#bottom three

[sshbpodcast]

Wake me when Season 1 of Enterprise gets interesting

by Ames

Season one of Enterprise just seemed to fly by, and thank goodness because we’re not finding it all that great, to be honest. Too much of it feels like more of the same stories that previous Treks have already told way better, but with less likable characters, less nuanced writing, and so much sexual objectification that we feel ill just watching it sometimes.

Sure, it’s still probably better than season one of TNG, which had more objectively BAD episodes, but it’s surprising to your hosts here at A Star to Steer Her By just how boring this show is so far. We’ve noted a bunch of times over in our podcast coverage that there never seems to be any stakes because every opportunity for some character (main, side, guest, even background) to get killed, they never do. So grab your phase pistol and see what we had to wade through to get here in our usual bottom and top episodes from the season below and also in this week’s podcast chat (jump to 56:26 for season discussion). Cap’n.

[images © CBS/Paramount]

Bottom Three Episodes

There was a lot to dislike this season and I’m pretty sure we covered most of this season’s dreck in our typically varied responses here. Good work, “Cold Front,” you managed to squeak through somehow despite that terrible airlock scene.

“The Andorian Incident”: Ames If you’ve been following along with our podcast coverage, you’re probably as tired of me hating on Archer as I am of Archer hating on Vulcans, and this is where that sour taste really transpired. It’s a whole episode of our captain going lightyears out of his way to ruin some Vulcans’ day and then patting himself on the back for being justified about being so racist.

“Silent Enemy”: Chris Talk about uneven. What was almost an intriguing suspense episode about the crew being wholly unprepared for the kinds of enemies you find in space is thoroughly undercut by a mismatched B plot that, while cute, is distracting as hell, and by some really laughable alien design. At least Reed gets some pineapple cake.

“Fight or Flight”: Jake Poor Sluggo, we hardly knew thee. Boy, does this show start off with characters it’s just hard to care about. We’ve got Hoshi being pathetic in an “overcoming your fears” plotline so predictable I could have called every beat. And Archer simultaneously being indecisive and whining about his decisions at the same time. And then the metaphor with releasing the slug doesn’t even mesh!

“Fortunate Son”: Jake While it’s unfortunate how little Mayweather gets to do, I can’t say I feel that bad about it considering that everything he does get to do in this episode is annoying as hell. We’d love to see more about his upbringing as a boomer and the culture clash therein, but this episode botches it hard by making all the Fortunate crew assholes!

“Broken Bow”: Caitlin, Chris The whole series really gets off on the wrong foot with a premiere that is simultaneously too little and too much all at once. Between the Klingons, the Suliban, the Vulcans, the flashback scenes with Archer’s dad, the weird time room with the Humanoid Figure, AND introducing us to the whole crew, there are too many things happening, but absolutely none of them are interesting!

“Dear Doctor”: Ames, Caitlin All season long, we’ve been struggling with what we think of the Phlox character, and it mostly boils down to us finding him offputting. So of course the most Phlox-centric episode is in our bottoms list. Certainly helping matters is the fact that both Phlox AND the writers don’t understand evolution at all and use that as an excuse to genocide a people. Oops.

“Fusion”: Ames, Caitlin, Chris, Jake But the one that gets votes from all your SSHB hosts is the episode that sexually exploits the token hot character, as always. Hang on, that doesn’t narrow it down. It’s the one with the mind rapist Vulcan who takes advantage of T’Pol, entirely muddying whatever message about Vulcans this whole season was trying to make. Turns out they’re ALL just monsters, but in different ways, except for one you’ll see in our top episodes.

—

Top Three Episodes

It’s hard to call these “top” episodes of anything, as you’ll see we all pretty much agreed on two episodes this season that were genuinely enjoyable, and each of us frankly struggled to think of a third that we could see giving any accolades to...

“Acquisition”: Chris Listen, we don’t like it any more than you do, but there weren’t enough decent episodes this season and Chris had to include this retread of much better episodes. But you know what: the Ferengi hit us right in the fanservice spot, the veteran alumni are all pros, and aside from all the oomox, it was at least entertaining.

“Oasis”: Jake Back when we were covering season 2 of DS9, Jake put “Shadowplay” on his tops list, so it’s only fitting that he essentially do it again with this carbon copy of an episode. I guess there’s nothing wrong with doing the same idea twice when it’s a good one like this. It’s even got Rene Auberjonois! What’s not to like?

“Fallen Hero”: Caitlin One more “I know that face!” episode coaxing an emotional reaction out of us, which is almost certainly exactly what the show wanted to achieve. In this case, we have to give Fionnula Flanagan some credit for bringing some much needed nuance to the Vulcans, who badly needed it this season.

“Vox Sola”: Ames The final one-off episode that we scraped up to include on this list. And no, it’s not perfect by any stretch, but I have to give it some credit for giving us a truly alien alien, which I’m always a fan of watching our crew interact with. And T’Pol and Sato got to have some scenes together, which is a nice character pairing!

“Shockwave, Part I”: Ames, Caitlin, Chris, Jake Thank goodness for this season finale. Without it, I have no idea how deep into the bench we’d have to dig for other Top Episodes. But I have to hand it to this finale: this was the first time I felt like there were stakes and consequences. And what a cliffhanger! Say what you will about the Temporal Cold War, but seeing a ravaged 31st century scene sure makes things interesting.

“Shuttlepod One”: Ames, Caitlin, Chris, Jake But the one episode I can say we all legitimately liked this season was one of the great bottle episodes of Trek. Proving yet again that less is more, this little character piece leans on the acting chops of Connor Trineer and Dominic Keating, whose chemistry together is lovely to watch. Just super solid all around.

