#chosen realm

[sshbpodcast]

Character Spotlight: Jonathan Archer

By Ames

Just when you thought we were done with Enterprise, our character spotlight series returns somehow! And if our full watch of the series assured us of anything, it’s that Cap’n Jonathan Archer is an angry, ill-prepared, conceited, racist, little nepobaby. Now sometimes, that’s perfectly in character for a prequel series about confronting our first stumbling blocks into space exploration. And sometimes, it’s agonizing to watch how humans as a species were represented by a man who made the worst choices you could make, and then patted himself on the back about it.

But I’m getting ahead of myself! Your hosts here at A Star to Steer Her By can always find something that Archer did to gripe about. And even a couple moments we didn’t hate his guts. Check them all out below and listen to our diatribe on this week’s podcast (jump in time to 1:00:09) as we peruse the actions of our first Enterprise captain. Now back in the pool for some water polo!

[Images © CBS/Paramount]

Best moments

Torturing prisoners = bad! I laugh because this sentiment will be entirely contradicted when we get to season three, but Archer starts out in “Fortunate Son” advocating NOT capturing and torturing pirates. The bar was low for us back in season one, and Archer meets it when he tells Mayweather that humans should display proper ethics in situations like the Fortunate’s dealings with Nausicaans.

T’Pol’s had enough of your help. Stay away from her. After spending much of season one racially profiling every Vulcan he meets (more on that in the next segment), Archer meets a Vulcan that everyone is right to hate in “Fusion.” While he is way too quick to trust the V’tosh ka’tur just because they like having emotions, Archer deserves some credit for believing T’Pol about her assault and letting Tolaris have it, that asshole!

Now is not the time for British gumption Archer may be the extrovert that makes us introverts uncomfortable, but it actually pays off in “Minefield”! Reed is pinned in the leg, and the captain is able to deal with both disarming the Romulan mine AND keeping his security chief alive when he is fully prepared to martyr himself at the drop of a hat. Their smalltalk keeps the tension in check and Reed mostly lucid.

How much is that doggy in the incubator? One sympathetic trait that the writers were wise to build into the Archer character is his love for Porthos. It’s easy to connect with a dog person, so Archer is at his most humanized during “A Night in Sickbay” when all he wants is to be with Porthos during the beagle’s time of need. The rest of that episode, not so much, but how much he cares for his puppy is lovely.

What if we trap them in an elevator together? Because Enterprise is a prequel, we know very well that Humans, Andorian, and Vulcans (and Tellarites eventually) will get along well enough to found the Federation. But right now, it’s baby steps and Archer’s goal is to just get them in a room together without actively killing each other in “Cease Fire.” So major kudos for getting Shran and Soval into a conference room.

The House of Duras is without honor We gave Worf credit back when he did a similar thing back in “Reunion,” so we’ll have to count this one for Archer as well, and that’s killing the hell out of Duras. That whole Klingon line is just no good, so when Archer blows his ship to high hell in “The Expanse,” we are very pleased. The only good Duras is a Duras blown to high hell.

I’m not leaving you In a spur-of-the-moment decision, Archer saves T’Pol from a wave of some anomaly or other in “Twilight,” even after she told him to save himself (or perhaps because he’s just so used to doing the opposite of everything she says). We learn non-chronologically that the anomaly that hits him because of this causes his anterograde amnesia, but it was nice of him to help his XO.

You wanted to kill someone, kill me Not only does it take responsibility and honor to sacrifice himself when the Triannons force them to adhere to their dumb justice system in “Chosen Ream,” but it turns out to be a ruse when Archer tricks them into thinking the transporter is a disintegration device that kills people. Fools, it’s only that some of the time! We commend Archer for his really clever thinking!

We’re talking about a one-way trip Speaking of Archer taking responsibility when the going gets tough, he is fully prepared to kamikaze the Xindi weapon in “Azati Prime,” even after both Mayweather and Trip have offered to do it (I guess Reed was out of earshot or he’d’ve begged to do it too). We’ll talk in a second about how bad of an idea this was, but hell, he was ready to get blown up to save humanity.

