#but ive lived a lot longer than that

[omegasmileyface]

hahaha wait by far my most successful post is one abt doing stuff even though im bored and dont feel like it lmao

[asfdhgsdkjhgb]

god is swuarshing me beneath his thumb like i am an aphid or perhaps a clover mite. yeah. its slow and painful and im small. and also meek

[bunnyboy-juice]

honestly actually ik the "ride or die, you can have complex feelings about these people who harmed you but i HATE them, you're never wrong" type of friendship is super common n praised n i even can understand why that form of unconditional "love" is appealing, but i genuinely think its the most suffocating form of friendship ive ever experienced

[tamagotchikgs]

under readmore just bc i yapped a lot. it's whimsy me talkn about my bf but also w vent topics

getting scared thinking about the new year coming && how im getting so old n that's so scary then realizing . no this was actually the best year of my entire life. genuinely the Only good year ive ever had n thats because i Got My Boyfriend,,, . best person in tha whole world n we get 2 be eachothers,,,,, , , literally never imagined i was even capable of not only being loved but . loving someone back. feeling safe. ive known so many people but im always just felt so disconnected n alone. ever since i was a little kid it was impossible 2 me,, it just Always Has Been that way Thats Me thats what life is. i remember so vividly my parents being in a bad mood n coming 2 beat my ass n hiding in the closet up on the shelf n crushing my body as small as possible && just silently crying in terror as they screamed for me & my sister snitching on me n just realizing . no one cares about me. no one will Ever care . n over the years it just kept growing n growing n i got farther away from everything n became more of an inhuman monster 2 myself. my whole life has just been spent trying to get Through. it's just endlessly finding ways 2 distract myself,, silly video games for 16 hours straight n maladaptive daydream n go dizzy through every social experience im put in n everyday just ignore just let it Pass make it pass as quick as it can. and because of that i am Nothing. im an adult but i havent lived at all . but somehow that's ok 2 them. i don't have to know how to be a person i dont have to be one. i can talk to them for literal hours at a time . genuinely once . 18hrs. n it never gets old it never gets too much 4 my weak social battery,,,, it's jusr woag,,, i love this guy ,, i want to spend my life with them.. it all feels Real with them, i am a person. && we are togetha,,,. i dont want to isolate myself when they exist i Want to coexist, i want to share every experience. every part of life even the worst horrors feel worth it if i get that if i can even just listen 2 them talk about literally Anything everyday.,,, but even more than that my favourite thing in the world is getting 2 experience Their joy,,, their whimsy is the loveliest thing in the entire world n i just want 2 help bring the most i can 2 them,,, there is nothing in the world like it. n it want 2 give back n wrap them in the same safety they giv me ,,,, n by god ill Get There

[clowningcrows]

i fear i cannot mentally or emotionally handle being conscious much longer so im gonna take a melatonin and hope to god it works enough to make me pass out by 8:30 tbh

[badcountryofficial]

Thinks abt how the one person in my family I really relate to and respect settled in her marriage and later wakes up in a cold sweat

[finalgirlgretchen]

can i be honest this shit's so bad it's got me posting in r/bpd to feel for five seconds like other people GET it and i don't have to explain myself

[pepprs]

my depression is getting really really bad. like it’s been bad before but this is like… consistently really bad. like a long unending stretch for several weeks (and tbh months) now. to the point where no inoculation actually sticks (and im isolating myself from most of my inoculations anyway and feel unable to stop doing it even though i know it’s self destructive). im either helplessly unbearably miserable or numbing out on video games. i just don’t feel like it’s going to get better for me and i KNOW that is factually untrue but the feeling is louder than the knowledge and it’s just utterly immobilizing. ive been sinking in quicksand for 2 years.

[aaronymous999]

“The Barbie Movie is anti-men!”

No. The Barbie movie was just not made for u s. I honestly didn’t find the movie all that relatable outside of Allan but it’s still a GOOD movie! I wasn’t bored during it, it was funny, the music was good, it’s thematically a great movie. I was just not the target audience and that’s okay!! Seeing my 49 year old mother crying at the end of the movie was all I needed for the movie to make me happy, knowing that it touched my mother in a way that other movies don’t often do. And that’s okay :)

Barbie is a movie for anyone who has lived the female experience, especially older women like my own mother who grew up playing with Barbie. That doesn’t mean that you can’t relate to it just. As a human being, and I have lived a female experience briefly in my life but I didn’t relate to the movie. And that’s okay! If you relate to this movie fucking awesome!!! I’m so glad that there’s a movie that means a lot to you :) /gen

I’m just beefing with the other men on the internet who didn’t relate to it like me, yet they insist it’s a bad or “anti-men” movie when it’s clearly not???

