#a night in sickbay

[sshbpodcast]

Character Spotlight: Hoshi Sato

By Ames

We’ve come to the criminally underused characters of Enterprise, and we’re really stretching to come up with things they did. Hoshi Sato may have a few more feats under her belt than Mayweather, but it’s just sad when you look back through the list and realize how little these two characters do, especially in comparison to the three main characters. Somehow it was easier spotlighting Christine Chapel on The Original Series.

That’s not to say the hosts here at A Star to Steer Her By didn’t like the Hoshi that we did get from the show. She’s highly competent, caring, and fast-learning, like any good linguist should be. So crack open a language dictionary as we scrape together all the good and bad moments from Ensign Sato, below and in this week’s podcast episode (jump to timestamp 44:15). We’re on a 50-day language-learning streak!

[Images © CBS/Paramount]

Best moments

Find the hidden pineapple Even though it was emphatically not her job and she actually had better things to be doing during “Silent Enemy,” we’ve got to hand it to Hoshi for figuring out the pineapple mystery! Tasked by Archer, who must’ve considered party planning women’s work or something, with figuring out the enigmatic Reed’s favorite food, our girl achieves the impossible!

I wish I could just ignore my feelings. Bury them the way Vulcans do. Not only does Sato learn Klingonese in a couple hours in “Broken Bow,” but she puts it to good use when stuck on a Klingon ship in a decaying orbit in “Sleeping Dogs.” Even better, we get that great scene between her and T’Pol in which the Vulcan helps her build her confidence, calm her nerves, and be the leaf on the wind we know she can be.

I think it’s trying to give us an exact location of the planet So many of the Hoshi highlights could just be boiled down to doing her damn job, but this one is particularly clever. In “Vox Sola,” she’s able to figure out how to communicate with the jizz alien and learn the location of the rest of its organism on its home planet. Why the people who are mentally linked with it couldn’t have done that is anyone’s guess though.

The universal language of “unf” Hoshi is also the only one of our Enterprise characters to have a good time on Risa, when she spends the night with that cute boy, Ravis, in “Two Days and Two Nights.” Their geeking out together over languages gives them instant chemistry, and can we also just say how nice it was to have a female character enjoying sex without any narrative consequences?

Going a little batty We may learn much later that Hoshi studied aikido in the academy and has some smooth moves, but we get to see her quick reflexes as early as “A Night in Sickbay” when she catches Phlox’s loose bat. The doctor and the captain spend a whole scene being made to look like fools by the flying mammal, but Hoshi plucks it out of the air the second she walks in.

I used to make the same mistake In an earlier episode, Sato learned from Reed how to use phase pistols, so it’s really nice to see her paying it forward by teaching Maklii a trick that helped her in “Marauders.” Reed couldn’t look more proud of her than when she shows off some target practice to the villagers whom they’re Seven Samurai’ing in the customary training montage.

Million pieces take a long time to put together Dream or not, Hoshi still shows a lot of bravery and growth in overcoming her transporter phobia in “Vanishing Point.” She sure still thinks it’s real when she follows the aliens onto their transporter pad when it appears they’re sabotaging the ship. And when she’s back, Reed determines some new transporter protocols to suggest to Starfleet.

Don’t go in the West Wing! While I’ll nitpick in our next section about the way she went about it, you can’t deny that Hoshi holds her own while in Tarquin’s cushy mansion in “Exile.” When that control freak is trying to appear to Hoshi as Archer, she figures out his ruse, and she threatens to destroy his telepathy enhancer to keep him from destroying the ship and imprisoning her for the rest of her life.

Believe it or not, that was “Have a nice day,” or its equivalent One more good example of some great translating work from Sato comes in “Azati Prime.” We hear one of our most alien languages yet from the Xindi Insectoids, and she programs the shuttle that Trip and Mayweather need to go behind enemy lines on the eponymous planet. With five different species of Xindi, that’s a lot of new languages to learn on the fly! 

She’s added a layer of encryption! Even the Xindi Reptilians are impressed with Sato’s translating skills, so much that they kidnap her in “The Council.” But she resists as much as humanly possible in “Countdown,” going so far as to try to leap to her death to get out of their scaly hands. And kudos to my girl for initially making the encryption even more complex as an act of defiance while in their clutches.

I have a black belt in aikido Somehow, we don’t get scenes of Hoshi kicking literal ass until “Affliction,” all the way in late season four, and that’s a crying shame. We’ve known since “Observer Effect” that she has a black belt in aikido, and she finally shows us some moves when she and Phlox are accosted by Rigellians outside Madame Chang’s when Phlox gets kidnapped for the Klingons.

When you play the game of captain’s chairs, you win or you die Sure, this one’s actually Mirror Hoshi, but it’s so badass it’s worth including! Hoshi in the mirror universe in “In a Mirror, Darkly” is playing all the men so well you can’t help rooting for her. She knows how to play the game, sidling up to Forrest, then Archer. And when she poisons Archer and names herself Empress, that’s a dynasty we can get behind.

—

Worst moments

I believe that children are the future It’s not all gravy for Hoshi, and frankly, we don’t even get why she agrees to join this expedition from the start. In “Broken Bow,” Archer barges into her classroom, cutting class short, which is a very early reason to dislike him. But this is about Hoshi who, despite making it clear that the students need her until their exams in two weeks, leaves her tropical teaching job for this man.

I should have never left the university Oh look, we’re the next episode after the pilot and Hoshi is already regretting that decision to join the crew and ready to jump ship. Throughout all of “Fight or Flight,” she’s in over her head and not taking it well. I can relate; I’d be overwhelmed too. But it’s a bit infantilizing to establish her so early and so thoroughly as someone who can’t adapt to the situations at hand.