—

Pass the pecan pie, the rocky road ice cream, and the pineapple cake; we’re on for dessert! We’re hoping season two shapes up better overall than this one, so find out with us as we watch along in our podcast coverage over on SoundCloud or wherever you get your podcasts, bounce a message off of Echo One on Facebook and Twitter, and get me a spoon!

[ruushes]

still endlessly indecisive abt my datv worldstate bc ive played these games too many times and have too many ocs now but ive seen a lot of people drawing their worldstate characters and i wanted to too lol so here’s my tentative pick

fantastic templates are by marianchurchland ❤️❤️💕

[wilsonmybeloved]

heard we were fiddlestanning

you know the drill..

(full image under cut)

[solacebean]

The Goat

[urania-draws]

AU where D'Arce, Ragnvaldr and Cahara leave the dungeons with the girl (and maybe Moonless) and they all go live together after joining Celeste are super happy for the rest of their lives!!!! :3

[blacktipreefsharkwizarding]

OOC

seeing this become a common wizardposting thing I guess so if this gets 5k notes I’ll do one (1) iota of self care

[cangrellesteponme]

happy pride month to the evil demon and the evil demon ONLY

[hyunpic]

hyunjin x vogue taiwan: what’s in my bag?

[emblazons]

Looked at the BTS trailer again (top two images) and...its the clear remake of the first of the "where is my son" aesthetics from S1 oh we're DEFINITELY going back to best!Joyce again praise fucking god

[arandin-art]

Here you go with my War Games fanart sheet!

I though there would be two drawings in the space I left on the right (where the colored piece ended up) but… Obviously I chose a scene that feathured three main characters. So… I had to say good bye to Dumpling, sadly. :’( I’ll draw that round baby another time that’s it!!!

So…. @lovelyelbowleech, here's your fanart dump that I told you about!!! I really hope you won’t mind my messy style, and you’ll like those.

As you can see, I picked scenes as I was re-reading War Games from the start. I had to do a quick re-read of War Crimes to remember the injuries they acquired, but I’m pretty sure I forgot most of them anyways…

Each drawing had it’s own struggles but I’m still happy with them. And I had the joy of linearting that nightmare of three people posing sketch. (I love doing lineart, it feels like a treat earned after all the disastrous mental gymnastics you had to go through to figure out the characters’ poses.)

[sshbpodcast]

The Worst Season of All of Star Trek?

by Ames

What’s the worst season of all of Trek? Season 3 of TOS? Season 2 of Picard? All of The Animated Series? Well your hosts at A Star to Steer Her By have a contender. We just finished our watchthrough of season 3 of Enterprise, and if we were mostly unimpressed by the first two seasons, we downright abhorred this one. For a season that’s ultimately one great big 9/11 allegory, it forgets what sci-fi in general – and Star Trek in particular – is meant to do with topical politics: use your imaginative medium to make people ask the Big Questions™.

This season doesn’t do that. 

Instead of pushing themes like what is moral and right during a time of terrorism and war, Enterprise spends most of the time letting Archer unapologetically commit war crimes with the underlying current of “it may not be nice, but it’s necessary.” Well, is it? It’s not until very late in the season that he even feels bad about all the people he manipulates, tortures, or kills. Among some truly, truly cynical episodes, there are still some diamonds, but we’ll let our Tops and Bottoms Lists make those arguments. So dive into the Delphic Expanse with us as we high- and lowlight this season below and listen to our scathing arguments on this week’s podcast episode (blast over to 38:19). America! Fuck Yeah!

[images © CBS/Paramount]

Top Three Episodes

That’s not to say the season is not 100% trash. There’s actually some good stuff in here – in fact, some of the best episodes of Enterprise we’ve seen so far, sprinkled throughout some otherwise drek concepts.

“The Shipment”: Ames One shining light in the early episodes comes in the one-off character Gralik Durr. He’s a Xindi-Arboreal who reminds Archer, as bluntly as he can, that not all Xindi should be considered responsible for the atrocities that are being committed by the Council, which is just what we needed to hear amongst a lot of episodes of Archer racially profiling people for things they have no control over. Thank you, Gralik.

“Proving Ground”: Caitlin You just can’t go wrong with a Shran episode. Jeffrey Combs was the breath of fresh air we pined for in a handful of bleak, exhausting, morally repulsive episodes we’d been saddled with. Is it contrived? Yes. Is there any good reason for Shran to be in the Delphic Expanse? Absolutely not. But what a freaking delight to watch Shran pretend to represent an Andorian Mining Consortium. Full marks; no notes.

“Azati Prime”: Jake It finally feels like something is happening in this season-long plot at about episode 18, when some consequential actions transpire. That’s three-quarters of the way through the season, mind you, but who’s counting? (I am.) We reach the Xindi weapon, Archer gets captured trying to kamikaze the thing, and there’s some really great ship battle. It’s also the first time Archer shows remorse for all the harm he’s caused.

“The Council”: Chris The homestretch of the season has picked up the pace in this whole Xindi War arc, and thank goodness. So much time was spent spinning its wheels that it felt like a success to have so much plot development in the last couple of episodes of the season. And finally (FINALLY), Archer switches this mission to one of diplomacy and collaboration instead of rage and torture. It feels like Star Trek for the first time in a while.

“Countdown”: Chris Same deal here as in “The Council.” We’re close to the end, so things are speeding to the resolution. Plot elements are getting tied up, the Xindi Council is way more fleshed out by now, and every decision has consequences for a change. Dolim and the other Reptilians also up the stakes by taking matters into their own hands, solidifying the realness of the threat of the weapon that was nebulous up to this point.

“Twilight”: Ames, Caitlin, Jake We get a good amount of agreement for this genuinely impressive, well-written, well-acted episode that deviates a little from the Xindi plot while also fitting into the season perfectly. The idea of the interspatial parasites causing Archer to lose his short-term memory is a great sci-fi concept, and the resolution is so clever that we’re fully onboard for a full reset ending that, in less skilled hands, would seem convenient.

