#however I. rly do not like the first ones so it feels weird starting with those...

[wardingshout]

ALTTP december warm ups and doodling (and one from today, happy new year)

[felibrary]

LOVE IS AN OPEN DOOR - chuuya nakahara

synopsis: if you wouldn't know any better you'd think that chuuya nakahara doesn't take a liking to you - he loathes you. but what if one day you make a shocking discovery that it might be the opposite.

pairing: chuuya nakahara x gn!reader | wordcount: 1.2k | content & warnings: im at the first ep of s4, so if chuuya mischaracterized no need to wonder…, school au-ish kind of??, cursing (fuck), dazai teases chuuya for his crush, chuuyas kinda not rly good with his feelings and expressing himself, drinking (chuuya offering to go out and drink), dazai plays cupid/matchmaker

a/n: when i wrote this i didn't have 15 yo dazai or chuuya in mind (cause of the school au yk) just as them idk but interpret it however you like - high school or college wtv, im so obsessed with chuuya rn y'all don't even know, hope u guys enjoy this little thing i've whipped up in an hour

you're convinced that chuuya nakahara hates you.

that's one thing you're sure of. after all, he avoids you like the plague; however when the two of you do get in touch with one another, he starts cursing you out, calling you names such as “dumbass" and abruptly leaves.

yeah, you're pretty sure that that guy dislikes - if not despises you. although until now you've hadn’t had the slightest idea why. well, that was the case up until now.

some days have passed since you started noticing it. every time you hung out with dazai and started laughing a bit too loudly at his jokes or lightly slapped his shoulder, chuuya gave you a death stare - if you wouldnt know any better he looked like he’d grab your throat any minute to shut you up.

admittedly (and also embarrassedly) you never really noticed it until dazai has pointed it out. which, on one hand, explains the weird feeling you’ve recently gotten - it felt like someone was shooting daggers at the back of your head, luckily for you, that’s solved now.

but on the other hand, you still demand an explanation why chuuya would do that. is it simply because of his (one-sided) hatred towards you, that can’t be the case right? or did he have a huge crush on dazai, that’s the most realistic explanation that you can think of.

-

once school ended and the bell had just rung to release everyone from their classes and go back home. you’d usually scurry home right away, because there was no point in staying longer, after all who’d want to endure this hell house also known as school more than necessary, it's no use right?

well jokes on you, staying over time was definitely worth it. kunikida assigned you the task (forced) to carry a huge stack of boxes full of documents and paper to your homeroom teacher's room, because it was the “right” thing to do - well at least according to his ideals. 

“but what about dazai? that idiot  just ran off and is probably slacking off right now!” you protested, because it's not fair when everyone has a task to complete and someone else just gets to relax, right? 

at your complaint the blond could only scoff “i’ll scold him later, but for now let's just concentrate on the task in front of us, time is running out.���

-

that’s how you ended up here, back pressed against the heavy classroom door that separated you and the two guys that were inside the room as you tried to listen in into their conversation.

initially your plan was to find dazai, drag him by the collar of his white button up and beat his ass for skipping and leaving you alone with a ton of boxes that not only cost you ten minutes to carry around or so.

because neither kunikida or anyone else didn’t bother to tell you that there were three, fucking three, of those staples of boxes that were filled with countless papers.

however, it came to a change of plans upon hearing chuuyas’ voice. usually, any sound that was made inside of the classrooms was drowned out and barely audible to hear outside the room. 

this time, that didn’t seem to be the case though. chuuyas’ screaming and dazais' hysterical laughter were faint but loud enough to hear from outside the room. 

“come on chuuya, there's no need denying it, you have a massive crush on them.” dazais’ voice was laced with amusement as he started laughing out loud which seemed to piss the redhead off. 

you were able to hear a small huff that escaped dazais mouth. “chuuya, there’s really no need to start getting all violent, just admit that you’re absolutely whipped for them!” the brunette chuckled. “so stop kicking me in the balls!” that probably earned him another kick as you could hear dazai letting out a small “ouch.”

“shut up, shitty dazai.” the guy in question only snickered at that. “yeah, yeah. everyone’s able to tell that you’re madly in love with them. every time you’re around them you start to get beet red, the color even exceeds the one of your hair! a hilarious sight to look at, really.” 

you didn’t hear a response from chuuya and apparently neither did dazai so he just continued his rant. “also, let me tell you one thing, you’re not making it any better by cussing them out or intently staring at them, that’s just scary, man!” dazai closes his eyes and starts shaking his head before tutting in disappointment.

“oh chuuya. the brunette sighs, eyes still closed. “letting a beauty like them slip away this easily by not showing any proper interest. you’re to be pitied, really.” the male moves away from his previous position and bolts over to the door, crossing his arms as his back leans against the door.

an exasperated sigh leaves chuuyas mouth. “what do you expect me to do then? they probably have a horrible impression of me already. if i pull up with a bouquet of roses and some cliché pick up lines, they’d probably stare at me in horror, wondering if i got possessed or something.” he sneers at dazai. 

just who in the world are they talking about?

dazai pretends to think for a moment before snapping his fingers. “well for starters, how about greeting them, doesn’t even have to be verbal, just some waving or nodding. then start hanging out with them!”

“idiot! how's that supposed to work from just greeting each other!” the ginger scowls at dazai.

“hold your horses.” the brunette whistles. “i didn't say to rendez-vous and have a candle-light dinner. how about accepting those group invites first that you keep declining. then you’d have the chance to meet up with them more often and get to know them.”

dazai continues to advise chuuya by giving him tips and recommendations “try bonding over stuff with each other, like favorite shows or food. and if you’re not incapable of doing so, how about complimenting them. wouldn't hurt you know?” dazai shrugs in simplicity. 

chuuyas still skeptical “assumingly that was the case. the two of us attending the same party, they’re alone and i finally get the chance to approach them, what the fuck am i supposed to say?” dazai only smiles at chuuya, a look that says “that’s up to you.” 

“why not use me as your lab rat!” dazai suggests optimistically.

“no way in hell!” chuuya shoots back pessimistically.

after pondering and musing for a while, chuuya comes up with a curt sentence. “i find you really good looking and cool.” the redhead stops and both you and dazai await his continuation in anticipation. “wanna go out and grab drinks sometimes?” chuuya doesn’t look up from the floor which he’s been staring at for the past minute. the tips of his ears tinted in a vermillion red.

“well, that wasn't so hard was it?” dazai asks cheerily, clapping his hands together. “if you still have doubts, how about you try it on the real thing now?” and before you can realize what's going on dazai swiftly steps away from the door before grabbing the door handle and opens the door, revealing your figure to the two guys. 

you’re not sure who's more taken aback, you or chuuya.

© VYNICITY 2024. stealing, copying, translating, reposting my works on other platforms or feeding them to ai is not permitted.

e/n: as y’all can tell the title is inspired by frozen's love is an open door cause y’know dazai opens the door for chuuya to confess his feelings. does this make sense lol??

[joltai-showa]

I rly lov your long posts about Deidara specifically, but Im curious as to why (and maybe Ive just not read everything you've written) you mention Deidara as joining the Akatsuki at ages like 12-13? Because I feel like it's been pretty well stated that Deidara was recruited at 15. Which still, he's quite the prodigy, but iirc he was Sasori's partner of 4 years and canonically died at 19 which would mean he was 15 at the time of his recruitment, no?

Hi, anon, I did talk about it previously in reblogs to one of my posts (the one about Deidara and Obito prefering to hang upside down), but I'll explain it again.

Someone already commented that "it's been stated he was Sasori's partner for 4 years", however, when I asked for an actual reference to something in canon indicating that, I got no reply. My assumption is that this is some sort of popular headcanon in the fandom that's so deeply embedded into people's minds that at some point people just start saying that "oh, Deidara was partnered with Sasori for 4 years" even if nothing in canon is stated in regards to this. Again, if you manage to find a confirmation of this claim in canon, send it my way, I'm just stating that I did not see anything proving this to be true besides tumblr users saying so.

(and I do not consider anime to be canon, mostly because of the fact that they changed stuff from the manga to fit the endless fillers + taking stuff from anime means wrecking an already shaky timeline of Naruto world that exists purely off the fans' prayers and wishes + I never made myself watch the anime fully because I like to have other interests besides Naruto, so I am less familiar with it and looking for a single line confirming some fact in 600 something episodes of endless yapping and terrible pacing sounds like hell, so to me the only things that can serve as a proof are from the manga itself or the databooks, both of which were done by Kishimoto)

but back to Deidara's age at the time of recruitment - him being 12 is actually also a presumption of mine, but it's simply because of various factors. off the information available to me, we can not directly state that Deidara was exactly X years old when Akatsuki came for him, but we can get the range for his age.

Strictly speaking, the upper boundary for Deidara joining would be 16 years, and it's due to the last scene of OG Naruto where we see Akatsuki having a secret meeting with all of the members present. Deidara is undeniably there (the hairstyle and speech pattern of the member hanging from the ceiling matches his), so by that point he's already a full-fledged member of your local terrorist daycare. However, what is interesting about this scene is what Deidara says

(Viz's translation is being weird again, but as far as I remember, this is another case where in the original the subject of the sentence is omitted, so it actually should be something like "we'll finish off Orochimaru soon" and "will we be able to finish our tasks on time?")

in any case, what's curious about this scene is that Deidara seems to be fully aligned with Akatsuki's goals. This is not a boy who didn't want to join the organization because he wanted to do his art on his own and was forced to join after losing to one its members, this is a guy who is fully interested in whatever the hell Akatsuki had going on. So even if technically the upper limit for Deidara joing is 16, I would say that a reasonable boundary would be 15 - Deidara is far too comfortable in the organization during his first appearance to be a recent hire, so I'd say that he's been with the gang for at least a year.

Now onto the lower boundary for Deidara's age at the time of recruitment, and for this we'll need to use that scene itself

Again, because nothing is known regarding Deidara's time in Iwa (in the databooks some shinobi get their age when they became genin/chunin, however Deidara doesn't fall into this category either), so the estimates would have to come from the other three in the room, namely Sasori, Kisame and Itachi.

Sasori isn't really useful for this due to the fact that his nukenin career started an entire year before Deidara was even born (LMAO), Chiyo claims that Sasori returned 10 years later to kill the Third Kazekage (but I call bullshit on that, because this creates a plethora of timeline issues, so probably another Kishimoto moment), but none of that helps us with figuring out when Sasori got recruited, how long he spent in organization, etc etc.

Kisame's got even less information (except, you know, the times when he was doing the murder exam, and again, that was way before Deidara was even born), so not much use of him either.

However, Itachi has a lot more to go off. Obviously, if he is present in this scene as an Akatsuki member, this means that this takes place after the Uchiha massacre. And what we certainly know about it is that Itachi was 13 at the time. Itachi and Deidara have a 2 year age gap, meaning that the harshest lower boundary that can be imposed on Deidara in the recruitment scene is 11 (we can not go any lower, otherwise it's impossible for Itachi to be present).

That is if we assume that Itachi joined Akatsuki and immediately went to hunt for Deidara.

Which we know is not true, because the entire conflict with Orochimaru (who is Sasori's partner at the time) takes place. After the Uchiha massacre Itachi run away from Konoha, joined Akatsuki, got partnered with Kisame (off that flashback before Kisame's death it's not really clear who joined Akatsuki first, Itachi or Kisame, but nonetheless that scene had to have taken place before Deidara recruitment), had his conflict with Orochimaru, Orochimaru ditched Akatsuki, leaving Sasori without a partner, thus creating the need for replacement. And remember, Orochimaru did not return the ring after voluntarily resigning (without the organization's HR department's permission, of course), and again, these rings allow members to seal Tailed Beasts within Gedo Mazo, literally the most important thing about Akatsuki, so, in my opinion, some time would have to be spent by Akatsuki trying to (unsuccessfully) chase after Orochimaru and beat the shit out of him for stealing the company's property. All in all, some time would have to pass between Itachi joining and Deidara joining.

However, what speaks against this period of time being long is the way Akatsuki operate, which is pairing two people together. Sasori was left without a partner, and while I don't doubt that he is more than strong enough to do mass murder on his own, the suicide statistics in nukenins born in the Second Shinobi World War or soon after it speak for itself, so a replacement would need to be found fast, which is why I don't think the period between Itachi joining Akatsuki and Deidara meeting the gang would be longer than a year - can't leave Sasori hanging by himself, and nothing suggests that Sasori had other partners in between Orochimaru and Deidara, which is why I say the lowest age at which Deidara could have joined is 12.

So, to summarize, in the recruitment scene Deidara's age would be in [12; 15] range, if we are doing it with reasonable assumptions based off the canon interactions, but based off characters' presence alone it would be from 11 to 16.

However, there's more in regards to Deidara becoming a nukenin!

This moment here confirms that Deidara is already a terrorist by the time Akatsuki find him. He is not being stolen from Iwa, he has already run away and, moreover, he's been assisting insurgents for some time. And, what's important, he's doing it on his own, meaning that he had to work up a reputation for himself as a nukenin (otherwise insurgents wouldn't have worked with this random kid). Which implies that some time must have passed in between him leaving and meeting Akatsuki. Again, nothing concrete, but I wouldn't say that this period could have been less than a year, which means he would have been like 11-12 by the time he ditched Iwa.

Which is. Jesus. Even during the World Wars kids only become chunins by that point. I'm not even talking about the Naruto's "peaceful" generation.

And I remembred one final thing that also makes me believe that Deidara was younger than 15 during his recruitment, but it's a lot more shaky and biased. I'm talking about the way Kishimoto draws him in this scene

The main cast of Shippuden is exactly in this supposedly confirmed range (15-16 years old) for Deidara, however when I take Naruto/Sasuke/Sakura/etc etc, I just don't see Deidara being the same age as them in here. He looks younger, closer to them in OG Naruto than in Shippuden. Nonetheless, this is my personal opinion and perception, and Kishimoto is pretty inconsistent at drawing characters in their supposed age (probably because he himself has no idea how old his characters are in this or that scene, lmao), so that's the weakest argument I have for my position.

[karliahs]

fic writer interview!!

tysm @plusultraetc for the tag!! <3

How many works do you have on AO3?

50 exactly!

What's your total AO3 word count?