If that’s what it takes to be advanced, I don’t want any part of it You’ve got to love when a captain calls out another race for absolutely bullshit behavior, and Archer is fully righteous when he tears the Organians a new asshole for treating other species like test subjects in “Observer Effect.” Plus, yet again he is ready to sacrifice himself for crewmates when he exposes himself to the contagion to try to save Trip.

Loop-de-loop hole Archer is again attempting diplomacy in getting the Andorians and Tellarites in a room together without killing each other (this sounds familiar), and volunteers himself to duel in the Ushaan in “United.” It all conveniently works out because for some reason this fight to the death has enough loopholes in it to scare off a trypophobe. But it’s nice of Archer not to kill Shran.

The final frontier begins in this hall. Let’s explore it together. Finally, the two-parter “Demons” and “Terra Prime” really succeeds at reminding us that we all need to overcome our prejudices and malice if we want to make our ways in the universe. Archer sums the whole thing up after defeating Paxton and his Terra Prime cult members. His speech at the end of “Terra Prime” really should have been what the whole show finale’d on.

—

Worst moments

What’s all that mean anyway? You know I have to include Archer’s constant xenophobia against Vulcans because it really colored my perception of the captain, and “The Andorian Incident” is emblematic of that. Out of sheer racism, he forces T’Pol to bring him to P’Jem after she advises against it, makes a terrible impression on the monk who’s only doing his job, and then wrecks up the chapel room to expose an Andorian. Maybe ask first, dingbat.

Correction, sir, that’s blown out We also just had to include this early example of just awful acting out of Scott Bakula. Though the bay is being rapidly decompressed, Archer somehow drapes himself over a railing and dangles over the side during his fight with Silik in “Cold Front.” Was he in any danger? Did he expel all the air from his lungs? Were there any consequences to being in vacuum? Who knows.

Someday my people are going to come up with some sort of a doctrine This one will surely come up again in our Phlox character spotlight, but it was Archer’s word to permit the genocide by inaction in “Dear Doctor.” Not only is it morally reprehensible to wash their hands of the fate of the Valakians, but the science that Phlox easily convinces Archer is emphatically wrong. And the Prime Directive reference? The turd on top of this shit sundae.

What else should I be? All apologies. Though we commended Jonathan for his devotion to Porthos in “A Night in Sickbay,” for the rest of the episode he’s an absolute pissant. All the Kreetassans want is for him to apologize for defiling their sacred tree with Porthos’s piss. You’d think he’d not have brought his filthy dog to their sacred site in the first place, but to act like such a prick about it is even more pathetic.

On my world, when someone asks for asylum it has to be given serious consideration We’ve struggled with the messaging of “Cogenitor” from the get go, and apparently so has Archer. Charles requests asylum from the Starfleet crew and Archer forces them off the ship instead, back into the hands of their oppressive culture. And then Archer screams (screams!) at Trip about violating the non-existent Prime Directive. And he’s supposed to be right?

Torturing prisoners = good? Most of Archer’s bad moments are rightly coming from season 3, an absolutely drek collection of episodes, and it immediately goes south in “Anomaly.” This is Archer’s first foray into torturing people, as he throws Orgoth, the Osaarian prisoner, into an airlock and threatens to space him just to get information. And the cap’n’s actions will only get worse from here…

These are Trip’s quarters It’s a controversial choice for Archer to allow the simbiot to be created in the first place in “Similitude” just to harvest his organs. But that’s mostly a Phlox fault. What we’re harping on here is how terribly Archer treats Sim. Again, he screams at him (there’s a lot of Bakula screaming at Connor Trinneer in this show) for staying in Trip’s quarters and for, I dunno, wanting to live.

How selective could this memory wipe be? A lot of interesting concepts come out of “Stratagem,” but then if you think about it for more than a second, you realize what Archer does to Degra is super messed up. Normally, when someone tampers with someone else’s mind to exploit them for information, it’s the villain of the show doing it. So it’s clever as a scheme, but Archer, my dude, you are the bad guy of this episode.