“Similitude”: Ames, Caitlin, Chris, Jake But the episode that gets the vote of all of your SSHB hosts is a new twist on the “Tuvix�� dilemma. Connor Trineer absolutely goes all out as his duplicate, Sim, and we feel devastated at the end when the inevitable occurs. Archer and Phlox are, frankly, monsters to do this to a person; there’s no debate on that. But what we walk away with is a heart-wrenching acting showcase for all the different Trip iterations we meet.

—

Bottom Three Episodes

And now, what we’re all here for: shitting on all the bad things from this morally reprehensible season. From all the war crimes, to the racial profiling, to the missed opportunities and even more recycled shots, this season just plain has so many low points.

“Doctor’s Orders”: Jake Like how “E²” is just DS9’s “Children of Time” but with Enterprise paint (and not as good), this episode is just Voyager’s “One” but with Enterprise paint (and also not as good). If you’re going to entirely rehash a story your franchise has already done, at least change it up a little. Watching Phlox and T’Pol wander around while everyone else is put under just makes you think, “Dang, Jeri Ryan did this way better.”

“Chosen Realm”: Caitlin Every so often, Star Trek tries to make a point about religion and faith as compared to the science and logic of its main characters, and this is one of those times it bungles it. Like with Voyager’s “Sacred Ground,” this one doesn’t quite make the argument it thinks it’s making. And then it manages to somehow make a joke of all of it by having the religious factions be at war over something purely trivial. Blah.

“Rajiin”: Caitlin We could have called a mile away that Rajiin was up to no good and saving her was going to be a mistake. And it’s not like we were really missing watching T’Pol getting sexually assaulted all the time like in “Fusion” – we really didn’t need yet another oversexed scene of her getting pawed at by some villain or other. Everything was just predictable, boring, and repetitive.

“Carpenter Street”: Jake As if we haven’t had enough mind-boggling time travel from the Temporal Cold War arc, Daniels has to drop by and stir up shit again. There’s just something dissatisfying about the Detroit plot. The Reptilians’ need for all the blood types is just contrived. Bringing T’Pol of all people is just begging for Vulcan shenanigans. The whole thing should be Daniels’s problem and he refuses to do jack about it!

“North Star”: Ames As an episode that’s “Spectre of the Gun” meets “The Paradise Syndrome,” this one probably belonged in The Original Series. A Cowboys-and-Indians story feels entirely out of place in the current era of Trek, and that’s all the more bolstered by the fact that we’re in the middle of the Xindi arc and take a week off to dress up in spurs and ride horseys. The anti-racist message also seems just too easy, especially considering how racist Archer is being the rest of this season.

“Damage”: Chris Archer makes a lot of deplorable decisions this season. From ordering the Sim clone made in “Similitude,” to memory-wiping Degra in “Strategem,” to torturing that Osaarian pirate from “Anomaly,” to treating the first Xindi we meet in “The Xindi” like trash, he’s a bad captain. But stealing from the Illyrians might take the cake because these people were innocent and Archer acts like it was necessary. Oh, and making T’Pol a junkie was a weird writing choice.

“Hatchery”: Ames, Caitlin, Chris For once Archer is in the right in this episode! Purely incidentally, he’s advocating for treating the Xindi-Insectoid babies like people and not letting them die, and the rest of the crew mutinies because he’s not committing enough war crimes. But the episode undoes what could have been a moral lesson by having Archer’s mind be compromised, and it makes me throw things because they were this close, people!

“Harbinger”: Ames, Chris, Jake When the constant sexualizing of T’Pol is actually the highlight of your episode, you know you’ve done fucked up. First, we’ve got Reed being a Big Baby™ about Major Hayes being insubordinate – something that comes entirely out of left field. But even worse than that is Archer finding a being in some anomaly and deciding to torture him. We’ve never even met his kind before and his first impulse is to treat him like the enemy with absolutely no proof. God, I hate this season.

—

Purportedly season four actually starts to pick up, so what do you all think? Was this the lowest of the low? Is it all [relatively] uphill from here? Find out as we continue to watch through Enterprise on SoundCloud (or wherever you podcast). Let us know your least favorite season of Trek overall over on Facebook and Twitter, and maybe commit a couple fewer war crimes than Archer. Just a couple.

[7cfc00]

home is where the heart is (and yours is gone)

[nocasdatsgay]

Now Behave

Pairing: Azriel/Eris/F-Reader| Rated: E | Word Count: 4253

Neapolitan Bonds masterlist here

Summary: Sequel to Be Good. Azriel gets his punishment for misbehaving

CW: Rope play, fire play, shadow play, edging, P in V sex, face fucking, spanking/impact play, aftercare, use of y/n, mild daddy kink, unbetaed, Dom!Eris, Bratty!Az

A/N: I hope this lives up to the hype. Minors look away. If i missed a warning let me know

Read here on ao3 |Read Be Good | Read Below

You sat pretty on the brown couch in the playroom, with nothing but your red silk nightgown on while Eris tied up Azriel in similar colored rope. Az was stripped and kneeled on the long cushion across from you. His wings were relaxed, partly spread on the rug. Eris tied the ropes in a similar fashion that had been on you before: a basic harness. Az’s hands were tied behind his back and the ropes came around to his chest. You noticed immediately how the rope emphasized his pecs. If you could touch him you’d be on your knees licking up his chest. 

“Do you know why I’m tying you up?” Eris asked, tugging on the front binds and ensuring they weren’t too tight.

“Yea,” Az grumbled back. 

“And why is that?” Azriel didn’t answer. Eris reached down and grabbed his chin, forcing him to look up. “Why is it?” 

Az glared at him. “Because someone’s a bitch who couldn’t handle a little teasing.” 

