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sansaorgana · 10 months ago

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Can you do a buck x reader where she’s a nurse and takes care of everyone at the 100 and they all think she’s just perfect and a mother figure while all the soldiers are away from that mother figure and one day she like snaps when having to deal with screaming soldiers and she goes up to one the higher power guys and like cussing them out for constant sending the men into a death trap and her having to pick up the pieces and buck has to hold her back while she’s just screaming at the other guy and everyone else is like 🧍

hello, thank you for your request! 🧡 I've just realised that none of my previous Readers in the stories with Buck were nurses lol 😷 most likely because I can't even imagine myself as a nurse and writing about all these things is enough to make me feel sick 🤣 but because of this, it was easy to write this story where the Reader is at her breaking point lol proceed with caution because there are ugly descriptions of blood, needles, death etc.

also this gif asdfghjkl I swear, in the story he has more compassion towards the Reader 🤣🤣🤣

my inbox is open for blurb/short fic requests for major cleven 🤗

You thought you could do it. When the war had started, you hadn’t thought twice as you had signed up to help. Real help. No paperwork or coffee making. You had wanted to become a nurse.

The physical aspect of your job was not that difficult. You knew what to do in most situations and you had learnt how to stop frowning at the physiological body functions. It was the emotional aspect of the job that no one had prepared you for.

Sometimes the boys would come back from the air battles with nothing but mere scratches. They would still come by just to spend time with you and let your gentle, skilled hands to patch them up as they were telling you stories.

Sometimes the same boys would not come back from their next mission and the stories they had told were all that was left of them. You would cherish them in your heart forever.

Sometimes the boys would come back burnt, with half of their faces blown out or their guts bleeding all over the floor. Their screams of pain would haunt you later at night. Those were your boys.

Perhaps that was why you were everyone's favourite nurse. You were getting attached to them so easily, treating everyone as a friend, offering them a loving hug when they needed it, listening to their stories, helping them to write letters to their mothers and girlfriends or children. You were a good spirit of the base and one of the planes was named after you. So far it still hadn’t gone down and everyone treated it as a sign that you were their guardian angel indeed.

You didn’t see yourself as a guardian angel. If you had to stay within the religious imagery examples, you’d rather describe yourself as a mater dolorosa – lady of sorrows watching her son’s suffering and not being able to help him.

Sometimes they would die in your arms. Still, it was better than to die in a burning plane. Better for them. Not for you.

Today was a day of a very difficult mission. Most of the planes hadn’t come back at all. And the ones who had, were full of men screaming in agony and pain. You were barely able to hold it all together when they were reaching their hands out for you as if your touch would heal them. But it wouldn’t. It couldn’t, no matter how much you wanted it.

“(Y/N), you should take a break…” Your friend put her hand on your shoulder. You were exhausted indeed. You were working for three hours straight without sitting down for one second and you were running around from one bed to another. “Go, rest,” she insisted but you shook your head and went back to work.

Only when you noticed that your hands were shaking so much that you weren’t able to inject a needle into a vein properly, you decided to take a break indeed. You didn’t want to cause even more damage by trying too hard.

But before leaving the sickbay you wanted to check on one of the young pilots. He was nineteen years old, it had been his first mission and you remembered how excited he had been about it. Now he was laying on one of the beds, barely breathing as his chest was burnt and lungs damaged.

You were approaching his bed and your heart sank to your chest at the sight of the doctor putting a white sheet over his face.

“Wh-what… What are you doing to Johnson, sir?” You asked.

“I’m sorry, (Y/N),” the doctor shook his head. “He’s just passed away.”

You just stood there with your lips slightly parted. Johnson was just another surname on the list of all these boys you would never forget about. But Johnson was special. He was the youngest you had known. He couldn’t stop talking about his mother and little sister, about his dog and his girlfriend waiting for him back in Alabama.

Your sadness overtook your whole body and then it developed into an anger so big that you felt as if you were about to explode and bring down the whole base.

“Son of a bitch…” You breathed out angrily as you stormed out of the sickbay without even taking your apron off. It was full of blood but you did not care.