234,906, almost half of which (110k) was written/posted this year. insane!!

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

darken your door (12,832)

walk a mile (5642)

swan dive (4857)

rescue (3905)

something else to pretend (3,572)

there's a theme here and it's bnha fics i wrote in 2019/2020

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

yes!! with several asterisks i'll get into in a minute. i try to respond to every comment i get because:

i genuinely really appreciate that anyone takes the time to tell me they liked a fic when they could just consume it and say nothing with 0 consequences, so i want to say thank you

some comments have a rly big impact on me - change the way i feel about stuff, contain phrases i remember for a really long time, make me cry, etc - and just like how if someone writes a fic that impacts me then i want to tell them, i want to tell people how much their comment mattered

i often only figure out why i did something or made certain choices in a fic until someone prompts me to talk about it. it's such a useful exercise for understanding my own work better

i genuinely adore rambling about my fics, it's arguably more fun than writing them in the first place

it's really nice getting to chat to commenters and get to know people!

however. there is a 3-4 year period where i didn't reply to any comments at all because i got overwhelmed and then felt like it was too late to try and catch up. this still haunts me a little bit because i got some really lovely impactful comments in that era but it just feels too weird to reply literally like 5 years late 😭

2nd asterisk is some fics i feel kind of embarrassed about and so don't reply to comments on, 3rd is that i'm bad at managing my comments inbox so i'm sure i miss people out by accident sometimes, and 4th is that if i don't have anything nice to say then i won't respond...i get almost no comments i think are intentionally meant to be rude, but sometimes i get ones that rankle for one reason or another and i won't reply if i'm just gonna be tetchy bc again, i don't think they're meant badly

so very much a yes in theory but not in practice 😂

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

bargaining chips i think. the funny thing about that series is that in some ways i think things would ultimately turn out better than in canon (there's a reason the 2nd fic has akechi promise to contact ren if he does survive, a thing that would have paid off in the 3rd fic i never finished). but as of bargaining chips it's very much...this is the POV of a person who thinks the only power they have left in the world is to hurt people

What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

my usual ending is like bittersweet and/or hopeful, so for example i feel a lot of things about the cathertic (for me at least) endings for redux and something else to pretend and unwanted, but idk if they can exactly be called happy.

going to my pure silly fluff fics instead where we pretty much start happy and end happy: to work, to rest which ends with the gang being happy about stickers, or class pets which ends with class a getting three (3) cats

Do you write crossovers?

nope!

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

not really! probably the closest was someone commenting on pathologised with just "WHERE IS YUSUKE?" in all caps 🙄 "why isn't my fave dude in your fic" is not a genre of comment i enjoy, though it's usually phrased more politely than that at least

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

nope!

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not that i'm aware of, though it's apparently fairly rampant in bnha fandom with those "what if deku [x]" youtube videos. i think those are reserved for fics with actual plots though

Have you ever had a fic translated?

i think i've been asked for permission for people to do so before, but i don't think i've ever actually seen anything posted...someone did translate a little section of one fic into spanish in a bookmarker comment once, which was very fun because i remember little bits of spanish from school & years of sporadic duolingo

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

no but i think it would be so fun 👀

What's your all-time favorite ship?

mannnn i just cannot care about romantic ships the way that seems to be so ubiquitous in fandom. even when i try and write romance it ends up as like ambigious tenderness or Friendship With Vibes. the few times i've even written kissing it's been just a build up to a kiss after which the fic immediately fades to black, which is really funny in retrospect like...buddy, is that because you stop caring about what's happening once the kissing starts?

i am fond of erasermic, jontim and shindeku, though i enjoy them as platonic dynamics pretty much the same amount

What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

it mostly doesn't bother me to have tons of unfinished WIPs, i don't really put that expectation that everything i start will or should get finished/posted.

so the only one that genuinely bugs me is the third fic in seen and not heard, because i feel like i kind of promised it to people and then didn't deliver, and because it would have properly concluded a series i know a few people really connected with...and because the draft got to like 80% done but i could just never finish it off in a way i was happy with. maybe someday though

there's also a more recent bnha fic draft that i am really fond of in some ways, but i just could not take the discourse i think it would inspire. i might finish it just for me someday

What are your writing strengths?

cribbing all these from comments honestly but i think i'm pretty good at real-feeling emotional responses to situations. emotional realism, maybe? and writing introspection/people thinking and feeling things in general.

my characterisation gets complimented a fair bit, which is funny bc i think i actually take a lot of liberties with canon characters, but i guess i'm decent at couching those liberties in a way that makes it pass muster most of the time. like passing off a counterfeit watch as genuine

i'm somewhat good with grounding things in sensory detail, but that's one of those things i think i'll always be trying to get better at

What are your writing weaknesses?

i've never met a plot in my life and i don't want to. i also can't write longfic. in real-world terms i'm a short story writer and not a novelist - all those structural narrative things people do to make a long-form story work are just mystifying to me. part of that is just driven by what interests me though - i don't read a lot of plotty longfic either

i'm also still working on improving syntax and flow in my prose in general, but that's another one of those endless projects i think

oh also having more than two people in a prolonged dialogue scene is wildly difficult to me

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

i have no thoughts on this matter!

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

merlin! i wrote probably bad merlin fic on ff.net back when i was like 15/16. it's actually the reason i joined tumblr in the first place, bc my fave merlin fic writer had a tumblr and i got curious

What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to?

i'd like to write more about my silly little video game OCs. i've dabbled in it a bit before but i've never really invested in it because i know no one would read it/care. but i'm getting better at writing for myself and it is really fun to have records of these OCs that i love, so i hope i can write some stuff about the protag i make for new dragon age that i'll inevitably get deeply attached to

it's also kind of wild to me that i've never written for homestuck or dangan ronpa given the impact those two things had on my psyche

What's your favorite fic you've written?

my answer to this changes depending on the day but right now...something else to pretend my beloved

wow that got long. not tagging anyone but if you'd like to do it, consider yourself tagged!

[joelsfavouritegirl]

Can you tell us about your headcanon about joel being a ladies man? My headcanons are different from yours and I wanna know your thought process plsplsplsplsssss

hiiiii, first off tysm for the submission!! love all the asks i’m getting these days, ya’ll r makin my days brighter n shit😭😭🫶🏼🫶🏼 i’d love to see some of your headcanons if you’re willing to share em!!!

anyways here u go, hope i’m not offending anyone😭😭 this is js the way that i see pre-outbreak!joel, it’s ofc cool if you see him some other way!!

pre-outbreak!joel and why i think he is (was) one fine hunk of a ladies’ man<333

first off i’ve always thought of joel as a rly charming boy. he was the typa kid your aunt’s or grandma would fawn over at the family gathering, how handsome he is, how sweet he is, how he’s sure to be a real heartbreaker (must’ve pissed tommy off sm, i can imagine the look on his face)

however i don’t think that joel was a heartbreaker (like EVER), he talks a big game and shit but underneath the teasing exterior he’s secretly glancing at his crush every now and then watching to see if she’s watching (boy was smitten)

after sarah came along and after his wife left he probably had a few years of nothing but baby clothes and trying to juggle parenthood with bills and the fun shit. if i had to guess man probably didn’t have a good fuck in three-four years ngl

as sarah got older i’d say that’s when he started mingling more (said this already but it was with GREAT help from tommy that he managed to finally go out to a bar and have some fun)

i feel like he’d just have that charm y’know? handsome and sweet, not pushing any boundaries yet sending subtle hints when he sees that he can (+THAT ACCENTTTTT). yeah it probably took him a couple times to figure out how and what to do, but i picture young joel as a very socially intelligent person (is that weird??? just me??) so i feel like it wouldn’t have been too difficult for him to get a girl’s number every once in a while

but i don’t think he took it farther than that. maybe he had a few flings but nothing serious, would always have to let the poor woman down after he sees that he can’t take it anymore (wait did i say that he wasn’t a heartbreaker before) it wasn’t because he had nothing better to do, instead he had too much; his little baby girl whom he didn’t want to hurt, a stressful job (plus he probably thought he wasn’t really good enough for any of em)

conclusion: joel’s a good communicator and respects boundaries and could’ve gotten hella more pussy if he wanted to😙😙

[candycryptids]

Good morning (or good evening in your case I guess)! 🤭

Because you asked me about the theme songs: If you had to choose one for each of your OCs what would it be?

Goooood Morning! Or evening for you by now I think 🤔🥰 This’ll be easier for some than others B’3 (links will all be to YouTube videos hopefully!) thank you for the question this was a real thinker x3

So Levraut actually has a song we recently heard and went HOLY SHIT ITS LEV’S THEMESONG! Which would be [Creator, by Lena Raine] it has the mysterious suspense of the music box at the start, and then shifts into the cadence of something I associate with the Sea, which is something that sounds like Accordion ahaha (and then it further intensified with electric guitar, which isn’t usually in his soundscape, but it’s So Good)

[cut because… length again LOL]

For Tuesday I’d have to say my first choice is [Hello World, by Louie Zong] as far as songs that make me immediately associate with Tuesday lololol. The other song I have is [Waltz No. 2, Robot, by Hikaru Shirosu] it has, to me, the cadence of going shopping in a small market, but you’re still very ‘young’ in a sense, and small obstacles can feel like big obstacles 🫢 it’s also Piano, which is one of the instruments associated with Keathan! Who has a very heavy influence on Tuesday’s soundscape :3

For Chuusday…. Picking just one is rly hard… hm… it’s not on EITHER of her playlists I think, but [Home Beyond The Horizon by I think Masoyashi Soken and Daiki Ishikawa] Which is a song played on a crunchy, tinny radio. She’s not patriotic, but it was too large a part of her life for it to not have had some major impacts on her, lol. For a less/more serious song (???) I’d say [Hardware Store by Weird Al Yankovic]. It’s got. The vibe. LMAO.

Tangy is also hard to pin down, but I think [Fell In Love With A Girl, by White Stripes] does a pretty good job of suiting both the vibe and at least a Lil Bit the lyrics [because the first three lines remind me of Minfilia and Tangy :/ not that I ship them explicit romantic 100% of the time, but it coulda been. It coulda.]

🎤Fell in love with a girl

I fell in love once and almost completely

She's in love with the world🎵

Otherwise my other offering is When You Look At Her and it’s just playing [Cat Cafe by Tsundere Twintails] in her whole expression.

There’s not a particular song I can think of for Mochiie yet- I’ve been fighting that gorilla for a month or so now and I’m not much closer to victory yet, lmfao. However I do offer the song from [this post] because it reminds me Thavnair, so the real answer is I have a lot of music in Urdu I need to listen to and figure out his vibe LOL. I found the song in particular after scouring the notes though! Which is ->[Mehndi Laga Ke Rhakna, sung by Lata Mangeshkar and Udit Narayan] (I also need to figure out the influence the Azim Steppe had on him 🫢)

Ishi’li is… tricky. Cos I’m also still working on their playlist BDJDNFJDJFSK and the one song I’ve heard recently that made me think of him so so hard isn’t in the soundscape I’d set for them :T but. It’s rly Ishi.

[Like or Like Like by Miniature Tigers]

🎤I watched you get undressed

I must have turned bright red

'Cause I couldn't stand to face you

'Cause I liked what I saw

And maybe we should just be friends

Tell me how you feel about me

Do you like or like, like me?

Tell me what you really feel

Do you like me? Just say you do🎵

Swydghem actually has songs because I listened to a playlist on basically endless loop while writing so even though it’s Baldurs Gate [Down By The River composed by Borislav Slavov] always makes me think of her LOL… Solkmyna gets slightly more associated with [How The Tide Rushes In by Anne Dudley] Jojoha doesn’t have a particular soundscape yet because it overlaps with Levraut regularly😅 (at least in terms of; the Dreadnaughts, which is one of the bands I listen to for him lmao.)

Colette is my monster hunter/Ffxiv cross oc and while I haven’t really given her a whole lotta thought I think [I Want It All by Arctic Monkeys] could definitely fit her vibe, lol. She’s someone else on my to-do for music thoughts, just a little further down the line from Ishi and Mochi uvu;

Bonus!!! If you were wondering [Love Like You from Steven Universe] makes me think of Tuesday/Haurchefant. :’)

I hope you enjoy the music 🫶 lord knows there’s a bunch of it SHFJRJFEKCKSKXKA hopefully the color/bolding isn’t obnoxious, it makes it easier for my eyes to not glaze over if there’s variation lmao

[bloomfish]

I am NOT endorsing or promoting the use of any recreational drugs. Do NOT do drugs, they are bad. Anyway here's why I think ketamine is great

So a pretty common thing I've noticed among casual drug users is that they very often are for some reason TERRIFIED of ketamine. And this includes people who have done like, Ayahuasca or peyote which I personally am extremely apprehensive about. And I don't get it! I think K is a misunderstood old thing :(

Obviously it's not something I would recommend to anyone without experience of psychodelics. However I think even people who do have experience with psychodelics might have had negative experiences with ket simply because they don't know what to expect going in so they're caught off guard. It's NOT a psychodelic and it shouldn't be treated like one. It's NOT a party drug and it shouldn't be treated like one (at least not until you're used to it). It's a dissociative, which can be unfamiliar. But I sincerely find it like... Mild compared to acid?

I think it's about a) being careful with portions. People who are used to railing massive lines of blow assume that they can handle that with ket and rly to start you should be doing the tiniest bumps possible, you do not want to be trying for a K-Hole at first (I never do in general bc i like consciousness). You build tolerance very fast but always err on the side of less. Whatever you think you can handle, take some off.

b) creating the right environment. As I said, it's not a party drug. It's for chilling on the sofa with your favourite music and a good friend. Take all pressure off and make sure there's nothing you need to actually do. Don't combine it with any other drug (ESPECIALLY not acid!!!!)

c) having the right mindset going in. Two things about this, first the effects of ketamine are over fast. It always passes after a short while, and if you're aware of that you can relax and know you'll be okay because even if you don't like it you'll be fine soon, so you might as well just try and enjoy what you can. Second, as with any drug anxiety and overthinking will make it worse- typically in a situation where you feel like you're losing control I'd suggest trying to relax and find something pleasant about the sensation to focus on until you ride it out. That's why you should make absolutely sure you're in a position where nothing can happen to you except being conked out on the sofa for a while.