Your eyes widened and you were so sure Eris would slap him. He didn’t. Instead he let go and walked over to the dresser at the back wall. He pulled out a silk cloth and came back to tie it around Azriel’s mouth. 

“You were a brat yesterday and a very bad boy. You not only distracted me while working, you edged y/n seven times that I counted through the bond. Which is well past her limit and what I originally asked of you.”

“Seven?” You gasped. You squeezed your thighs together out of reflex. “Azriel!” 

You didn’t think he edged you that much. But you were so far gone you weren’t counting. Your limit was five and that was over the course of hours. How you hadn’t cum on accident was a miracle. Az wouldn’t look at you. He simply scowled and stared at the carpet. 

“So now,” Eris stepped back and rolled up the sleeves of his shirt. “You’re going to sit there and think about what you did. I’m going to play with our mate and when we’re done, I’m going to show you what it’s like to be edged seven times.” 

Az kept his stony expression but you could feel through the bond his worry- and his anticipation. Even if you didn’t want to, you shut the bond down. Whatever happened next, Az wasn’t allowed to feel. That was one of the rules agreed upon. You glanced up when Eris came up to you and he reached out, gently tilting your head up by your chin. Your eyes followed to look up at his amber ones. 

“What do you want?” 

“I want you in my mouth.” 

He hummed. “Up.” 

He let you go and you almost leaped off the couch. Your eyes quickly grazed over him, want twisted in the pit of your stomach. You hadn’t fully taken in what he was wearing, too focused on Azriel. He was wearing a tight green button up in a style you hadn’t seen before with the sleeves rolled up his forearms. Newer pants with buttons instead of laces. Every inch of him radiated High Lord even without traditional Autumn clothing. He sat on the couch and you sank down into your knees between his legs. 

“These are new,” you whispered, reaching out and tracing where his cock strained against the buttons. 

“A gift.” You tilted your head at him. He sighed. “From the human lands.”

Ah. You knew instantly why he didn’t elaborate further. You nodded and leaned up to undo the buttons. You wasted no time pushing up his shirt and pulling out his cock to stroke it. A long time ago, you’d be ashamed at how your mouth watered and slickness gathered on your thighs from just thinking about taking him in your mouth. Instead you just leaned in and licked the underside of him before taking him into your mouth. 

“That’s a good girl,” he sighed, hands immediately going into your hair. 

There was no rush. You lazily bobbed your head, your tongue stroking around every inch you could take without gagging. The bond between you hummed with contentment. You were so focused you almost didn’t notice a cool stroke on your exposed leg. You felt it again you stopped and glanced up at Eris. He grinned at you, tugging the bond. You pulled back and turned around to glare at Az. 

“Keep your shadows to yourself,” you said sternly. 

The shadow on your leg slinked away. Az’s eyebrows shot up and he shrunk back on his knees. Eris didn’t hold back his laugh and you knew Az was likely stewing in embarrassment. He hated being ignored but hated being chastised more. You heard him whine as you decided to climb onto Eris’s lap. Warm hands rubbed your thighs while you straddled him and reached between you to guide yourself onto him. 

“Oh Eris,” you gasped loudly on purpose as you sank down onto his cock. 

You loved sitting on his lap, his length filling you perfectly each time. You gave yourself a second to adjust. Eris pulled at your gown, tugging it up to your waist. You knew it was so Az could watch. 

“Take what you need, love.” 

You placed one hand by Eris’s head on the couch and leaned in to press your lips to his. His mouth parted to let your tongue in and you moaned into his mouth as you lifted your hips and sank back down again. His warm hands drifted to your rear, groping and squeezing while you found your rhythm. 

You shifted your knees just a little bit further apart to be able to sink down farther. You pulled away to moan when his cock hit that sweet spot. He didn’t stop you as you moved faster and dropped down harder. Your forehead pressed against his and he whispered soft words of encouragement. In turn your moans grew louder. The strap of your gown fell down the arm you were now using to undo the buttons on his shirt. 

“So good for me, princess.” His voice was haggard. He pushed down the strap more and cupped your breast, his thumb circling your nipple. “Can you cum for me like this?”

“Yes,” you gasped. You were so close. 

“Do that for me, love.” 

Just enough of a High Lord command laced in his statement that your body responded. You were vocal as you came apart, knees squeezing against Eris’s thighs while you pulsed around him. You slowed your movements and eventually fell onto Eris, burying your face against his neck while you came down. You caught your breath, his sweet scent calming you. 

“You did so well,” he muttered, a hand slipping up your back to caress your skin. 

You finally sighed and moved off him. The first thing you noticed was how hard he felt as you lifted off of him. 

“Er,” you glanced down, frowning. He hadn’t cum. 

“I have plans, princess.” 

That grin was wicked. You had a feeling even in the hazy warmth of a good climax what he was planning. You knew it had everything to do with your mate sitting pretty across the room. Sure enough Eris trained his eyes on Az, stroking himself. It did not escape you that his cock was covered in you. Eris stood and tugged up his pants enough to walk over to where Az was waiting. You moved down the couch to get a better view. 

“I’m going to take this off,” Eris tugged at the silk gag off and tossed it to the floor. “And I’m going to use your mouth since that’s all it’s good for. You even get a taste of y/n as a treat. Your shadows are going to stroke you until I’m done and you cannot cum. Understood?” 

Az glared up at Eris. He didn’t reply; merely opened his mouth and stuck his tongue out. He must have tugged on the bond; since Eris mumbled something you couldn’t hear when he stepped closer to push his cock into Az’s mouth. 

You opened up your bond to Az. Just because he couldn’t feel your pleasure, didn’t mean you couldn’t feel his. Your eyes widened a little as a wave of warmth hit you. From the way Az acted you thought he would be fighting it internally.  