You walked down the corridor with murder in your eyes, making everyone step out of the way. And you entered the Colonel’s office without knocking, so loudly and rapidly that all the men inside startled.

“Miss?” Colonel Harding asked as he was sitting behind his desk and showing some sort of a map to a few Majors.

One of them was Major Cleven. He hadn’t been up in the air on that day but he would be tomorrow. And was the one you had befriended the most. But even his presence couldn’t stop your rage at that moment.

“You can’t just keep sending them to die, Colonel!” You clenched your fists and approached the desk as the men watched with big eyes. “Look! Look, Colonel! Look!” You showed him your bloody hands and your apron. “Why is it me with their blood and guts all over me? While you’re just sitting here, planning…” You gave the map a very angry look. You wanted to tear it apart and you were shaking to stop yourself from doing so. “You’re sending them to death, all of them, they’re just boys! Johnson was nineteen years old! Do you even know who he was? Or was he just another number to you?!”

“(Y/N), calm down, let’s take you outside…” Buck approached you carefully but you moved away.

“No! I will not be silenced. I have things to say and I will say them!” You snapped at him and he froze. You laid your eyes back on the surprised Colonel again. “You just sit here and plan how to send them to death more efficiently. You men… Can’t you see how stupid this whole war is? How stupid every war is? And just because some brilliant engineers constructed planes, doesn’t mean they should be used to kill people!”

“Miss…” Colonel furrowed his brow, “Miss I-Don’t-Know-Your-Name, are you done?”

“You son of a bitch!” You banged your bloody fists on his desk and his stupid map got covered with blood. “You don’t even know my name. But I am the one to patch them up and hold their hand when they’re dying after you sent them to death. God damn you, Colonel Harding! You and all the Generals that you serve! God damn Hitler, God damn Churchill and God damn your fucking President Roosevelt!”

“(Y/N), please,” Buck’s strong hands pulled you away. “I’m sorry, Colonel. She’s all shook up,” he tried to explain your behaviour as you started sobbing when the anger had finally left your body. You hid your face in his uniform and allowed him to put his arm around you. “I’ll take her outside.”

“Yeah, you better do it, son,” Colonel nodded at him. Buck started to walk you out slowly and carefully as you heard Colonel’s voice while you were walking out of the door. “Poor girl… She needs a free weekend.”

Buck took you outside and watched you worryingly as you were catching your breath back and trying to calm yourself down, wiping the tears off of your face with the palms of your bloody hands.

“Here, let me,” he took out a handkerchief and wiped your face with it gently. “Gee, (Y/N), what was that?”

“I… I don’t know… I just can’t… I can’t do it anymore, Buck… That boy, Johnson, he was nineteen… Nineteen, for God’s sake,” you sniffed your tears back and looked into his eyes as your lips trembled. “He was telling me stories about his mum and little sister… His dog and his girlfriend… And now… And now he’s gone. Just like that. His lungs were burnt. Every breath was agony…” You tried to explain, still shaking.

“You really need a free weekend,” Buck pointed out and brought you closer to give you another hug.

It felt good to be in his arms. It was comforting. But you were scared to admit to yourself that you indeed liked him more than just a friend. Because if he would go down tomorrow or any other day, it would hurt even more.

“I can’t… I can’t leave my boys…” You took a step back to look at his face again. “And… And I can’t just take a free weekend. It would feel wrong. When you boys are up in the air, so brave and so heroic. All I can do is patch you up later. I can’t give up, no…”

“We all need a break sometimes. Hey,” Buck raised your chin up with his finger, “promise me that you’ll take a free weekend.”

“Aren’t you on a mission this weekend?” You asked.

“Yeah.”

“Then no way, Buck,” you shook your head. “I have to be here to patch you up,” you smiled through the tears.

“There are other nurses ‘round here,” he pointed out with a soft smile.

“I don’t want them to touch you,” you admitted suddenly as your cheeks heated up.

Why the hell had you said that…?

“They don’t know how to patch you up properly, I mean…” You tried to explain yourself quickly. “Only I know how to–”

But he didn’t let you finish. He leaned in very carefully and placed a gentle kiss upon your lips. You were stunned.

