#bruce just hates wally

[batty-pham]

Danny being new to the family and adjusting to the family dynamics: why does Bruce get all weird when you mention wally?

Dick: oh, because we're dating and he doesn't like that.

Danny, a closeted bisexual now worried that his new father figure is homophobic: oh-

Dick, shrugging, unbothered because his dad hates speedsters, not him dating men: it is what it is.

Danny, seconds away from a panic attack, spiraling about Batman finding out he's bi and kicking him out: it is what it is

[junespriince]

Renegade and Phoenix au (,,,, name in the works)

Bruce: Deathstroke, this ends here.

Wally, Phoenix, sighing roughly: me and A said to not use that line, use those ears for something else then what you do use them for, and you sir, *pointing at Slade* it 3 in the morning, I have school in the morning and he has theater at 1pm, this better be worth it or you're swimming with killer croc.

Jason, as Robin, on Phoenix shoulders: yeah! Like he said!

Slade: I have a new sidekick. One to put a hurting on you. Renegade, come in.

Dick, comes out, deadpan, no mask: sir.

Bruce: another teen won't do anything, Phoenix I— ... Where he go?

Jason: near the new guy.

Slade: wha-

Wally, sped over to Dick, (after putting Jason down gently) grabbing his hand with his: you are positively beautiful, are you free tomorrow? Because I will be, free, tomorrow, or any day of the week really, name the place I'll steal his card and treat you like you deserve, I *Dick puts a knife to his throat, Wally, bites his lip* so wedding in Vegas or wherever?

Bruce: Phoenix, he's the enemy!

Wally, glares at Bruce: dude, you literally have flirted and babygirled your way through enemies and heroes, hush I'm talking to beautiful, gorgeous over here!

Slade: you can't date him, he's trained to kill you!

Wally: maybe someone as boring as you find it like that but that's not a solid case for me.

Slade: I trained him to gut you!

Wally, to Dick: baby you can have my heart and my spleen I don't care, sell my organs! Just one date!

Slade: do you have an shame!

Wally: no, not really, but you should walking around like you're top dog or something, barely a Pomeranian.

Dick, snorts: I thought you said he wasn't funny.

Slade: he isn't!

Wally: well, hard to take a joke when you are the joke. Fungus face.

Dick, laughing: you know what, yeah, I am free tomorrow, meet me at the pier around 8.

Wally, happy, elated even, if had dog tail it be wagging: I'll be there!

Slade: what the hell just happened.

Bruce: I... I can't ground him, his aunt from the grave will kill me...

Jason: can we go home now?

Bruce: I.... Yeah sure.

[cactusracoon]

You know how in YJ Dick can break concrete? I feel like all three Robin's can do something similar just with varying degrees of strength. I think both Daminan and Dick can break concrete, Jason can bend steel with a punch so can steph, Tim can break steel with his punch. Ik that's not how it works I just think it would be funny for the smallest sibling to be the strongest.

[allovesthings]

In my opinion, the butt jokes are incredibly incredibly tired.

So here are several fun facts about Dick that you can use for comedic effects/running jokes instead:

His hatred of Capes. Listen we are talking about Dick wore a yellow cape for 9 to 10 years in universe Grayson. The moment he changed his costume, he straight refused to ever wear a cape again, the only time he had to wear one, it was as Batman and it was very very frustrating for him.

You know that when he watched the Incredibles with Lian and Roy or Damian and Edna Mode came on screen with her hatred of capes, this was his reaction:

Someone else finally understand him. She instantly became his favorite character.

His tendency to put unknown substances/evidence in his mouth and being able to identify it by taste and his knowledge of what Heroin taste like (yep still not over it).

It's both impressive (the fact that he can actually identify something by taste alone is impressive) and gross and even his closest friends don't understand why he is the way that he is, Do we think it's the Bat training or do we think it's just Dick (tm)... I feel like it has to be just Dick, right ? considering everything in Gotham is a toxin of some kind ? How many heart attack do we think he gave both Bruce and the Titans with that ?

Dick Grayson namer of superhero things: Listen, I just learned that Dick named the Arrowcave and now I just kinda love the idea of a running joke that every time a classic superhero in contact with Robin has a goofy name for something superhero related, it probably comes from the 9 year old superhero who thought it sounded cool.

The Titans are never letting that go and Dick doesn't want to talk about it (but he secretly still really like the names, they were cool when he was 9 and pretty practical when you think about it, thank you very much).

Everyone has a crush on him (tm): Honestly it is pretty funny that everyone and theirs entire family have a crush on Nightwing (and also pretty consistent canon since Raven in ntt). The reaction of the batfam is annoyed because that's gross, it's Dick, theirs brother/son, and the Titans are amused (Donna, Vic, Garth and maybe Wally) or maybe sorta part of the people who have had a crush on him (Kory obviously , Roy, Raven).

You do need to be careful with that, but I think if you do the opposite of what DC is usually doing, you'll be fine.

Also you can also includes the disastrous first date with supergirl in that. She also had a crush on him and they date was so horrible that he considered changing superhero identity because it was so embarrassing (truly one of the greatest plot-point on Superman/batman world finest honestly and this series is genuinely my favorite modern/current series)..

His petty side when he doesn't like someone: Listen, Dick has a petty side, ask Helena circa Outsiders (2003), Talia (always), Jason circa the late 2000s (Morrison era) and Azrael (also always). When he doesn't like people but has to work with them, he is going to be a little shit because they have to know he doesn't like them. it's important. and the comedic potential of Nightwing, one of the most competent, known and admired hero of the community being so petty is excellent. 10 out of 10, I need him to work with someone he hates again just for the fun of it.

The last one is just an headcanon and do not have basis in canon as far as I know:

Sometimes, as an adult, Nightwing says Holy shit in front of a classic superhero and that superhero does a double take because they are so used to him saying Holy goly batman (and that include Batman).

[nosyrobin]

||DC X SONIC!READER HEADCANNONS||

Summary: HEY?! A wild blue hedgehog that’s as fast as flash?! WHAT THE—

Sonic!reader who accidentally travels into a comic universe, dc as a choice and accidentally standing in the justice league HQ. “Uhhh.. meow?” The hedgehog says with a shrug. Immediately the hedgehog is running as quick as the flash? Barry or Wally, whatever you think is the flash at the moment is trying to catch the damn hedgehog. But the hedgehog only thinks of this as a game! Smiling before feeling his legs get caught in a glowing yellow rope.

“State your business and name!” The lady with the lasso says holding the animal up. Sonic!reader spits the truth out by how he has accidentally traveled into this universe. The team didn’t want to believe it, but you were still in the lasso of truth. So you were telling the truth. The hedgehog is already friends with flash, who wants to see how fast the hedgehog can do. And seeing how they both can do speed off and stop time while staying slow, yeah they both are downing food together.

Hal who literally makes fun of the quick hedgehog, that was before Sonic!reader took the ring off his finger so quick, flash laughed with the others. Batman only smiled a little before it quickly gone away.

Superman is gushing over how small the hedgehog is. He can’t help but not take Sonic!reader seriously. Really he can’t take the male hedgehog seriously because of how small and how funny and how they are determined to help people. It’s adorable to the man of steel!

