#but Bruce is sure they are

[nelkcats]

Banshee Star

When Ember asked him to be her duet at a concert, Danny didn't think it was a good idea, but the ghost insisted and said she was sure he had a very good voice. In the end the halfa accepted, and they passed off their ghostly appearance as some kind of exotic make-up. They were Phantom and Ember, "Ghost Stars".

Oddly enough, that was how Danny discovered that his voice was...strangely good for singing. The people around him seemed vaguely hypnotized before Ember snapped them out of said state with a solo on her guitar. People said it was an amazing experience.

Danny decided to accept more of the ghost invitations and in a very short time they had become very popular musicians - they even toured! but when they were passing through Gotham, they were stopped by the dark knight.

Batman was very concerned about the mind control he had noticed at several concerts and decided to confront the source. It was best to thwart their plans before they happened. His sons were not convinced about his deductions.

[fanaticalthings]

Bruce Wayne except he texts like an ominous boomer

wdym you can't tell if he's threatening them?

Based on this post by @mysterycitrus :)

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Bonus:

Happy birthday, Tim 🥰

[prlssprfctn]

Do you think when Damian first arrived at Gotham and to the Wayne Manor, he got an ick because Americans wear shoes indoors? Imagine him automatically starting to take off his shoes, searching for slippers, and realising that everyone just... walk around in their boots... without a care in the world?

Dick, jumping on the coach with his converses, straight from the street: So, watcha doing?

Damian, with his eye twitching: ...Why would you do that.

Damian, entering Tim's room to announce that the dinner is ready: Drake, Alfred had-

Tim, laying on his bed in his shoes peacefully:

Damian, through his gritted teeth: Unbecoming.

Tim: I JUST BREATHED

[ditzybat]

dick: you need your license revoked, your driving is absolutely heinous, jay

jason: that’s fair, i’m pretty sure my permit is expired

dick: i’m almost scared to ask… permit?

jason: not much time to learn how to drive in between dying and being resurrected

dick: oh my god

jason, literally seconds away from hitting bruce with his car: you’re looking at a man with exactly one shitty walmart parking lot driving lesson under his belt

[psychokatrixxxy]

Love when the Justice League thinks Batman is a cryptid. This believe is only further enhanced by the face his sidekick, Robin, is clearly a shapeshifter, what with changing their height, hair style, skin tone, and even gender.

Batman clearly thinks that by having Robin look different every couple of years, it will show that they aren't cryptids like it would if Robin didn't age.

But the Justice League is too smart for that. They figured it out! But they are good friends (colleagues) and won't spill Batman's secret, but they will drop hints to him that they know, to show that they are smarter than he gives them credit for (they aren't.)

-

When the batkids learn that the league thinks this, they start periodically going to the Watchtower with Bruce, taking turns dressed up as Robin.

The League is surprised as Robin seems to prefer taking the form of a child, perhaps to have villains underestimate them? But they just assume Robin is trying out something new.

The batkids definitely tell eachother about what was said/happened as to further sell the act of Robin being a shapeshifter, because clearly it has to be the same person, Robin knows what happened, so it couldn't of been someone else dressed as Robin.

[t1cg]

Dick is the type of person to yell “Bruce catch!” And let go of his grapple while swinging full speed.

When Dick eventually left behind was fired from Robin he still continued swinging at Bruce, and Bruce never failed to catch him.

And when Jason became Robin, and Dick got mostly past Bruce giving his name to the kid. Dick told Jason stories about it, never showing him except once, when he and Bruce were on slightly better terms. Dick did it more forceful than usual.

It took Jason a month or two as Robin before he was comfortable enough with Bruce to trust him to catch him.

For Tim, they didn’t show him. But he’d picked it up from seeing Dick and Jason do it. The first time he did it, it damn near gave Bruce and Dick a heart attack.

For the short period Steph was Robin see never got the chance. But you bet she remedied that when she became Spoiler.

Damian was more hesitant. Always worried it would be a trick. Because it was an easy way to ‘accidentally’ cause him harm. But after seeing Dick, Tim, and Steph do it and be caught every time, he eventually gave in. You’d never catch him admitting it but that first moment wrapped in his Father’s arms as Bruce caught him for the first time, and the small smile Bruce gave him when he stepped away, that is one of his favorite memories.

Cause Bruce would always be there to catch him.

He couldn’t catch Jason, never again.

[thisiswhereikeepdcthings]

Robin!Dick: And that’s why there should be a team of young heroes!

Bruce: They all have their own cities and-

Dick: And it’s important to make friends.

Bruce, recalling every parenting book he has: Hrn.

Dick: That was the agreeing grunt which means you know I’m right. I need to practice making friends.

Bruce: You have friends and-

Dick: And I need to get in LOTS of practice now so I can have friends when I’m old like you.

Bruce, age 28:

Bruce:

Bruce: I have friends.

Dick: *snorts*

[comics-centalx]

Dick and Jason's responses are the only correct ones

[ffaelix]

random headcannon that tim has a weird talent for perfectly guessing the ending of any movie or tv show after just 10 minutes of watching. it’s like detective work, but for media plots.

the batfam tests him by making him watch increasingly obscure indie films and convoluted thrillers. every time, tim casually predicts the twists, leaving everyone annoyed. jason once dramatically declared, "you're banned from movie night"

tim’s response? "fine, but I was right about the villain, wasn’t i?"

they start calling it “Drake’s Law”—tim is always right about plot twists, even when you wish he wasn’t.

