#bg3 bhaalspawn

[theannoyingurge]

#the “agreement” with Bane is just Bhaal trying to make the best of his favorite kid insisting on a playdate with Gortash #but if they hang out with Bane and Gortash they also have to invite Myrkul and Kethric - for the politics #and Orin is fully just the nosy little sister ruining everyone else's day

I like to think Bhaal spends the entire timeline of BG3 just so incredibly confused and absolutely pissy about why he can't convince anyone - even his most special, Chosen, purest of Bhaalspawn- to murder for simple murder's sake.

Not that Bhaal doesn't appreciate murder more generally, but also how in the hells is he supposed to achieve global-genocide when everyone, even his own idiot kids, keeps using his precious murder as a mere tool, a means to their own ends, ya know?

He has to be a helicopter-parent to Durge about it:

Pre-tadpole Durge is so in-want of connection that they have to be under constant supervision by their specially-assigned butler to try and keep them on task. ("Stop bitching and let me live vicariously through you like all the other sport-parents!")

Then, even that isn't enough to stop them from connecting with Bane's lil shit "Gortash" and eventually starting in with the crown/Absolute plan ("Why in the hells are we using MY MURDER to help fucking Bane with his fucking tyranny?!")

Shortly after that Durge goes and gets merc'd and tadpoled by the other one... ("Have I taught my children nothing!? Orin really should know well by now that it's not 'murder' if they survive...")

... And then - clearly still prone to frivolous connection - they fucking gang up with a bunch of weirdos only to head home with other, new bad habits like "thinking for themselves" and "the apparent intent to entirely trash the plan they insisted on making with Gortash!" ("If you didn't want to play you shouldn't have had me sign you up for the team! Get your ass back in the game! You already got your Deathstalker uniform and everything! Now stop embarrassing me and maybe I'll even give you a slayer form.")

And, while Durge is being a rebellious lil Bhaalspawn, Bhaal also has to contend with:

His cultists, who are apparently killing mostly just for notoriety and/or safety amongst themselves. ("Quit playing around! I assure you I do not give a single fuck which one of you did it or how clean it was so long as the murder(s) did happen.")

Orin, who is playing at being an artist and completely absorbed in her exploration of murder and maiming as novel media to express her innumerable daddy issues ("Yes, I DO still like your lobotomized bloodkin more; at least they never wasted my time asking me to put all their shitty artwork up on the fridge.")

And Bane and Myrkul, who are presumably laughing their godly asses off and/or absolutely raging at Bhaal's inability to keep anyone at heel and how it's interfering with their mutual plan.

TL;DR: Life is hard when you're The God of Murder and neither your employees or your children properly respect the family business and your frenemies mock you for it.

[ripa-ria]

18+ ver.

[taygra5shaon]

how it should have happened...

Fuck cazaldor.💀

[snarfflarf]

Asking BG3 characters to pick you up pads

[metal-junk]

patch 7 has revived my bg3 brain rot

We’re so back

[rotten-lemonn]

The daily durge experience

[Click images for better quality!]

[moonselune]

She made them a sticker chart <3

(It’s got sticky bloody fingerprints on it)

Inspired by this and @herleaf ‘s comment x

[sisifroggy]

"Minthara? Are you encouraging everyone to go on power trip ascensions and be their worst selves?"

[gothicspork]

Medicine proficiency by default? Plague Doctor Dark Urge

[excaryder]

The Great(ly disapointed) Three

and their (useless) chosen

choices.

[panksage]

I’ve made my own version of this meme for all the durges out there celebrating Pride.

[kawareo]

Can't throw daddy's name around to get what you want all the time, Durge, put away the dramatic lighting

Am a big supporter of the 'Durge likes gnolls while Enver doesn't' headcanon

[taygra5shaon]

he taste like shit. 🩸

Fix-it AU

one comment made me think what would happen if Astarion brought my Durge to Cazaldor before the main story.

[metal-junk]

i like ur funny words, magic man

the idea that probably one of the most dangerous people in faerûn can become good after falling for a pathetic wizard is fucking hilarious to me. also i am an avid defender of gale and i want to make VERY CLEAR he isn’t supposed to be mansplaining bhaal to a bhaalspawn here, that’s just the only info i could actually write a significant amount of. i’m the one mansplaining here not gale i love gale

[cheekylittlepupp]

"Daddy said it's my turn to play inside the Bhaal temple!"

[erika-xero]

Orin the Red and Dark Urge for @dancing--lights! Heavily inspired by the amazing fic she wrote about this two. It was a pleasure to work on this illustration and I feel like it was a huge step out of my comfort zone. Love the BG3 character designs!