You curled up on the couch and watched while Eris fucked Az’s mouth. You committed every second to memory- it wasn’t often Az was the one submitting completely like this. And by the gods he was pretty under the fae lights, eyes glazed over while tears ran down his cheeks. You hazard a guess that it was more from the shadows ghosting along his cock than the one in his mouth. 

Your eyes trailed over to Eris. You didn’t miss how he was constantly touching Az; brushing his hair back, fingers smoothing his brows and dipping down to wipe tears away. It was a stark contrast to the rough way he was thrusting into Az’s mouth and throat. You could feel through his bond that he was close. 

As you expected, Az gagged when Eris gripped his hair, pulling him down all the way. Eris’s head fell back and he groaned as his came down your mate’s throat, holding him there until you felt Eris’s pleasure subside through the bond. 

“So you can behave,” Eris said, panting, pulling out Azriel’s mouth. “Stop your shadows.”

Shadows scuttled away from Azriel’s hard cock. You watched Eris tuck himself back into his trousers, moving buttons into place while Az caught his breath. Eris pulled out a cloth from his back pocket and wiped the drool off of Az’s chin. 

“That was one,” he said, tilting Az’s head up. “Six more to go, only this time you’ll tell us to stop when you feel close. Understood?” 

“Yes.” 

“I’ll be using my magic. Is that okay?”

“Yea.” 

There was no change in how Az felt through the bond. Which meant he was truthful. Eris went to fix the buttons on his shirt as he walked back to the couch. When he sat down he patted beside him, wanting you to scoot over to him. As you did, he threw out his hand, flames with no heat immediately circling Az’s cock. He gasped but otherwise didn’t speak. 

He turned on the couch as you crawled over so you could lay against his chest. You sighed and stretched your legs out while he wrapped his arms around you. He started to play with your hair and you were both silent. You almost fell asleep from how comfortable you were, if it hadn’t been for Az. 

“Stop,” Az gasped. 

You jolted, blinking. Eris called back his flames. 

“Two,” Eris said with a drawl of emphasized boredom. 

You knew exactly the game they were now playing. Not even a minute passed and flames went back to Az. You swore you heard him whine. 

“Do you want to talk about why you disobeyed and embarrassed me yesterday?” Eris asked, he twisted his hand and the flames moved faster. 

“I,” Az's body shuttered. “You don’t own me.” 

You sighed. “Az, why did you disobey daddy?” 

That was the first time you’d spoken to him softly since this started. And that seemed too much for him. 

“Stop,” Az sobbed and the magic disappeared. 

“That’s only three,” Eris said, shaking his head.  “And so much quicker than the first two. Four more to go. Unless you want to talk?” 

The look Az shot Eris would have set him on fire if he had those powers. Flames returned again. You thought about using your own magic but you didn’t have permission. This was between Az and Eris. 

He seemed to last longer this time, be it from stubbornness or how slower the flames moved. You watched him struggle- shifting his knees and scrunching his face until he finally yelled stop again. Flames left just his hard cock that was leaking against his stomach. Gods you wished he hadn’t been a brat so you could put your mouth on him. 

“Four. Can you explain yourself or do you want to keep going?” 

Eris got up this time and went to him, hands on his hips. 

“Give me a second,” Az panted. 

“I don’t think you gave y/n a second to breathe. What’s your color?” 

“Yellow.” 

Az stared at the ground, cheeks darkened. You sent some love through the bond. Az was always difficult about being honest with his head space; him admitting they needed to slow down was a big step. 

“Good boy,” Eris ran his hands through Azriel’s hair. “Can you get us some water, princess?” 

You nodded and left the room. The water was in your chamber’s sitting room down the hall. It only took you a minute to walk in and pour a glass from the pitcher. It was a mating gift from the Winter High Lord and High Lady. The pitcher and special glasses were spelled to always keep the water cool. You came back to Eris kneeling in front of Az whispering to him. You could feel the embarrassment Az was feeling in the bond. 

“Eris be nice,” you chastised, holding out the glass. 

“I am, that’s the problem. Isn't it my star?” Love laced Eris’s tone. “Baby boy can’t take a compliment.”

“Shut up,” Az grumbled. 

Eris simply grinned and held the glass to his lips. Az eagerly took the water, draining the glass quickly before turning and gasping. Eris handed you the glass back. 

“Is that enough or do you want more?” 

“ ‘M fine.” 

“We’ll continue then.”  

Eris went towards the couch and in a hurry, you winnowed to the sitting room to put the glass down and winnowed back. You could feel Eris laughing at you through the bond. That reminded you to make sure your bond shut to Az again. Eris grinned at you and gestured you over. This time you sat in his lap. He hummed as you draped yourself on him and pulled you close. Eris sent out his flames and Az moaned. You tried to not look, burying your face into the curve of Eris’s neck while his hand slipped between your legs. You squeezed your thighs around his hand. 

You whimpered. “Sensitive.” 

“You only came once, baby,” Eris said with a chuckle and pushed a finger up between your folds to graze against your clit. “I think you can give me another.”

You shifted without thinking to spread your legs just a bit farther apart. Your breath quickened when he started moving his fingers just the way you liked it. 

“That’s my girl,” he whispered. “Can you cum before Az asks to stop?” 

“Yea.” You kissed his neck. 

“You’re so messy.” He moved his fingers faster. “I can feel you dripping on my pants.” 

You keened and to keep from yelling starting sucking that spot near his jaw you knew he liked. You were rewarded with a groan and you felt him start to harden again in his pants. You wanted to draw it out but Eris knew you too well. One shift of his fingers, and you pulled back gasping. You came, clenching on nothing while he rubbed you through it. He pulled his hand back and held it to your mouth. 

“Open.” 

You obliged and he stuck his fingers in your mouth. You hummed, tasting yourself on them and licked them clean. You almost forgot Az was kneeling across from you. 

