#disordered attachment

[angria]

Normally, in response to perceived threat or danger, the child seeks closeness or protection from caregivers.  But, if the parental response is one of active rejection, threats, or severe punishment, the child will feel prolonged distress rather than feeling soothed.  When this kind of parental response recurs frequently or for long periods, the child comes to exclude information that would normally activate attachment-related behaviors, with the resulting state one of emotional detachment.

Trauma and the Avoidant Client: Attachment-Based Strategies for Healing | Robert T. Muller

[elektroskopik]

Being ghosted by a somewhat close friend feels honestly worse than being ghosted by some person you were barely acquainted with.

Having disordered attachment issues from childhood trauma just makes this feel worse. I know that I am a complicated and sometimes volatile person and I have worked on myself literally more than a decade.

I'm just trying to process if there is something specific that I have said or done and it's hard without any concrete explanation. So, I'm left to just mire in my own mud, so to speak.

[was-it-my-fault]

I'm ill and i want my mom

[ch1oecore]

the quiet contemplative tasks my father once completed for me require the type of patience that a man would never grant his wife or daughter

[coolhumanoidbeing]

Shout out to people with Complex Dissociative Disorders (parents edition):

If your parents genuinely changed and improved overtime

If your parents were absent when you were a kid because they were sick / ill / working / otherwise indisposed

If your parents were not your abusers

If your parents would have acted differently if they knew you were being abused

If your parents didn't have the resources or knowledge to help / understand you

If your parents were loving and yet still neglectful

If your parents inadvertently invalidated / didn't believe you, but now do

If your parents weren't your primary caregivers when the abuse happend

If you weren't abused at all and your trauma was medical / environmental / etc

Had emotionally and physically present parents but you still had disorganized attachment with them as a kid because of your delusions / paranoia / etc.

If your parents regret how they treated you

If your parents loved and love you but acted the way they did because of substances / mental illness

If your parents are not completely bad people, or bad people at all

If you still get along with your parents regardless of what they did

If you ever invalidated your own traumatic childhood experiences because your parents were "too nice"

Your trauma is not less valid if you get along with your parents today. Sure, you needed disorganized attachment to your primary caregivers as a kid to develop a CDD. But that can take plenty of formes, and they don't all include your parents being monsters.

Edit: any other emotions regarding your parents are also valid and okay, and I couldn't mean that more. Childhood trauma survivors go through so many rough emotions, and self-invalidation is sadly way too common. Your feelings are a direct result of what happened and that makes them normal.

[linicat]

[met4lwhore]

I killed a part of me to keep you alive.

And u never noticed

[vilea777]

the root of all pain is attachment

[wowlookwhosspirallingagain]

bpd is being TERRIFIED of being forgotten but also wishing people couldn’t perceive you. so weird

[angria]

T just texted me that he had a death in the family and needs to cancel check-ins and he's not sure about sessions next week.

Hate myself that my mood immediately drops and my first thought is to freak out about the possibility of canceled sessions versus feeling sorry. Fuck.

[elektroskopik]

Having disordered attachment + setting hard boundaries with people who have crossed them is so, so very fucking hard.

I haven't stopped ruminating on this one fucking encounter that happened with a person nearly two weeks ago.

Dear brain: please stop.

[guiltyidealist]

Latest hobby: radical self-acceptance codependency affirmations

I like to use over-the-top edgy imagery to invoke the ~emo~ sentiments we associate with edge, juxtaposing the aggressively self-loving text. accentuates the punk nature of radical acceptance

[was-it-my-fault]

I want my mum

But i don't want my mum

I want a mum that's like a mum

[linicat]

[harmoniousbpd]

sorry for vanishing, i tried to kms

[phosphenemoth]

I've been emotionally slutty (shown someone I am capable of human feelings) lately, I fear.