You’re going to do just fine here First off, Hoshi has stolen Sluggo from her home planet in “Fight or Flight,” nearly gets her killed, and then dumps her on some alien planet where the critter will either die horribly OR become an invasive species. Secondly, the microcosm that the writers try to create between Sluggo and Hoshi doesn’t even work! If Hoshi learns her place is on the ship, why give up on Sluggo?

I’ve got a hot plate in my quarters, if you know what I mean While we can give Hoshi credit for figuring out Reed’s pineapple love in “Silent Enemy” without him catching on, I’m not sure we really needed the awkward mess hall scene in which Reed thinks she’s coming on to him. These two are both so awkward and introverted that the scene just feels cringey and makes Hoshi look like she has no idea how to handle herself around men.

This isn’t Mardi Gras, Ensign Well, I suppose it’s almost progressive that T’Pol isn’t the only female crewmember that has to run around with her top off, but it’s progressive in the wrong damn direction. In “Shockwave, Part II,” when Hoshi has escaped confinement in her quarters, her shirt inexplicably comes off while she’s crawling around some ducts and it’s so male gaze-y that it’s pathetic.

And you were there, and you were there… Yes, we are going to blame Hoshi at least a little bit for everything being a damn dream in “Vanishing Point.” What could have been some good character development for the transporter phobe gets entirely undercut by it all being fake. You feel tricked by the end, and everyone treats Sato like a child who wants to sleep in mommy and daddy’s bed.

Please allow me to introduce myself This one still strikes me as utterly bizarre. Apparently it has taken at least thirteen weeks for Hoshi to finally introduce herself to the MACOs in “The Xindi.” We see her join their table in the mess hall and meet them for the first time, but when we realize the timeline of the plot so far, it’s just strange that they don’t know each other already. It’s a very small ship!

C’mon, buddy system! I’ll also always nitpick that it’s fully illogical for Hoshi to go live with Tarquin by herself in “Exile.” Archer pays some lip service to wanting to send her down there with a MACO chaperone, but Hoshi counter-intuitively talks him out of it. Girl, you’re in the Delphic Expanse. Even if this guy is trustworthy (he’s not), you never go anywhere alone and hope for the best.

The Imitation Game I don’t know why this one still sticks with me. Maybe it’s because it’s so damn clear how few characters there are on this show that Hoshi has to sort of absorb other roles to make up for it. But I’m pissed on her behalf that they decided being a linguist makes her a good codebreaker when she is kidnapped by Xindi in “The Council.” That’s no longer language. That’s math.

Read ‘em and weep We learn in “Observer Effect” that Sato was discharged from Starfleet for breaking her company commander’s arm after a dispute about a weekend poker game she organized for new recruits. There is a lot to unpack there that makes Hoshi look pretty bad, but the worst of it is she’s finally getting literally any backstory with so little show left! Where was this Hoshi before?

When god closes a door, lockpick that son’bitch With the caveat that she was hallucinating all over the place because of the silicon virus in “Observer Effect,” Sato still endangers the whole rest of the crew when she breaks out of the decon chamber and escapes while super contagious. Maybe I was too quick to judge her code-breaking skills a moment ago. This girl is a menace!

Keep the sensors locked on the array. The moment it powers up… I know Chris put this on his Best Moments list but I don’t have enough Worst Moments to fill the quota. And frankly, I don’t agree that disobeying orders to destroy the verteron array in “Terra Prime” is a good thing. Hoshi has NO IDEA Trip has scooted its target before it goes off. And it does go off—something she has promised to prevent! Also, it means Archer survived, so points off.

—

If those moments were a little forced, imagine how tough it’s going to be to pick moments for Travis Mayweather next week. In fact, don’t imagine—follow along here for more big blog action. If you’re not already doing so, also make sure you’re keeping up with our watchalong of Discovery over on SoundCloud or wherever you podcast, send a hail us on Facebook or (tada!) Bluesky, and keep that language-learning streak going!

[star-trekster]

Anightinsickbay.mp4

[giffingthingsss]

[tribblesoup]

This is one of my favorite things on the internet.

[scientific-tricorder]

I know that some I've used for Threshold Day viewing include:

TOS: "Spock's Brain" (The Spock's Brain is Stolen Episode)

TAS: Just about anything, but I think especially "The Magicks of Megas-Tu" (The Salem Witch Trials and Magic Episode)

TNG: "Genesis" (The Devolution Episode)

ENT: "A Night in Sickbay" (The Dog Funeral Sex Dream Episode)

I feel like there's more as well, but that's what occurs to me at the moment.

All the other Star Trek series fandoms: We don’t like to talk about our One Weird Episode. If you mention it you will promptly told to shush and never speak of it again. Besides the occasional meme, we really just like to ignore that episode.

The Voyager Fandom: HEY EVERYBODY HAVE YOU HEARD ABOUT OUR LIZARD SEX EPISODE?????????? IT’S CONSIDERED THE WORST EPISODE OF ANY STAR TREK EVER AND ITS ALL OURS!!!!!! WE ARE PROUD TO HAVE IT!!!! IT WON AN EMMY!!!! OUR MAIN FANDOM HOLIDAY IS IN CELEBRATION OF THE LIZARD SEX EPISODE!!!!!! ITS THE FIRST EPISODE WE SHOW OUR FRIENDS WHILE TRYING TO GET THEM TO WATCH OUR SHOW!!!!!!! LOOK AT ALL OF OUR LIZARD SEX MEMES!!!!!