Wonder Woman who adore the small hedgehog as well, after learning the adventures Sonic!reader has done and fought during. Wonder Woman smiles at the hedgehog, Sonic!reader then tells about how they have a female friend that wields a hammer. Immediately Wonder Woman is sat down when Sonic!reader describes the hammer and how big it is. Now Wonder Woman needs to know lore.

Gotham villains hate to see Sonic!reader coming when literally next minute they are in jail or in the asylum. Literally poison ivy and Harley were ready for their plan to succeed. But when they took a step forward, they were already in the asylum with a hedgehog swinging cell keys playfully in a guard uniform. “Already ahead of ya! Bye bye!” Then the blue hedgehog is gone.

The hedgehog being wrapped in a blanket like a baby because he got a bit tried when running. Clark is trying not to cry while holding the hedgehog. “Clark…give me the hedgehog.—" Bruce tries to grab the hedgehog. But the super immediately flies away.

Sonic!reader Who does his idle animation whenever speeding away from danger, mocking them as he wags his finger. “Gotta try harder than that!”

Catwoman having her whip around the blue hedgehog, having him hogtied. Sonic!reader is grumbling like the gremlin they are while catwoman, aka Selina is contacting Bruce. “Bruce..I got a hedgehog that says he’s with you..” “sigh..here I come.”

Barry and Wally just watching Sonic!reader speed around, they laugh at how adorable and excited the house. They Wally speeds over to try and stop sonic!reader who got stuff in a box.

“That’s so crash!” Bart says smiling at Sonic!reader who burned into a empty street with their speed. The fire shows a detailed chili dog. “I don’t know what that means, but yeah!” Reader says smiling and high giving Bart.

Impulse who likes Sonic!reader like a brother. Always asking for races and who can shove most food, but honestly it makes impulse and the flash family kinda disappointed to see that you aren’t really like them as you throw up. You eat for energy, they have to eat or else they die. Impulse still likes you treat you like you are part of the flash family, just like the flash does as well.

“You’re too slow!” Sonic!reader says when speeding pass impulse, aka Bart. Bart smiles at this and zooms to catch up which his new brother figure.

Batfamily vs Flashfamily wanting custody over the small hedgehog.

Bruce just training and seeing how fast Sonic!reader is and his potentials before treating Sonic!reader like son he just picked up. (He basically did) Bruce seeing how childish and smart mouth he can be reminded him of one of his sons, so he just basically “adopted” this small hedgehog.

Dick is just not amused at another speedster, what he is amused that this so called “speedster” is named Sonic and is fast like the flash. Reader just shows up in the manor holding up a chili dog with a goofy smile. “Want one? It’s still hot.” Dick couldn’t help but smile at the adorable hedgehog male and took the chili dog. Only he took the chili dog because he wanted to seem nice

Damian who couldn’t care what you are and who you are. Thought he is amused by how quick you are to have the audacity to talk back to him. He found out your weakness and smirks every-time the face of the hedgehog’s face drops at the word “pool.

Tim basically being DR. Eggman for Sonic!reader but more chill and totally not a villian. Tim just wants to know how a hedgehog is talking and is fast like the flash. Maybe he would pull on your quills to get a sample

Jason just reading the hedgehog books, maybe even bringing a comic book to Sonic!reader’s liking as the hedgehog has an oversized shirt with a goofy ahh smile. “Sup Jay!” Sonic!reader says with a smile. Jason just stays quiet and prays that he doesn’t show cute aggression at this hedgehog ass motherfucker.

Sonic!reader who just relaxes in the Wayne manor, talking to Alfred who just freshly made him some chili dogs. Yeah reader can get use to this.

[incorrectbatfam]

Jason is a hopeless romantic 100%

it just doesnt show

But everyone goes to him whn its time to plan dates

Dick: Hey, can I ask you something?

Jason, reading: No.

Dick: You see, Wally and I have our weekly date night coming up, but we've been to pretty much every place there is. You got any ideas for how to shake things up?

Jason: *scribbles coordinates and tosses him the Bat-plane keys*

[later]

Wally: Wow, I've never been to the top of the Eiffel Tower.

Dick: I'm glad you like it.

Dick: *texts Jason a thumbs up*

Jason: *read at 8:55 PM*

———————

Tim: Jason, glad you're here! I totally forgot it's me and Bernard's six-month anniversary. Help me out, man.

Jason, clipping his toenails: Fine. You better write this down 'cause I'm only saying it once.

Tim: *nods*

Jason: Go to Home Depot. You're gonna need some rope, a tarp, hammer and nails, a hatchet, matches, and fuel. After that...

Tim: *furiously takes notes*

[later]

Bernard: A camping trip was a great idea. It's nice to get away from it all. And I can't believe you set this all up yourself.

Tim, chuckling nervously: What's a boyfriend for if not to build a tent and chop down a tree?

———————

Duke: So the school dance is coming up.

Jason, working: Theme?

Duke: Under the sea.

Jason: Ugh, how cliché. Anyway, Armand's Tailoring has a blue suit that'll match whatever your girlfriend's wearing. Tell him I sent you. After that, call Patricia's Bistro and make a reservation with the code word "surreptitious." Alfred can take you in the limo if you give him a 24-hour heads-up to clean it. Once you're there, remind the DJ he owes me a favor to get your song requests bumped up. And remember, a slow dance is basically moving your feet in a square but otherwise go with the flow.

Duke: Sweet, thanks!

———————

Cass: Steph is sad.

Jason, cooking: *sighs*

Jason: *takes out a tub of ice cream*

Jason: *scoops a hole in the middle*

Jason: *fills it with candy*

Jason: Here.

Cass: Thanks!

———————

*phone rings*

Jason, waking up from a nap: What?

Kory: Sorry if I woke you. Barbara's coming over for breakfast in half an hour but I burned it with my powers. It was supposed to be eggs benedict.

Jason: Order takeout and put it on fancy plates.

Kory: You're a lifesaver—

Jason: *already hung up and went back to sleep*

———————

Kate: It's Renee's birthday tomorrow. I have a gift, but I'm not sure if it's good enough.

Jason, polishing his gun: If it's from you, it will be.

———————

Bruce: *walks in*

Bruce: Hey, son. Selina's not talking to me after our argument. How do I tell her how much she means to me?

Jason, reciting Shakespeare: I know no ways to mince it in love, but directly to say, "I love you."

Bruce: You're right. I'm just gonna tell it to her straight. Thank you.

Bruce: *leaves*

Jason: *takes off his headphones and turns around*

Jason: Did someone say something?

———————

Damian: Todd, what is love supposed to feel like?

Jason: Why do you want to know?

Damian: None of your concern. Now tell me.

Jason: *shoots a training dummy*

Jason: It's when they're lodged in your head like a bullet. Except without the excruciating pain and messy red stuff.

Damian, nodding: Tell me more.

———————

Roy: *takes down a villain*

Jason, sitting on a roof: *wolf whistles*

Roy: The hell?

Jason: I know hot when I see it.

Roy: What are you doing here?

Jason: I brought Arrowdogs.

Roy: You hate Arrowdogs.

Jason: But you don't.

Roy: Aw, how sweet—EYES UP HERE, TODD!

[celaenaeiln]

Bruce and the Titans relationship

Literally Batman and the titans relationship is so funny because it's just a social tug of war of who Dick belongs to.