“Fuck stop. I-” he gasped. 

You jerked your head away and Eris pulled back the flames but Az still cursed. A moment later, he groaned when his hips jerked as he came. 

Oh no. 

You moved off Eris immediately. He stood and magicked the mess away while Az hung his head panting. 

“I didn’t tell you to come. You couldn’t even make it past five,” Eris looked down at him, frowning. “Pathetic. Guess we should start over.”

“I can’t.” Tears fell down his cheeks. 

“You can’t? Or you won’t? Can’t isn’t our safeword.” 

Azriel whined. You looked around the room quickly and an idea came to you. You tugged on the bond to Eris. He turned towards you. 

“Suggestions?” 

“Maybe instead he can choose a different punishment?” 

Eris crossed his arms and watched you go to the wall with the toys. You picked up the paddle and the flogger. Az always liked the flogger more but you were lenient. You walked up to Az and held them out. His shadows swirled around the paddle. You then turned and handed it to Eris. 

“Our mate is too kind to you, my star.” He said to Az. “Is this what you want?” Az nodded. “You’ll count; four hits. One for coming when I didn’t tell you to. Three for the rest of the ones you skipped just now.” 

“Okay.” 

“Do you want to stand or lean on the couch?”

“Stand.” Az muttered. “Wings are stiff.” 

Eris grabbed the front of the harness and lifted Az up like he weighed nothing. Of course that did something for you. He brought Az over to the middle of the room. Az let his wings flare out damn near reaching the ceiling. You opened the bond and you could feel the relief coming off him. Eris waited until his wings relaxed and went around him. You hated that you couldn’t see what Eris was doing, but a soft push from the bond told you he wanted Az facing you.  

“I’m going to hold you in place and after a hit I want you to say what number you’re on. If you lose count, we start over.” 

“Yes sir.” Az stared at the ground. 

Eris moved to the left and you saw the swing of the paddle. The smack was loud and Az’s back arched from the hit. 

“One,” he gasped. 

Eris may as well hit you also for how it shot through you. You moaned, heat flaring between your legs. You couldn’t help it. Eris leaned around to look at you with a dark grin on his face. 

“This is new,” Eris ran his gaze over you. “Do you like watching your sir get punished, princess?”

“Yes.” No sense in lying when he could smell you. 

Az groaned, his cock jumping against his stomach. Eris must have done something. You could smell Az’s scent become thicker in the air and it made your own core throb. 

“Show us,” Eris said. “Show us how hot it makes you to see Az take his punishment.” 

“Yes, daddy.” 

You settled back on the couch, spreading your legs and propping on foot up on the cushions. Your fingers dipped between your legs and Eris grabbed Azriel’s chin, forcing him to look. 

“See that, my star? You could be fucking her right now but you were a brat. Now our princess has to take care of herself.”

Az whined watching you dip your fingers into your cunt. Gods you wanted this to be over. That’s what you focused on while you touched yourself. Maybe tomorrow if Az wasn’t sore you’d both stay in bed. You weren’t even paying attention until you heard the smack and Az count to two. You clenched around your fingers at the noise. The third smack, you squealed, almost coming on your fingers and Az yelled three.

“One more.” Eris whispered. “What’s your color?” 

“Green, so fuckin green.” Az panted. He always liked pain the best. 

“Don’t you dare cum,” you heard Eris hissed in his ear. “I know you’re thinking about it.”

Indeed, his cock was hard and red again against his stomach. You bit your lip and pulled your fingers out to swirl them on your clit. You looked up to see Az staring you in the eyes. 

“I promise.” 

You held his gaze as your breath quickened. You opened the bond a little. Your eyes fluttered; Az was definitely riding a high right now. Your gaze went to where Eris was and had stepped back. Your eyes went back to Az’s while the paddle came down.

He yelled; you gasped, coming again for the third time that night. 

“Four.” Az sighed. 

“Now have we learned our lesson?” Eris asked, dragging his hand along the rope so he could walk in front of Az without letting go for too long. 

“Yes, daddy,” Az muttered.

You stood on shaky legs and walked up to them. 

“Can I?” You held up your fingers. 

Eris chuckled. “Of course, filthy girl.” 

You stuck your wet fingers into Azriel’s mouth and he moaned around them. His tongue licked them clean. You pulled them back quickly. 

“That’s all you’re getting.” 

Az hummed in response, gaze glossy. Eris hand you the paddle. You took it and went to wipe it down while he began to undo the ropes. 

“Do you want to talk about it now?” Eris wrapped the silk rope around his hand as he went. 

“Bath,” Az grumbled. “I want a bath. Please.”

“Can you sit?” You asked. 

You put the paddle away and came up to him. You rubbed his freed arm and wrist while Eris untied the other side. 

“That was nothing.” He gave you his signature smirk. 

“We will put balm on you after a bath.” Eris replied, matter of fact. “Take him while I put these away.” 

You nodded and looped your arm around him. Shadows now flurried around you and you giggled a little when they brushed up against your cheeks. They too, seemed happy they could touch you again. Walk to the bath was short; you used your magic to turn on the water and stop the drain. Az didn’t say anything while the bath filled. You helped him in after grabbing a towel and sitting it on the ledge. He stopped you when you went to pull your gown off. 

“If you get in with me, I won’t be able to stop myself.”

You pouted, and pointed to the spot in front of you.  “Even I sit over here?” 

Az groaned and slid down the side to lower his wings in the water farther. You noticed his shadows seemed to be hiding- or resting out of sight. Then you smelt Eris before you heard him walk in. 

“We can bathe later,” he said, coming up behind you and pulling you in to kiss the top of your head. “Our star needs a reward for behaving.” 

Az opened one eye, squinting. “Don’t tease me daddy.” 