“I know what you mean, sweetheart,” he teased after finally breaking the kiss and caressing your cheek with his thumb. “I promise I won’t get a single scratch when you’re not around.”

MASTERLIST || BUCK MASTERLIST

#euryno-j47 #sansaorgana: Answered #*buck #lilysfiction #gale cleven x reader #austin butler x reader

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thegeminisage · 1 year ago

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QUICK update on the end of tng season 1 since i didn't have time last night. yesterday i watched "we'll always have paris" and then last night we also caught "conspiracy" and "the neutral zone."

we'll always have paris: NOT as bad as i feared. i did think picard making eyes at his ex for 20 minutes while her husband was dying in sickbay was kind of shitty of both of them but i REALLY liked the time distortion. it was soooo spooky and cool the elevator thing genuinely wigged me the fuck out

EVERY time picard tells data to stop talking i want to kill him <3

i'm surprised beverly didn't have a moment at the end where picard like offered her a kind word or something to help her with her Problems this episode but actually all she did was tell deanna she didn't want to talk about it and that was the end. ik it's doing her dirty but i actually respect her for that. none of anybody's business. i wish she'd stop crushing on picard though i feel like she could do better

anyway data's big moment at the end was very cool. i trust him so much he's my best friend

conspiracy: bugs bad. ohhh my god i can't believe none of you warned me

anyway it's weird because this should have been the season finale, given that it was brought up multiple times previously. or maybe only one time?

also love and light captain picard is the DUMBEST bitch on the face of this earth or galaxy or whatever. what part of KEEP IT A SECRET did he not understand...first he told deanna dnt hen will and then his ENTIRE bridge crew and then he went to confront the bad guys directly! yes it worked out for him but sir what the fucj

i did like that starfleet guys were basically getting hullened. killjoys i miss you. liked it less that there were BUGS.

i LOVED the riker fakeout but unfortunately i was hiding my eyes during that part because again, bugs

were walker and wesley's dad and picard like the three musketeers of tos...was this the implication...man that sucks. i would have actually been interested in that relationship if they had bothered to comment on it at all

VERY exciting to see a vulcan again!! so unfortunate that he was hullened.

anyway, for the buildup it got the actual resolution felt anticlimactic and very easily solved and it WASN'T EVEN. the season finale. whatever, tng

the neutral zone: WE'RE SO BACK. i like how this whole episode was an excuse for the romulans to be like lol we're back. that's an extremely bad and dumb premise but good for them

love that worf is anti-romulan. sorry about your parents king

those frozen bitches made me so mad. well just that one guy. i wanted picard to give him the business so bad. like when mike threw that fork in the bear. i don't even like picard and i would have been cheering him on. unfortunately he did not yell at the capitalist. even when the capitalist SNUCK ONTO THE BRIDGE.

guy with a southern accent did a good job. too good. don't like that

i felt the worst for the blonde woman bc she didn't ask for this but picard to will was like i need you to keep these people under control and he didn't and then he said to deanna i need to to keep these people undercontrol and then love and light she just hung out with this lady all episode. then when he was like (to security) gyet this man off the bridge they just stopped and stared at the romulans. what are we fucking doing on this ship

anyway even for all that data was right to revive them i can't believe so many people were incredulous that he wanted to do the compassionate thing and rescue a derelict vessel with human beings aboard. i thought starfleet was all about that shit?? jesus christ

anyway we are about to do "the child" and the summary looks bad so pray. pray.

#personal #star trek blogging #tng lb

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canmom · 1 year ago

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Animation Night 175: Short Film Night N+1 "Whoah, These Films Are Short"

Hello everyone! As you might gather from how spotty these streams have been lately, I have been running on kinda low energy for writing about animated films. But Animation Night will never die! Never!!!

Not even if I have to make an AI overlord to put all of humanity into bubbling, softly glowing science tubes, projecting each person's minds into a virtual studio so everyone can produce animation to fill my programme. [This is a hypothetical. No plans are afoot to bring about this eventuality.]

Tonight is one of those short film nights! I really like short films - there's a reason animation night started with package films like 'Robot Carnival'. And even though every collection is hit and miss, there's usually some gems.