[odo-apologist]

What's also very funny about Threshold is that it is an episode which Brannon Braga has come to regard as a mistake and yet he went on to produce Extinction for ENT, which is kinda like Threshold concerning the crew becoming lizard people but without an Emmy for makeup and with even more regret from Braga

[lostyesterday]

I’ve seen lots of people complain about Seven/Chakotay and Kira/Odo not having any chemistry despite the writers trying to convince us they do, and it’s not as if I don’t understand where people are coming from in those cases, but neither of them is remotely as bad as Archer/T’Pol in my opinion. These two characters have the least convincing chemistry I have ever seen, and I will literally never believe they are attracted to each other, I’m sorry.

[soulerflaire]

Normally, I find it pretty easy to tell when an episode is gonna be "all just a dream". The characters do wildly uncharacteristic things, or say stuff that would radically alter their relationships with other characters, or things just get too absurd.

So when I say that I was 100% confident that this episode was going to be "all just a dream", I want it to be clear how buck wild it is that everything that happened in the episode wasn't a dream and that it is canon and part of the series forever.

[sshbpodcast]

Character Spotlight: Jonathan Archer

By Ames

Just when you thought we were done with Enterprise, our character spotlight series returns somehow! And if our full watch of the series assured us of anything, it’s that Cap’n Jonathan Archer is an angry, ill-prepared, conceited, racist, little nepobaby. Now sometimes, that’s perfectly in character for a prequel series about confronting our first stumbling blocks into space exploration. And sometimes, it’s agonizing to watch how humans as a species were represented by a man who made the worst choices you could make, and then patted himself on the back about it.

But I’m getting ahead of myself! Your hosts here at A Star to Steer Her By can always find something that Archer did to gripe about. And even a couple moments we didn’t hate his guts. Check them all out below and listen to our diatribe on this week’s podcast (jump in time to 1:00:09) as we peruse the actions of our first Enterprise captain. Now back in the pool for some water polo!

[Images © CBS/Paramount]

Best moments

Torturing prisoners = bad! I laugh because this sentiment will be entirely contradicted when we get to season three, but Archer starts out in “Fortunate Son” advocating NOT capturing and torturing pirates. The bar was low for us back in season one, and Archer meets it when he tells Mayweather that humans should display proper ethics in situations like the Fortunate’s dealings with Nausicaans.

T’Pol’s had enough of your help. Stay away from her. After spending much of season one racially profiling every Vulcan he meets (more on that in the next segment), Archer meets a Vulcan that everyone is right to hate in “Fusion.” While he is way too quick to trust the V’tosh ka’tur just because they like having emotions, Archer deserves some credit for believing T’Pol about her assault and letting Tolaris have it, that asshole!

Now is not the time for British gumption Archer may be the extrovert that makes us introverts uncomfortable, but it actually pays off in “Minefield”! Reed is pinned in the leg, and the captain is able to deal with both disarming the Romulan mine AND keeping his security chief alive when he is fully prepared to martyr himself at the drop of a hat. Their smalltalk keeps the tension in check and Reed mostly lucid.

How much is that doggy in the incubator? One sympathetic trait that the writers were wise to build into the Archer character is his love for Porthos. It’s easy to connect with a dog person, so Archer is at his most humanized during “A Night in Sickbay” when all he wants is to be with Porthos during the beagle’s time of need. The rest of that episode, not so much, but how much he cares for his puppy is lovely.

What if we trap them in an elevator together? Because Enterprise is a prequel, we know very well that Humans, Andorian, and Vulcans (and Tellarites eventually) will get along well enough to found the Federation. But right now, it’s baby steps and Archer’s goal is to just get them in a room together without actively killing each other in “Cease Fire.” So major kudos for getting Shran and Soval into a conference room.

The House of Duras is without honor We gave Worf credit back when he did a similar thing back in “Reunion,” so we’ll have to count this one for Archer as well, and that’s killing the hell out of Duras. That whole Klingon line is just no good, so when Archer blows his ship to high hell in “The Expanse,” we are very pleased. The only good Duras is a Duras blown to high hell.

I’m not leaving you In a spur-of-the-moment decision, Archer saves T’Pol from a wave of some anomaly or other in “Twilight,” even after she told him to save himself (or perhaps because he’s just so used to doing the opposite of everything she says). We learn non-chronologically that the anomaly that hits him because of this causes his anterograde amnesia, but it was nice of him to help his XO.

You wanted to kill someone, kill me Not only does it take responsibility and honor to sacrifice himself when the Triannons force them to adhere to their dumb justice system in “Chosen Ream,” but it turns out to be a ruse when Archer tricks them into thinking the transporter is a disintegration device that kills people. Fools, it’s only that some of the time! We commend Archer for his really clever thinking!

We’re talking about a one-way trip Speaking of Archer taking responsibility when the going gets tough, he is fully prepared to kamikaze the Xindi weapon in “Azati Prime,” even after both Mayweather and Trip have offered to do it (I guess Reed was out of earshot or he’d’ve begged to do it too). We’ll talk in a second about how bad of an idea this was, but hell, he was ready to get blown up to save humanity.

If that’s what it takes to be advanced, I don’t want any part of it You’ve got to love when a captain calls out another race for absolutely bullshit behavior, and Archer is fully righteous when he tears the Organians a new asshole for treating other species like test subjects in “Observer Effect.” Plus, yet again he is ready to sacrifice himself for crewmates when he exposes himself to the contagion to try to save Trip.

Loop-de-loop hole Archer is again attempting diplomacy in getting the Andorians and Tellarites in a room together without killing each other (this sounds familiar), and volunteers himself to duel in the Ushaan in “United.” It all conveniently works out because for some reason this fight to the death has enough loopholes in it to scare off a trypophobe. But it’s nice of Archer not to kill Shran.