All this being said, what ARE the benefits? She's a weird one for sure, as I said it's a dissociative– this means that you kind of feel like you're outside your body. At higher doses people see their body from the ceiling and stuff but I don't think it's necessary to get to that level. At lower doses it's just floaty. Like with psychodelics music can sound like the best thing ever and conversations can be super deep/hilarious in a way that makes 0 sense later. Things, especially your body, can feel really cool and the way you see the world is just weird and different and interesting. I've tried a fair amount of "mainstream" drugs and the best/most enjoyable highs I've had have been with ketamine by far.

An interesting thing about ketamine is that there's not really any comedown nor hangover– unlike something like mdma you don't go through days of depression afterwards. Actually it's kind of the opposite, you can actually feel better about life and the world afterwards. The reason for this in my non-scientific opinion is that being momentarily detached from your body gives you a weird kind of outside perspective on life? And then when you're back on earth things just look different. It's honestly been helpful to me for processing specific things on occasion.

Obviously this is a recreational drug, not a cure for depression nor a long term emotional crutch and there ARE risks just like with any substance. I mentioned that you build tolerance quickly– for me this was an incentive to use infrequently because otherwise you start needing bigger doses to achieve the same effects. That doesn't mean it's impossible to create a dependency or that there might not be risks. Like anything, it's about being careful and safe and knowing your personal limits.

I am also not saying that everyone should go out and try ket. Certainly I would not recommend it to the average Tumblr user. I merely think that she's underrated and could potentially be enjoyed (in a responsible way 🥴) by people who have experience with and know they can handle LSD or shrooms or similar (NOT AT THE SAME TIME. DONT COMBINE KETAMINE AND LSD LOL u probably won't die but it won't be fun 😭). I think if you're used to the feeling of surrendering control for a while and Ur reasonable about dosage it's really like... much less extreme than acid. And can be rly rly fun especially with friends but it can also be nice alone!

[saltbind]

tag game!!

tagged by the lovely @serpentmessmer

Do you make your bed? i will just kinda nudge the sheets back into place but its mostly for my cat. i ain't tryin' too hard tho i do not spend much time out of my bed in the first place

What's your favorite number? 7, 13, 23, Good Numbers

What is your job? i relay calls for folks who are deaf/hard of hearing/have speech issues

If you could go back to school, would you? if it was free i absolutely would i love learning. alas

Can you parallel park? bruh i cannot even drive yet. i'm. working on it

A job you had that would surprise people? i don't think any of my jobs would surprise anyone, it's all retail, hospo, admin and call centre stuff. nothing weird in there really. oh, i worked at a non-emergency police call centre once for a month. it was terrible

Do you think aliens are real? yes, but considering i have a phobia of them i would like them to stay far away til i work through that shit

Can you drive a manual car? i cannot drive any car :)

What's your guilty pleasure? i try not to feel guilty abt pleasure as my prev mutuals have said, but i do feel indulgent when i get to have a nice long bath (no bath in current unit so it's a hotels only kinda thing rn)

Tattoos? one so far and many planned. however i will have to get my one covered up bc it's to do with Magical Children's Series Whose Author Turned Out To Be Shit, and as i am trans i don't rly want it on my skin anymore lmao

Favorite color? phthalo green!

Favorite type of music? when i was younger i was a biiiiig metalhead and i am still very fond of it, but now i'm into darker sounding stuff with fun synths and basslines. spotify says dark pop and alt z is what i listen to a lot of, idk about that but it sounds correct

Do you like puzzles? i adore puzzles. i love escape rooms especially

Any phobias? just aliens rly but jokes on you if you send me any to freak me out bc i'm desensitizing anyway

Favorite childhood sport? the Autism means my hand-eye co-ordination has been shithouse my entire life, however i did martial arts for a while and started when I was like 12. so i'm counting that bc it was v fun. i was also surprisingly good at dodgeball, possibly bc being shit at sports meant i was dodging balls in all the other sports too

Do you talk to yourself? not out loud a lot but internally yeah i got a dialogue. out loud is reserved for my cat

What movies do you adore? i like horror movies and movies with whatever actor i'm fixated on. idk i don't know if i adore movies so much as they get hooked inside my brain until i've watched them enough to recite them. the movies that i have been moved by i usually only watch once and that's a different kinda love. i have movies i'm married to (inception, deepwater horizon, etc) and movies that are (as stephen king would say) a kiss in the dark from a stranger (donnie darko, the lovely bones, million dollar baby, etc)

Coffee or tea? tea 100% the smell of coffee makes me nauseous

First thing you wanted to be when you grew up? as a baby baby i wanted to me a marine biologist, then a herpetologist, then a drama teacher who was also an author, then an actor, etc. this was all before age 10.

tagging @monstraduplicia @jellybracelet @hellhoundlair

[skitskatdacat63]

💙💜👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 for the oc ask? I wanna know about the worldbuilding

Hellooo sorry for this taking a bit, I had to think! Tysm for the ask!! Again, i'll go with Eclipse lol. These were pretty complicated and a little dark, so I put them under the cut

💙 — does your oc have any cool/special powers and/or abilities? how are they with magic, if it exists in their world?

I guess you could say there's magic in my au but it's more the inherent ability of gods, so Eclipse rly has nothing to do with that. However I'd say that she does have some abilities. She was blinded in one eye so since then she really has to compensate with her other senses. She's from a "pedigree" family, which is something she really resents for many reasons, but she can't deny it's made her able to compensate better, because she's predisposed to being agile, adept and quick thinking, among many other things.

💜 — what is your oc's ancestry/genetic background?

She is mixed Japanese-Chinese-Korean. She is mixed Pluto-Neptune, a fox and a cat(I had a poll the other day with planets, here to explain!) However her mother is Japanese and from Neptune, so I guess you'd say she has higher percentages of that ancestry!

👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 — how many people are in your oc's immediate family? how many people are in your oc's extended family? do they have aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, etc? who in their family are they closest with? are they close with their birth family, or do they have a found family?

She has two sisters and she is the youngest! Her family situation is very weird. Every generation has a matriarch and produces an female heir with a family selected partner from Japan, China and South Korea. All the kids(with their respective parent) all compete, not directly, to become the next matriarch. Since she's the youngest, she already had the least chance of becoming matriarch, and since a young age showed a lot of resentment of the system and the formality, as well as being pretty mentally ill. This caused her primary mother to resent and abuse her because she pretty much gave up all hope in Eclipse since a pretty young age. Her mother basically put all of her hopes and dreams into Eclipse before she was even born, and then soon came to see Eclipse as ruining her life. Eclipse's other mother is somewhat well-meaning but incredibly aloof/oblivious to Eclipse's plight and ended up focusing a lot of energy into her first born, Ember, from the start. Here is a family tree if it's a bit confusing.

She is estranged from both her mothers, but for different reasons. She was never really close with the matriarch just due to bad luck, but is estranged from her other mother because any hopes for a good relationship were pretty much destroyed from a young age. She has not really directly talked to her since she was barely 18 when the big thing happened.

However, she has a bit more of a complicated relationship with her sisters, Echo and Ember(they're all nicknames technically okay.) She'd always been close with Echo, because as previously stated, they both really never had any chance at becoming matriarch and did not really want to anyways. Ember is extremely kind and friendly but due to the family situation, she always felt like a very distant and lofty figure to Eclipse and Eclipse couldn't help but resent her, so they never really got close, even though Ember wanted to. She has a lot of trouble connecting to Echo after she was disowned though, because any connection to her family makes her feel bitter and on edge, and she doesn't like that Echo is still close with them all. Both sisters think she is missing or dead for a while but cannot really do anything about it. Eclipse avoids Ember at all cost when she eventually starts visiting Echo again, because Ember to her represents the worst part about their family(the whole succession system.) It takes a while for her to get close with either of them

Her found family, if you'd even call it that, is her girlfriend Noir, and Noir's close friends and family. She eventually gets close with her sisters , but her relationship with them isn't comparable to how much she trusts Noir. Even if Noir and her have a very complicated, tumultuous relationship, that deep trust is at the center of it. She reliably knows Noir likes her for she truly is and there's no powergrab involved. She does not really like the idea of family at all, because family to her is just a corrupt power structure that pits everyone against each other. I think she'd be very hard pressed to admit anyone being family to her, because she has her own concept of closeness. She is very solitary, so her letting anyone in and being close with anyone is pretty shocking. Noir is a family person so she definitely has a big influence on Eclipse in that way, but it takes a long while. Eclipse is basically a pedigree house cat that became a stray and then has to be lured in to being domestic again.

[halfbaked00q]

thinkin abt this post again uh oh...

the way it rly does make the. "haha yea he lives for the field and is a mess of bad coping habits outside of it teehee" thing from like. "ah, classic James Bond, amirite?" into a "hahah oh. wait. wait a minute. 🥲 wait.. oh no... oh no.." thing... at least for me lol,,

so now I'm thinking of like. the actual ins & outs of peaceful environments being more stressful for Bond :') and I think he probably has a functional understanding of it ofc - he lives with it and his used-band-aid coping habits - but maybe not the level of meta-knowledge that the post presents.

actually haha. what if 00's get victim training too, like. what to do with victims, if they encounter them etc. God can you imagine how that would be, for them, and for the trainers. Here are the signs of trauma! Here's how victims might react!! ...do not look too closely or the mirror becomes the abyss and therein lies madness. :')

Actually in that case I think maybe they have varying levels of functional understandings, ranging from yep this is me but that's part of the costs of doing battle, to like. yep those are my demons living in the corner of my house. I named them Steve, they hang around about 10 ft back. don't worry about it! to like. wow that's a sucky thing to happen to other people :( not me tho, Im Dealin' with it in my own special quirky way!!! :)

--

Where does Bond fall on this spectrum... I dunno, perhaps "surprisingly knows a lot about himself about this but maybe doesn't have the full vocabulary and meta-knowledge to make really synthesize it and also knows that for how he is, he doesn't have the luxury of looking at it too closely or else he will Collapse, so he just has to keep running on the fractured bone until it collapses under him :')

I think yes like cicer's thing in warmth of your doorways, there's an element of like. you can't uhh (can't remember the analogy off the top of my head but basically can't effectively address the issues when they're still in the situation that'll continue to traumatize/retraumatize them).

But however-- I don't feel like it has to be so zero sum or like bleak in the outlook, I think there CAN be ways in which you can still work to improve subjective well-being even in the thick of it.

And I think this for me is the impulse behind the Q pspsps'ing in semi-feral cat Bond, and like with a semi-feral cat, giving it a warm house it could use which it may not at first but slooooowly building trust until it starts coming around more often, hanging around... eventually, eventually, letting you pet it.... teaching it that it's okay to accept comfort, to want it...

--

okay obligate and gratuitous cat metaphors aside lmao...

I imagine it's gotta be possible to start, like. desensitization-therapy-ing Bond to not-mission/downtime so he's not just always like hm... Feels Bad. you know? Like, beyond just the "teach him simple pleasures"/reactivate his senses where he's grown like over-satiated/overstimulated / accustomed to tuning them out or accustomed to compartmentalizing them. beyond just all of the yea he's become jaded & inured to it, teach him to see it with new eyes/in a new light. There's the "work on addressing the stress response/trauma response to (ostensibly) NO stress, so that maybe it can actually BE no-stress, instead of just "supposed to be but it's unfamiliar and weird therefore stressful and uncomfortable."

so like, not only the 'give him a reason to live outside of the field.' But also teach the survival animal in his brain that he CAN live outside the field, it's NOT worse or weird or bad or unsafe, to be safe.

You can lay your head to rest without needing to expect an attack from any side at any moment. You are safe, you CAN be safe. (it's okay to be safe, I will keep you safe- we will keep each other safe)

//

(transcript of the post screenshot cuz now it's not just a bit and we're actually discussing it lmao):

This may seem like basic common sense, but one interesting (and kind of terrifying) thing I recently read was that some individuals who grew up in an emotionally abusive environment find that their anxiety level actually decreases in the presence of those who are mean or overly critical of them because it's familiar. Their nervous systems are hard wired to react to that kind of treatment as "normal" in the sense that it knows what to do with it--what defense mechanisms to employ when, etc.

Meanwhile, kinder, more peaceful, and healthier relationships are quite a dramatic adjustment, and ironically feel less predictable because of all the threats that are absent and never materialize. It feels suspicious or too good to be true, which in turn ratchets up hypervigilance and hyper-arousal. Instead of knowing what BS is coming because it always does, there's the nebulous sense that the other shoe is just waiting to drop. Safety and respect can feel the most unsafe for a while, because as far as the traumatized nervous system is concerned, those things don't exist, or if they do in any form, there must be a million unseen strings attached.

This is part of what traps a lot of people in abusive relationships, consistently draws them to want to please assholes, or keeps them moving from one unhealthy environment to the next--a highly toxic comfort of familiarity where being on the receiving end of cruelty feels like "home".

uh oh... not my Bond-hyperfixated brain seeing this post and thinking "ooh just like James Bond!!".........

okay but the thing is tho. the thing is. I do think it has very real parallels/applications with the Disambiguous Issues that we give to/that Bond just has or comes with lmao..... both just on his own and in the context of a relationship with Q (both it being Q and being a relationship in general). :')

[kuiinncedes]

:P

[foulbearobservation]

since you’re the camlilith blogTM, do you have camlilith fic recs?

me: oh I don't think I'm the gateway to camilith shipping

y'all: so as The Camilith Blog™...

anyway yes I do have fic recs gather round children, I've delved into the depths of the tag and emerged with the best of the best

let's start with casper's (@daisychainsandbowties) fics and then go from there!

by such slight ligaments are we bound: god like truly this is THEE Camilith fic of all time for me like. you all don't understand. lilith is so fucked up. camila touches her so tenderly. lilith gets her hair washed. she bleeds all over the fucking place. she completely disassociates. she bleeds all over the fucking place some more. she's gods specialest little soldier. she's gods most beloathed nun. she's my little guy.

thus strangely are our souls constructed: listen. listen. this is the rat fic. I hold it close to my heart. I adore it. Lilith's having a breakdown in a sporting goods store. she's bleeding out with beatrice in a hallway. they're in love. they don't realize they're in love. they're also not in love. it's a lot. lilith is a little in love with every woman who shows her any kindness. I can't wait to see where this one goes

a light, a blessing, or a bruise: the dishonored au!!!! dishonored au my beloved! (not a fic but check out whale's dishonored art pieces here & here & here they make me feel insane) this fic actually got me to start playing dishonored and the world is. so interesting. the way casper has translated the characters is FASCINATING. great fic I fucking love it.

okay that's all of casper's fics now let's go to some others shall we?