Now, every so often we tune into the films of students at animation studios like CalArts and Gobelins. But students have been making films since long before there were video streaming sites. Some of those students will go on to be 'important in the animation industry' and stuff like that!

I recently came across a trove of CalArts films from the 80s through the 90s, thanks to rarefilmm, who maintains a great site for finding obscure movies. In his words:

Full list & link w/all the shorts I got from '80s CalArts students, some of these are on Youtube but not all of them, also included here is an unifinished version (doesn't have colors) of Wisconsin (1994), from the late Chris Moeller, considered lost media.

It's a fascinatingly old-school collection - some of the students go for a classic Disney kind of 'full animation' but you can also see the seeds of styles that would become prevalent in the 90s. The shorts are very short by the standards of modern student films, many of them less than a minute long - if anything underlines how tech has affected this scale of animation it's that.

youtube

And for modern contrast, Gobelins are releasing a current batch of student films! Alongside TRY HARD, in which anime girls try to get into anime gobelins, we have the Tekkonkinkreet-esque Kakomando in which parkour-loving kids vie with adults in a shanty town, and the above short in which a young alchemist is apprenticed to a vain and reckless older guy.

That's the student side, but what of web animation? Well, our favourite Australian animator couple Zoë Medcraft & Felix Colgrave made a great video about ants...

youtube

For that matter, I don't think I've shown Medcraft's previous animation, I'm A Witch, which drips with just as much style...

youtube

Schuschinus made a new PSYCHO ESSENCE, and I think this would be a great chance to visit the works of one of my favourite JDR-like autistic passion project series. Psycho Essence is a massive stream-of-consciousness space opera telling of how a group of hedonistic cyborg weirdos, the Maschinensäcke, resist the cosmic repressive hyperfascist force of 'F' (for Freitaglandmänner). Classic Kirby type stuff and incredibly sincere.

Honestly I think it might be a good time to watch the whole series! It's not the easiest thing to follow but it has some real sights and honestly, I just admire the whole energy of Schuschinus and his project so much.

vimeo

Meanwhile The Line, one of the most talented animation studios in the world, released this incredible Berserk-core short film Heavenly Vessel - the debut for director Venla Linna. In their words:

The uneasy stasis of a space-dwelling Monarchy is shaken by the arrival of a hypnotic, luminous dwarf planet. Caught between the authoritarian Duke and the impulsive Prince, all will come to light.

That means growing extra eyes and transitioning in a kind of space orgy, apparently. Absolutely gorgeous film, and I'm really excited to see the Line going in this more narrative direction, when so much of their other work carries the stain of being an ad lol.

We also have the second season of Worthikids' series Bigtop Burger to enjoy - the ending, in which we visit the planet of clowns and learn the significance of Old Deut to clown culture, is something else.

And as usual with short film nights, if you've seen anything cool and weird and animated on the internet of late, let me know and I'll slot it in! I'm always excited to see new animation!

Animation Night 175 will be going live in just a moment, and the films will start in maybe 20 minutes or so, so please make your way into the theatre at twitch.tv/canmom!

#animation night #short films #Youtube #Vimeo

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jiminthestreets-bonesinthesheets · 6 years ago

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Lost in Translation

Title: Lost in Translation

Fandom: Star Trek

Pairing: Mckirk

Rating: i have recently been advised that i should use the “citrus scale” so... Lemon (eventually)

Tags: minor character death, hurt, little bit of self destruction, stranded, possible smut down the line

Summary:

“Attention citizens. This is the crew of the Enterprise asking for your aid. On Stardate 2264.78 a shuttle manned by our captain and fourteen cadets was ambushed by an unknown source and chased out of sight of our ship and into open space. Those cadets as well as our captain, James Tiberius Kirk, are still missing. We are asking anyone with any information on their whereabouts, or regarding the attack, to please contact the Enterprise immediately. Our family would appreciate any assistance you can give.”