Also shoutout to Allan he was literally made in a lab for the transgenders

Only critique? I wish it was more anti capitalist and anarchist but that was never really the point so I get it I will wallow in my corner praying for a progressive movie to arrive that fulfills my genderfuck anarchy goals. ( Idk maybe I’ll write something to fulfill my own dreams ❤️❤️ )

[todayisafridaynight]

GORGEOUS case bro I've never seen one with a continuous design like that and the embossment itself is so tasteful... always happy to see Mr. Dunkulous too <3

ALSO AYO YOU WATCHED MONDAY? How was it? Either way you're almost done with the Sabu Tsutsumi catalogue then... that's epic... I'm glad you liked Destiny too, it really is such a cute movie

Also I'm pretty sure PS4 preloads are open too BUT I'm still salty Xbox gets it a day early </3

Its one of the first designs i ran into while looking up wallet cases LMAO lucky me me thinks…. Its very pretty <3 mr dunkulous here to stay and keep me company lest i totally lose my mind <3<3

AND I DID i mentioned so durin stream yesterday ! i REALLY loved it, sabu keeps putting ttm in terrible situations and it makes me giddy seeing him panic 🥰 AND DESTINY WAS ADORABLE it was so cute….. really wholesome and what my soul needed….

OH PS4 PRELOADS OPEN ? Ill check it out when i get home later……. Why does xbox get it a day early thats rude me thinks…..

[coloursofaparadox]

.

[ebitenpura]

I keep thinking of how Watcher 2 goes uh, Cipher, there were no ghosts in the Dark Temple, which genuinely baffled both me and Eight, because she's completely sincere about it. Like you don't believe in ghosts but you believe in guys who shoot lightning and lift things with their minds...? What do you think made those people go insane then, a gas leak?

It's actually pretty typical within SWTOR for Imperials not to question superstitious matters or anything related to the Force either out of purposeful lack of knowledge, unwillingness to believe in it given how technologically advanced the Empire is and so they defer to science, or plain fear of the unknown and everything associated with the Force, but it's always a bit of an interesting shock seeing where particular officers lines lie about it. In Watcher 2's case, spirits do not exist. Regardless of the walking specter who made your personnel be in pain for no reason a few hours prior, cough.

Eight's the rare example of an Imperial who is immediately ready to accept and understand these outlying forces so he definitely believed there were spirits and other things at work, but more than that, I headcanon that Jadus sent him into the Dark Temple alone not just as a test of skill, but to test if their Force bond had manifested and would protect him from its malicious influences. In which case, it absolutely did and the agent emerges unscathed from the Temple of babbling soldiers. This also minorly awakens Eight's potential to see the world through Jadus' eyes, and so he has proof of the mysticism that other Imps refuse to accept-- another point that most likely makes investigative branches like the IRS looked down upon.

In other words, though he can't affect such things and is more Force-blind than Theron, Eight has become a medium of sorts because of his powerful connection to Jadus that leaves a mark on his being and has the willingness to quite literally open his mind to these forces. This makes him more attuned to odd situations that involve the Dark Side while retaining a self that is utterly mundane, so he acts as a sort of middle-man between the world of Sith and Imperials: the perfect union of the force and force-blind.

In the basic class story, it hasn't manifested fully but by the time of KOTFE/ET, it takes a dramatic spike in power because of Valkorion's influence and the extreme growth he and Jadus forced on each other in order to win that final battle. This is explained in-game as Valkorion leaving the ability to use the Force or amplifying it after the expacs, but Eight will never have the ability to use it, and I have no intention of ridding him of being normal despite all the ways he isn't. However, Eight and Jadus pull out all the stops to defeat the former Emperor and this nearly kills the former-- he collapses immediately after the two Sith have a psychic battle in his head and his vitals flatline, to which Lana and Theron panic. Then, Jadus himself finally appears in the flesh and whisks his Hand away. The two Alliance directors are unable to stop him, weak as they are by the battle, and no sign is found of either Eight or Jadus when the dust clears.

Eight is found weeks later in a hidden facility with no recollection of what happened prior, though he's purposefully vague about his "savior", and what happened between them. When Lana touches him, she feels a shock-- and realizes it's Eight, who she feels all the more keenly through the Force. He realizes this too, and those eyes that bore into her now look past her vestige into the depths of her soul. It feels like someone else is there. She cuts off the temporary connection immediately, the sense of wrongness remaining.

Eight still isn't force-sensitive. Nothing registers even when they test him.

And yet, no one can explain how he sees things he shouldn't, and how it's even possible for him to connect with others in this way. They leave it as another mystery surrounding the agent with no name.

[arolesbianism]

I am making a rough world map for the staliens home planet atm and it's been a lot of me going wee yay yippee :D until the mountains hit

[thehoneyedsoul]

I wish I had like...two or three days off from work...my two days off for Christmas Eve and Christmas didn't even really count because there was a lot of travelling and going here and there for me and it didn't feel like Christmas.

I'm just so tired and exhausted.

I didn't go to church today because when my alarms went off I just couldn't get myself out of bed. So I ended up sleeping for 10 hrs. That's the most sleep I've had in weeks. My face hurts and I'm congested though..

I just want a chance to do absolutely nothing and rest. I haven't been able to rest at all this month and won't for the foreseeable future given my schedule. My body is so exhausted and it hurts.

[autism-corner]

erm

[thetangibleghost]

I gotta confess it is so much more fun talking to Sal as if he is a separate person like he wants and not a member of the system. He's super creative like. Its just fun.