Batman and the Outsiders (1983) Issue #5

The titans are literally losing their mind over Bruce and Dick's relationship. They can't understand why Dick could ever love someone like Bruce and Bruce can't ever stand Dick being with the titans

World's Finest: Teen Titans Issue #1

The feeling is mutual.

The titans don't think Bruce is good enough for Dick and Bruce doesn't think the titans are good enough for Dick. Both sides hate the other.

Garth's treatment of Bruce

Titans (2016) Issue #28

vs

Garth's treatment of Dick

Titans (2016) Issue #28

Batman can work with each of them individually, like Victor, but he doesn't think together they're good enough to have his son.

When the Justice League and JSA and the Peacemaker Corps comes to save the Titans, they find almost all of them freed except for a few.

JLA/Titans Issue #2

Bruce: WHERE'S MY BABY?!

Wally: HE'S GETTING OTHER PEOPLE'S BABIES, SHUT UP!

Bruce is probably just grinding his teeth about ever letting Dick join the Titans in the first place if this is what's gonna happen.

[pinkhoodi]

it’s 7 pm, friday night !

✎ᝰ — texting the dc men the lyrics of “tgif” by glorilla

♡⃕ — bruce wayne, dick grayson, jason todd, wally west, khaldur’ahm, roy harper x reader

♡⃕ — genre + warnings: fluff/crack + these mfs are haters 😒

♡⃕ — a/n: putting the clean version just for the sake of !

♡⃕ I AINT GOT NO NIGGA AND NIGGA DONT GOT ME 🤣🤣🤣. oooo grayson would hate me when this song dropped

♡⃕ bye babes, drink your water and I love you MWAH 💕

𝐕𝐎𝐓𝐏 💗: 2 timothy 1:7

© 𝟤𝟢𝟤𝟦 𝗉𝗂𝗇𝗄𝗁𝗈𝗈𝖽𝗂. 𝖺𝗅𝗅 𝗋𝗂𝗀𝗁𝗍𝗌 𝗋𝖾𝗌𝖾𝗋𝗏𝖾𝖽

[qcomicsy]

Phrases I bet were said on the Wayne Manor without context.

Duke *looking at Dick while he puts his coffee on the breakfast table*: So you're telling me that superman was your stepdad?

Dick: He was NOT my stepdad.

Duke: HE TOOK YOU AND BRUCE TO BOWILING!

Dick: He was being nice!

Duke: MY BROTHER IN GOTHAM THAT'S A DATE-

Alfred: Master Tim ..... Wheres your spleen?

Jason (To duke): Oh yeah shit you haven't died-and-brought-back yet- So...

Tim: Now if you beat me- It's a hate crime.

Duke (to Jason): See? this is why you died without ever having felt the touch of a woman.

Damian (to Tim): I couldn't care less if your friends are coming over for diner, Alfred the cat it's not leaving this table.

Steph (To Bruce): You just mad because I me and Tim used to make out on the Batcave

Bruce (to Tim): You what?

Damian: ... No I don't care if it's homophobic Iwill break his hand if he touches my Utena collection again.

Jason (to dick): whY IS THIS MF ALWAYS HERE?! DON'T YOU HAVE A JOB-

Tim (to Damian): Have you ever had this days where you feel like nothing

Damian (to Tim): "hAveE yOu eVeR hAd ThEsE. dAyS-" Go find someone who gives a shit.

Bruce (To 29 year old Dick): I will not ask again get out of this chandelier right now-

Bruce (To 10 year old Dick): No I cannot refund you that's not gow it works-

15 Year old Dick (To Bruce): HE'S NOT MY BROTHER ... (To Wally on his phone) Yeah I can't go today I have to watch my stupid brother.

Jason Todd (To a very very scared Bernard): Have you ever killed someone?

[florisa6s]

A idea- mostly bats

I like the idea of different heros getting those good meds after a hard mission...

----

Tim: are you sure you have it handeled?

Wally on the phone: Of course i have it handled, no offense but I've been taking care of your brother for years now-

*Dick in the background wobbling out of the medbay making his escape*

Wally:-so I think I know exactly-

*Dick punching a random person as he fights security behind Wally*

Wally:- how to do it!

*Screams in the background*

-----

Tim: Dick I really don't think thats a good Idea right now....

Dick: what do you mean Damian is loving it! look how happy he is.

*Damian in a pool with a Nightwing floaty and arm floatys looking into the distance with wide eyes*

Tim: he looks like he's going through an existential crisis...or roleplaying a dead goldfish.

Dick: no, he's so happy! look at that face and tell me he's not overjoyed!

Jason: he is not overjoyed.

------

Tim: okay weird question- when superman is on pain meds what would someone do if *hypothetically* someone who looks like Superman is currently floating up into the sky towards the sun and you can't get him down because your busy saving your brother from flying away too-

*Damian holding a sleeping Jon on a leash about to fly away with Tim holding Damians legs.*

Tim: so what would someone do..... hypothetically.

*pulls out binoculars to look at a equally sleeping Kon floating past the clouds.*

------

Bruce: have- have I ever told you bout my wifey?

all:....

Oliver: no please do tell *pulls out recorder*

Hal: yeah don't skip any details *flips open a notepad clicking a pen*

Bruce: she is the most beautiful, strongest woman I ever married-

Clark and Diana: aww...

Bruce: she gave me the most beautiful angel son and I'm so proud-

Barry: wait son-

Bruce: but shes always too busy killing people to visit and my son looks exactly like her! he even gives me the same disgusted look when I drink out of the milk carton-

all:....

Hal: uh...kill? she kills people?

Bruce: yes I just said that pay attention Jordan. Now don't even get me started on my kids-

*long tangent about how much he loves his kids*

Bruce: -And thats why my little boys are the best, any questions

Clark: I thought you work alone-

Barry: -And that you hate metas!

-----

Dick: uhh what's going on here?

Tim: Jason is killing me *on a chair reading a book*

Dick: really?

Tim: yup

*Jason on the bed holding gun fingers towards Dick*

Jason: Pew, pew clack clack click

Dick: what did he just do?

Tim: he shot you, ran out of anmo, reloaded and-

Jason: pew!

Tim:-And he just killed you with a headshot.

[madds-is-ace-trash]

Nightwing why are you warring a cape? Well for the baby of course! Dcxdp

This takes place in the same universe as my fic Mother of the storm and her star child.

A few years have passed and Danny is completely settled in and moved to bulhaven with dick. Eventually around the time he’s Turing 9 he insists that he wants to go out at night with dick. Dick is hesitant but Danny insist, pointing out how his abilities would make him the perfect recon detective. Dick can no longer argue when Danny beats both Damian and Cass the first day of training and he is out out in the field.

Danny hose out in his ghost form and picks the name phantom because it feels right and now nightwing patrols with a bird if his very own for the first time in a while. Danny is very good on patrols, he sticks close to dick often clinging to him and hiding behind him when dick is interacting with people. He’ll often turn invisible but it still doesn’t fell like enough to dick. He quickly released that he missed the cape and the layer of securing it added when Damien was his Robin.

So nightwing starts wearing a cape, and the people of his city starts coming up with all sorts of theories for the sudden change. The range from him practicing because he’s taking over the cowl to him hiding new gadgets. Very few have seen Danny and those who have are often not believed because, “nightwing had glowing eyes under his cape!” Is not very believable.