The final frontier begins in this hall. Let’s explore it together. Finally, the two-parter “Demons” and “Terra Prime” really succeeds at reminding us that we all need to overcome our prejudices and malice if we want to make our ways in the universe. Archer sums the whole thing up after defeating Paxton and his Terra Prime cult members. His speech at the end of “Terra Prime” really should have been what the whole show finale’d on.

—

Worst moments

What’s all that mean anyway? You know I have to include Archer’s constant xenophobia against Vulcans because it really colored my perception of the captain, and “The Andorian Incident” is emblematic of that. Out of sheer racism, he forces T’Pol to bring him to P’Jem after she advises against it, makes a terrible impression on the monk who’s only doing his job, and then wrecks up the chapel room to expose an Andorian. Maybe ask first, dingbat.

Correction, sir, that’s blown out We also just had to include this early example of just awful acting out of Scott Bakula. Though the bay is being rapidly decompressed, Archer somehow drapes himself over a railing and dangles over the side during his fight with Silik in “Cold Front.” Was he in any danger? Did he expel all the air from his lungs? Were there any consequences to being in vacuum? Who knows.

Someday my people are going to come up with some sort of a doctrine This one will surely come up again in our Phlox character spotlight, but it was Archer’s word to permit the genocide by inaction in “Dear Doctor.” Not only is it morally reprehensible to wash their hands of the fate of the Valakians, but the science that Phlox easily convinces Archer is emphatically wrong. And the Prime Directive reference? The turd on top of this shit sundae.

What else should I be? All apologies. Though we commended Jonathan for his devotion to Porthos in “A Night in Sickbay,” for the rest of the episode he’s an absolute pissant. All the Kreetassans want is for him to apologize for defiling their sacred tree with Porthos’s piss. You’d think he’d not have brought his filthy dog to their sacred site in the first place, but to act like such a prick about it is even more pathetic.

On my world, when someone asks for asylum it has to be given serious consideration We’ve struggled with the messaging of “Cogenitor” from the get go, and apparently so has Archer. Charles requests asylum from the Starfleet crew and Archer forces them off the ship instead, back into the hands of their oppressive culture. And then Archer screams (screams!) at Trip about violating the non-existent Prime Directive. And he’s supposed to be right?

Torturing prisoners = good? Most of Archer’s bad moments are rightly coming from season 3, an absolutely drek collection of episodes, and it immediately goes south in “Anomaly.” This is Archer’s first foray into torturing people, as he throws Orgoth, the Osaarian prisoner, into an airlock and threatens to space him just to get information. And the cap’n’s actions will only get worse from here…

These are Trip’s quarters It’s a controversial choice for Archer to allow the simbiot to be created in the first place in “Similitude” just to harvest his organs. But that’s mostly a Phlox fault. What we’re harping on here is how terribly Archer treats Sim. Again, he screams at him (there’s a lot of Bakula screaming at Connor Trinneer in this show) for staying in Trip’s quarters and for, I dunno, wanting to live.

How selective could this memory wipe be? A lot of interesting concepts come out of “Stratagem,” but then if you think about it for more than a second, you realize what Archer does to Degra is super messed up. Normally, when someone tampers with someone else’s mind to exploit them for information, it’s the villain of the show doing it. So it’s clever as a scheme, but Archer, my dude, you are the bad guy of this episode.

Let’s torture the canary we took out of this coalmine One of the absolute worst things we see Archer do comes in “Harbinger” (you’re going to see a lot of “Harbinger” in this spotlights) when he tortures that Sphere Builder before he even knows who they are. He jumps to the wildest conclusion that this guy might have information, with absolutely no proof at first, and he tortures the guy. And this is the hero of the show, people!

If that’s a problem for history, then history will have to suffer We may have just credited Archer with doing the honorable thing and wanting to sacrifice himself in “Azati Prime,” but it’s also absolutely idiotic. For once, Archer refuses to listen to Daniels who warns him that if Jon destroys the Xindi weapon, they will only build another one. Please, Archer, do the peaceful, diplomatic thing. No? Why choose now to be so unreasonable?

Out of my way, I’m a motorist! We rag on “Damage” a lot because of the hypocrisy of it all. Archer finally thinks he’s crossing a line when he steals the warp coil from the Illyrians’ ship, despite all the lines he’s been crossing all season. And what a shitty thing to do to these people! He strands them in the expanse and we never hear about them again. Dude, at least send them an Uber.

Even though you don’t wish to own me, I still wish to please you Because I feel like shitting on “Bound” at least a little bit, let’s shit on how Archer so easily gets tricked by the Orions all episode long. You can blame the pheromones for tampering with his senses, but dude, you couldn’t have put some female MACOs in charge once you knew the ruse? You didn’t smell something was up when space pirates wanted to do business? And god, that scene when he talks about sexual slavery is just so uncomfortable. Vomit.

—

Sorry, Cap’n, but someone needed to put you in your place. Will our other Enterprise character spotlights be a little more positive? Keep track by following along here on the blog! You should also keep up with our watchthrough of Discovery over on the podcast on SoundCloud (or wherever you listen to podcasts), exchange water polo gossip with us over on Facebook, and maybe scream at Trip a little less. Just a little.

[giffingthingsss]

Jonathan Archer vs. the Perpetually Offended Aliens

[cosmicvaca]

Had to try this with my Trill/batazoid oc

I CAN FINALLY POST THIS !!!!!