[frownyalfred]

Clark wanting to trade up on good cop/bad cop with Bruce is so funny to me because Bruce would, without flinching, push someone off a rooftop, break their leg, and then go down and step on that leg until he got the intel he wanted.

[fanaticalthings]

While I do find it funny that henchmen in Gotham probably warn each other about the Red Hood because he's a bat who will actually kill you. I think it would be better if Jason was actually seen as some sort of savior or idol to like 90% of the goons scattered around Gotham. Doesn't matter who they work for, they all know Jason, former crime-lord that took over majority of Gotham's underground in one night.

---

Jason, years after the events of UTRH, now fighting crime alongside the batfam, except every goon he runs into immediately recognizes him, stops fighting, and starts begging.

the first time it happens, Jason assumes they're begging for their lives only to hear them begging for him to return to the crime lord business so they can work for him and not Gotham's current money-stingy, abusive rogues (Black Mask lol)

---

Jason showing up to patrol as backup for Dick in an overrun warehouse full of Two-Face's henchmen and as Jason's about to interfere, one of the men stops dead in their tracks and stares really hard at Jason until:

Goon: Oh my God, boss, is that you?

Jason, pulling out his guns, about to shoot:

Goon: Mr. Hood, sir???

Jason, halfway about to pull the trigger: Wait a min–Jeremy? Oh wow, it's been ages! How's the wife?

Goon (Jeremy): Oh my God it IS you, holy shit where have you BEEN? Me and the guys miss you, man!

Dick, with a knife at his throat: What is happening right now

Jason: Ahh, well, crime-lording just wasn't fitting in on the daily schedule. Tryna turn over a new leaf and all that

Goon (Jeremy): Aw, that's disappointing. We really liked working for you, right guys?

[Chorus of enthusiastic "YEAHS" from the rest of the henchmen (even the one holding Dick at knifepoint)]

Goon (Jeremy): Well, anyways, I can't beat you up knowing you're my old boss! You gave us the best health benefits! We'll just let you take the evidence and leave.

Jason: Aw, thanks guys :)

---

And that's why 95% percent of Jason's missions in Gotham end in success. Not because he's willing to kill people or because rogues are terrified of him, but because 90% of the rogues' henchmen once worked for Jason and fuckin love him lol.

[prlssprfctn]

Bruce: I never got to see Dick's first reaction to the alcohol, because he tried it before as a kid. Same with Jason, he drank it without me being around. Tim got on his first party with alcohol behind my back.

Bruce: But at least I have Damian. Can't wait for his 21st birthday.

Dick: Yeah, I bet he would have a funny reaction, too!

Jason, sweating nervously, because he made little Damian sip on beer back when they were in the LoA: Y-yeah. C-can't wait.

[bruciemilf]

Jason’s alcohol tolerance is exactly 0.09%, which Dick knows. Which is the primary reason he roped his siblings into playing a drinking game.

At most, Steph, who likes to think she’s fluent in Jason, — or Batboys with repressed emotions, at least, — anticipated the following:

Angry shouting, maybe some swear words God definetly didn’t approve of, trying to fist fight Alfred’s plants, painting the Batmobile pink, and the works.

She definitely didn’t expect a ruby cheeked Jason to cry in Bruce’s lap.

“What the fuck are we gonna do if we don’t know eachother in the next life, huh?!”

Tim piped up with an a nerdy rant, — technically, if life were to reinvent itself into another existence, it’d simply be an alternative universe being created, — but Jason simply throws his shoe at him.

Bruce, much to Damian’s pride, doesn’t look shaken in the slightest. If he can handle his mother, he can handle everything,

“Sweetheart, I really think that’s not going to happen, thought,” he assures him with gentle conviction.

“But we’re not gonna know eachother! What the FUCK. I want to be your son in every life. I’m gonna kill God.”

“Please don’t kill God.”

“We’re Jewish, what do we care?!”

“Jay,” Bruce promised, “I would find you in every universe.”

That was supposed to make Jason feel better, not make him cry harder. But it’s cute Bruce tried, Dick thinks.

He still grounds all of them for paining the Batmobile, thought.

[ditzybat]

dick, who just got black mailed by 12 year old stalker tim: scary, that tim kid has a spot on bat-glare despite not spending anytime with you whatsoever, i mean the resemblance is uncanny

bruce trying to figure out if he ever slept with janet drake: very scary…

[violent138]

Bruce definitely trained all the Robins to abandon him if things got bad. He'd give them scenarios like him trapped under something in a fire, hypothermic conditions, he's too injured, and they need to get information to Lucius, and the list goes on. And to date, the only bit of training his kids have continually failed, whether in simulation or practice, is failing to leave him behind.

[tiger-grace]

Steph: I think we should eat the rich

Bruce, a billionaire, sitting in his grand dining hall with his expensively hobbied family living in a multi million dollar manor, being attended to by a family butler: …that’s great, honey