He doesn’t wear the cape all the time just when he has Danny, the cape is long the outside is black but the inside has a blue and black feather design so it looks like wings when he glides. It has a feature where it retracts in to a role on his back when he need more freedom of movement. And I’m addition to the cape he now has an extra loop hanging form his belt for Danny to grab on to as the hop rooftops. (Danny can will him self to weigh nothing so dick tends to pull him along as he floats any way)

As the news of dicks sudden costume adjustment is circulating he has to come to the watchtower with B for a mission. Danny tags along hiding in his cape like all the Robin had before him with Bruce. Meanwhile Bruce is totally not going all mushy over his grandson he is totally normal about this. All of the Leagers keep giving dick looks.

Until flash finally ask

Wally: so um nightwing what’s with the cape? I thought you hated them?

Dick*with a bright smile across his face*: it’s for my shadow!

Wally: your shadow? How is a cape ganna hide your shadow.

Dick: no not my actual shadow it’s to hide my bird.

Diana: your bird?

*Dick flares one side of the cape revealing the feathered pattern underneath but nothing else is visible hidden under the cape*

Wally: I don’t se-

Dick: whistles like a bird call

Danny slowly fading in to view giving the league a small wave as he scrambles to hide behind dicks legs: Hello

Hal: really Bruce another one!?

Dick Smiling at the small boy in his cape before closing it : nope this one’s all mine!

Meanwhile John Constantine who is present for this mission is freaked the fuck out. Because that kid with the flowing white hair and glowing freckles is definitely not human. And worse than that from what he can sense it’s pretty darn powerful to. He watches as all of his coworkers are working to get the boy out from hiding cooing over him.

Clark: he’s looking a lot better nightwing

Wally: Waite you already new about him?

Clark: yes the boy is nightwings child I’m guessing he only is just now joining the team

Diana: what’s your name little one?

Danny poking his head out of the cape: phantom my name is phantom

Fuck why was that name familiar? Oh shit that’s right John had heard rumors of the new ghost king and a prince milling around the infinite realms this must be the little ghost prince. How the fuck did dick end up with him? Waite sups said that was dicks kid, hold did dick?

John: ha Oh my god! You crazy fucker you fucked the ghosts king!

[were-wolverine]

batfam and the JL as incorrect quotes

*in the batmobile*

Robin (12 y/o Dick Grayson): Have I ever told you how much I love you?

Batman: We are not stopping at McDonald's.

Robin: This is bullshit.

***

Tim: I have an idea. It's deceptive and borderline unethical.

Damian: I'm listening.

***

*at a gala*

10 y/o Dick, to Lex: It was nice meeting you!

Bruce: No, it wasn't.

Dick: We hate you!

***

Batman: What's the point of all of this?

Red Hood: Revenge!

Batman: The best revenge is living well.

Red Hood: Well, there's no chance of that.

***

Tim: So, what’s the plan?

Steph: I don’t know. You’re smart, Damian is mean, come up with something.

***

Bruce: YOU MEAN A LOT TO ME!

Clark: Wh-

Bruce: YOU'RE ESSENTIAL TO MY EXISTENCE!

Clark: Why are you screaming?!

Bruce: I HAVE DIFFICULTY EXPRESSING MYSELF! IT HELPS TO SAY SENTIMENTAL THINGS IN AN AGGRESSIVE TONE!

Clark:

Bruce: I FUCKING LOVE YOU!!!

***

Dick, cradling Wally’s face lovingly: Hey. I spilled superglue on my hands.

***

*at the Watchtower*

Green Lantern (Hal Jordan): Is Batman… laughing?

Flash (Barry Allen): *nods*

Green Lantern: I’ve never been more scared in my life.

***

Jason: I know we’ve always had this unspoken rivalry.

Tim: Not a rivalry, you’re just always mean to me. And not unspoken, you talk about it all the time.

***

Harley Quinn: I did it for love!

Nightwing: Cool motive, still murder.

***

Harley: I’m not a thug, I’m a law abiding citizen!

Signal: Okay, then name one law.

Harley: Don’t kill people.

Signal: That’s on me, I set the bar too low.

***

Cass: I was thinking about how I’d make the perfect American president, based on my skill set, dance ability, and blood lust.

***

Dick: Tim, please keep an eye on Damian today. He’s gonna say something to the wrong person and get himself punched.

Tim: Sure, I’d love to see Damian get punched.

Dick: Try again.

Tim: ….I will stop Damian from getting punched.

***

*after a JL meeting*

Batman: Flash, can I speak to you for a minute.

Flash (Wally West): Oooooh, someone’s in trouble!

Batman:

Flash: It’s me. I don’t know why I did that.

***

Hal: And, once again, Green Lantern and the Flash save the day!

Diana: You didn’t do anything. It was all Barry.

Hal: We’re a package deal. Everyone knows that.

***

Nightwing and Red Hood: *looking at a suspicious stain*

Red Hood: Gasoline? I’m pretty sure that’s water. Well, only one way to tell.

Red Hood: *lights a match and sets the stain on fire*

Nightwing: There were definitely more ways to tell!

***

Bruce: I tried to acknowledge her feelings. It wasn’t easy. There were a lot of them.

[earlier that day]

Selina: I’m just so confused- Are you… are you climbing out the window?

Bruce: *halfway out the window*

Bruce:

Bruce: No.

***

*at a bar*

Jason: Thanks for the advice. I gotta go.

Roy: Um, aren’t you forgetting something?

Jason:

Jason: *hesitates before awkwardly kissing him on the forehead*

Roy: No! Pay your bill! Damn, who raised you?

[mysadcorner]

Could I request a headcanon of treating their injuries for Bale!Bruce Wayne, Wally west, Jason todd and Aqualad please

Treating DC Character’s Injuries Headcanons

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Bruce Wayne

• Bruce would probably try to avoid you at first if he was seriously injured, he doesn’t want you to worry and he certainly can’t stand it when you show him sympathy for the pain he’s in. If Alfred’s not around then he’ll use you as a second resort, even though it will crush his ego a bit.

• He hates getting injuries, but he’s not really ashamed of getting them unless someone got away or someone got hurt that wasn’t supposed to. He’ll happily get hurt countless times in order to help people, no matter how often you tell him off for it while stitching him up.

• Bruce gets stitched up quite often, so he really won’t be bothered by the pain while you’re helping him out. However, he will try to keep up appearances in front of you to make it seem like he’s handling it better than he is, he won’t want to be vulnerable around you unless he’s known you for a very long time.

• If Alfred is busy, the wound isn’t that bad, or he just so happens to be near you when he needs to have his injuries checked at, then you might end up helping him out quite often. He wouldn’t plan on this, but he appreciates you being there when he needs it.

• Since the two of you are used to each other’s company and he prefers you being around, he’ll probably want you to stay with him for a while after his injury has been treated. In his earlier days of being Batman he wouldn’t have wanted company after an injury, but he’s come over that after it became harder to get people to leave him isolated.

Wally West

• It’s hard for someone to get a hold on Wally and hurt him, but when they do he’s absolutely defeated afterwards. He doesn’t want to admit it but he feels ashamed even when he keeps on a smile through the pain, you can’t help but look at him like a kicked puppy once he comes to you to get patched up.

• Wally wouldn’t be ashamed of the injury, depending on what it is, but as long as the injury didn’t prevent him from helping people then he would mainly just be bashful about it. He tries his best to make it into a situation he can joke about, mainly to avoid getting stressed himself.

