#disordered attachment
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Normally, in response to perceived threat or danger, the child seeks closeness or protection from caregivers. But, if the parental response is one of active rejection, threats, or severe punishment, the child will feel prolonged distress rather than feeling soothed. When this kind of parental response recurs frequently or for long periods, the child comes to exclude information that would normally activate attachment-related behaviors, with the resulting state one of emotional detachment.
Trauma and the Avoidant Client: Attachment-Based Strategies for Healing | Robert T. Muller
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Being ghosted by a somewhat close friend feels honestly worse than being ghosted by some person you were barely acquainted with.
Having disordered attachment issues from childhood trauma just makes this feel worse. I know that I am a complicated and sometimes volatile person and I have worked on myself literally more than a decade.
I'm just trying to process if there is something specific that I have said or done and it's hard without any concrete explanation. So, I'm left to just mire in my own mud, so to speak.
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I'm ill and i want my mom
#actuallytraumatized#Cptsd#actuallymentallyill#mine#parental abuse#complex trauma#attachment trauma#disordered attachment
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Shout out to people with Complex Dissociative Disorders (parents edition):
If your parents genuinely changed and improved overtime
If your parents were absent when you were a kid because they were sick / ill / working / otherwise indisposed
If your parents were not your abusers
If your parents would have acted differently if they knew you were being abused
If your parents didn't have the resources or knowledge to help / understand you
If your parents were loving and yet still neglectful
If your parents inadvertently invalidated / didn't believe you, but now do
If your parents weren't your primary caregivers when the abuse happend
If you weren't abused at all and your trauma was medical / environmental / etc
Had emotionally and physically present parents but you still had disorganized attachment with them as a kid because of your delusions / paranoia / etc.
If your parents regret how they treated you
If your parents loved and love you but acted the way they did because of substances / mental illness
If your parents are not completely bad people, or bad people at all
If you still get along with your parents regardless of what they did
If you ever invalidated your own traumatic childhood experiences because your parents were "too nice"
Your trauma is not less valid if you get along with your parents today. Sure, you needed disorganized attachment to your primary caregivers as a kid to develop a CDD. But that can take plenty of formes, and they don't all include your parents being monsters.
Edit: any other emotions regarding your parents are also valid and okay, and I couldn't mean that more. Childhood trauma survivors go through so many rough emotions, and self-invalidation is sadly way too common. Your feelings are a direct result of what happened and that makes them normal.
#i didn't see this be talked about much so take this shoutout list#disorganized attachment#actually did#did community#did system#dissociative identity disorder#traumagenic did#actual did#actually dissociative#did osdd#osddid#osdd#osdd system#actually osdd#pdid#pdid system#partial did#ddnos
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Just seasonal self-destruction 😚
#bpd yandere#bpd core#irl yandere#obsessed#obsessive yandere#yanderecore#yandere#bpd attachment#bpd fp#bpd vent#love#actually bpd#bpd feels#bpd thoughts#bpd blog#bpd problems#bpd stuff#bpd#bpd safe#actually borderline#borderline personality disorder#borderline blog#obsession#actually yandere#irl yan#yandere thoughts#yande.re#yan blog#yancore#yanblr
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Latest hobby: radical self-acceptance codependency affirmations
I like to use over-the-top edgy imagery to invoke the ~emo~ sentiments we associate with edge, juxtaposing the aggressively self-loving text. accentuates the punk nature of radical acceptance
#guiltyedits#radical self acceptance#affirmations#codependency#recovering codependent#edgy#grunge#hopepunk#dogs#wolves#cats#life necessity#favorite person#bpd fp#cluster b#personality disorder#trauma#attachment styles#people pleaser#caretaking#manipulation#unhealthy obsession#unhealthy relationships#addiction#behavioral addiction#to thine own self be true#codapunk#autonomy#consent culture#borderline personality disorder
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I killed a part of me to keep you alive.