AO3 Link

Masterlist

Special Thanks: wanted to give a huge shout out to my girl Katie, AKA @goingknowherewastaken for being a huge inspiration for this fic as well as for being a huge help (especially when it comes to putting up with my frantic ramblings lol) you're awesome boo <3

A/N: So this is a work in progress but it’s basically finished and I’ve been making great headway with this recently, so this will be the first fic I’ve ever finished! Woohoo!! And I'm thinking that I’ll probably stick to a Sunday post schedule.

Also a little note for y’all to keep in mind while reading. I have tagged this fic “possible eventual smut” and that’s because right now I don’t have any planned buuuuut… I'm going to leave that option up to you guys! Between the readers here and AO3, if you're still with me by the end of this fic, leave a comment and let me know if you would be interested in an epilogue or end scene with smut. I’ll post a reminder at the end, but keep it in mind while reading.

And if anyone is interested in being tagged for future posts for this fic or any others I may post, please let me know and I’ll add you to the list! Thanks for reading <3

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter 5

Leonard slammed a fist on his desk and ran the other hand down his face, ending the comm. He couldn’t take much more of this. If someone didn’t find Jim soon he was going to have some kind of nervous break down, in fact, he was surprised he hadn’t had one already.

He decided to take himself up on that drink and left his office, not even giving a wave to anyone at the nurse’s station as he stalked past. He was on his way to his room when that old saying popped violently into his head, playing over and over again, “you don’t know what you got till it’s gone,” and hell if that weren’t true.

He’d known Jim Kirk since the day he sat next to him on the shuttle in Riverside, and he’d be the last to admit that there had been something between them right from the get go, but now he wished he had. He’d spent years trying to convince himself that what he felt for the kid wasn’t anything more then friendship, but after a few close calls he started to realize that maybe he couldn’t keep up that charade for much longer. Now Jim was missing, and every emotion that he had tried for all those years to push down and ignore, because ain’t no way the kid would have feelings for a grumpy old man like him, came quickly flooding back to him, pushing him into a sort of self destructive spiral.

It started slow. The first few nights Jim was missing he had spent them locked up in his room, trying to quell the frequent panic attacks that were suddenly plaguing him. Thoughts and visions filled his head of Jim dying in so many different ways. Jim floating in space, mangled in the shuttle crash, by infection, by dehydration or starvation… alone. The thoughts quickened his heart and tightened his chest, but no matter what he did he couldn’t vanquish the thought of Jim dying alone and without knowing what he should have told him years ago.

He had hoped that throwing himself fully into the rescue efforts for Jim and the cadets would maybe help deter these thoughts, but it only made them worse. Each day he would join Spock, Nyota, and a few other members of their crew in mapping out different routes and possible locations. Only, when Leonard started seeing for himself what kinds of planets Jim could have landed on, he was sure one of his panic attacks would turn into a heart attack. As he stood motionless and silent in the ready room off the bridge, looking at pictures and listening to Spock talk about different planets along the shuttles possible routes, “volcanic planet,” “made up of 87.65% water,” “host to a race of hostile inhabitants,” and more, Leonard could hardly contain his very high, and quickly rising, level of anxiety.

He managed to hide it fairly well during these meetings with Jim's rescue crew. Holding the emotions inside and saving his attacks for when he was in the privacy of his own room, alone, where he could drown his fears in a glass of bourbon. And that’s where it quickly went down hill, and fast. What started off as his usual one or two glasses a night, turned into three, then four, and eventually he found that even the entire bottle couldn’t stop the scenes from running through his mind.