• He is actually much more squeamish than you’d think when it comes to his own injuries. Fighting others and seeing their injuries is fine, but having to look at his own is a bit harder for him to deal with if he can get it looked at immediately or his adrenalin is wearing off.

• He doesn’t get injured as much as the others would, because of his speed he’s more likely to dodge anything that could cause him harm. But, he does come home with an injury every now and then to the point where it wouldn’t be anything dramatic if he did somehow sustain an injury. It comes with the job.

• Wally is pretty clingy, even without an injury, so he’d want you to spend time with him especially if he’s hurt. Once he’s all stitched up or his injury has been seen to he’ll spend almost all of his time with you until he’s capable of running around again freely.

Jason Todd

• Jason needs comfort even if he won’t admit it, soo when he comes to you to fix up his injuries it’s more so that he can receive comfort rather than relying on you to stitch him up. He has plenty of people that could deal with his injuries, but it’s you that he wants to spend time with.

• Jason hates to admit that he’s got an injury, and hates even more to admit that he’s in pain. Even if he is capable of being vulnerable around you and comes to you for help, he’s still going to have a hard time expressing it fully and asking for the help he really needs. If you weren’t around then he’d just stitch himself up, and in desperate occasions he’d go to Alfred.

• On the outside, he’d be handling you stitching him up or caring for his injury pretty well and may try his best to be stoic about it for as long as he can. On the inside, he’s in agony. It’ll take a lot of time and a big attempt to break down his walls for him to freely tell you how much pain he’s in or express what he’s going through at all.

• Jason tends to pick the tougher guys to fight against, especially those that have a lot of men working for them. So, despite his weapons and training, he’s still going to sustain injuries pretty often. Thankfully, the one’s you deal with for him aren’t too major.

• Jason is actually desperate for company, while he’s injured or not. And the fact that you’re willing to be near him and help him when he’s hurt gives him a lot of comfort that he’s been missing out on. It’s not often he gets close to people, so he’s going to take advantage of you being around for as long as he can.

Aqualad

• If it’s been established that he’s more than welcome to come to you when he’s been injured, then he definitely will. It might make sense going to someone more qualified, but his injury being dealt with by your hands makes him feel better about the situation.

• He wouldn’t be ashamed of the injury, but he would be worried as to how he let it happen and how it could possibly happen again if he wasn’t careful. It makes him much more vigilant about things after he gets an injury he knows he could have prevented.

• The pain he’s going through and how he’s struggling with the injury while you’re attending to it is going to be obvious, but he does try his best. He’s good at keeping still when you need him to, but will express how much hurts at the same time.

• This really isn’t a regular thing, usually he’s able to deal with the people he goes up against fairly well. Every once in a while he does come back with some sort of injury, but it’s definitely not a regular occurrence, especially if he has someone else that could see to his injury too.

• He does like you to stay with him once you’re done helping him with whatever injury he has, but that’s mainly for the conversations he can have with you. He’s mostly going to just listen to you talk, and it’s a nice distraction for him.

[junespriince]

Wally: I sit here today because my uncle retired and you guys just dragged me in here, I didn't have a choice. I was working my own city, the Titans, and sometimes helped other heroes and now I have to work here and come to almost daily meetings? How can I get fired? Can marrying your son in Vegas make you let me leave? I want out of this.

Bruce: the dimension overlord said you must be here, we need a speedster or balance will be distributed.

Wally: how about you disturb deez nuts old man. I don't give two donkeys pucks about this "balance" when I'm forced to look at my two biggest enemies all day.

Oliver: I know Barry raised you, but could you have manners kid?

Wally: can you stop getting pegged by my therapist?

Oliver, blushing as if the league doesn't already know this:

Wally: no? Okay, then shut up.

Bruce: this is a bit excessive, West.

Wally: says the guy who fights his ex father in law/enemy shirtless. I don't know about you, but if my son grandfather challenged me to a duel the shirt stays on.

Bruce: how?

Wally: what does "dating your son" mean to you? Self proclaimed greatest detective over here lady and gents, give him some applause for being stupid. Though, with all the smart women you attracted I guess it has it charms to a certain group.

Clark: a lot of sass today, huh?

Wally: and rightly so Mr. Kent—

Clark: kid, you've known me for years and marrying my kid, it's uncle Clark now.

Wally: sir, I was raised my a Midwestern woman, it's sir, ma'am, and whatnot, deal with it. Anyways, it's rightly deserved, I'm losing a lot of precious time spending it here because Gotham's playboy bicycle decided now he'll have a standard and not fix this problem by helping the dimensions asshat get laid. Do you understand how much this cut into my personal life outside of heroing, Bruce?

Bruce: well—

Wally: shut up sir, you don't because unlike you I don't have a son I was blackmailed into adopting that can run the business, no, I'm an average man here working a real job, and trying to make time for my boyfriend. We get it, you're an emo furry with a tragic backstory that makes it hard to emote, well bucko guess what, I had shitty parents, uncle Hal thinks I have no friends, and what else... OH yeah! I was stuck in the speed force trying to get out and everyone I loved stop trying to save me and assumed I was dead. So, fire me!

Bruce, and his ego™: no. Balance needs to be kept.

Wally: I will make you regret this choice.

Both of them glaring at each other:

Diana: well, at least meetings will be interesting.

Hal: in my defense you didn't have friends over when I visited so how was i supposed to know...

Oliver: didn't Barry told you one time to come because Wally was at my house having a sleepover with Roy?

Hal: ... Okay I'mma be so real right now, I heard come over and the rest was white noise.

Wally: ew. I'm right here.

Hal: kid, hush, the adults are talking.

Wally: ... I'm 29, dude bye. I'm done with this. *Gets up and leaves*

Arthur: he has grown up so much.

Bruce, who knows Wally at his worst teen years: yeah, he's gotten worse.

Oliver: so about this fighting shirtless with your ex father in law.

Bruce: so about you getting pegged by our therapist.

Oliver:

Bruce:

Oliver: I hate you.

Bruce: yeah, yeah, love you too idiot.

[thiccpersonality]

The Realization

It's hard being the only human in a team full of meta-humans, aliens or straight up gods, but Bruce manages to get by...even if internally he's overly critical of the work he does, always comparing himself to others and telling himself to do better. But, he secretly counts his blessings one-by-one at how he has friends colleagues that reassure him everyday that he does so much-yes, even when he doesn't ask for it...Clark always tells him it's in his eyes, that's how he knows Bruce wants it.

Bruce finds that stupid though, the only thing in his eyes is exhaustion, and if not exhaustion, then anger; and if not anger, then it's probably a cocktail of self-loathing, self-hate and self-deprecation sprinkled with a healthy dose of "I wish I was dead."

Anyhow, Bruce counts his blessings secretly, even if it doesn't seem like he's doing so. And while it's hard being one of the only humans without a power in a group full of meta-humans or fully fledged super powered beings, he is grateful for the other aspects of power he has: his name, his face, his money, influence-and one of his actual favorites...when he's in a good mood-his body. Bruce isn't an idiot (Jason: "Not all the time anyway!"), he sees the way people eye him up and down, both men and women alike, he knows their thoughts towards him...or well, his body at least.