And u never noticed
#borderline personality disorder#bpd#mental illness#borderline culture is#bpd safe#bpd splitting#bpd thoughts#depressing shit#actually borderline#attachment#alive#survivor#notice#leave me alone
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Apologies without change is manipulation ASSHOLE
#being borderline#borderline personality disorder#borderline thoughts#bpd#bpd feels#bpd shit#quiet borderline#bpd meds#bpd favorite person#bpd fp#bpd awareness#bpd quotes#bpd stuff#bpd traits#actually bpd#bpd mood#bpd splitting#bpd things#bpd vent#bpd thoughts#bpd problems#bpd moment#bpd meltdown#bpd attachment#bpd anger#bpd abandonment#bpd shitposting#bpd safe#bpd struggles#bpd friends
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the root of all pain is attachment
#bpd blog#bpd fp#bpd mood#bpd problems#bpd shit#bpd stuff#bpd thoughts#bpd vent#actually bpd#bpd#bpd feels#bpd safe#bpd culture is#borderline things#being borderline#borderline culture is#borderline problems#living with borderline#borderline blog#borderline pd#borderline thoughts#actually borderline#borderline personality disorder#tw depressing thoughts#tw depressing stuff#attachment issues
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Really starting to feel T’s absence. We have a check-in on Wednesday at least, then he is back next Monday.
Just feel like we barely repaired the dent in trust following the massive attachment trigger, which spanned 3+ weeks, and then I was dumped right into the stupid holiday vacation for another 3 week gap.
Hate this. I want our routine back. And I mean our old routine. Pre pandemic, in his old office, no stupid Zoom. Safety.
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Having disordered attachment + setting hard boundaries with people who have crossed them is so, so very fucking hard.
I haven't stopped ruminating on this one fucking encounter that happened with a person nearly two weeks ago.
Dear brain: please stop.
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bpd is being TERRIFIED of being forgotten but also wishing people couldn’t perceive you. so weird
#actually borderline#actually bpd#being borderline#borderline blog#borderline culture is#borderline pd#borderline thoughts#borderline vent#bpd#bpd blog#mentally unstable#actually mentally ill#borderline problems#borderline life#quiet borderline#living with borderline#borderline personality disorder#borderline#bpd vent#bpd thoughts#bpd culture is#bpd shit#bpd relatable#abandoment issues#attachment issues#i am scared#mental illness#im going insane#bpd mood#bpd problems
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I want my mum
But i don't want my mum
I want a mum that's like a mum
#Iykyk#disordered attachment#attachment trauma#cptsd#I still feel very bad saying this tho#actuallytraumatized#complex trauma#ok to reblog#mine
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sorry, i might disappear from time to time but so does my will to live
#girl blogger#girl hysteria#girlblogging#girlhood#girly aesthetic#hell is a teenage girl#just girly posts#just girly things#just girly thoughts#gaslight gatekeep girlboss#avoidant attachment#anxious avoidant#avoidant personality disorder#delulu#lana del ray aka lizzy grant#bpd splitting#bpd girl#im just a girl#tumblr girls#girlhood is a spectrum#spiraling#girl interrupted#manic pixie dream girl#girly stuff#girl horror#existential horror#tw depressing thoughts#this is a girlblog#crazy girl#girly tumblr
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Investing all my time and energy into an obsession. Either a person or an interest.
Just to get bored of it, or they show me why I shouldn’t, or I just get abandoned in the process.
#bpd core#borderline personality disorder#bpd#bpd attachment#bpd fp#bpd vent#actually bpd#bpd problems#bpd yandere#irl yandere#obsessive yandere#yanderecore#yandere#bpd feels#bpd thoughts#bpd stuff#bpd safe#actually borderline#actually yandere#yande.re#yandere thoughts#bpd blog#love bombing#npd#narcissistic personality disorder#personality disorder#obsession#obsessed#npd traits#love
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I've been emotionally slutty (shown someone I am capable of human feelings) lately, I fear.
#fearful avoidant#avoidant attachment#bpd#actually bpd#npd#actually npd#cluster b safe#actually cluster b#actually narcissistic#borderline personality disorder#actually borderline#npd safe#bpd safe#cluster b
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