Now, eighteen days into searching for Jim and again coming up empty handed, he found himself sitting on his couch, having already emptied bottle number one, and half way through bottle number two. And even that didn’t seem to be enough tonight.

~~~~~~~~~~~

“Lieutenants log, Stardate 2264.96. It has been eighteen days and still no sign of the captain or our missing cadets. I have sent out alerts in all areas of the quadrant in all native languages as well as several foreign ones, and still no one has reported seeing our missing shuttle or crew members...”

Nyota sighed, running a hand down her face. She had been on the bridge for she didn’t know how long, composing alerts and translating them into as many languages as she knew in an attempt to find Jim, or at the very least have someone come forward with some information that could lead them in the right direction. At this point they were grasping at straws and practically guessing when it came to searching planets. They might as well have closed their eyes and thrown a dart at a map. They had no idea where the shuttle had even gone, and no one in this entire quadrant seemed to know either.

She ended her comm and turned back to the screen where she was working on her latest translation. The bridge had been quiet all shift, everyone solely focused on finding their missing captain and crew.

She heard the rush of air as the turbo lift doors opened and closed, and heard the footsteps as they walked steadily across the bridge and stopped behind her. Though she didn’t turn around and instead continued her work.

A gentle hand touched her shoulder, an attempt to gain her attention. “Lieutenant,” the steady voice of their acting captain broke through the silence, “have you been here for both shifts?”

She turned to face Spock, realizing now that the bridge crew behind him were not the faces her usual shift crew. Quickly turning back to her screen and looking at the time she sighed and slumped back in her chair, “Yeah, I guess I have.”

Spock leaned over her slightly, looking at the screen, “Are you sending out another alert about the captain and the cadets?”

“Yes.”

“How many have you sent out?”

“Not including the thirteen native languages of this quadrant…” she thought for a moment, “this will be the eighth.”

“What language?”

“This one’s in Klingon.”

“May I?” She gestured to the screen and pushed her chair to the side so Spock could better view the message. He leaned fully forwards and began reading the text, “Attention Klingon citizens in the Omarian quadrant. This is the crew of the Enterprise asking for your help. On Stardate 2264.78 a shuttle manned by our captain and fourteen cadets was ambushed by an unknown source and chased out of sight of our ship. Those cadets as well as our captain, James Tiberius Kirk, are still missing. We are asking anyone with any information on their whereabouts, or regarding the attack, to please contact the Enterprise immediately. Our family would appreciate any assistance you can give.”

When he finished reading the passage, he backed away and turned to her, hands folded behind his back, “Do you think the Klingons would help us if they did hold information pertinent to the captain’s rescue?”

She shrugged, “It’s worth a shot at this point. So far everything else has been a bust.”

“You do have a point, Lieutenant.” She nodded in response and Spock watched as her head slowly began to fall into her chest. He placed his hand on her shoulder again, jolting her from her half asleep state, “Come, Lieutenant, you must rest. If any information is discovered I will contact you immediately.”

“No,” she said as she stood from the chair and Spock began gently guiding her towards the lift, “Spock, I have a few more languages I wanted to translate that message into. Just-”

“Nyota,” he stopped her with a hard look, “we will be no help to Jim, the missing cadets, or the rest of the crew if we are not well rested. Get some rest and we can continue the translations tomorrow.”

“Yeah,” she nodded, getting into the lift, “you're right. I’ll be here tomorrow morning to continue the translations.”

Spock gave a nod as the doors closed and she ordered the lift to her deck. In seconds the lift doors opened again and she slowly made way to her room. She was just about there when a familiar blonde head of hair came towards her from down the hall.

“Christine, what are you doing up so late?”

“Emergency surgery on one of the engineering crew,” she huffed a breath and rubbed her already red eyes, “I was actually already off shift and in bed when M’benga called me in to help.”

“Doesn’t doctor McCoy usually take the reigns on these kinds of things?” She quirked a brow and crossed her arms, “At the very least he's usually present during the surgery.”

“That’s just the thing,” she shrugged, “no ones been able to get him on comms. He left the sickbay around noon without telling anyone and no ones heard from him all day.”

“That’s odd.”

Christine rubbed a hand up her arm, shifting slightly closer to whisper to Nyota, “I'm worried about him, Ny,” she stepped back, not sure if she should disclose this next bit of information to a lieutenant, but she needed to tell someone and she didn’t think that someone should be Spock, considering his track record with Leonard, “I keep finding empty bottles of alcohol all over his office, he's leaving shift early, I don’t think he's done a surgery or even an exam on anyone in weeks, he won’t talk to anyone, spends most of his time in his office gaping at those maps. I know this all has to do with Jim going missing, and believe me we are all feeling the loss right now, but I'm afraid he's spiralling into something he won’t be able to pull himself out of and soon it might… it might get really bad if someone doesn’t pull him out.”

“You’re right,” she nodded, “what's his room number? I’ll check on him.”

Christine pulled up the padd in her hand and tapped away for a second before looking back to Nyota, “Room, 226.”

“Ok, I'm on my way,” she turned to head back to the lift before calling out, “I’ll comm you when I’ve got him.”