He has seen the way women eye his arms and pecs (Wally: "You mean, Batboobs®!? And doesn't everyone eye those?"), watches the way mens eyes glaze over when staring at his mile long legs.

Which brings us to how Bruce never truly feels small, not anymore at least. Even if he was of smaller height for a man (or in general) his position in life and as a hero/vigilante would make him feel and appear big to people. So, Bruce hasn't felt small in a very long time, he tends to not pay attention to things like height much-to reiterate: he never feels small because 1. He isn't and 2. Even if he was, who would be brave enough to tell one of the richest men on earth-let alone THE Batman that he's short?

The answer: no one.

So while Bruce has never had anyone say to his face that he's short, he's the World's Greatest Detective™ (Jason and Stephanie: "Ehhhh...occasionally.) and can see for himself the difference of him compared to everyone else.

Who is everyone else you ask? Well, it's the people he works with and-and Jason. It's kind of hard for Bruce to truly pay attention to height when he never pays attention to it in the first place or when he's usually in life-threatening situations to really care, in fact, he doesn't know why he is even obsessing over such a thing-'but you do know'-his mind replies. The thing Bruce hates most is that he does-he does know what kick-started this whole height thing, and it was his son; Jason.

XXX

It was any other normal day at Wayne Manor...if you count your son entering your top-secret cave injured as normal. Bruce had his mask off, his icy blue eyes analyzing the information on his computer unblinkingly, there's been an issue with abductions recently and he doesn't want to waste any time on finding out who is up to it, so Bruce has been working overtime (Alfred in a tired tone: "As usual...") trying to find out who it is.

Just as his brain is stringing something together, he hears the sound of a motorcycle outside the Cave, Bruce's brain immediately switches to finding out who it could be. He takes into account every person already inside the house, outside of it, what said people outside said they were doing until his brain very obviously deduces that it must be Jason. Hm? Should he heat some leftovers up for Jason? What is the other here for? Why is he even overthinking it? Jason is free to come over anytime he wants...

....

.....

......

But what if the reason is bad? Is Jason mad at him again? Bruce pinches the bridge of his nose from the sudden headache he gets from his mind panicking, the man just groans softly and turns around just in time to see Jason riding into the Cave, his eyebrow raising suspiciously at the lack of fancy tricks his son bothered not doing.

Bruce silently analyzes his son's body for any signs of distress, starting from his head, he immediately noticed the crack in the helmet and can feel his muscles tighten in worry before remembering he's trained his kids to fight and be able to receive hits as well. The thing that causes him to stand up though is the fact that Jason hasn't noticed him yet, and the way the young man is holding his side isn't helping to ease Bruce's racing mind.

"Jason, is everything alright?"

Hm? Was that too forward of him? Bruce knows his children, but he especially knows Jason and Damian hate being asked for signs of-what they deem as-weakness and injury (Damian sipping his tea: "Wonder where we learned that from, father?)

Jason finally looks up at Bruce, his tone sounding a bit slurred as he speaks, "Jus' fine, B. A little-" he grunts as he stumbles off his bike-"scratch never...hurt me." Okay, so it's more than a little scratch, Bruce catches Jason and can't control the immediate frown he makes when the boy doesn't bother fighting his hold. "What actually happened? It's not just a little scratch...you are clutching your side like you've been sh-" his breathing hitches at the words he almost uttered, w-was Jason actually-

"What? S-Shot? Why's it matter if-" Jason quiets down when Bruce's words finally process, his baby blue's widening under his mask at the small ways his dad is starting to panic from the thought-"No! I was jus' stabbed is all...no shots."

Bruce will get on himself later about how his body relaxed a bit more when finding out his child wasn't shot, I mean, what kind of father feels relieved that their kid was just stabbed? He knows-deep down-that it's his...ahem..."trauma response" to guns, but it sucks for him to realize he finds himself more at ease when people he knows are hurt in different ways that aren't a gun...he feels like a horrible person when it happens.

For now though, his main priority is his son who is losing blood, blood that Bruce is finally noticing on Jason's hand.

Bruce grunts as he brings his son closer to his body, feeling momentarily surprised when he lets out the sound from moving the younger. Since when did he ever grunt when moving his children? Another thing is, when did Jason get so heavy in the first place? When did his once small boy pack on so much muscle and-oh, God...please...when did Jason ever have to bend his knees when Bruce held him?

His body is on autopilot and he can feel himself moving to the medical table, but his eyes are busy staring at Jason's bent knees, his mind screaming at him that this must be a prank his son is pulling-oh! Or maybe Bruce is actually in an alternate universe where his child is bigger than him.

Bruce sucks in a deep breath when arriving at the table, gently lying his son down so he can get to work on stitching his boy up while also giving a (most likely) hypocritical lecture on how Jason should stay safe.

XXX

It was ever since that day that Bruce has been hyper fixated on his own height, along with the height of others. He hates how he's been sneaking in tests and making things awkward with his family because he chooses not to answer and instead rushes off to panic when realizing Jason is bigger than him.

It all happened as soon as Jason was patched up too, his mind recalls every stupid miniscule little detail, from Jason's clothes to the way his hair was messy from sleep and-the worst part-how he had to look up at the nineteen-year-old when the young man got close enough to him. Barefoot and all. The worst part is how Jason didn't even seem to notice it, and Bruce is NOT risking letting his son know, because then he will be picked on for being smaller than him and then his Bluejay will no doubt drag his siblings into this.

Not to mention how Bruce doesn't want to deal with a furious Damian who will demand that they, in his words, "stop disrespecting father before he slits their throats."

It has been a miserable couple months for him-and don't you judge him for keeping this obsession up for months! How is anyone-let alone a parent-supposed to process that they are shorter than their kid? Bruce holds back his frustrated tears at realizing his children are grown and growing, for goodness sakes, he had a meltdown just yesterday when it caught up to him that Richard is a fully grown man...he will never let anyone know about how he clutched onto old pictures of his eldest while crying.

And everyday Bruce is hoping and praying against Damian's growth...of course he doesn't want his son to be stunted in his puberty process...but if he decides to stay little forever then that is perfectly okay with him.

Besides panicking over his family's growth, which, yay for them...really, Bruce has been noticing-and I mean, TRULY noticing, his friends colleagues heights. There are certain people where it's just so noticeable, like J'onn for example, that guy is so huge that you are stupid if you don't notice it. Another hero is Big Barda, I mean, she's a seven foot tall woman...you would obviously notice that.

But there are just some people he noticed it with but it didn't bother him before (thank you Jason for kick-starting this!) And now Bruce is constantly comparing himself to the most closest of colleagues to one's he barely speaks to, it's insane how many files he's gone through just to look at heights. His two closest friends colleagues Diana and Clark are two people he didn't bother with height wise. It didn't matter since they made him feel small in different ways...I mean, you have the Amazonian princess with strength and skills that would put any living creature to shame and a Kryptonian that is more human than most humans, who truly has a heart of gold despite any negative views towards him.

And then there is Bruce: cold, stoic, a touch too sarcastic, jaded, cynical, a negative Nancy, a party pooper (Jason says that), no fun, emotionally stunted, anxious, depressed, stressed, old, washed up, unfunny-and the worst of all; short.