Let’s torture the canary we took out of this coalmine One of the absolute worst things we see Archer do comes in “Harbinger” (you’re going to see a lot of “Harbinger” in this spotlights) when he tortures that Sphere Builder before he even knows who they are. He jumps to the wildest conclusion that this guy might have information, with absolutely no proof at first, and he tortures the guy. And this is the hero of the show, people!

If that’s a problem for history, then history will have to suffer We may have just credited Archer with doing the honorable thing and wanting to sacrifice himself in “Azati Prime,” but it’s also absolutely idiotic. For once, Archer refuses to listen to Daniels who warns him that if Jon destroys the Xindi weapon, they will only build another one. Please, Archer, do the peaceful, diplomatic thing. No? Why choose now to be so unreasonable?

Out of my way, I’m a motorist! We rag on “Damage” a lot because of the hypocrisy of it all. Archer finally thinks he’s crossing a line when he steals the warp coil from the Illyrians’ ship, despite all the lines he’s been crossing all season. And what a shitty thing to do to these people! He strands them in the expanse and we never hear about them again. Dude, at least send them an Uber.

Even though you don’t wish to own me, I still wish to please you Because I feel like shitting on “Bound” at least a little bit, let’s shit on how Archer so easily gets tricked by the Orions all episode long. You can blame the pheromones for tampering with his senses, but dude, you couldn’t have put some female MACOs in charge once you knew the ruse? You didn’t smell something was up when space pirates wanted to do business? And god, that scene when he talks about sexual slavery is just so uncomfortable. Vomit.

—

Sorry, Cap’n, but someone needed to put you in your place. Will our other Enterprise character spotlights be a little more positive? Keep track by following along here on the blog! You should also keep up with our watchthrough of Discovery over on the podcast on SoundCloud (or wherever you listen to podcasts), exchange water polo gossip with us over on Facebook, and maybe scream at Trip a little less. Just a little.

[youngpettyqueen]

one of the funniest things about Star Trek is how it either nails the "at what point do you become the very thing youre fighting?" concept right on the head or it completely fucking flubs it by going "hello oppressed minority, did you know youre just as bad as your oppressors?"

[starplusfourletters]

T’POL NO

T’POL WHAT THE HELL

NECK PINCH, T’POL! NECK PINCH!

[puppetmaster13u]

Prompt 317

IMAGINE THIS: Lil baby Damian, bored and being not quite old enough to start learning how to use proper weapons (curse these wooden ones, he wants true steel!) is wandering the base. This is not out of the ordinary, he’s the prince after all. What is out of the ordinary is that his shadow, his Akhi, is not here. 

Technically, he should be napping, but he woke up and neither his mother or his brother- who is quiet but gentle and isn’t a good speaker (mother said it was from a head injury)- is there. Which is how he finds his way to the Pit, which he’s not supposed to be at. Or at least not alone. 

But! His mother and Akhi are there! And- and Akhi is screaming and he’s never heard him scream like that, like he’s in agony- His eyes are green- they were blue, had, had Mother placed him in the Waters- 

And then the pool is bubbling- he should be running away, get assistance or something, he’s five, he shouldn’t be running towards it when everything is screaming to flee. But one moment he’s at the doorway, the next he’s clinging to his akhi as something writhes in the Pit, a mighty bellow echoing even as the Shadows take defensive positions. 

The water cascades, laps at their feet, splashes everywhere as a scaled form rises from the depths, wings like a bloodied sunset spreading as fur bursts into flames. Crimson eyes glare down at them all, pupils slits as they bare down at his Akhi. 

The creature- the dragon- dips its head down, its breath warm as it chuffs at his akhi, wings folding as though it is bowing. His akhi is clinging to Mother, shivering, several scars glowing as they fade and a burst of hair burned white. 

Oh. 

Oh.

@fairy-lights-and-blobs @f4nd0m-fun @hdgnj @radiance1 pspspspsps

[bloody-kissezz]

a painting i made to test out my new drawing tablet. merry Christmas!

Updated version with baby dragon

[steamclouds]

I regularly think about this. It's so random and out of the blue. My favourite item in Forgotten Realms lore, the heart-shaped locket of friendship.