Sooooo I've made a Star trek picrew for you OC and avatar needs :)

I've made it so that you can play with multiple species (in total, human, klingon, cardassian, bajoran, ferengi, andorian, aenar, denobulan, vulcan, romulan, trill, orion and android), mix and match things ! This is a beta release, so to speak, so it's not perfect, but I'm gonna add stuff to it in the future (especially backgrounds and outfits, I find it really lacking there but I have been working on this for SO LONG I couldn't add anything more rn)

Yeah like I just said this took me a whole month and a half to do, working on it on nearly all of my free time. And trust me, it was a chore. You don't know true pain if you haven't spent whole afternoons just exporting PNGs. So yeah I really hope people use this lol, don't hesitate to share !

You can use as an icon, edit and change the background if you want, just tag me where you use it :D (or just to show me what you made. I'd love to see your characters !)

Also feel free to suggest stuff to improve or add, I already have a few things planned for the next version but I'm open to ideas. Also tell me if anything doesn't work properly. Some parts can look jenky at first but most of them are movable so you should be able to make everything work. (fyi some parts are obviously not meant to work together, like half the haircuts and klingon ridges)

Have fun !

[ashkabbom]

Thoughts of the Day - Mouthwashing

A/n: I don't know what this is 🧍🏽. I started with one idea and ended up with a completely different one. Lock your doors and windows before you go to sleep, or Jimmy will appear in your room at night.

Versión en español en Wattpad: Libro de One Shots - Mouthwashing (Cuenta: ashkabbom)

Versão em português no wattpad: Livro de One Shots - Mouthwashing (Conta: ashkabbom)

•Post-Crash!Captain Curly x Reader (Not the focus, but it's still here)

Synopsis/Summary: Situations from every week, questions from every day

Notes: I apologize in advance for the phrase Swansea says😭

Why had he done this? He condemned you all to immediate hell.

That day, the emergency screen, the red lights everywhere and the sound, all of that could only be a bad dream, right? It had to be a nightmare.

What had you done to deserve this? Years of work thrown away with a single action and you don't even know why it was all thrown down the drain without any prior warning.

You loved him like never before, your days with him meant much more than all the work you had in this place.

The layoff was already a problem, but this was beyond what you could handle in the future. If there even was a future.

The tears fell and you felt yourself slowly going crazy. The captain was out of the game now and in his absence they put Jimmy as an anesthetic for the immense despair in everyone on that ship, but it didn't work at all, it was the calm before the storm.

Anya looked as uncomfortable about it as anyone on that ship. Having Jimmy as captain was stressful, to say the least.

You and the others came to a silent agreement about the now captain. He was as cowardly as anyone there, but he was still second in command.

"What do we do next?" You ask, taking a deep breath, wiping your tears on the sleeve of your uniform.

"I don't know, but his painkillers will run out at some point." Anya also looked apprehensively at the captain's situation.

At the same time that you felt anger and disappointment, you also felt worry and uncertainty, you still loved him. The story made sense to some extent, but it didn't match the captain you knew.

"You.. You know how I feel about this, I think it's the right thing to do, Anya." It was weird to think about doing that with someone you like, you don't even know if you can imagine yourself doing such a thing.

She didn't have to answer, but as much as neither of you wanted to, you silently agreed that it was the quickest and least cruel option towards him.

"What a funeral atmosphere." Daisuke's voice coming from the door startles you both, making you turn to look at him.

"Well, this is almost a funeral- Ouch!" You can't even finish before Anya pinches your neck. "Okay okay, I get it."

"And how is it going? How is he?" He approaches the stretcher and looks at the captain, saying good morning and sighing soon after. "At least he's alive..."

"The painkillers help to control the pain and he can... Sleep, I think, or at least not writhe in pain and discomfort." Anya says to Daisuke, knowing that it was impossible for Curly to have any slight improvement in the situation they were in.

"But still no sign of being able to speak, and it would take a miracle for him to actually be able to say something." You say sincerely.

Daisuke nods in acknowledgement, he wondered if keeping the captain in this state for months was right. When they return to Earth, Curly could receive specialized treatment for his situation in a Hospital, right?

"The Totally Spies girls better get back into their disguises, or the Mojo Jojo will find you out." Swansea warns, leaning against the door.

If everyone was in sickbay, Jimmy would probably be hunting one of them around the ship. It's only a matter of time before Jimmy shows up and starts putting stress and pressure on everyone, so Swansea was right.

You pat Daisuke on the shoulder and then look at Anya. "You heard Jerry, girls, back to disguises." Anya lets out a small laugh, a small quiet moment before dealing with the reality of things.

"I'll give the painkiller to the captain this time, I'll see you guys later" You say waving to your colleagues before grabbing the bottle of painkiller.

Daisuke and Anya walk to the door, chatting a bit before agreeing on where each of them would go. "But isn't the Mojo Jojo from The Powerpuff Girls?" Is the last thing you hear Daisuke say before the door closes.

It's just you and him now. No matter how much you tried to ignore it, but you could feel Curly's gaze burning you alive, so many things wanted to be understood with just a single look from his eyes.

If he could say something, what would he say? What would be his version of what happened? Why would he have crashed the ship? Would he want us to keep giving him the painkillers or just end his suffering?

Looking at him, burned, unable to speak or move properly, lying on that stretcher, which was now his bed and the infirmary his room. He just stared, unable to close his eyes at any moment, you didn't know what was going on in his head, it was impossible to guess any feelings he had by looking at his face.

"Yeah, Captain... You should have thought better about your actions before you did this to us..." You say with the painkiller in hand. The urge to cry formed again and made you feel suffocated. "You have to take responsibility somehow at least..."

[lostyesterday]

I made the following graph because I was interested in which words show up most often in the titles of Star Trek episodes and movies:

I included episode titles from all twelve canon TV shows and all thirteen movies. I only counted nouns for the graph to avoid including boring words like “the” or “and”. I also counted plurals of a word as the same word (“stars” counts as “star”) and compound words where the singular word still carried the same meaning (“starship” counts as “star”). A complete list of episode/movie titles for each word listed in the graph is below the cut.