~~~~~~~~~~~

Nyota arrived at room 226, the room of her good friend Doctor Leonard McCoy. She knocked and waited, looking around the deserted hallway. It was long past midnight and the ship was eerily quite as she waited. When she heard no answer or rousing from the other side she knocked again, this time shouting, “Leonard, I know you’re in there, please let me in. I know this change in you is because of Jim but we can talk it out, just open the door. People are worried about you.”

Still no one answered and she would admit that she was starting to get worried too. She took another look around the halls, making sure she was still alone, before quickly hacking into the lock pad beside Len’s door and breaking in.

She entered to the room in complete darkness. She closed the door behind her and called out for Len but again there was no answer. She ordered the computer to turn the lights on and gasped when she was finally able to see. And what she was met with was a room full of countless empty bottles, a passed out doctor on the floor in front of the couch, and a bottle of half empty bourbon slowly leaking in his hand.

She ran over to him, turning him over and taking his face in her hands shaking him gently, “Leonard, wake up!”

When all she got in response was a groan and a still unconscious Leonard, she grabbed her comm and called Christine.

“Uhora!” Christine’s voice came through the comm, “Did you talk to Leonard?”

“Not exactly,” she grunted as she hauled the limp doctor off the floor and slung his arm over her shoulder, “meet me back in sickbay, find an empty room and prep a bed for me. I’ll be there in ten minutes.”

Before anything else could be said she ended the call and began dragging Leonard across the room and slowly down the hall. He was no help to her at all, only grunting in protest at the upright position and occasionally shuffling his feet and throwing them both off balance. And after what seemed like a life time they finally made it to the lift that would take them to Christine.

When she had first laid eyes on Leonard lying lifeless on the floor, her first thought was to call Spock. He was after all, their acting captain in Jim's stead, but when rethinking that strategy she decided against it. Spock and the doctor did not have the best past and she could only imagine the fight that would ensue when Spock found out that his chief medical officer had nearly drank himself into a coma. And with Jim being gone and tensions already on the rise, she was sure it would most likely end in a blood bath. Instead she decided it best to keep this incident quiet and leave Len in the trustworthy hands of nurse Chapel.

When the lift door opened Christine was already there waiting for them, eyes blowing wide upon seeing the limp state of Leonard hanging off uhora’s shoulder. She quickly ran inside the lift taking up Len’s other side and lead them all to the room she had prepped in the far back of the sick bay.

They landed Leonard on the bed and shaded the windows before closing the door, leaving the three alone.

“What happened?!” Christine instantly began scanning Leonard, checking all vitals while waiting for an explanation.

Uhora sighed, running a hand through her hair before answering, “Jim still missing has clearly put a strain on all of us in many different ways. I found him passed out in his room surrounded by empty bourbon bottles. I can’t even begin to guess how many bottles he drank before he passed out.”

Chapel ran a scanner over him, eyes on her padd. “He’s lucky you found him and not someone else.”

“Those were my thoughts exactly,” she nodded, “I thought about calling Spock for help but I thought maybe it would be best to keep this quiet.”

“You’re probably right.” She pulled the scanner away, placing it back in her pocket and put the padd on the bedside table before turning to Uhora, “He’ll be fine. Nothing I can’t fix with a few good hypos.”

Uhora smirked, crossing her arms and standing, “I’ll be back in the morning to talk to him when he’s more himself, so don’t let him leave this room until I get here.” Chapel nodded, “And you should get some sleep too, Christine. Don’t let this fool keep you up all night.”

“I will. Good night, Nyota.”