The bestie @thats-a-weird-warning-sign wrote Tenderness to you is only talk about a bruise which is just. so good. I truly don't know what else I need to say about it. lilith's brain melts out of her ears because of camila's strap. There's healing from trauma. there's more sex. listen. we all read the tags we all knew what we were getting into.

Shroomyystar on ao3 (I think they're @cranechel on here?) has some bangers. most of these are rated M or E, for good reason. they're darker or they're just abt sex so your mileage may vary based on what you want to read but they're all tagged appropriately!

like real people do: lilith asks camila to kill her and it's sweeter than you think, I promise.

light pink sky up on the roof: lilith kneels.

one bite of salvation in the dark: lilith kneels and also eats cami out.

there's also serenity which is a rly cute little fic abt camila just staring at lilith and I think it's very sweet we get this view of them cause I feel like lilith is the more common pov character

some other one offs!

Worship her sooner is my bestie Em who texted me one day like "do you think ao3 has a tag for sexy latin usage" and refused to elaborate.

The whole series of 1 Peter 4:8 is very good. this was before season 2 came out, and I'll just link the first fic here it's SO GOOD. Go comment and show some love to these fics, they're older so I don't think they got the attention they deserved.

golden hour is an avatrice fic HOWEVER it's set at camilith's wedding and the way ava just describes lilith as scary and whipped is truly so funny to me

And that's about all I have I think? I probably forgot something, and I'm very picky with fics to begin with so. If you think I missed something, add it in the comments!

[sassycordy]

What is the sga debacle?? Did he do something specific?? I only know that he also made the shows Dark Matter and Utopia Falls which both have diversity and representation so that makes me hopeful for the same treatment in a new stargate series.

hi! whew im so sorry im just getting to this lmfao. truthfully ive been rly busy and this is such a serious topic that i wanted to make sure i chose my words carefully and laid everything out in the best way possible. 

disclaimer section! im not the best person to speak on this topic ahha. I just got into the fandom last year and it was only a few months ago that i started to hear some of these issues that existed previously (so if any veteran stargate fans wanna hop in on this and explain things in greater detail, please do)! also this is not a call out post or canceling thing. this is simply a hey-these-things-happened-and-maybe-we-should-be-careful-with-who-we-interact-with-and-trust type thing. anyways without further ado, here’s some of the sketchy shit that went down behind the scenes of stargate atlantis! (all sources are posted in the comment/replies btw)

> let’s start with the decision to kill off carson beckett because thats where the first weird comment pops up. now a lot of people claim that this was a move made by writers & producers to shake up the show and “make the actors feel less secure.” i’ve never been able to find that direct quote although ive heard people say that someone openly admitted it on the audio commentary/bonus features on the atlantis dvds soo take that however you like aha.

> after the sudden exit of paul mcgillion, tori higginson left the show a few episodes later anddddd ok this is where things escalate. this is an interview she gave where she openly talks about everything that went on behind the scenes. but to summarize, the writers ignored all of her input and refused to grow the character further when she had clearly outgrown the “Hammond” role. joseph mallozzi states in his blog post that brad wright himself was very fond and loved the weir character and he claims that the decision to write her out was because of “just simple logic.”(1) however, torri tells a different story. (2) 

“Honestly? I found that quite shitty, to be honest (laughs).Oops. But I found out, because I kept going to them, I kept going up to them saying ‘I have a feeling my character, you’re not doing anything with me, and you guys have me for six years and I don’t want to, you know, be here not doing anything. Let me know what’s going on.’ And they kept saying “no, no, no, it’s great. We love you. We love you. Things can be great.’ And I said ‘well, if that’s the case, can we do something with her’ and they kept reassuring me that nothing - and the very last day of filming season three, as I finished filming the last scene on the last day I was called up to the office and was told that my character was going to become recurring if I chose to be. So, I thought that was not very, um, dignified, way to deal with it, and I was a bit surprised. So I was—so my reaction was one of yeah, I was a little bit surprised. I was a little bit upset by how it was dealt with. But I wasn’t upset at the decision because I understood it. I kept going to them saying ‘I get, I get what’s going to happen, just give me some notice so I can pack my apartment and move back to L.A. Really. So I wasn’t upset with the decision. I was upset with how it was handled.”

she was led on and told her role would be reduced after the filming of season three which is uh. absolutely insane to think about considering she’s the main female lead of the show. And this is just my personal opinion but i think its interesting timing that as soon as brad stepped down, joseph mallozzi and his writing partner, paul mullie got rid of her. It’s also pretty telling that there was some bad blood behind the scenes because she didn’t even reprise her character in season five for the ghost in the machine aka the episode where they “kill elizabeth” off. although i do wanna mention that since then, jm has posted that he believes elizabeth would actually still be alive today and is just in stasis somewhere waiting to be found …which is nice. i guess. maybe they shouldn’t have fired her in the first place but hey whatever. 

and to end the torri section, here’s another quote that i think is the real reason she was let go from atlantis.

Question: And now Amanda Tapping seems to be doing exactly the same… just filing an episode. Torri said “Well, no. I understand that it’s a club, and you know, some people.. .you know. I think they didn’t like me constantly rapping on the doors saying ‘excuse me, why aren’t there any women writers or any women producers on the show?’ I think it bothered them. And so, Amanda, bless her, just had a kid so... bless her, man, she needs that gig more than [me]… you know what I mean? So I have no issues with any of them. I understand how it works. It is a bit of a political game and… I’m not very good at politics (laughs). I’m like Weir. I just want to act.”

> now this is where the joe flanigan of it all starts to come in. he’s been vocal about defending torri higginson and openly saying how bad of a decision it was to kill her off. (3) and his interview with dial the gate was enlightening on a few topics. (4)

his character didn’t get a backstory until season 3. tptb literally told him, “john likes ferris wheels” and called it a day. which is actually mind boggling. they gave him nothing to work with and somehow he turned it into gold. 

he’s also said many times and in different interviews how terrible it was that the writers carried over from sg1. the cast would pitch ideas but would be shut down because they would sound “too much like an sg1 ep” which is ridiculous considering how many atlantis scripts are just a rip off of sg1 eps anyways.

> and finally the whole whispers debacle. now i don’t really know a lot about this, so I'll just link the tumblr post that first brought this to my attention! (5) there’s also the whole “the writers stopped taking notes from the cast after season 3 and specifically started to shun joe out”  thing (which is very obvious in seasons 4 and 5) so i’ll also link another great tumblr post because they explain it so much better than i can. (6)

> there’s also the fact that once it became clear that universe was not doing well, both bw and jm turned and blamed it on atlantis and even sg1 fans.

“I don’t think if we, for any reason, go away, it is an issue necessarily of the quality of the product that we’ve been making. I think getting moved on the schedule has hurt us. And the fact that some of the fans that liked SG-1 and Atlantis were so angry that they have deliberately hurt us, which is unfortunate.” (7) Brad Wright. 

Jaso967060 writes: “Heck I think alot of people from “that other site” could be won back if some changes are made. (Finding out the Destinys Mission and the crew working together more instead of tearing each other down…and having more action…changes like that.)” 

Answer: Disagree. Given that their deluded mission statement is to see SGU cancelled in order to pave the way for an SGA return, I doubt that very much. (8) Joseph Mallozzi

this post is getting too long so i won’t go into the whole “stargate atlantis viewers were not the right demographic the writers wanted” thing. because yes this may have been said by one of the writers (i don’t have a source but so many people bring it up and it makes sense considering the type of show universe is). also joe flanigan talked about how the writers and producers disrespected atlantis fans and he sorta mentions this quote too so im gonna link it. (9) also i would just like to say huge shoutout to joe for not caring to be diplomatic lol. 

but yea. please take this post however you would like. all of this happened years and years ago so one can only hope people have learned from their mistakes. and if a fourth stargate show is ever made, I just pray they'll finally have women and poc writers/producers/directors as main contributors. also joseph mallozzi has done so many interviews with dial of the gate in recent years, so i would check those out if anyone would like to hear his current thoughts on stargate. (if you do, please message me because i would love to know if he acknowledges any of these topics ahah). 

and to end this lovely post, let's reminisce on that one time joe flanigan called the writers of atlantis “rodney mckays” <3

“Because the writers are all McKays – they are the collective Rodney McKay. It’s a whole load of little McKays running round up there in the offices.” (10)

so sorry this took a million years to respond to ahha. and i may have gotten a bit sidetracked but i hope i answered your question !!

[safetycar-restart]

Clingy Charles wanting to take showers with you is so cute. I was thinking as well about him getting really frustrated whenever he has to shave alone. From pictures it seems like he often has a smooth chest and legs, he rly likes the feeling but hates all the effort so much, it always takes so long and he feels really lonely. Maybe one time you notice he’s been showering for longer than usual and you go to check on him. He’s letting out little sobs after giving up on shaving, he’s given himself a couple of little cuts on his legs by accident and hates being alone for all that time, so he ended up just sitting on the side of the bath all frustrated. You go to comfort your poor baby and ask what happened. When he explains how much he hates shaving, you offer to do it for him and Charles just completely lights up. Now it becomes standard in your relationship and Charles loves the intimatacy of it. Sometimes you even shave his face, Charles loves how he can just trust you with anything, all he has to do is sit still and be a good boy. You even try waxing with him, but you have to hold his hand throughout so he can squeeze it when it stings.

(Maybe with poly!Piarles it’s Pierre’s job afterwards to put lotion and body cream all over Bunny while you clean up in the bathroom. You just kind of deliver him to Pierre after you’re done.)

OH GOD I ADORE THIS?? I feel like it’s been a while since we’ve done a really fluffy non sexual poly!piarles thought, so I’m gonna make this poly!piarles right from the start. It’s so so cute I love it.

Firstly, Charles loves feeling all nice and smooth. You and Pierre would NEVER force him to shave, but he loves it and he’s been doing it since long before he got with you and Pierre.

The first time he slept with you two, he spent HOURS shaving before, making sure everything was perfect and he was so proud of how well he managed. He’s always prided himself on it.

The issue, however, is that you and Pierre see Charles naked so much more than any of his previous partners. He’s never gotten fucked as often before, has never been as endlessly horny. And more than that, he just loves skin on skin cuddles? He always used to shy about that with other partners but he loses all shame with you and Pierre.

He’ll wriggle into bed completely naked and slip his hand in r Pierre’s boxers, whining because there shouldn’t be any space between them!! Pierre will just chuckle and give bunny a kiss before removing his clothes for cuddles.

Obviously this is all amazing, but it also means that Charles has to shave himself a lot more then he’s ever had to before? Even when he doesn’t have sex for a week, he’ll still end up cuddled up with his mommy and his Pierre without any clothes, cause he just loves it so much.

And he just… he hates shaving. He hates it so so much.

Especially when you and Pierre are there? Cause why on earth would be want to be holed up in the bathroom shaving for an hour when he knows his mommy and his Pierre are in the living room?

And he’s always had this weird thing where he doesn’t want you and Pierre to realise how much effort he puts into shaving? Which is ridiculous but he still tries.

But then one time you and Pierre are cuddling on the couch, waiting for Charles to finish showering so that you three can start some new ridiculous drama series charles has been wanting to try. But he’s taking way longer than usual so you decide to go check on him.

And what you find breaks your heart.

Your sweet little bunny sitting at the edge of the bath, his razed in his hand and tears in his eyes. He’s just so sad! He wanted to finish shaving and get cuddles but it’s taking so long and he tried to hurry and ended up nicking himself and now he’s so sad. He feels like such a failure, like he can’t even manage to make himself look nice for his mommy and his Pierre.

He’s so sad when he admits to you that he hates shaving, like somehow he’s a bad sub. Of course you kneel down and kiss him sweetly, wiping his tears away and reminding him that he never has to shave for you and Pierre. That you and Pierre will take him exactly as he is, would never expect him to shave, especially not if it makes him this upset.

But he shakes his head. He doesn’t want that!!

So then you offer if you can help him shave, and he looks at you in disbelief. You would… you would help? His mommy would help him shave??

His whole fade lights up!! That’s everything!!

So quickly run to the living room to tell Pierre what you’re doing, and of course Pierre offers to come help too. He’s equally as upset at the image of Charles crying in the bathroom, even though he didn’t actively see it himself.

But you shake your head. You’re worried about overwhelming Charles. So Pierre says he’ll be waiting in the bedroom to put lotion on him afterwards.

Charles is just so happy as you shave him. His mommy is helping!! You’re so gentle with him of course, making sure to not cut him by accident, taking care to use warm water so that it feels nice and letting bunny babble on about his day while you do it. He’s so smiley, just in awe that he’s lucky enough to have this.

Once you’re all done and you’ve wiped him down, he starts to help you tidy up but you stop him. He’s a good little bunny and good bunnies don’t need to help you clean up. Instead, you tell him to go to the bedroom because Pierre is waiting for him.

Charles is a little confused, but he goes (completely naked of course because he just got shaved and he wants to show it off). He’s so surprised to find his Pierre sitting on the bed with two different types of lotion out, one scented and one in scented.

He tells Charles that you helped him shave and now he’s going to put lotion on for him so he must just come lay done and let Pierre do it. Naturally, little bunny just bursts into tears because this is simply too much soft attention in too short a time for him to not start sobbing.

Pierre used the scented lotion on his arms, legs and chest, and then the unscented lotion on his public area. Of course charles becomes a complete mess as Pierre does this, becoming increasingly horny and whiney. By the time Pierre is doing his public area, he’s having to hold Charles’s cock out the way because he’s hard and leaking.

You finish cleaning up and join them in the bedroom just as Pierre is finishing up, and are greeted with the the image if Charles whining and squirming, cock hard in Pierre’s hand as he finishes with the lotion.

Naturally you have to join them on bed, letting Charles settle between your legs and letting Pierre have his fun with Charles’s cock.

It becomes a weekly tradition that Charles loves so much.