Time:

Amok Time (TOS)

The Time Trap (TAS)

The Naked Time (TNG)

Time Squared (TNG)

A Matter of Time (TNG)

Time’s Arrow (TNG)

Timescape (TNG)

Hard Time (DS9)

Children of Time (DS9)

A Time to Stand (DS9)

Time’s Orphan (DS9)

Time and Again (VOY)

Once Upon a Time (VOY)

Timeless (VOY)

Time Amok (PRO)

The Time Devouring Scavengers (PRO)

Star

Beyond the Furthest Star (TAS)

Starship Mine (TNG)

Starship Down (DS9)

Far Beyond the Stars (DS9)

North Star (ENT)

Battle at the Binary Stars (DIS)

The Brightest Star (Short Treks)

The Girl Who Made the Stars (Short Treks)

The Star Gazer (PIC)

The Stars at Night (Lower Decks)

Starstruck (PRO)

A Moral Star (PRO)

Man

The Man Trap (TOS)

Where No Man Has Gone Before (TOS)

The Schizoid Man (TNG)

The Measure of a Man (TNG)

Manhunt (TNG)

Tin Man (TNG)

Man of the People (TNG)

A Man Alone (DS9)

Our Man Bashir (DS9)

Inside Man (VOY)

Renaissance Man (VOY)

Magic to Make the Sanest Man Go Mad (DIS)

Home

The Voyage Home (movie)

Home Soil (TNG)

Homeward (TNG)

Move Along Home (DS9)

The Homecoming (DS9)

Homefront (DS9)

Homestead (VOY)

Home (ENT)

Far From Home (DIS)

Coming Home (DIS)

Child

Friday’s Child (TOS)

And the Children Shall Lead (TOS)

Plato’s Stepchildren (TOS)

The Child (TNG)

Galaxy’s Child (TNG)

Children of Time (DS9)

Child’s Play (VOY)

Children of the Comet (SNW)

Children of Mars (Short Treks)

Life

Half a Life (TNG)

The Quality of Life (TNG)

Life Support (DS9)

Lifesigns (VOY)

Real Life (VOY)

Life Line (VOY)

Life, Itself (DIS)

Eye

Wink of an Eye (TOS)

The Eye of the Beholder (TAS)

The Mind’s Eye (TNG)

Eye of the Beholder (TNG)

Eye of the Needle (VOY)

Blink of an Eye (VOY)

Kayshon, His Eyes Open (Lower Decks)

Light

The Lights of Zetar (TOS)

The Inner Light (TNG)

The Darkness and the Light (DS9)

By Inferno’s Light (DS9)

In the Pale Moonlight (DS9)

Point of Light (DIS)

Light and Shadows (DIS)

War

A Private Little War (TOS)

The Dogs of War (DS9)

Warlord (VOY)

Warhead (VOY)

The War Within, the War Without (DIS)

Under the Cloak of War (SNW)

Night

Night Terrors (TNG)

Wrongs Darker than Death or Night (DS9)

Night (VOY)

Two Days and Two Nights (ENT)

A Night in Sickbay (ENT)

The Stars at Night (Lower Decks)

Game

The Gamesters of Triskelion (TOS)

The Game (TNG)

Armageddon Game (DS9)

The Killing Game (VOY)

Endgame (VOY)

The Least Dangerous Game (Lower Decks)

Shadow

Shadowplay (DS9)

In Purgatory’s Shadow (DS9)

Shadows and Symbols (DS9)

Shadows of P’Jem (ENT)

Light and Shadows (DIS)

Through the Valley of Shadows (DIS)

Mirror

Mirror Mirror (TOS)

Shattered Mirror (DS9)

In the Mirror, Darkly (ENT)

Mirrors (DIS)

The Mirror Universe (PRO)

Enemy

The Enemy Within (TOS)

The Enemy (TNG)

Face of the Enemy (TNG)

Silent Enemy (ENT)

Behind Enemy Lines (PRO)

Battle

Let that Be Your Last Battlefield (TOS)

The Battle (TNG)

Battle Lines (DS9)

Nor the Battle to the Strong (DS9)

Battle at the Binary Stars (DIS)

Mind

Dagger of the Mind (TOS)

The Mind’s Eye (TNG)

Frame of Mind (TNG)

Mining the Mind’s Mines (Lower Decks)

Mindwalk (PRO)

Blood

Bloodlines (TNG)

Blood Oath (DS9)

Ties of Blood and Water (DS9)

Blood Fever (VOY)

Flesh and Blood (VOY)

World

For the World is Hollow and I Have Touched the Sky (TOS)

The Best of Both Worlds (TNG)

Strange New World (ENT)

All the World’s a Stage (PRO)

Strange New Worlds (SNW)

Ship

Ship in a Bottle (TNG)

Starship Mine (TNG)

Starship Down (DS9)

The Ship (DS9)

One Little Ship (DS9)

Day

Day of the Dove (TOS)

Data’s Day (TNG)

Day of Honor (VOY)

Thirty Days (VOY)

Two Days and Two Nights (ENT)

[planetlongjourney]

I love Star Trek, but It’s one of those shows that to truly love it, you have to realise that it can be a BAD show

Don’t get me wrong it’s such a great show in terms of characters and storytelling MOST OF THE TIME!!! but if anybody comes to me and tells me that “Sub Rosa is a secret classic” or “a night in sickbay is so misunderstood” I will throw them so far that astronauts will get whiplash

Not only that but there are so many episodes where I just wish they could’ve done the characters more justice…example, not underusing women characters, especially in TNG, or not randomly switching up someone’s personality because you really want to tell a specific plot that would need them to act like that.