“Good night.”

~~~~~~~~~~~

For the first time in a long time Leonard woke up to a blinding headache. His eyes were so heavy and sore they didn’t even want to open, and sitting up was definitely not going to happen right now.

He ran a shaking hand down his face trying to remember what happened. He remembered making it to his room, then soon after receiving a comm from Spock informing him that the mission had yet again been a failure, and they would have to move on to another planet to search for Jim. Next thing, he had a bottle of bourbon in his hand and the rest is a haze.

Though he didn’t remember what happened he was sure he could put two and two together and figure it out, but how he had ended up in the sickbay would remain a mystery.

As he rifled through his jumbled thoughts for an answer the door opened, letting in a little too much light for his over sensitive eyes, and he shot a hand up to cover them.

“Oh, is that too bright for you?” A woman's voice hit his ears and he groaned in response, “I'm sorry, let me just open it a little more then. Or how about I do you one better. Computer, lights one hundred percent!”

As more light flooded the room Leonard hissed and rolled onto his side, which was a horrible idea as he felt his stomach lurch with the motion. Though he was far too stubborn to blow his stomach contents, and also not willing to stand to run to the bathroom, and forced himself to get over the sudden wave of nausea.

He let out one more groan as his stomach screamed at him, along with his liver, and he slit his eyes open just enough to see a familiar figure standing before him, arms crossed. “Uhora. What are you doing here? And why am I here?”

“You don’t remember?” She spat, walking closer to him, “I had to drag your dumb ass here after I found you passed out on your floor last night! I had to pull Chapel out of her room after she already worked a double and assisted on an emergency surgery because you were nowhere to be found, just so she could save your sorry hide from dying of alcohol poisoning!”

Yep, it was just as he had suspected. He clutched his stomach as another wave of nausea hit him and he looked up at her, “Look, Uhora, I-”

She raised a hand to stop him, “I don’t even want to hear your lame excuse Leonard. I had every intention of coming in here this morning and being as sympathetic as I could, but I couldn’t do it. I know your situation is slightly different then the rest of us, but you're not the only one who’s effected by Jim's absence!”

His brows furrowed and he pulled himself up in the bed to sit up slightly, “What do you mean my situation is different?”

She met his confused eyes with ones filled with pity. “Leonard, I know how you feel about Jim, I think everyone knows.”

“How I feel about him?”

She moved to sit on the edge of the bed facing him, all sternness replaced with the sympathy she spoke of before as she placed a hand on his shoulder, “The two of you were made for each other. I’ve seen the way you look at him, and how he looks at you, I’ve seen the way you act around each other and I know it’s more then merely friendship between you. But Leonard, you have got to pull yourself together. Jim is out there somewhere, along with fourteen other cadets who all need our help. No doubt when we find them they are going to need their chief medical officer in top condition to patch them up, and Jim is surely going to need his Bones just the same way.” He laid his head heavily back on the bed, letting it all sink in as she continued, “If you love him as much as I know you do, you'll sober up and get ready for when we do find him. And when he does get back, you should probably do something about that unspoken bond between the two of you. If this is anything to learn from, it’s that our lives are too dangerous and unpredictable to wait until it’s too late.”

She gave his arm a pat and left him alone to wallow in her words. He sighed, thinking over what she had said and decided that as always, Uhora was right… about everything.

He rolled to his side again and searched the room for his comm finding it on top of his shoes beside the bed. He grabbed it and rolled to his back, holding the comm in front of his face, before taking a deep breath and speaking as calmly as he could. “CMO’s log, stardate 2264.97. It’s… it’s day nineteen now in our search for the captain, and I won’t lie… I am struggling with his absence. After some much needed words of wisdom from Lieutenant Uhora I’ve come to realize some things, or rather finally come to fully accept them. All I’ve got to say is we better find you soon, Jim, and we better find you alive, cuz I’ve got a lot to say to you kid… a whole hell of a lot.”

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A/N: A very Leonard heavy chapter XD And I hope y’all are still enjoying this despite the horrible things I do to our boys, but I promise there are some good times ahead! As always let me know if you would like to be tagged, and thanks for reading <3 Tags: @goingknowherewastaken @bi-e-ne @weresilver-in-space @medicatemedrmccoy @reading-in-moonlight @resistance-is-futile81 @0dannyphantom0 @haveyouseenmymind @jimboy-mccoy @flaminglupine

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