[tokoyamisstuff]

Famished - Gyutaro x Reader

Summary: When Gyutaro is haunted by memories of his past, he decides hunting them instead.

"Everything I ever let go of has claw marks on it." ~ D. F. Wallace

Warnings: Angst, Self-Loathing, SHB, Mentions of Past Child Neglect, Canon-Typical Violence

Notes: Fem! Sex Worker! Reader, Aged Up Characters, Canon Divergence, a rly long Monologue at the beginning

Words: ~5100

A/N: As always, this mess is not proofread. And the Tumblr App is glitching soo...

Demons do not dream.

To be precize, no sleep at all would interrupt their whole, tragic existence - and Gyutaro was no exception.

However, no matter how desperately he would attempt to banish the last bit of humanity left inside of him, one part of it would always remain: The farce that was his nightmarish past.

A memory.

It was scratching on the surface of his soul like a nail on a chalkboard, threatening to re-emerge without ever actually succeeding to do so.

But this one was different, that much he could tell.

If Gyutaro would believe in something like a soul, he'd describe this feeling as a tiny ember - glimmering weakly in his otherwise empty mind, which had been darkened by the hatred that dominated his whole being.

That particular memory was almost seeming to fight desperately, trying to enlight the pitch black spot that was once his heart, tainted by the cruel way of his upbringing.

It was weird, really - because from his very first breath after turning into this new, vile lifeform, most of his former life was forgotten.

The Master once explained that the reasons for this phenomenom can differ, but in his case it was probably out of his own wish to have those painful memories erased, starting anew.

And as the years of his demonic existence passed, all details from what he had left behind vanished more and more. Only vague ideas and feelings he was unable to suppress would remain...

...for example, the burning desire to even out the scales of fortune and misfortune, that is.

Gyutaro was almost certain that he was doomed from the very start, having lost every ounce of hope at a young age. All that was left from the young man he once was were those taunting, agonizing emotions. They were making him even more bitter and misanthropic than he already was - and which he could only soothe by making others feel just the same.

As he was now, the demon had killed all emotion and ties that weren't connected to his sister. He wouldn't care about when or how his life was going to end, for he knew the destination was hell either way - and it couldn't be worse than the things he had already endured.

"The one that takes" they dared to call him in the shadows of the Entertainment District, and he took great pride in this name. For it was more than just a description of himself - it was a threat...

...a threat that now, it was his time to take what he was never granted, and the only thing he would give the people that wronged him would be their own fair share of pain.

Justice is but a concept, and even if it existed, it never favoured Gyutaro - so he would personally restore balance of fate itself.

Demon Slayers would kill beings they ought to be evil - but who was taking care of humans, whose potential for evil was almost equally high? That was the role Gyutaro wanted to play.

The strong devour the weak. It had always been just like this...

...but now the weak have grown strong, and they are ready to get back at those who made their life a living hell!

However, even someone as numb as himself could have relapses, as it seemed. Just like on some nights like those, when Gyutaro was unable to shun out those nagging thoughts, his subconsciousness screaming at him to remember this crucial, most important thing.

But no matter how much he racked his brain around it, all fragments of his past would only lead to dead ends.

Pain and violence alike had always been the boys steady - and only - companions, anger and jealousy having become his teachers...

...at least until the birth of his younger sister gave him a new perspective. Asides from that, he had nothing.

No reason to live for.

No dreams or hopes to look forwards to.

No one to keep going on for, no matter the circumstances.

Yes, his little sister was indeed the only thing that saved him. He had to keep working hard, functioning for her sake at least. Protect her - his only drive and purpose.

No!

It wasn't true. Something he was missing out - but what?

There was someone before Ume. Someone important, his guts told him that much as they twisted painfully with every thought he spent on this topic.

So why wouldn't he remember, no matter how hard he was trying?!

Probably because it was so absurd.

In the end, the demon concluded that his twisted mind most likely made something up out of thin air - a thought to cling on, to prevent himself from breaking down completely.

And yet, nothing of this made any sense to him.

Used to be treated with nothing but distgust and resentment by others, Gyutaro never understood how anyone could behave any different towards him. To him it had become natural, his only reality...

...and yet, that feeling blossoming in his chest wouldn't cease. It was a sensation so unfamiliar that remembering it would frighten even this horrifying demon he had become.

A person had been kind to him in the past...but who? Why? How?

No matter how much time passed, even as the weeks ever since his transformation turned into years, those thoughts would eat on him like a parasyte.

So many questions, and no way to begin finding answers to them. It was as if the tiny, dying part of himself that remained human was laying out traces for him, one after another:

Flashing memories, too short to fully grasp them before the brief moment in his mind was over again. His senses remembering the touch, smell, taste of something more addicting than the flesh of his prey could ever be. A voice, so tender and laced with honest affection, almost as if whispering inside of his own core.

Gyutaro was accustomed to all kinds of pain, but this one was torture even by his standarts. Every nerve was on fire, yearning for those tiny bits of honest affection, no matter where it came from.

Whatever had caused those memories, they were imprinted in his heart as if someone carved them into his heart, leaving nothing but scars.

And eventually, on a certain, fateful night, he finally put the pieces together. It was a full moon as Gyutaro was lurking inside Daki's body to pick a new victim for tonights feast...

...but what he found was you.

Just one image, for the fraction of a second until you had already turned around and made your leave again - but it was enough to awaken that turmoil of emotions once again. There was no time to collect himself as the walls in his mind crumbled down, a tide of painful memories flooding his heart.

"Y-Y/N...yeah, her name was Y/N! My dear, lovely, pretty Y/N!"

Daki immediately began to scream her lungs out, overwhelmed due to being affected by those unfamiliar sentiments, long since forgotten. It didn't take long until everyone would immediately rush to "Warabihime's" side, who was currently unconscious as she had fainted from the mental pressure.

That was just how strongly Gyutaro was still feeling for you, after all those years. Now it was all clear in front of his inner eye - how could he ever have forgotten?!?

You were just the same as him, after all, even though not in every aspect. But pleasure and pain were always close together in the streets of the Lowest Part of the Entertainment District, after all...

When you were only five years old, those persons you wouldn't even call your 'parents' anymore finally sold you to a Minor House, chaining you to a life of paying off their tremendous debts. They had ruined your life before it even really started, and yet you were glad to escape their sheer endless abuse.

Some would call you blessed, with a face like some piece of art -which could both be your advantage and doom, considering the environment you were forced to grow up from now on. Yet the other woman set high hopes in you earning them good money, so you were always favoured and well cared for during your education.

Gyutaro on the other hand was suffering ever since he could remember, every single day being a fight for survival while no one would bid the poor boy a single ounce of sympathy...

...except for you.

It was on a harsh summer day, he believed, when he found himself close to starvation once again. He was all alone in a lonely, uncommon alley of the poverty quarter - the only way he'd get shelter from the burning sun and rage of the other inhabitants.

Debating whether it was a good idea to risk food poisoning again, his overwhelming hunger convinced Gyutaro to try anything. He'd start catching the flies swarming around him, gulping them down as if to tell them it was not his time to become their food just yet.

How often had the boy been beaten up by both children and adults for his blatant ugliness, even though he obviousl wasn't at fault for being born the way he was? Or maybe they thought his looks to be an Omen, a punishment by the gods itself, who knows...

However, their behavior shaped him in a certain way, by making him choose his philosophy: No matter how beautiful someone's outer shell - the prettier they are, the more rotten on the inside.

He tended to despise those born with attributes he wished to possess himself - but you were different from the very beginning...

...since in this darkest of hours, a girl about his age came up to him - a mere filthy, worthless boy - and offered to help.

Gyutaro remembered being stunned, overwhelmed, scared: Just how often had people acted nice to raise his hopes, only to reveal the reason being a cruel joke or a childish dare?

And with your stunning beauty, soothing his sore eyes, it was certain that you couldn't be a good person at heart. So he remained silent, tried to ignore that most magnificent face right next to him until you'd show your lower motives.

Why were you so close, without being scared or grossed out in any way? Gyutaro would scan your face for any hints, but all he saw was a shy yet sincere smile, and it felt like it was kicking the air out of his lungs.

For a while, you'd sit there in uncomfortable silence, giving the boy some time to get used to your presence until you reached into your small bag and offered him something to eat. It wasn't much, but you knew he needed it more than you did, and you certainly would get more once you'd come home.

The boy quickly snatched the loaf of bread out of your hands, his empty stomach too painful to waste a single thought on it being poisoned. He teared it apart as good as he could, stuffing the food in his mouth like a wild animal.

"Not so fast" you whispered a little held back, just to be met with furious eyes. Taken aback, you shuffled away a little. "You're going to choke. Here, have some water first!"

He gulped down the bottle in one go, strands of dry, unkempt hair falling into his face while you unsuccessfully tried to communicate with the boy in any way.

The child next to you was probably just your age, yet way smaller and almost lethally emaciated. His whole body was covered in stork marks, only a few crooked and rotten teeth remaining in his mouth. The ragged, dirty fabric on his body couldn't even be recognized as clothing, and you were almost certain to see flees climbing across his body.

It was hard to gain his trust just from that one little act of kindness, and for a while you were unsure if the child was even able to speak - all you knew was that it hurt you to see someone this way.

"I will come back tomorrow" you had told him that day, only able to hope that he understood. "Same time same place."

Gyutaro expected nothing - neither from you, nor the rest of the world...

...yet the tingly feeling during the short time you spent together that afternoon was unlike anything he had ever experienced - and it was haunting him ever since, reveling in it even when he returned home to a beating of his own mother.

Over the following months, you would keep your promise and always meet the strange boy in the same empty alleyway, gracing him with your presence while sharing your rations with him.

"Gyutaro" was his name, and you treasured it ever since he finally started speaking with you. He was ashamed of his voice, this much he let you know during your brief conversations, but it was alright. You'd understand each other without any words, mostly just enjoying each other's presence in silence.

You would steal food from your home to bring him, were tending to his wounds and never even once left his side when times were especially hard. Most of the time you'd speak about topics he would not understand, but it didn't matter as the time with you was his only escape from this otherwise cruel world.

There was no way to express his deep thankfullness either way, and he wouldn't need to. Seeing him return to meet you, knowing him to be save and surviving another day was more than you ever needed. And soon, Gyutaro would truly start to open up to you - slowly but steadily.

Over time, the place between dirt and garbage has become something like a hideout for the two of you - since no one shall ever know about your secret friendship. If anyone of the house would know why you were wasting so much time on your errands, they would certainly punish him for it instead of yourself!

In the whole district, everyone else knew better than to associate with this violent troublemaker, avoiding him at any cost - it went so far as people telling horror stories about Gyutaro, to keep their children away from him. But you admired the quiet and hardworking young fighter, knowing behind the hard shell he built there was heart of gold hidden beneath.

Even though he was poor and not favoured by any luck, he was always insisting on paying you back somehow...

...and when both of you grew older, he would finally be able to return the favor.

Thanks to your care - instead of starving to death as fate wanted him to - Guytaro had grown into a beast of a young man, finally able to be useful somehow as a debt collector. He prided himself in his combat skills, and his services were free when it came to you. Any troublesome customer, every person trying to mess with you he would make them all pay.

Soon, everyone knew that one of the most desired woman in the red light district had a protector who was just as hideous as you were beautiful.

"The beauty and the beast", or so they said.

However more often than not, you'd thank him in your own way. It was ridiculous now that he thought of it: His miserable self having this beautiful girl beneath him, completely at his mercy, ravishing you whenever he wanted - and he was insateable.

Your moans were like music in his ears, almost deluding him to belief

you honestly enjoyed your secret, shared nights. Gyutaro was simply unable to stop himself when you offered him your affection - his safe haven was in your arms, after all...

...and now that his memory had returned, his heart was longing for you once again.

It was already far beyond midnight when you noticed that the air in your room had shifted.

Still, your mind was drifting back to this afternoon where Warabihime had this unexplainable outburst of emotions - very unlikely for a cold and reserved person like herself.

Sadly, every single time you saw her it would painfully remind you of that silly dream you once had: Becoming the Oiran of a Great House, and with that influence you'd be able to take in Ume and even Gyutaro without anyone daring to object.

All of you could have a good life like this - not the one you wished for, obviously, but you'd survive and be together. This was all you ever wanted. And maybe, just maybe you'd be able to buy yourself to freedom one day...

Albeit this naive wish would get destroyed as soon as you turned eighteen, with your superiors finding out that their gorgeous little doll was not a virgin anymore. They always scolded you to heed their warnings, and now they were certain that Gyutaro had violated you against your will, no matter how hard you pleaded for mercy on his stead.

The only thing they had in mind was finding an excuse, for they had already promised your first night away to a rich foreigner - and someone had to pay the price for their ruined business. On that very same night you had been cast out from your former home, only the prayers of those evil housekeepers would be heared...

...since their problem with the Shabana siblings would resolve itself. Their bodies were never found, though you had been searching until your bare feet went numb in the cold of that harsh winter, never stopping to call out for them even when you found yourself unable to move.

A benevolent man found you and - most likely thanks to your youth and beauty - decided to accept you into his house, in a better part of the Entertainment District. Your past didn't matter to him, and as soon as you'd work hard he promised you a bright future.

Wasn't this what you've always wanted?

No - not without them.

Everything felt empty and meaningless without your unusual family. Together you had surpassed so many hardships, and yet you haven't been there for them in their darkest hour.

This just wasn't fair. Ume was only a child, and over the years you felt more like a mother to her than the woman that birthed her. And Gyutaro, to you he was...

Why was it that only you had survived? How come you've always had it so much more easier than those two?

Every single day you wished that you had just died with them back then - and yet there you are, keeping on going because you thought this was what they would've wanted for you: To find happiness in their place, keeping them in your heart so they'd share it with you.

A creak of the floor got you down to earth again, and your depressing thoughts were immediately forgotten. You jumped up to sit on the futon, every nerve of your body on high alert as the sound of heavy pants drang to your ear.

The person in your room had seemingly entered through your window, even though you were in the highest floor - no human could reach this point, even with a ladder.

You knew exactly what this meant.

All the tales could not prepare you for the inevitable, imminent demise that awaited you...

...and yet you were perfectly calm, as if you had only anticipated the sweet mercy of death. You had only wondered when the demons preying on the finest selection of woman in the Entertainment District would come to visit - no, to take you.

