#dick grayson post
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characters have to be a little bit awful in ways that you cant defend. its good for the ecosystem. your honor he did do that. He did in fact do that
#tim drake#bruce wayne#can i just tag the entire batfam.... this applies to all of them i think#all of them deal with their issues by putting on spandex and beating up criminals. none of them are exempt from this post#let them make bad stupid inconsiderate decisions... its funny entertaining and free#batfamily#batfam#jason todd#dick grayson#batman#dc batman#dc comics#additionally:#arthur lester#john doe#malevolent john doe#martin blackwood#jonathan sims#tim stoker#sasha james#elias bouchard#peter lukas#tma#every tma character ever actually. they all suck soso bad ❤️️❤️️#melanie king#daisy tonner#basira hussain#georgie barker#can i tag bruce again. because like
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Bruce Wayne except he texts like an ominous boomer
wdym you can't tell if he's threatening them?
Based on this post by @mysterycitrus :)
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Bonus:
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Happy birthday, Tim 🥰
#duke thought for a minute he was gonna become the protagonist of get out#u can interpret this as bruce suddenly deciding to text like this#or his children just never getting used to it even after 10+ years of knowing him#bruce: i dont understand why my children are so paranoid#clark: last night you texted me ''see you soon...'' and i wasnt sure if you were threatening me or not#social media au#batfam#batfamily#dc comics#bruce wayne#dick grayson#cassandra cain#jason todd#stephanie brown#tim drake#duke thomas#damian wayne#incorrect quotes#tweets#texts#twitter#batdad#batkids#batman#fanatical posting#crack
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sleepy
#my art#Bruce Wayne#Dick Grayson#Damian Wayne#Jason Todd#Barbara Gordon#Tim Drake#Stephanie Brown#Cassandra Cain#Duke Thomas#Batman#Nightwing#Red Hood#Robin#Red Robin#Spoiler#Batgirl#Oracle#Signal#I edited the original post so duke is in it#i feel so bad for forgetting to draw him in 😭
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Hear me out: Robin Dick would be the biggest Bruceman supporter and shipper.
This boy hates any of Bruce’s love interest with a passion because then his dad guardian spends less time with him and that’s obviously UNACCEPTABLE, SCANDALOUS even, so when rumours start circulating that Bruce Wayne is in a relationship with the Batman, he jumps right on the wagon.
Reporter, thirsty for a story: Mr Grayson what do you think about the rumours that Bruce Wayne is dating the Batman?
Dick: What do I think about my dads you mean? My very married very taken dads? My very faithful to each other plural dads?
He would fuel the rumours both as Robin and as Dick Grayson, punching criminals for talking bad about Wayne enterprises as Robin (“THAT’S MY STEPDADS COMPANY YOURE TALKING ABOUT!”). He would be on online forums all day talking about how Bruceman is the only Batman ship that makes sense and Doxxing people who disagree.
Bruce is so exasperated because this is happening at a time where only Alfred and Dick know his real identity so he can’t even do anything with ANYONE without making either Bruce Wayne or Batman look unfaithful.
Throw Reporter Clark Kent into the mix who has been sent to scope out the Bruceman story, who Bruce makes the mistake of flirting with at a gala. Both Clark AND dick are scandalised.
Dick, making a scene: HOW COULD YOU! BATMAN IS WAITING FOR YOU AT HOME AND YOURE HERE FLIRTING WITH SOME… SOME REPORTER??
Bruce, sighing: Dick-
Dick, tugging on Bruce’s suit and looking up at him with fake tears in his eyes: Dad, are you and dad getting a divorce? :(
Clark, panicking: NO NO THEYRE NOT GETTING A DIVORCE PLEASE DONT CRY
Meanwhile:
Bruce, crying in the corner: he called me dad
He would even go as far as insisting that Robin is his step sibling
Principal: how do you explain that whenever Robin is injured, Dick fails to show up at school the next day?
Dick: Robin and I are twins :) so when he’s injured I’m injured too and we have to stay home together!!
Bruce, whispering: I’m sorry, they’re not really twins but neither I or Bats have the heart to tell hem
#silly#do you see the vision#anyways if only me and android are the target audience for this that’s fine too#someone write a fic#batman#dc comics#bruce wayne#dcu#batfam#batfamily#dc robin#dick grayson#nightwing#dick robin#superbat#Clark Kent#superman#bruceman#crack#incorrect batfamily quotes#incorrect batman quotes#incorrect dc quotes#long post#text post
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the funniest part of any Robin meeting the JL is that every Robin is so distinctly different from the previous one in terms of personality and vibes that the league literally gets backlash. and like, I don't blame them. not to mention that they are non-meta children that dress as a traffic light and fight crime alongside batman in gotham on a nightly basis. i'd also be a bit concerned. Batman, literally The Night of Gotham personified in the League's eyes, coming into a JL meeting: This is Robin, my crime-fighting partner. 11-year-old Dick Grayson, dressed in the brightest primary colours possible, vaguely hidden murder behind those eyes, never stops moving even for a moment: Hi! Superman: That's a child. That's-- Bats that is a child. You let a child--? Batman, deadpan: You try to stop him. Would you rather he try and murder a grown man with a wire?