“You still said it, willingly I might add.” Eris retorted. 

“Wet your hair,” you pulled from Eris and walked to the right side of the bath. “I’ll wash it.” 

Az grumbled but dunked his head under. You sat on the ledge and grabbed the shampoo, pouring some in your hand before you started running your fingers through his hair. He groaned again and leaned back, letting you slowly massage his scalp. Eris walked around and sat on the left side. 

“Are you ready to talk?”

“Yea.” There was silence and finally Az sighed. “I’m sorry for showing out yesterday.” 

“Hmmm, and what made you do that?” 

You muttered to Az you were going to rinse his hair and you used one of the small pitchers, water pouring over his head and washing the suds away. You grabbed a cloth and soap and started washing his shoulders. You were careful to not touch his wings. 

“Rhys was here and-“ he stopped when he noticed you stilled your hand. “I just mean I knew he was here and, I don’t know.” You tugged the bond gently and went back to washing him. 

Eris sighed heavily. “Azriel.”

“I’m sorry.” Az hung his head and stared at the water. You rinsed his back and gestured him to lean back. “I wasn’t thinking about his visit being work. I just wanted to show off.”

“Show off?” You tilted your head. 

His cheeks darkened under your scrutiny while you scrubbed his chest. You instantly realized this had more to do with Az and Eris’s history than your own. 

“I’m all for being territorial and showing off the effects you have on me, but there is a time and place for it,” Eris said sternly. “I forgive you. But if it happens again, I won’t just be punishing you for fun. It doesn’t matter how long it’s been, I’m still a new High Lord in their eyes. That type of bratty behavior in the wrong situation can have dire consequences.” 

“I know.” You both heard Az’s voice crack. 

“My star,” Eris reached out and cupped Az’s cheek. “I love you.” 

“I love you,” he echoed back. 

You leaned in and kissed his other cheek. “Let’s finish cleaning you up. Then we can go to bed.” 

Eris caught your eye as you leaned back. “I think you should go ahead and bathe also. Two birds, two stones or whatever Lucien heard those humans say.” 

“I think I agree.” 

You suppressed your grin, dropping the cloth in the waters and pulling off your gown. You climbed into the bath with Az. Eris left to get ready for bed and you took your time finishing cleaning Az and yourself. You both spent a little bit longer in the bath than needed. Mostly lazy kissing and you muttering how much you loved him while the shadows returned and darted around you both. A light tug in your chest made you sigh. 

“Eris says we’re taking too long.” Az grunted in response. “Let's get out and go to bed.”

Az sighed. “Okay.” 

Tagging: @hieragalbatorixdottir

[starry-bi-sky]

finally giving fem danyal her own au and fulfilling my 'danny is an animal whisperer' agenda at the same time: mother of monsters danyal 2.0

i say "2.0" because TECHNICALLY 'mother of monsters danyal' is an au I made back in June for Dark fem!Danyal (who I promptly named Layal). However, I haven't posted much for her yet, and I like the "mother of monsters" premise too much to leave it only to Layal. Plus Danyal in that au was going to become the mother of monsters anyway, just with significantly less world domination and mass extinction.

'Animal whisperer' Danny has been something I've been thinking about since my latest DP 'wolfpack au' post and it's! So fun to think about, and who no better to assign the idea to than Danyal Al Ghul? Who comes from a family infamously known for their love of animals and nature?

Fem Danyal is just purely self-indulgent. *gestures wildly at her* i just lomvb,,, her,,,, I've only really mentioned her in context of the 'Things in Threes' au/my first Danyal al Ghul au with the facial scar, but she's!!! I love her. She deserves her own au <33

So kill three birds with one stone! Make a post about it.

Anyways, Danny has a large lair. Similar to cult leader danyal, her lair is a giant mountain region resembling nanda parbat with a big temple/palace-like area built into the mountain. It's large, it's overflowing with natural flora, with its own mini-floating islands hovering over some areas, and it's also completely empty.

Danny takes one look at her lair upon first meeting, -- noting that it looked relatively smaller from the outside -- and promptly, with the elegance of an Al Ghul, goes "What the hell??" Because yes, while she does enjoy her own solitude and privacy, this is a bit ridiculous.

For heaven's sake, there's even a massive lake in there! What's she going to do with all this space? Can she make it any smaller? Why is it so big in the first place? This looks borderline like one of the mega-islands!

She finds out later that apparently, the amount of ectoplasm a ghost has can have an effect on the size of their lair. And since she has such a large core, her lair reflects that. Wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey stuff, it's bigger on the inside so it doesn't take up "too much space" on the outside. Don't worry about it too much.

Danyal isn't totally opposed to having such a large lair, she's just... a bit baffled by it. It feels like so much wasted space is all. All this flora and no fauna to enjoy it with. It's practically eerie.

She decorates her temple-palace area, transforming rooms to match her needs as she sees fit. In the center of the inner gardens is a massive tree that she likes to climb, with twisting, winding branches. Sam and Tucker have honorary rooms, even if they can't safely leave the specter speeder for long periods of time, even with proper safety equipment. So does Jazz. Ali (Dani) has one too, but he can actually use that one, and Danny brought him to her lair so he could decorate it himself.

She has a personal garden, but for the most part she lets the flora exist as it is. Too much space to cultivate it en masse anyways.

Skip to a few weeks later, on her next visit to Clockwork. She developed a habit of going to see him semi-regularly just because. She enjoys his wisdom, and he has a lot of stories to tell, and when he's not being the cryptic and esoteric timekeeper, he's a bit goofy.

(pushing my dadwork agenda here,,, i think Danny deserves to go 'hey, Lord Clockwork, do you want me to buy you something' while she's at walmart, only to receive a singular glowing sticky note that says 'cucumber gatorade'.)