(Excerpt from R.A. Salvatore's The Halfling's Gem)

[worstloki]

there is a difference between being born to a throne, maliciously vying for a throne, stealing a throne, and having a throne thrust upon you when you are already in the midst of an identity crisis. And I fear Loki's place in the line of succession has people unable to differentiate between any of these

[quacaserous]

✦ journey to cania

[bigmoon-is-bigwife]

Something I've noticed is that when people talk to Ros about the castle they are always so adamant that it is her castle, not Foolish's. Ros will disagree and say that it is Foolish's because he is king and she built it for him but everyone wants to be sure that Ros gets her credit and it's very sweet. Foolish is extremely supportive of her hard work on the castle and always praises her for it but I feel like if people thought he wasn't being grateful they'd overthrow him. Everyone loves Ros and her castle so much.

[daemon-in-my-head]

As much as some of the stuff in Realms lore is messed up or has some very clear very outdated views on shit, the way they wrote evil cults and their motivations is actually pretty nice nd I'll give em that.

Like we've got Shar, lady of loss, who appeals to all those people who experienced something unimaginable and want to forget that experience.

Bane, a self made guy, who appeals to all those who came to resent the status quo nd were made to feel powerless, who's cult establishes the idea that everyone can become the game master and rise as long as they're dedicated enough but also gives excuses to the already powerful for abusing their power.

Myrkul who appeals to people in a similar way Shar does, but he has and grants the ability to reverse the loss. Reunite with those you lost before you arrive in the afterlife yourself. Don't fear death because your life will continue the same way it was before even if you die. Basically my guy offers a solution to the whole being afraid of death bit

But the most fucked up one is arguably Bhaal, who targets a very spefic group of people that deem life to be hopeless and death to be the better choice, and introduces them to the idea that this warped mindset is a fact and by killing someone you show them mercy and you can become their hero.

Like these are definitely not the healthiest claims those cults make, and any 'normal' individual would look at u like u have issues if you presented these ideas to them. Still, for a (not very) small group of people, these thoughts validate them in their feelings and struggles and offer a twisted understanding. And that is why recruitment works, and these definitely not-so-nice cults manage to survive and thrive at times. Because they very purposefully target individuals that could be easily manipulated if offered nothing more than some sort of understanding or recognition, and then they built on that. Very much like real life cults did and do in order to establish themselves and gain following.

Like very much fucked up but I can see very well why these cults work, why people join them and how they manage to manipulate their followers into blind loyalty and going above and beyond. The gods they serve and their lil libraries nd stuff may be dorky at times but the cults themselves are nothing besides absolutely terrifying. 11/10 no notes.

[incorrect-dragonquest-quotes]

Serena: Where is Erik? I’ve been searching for him but I can’t find him anywhere

11: Wait I’ve got this.

11: Can someone hold my hand?

Erik, appearing from nowhere: *gently holds 11’s hand* I’m here

[sshbpodcast]

The Worst Season of All of Star Trek?

by Ames

What’s the worst season of all of Trek? Season 3 of TOS? Season 2 of Picard? All of The Animated Series? Well your hosts at A Star to Steer Her By have a contender. We just finished our watchthrough of season 3 of Enterprise, and if we were mostly unimpressed by the first two seasons, we downright abhorred this one. For a season that’s ultimately one great big 9/11 allegory, it forgets what sci-fi in general – and Star Trek in particular – is meant to do with topical politics: use your imaginative medium to make people ask the Big Questions™.

This season doesn’t do that. 

Instead of pushing themes like what is moral and right during a time of terrorism and war, Enterprise spends most of the time letting Archer unapologetically commit war crimes with the underlying current of “it may not be nice, but it’s necessary.” Well, is it? It’s not until very late in the season that he even feels bad about all the people he manipulates, tortures, or kills. Among some truly, truly cynical episodes, there are still some diamonds, but we’ll let our Tops and Bottoms Lists make those arguments. So dive into the Delphic Expanse with us as we high- and lowlight this season below and listen to our scathing arguments on this week’s podcast episode (blast over to 38:19). America! Fuck Yeah!