Batman: This is Robin. 12-year-old Jason Todd, with the biggest grin on his face, about 3 books in his hand, stars in his eyes and a distinct street-kid drawl: Hey!!! Green Lantern: That's ... that's a different child. What?? Jason: I stole his tires :) Batman: Tried to. Jason, stage whispering to the League: basically did. Green Lantern: that is a different kid, right?? I'm not seeing shit??
Batman: This is Robin. 14-year-old Tim Drake, bo staff clutched in his hand, a wary and tired expression on his face, more on the quiet side, the literal walking definition of don't judge a book by it's cover: hello Flash: Where do you even find these-- Tim: I found myself.
Batman: This is Robin. 17-year-old Stephanie Brown, literally blonde, with a shit-eating grin, eyes full of nothing but mischief and the most explosive personality you've ever seen: hiya!! Superman: I give up. Stephanie: I know, I have that amazing effect on people.
Batman: This is Robin. 13-year-old Damian Wayne, a literal wet cat that will hiss at you, has a sword, the most judgemental stare you'll get from a teenager, ready to jump anyone there: Green Lantern: WHY DOES HE HAVE A SWORD?! Batman: ... he came with the sword.
#batman#batfam#tim drake#jason todd#dick grayson#damian wayne#stephanie brown#dc comics#icb i posted this w/o tags the first time#what is wrong w me#superman: where do you find these kids#bruce: they just show up tbh#especially tim. he LITERALLY just showed up#anyone: so which one is really robin?#bruce: they are all really robin.#bruce: dick wanted to kill a man.#jason tried hijacking my tires in CRIME ALLEY.#tim just appeared and made himself robin that was NOT me#stephanie also wanted to kill a man.#damian did kill a man. or two.#YOU try to parent these kids then come back to me clark
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Bruce, who has a problem expressing emotions because he was teased for them in school as the "crazy Wayne kid"
Bruce, who used to clutch Alfred at night and wet himself due to his nightmares.
Bruce, who got flashbacks till his mid-twenties everytime he walked down an alley.
Bruce, who would hug a weeping Dick Grayson and stay with him until the night terrors were over, humming a soft lullaby that Bruce's mother sang for him
Bruce, who hardened his mouth and his life to keep the anger in check after Jason, because he knew if he didn't every criminal would pay.
Bruce, who sees Damian chopping up shrubbery and thinks "I was far worse as a child inside, it's a good thing he's letting it out"
Bruce, who can't walk by a homeless child in the street without calling his special Wayne Foundation liaison (who he keeps on speed dial) and asking her to find "one more spot"
Bruce, who sees Selina petting kittens and robbing the rich and thinks "if I could have had a life with her, that would have been nice"
Bruce, who looks at Cass' x-rays and sees her knit bones and swears to god he will break the bones of whoever's responsible for her upbringing
Bruce, who gives Tim projects that he himself can do faster because he sees attention-starved Tim trying to please him
Bruce, who looks at Clark smiling and thinks of what he can buy for his birthday to make him smile just like that.
Bruce to his parents in their graves after not being able to catch a criminal: I'm sorry. I've failed you. I'll try harder.
People who don't know Bruce: why is that man so unfeeling.
Bad DC writers: idk just that way i guess
#batman#bruce wayne#dc comics#dick grayson#cassandra cain#robin#red hood#jason todd#tim drake#red robin#batman family#batfamily#batkids#batgirl#damian wayne#black bat#orphan#original post#dc fanfiction#rant post#batman headcanon#batfam headcanons#angst#feelings#All this is kinda canon but I don't have references for each one. Still I'd appreciate it if someone could find them and link them#TL;DR: I'm lazy#original
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Scary boyfriend privilege? No. Scary sons privilege.
Bruce who can’t go anywhere without his newly adopted ward. He follows Bruce like a sunny shadow, grin always in place.
“Dick, can I hold your hand when we cross the street?”
Dick, very sweetly, “No.”
Bruce sighs, but accepts easily. Some guy scoffs at that and asks Bruce if he’ll let his kid just talk to him like that. His kid. His heart hurts in a very good way.