And the more you learn about the behind the scenes of Star Trek, the more I want to go back in time and rip the Star Trek franchise straight out of Gene Rodennberry’s hands and claim it as my own, because some of the stuff that happened off camera is actually horrible! (Go look up the things that he and so many people who worked on the show did)

I mean in the end Star Trek is a usually fun franchise! But it is a FLAWED franchise, and to love Star Trek is to question the choices of Star Trek or something

[soulerflaire]

Did Archer just threaten to pee on the sacred cultural trees? Because I think he just threatened to pee on the sacred cultural trees.

[sshbpodcast]

Character Spotlight: Phlox

By Ames

For many Enterprise fans, Phlox is a highlight. As a Denobulan, he shines through the show as someone with a different perspective than what the early-days astronauts that serve with him on the crew can often comprehend. He has different medical practices than the audience is accustomed to seeing on Star Trek and his menagerie of animals are a lot of fun. But for your A Star to Steer Her By hosts, Phlox might be just a rung above Archer as characters we just don’t have the taste for.

“Offputting” is the sentiment that came up most frequently regarding how we found the dear doctor. When he wasn’t hiding behind his unique culture to justify his obnoxiousness and tactlessness, he could be medically inept, ethically problematic, and downright offensive. This is going to another of those blogposts that swings wildly between the good and bad moments, perhaps like Rom’s did. So grab someone else’s celery, your tongue scraper, and your own toenail clippings to prepare to read on below and listen to this week’s diatribe on the podcast (shuffle over to timestamp 42:20). It’s time to feed the bat.

[Images © CBS/Paramount]

Best moments

Let’s just see where it goes Phlox, for better or for worse, serves as Trek’s most prominent representation of a person in a healthy polyamorous relationship. We learn in “Dear Doctor” that he has three wives, who each have two other husbands, and we have to applaud the eponymous dear doctor when he is fully honest and transparent about his romantic situation with a totally game Crewman Cutler.

Duck Season! Rabbit Season! A few episodes after Phlox condemns an alien race to death (more on that in the Worst Moments list), Phlox evidently changes his mind on interfering with the evolution of sentient species in “Rogue Planet.” And good thing too, because he’s able to create a masking agent that saves the wraiths from being brutally killed by those pesky hunters.

The one with the waggly tail Though there’s a lot to dislike about “A Night in Sickbay,” you’ve got to give some credit to Phlox for going above and beyond in helping to cure Porthos of the disease he picked up on the Kreetassans’ planet. The doctor doesn’t even understand why someone would care enough to invest energy in curing a simple animal, but he still pulls out all the stops in getting the puppy on his four feet.

Doctor-patient confidentiality I’ve got to admit that I totally expected Phlox to blab to the Vulcans onboard in “Stigma” that T’Pol has Pa’nar syndrome and was pleasantly surprised when he didn’t (it was that loose-tongued Yuris who totally spills the beans!). Granted, his attempt to weasel information out of the Vulcans failed laughably, but Phlox respects his patients’ privacy. This time, at least…

Antaran Lives Matter First off, there were better ways to have written an episode like “The Breach,” because Phlox doesn’t develop at all as a character during it. It turns out all his growth was done years ago and he just tells us about it. But hey, at least it’s nice to know that there are anti-racist Denobulans out there who can treat an Antaran like Hudak like a person despite societal racism!

I have no intention of turning into one of those cybernetic creatures Not only does Phlox effectively cure being assimilated into a Borg in “Regeneration” (someone inform Janeway!), but he also treats his infection with the seriousness it deserves. When Hoshi offers to sit with him, he warns her away in case he suddenly turns. He even concocts a neural toxin to kill him in case his cure doesn’t work, all to make sure the Borginess doesn’t spread.

It’s as if it never existed at all I’ve tried to consciously not to include mere instances that were literally Phlox doing his job as a physician, but this one’s worth mentioning. Maybe it’s just because I like the episode “Twilight,” but it’s also commendable to see Phlox dedicate himself so selflessly to curing Archer’s amnesia in such a very clever way, and it ends up resetting the timeline, so everyone wins!

I don’t just remember Trip’s childhood, I remember mine We’ll get to all the horrible things Phlox does in “Similitude” in a second, but for the moment, let’s just appreciate that the doctor’s rapport with Sim as he grew up was very sweet. It was probably aided by the fact that the mimetic simbiot grew up in three days, so parenting couldn’t have been very hard, but we got the impression that Phlox is indeed a proud papa.

Only the lonely (dum-dum-dum-dumdy-doo-wah) I’d give Phlox more credit for surviving the anomaly and getting the ship through safely while the crew was all comatose in “Doctor’s Orders” if it weren’t just a carbon copy of “One” with Phlox swapped for Seven of Nine. But if you forget that all other Star Trek exists and view this in a vacuum, it’s a good episode for Phlox! And he takes great care of Porthos!

This is between you and your doctor One more example of Phlox executing doctor-patient confidentiality, which should be a low bar for a physician to achieve and you’ll see why I’m bringing that up when you get to the Worst Moments list. But he definitely performs in accordance with medical ethics in “Damage” when T’Pol comes to him because of her trellium-d addiction and he helps her without blabbing!

No wonder you erase memories. Your behavior is appalling. Phlox tries his darnedest all through “Observer Effect” to save Trip and Hoshi (without the use of Lyssarrian desert larvae even!) when we all know it’s a fool’s errand. But his best moment here comes when he meets the Organians who are testing humanity and he absolutely cusses them out for the immoral bullshit they are engaging in! You get ‘em, doc!