(She insists on referring to him with his proper titles even for the most mundane of things because it's proper, but Clockwork sees a future where she eventually calls him "Cee" and by all things in existence is he determined to get there. Anyways,,,)

On her next visit to Clockwork, just as she is about to leave, Clockwork stops her and goes; "Ah, I have something for you. Hold out your hands."

Danny does as such, and Clockwork doesn't give out things often, so her curiosity has spiked to the highest levels. He turns away from her for a moment, using his staff to summon whatever it is he needs, and when he turns around.

He drops a fish into her hands. Granted, a fish in a small glass tank. But a fish nonetheless. A small one, roughly about the size of her finger, with a blue-black, eel-shaped body and four sets of glowing eyes. She can see thin, almost translucent, but spiny fins down its back and the start of bioluminescent markings. It's swimming around in circles in its small container.

"Lord Clockwork." Danyal says all too calmly.

"Yes, Danyal?"

"What is this?"

"That is an adolescent leviathan, Danyal." She’s transfixed onto the tank, but she doesn’t need to see Clockwork’s face to hear the smile he’s stifling.

The myriad of emotions that runs through her all at once threatens to overwhelm her, and she can’t tell if the feelings are negative or positive. So she carefully closes her eyes to breathe in through her nose.

“Clockwork.”

“Ah, I see you’ve dropped formalities.”

She ignores that.

“Why have you given me an adolescent leviathan?”

She's expecting the trickster to look amused when she opens her eyes. Instead, he just looks endeared. "I know you're fond of animals," he says, "and you always look amazed when you come across an animal of the realms. So I thought you might enjoy taking care of the young beast, it's mother is dead so it has no one to care for it."

Oh.

"But, if you don't like it," Clockwork's hands reach out for the tank, "I can simply take it back--"

Danyal shifts the tank out from his reach and hugs it possessively. "I never said that. How do I care for it?"

And so clockwork gives her a list, and when Danyal returns to her lair, she sets up a large tank in her room for the leviathan to swim in -- it's much too small for the lake right now, she thinks. She'll feel better if it's somewhere she can find it. She names him Suhā.

Suhā grows quickly, and by the end of the mortal month she transforms one of the rooms into a large pond for him to swim around in. He's a very loyal beast, recognizing her as it's mother of some kind. Danyal takes great care ensuring that her beastie gets quality care, and Suhā swims to the surface to see her when he senses her in the room.

It spirals from there. Somehow, Pandora catches wind that Clockwork gave her a leviathan, and so the next time Danyal visits the Greater Athens, she gives her a baby chimera. It's eyes are still sealed shut, Danyal can't bring herself to say no. She names the little beastie Firas.

Frostbite hears about it too, and not to be outdone, gives her an animal she's never even heard of. Infinite-realms born, apparently. A fox-like creature with two small horns like an impala, four eyes, and tall legs. The name isn't something she's quite sure how to write down, and she's positive that her friends won't be able to comprehend it. She names her Eira.

Getting the three of them used to each other was... interesting. Suhā tried to eat Firas when Danyal first introduced the two, and they've hated each other ever since. Firas and Eira are seemingly getting along. Her island already feels full enough with the three of them on it.

Of course, that's not the end of it. With her luck, she begins stumbling across other monsters. Realms-borne or otherwise. An injured hydra in the Grecian islands that, through lots of trial and error, Danyal is able to rehabilitate and heal. It routinely comes to visit her afterwards.

A griffin with a broken wing that she moves permanently to the island that likes to keep to itself, but tends to come down when she's near. It gets along best with Firas.

A panther-like monster from the Shades Woods that had six legs and three tails, with ends that reminded her of a venus flytrap. It stuck around the heavy foliage and she can only make out where it was when she saw its golden eyes reflect.

She befriends a young indrik with its leg injured, and much like the hydra it follows her back to her island, and stays there in the mountains. It comes out when she's alone, much like her other beasts.

She receives two more leviathan -- one from clockwork, and one she finds herself while exploring the deeper and darker recesses of the Ghost Zone. It was huddled against the carcass of its mother, and she managed to befriend and get close enough to it to bring it back to her island. Suhā is fully grown by then, with a head bigger than Danyal herself and he still likes to stick her head out of the water for nuzzles when she's near.

He's not very happy with his new siblings, but he's not trying to eat them when she's not looking. So she calls it a win in her book.

And it's not just large beasts either; smaller animals begin popping up when she's not looking. Bird-like creatures and small mammals, and she swears she saw a doe (or something resembling a doe) grazing in the forest while she was walking by.

She takes back with her a lone snake egg once, and it grows so big it wraps around her island and sleeps with its massive head on the mountain beside the temple, like some smaller breed of Jörmungandr.

And on and on it goes. Some of the beasts she comes across never step foot onto her island, some of them follow her back, while others she has to carry back. Not all of the ones that follow her stay, and Danny rehabilitates the injured and releases them when they're fully healed.

It's hectic, and busy, and frankly she loves it. Some of her rehabilitated beasts return to visit her, or to have their children somewhere on the island, or whatever it is they need to do.

She becomes a bit infamous for it. She goes to visit Dorathea once, and as she's walking through the streets she can hear some of the denizens whispering while she walks past.

"Is that her?"

"Her highness' friend? Yes--"

"--that's the one--"

"--Mother of monsters--"

Danny's not sure how to feel about that.

Although, she can't say she's opposed.

Danyal Al Ghul, Mother of monsters, raiser of beasts. It has a nice ring to it.

[aq2003]

i have officially found my least favorite 10th doctor take in the entire world. this post was specifically crafted in a lab to make me fuming fucking mad

[lefthandarm-man]

Bucky Barnes // The Winter Soldier Captain America: Civil War (2016)

the way he looks at steve (part 1, part 2, part 3)

(steve vers.)