Bruce holds back his distressed noise as Wally West, AKA: Richard's best friend who has been over a million times, stands next to him with that ever bright smile of his and is animatedly talking, effectively ruining his depressing train of thought. When did he get so big? So...grown? He takes in the maturity of his once soft face, the man is still cute no doubt, but he isn't that same round faced boy who bothered him about Alfred's cookies. Okay, okay, maybe he still is that same kid...just older looking and taller now.

"-and that's why I'll need that penthouse full of Agent A's cookies."

Bruce blinks away the sudden wetness in his eyes and looks down (ha!) at The Flash confused, though to the normal eye he looks the same old disinterested as usual. "You need a penthouse? What happened to that modest apartment you got?" Wally blinks in shock behind his mask before giving a toothy smile, "Is that what your mind got from that? I was joking about the penthouse...though Agent A's cookies would still be much appreciated."

The ginger shifts in place nervously at the way Batman is staring at him, did he do something wrong? The only thing that somewhat assures Wally that things are okay is the fact that Bruce gives a grunt of agreement before walking off.

He can't take this anymore! If Bruce stays around Wally any longer he's afraid he'll start crying in front of the kid. Instead, he'll just head to the cafeteria and drown his sorrows in today's dessert. Bruce walks in and sees that Diana is already in line, holding back his grumble as he stands next to the woman and internally mourns the fact his head only reaches her shoulder. "Good morning, my friend! It's a lovely day in space is it not?"

Bruce grunts and doesn't bother looking up at Diana, "It's the same view we see everyday we come up to the Watchtower."

The Amazonian just smiles brighter, warmth radiating from her mood. "Though we see it everyday it doesn't make it any less gorgeous up here." Bitterness. Bruce's heart is filled with bitterness at the words "up" and "here" , is-is Diana teasing him? Did she somehow find out about his fixation and is now subtly letting him know that she knows?

The feeling of warmth, like that from the sun, at his right side causes Bruce to automatically look up at the person standing so close to him. His icy blue eyes only widen under his mask at fully tilting his head back to look up at Clark, he feels like sobbing when realizing his head only comes to Clark's chest, why is the man even taller than Diana!?

"Good morning Bruce, Diana. Lovely morning up here, is it not?"

There's that stupid word again! And is it really a good morning when he's been suffering for so long? Bruce frowns at the gentle nudge at his side and Diana's jovial tone, "Told you the view is still beautiful." At Clark's questioning look Diana just smiles more, "Our friend here just is being a sourpuss today. He's grumpy about how I said the view is nice, he just replied about how we see it everyday."

Clark just smiles and looks down at Bruce, his smile turning amused when his friend doesn't move up the line. "Are you just going to stare at me all morning or will you move down the line?"

A scoff is all Bruce can give, not noticing the concerned looks shared over his head as he focuses on piling his food tray with dessert. The concern isn't necessarily from Bruce eating sweets, Diana and Clark both know how much their friend actually has a sweet tooth, the issue is coming from the fact he is willingly eating sweets in front of others on top of the amount it is. Clark just frowns worriedly and sits actual food on his plate while mouthing to Diana about what's wrong with Bruce.

In return, the princess just shakes her head and looks back down at Bruce, choosing to speak up. "You know, it's been awhile since we've eaten alone, just the three of us. Why don't we head to one of our rooms or something?" What she actually means by that is: "let's get Bruce alone so we can figure out what's wrong with him."

The two super powered heroes find themselves even more putoff at Bruce's distracted grunt...it is rare he pulls that one out, usually his grunts have some level of awareness to them, but this one is telling them that he's not actually paying attention. Which is cause for alarm in and of itself. Plus, Clark and Diana have been getting calls from Bruce's family, they are worried about how he's been acting as of late. They report Bruce is running off on them whenever they ask him what's wrong...which actually isn't out of character for Bruce, but if the Batfamily are saying it's different than usual, then it's different than usual.

The two taller heroes lead the shorter to his room, punching his code in before the door opens and they watch as Bruce automatically walks over to his bed and sits on it, shoving a cookie in his mouth and causing Clark to signal to Diana in confirmation that something is wrong.

They use their friend's distracted state to quietly talk about it while joining him in the room, "What's going on with him?" Diana raises her brow as she asks, tilting her head up and to the side so Clark can whisper in her ear. "I don't know for sure...but his lip is jutting out into a micro-pout. I quickly scanned him to see if he was hiding injuries, and while he's not, his muscles are tense as if he's holding back something."

Diana softly ah's and sets her tray down on Bruce's desk, the noise causing the man to look up at them finally. His eyebrows raising when noticing he's in his room, "Why didn't we just eat in the cafeteria?" Bruce holds back his fidgeting at the look the taller two heroes share.

Clark clears his throat, "We were going to originally...but we noticed you were acting off and suggested eating in one of our rooms as a test-"

Diana, being one to never hold back, gets to the point. "A test you failed, Bruce. To be honest, you've been acting off enough to worry your family into calling us to step in. So, can you please tell us what's going on?" Bruce feels genuine embarrassment that this is where his fixation has gotten him, he's too flustered to admit that his issue is the fact he's begun to notice people are bigger than him, I mean, what kind of issue is that?

At Bruce's silence Clark steps forward slightly, his voice patient and gentle when he speaks.

"We are your friends, B. Heck, you even feel like family. And family is there for each other just like me and Di are here for you. Jason has been feeling particularly bad lately...he says he didn't know what he did this time to make you so upset with him, you keep staring him down angrily only to storm off when he looks back at you."

Bruce feels angry with himself for letting such a stupid non-issue get this far. His looks of "anger" weren't anger towards Jason at all, he knows when he thinks hard about stuff he can sometimes look mean apparently, but he was never upset with his Jaylad...the distress was just showing on his face and Bruce most likely masked it with the first emotion that came to mind, one that's easiest for him to express or replicate; anger or irritation.

Bruce hates the involuntary distressed sound that escapes his crumb covered lips, however, for the sake of his family and ending this stupid misunderstanding, he chooses to be...honest (Batfamily: *collectively gasping*)

"Jason...he's bigger than me-" Bruce keeps the Batman mask on so he won't be too vulnerable, his hands tightening on the metal tray from the thought-"For months I have been noticing the sudden growth of my children and I...I didn't know what to do with that information. Did you know that Jason has to crouch when I hold him now? Since when did he need to do that?" At this point of his ranting, Bruce is out of bed and pacing across the room while his friends patiently listen.

"And then it hit me one day that Richard is truly a man now. Maybe that's why we got into so many fights before? I never truly realized that he didn't need my help like before-" Bruce pauses in the middle of the room and clenches his cape in his fists-"He is so much taller now and shining brighter than the little boy I picked up. Timmy is even starting to grow a bit more...which, I don't know if I should be upset or pleased that he's finally growing, that boy scares me sometimes with how small he was."

Bruce's hands instinctively reach up to run his fingers through his hair and he huffs at the mask being in the way, choosing to hide his hands underneath his cape instead.

"Wally is even so big now, did you know that? I remember the young boy with that fat freckled face pestering me about Alfred's cookies...and now that boy has the audacity to get big on me, I think I hate realizing that Dickie-bird is actually taller than his friend now, it's only by one or two inches-but still!" Bruce starts pacing again, his nerves building up once more and telling him to move.