I’m certain there are easier ways for you to recruit a new lab assistant Probably the best I’ve personally seen Phlox comes way toward the end of the series in “Affliction” and “Divergence.” When captured by Klingons and forced to create augment Klingons, Phlox initially stands his ground and would rather die than perfect augments. But then he works with Dr. Antaak to trick General K’Vagh into curing their admittedly idiotic augment virus instead!

—

Worst moments

Have you smelled Ensign Socorro after she exercises? One of the earliest impressions we get of Phlox gives him a creeper reputation, and that’s in “Fight or Flight” when he’s peeping on Crewmen Bennett and Haynem, assuming that they intend to mate, and pondering if they’d let him watch. So right after the pilot, he’s already on my bad side as some kind of tactless pervert. Oh and he also sniffs the crew. Red flag!

Grand Theft Celery This one’s become a sort of running gag on the podcast, but it’s also another example of Phlox rubbing us the wrong way. This man is a serial celery thief. For some obstreperous reason, he finds it socially acceptable to steal food off of other people’s plates, as we see in “The Andorian Incident.” If you’re thinking he just doesn’t know human customs yet, well, he does it again in “Shadows of P’Jem”!

Would you care to recite the Invocation of Renewal with us? This one’s my bias seeping through, but there’s something squicky about watching Phlox lead someone else’s culture in their invocation in “Cold Front.” It could all have been fixed with a word swap! The pilgrim leader doesn’t ask Phlox to “lead” their prayer; he says “recite with us.” And yet Phlox is presumptuous enough to make it all about him and start narrating on his own.

That’s not how it works... that’s not how any of this works! All these examples have been tenuous at best so far, but here’s undoubtedly the worst thing Phlox ever does. The ethics displayed in “Dear Doctor” are just atrocious, as Phlox refuses to help cure the Valakians of their disease even though he’s already solved it and even though the Prime Directive doesn’t even exist yet. But worse than genocide through inaction and then patting himself on the back for it is how Phlox justifies it to Archer with a definition of evolution that is an affront to science. I could never forgive Phlox after this episode for this wrongheadedness alone.

Eye of newt, wool of bat, and toenails of Phlox While we can still be gracious to Phlox for saving Porthos in “A Night in Sickbay,” for the entire rest of that episode he is utterly insufferable. Is he this obnoxious when he’s got a sapient patient in sickbay? Why can’t he loudly clip his toes or scrape his tongue or chase the bat around in his own quarters when Archer is trying to sleep? And then to suggest to the captain that he’s got a thing for T’Pol, as if she doesn’t get it from every angle already. Shut! Up! Phlox!

Has she offered to give you a rose petal bath? You know how we were giving Phlox credit for a normalized portrayal of polygamy in “Dear Doctor”? Well all that goes out the window in “Stigma” when his wife Feezal sets her sights on Trip. Phlox creepily tries to push Trip into banging his wife, as if being poly were now mandatory, even though it’s obvious that her constant sexual assault is making him uncomfortable.

Let’s all go to the lobby I get it, pally, that you don’t have movies on your home planet, but when you’re watching something for movie night, do you see anyone else talking incessantly through the flick? Read the room, jerkbag. We see in “Horizon” that he just can’t shut his damn mouth while watching a movie with a bunch of crewmates who are trying to enjoy the show and T’Pol has to shush him!

Sue this man for malpractice By season three, we’ve stopped using the decon chamber as a peepshow and need to get our jollies somewhere else, so Phlox decides to totally lie to Tucker, give him a placebo instead of the drugs he prescribed, and then force T’Pol to practice Vulcan neuropressure on Trip (which is NOT her job) in “The Xindi,” all so the fanboys can wank to Jolene Blalock with her top off some more. It’s offensive and juvenile and sexist and I blame Phlox for all of it.

Soylent green is Sim! While we were a little harsh on Janeway for how she treated Tuvix, his existence came about through an accident. But Phlox creating Sim in “Similitude” was on purpose and it’s morally all over the place. Not only does he opt to create sapient life just to harvest his organs, but he specifically omits telling Archer that creating simbiots with Lyssarrian larvae is banned AND that there might be a way to extend Sim’s lifespan, which is still lying, dude!

Her body, Phlox’s choice So we gave Phlox credit above for not outing T’Pol’s Pa’nar syndrome or trellium-d addiction at various points in the series, but here’s an example of him just bypassing doctor-patient confidentiality entirely. In “Chosen Realm,” he treats Indava’s request for an abortion with surprising respect, especially for the time, but then he goes and tattles to Archer right after! Not cool.

A mind is a terrible thing to lose While the whole deception gambit in “Stratagem” made the Archer bad list with much gusto, we’ve got to ream Phlox out a little bit for it too. Not only did he perform the memory wipe (those things are always questionable in their ethics!), but it was all his idea in the first place! These men are supposed to be the heroes of the show and they’re messing with Degra’s brain!

I can’t blame those men for the way they reacted The writers missed a trick in handling Phlox’s attack by racists in “Home.” The yokels who start the bar brawl are just plain xenophobes. And yet after the show’s 9/11 season, Phlox outright states that it’s okay to racially profile people because of the circumstances. Uh, no, it’s not. And what a terrible excuse to justify racism in the early 2000s. Unpuff your stupid face and tell us these people are assholes because they are.

—

What are we missing? So many people claim Phlox is their favorite Enterprise character, but we’re just not seeing it through the selfishness and terrible definition of evolution. But he’s also the last of the more major characters, so come back next week to watch us struggle to come up with things the sidelined main cast even did. You can also keep following along with our rewatch of Discovery over on SoundCloud or wherever you podcast, have a succulent Chinese meal with us over on Facebook or Bluesky, and unhand my celery, you miscreant!