He’s about to say something, but Dick interrupts him, his teeth bared full, “Weren’t you on the news for hitting an old lady with your car?”
Bruce freezing. Dick goes back to his gameboy. They hold hands when they cross the street.
It’s both scary and comforting how little he changes when he’s an adult.
Jason, on the other hand.
Although he refuses to admit it, he does follow Bruce around, too, when his dad actually has to leave the manor. It’s when Alfred says he needs sun.
“You signed a contract, sir.”
Bruce sighing, “I signed it when I was 4. In black crayon. Those don’t count.”
Damian gasped, as if discovering a vile fact, sending an accusing glare Bruce’s way. “They don’t?”
Bruce needs an excuse to haul ass fast and that’s how Jason ends up chaperoning his socially awkward, disaster of a father in his quest to pick up food.
He’s a titanic presence next to Bruce, glaring off whoever stares a little too long or too appreciatively, strong arms crossed and his eyes hard and sharp.
Bruce gently taps his bicep and he hates the way he melts. “Do you want the chicken nuggets with or without apple slices?”
“Without.”
“Jay.”
“FINE.”
Give Jason his “he asked for No pickles” moment. It has to embarrass Bruce enough to jump in traffic, thought.
Damian has his own league and none of them can really compete with it. I think, during parent’s night, he drags Bruce off to proudly showcase his gallery of portraits.
Bruce is very moved when he realizes they’re almost all him.
There’s portraits of Dick, too, and Alfred, and a comically bad one of Tim. “Damian, they’re very beautiful. Thank you.”
“I painted them with the blood of your enemies.”
“…Thank you.”
#protective sons >>>>>>>#dick grayson#jason todd#damian wayne#bruce wayne#bruce wayne is a good dad#batdad#battinson#batfam#dc#dc comics#text#text post
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Gothamites waking up to the loud ass Batmobile racing down the street at 3 am bc the local murder clown thought it would be funny to try something
#this is the real reason rent in Gotham is 150$ a month#dc#dc comics#batman#bruce wayne#the joker#joker#bat family#gotham posting#nightwing#red hood#robin#spoiler dc#batgirl#dick grayson#tim drake#jason todd#damian wayne#cassandra cain#stephanie brown#duke thomas#barbara gordon
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Jason has a life-sized cardboard cutout of Bruce Wayne in his apartment, and he argues with it a hell of a lot. When Dick dropped by one day and saw it, Jason convinced him of how cathartic it was. Dick brushed him off, telling him to find healthier coping mechanisms, only to go out and get one of his own.
#dc comics#dc#batman#bruce wayne#jason todd#red hood#dick grayson#nightwing#batfam#batfamily#my post
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You know what’s interesting?
Dick didn’t set out to murder Zucco with the intent of being a killer. He viewed it as an unfortunate byproduct of his actions.
His real goal was to “purge the world of criminals” because “darkness needs light.”
Do you realize how unhinged that sounds? It means Robin wasn’t created from anger. It was created from the messed up psyche of a child who realized at 8 years old that the entire world needs something better than what it was given and so he went out and became it.
I cant properly explain how insane that is. It’s like putting the logic of the Joker inside the mind of child but turning it for good. Everything is falling into place now. That is why the Joker hates Dick-he is the one Robin the man couldn’t break. Literally COULDN’T because when he’s facing Dick, he’s facing the version of himself that would have existed if he had put himself to good. That was would break HIM.
Imagine spending the better part of your life doing your utmost worst to show Batman that people and the system are inherently evil only to have him fall head over cowl for a version of yourself to completely invalidate your reason for existing. How psychotic would you turn when you realize you have nothing to prove?
This also explains why Dick is so well adjusted and sociable in a way that Bruce and the others aren’t.
Bruce loses it when he loses his children, he thinks it’s a failure of his abilities and doubts his life’s work.
Jason loses it when he thinks he’s been replaced because his reason for being is having someone care for him.
Tim loses it when he comes to a dead-end. He feels helpless and lost when he doesn’t know the next move because his reason for being is being able to solve what’s wrong.
Damian loses it when he feels abandoned. He feels hurt and broken because he’s a child who wants to be loved.
The reason Dick was the perfect choice for Dark Crisis and to become the dawn of DCU is because his sole reason for being is to be the light.
That is why Bruce refused to destroy a planet when Superman asked him too. That is why Dick was the only person in the universe who could control the Darkness infecting him when even Deathstroke lost his mind to it. That is why the evil Justice League chose Dick of every one to kill-to make a point.