[images © CBS/Paramount]

Top Three Episodes

That’s not to say the season is not 100% trash. There’s actually some good stuff in here – in fact, some of the best episodes of Enterprise we’ve seen so far, sprinkled throughout some otherwise drek concepts.

“The Shipment”: Ames One shining light in the early episodes comes in the one-off character Gralik Durr. He’s a Xindi-Arboreal who reminds Archer, as bluntly as he can, that not all Xindi should be considered responsible for the atrocities that are being committed by the Council, which is just what we needed to hear amongst a lot of episodes of Archer racially profiling people for things they have no control over. Thank you, Gralik.

“Proving Ground”: Caitlin You just can’t go wrong with a Shran episode. Jeffrey Combs was the breath of fresh air we pined for in a handful of bleak, exhausting, morally repulsive episodes we’d been saddled with. Is it contrived? Yes. Is there any good reason for Shran to be in the Delphic Expanse? Absolutely not. But what a freaking delight to watch Shran pretend to represent an Andorian Mining Consortium. Full marks; no notes.

“Azati Prime”: Jake It finally feels like something is happening in this season-long plot at about episode 18, when some consequential actions transpire. That’s three-quarters of the way through the season, mind you, but who’s counting? (I am.) We reach the Xindi weapon, Archer gets captured trying to kamikaze the thing, and there’s some really great ship battle. It’s also the first time Archer shows remorse for all the harm he’s caused.

“The Council”: Chris The homestretch of the season has picked up the pace in this whole Xindi War arc, and thank goodness. So much time was spent spinning its wheels that it felt like a success to have so much plot development in the last couple of episodes of the season. And finally (FINALLY), Archer switches this mission to one of diplomacy and collaboration instead of rage and torture. It feels like Star Trek for the first time in a while.

“Countdown”: Chris Same deal here as in “The Council.” We’re close to the end, so things are speeding to the resolution. Plot elements are getting tied up, the Xindi Council is way more fleshed out by now, and every decision has consequences for a change. Dolim and the other Reptilians also up the stakes by taking matters into their own hands, solidifying the realness of the threat of the weapon that was nebulous up to this point.

“Twilight”: Ames, Caitlin, Jake We get a good amount of agreement for this genuinely impressive, well-written, well-acted episode that deviates a little from the Xindi plot while also fitting into the season perfectly. The idea of the interspatial parasites causing Archer to lose his short-term memory is a great sci-fi concept, and the resolution is so clever that we’re fully onboard for a full reset ending that, in less skilled hands, would seem convenient.

“Similitude”: Ames, Caitlin, Chris, Jake But the episode that gets the vote of all of your SSHB hosts is a new twist on the “Tuvix” dilemma. Connor Trineer absolutely goes all out as his duplicate, Sim, and we feel devastated at the end when the inevitable occurs. Archer and Phlox are, frankly, monsters to do this to a person; there’s no debate on that. But what we walk away with is a heart-wrenching acting showcase for all the different Trip iterations we meet.

—

Bottom Three Episodes

And now, what we’re all here for: shitting on all the bad things from this morally reprehensible season. From all the war crimes, to the racial profiling, to the missed opportunities and even more recycled shots, this season just plain has so many low points.

“Doctor’s Orders”: Jake Like how “E²” is just DS9’s “Children of Time” but with Enterprise paint (and not as good), this episode is just Voyager’s “One” but with Enterprise paint (and also not as good). If you’re going to entirely rehash a story your franchise has already done, at least change it up a little. Watching Phlox and T’Pol wander around while everyone else is put under just makes you think, “Dang, Jeri Ryan did this way better.”

“Chosen Realm”: Caitlin Every so often, Star Trek tries to make a point about religion and faith as compared to the science and logic of its main characters, and this is one of those times it bungles it. Like with Voyager’s “Sacred Ground,” this one doesn’t quite make the argument it thinks it’s making. And then it manages to somehow make a joke of all of it by having the religious factions be at war over something purely trivial. Blah.