You felt the figure lurkin in a dark corner of your room staring holes into your back, yet you couldn't muster up the courage to take in his appearance.

"No one will miss me" you spoke with a low voice, defeated even. "I have nothing to live for."

A sole tear ran down your cheek, only now realizing that the concept of death was still able to horrify you. "If you are going to kill me, I beg of you: Please do it quick."

"No."

How weird. The sound of this sole word was able to make your heart race even faster than you thought possible.

"You've always been good to me, ya know?" Gyutaro awkwardly shifted from one foot to another, rubbing the back of his head while stumbling across his words. "Eh, so I won't hurt you."

Your glossy eyes widened at the demon's response. That voice, this hoarse, throaty voice...impossible. It can't be!

Now your tears ran free at the realization, streaming down your face like a river - but when you wanted to turn around, the figure had already leaped besides you faster than your mind could catch up on.

A firm hand on your scalp stopped you from moving your head, claws softly fondling with your hair as the man whispered something only barely audible, as if afraid.

"Don't look at me..." His hand was shaking, almost like he was holding himself back from doing something unspeakable shall you not listen to his words. "...please...."

And still, you did. If you were wrong, you'd die without regrets...

...but if the man was really who you thought it to be, then you trusted him with all your life. He would never harm you in any way.

You gasped when you saw your old friend - not out of fear but plain surprise. It was as if a reanimated corpse was standing in your room after all, quite literally.

Otherwise, his silhouette remained almost the same as back then, asides from the lime ombre of his hair. And he was way taller than you remembered him, towering widely over your shivering self. Just a few years ago, he was way smaller than you due to the malnutrition. Scythes were hooked to his baggy pants, which only held onto his prominent hipbones, revealing his unnatural and twisted anatomy.

A scowl was stretched across his greyish pale face, underlined by his bloodshot, sunken in eyes glaring at you menacingly - yet also incredibly vulnerable, as if he wanted to hide from your sight.

"I see you've become even prettier over the years, eh?" he spat both amazed and also with so much anger, the sound of his voice alone made your guts twist and turn sickly.

"Good for you, huh" he continued his envy, clawing on himself to calm his nerves. You could only watch in shock as he deeply teared apart his skin, revealing parts of his flesh wide open just to heal immediately.

Oh, how he wanted to tear off that tender skin of yours as well - clean yourself from where others had probably touched you - and devour every little bit, so you'd always be a part of him.

Countless times Gyutaro had mutiliated young maidens to bring forth the true ugliness they carried inside - but with you, it was a different, more profound and yet selfish desire...

...to want and keep you all for himself, just as he remembers you: Kind and humble and pure as the sunlight he had to avoid at all cost.

Pathetic. Worthless. Menace. Unloveable Freak. Get lost. Never come back. You attract bad luck. Do you want to ruin her too? You fucking Monster. Just die!

The voices in his head were particulary irritating at this moment, not even the pain of his ripped apart flesh being able to calm his mind. It was throwing words hard as granite at his already unstable self, repeating every teaching people had hammered into him, forcing him to belief it to be the truth.

Yeah, surely you are only frozen in fear and will start screaming any moment now. Struggling against his touch, vocalizing your loathing for him before running for dear life. Leaving him yearning for affection and closeness like they all did, wishing for him to cease to exist...

...however, the expected metahphorical blow that would shatter the remains of his heart never came.

"G-Gyuu-chan?" His name sounded so good with your voice, he wanted it on tape. And your eyes, those bright orbs that could never lie leading him directly to the truth within your soul: What he detected in them was nothing but relief and sheer love - meant for him and him only.

You dared moving, trying to get on your feet eventually - even though the man eyed you varily, leaping back to gain some distance. "I-Is that really you? What happened?!"

The demon's smile faltered at that very moment, the pressure on his jaw so intense that you thought to hear his teeth break...

...though when you stumbled right into his arms, grabbing his wrists to keep him from scratching himself, he didn't fight back - instead being frozen in place as he felt your delicate body against his. Your fingertips were tracing along the bony structures of his back, causing him to suck in a both pained and pleasured breath.

"Why...?" was all he could choke out in between strangled sobs, his hands subconsciously wandering to embrace you. "Everyone always looked at me as if I was some kind of monster, and now that I actually am one...why are you not disgusted?"

Your scent was intoxicating, the feeling of your soft skin pressing against his sweet torture. Gyutaro's face was buried in your neck, mouth so close to your pulsating vein that he feared he might lose control.

For a few minutes, loud cries echoed through the room as you weeped to your hearts extend, softly hitting against the demon's bare chest. "I was so lonely without you! How dare you? How could you leave me alone like this?!"

Unable to look into your eyes, the demon's glare darted around the almost empty room, furnished with only the most necessary items - but then his glare got stuck on something, which made his breath catch inside his throat once again:

There was a shrine to honor the deceased - with his and Ume's names on it.

"Wha-" you choked on a sob, needing to feel his body, his warmth as if to confirm that this wasn't in fact just a dream. "What about your sister? Is she also-"

"Yes." Gyutaro squeezed the sides of your forearms ever so slightly, to try and keep himself from trembling yet to no avail. A wave of guilt threatened to drown him, for this part of his consciousness was locked away for a reason.

He alone was responsible for it all. His presence - no - every single touch of him was like poison, tainting everyone he ever dared to let close. You and Ume were so different from him, even though with similar circumstances. Both of you had so much potential to achieve something and lead a better life, if it wasn't for him being with you, dragging you down.

Indeed: His influence had drained the life out of both of you, robbed you of every ounce of hope. He was beyond help from the very start. And if only he had never been born, then you and Ume wouldn't have to suffer the way you did.

"Forgive me, 'Taro..."

You took the words right out of his mouth, leaving him tongue-tied much to his own shame. To him, you had been a mystery from the very first time you've met, and you never failed to surprise him again and again and again.

"I should've helped you through this that night" you continued, sniveling and hiccuping harshly. "But I wasn't there. I'm so terribly sorry!"

"There, there." It was hard to speak for the demon, heavy emotion laying on his throat, constricting it like barbwire - but seeing you like this pulled him out of that dark pit in his mind.

There were only a few more important matters than his deep-rooted hatred for himself, and your wellbeing was one of them.

"We were so damn young back then, ya know?" he hushed you, gently petting your head just like he always used to. "What could you have done? It's not your fault."

His face grimaced in an attempt to be reassuring, lips contorting into a toothy grin and revealing razor-sharp fangs where once only rotten teeth threatened to fall out. "You have such a pretty face, eh? Don't stain it with tears for someone like me."

"Only you are worth it!" you objected, and he would lie if he claimed that this statement didn't make his chest swell with pride. "Because you were the only one that saw me."

This spiral of jealousy, hate and revenge that blinded him had turned him from an innocent victim to a truly ruthless monstrosity - yet the love he held for you never ceased, not even when his demonic nature took over his human mind.

And he had saved you as well, even though he was unaware of this fact.

"You liked me for who I was, and not just my beauty" you ultimately declared, pressing yourself against him as if he was to disappear again if you let go. Compared to everything he's been through, this might sound ridiculous - yet his hug wouldn't falter, rather securing you even more firmly.

In the Entertainment District, where looks were everything, no one cared about your true self. All those years, people - especially men - had always ever taken from you. They came and used you like a toy without will, as if you had no personality at all. Every single time, they'd slowly kill another part inside of you, leaving you empty.

But not him, not Gyutaro.

Even though they called him 'The One That Takes', he alone could give you something no one ever before did: A home, and feeling of belonging.

With him, you always felt seen and cared for. Listened to, no matter how insignificant your thoughts might be. The man, even though inexperienced, was so gentle, so thoughtful to your wishes and desires, so loving with every touch and word that it made you wax in his hands.

You were his salvation and the other way around - and every second you spent with each other was making you feel more alive than every other moment of your existence.

"I never got to thank you, Y/N" he answered, still dwelling in those pity sentiments he had thought to have long since forsaken. "Me neither. But no matter how things ended this way, we can work this out. We have to. We will!"

Eventually, Gyutaro dared to bring his face closer to yours, neither of you having an intention to ever let go again. And when the gap between your lips closed, you knew that he finally understood.

Everything will turn out just as it's meant to be. And as long as you're together, you have everything you ever needed - and overcome anything fate has prepared for you!

"If it's you, Y/N, then I'll belive it as well. We will never be separated again, alright?"

[delicrieux]

☆ﾐ 𝚖𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚜𝚊𝚢 “𝚘𝚑”

PART 13: ...O-OH?

it’s the night of the big stream. y/n uncovers a strange, albeit deep, bond with charlie. corpse interrupts her garden date with sykkuno quite unceremoniously. tensions are high as ever; proximity chat reveals internal monologues and stray thoughts. y/n’s “batshit insane” energy affects everyone. this is, quite literally, the best game of among us bretman has ever played.

─── corpse husband x reader, sykkuno x reader (if you squint, it’s very one sided)  ─── soc. media + written fiction! ─── word count: 6.1k oops ─── ❥ reqs: sum people requested some interaction w bretman + jealous corpse + flirty sykkuno

author’s note: guys....GUYS WE’RE ON THE 3RD “OH” hope ur excited cus i am!!! this was rly fun to write, but then again, everything is better than writing an essay lmao! this is extremely chaotic and a bit seggsy but like a minuscule bit u wont even notice it i swear xx there’s not much social media in this one, mostly written lol. as always lmk wat u think n thank u for all ur kind words n sooo manyyyy ideassss!!! love u lots

ultimate masterlist.  ҉  myso masterlist   ҉   previous. ҉   next.

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It’s happening, you think, picking the discreet, angelic white color for your astronaut - with a halo and all, truly, you are a seraph that stepped through the gates of heaven and descended onto earth to grace these morals with your presence...quite literally, you’re not only donning white in game, but also in real life, cute as a button or more like as a bunny. Cat girls are overrated - cat boys, on the other hand, you’ll ardently defend till your last breath - but bunny girls...Safe to say, your chat had been going feral. Your endless ego is fed well. You even swore on your heart that no devilish trickery would follow in this game - you had left your snake ways behind you.

No one believed you. The Roaches know you too fucking well.

The influx of new subs, however, do not. Look at this cute girl! She wouldn’t hurt a fly! You chuckle at the compliments. At the exact same moment, Rae pipes up on the discord call, “Y/n is leering and cackling evilly. No one trust her.”

Demon woman herself must be watching your stream before starting her own. You pout, all adorable and innocent, but your eyes gleam slyly. Truly, a mastermind of manipulation! Look at you go! The chat is swooning. The viewer number steadily climbs past 16K and you hum happily, welcoming all that decided to join your little clan, “Don’t listen to Rae. Wifey is mad because I said I’m not bringing her back a souvenir. Well guess what, bitch, I’m the gift.”

Your perfect image does not quite align with your tone, nor the affectionate nickname you call your roommate (bitch, not wifey). The new viewers are none the wiser though, just like your new stream mates.

There is laughter from people you don’t quite know. The lobby is almost full, but not everyone has trickled in yet.

“Filing divorce papers right now.” Rae mumbles, but you hear the smile in her voice. It makes you crack a grin, too. 

More hello’s and shy introductions to the people in the lobby. Sykkuno’s green astronaut pops in with a upbeat, “Hey, everyone! Hi, Y/n!” as his character circles around yours. A collective awww echoes in your stream chat as you, quite breathless at the wholesomeness, reply with a “Hi! Hi hi!” as well.

Corpse is next to join, mysteriously ominous. The discord call is pure chaos, everyone screaming over the other variations of his name while stressing different syllables. Silent as a grave, he just stands there, his black astronaut seemingly eyeing everyone in the lobby. 

Alas, when the noise dies down, he utters, “Whaddup, baby.” and it’s pandemonium all over again. You are screeching/laughing along with the rest. His astronaut swiftly glides to Sykkuno, still circling around you, “Hey, Sykkuno.” He says. The latter abruptly stops. The game hasn’t even started, and already - betrayal! Sykkuno starts circling around Corpse now, leaving you in the dust.

“Hey, dude!”

“Yo,” You interrupt, “I’m like here too, yeah?”

“Fight, fight, fight!” Pokimane jeers. You can’t see her, but you’re certain she’s pumping her fists in the air. 

“Let’s leave the bloodshed for the game, yeah?” Dream offers past her laugh ridden urging.

“No, fuck that, let’s start this shit right now,” Charlie declares - his monotone is strangely pleasant to the ear, and you lean back in your chair with a thoughtful hum. Something about his energy just clicks with yours instantly, but perhaps you’re judging too quickly- “Got my fucking knife ready to slit some throats. You can all pretend you aren’t ready to kill on sight, but that’s not me. I’ll teabag your dead fucking body.”

-yeah, no, your initial estimate had been correct! What a pleasant surprise, you feel like you and he will get along beautifully. 

“Way to be subtle, Charles.” Rae snorts.

“Subtle doesn’t make an interesting game, Rae,” He’s quick to bite back, “and if I’m Impostor, you bet your fucking ass I’m going after you first.”

“Noooooo!” She shrieks, rushing to your astronaut, which is still just standing there, abandoned, like the equivalent of that one emoji, “Y/n, protect me.”

“Of course, baby.” You purr. 

There’s mumbling in the discord call, though it’s barely audible. Corpse seems to be repeating the word to himself: Baby...Baby?...Baby...

“You’re gonna stab me in the back the first chance you get, won’t you?” She questions, already painfully aware of the answer.

“You know it!”

“Finally, someone that’s not fucking cowering in their boots and flaunting their real nature.” Charlie says, “Y/n, form a Big Dick Alliance with me.”

“Oh for sure, man.” You agree immediately, trailing to his in game figure, “Let’s show these virgins how it’s done.”

“This is going to be a mess, isn’t it?” Sean’s voice rings with a cheerful laugh, making you flustered. Yes, you’re actually playing with THE JacksepticeyeTM. You still haven’t fully wrapped your head around that part, “I’m very excited to see where this will go.”