This is why he’s looked up to by major heroes such as Superman, Wonderwoman, the Titans, the children, the villains, and the civilians.
This is why Harvey Dent called Robin Dick “Batman’s secret weapon.”
Although anger was the baseline emotion, Dick doesn’t have anger issues because:
Robin wasn’t created for revenge. It was created with the intention of building a world so unrealistically good, that the level of the vision Richard Grayson was aiming for and set the standards for- is so terrifyingly inconceivable.
And that-is why he is a happy, feral, monster.
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Headcanon where after so many arguments between the batkids and Bruce over his paranoia and complete disregard for his kids privacy, the entire family had compromised with (in the healthiest way possible) downloading life360 on their phones and that's how they all keep track of each other.
Now Bruce knew that this is mostly for his benefit and is supposed to be a healthy alternative for his unhealthy paranoia and helicopter parenting, but what he wasn't expecting was for his kids to start keeping track of him.
He's putting gas in his car and Dick calls him because apparently Dick has been watching him drive around on the app? And Bruce is currently at a gas station thats right around the corner from a Taco Bell and now Dick wants him to get food for everyone since he's already there.
He's driving home from a meeting and Steph calls him because her and Duke were shopping in the area and wants to know if he can pick them up, when he asks how she knew he was on the same street, he gets a "Oh I just like to stalk everyone on the app for funsies." as an answer.
Jason calls him and he can barely get out a hello before Jason cuts him off, "Bruce why the fuck is your phone battery on 5%, charge your damn phone" which completely stuns him because why does he know that. He clears his throat before answering. "Jason, what?"
"Everyone can see each others phone batteries on '360, now charge your phone." Is all he gets before Jason hangs up on him.
#I have more ideas in my head#but I didn't want to make the post too long#might repost later#might write a small fanfic off of this#I actually don't have life360 but my friend does and I'm basing this off of how she interacts with her mom#batfamily#batfam#headcanon#dick grayson#nightwing#bruce wayne#batman#jason todd#red hood#tim drake#red robin#cardinal tim drake#stephanie brown#spoiler#dc
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another gotham gazette exclusive 🤭
insta
#i love lettering these lmao i could just go with the fake socmed post but this is very therapeutic indeed !!#tim drake#red robin#damian wayne#dick grayson#jason todd#bruce wayne#batfam#bat family#dcu#dc#dc comics#batman#art#fanart#digital art#smau#batfam social media#artists on tumblr#my art
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Tim is the only one who calls the poor thing Gina 😭
#unreality#batfam#tim drake#dick grayson#batfamily#timkon#timkon clone baby au#caden#social media au#my posts
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Just learnt that Damian would’ve had a doctorate in geology at 7 years old if he hadn’t killed his tutor.
Am absolutely loving the fact that out of his entire family of super geniuses the literal 14 year old has come the closest to getting any sort of degree.
#batfam#damian wayne#dc#dc comics#bruce wayne#batman#dick grayson#yes this post is directed at high school drop out Tim Drake#how could you tell?#jason todd#stephanie brown#talia al ghul
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next thing you're gonna tell me is that the butts match 🙄
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#the batkids collectively: yeah bruce WISHES he were batman lol what a loser#bruce probably isnt on sns often so bro's completely oblivious to his children bullying him online#jason to dick later: ok but bruce had a point. why DIDNT you wanna put pants on the robin uniform#dick: you literally wore that same uniform after me i dont wanna hear it#batfamily#batfam#social media au#batkids#dick grayson#jason todd#cassandra cain#tim drake#stephanie brown#duke thomas#damian wayne#barbara gordon#bruce wayne#batman#dc comics#incorrect quotes#crack#texts#tweets#fanatical posting
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On the role of Alfred, as understood by the JLA:
Robin!Dick: "It's pretty much Alfie that calls all the shots, sets my bed time and Batman's."
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Red Hood: "It's like a Charlie's angels situation."
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Red Robin, before going against League orders: "The boss? You mean like, Alfred? No I haven't asked him yet."
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Spoiler: "You really want to be late for the dinner? Alfred won't be happy."
Bruce: *closes computer* "We'll finish this up some other time."
JLA: *confused*
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Clark, after Bruce gets severely injured: "Oh God, Alfred’s going to kill me."
Hal: "Relax, what's he even going to do? You're bullet proof."
Clark, groaning and sitting down, head in hands: "That's not going to stop him."
Oliver: "Say the word, and I'll get you on an island not found on any map."
Hal: ???
#Jla#batman#dc comics#bruce wayne#Alfred pennyworth#Text post#Shit post#batfamily#Hal Jordan#Superman#dick grayson#jason todd#Tim drake#stephanie brown
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