“Rajiin”: Caitlin We could have called a mile away that Rajiin was up to no good and saving her was going to be a mistake. And it’s not like we were really missing watching T’Pol getting sexually assaulted all the time like in “Fusion” – we really didn’t need yet another oversexed scene of her getting pawed at by some villain or other. Everything was just predictable, boring, and repetitive.

“Carpenter Street”: Jake As if we haven’t had enough mind-boggling time travel from the Temporal Cold War arc, Daniels has to drop by and stir up shit again. There’s just something dissatisfying about the Detroit plot. The Reptilians’ need for all the blood types is just contrived. Bringing T’Pol of all people is just begging for Vulcan shenanigans. The whole thing should be Daniels’s problem and he refuses to do jack about it!

“North Star”: Ames As an episode that’s “Spectre of the Gun” meets “The Paradise Syndrome,” this one probably belonged in The Original Series. A Cowboys-and-Indians story feels entirely out of place in the current era of Trek, and that’s all the more bolstered by the fact that we’re in the middle of the Xindi arc and take a week off to dress up in spurs and ride horseys. The anti-racist message also seems just too easy, especially considering how racist Archer is being the rest of this season.

“Damage”: Chris Archer makes a lot of deplorable decisions this season. From ordering the Sim clone made in “Similitude,” to memory-wiping Degra in “Strategem,” to torturing that Osaarian pirate from “Anomaly,” to treating the first Xindi we meet in “The Xindi” like trash, he’s a bad captain. But stealing from the Illyrians might take the cake because these people were innocent and Archer acts like it was necessary. Oh, and making T’Pol a junkie was a weird writing choice.

“Hatchery”: Ames, Caitlin, Chris For once Archer is in the right in this episode! Purely incidentally, he’s advocating for treating the Xindi-Insectoid babies like people and not letting them die, and the rest of the crew mutinies because he’s not committing enough war crimes. But the episode undoes what could have been a moral lesson by having Archer’s mind be compromised, and it makes me throw things because they were this close, people!

“Harbinger”: Ames, Chris, Jake When the constant sexualizing of T’Pol is actually the highlight of your episode, you know you’ve done fucked up. First, we’ve got Reed being a Big Baby™ about Major Hayes being insubordinate – something that comes entirely out of left field. But even worse than that is Archer finding a being in some anomaly and deciding to torture him. We’ve never even met his kind before and his first impulse is to treat him like the enemy with absolutely no proof. God, I hate this season.

—

Purportedly season four actually starts to pick up, so what do you all think? Was this the lowest of the low? Is it all [relatively] uphill from here? Find out as we continue to watch through Enterprise on SoundCloud (or wherever you podcast). Let us know your least favorite season of Trek overall over on Facebook and Twitter, and maybe commit a couple fewer war crimes than Archer. Just a couple.

[tomurakii]

Look Kristen is a kid so its understandable and Ally is great and I'm sure has a plan for this. But Kristen should not be a cleric lol. I hope that after the wizard synogue incident Cassandra takes the Archfey deal to keep herself safe and Kristen loses her powers because honestly based on her RP that girl has NO wisdom. She has NEGATIVE wisdom. If you don't like the gods currently on offer but can't take responsibility for keeping a new one alive (because you're a kid) then you should just respec. Pick a charisma-based spellcaster class that doesn't require a bunch of work like the Int classes or responsibility like the Wis classes. Give up your soul to Fig (or just give it back to newly-Archfey Cassandra) for Warlock spells idk.

[zelda-the-sacred-realm]

Hero of Hylia

I finally decided to finish this design, I thought about it more times because I wanted to keep it like the original but at the same time make it immediately clear that he is an important spirit, in fact this is the one and only divine spirit!

His task is to protect Hylia, his legend has been passed down through the millennia as the chosen hero who sacrificed his life to save the people remaining in the lands of Hylia.

This should be the final concept (unless I change my mind like the other 100 times it happened 😅)

Hope you like it! 💖

[cherrymoonvol6]

fuck it, tag rant highlight because i managed to put this into words into a song rec vomit of all things

[pinacoladamatata]

the Tav that's out here balduring my gate