“Nowhere good.” You say with unparalleled sincerity - every word you speak to him, the icon, the legend, the one of the few youtubers you actually actively follow, must be genuine. You doubt you can lie to him. He’s too good of a person. You admire him too much. Stuck between wanting to be a shady bitch and an absolute saint, you refrain from addressing him more - you are simply not worthy.

its the y/n trying to act like a normal person in front of jack for me

ikr she looks ready to join the monastery

each day we stray closer to gods light???

Your viewers are snide as always. Gosh, you love them.

The last player pops in, fashionably late, “Hey, y’all.”

“Hey, Bretman!” The call choruses somewhat harmoniously.

“Hi, daddy.” He’s speaking to Corpse now, a smile in his voice - you can hear it even past the static of his atrocious mic. Your eyes widen, eyebrows shooting up. Your friends are cackling, but confusion refrains you from doing the same - were you not the only one Corpse offered, seemingly so long ago!, to be his sugar baby? 

One betrayal after the other. You’re glad for the Big Dick Alliance. The name has a nice right to it, too. 

Corpse laughs, “...Hey, Bretman. How are you today?”

Damn, two sentences for him, but not even a word spoken to you!? You’re already scripting a very melodramatic paragraph you will text him after the stream. With poorly masked discontent, you mutter, “Wow, thanks for such a warm welcome, Corpse, my day’s going great, yeah, loving the company.”

“Now now miss girl,” Bretman chimes, “we can’t be all daddy’s favorite.”

“Careful,” Charlie drones, “I think you just got yourself onto Y/n’s shit list.”

“Right next to Corpse Husband and Valkyrae.” You agree, “Sykkuno!” You suddenly call him.

“Uhm-Uh-Yes?” Is his nervous reply.

“You’re safe.” You state coldly, “For now.”

“You are not going after Sykkuno on my watch.” It must be a belated holiday miracle because Corpse finally decides to address you. His words seem to awake something in him, “Hey-Hey-Hey-” He swiftly glides to you, standing right next to your minute virtuous angel, “When are you coming back to Cali?”

corpse stop acting weird challenge

literally omg lmao

he does bring up a good point y/n y u not in cali yet?!

^pack it up corpse simp he disrespected the queen when he didnt say hi

“Back off, buddy,” Charlie interjects, “this spot is for Big Dick Alliance members only.”

“I’m never returning.” You inform him, your voice cold like the Arctic snow, and the look in your eyes is no kinder. You feel like you’re having a stare down through screen. 

Silence stretches. Is this an intimidation tactic? Because if it is, it’s a paltry one. Your conviction to be petty is stronger than any vulnerability you might feel.

“Then I have nothing to say to you.” He admits and fucks right off with that. Fine, go join Sykkuno and Rae in their little corner of betrayal! Friendship ended with Corpse, now Charlie is your best friend.

“Okay, guys, guys, guys-” Toast, noting this is going to spiral any minute now, tries to catch their attention, “Let’s start?!”

You look into your camera, and the roaches know what you’re thinking. You’re twins like that, communicating telepathically. You are taking back your tender promise of not being a conniving bastard. It’s fucking on. You will destroy everyone in your path, starting with the guy you have a stupid crush on - maybe?! Feelings are confusing, you’d rather just not think point blank period.

With no objections from the cast, the counter ticks away seconds and, for the first round, you’re stuck as CREW MATE.

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Charlie is a gift. Truly, you had not expected such a sudden, wonderful relationship to bloom. How have you not known of him sooner?! It’s a crime that you hadn’t spoken to him earlier. You are a 100% certain if you had found him before you started streaming, he would’ve been a big inspiration. 

The two of you do your silly little tasks and curse like sailors, commenting about this and that thanks to proximity chat. You wouldn’t have been able to stand the claustrophobic silence if it was just a normal Among Us game - to think, missing out on all his foully worded quips! It almost springs a tear into your eye. He’s just as unhinged as you.

worried about this dynamic 

its a trainwreck lol i love it plz collab more plz

Caught in a headed discussion in Electrical - TikTok trends, or audios specifically - you defend the app the best you can. Charlie thinks it’s super cringe, and you insist it’s part of the charm as you connect wires.

“I mean, have...-do you know that one audio, the one that goes, like,” You’re spilling your words, heated, frustrated that he’s so dismissive of the app that literally saved 2020, “it goes like, uhm,” You clear your throat, prep your voice - even take a sip of your favorite drink. Drawing the syllables, you try your best to make it drop an octave - it must sound like you’re doing an atrociously bad and nauseatingly scratchy Corpse impression with an extra dramatic flair, “My assssssss, your cockkk, you do the mathhh.”

“Did-Did I just-” You freeze hearing Corpse’s voice, finally done with your task. Charlie is muffling his laughter behind his palm; Corpse’s astronaut stands in the doorway, “What the fuck did I just walk into?” He seems genuinely confused, though a strangely winded. You’re mortified. Your shoulders are shaking. You look at the stream chat but it’s going too fast for you to follow. Manic laughter bubbles in your chest and you squeeze your eyes shut, mouth split into a toothy grin, lowering your head and trying to hide the blush dusting your cheeks.

“Hey? Guys? What the fuck are you talking about?” He questions again.

“Honestly?” Charlie chimes, “No fucking clue. TikTok, I think. Ask Y/n.”

You can’t reply. You’re crying. You cover your face with your palms, muttering a soft oh my god before bursting into a full blow laugh, throwing your head back, the motion accidentally knocking your headphones off.

“Y/n.” Corpse calls you, “Fuck was that?”

You’re howling. Your stomach hurts. There are literal tears in your eyes. You think Charlie might be laughing too, but you can’t really tell over your loud screeching. Hastily fixing your headphones, you wipe away the tears stuck to your lower lashes, heaving, “S-Sorry, I-” You stutter, breaking into another fit of giggles. Corpse patiently waits you to calm down. Catching your breath, you start again with a sniffle, “TikTok, yeah.” You idly fix your hair, trying to bite down a smile, “It’s an audio.”

“What- What kind of videos are you watching?”

“The good kind.” Your reply is instant, merciless, “Also, why are you here? We’re having a BDA meeting, you know.”

“I-I...” He trails off, “I...I heard people talking and...I just came here to check it out, but...I’m regretting it.” There’s a lilt in his voice, and you know he doesn’t regret jack shit. You bet he’s smiling. You wish you could see it.

“Bitch, then leave!” You huff. You aren’t sure what is with him today, and you don’t want to stick around and find out - his playfulness makes your stomach flip at the most inappropriate times! Like when you’re trying to sound threatening. You must retreat posthaste, “No, wait, I’ll do it for you.” You say, brushing past his character. Charlie follows after you.

“Dude, you’re so fucking lucky neither of us are the Impostor because you’d be deader than I’ve been feeling since I was 10.” Your favorite companion comments. Charlie is truly a modern wordsmith. You’re pretty sure you adore him, because you’re nodding your head, so quick to agree with him that even you’re surprised. 

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A meeting is called. You spare a glance at your fallen crew mates. They will be missed. Sean most of all, God, why does heaven always take the good ones?! The game feels emptier without him, even if you really only passed him once on your trek to Cafeteria with Charlie.

You may or may not have been avoiding him, afraid you’d accidentally say something horrible and he would hate you. It’s a silly fear, though a deep one. And with Charlie keeping you company, you had not uttered a single objectively  good, or even coherent, sentence. Your parents can’t watch this stream once it’s uploaded onto your Youtube channel. They know you’re barely keeping it together in most of your videos, but here, now? Yeah, no. Charlie is already hard to listen to on his own for sensitive viewers, and hearing you agree with literally everything he says with your own chaotic ideas? Your dad would stumble into an early grave.

Mom probably wouldn’t mind too much, but you’d have to explain your relationship status again. She is under the assumption that everyone you collab with is your significant other. You’d say it began with Sykkuno, though the exclamation of “Finally! My daughter isn’t pathetically single! We need to celebrate.” had started with Rae. Truly, a scandal.

Speaking of which, Sykkuno is gone, too, but you had time to mourn him already. You found his body roughly ten minutes ago; so torn with the fresh agony of heartbreak, you could not do anything else but cry. It was Charlie, bless his heart, that reported it.

“Someone killed Jack,” You say, voice dripping with venom, “court is now in session. I’m ready to vote the fucker out.”

People speak all at once. Toast roars over them, “ORDER! ODER IN COURT!” as he slams his hand onto his desk repeatedly. That seems to work, though briefly.

“I think it’s Y/n.” Corpse says. You stare at him, hand gripping your heart, mouth falling open in surprise.

flame him

corpse boutta be a corpse fr

beat his ass queen!!!!!

“Pardon my french,” You grumble, “but nani the fuck?!”

“It’s definitely Y/n, I found her and Charlie conspiring in Electrical. Surrealist experience of my fucking life, but it’s definitely her.”

“Dude, we’ve been over this,” Charlie sighs, shushing Rae who was about to comment something - knowing your luck, it was probably in favor of the man throwing you under the bus, “we would’ve snapped your fucking neck the moment you walked in. But we didn’t.”

“Yeah, we didn’t.” Corpse notes, “I said nothing about you, I’m just saying it’s definitely her. She probably didn’t kill in front of you because of your stupid alliance-”

“Someone sounds salty because he wasn’t invited.” Pokimane snickers.

“-or possibly she did tell you and you won’t betray her for the exact same reason.”

“That’s some big brain logic you pulled there, genius,” Charlie says, absolutely unimpressed, “sure you didn’t have an aneurysm trying to connect all of that together?”

“Well,” Rae pipes up, “Y/n and Charlie did say they will kill right before the game started. If you ask me, it’s not unbelievable. And Sykkuno was sorta on the shit list.”

“I’m writing down your name twice, Rachell.” You spit.

“Not helping your case at all, Y/n...” Dream worries, “And Rae makes a good point. Charlie and you have professed desire for murder. I’m just saying! It’s a bit suspicious, you know?”

The next words to leave Corpse’s lips sound incredibly smug, “See?” He drawls.  The pressure is getting to you - you don’t understand where this beguiling talent of his to convince literally everyone comes from, but it doesn’t inspire any confidence. Your fist suddenly feels incredibly lonely, so useless - oh, how you long to swing at him, “It’s definitely Y/n.”

“I dunno...” Toast mumbles.

“It’s Y/n.”

“Corpse-” You try, but he's ignoring you - shocker, as if he hadn’t been doing that from the very start of this stupid game - and chanting your name like it’s a fucking mantra or something, a smile in his voice, knowing, relishing in the fact that he’s grating on your nerves, “FIRST OF ALL,” You scream into the mic, successfully cutting him off; catching your breath, you exhale, and continue, calmly, lowly,  “get my pretty name out of your mouth.” 

There’s a pause full of tense silence. 

Then, there’s a sound, seemingly stuck in the back of his throat, “...O-Oh...?”

“Second of all,” You continue, words like honey dipped in arsenic, “This is the clearest smear campaign I have ever witnessed. By how hard you’re trying to frame me for fuck knows what reason, I’m led to believe it’s you that killed them. You’re the Impostor.”

“Corpse wouldn’t kill Sykkuno, though.” Rae comments, skeptical.

“Then the other Impostor did it.” You counter.

“Maybe you’re both Impostors.” Pokimane chirps.

“Y/n would never betray the Big Dick Alliance like that.” Charlie states.

You grin, “Charlie, I literally love you.” 

“Wait hold up now,” Corpse seems to get his bearings together, “what’s this about love I’m hearing?”

“I have none for you, dick.” You snap, flipping him off. Your chat cheers. While he can’t see it, you hope he senses it through the screen, “I officially hate you.”

“No, wait-”

“Boo, Corpse, you suck.” Toast laughs.

“Y/n, please-”

“Let’s all vote for Corpse Husband, okay?” You say it like it’s his full official name with an encouraging smile and multiple soft nods. Sykkuno can’t be here to nod, so you’ll do it for him. You eye the rapidly decreasing timer before clicking on Corpse’s figure and voting for him. The VOTED icon instantly pops up beside your adorable astronaut.

“Baby, I-” It slips past his lips so easily, as if he’s not even thinking about it, like it’s only natural to call you that and a spike of anxiety shoots up, making you glare. It’s only halfhearted. You try your best to ignore the rapid and uncoordinated pulses of your heart. Replace unwanted feelings with anger and hate - works like a charm, every time.

“You are not allowed to call me that.” You hiss. The chat spams snake emojis. 

“Wait-” Bretman chimes, “Hold up, y’all, slow down a minute. Why does Corpse never call me baby?”

“Yeah!” Pokimane agrees, “I want to be baby, too!”

Pokimane may not have been called baby, but you just single-handedly decided her nickname for her - Target 4. Welcome to the shit list, she is officially your public enemy number 1. You aren’t sure why the thought of Corpse ever referring to anyone else as baby makes you sick to your stomach (you actually do know why, but brain no think at the moment), but you wish this whole conversation never happened. You don’t like it.

20 seconds left. More VOTED icons appear by your friends. Corpse is the last one to cast his ballot at, you assume, you, as the rest wait for his quick explanation before everyone (or not) returns to the game, “...Because she’s my baby.”

Goodbye. Life had been sweet, and there was sorrow, though the amount of embarrassment you feel now is worse than when the internet found your cringe worthy high school pictures on your mom’s Facebook. It’s a mixture of dread and excitement - the pleasure of being noticed, cherished even, though anxious from vulnerability. Someone is screaming a very prolonged “WHAAAAT?!”, or maybe multiple people are, you aren’t sure, your ears start to hurt from the loud, conflicting cacophony of voices as you stare blankly at the screen. You received two votes, just like Corpse, Charlie got one, the rest skipped. With no one flung out, you all find yourself back in Cafeteria again.

Baby. My baby? My baby. My baby. The sentence is playing ping-pong in your mind, reverberating louder each time. You’re actually speechless for the first time in your life; your chest hurts, your heart beating so fast your hands start shaking. Had he meant it? Or was this a some joke? Was he trying to get a rise out of you again? You might just go insane from so many questions. My baby. Holy shit, this is a heart attack, this is what a heart attack feels like, dear God, you figured you at least had ten years before you get one!

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First round ends with IMPOSTORS raining victorious. Your sixth sense had been working wonders since, true to you previous estimate, it had been Corpse. His companion was Pokimane. For absolutely no reason what’s so ever, you change her name once more from Target 4 to Target 1. Normally, you’re all for girls supporting girls. Men don’t deserve anything, really, but now you’re so flustered and still reeling from what you are 80% sure was cardiac arrest that you genuinely don’t care about your established morals.

