor, planted fake clues and gave each other alibis.

Of course it was in their best interest to keep the wagon to themselves. No outsiders, no witnesses. For that reason they paid for an compartment in the train, knowing they didn’t actually have another person to fill it with. If Poirot and his homie would not have come along, the wagon would have only carried twelve murderers and one victim. Meaning that this crazy game of dressing up would have been completely unnecessary??? They even stated that they practiced the whole thing on their way east, so that they could go through with it on the way back. But WHY this complicated plan, if they had actually planned not to be sharing the wagon? It seems to be too elaborate for them to have made it up on the spot, once they realized they would not be traveling alone. Plus another question that bothers me: Bc there were no more first class compartments left, Poirot actually shared a second class one with one of the killers (McQueen) for the first nights. How did they plan to avoid that? It could have been anyone in that second class room and they only got lucky bc Bouc moved to the other wagon once it became possible, so that Poirot could sleep in a First class compartment. What would they have done, if someone would have just stayed with Mr. McQueen in his bunk bed for the whole ride???

Conclusion

Why is this considered a classic?

Unfortunately I have to admit to not rly having liked this book so I can not recommend it. However if u haven’t read it yet, maybe go do so just so that we can have a chat about it. If u have already read it: Feel free to answer my questions and/or tell me about your opinion. I’ll be waiting.

All in all one round match out of twelve stab wounds

[kuiinncedes]

:P