Round two starts without much deliberation. You get CREW MATE again; the game must sense your growing bloodlust, making sure that once you do get IMPOSTOR, you will not hold back. True power is granted to those who are ready and strong enough to wield it. You wait for your moment with bated breath.

Charlie is taken from you too early. The two of you were once again caught in a discussion - God knows about what, Minecraft, hentai, oh! your server! - as you tried to card swipe for the umpteenth time. The lights blew out and you just knew one of you was getting murdered there and then. Charlie’s voice abruptly cut off, and you think a part of you died with him.

It’s a cold meeting; with your new best friend being the first to go, everyone decides to skip. You proclaim you seek vengeance. When the meeting comes to an end, Sykkuno is the first to offer his condolences.

“I’m sorry, Y/n.” He says, and while he’s not in Brooklyn, you somehow feel him patting your back. You feign a sniffle.

“There’s nothing to apologize for...” You murmur sadly, “Unless...” Your voice turns sharp as the knife that was surely twisted into Charlie’s back, “It was you?”

“NO!” He exclaims, “I would never-you gotta believe me! I would never kill him. I know he’s important to you. I wouldn’t do that, I swear.”

“He was like a brother to me.” You admit, solemn, “Charlie, if you’re haunting me right now, know I will avenge you. I will not let this go.”

Sykkuno hums, circling around you, “Hey, I have a task in Greenhouse. Would you, uh--Would like to, uhm, join me?” Despite the shaky start, he finishes on a firm, pleasant note. He’s trying to cheer you up. Having lost your closest friend, he’s offering you his company. You accept with a soft smile and a cute “Yes, please!” and he releases an airy little laugh. The two of you make your way to your favorite place in map MIRA.

It’s difficult to stay sad for long when Sykkuno’s so sweet; the atmosphere of the Greenhouse is strangely calming; your problems seem to be left behind the shut doors. If you tried hard enough, you could imagine being in an actual Greenhouse - the warm, damp air clinging to your skin, the unmistakable smell of earth and vegetation, the pleasant silence broken only by yours and his hushed voices and clumsy footsteps.

The two of you are talking. Mainly about your choice of attire. Cat first, Sykkuno ponders aloud, doing his task as you watch the plants grow, now bunny, what’s next? You affirm that you will most likely dress up in cow-print next, or as an adorable sheep. He laughs, admitting you’ll look good in anything before he trails off. His awkwardness is really endearing. 

“Or!” You chirp happily, content with being locked away with him for the whole game. The idea must be playing in his mind, too, because he seems in no rush to leave, “I could, like, dress as someone from My Hero Academia. I watched the stream you did with Stella, the one where she made you look like Todoroki. It was really cute. You were really cute.”

“Oh, uhm-well, uh, thank you, thanks, I, uhm-” He clears his throat, and despite his stutter, you hear the smile in his voice, “I-I think you’d look better, though. Not as Todoroki. Or, probably as Todoroki, too. But, uhm, what character are you thinking about?”

“Maybe Momo?”

“Momo!” He yeps, “Momo is good. Yeah, she’s great. You’ll-uhm-you’ll look amazing. Really. Momo is awesome. Very pretty. Just like you.”

You are blushing. A stupid, toothy grin makes your cheeks hurt. Your eyes flicker to the chat, but again, it’s going wild. Giggling, you thank him for his sweet words, so giddy it’s honestly embarrassing. Why can’t you stop smiling? This is incriminating. You hide your lips behind your palm.

“...What’s this?” Corpse question. You had failed to note his sudden appearance, too busy gushing. “Am I interrupting?”

“Hey, Corpse!” Sykkuno greets. For someone so awkward and shy, he sure is good at hiding it when he wants to. Perhaps it’s all an act and you had been deviously tricked! Probably not, but you can’t help but narrow your eyes suspiciously, finally able to calm down. You definitely underestimated him, you just haven’t figured out how yet, “Not really! Y/n was sad Charlie died so I took her here.”

“You interrupted our date, dipshit.” You deadpan. 

“...Fuck you say?” Corpse dares, his voice low and somewhat menacing - for someone who exclusively portrays his emotions through only his voice, he’s incredibly hard to read. This is payback. Your love for wreaking havoc resurfaces suddenly. Serves him right for pulling all this ignoring shit at the start. Maybe you’ll make him say oh again.

Your sly smirk is promptly wiped. Fuck. He said oh, he literally said oh out loud. The Teruhashi fangirl in you is screaming. You had been so caught up in defending yourself you didn’t even register it at first. Alarmed, you look at the camera, then at the chat. First oh, then my baby. There’s no way he had been teasing you, and this proves it. Holy shit. You mouth the words “HE SAID OH!” for your audience only.

now she notices

snail pace baby we’ve been loosing our shit for the past hour 

corpse x y/n saikik au enemies to lovers 500k words slow burn im here for it

opening wattpad rn^

Your heart races in your chest - it might be considered an Olympic medalist at this point; flustered yet again, you wish you could cave into yourself. You should’ve brought your bright blue wig with you to Brooklyn. Turns out it would have been perfect for this stream. Yes, yes thinking about unnecessary details always works in distracting you from the butterflies throwing a fucking rave in your stomach. 

“I guess it is a date!” Sykkuno admits, “Kinda after a funeral, but still.”

Corpse hums. You’re still too stunned to say anything. The black astronaut with adorable cat ears approaches Sykkuno. 

“It’s not.” He states. Your mouth falls open in shock as your date, your companion, the Shoto to your Momo is murdered in cold blood right in front of you. His lifeless body, cut in half, lays on the tiles by the growing flowers, right beside you, “You didn’t see shit.”

“...I didn’t see shit.” Is all you can utter, breathless and terrified.

“Thaaaat’s fucking right, baby.” Corpse coos, “Now I’m gonna report it, and I’ll say we found Sykkuno together. Better stick close to me after the meeting, got it?”

If Sykkuno is Shoto, then Corpse is definitely Dabi. 

why is that kinda hot tho omg

didn’t know i needed dom corpse since now but i do

y/n looks like shes boutta throw up lmao 

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You follow him around like a lost puppy - because what else is left for you to do!? You’re helpless in this situation. He’s got you in the palm of his hand, successfully eliminating everyone you had previously interacted with. First it was Charlie, then Sykkuno, even Sean, who said hello in passing, was shot instantly. Real Sangwoo behavior. You almost want to scream warnings at everyone to not approach you. You cannot mourn another lost crew mate, you don’t think your conscience can take it. But words fail to form. You’re too weak. You fake cry to your audience. They’re quick to remind you to stop acting like a little bitch.

“Mean.” Is all you say, eyeing the comments.

“Hm?”

“Was talking to the roaches.”

“What are they saying?”

“That I should betray you.”

“...Better not.”

A shiver shoots up your spine and you half believe he will bust down your door and drag you into his basement for real. A nervous laugh slips past your lips, “I won’t, I won’t.” You reassure him, “Don’t worry, I’m sticking with you. I haven’t seen shit.”

“I like that you listen to me. You always this agreeable?”

“You’re kinda not giving me a choice right now.” You grumble, vending yourself a drink while he looms behind you, protecting you. From who?! Himself?!

“Oh my fucking God, finally,” Bretman exclaims, “girl, I’ve been running around the whole map trynna find someone, is everyone like, dead?”

You’re scared to reply. Corpse does it for you, “Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, maybe? Not sure. Where have you been?”

“Oh you know,” Bretman grins, “doing tasks, talking shit, the usual. You two are not, like, Impostors right?”

You shoot a look at Corpse, but he obviously can’t see it. Biting your lip, you murmur, “Nope.”

“Just your regular crew mates doing regular crew mate things.” Corpse says, no, purrs. Because that’s not suspicious at all. You’d recommend Bretman to run, and not only because that sounded shady as fuck. But he seems to enjoy danger, or he just doesn’t care.

“Hmmmm, crew mates, sure. Miss girl Y/n,” He’s addressing you now; you smile anxiously, “How come every time I see you, you’re with a different man?! Like damn, leave some for the rest of us, for real!”

You like Bretman. You like his high-pitched whine and drawl. You would like him even more if not for the complex situation at hand. You fear for his life. Chewing at your bottom lip, you snicker, “Sorry, Bret. I can leave you Corpse if you want?”

He laughs, “Girl, I’d say yes so fucking quick, but I know he wouldn’t want that. Normally I wouldn’t care, but y’all are such a cute couple it’s making me not want to be a shady motherfucking bitch. Changing my ways, embracing the lord. Love it.”

 Corpse doesn’t correct him that you are, in fact, not dating. His lack of reaction unnerves you slightly. Does he...? No! No think! Only exist! You catch that train of thought and steer it away from forbidden territory. Looks like it’s up to you to clear the air, and that is exactly what you do after trying to swallow down the lump in your throat, “Uh, we’re not together, actually. We’re just really good friends.”

“Bitch, then move over,” Bretman says snappily,”go like, back to your other boyfriends. Or find another one. I think I saw Dream near Navigation.”

“Near Navigation, huh?” Corpse hums thoughtfully. It’s a subtle warning, but you catch it. Yeah, even if you try running, Dream’s going to join your other ‘boyfriends’ in the afterlife. Granted, killing someone by just talking with them is kind of cool. Or maybe Stockholm Syndrome is finally kicking in, “Bret, the thing is, Y/n’s scared of dying, so she asked me to stay with her.”

It’s disturbing how good at lying he is. It is also really really attractive, as bizarre as that is.

y/n stop being in a toxic relationship with corpse challenge

making fanart of this omg her face

its the blushing for me girl get your head outta the gutter!

^she cant, it lives there

“Baby, you’re gonna fucking die if you stick with her,” Bretman points out, “have you noticed the mortality rate of her partners? Rest in peace, daddy.”

“He’s right, you know.” You mutter, dramatically looking to the side, “I’m no good, Corpse.”

“Not leaving you, end of discussion. Bretman, join us?” Corpse offers, catching you by surprise. He might still be lying, though. Creating a false sense of security before eliminating Bretman. Probably would laugh while doing it, too. Wow, he truly is evil.

Turns out he doesn’t have to do any of that, because when Dream strolls into Cafeteria, he kills Bretman instead. The two Impostors are finally revealed. You promised not to snitch on Corpse, but you didn’t say shit about not exposing Dream. You press the REPORT button and say just that: “Dream just murdered Bret right in front of me and Corpse.”

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The last meeting is called. Dream had been voted out with the help of Corpse, and now only you, he, and Rae remain.

“Baby, you know what to do.”

The VOTED icon pops up beside Corpse’s astronaut. Rae wheezes, “No! Y/n, it’s not me, you gotta believe me, I swear it’s not me!”

“...I really don’t know,” You murmur, “I’ve been with Corpse a lot, and...Rae, I’m not sure...”

“Please! I swear it on my Kagayama cardboard cut out, I’m not the Impostor, please! You know me, I’d never lie to you like this.”

“She’s definitely lying.” Corpse says, sounding pleased.

“Don’t listen to him! Remember, during the first round, when he tried to convince us that you were the Impostor? He’s doing the same shit to me!”

“I also remember you agreeing with him.” You remind her.

“I was stupid! Small dumb brain moment! He was using us to win! He’s using you right now!” She votes, “Please, Y/n, make the right choice.”

You’re silent for a moment.

“I’m gonna...I’m gonna vote for who I think it is.” You lastly say.

A slow, lazy grin makes it’s way onto your lips, eyes gleaming mischievously. You had not forgotten your promise to your brother from another mother, you had not forgotten the pride of the BDA, you had not forgotten your beautiful friendship. Two miniature astronauts pop up by Corpse’s at the exact moment Rae screeches “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES!”

“Fuck.” Is all Corpse says with a laugh.

The screen changes, informing of the first CREW MATE victory.

Your ears are assaulted with different voices as you appear in the lobby.

“Now that’s what I’m fucking talking about.” Charlie raves, “I swear to fucking God, Y/n, you even got me going for a second. Pulled some 1000 IQ shit right there. It was fucking amazing. Best back stabbing I’ve seen in a while, and I’ve seen a lot.”

“That was absolutely fantastic, Y/n.” Sean applauds, “I really thought you joined Corpse like some crew mate accomplice or something. Can’t believe you switched on him at the last second.”

“That’s my wifey!” Rae cheers, strolling to you, “Love you, mwah.”

“Hey, Corpse,” Charlie calls him, “How does it feel to be a fucking loser?”

“I’m surprisingly fine with it.”

yeah he would be lmao

mom is the best snake ever i love you sm y/n

rae and y/n’s friendship....the feeeeeels

As the rest sing your praises for another solid minute or two, the third round begins. CREW MATE again. Though, just because you’re stuck as an underpaid worker in a dying spaceship, it doesn’t mean you’re innocent. Your last round proved that quite well. You can’t help but silently snicker.

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TAGLIST IS CLOSED!

tags (in italics is those i couldn’t tag! make sure all’s ok w your settings!) : @littlebabysandboxburritos - @fairywriter-oracle - @tsukishimawh0re - @ofstarsanddreams - @bbecc-a - @annshit - @leahh19 - @letsloveimagines - @bellomi-clarke - @wineandionysus - @guiltydols - @onephootinfrontoftheother - @liamakorn - @thirstyfangirl - @lilysdaydreams - @pan-ini - @mxqicshxp - @tanchosanke - @yoshinorecommends - @flightsandfantasy - @liljennyx3 - @bingusmode - @unknown-and-invisible - @sinister-sleep - @fivedicksinatrenchcoat - @mercury--moon - @peterparkerspjsuit - @unstableye - @simonsbluee - @shinyshimaagain - @ppopty - @siriuslystupid - @crapimahuman - @ofthedewthesunlight - @mythicalamphitrite - @artsyally - @corpsesimpp - @corpsewhitetee - @corpse-husbandsimp - @hyp-oh-critical - @roses-and-grasses - @rhyrhy462 - @sparklylandflaplawyer - @charbkgo - @airwaveee - @creativedogs - @kaitlyn2907 - @loxbbg - @afuckingunicornn - @fleurmoon - @yeolliedokai

more tags are in the comments bcs tumblr only allows me to tag 50 people max 💙