"And don't get me started on Damian. I feel I constantly am trying to sabotage his growth...I never got to see him as a baby and so I hope he stays that small, chubby faced little boy I've come to know. I feel horrible for wishing against his growth, but I want to make his childhood as enjoyable as possible, did you know he didn't even know what movies were when he came here? He was deprived of fun and he can't grow too quickly now or fun childhood memories can't be made."

Bruce stops to finally stare at Diana and Clark, pointing accusingly at them.

"And then you two! I noticed it before, but it was never something of interest to me. I didn't need to pay attention to your heights when I feel small in other ways with you two...you-" Bruce grunts at Clark gently slamming into him and hugging him, the man sounding a mix of fond, touched, baffled and sad. "You don't need to feel small with us. I for one think you are bigger than any of us in many different ways...I mean, you just admitted to having a crisis at realizing your family grew."

Diana joins in on the hug with a soft chuckle, "I'm just surprised you didn't notice our height difference sooner. Clark and I always talked about how cute it is to pick you up, your our tiny human."

The woman just smiles more when Clark nudges her side in warning for her playful words, "But in all seriousness. This has to be the cutest moment we've seen from you ever, instead of a midlife crisis you are having a parental crisis-" Diana cackles again when Clark pokes her side again-"What? I am being serious. But also, this just shows how much you care...and I think it's only normal to feel this way when you never expected to have a family of your own in the first place."

Bruce's breath hitches at the gentleness in which Diana speaks the last part, his eyes prickling with tears at realizing deep down she's right. Ever since he took in Richard he was always amazed and scared at having a family, and no matter how much he's tried to deny it in his worst moments, that's what Richard became ever since he thought of taking him in. Bruce never expected a family, which is why he tries so hard to deny it...and I guess after years of taking care of children it's finally caught up to him that his family-more specifically, his children (because that's who they are) have grown into functioning adults.

He never thought he would want a family after losing his in that alleyway, but if anyone were to take down his defenses...of course it'd be a child.

Clark gently reaches up to tug Bruce's mask off and finds himself wanting to cry at seeing the fat droplets-hanging on for dear life-onto Bruce's eyes, even now his friend doesn't want to seem weak. He can't help but chuckle at the incredulous look Bruce gives him for wanting to cry as well.

"You can cry, Bruce. What are friends for?"

Bruce feels his face grow red, his body loosening in Clark and Diana's hold as months of tension leaves his being through his tears, choosing to hide his face in his friends strong bodies. He hates crying and how good it makes him feel afterwards, he doesn't think he deserves that feeling most days, but for now, it's okay. Bruce also can't help the eye roll at hearing Clark sniffle as well, he's such a crybaby. Diana just smirks at her two boys, carding her long, elegant fingers through Bruce's hair, the two taller heroes paying close attention to Bruce as he shifts in their hold and speaks up. Voice slightly muffled.

"Never speak about this to anyone."

Diana and Clark share a look before silently coming into agreement and lifting Bruce off his feet, reveling in his annoyed protests with laughter.

"We wouldn't dare."

("1. He isn't and 2. Even if he was, who would be brave enough to tell one of the richest men on earth-let alone THE Batman that he's short?" Does the second option imply or mean Bruce is short or is it just a scenario? You decide! I constantly switch between Bruce being a genuine short king and him just being around people that make him feel freaking short 😂.

"Clark gently reaches up to tug Bruce's mask off and finds himself wanting to cry at seeing the fat droplets-hanging on for dear life-onto Bruce's eyes, even now his friend doesn't want to seem weak." <-(Damian and Jason sipping on their tea: "Seems we found that answer to who we learned that from. 😌")

Also, I am so sorry this story got so long! I didn't mean to 😭. This idea has been in my head, and I usually forget my ideas...but this time I actually wanted to remember lol. This is also kind of based off of the one day I was hugging my baby brother and realized I actually had to look up at him...he's only 14 (while writing this I also just remembered he's 14 😭😭😭), I went back into my room and literally just sat there reminiscing on my bed about when he was brought home from the hospital to all the good times we had together and even things I wish I did different with him growing up 😂.

Also, also, I apologize for the constant whiplash from some semblance of humor (or something), to slightly crack-ish (I think so at least) writing to things getting deep and emotional. I was feeling fickle with the vibe of this story I guess, so I said: "why not everything?" 😂😂😂

This is getting even longer cause I like talking too much in notes lol, so I'm going to leave with a thank you! Anyone and everyone who bothers to read this long mess is very much appreciated!

Please remember to stay safe, happy, healthy and of course lovely as always. 💛)

[rubydubydoo122]

What are your thoughts on some of the more popular ships? Fanon and canon. For example superbat, bruce x harvey dent, tim x kon, dick x babs, dick x kory, jay x roy, steph x cass, damian x jon, pennywaynes,...

I’ll list them out

Superbat (Clark/Bruce): I find this ok, but personally, I like it when the trinity acts more like siblings, so it’s not my favorite. 5/10

BruHarvey: lovers to enemies? The angst? Amazing. 8/10

Dickbabs: idk. It feels kinda boring to me. Mainly because DC ruined both of their characters in order for them to be together. 4/10

DicKori: they’re soulmates. Idk what to tell you. And maybe you can tell how biased I am. Right now, they are the opitome of right person wrong time. 10/10

Jayroy: I don’t like this ship. It reduces Roy’s character down to a prop, the age gap feels kinda icky and I personally believe in Aro/Ace Jason Todd. 1/10

Superbat (Kon/Tim): the only version of superbat I truly ship. Reluctant friends, to besties, to flirty friendship, to a game of cat and mouse on if that taunt was real or if they were just fooling around? 10/10

DamiJon: I think their age gap never works in their favor. Either Damian’s too old or Jon’s too old, and it makes me feel wrong. And in more recent comics, they’ve been acting much more like siblings than friends who maybe possibly have chemistry with each other. But I do think if you wanted to go the romance route, it could be double unrequited love that was never expressed. Like a 10yr old Jon had a crush on a 13 yr old Damian. Jon left for almost a decade and comes back, looses feelings for Damian, but a 14yr old Damian has feelings for an 18 yr old Jon, but it never works out. 5/10. Just like their Dads

PENNYWAYNESSSS: 100000000/10. Like are you kidding me, this is the best ship ever and I love it so much.

Honorable mentions:

BruTalia: 10/10. My favorite Bruce ship.

Brulina: 8/10. I like it… but I feel like it wouldn’t work out because Selina would get overwhelmed by the amount of wealth Bruce has. Like she thinks it’s what she wants, but it’s too much for her

Birdflash (Dick/Wally): 8/10. I see the appeal, they’re best friends with so much chemistry, but I feel like they would never date bc they value their friendship more and they’re both super busy

JayKyle: it’s the only Jason ship I like, but only because I want it to be one sided, with Kyle failing to flirt with Jason and Jason is completely oblivious and actually just hates Kyle but Kyle thinks Jason’s playing hard to get. (Kyles flirting is just arguing with Jason, so that’s why Jason never gets the hint) 7/10 +300 bc of hillarity

StephTim: I don’t like this ship because Stephanie deserves so much better, and Tim seems like the type to mansplain every little thing, and it would drive Steph up a wall. I also don’t like the notion that they would be friends after they break up. 3/10 bc they had that piano scene

DamiRae: 2/10. Garchel is a better ship, and I feel like their personalities are too similar.

Flatline/Damian: I love them. I think they’re cute, but I don’t see it lasting long. 4/10

StephCass: 9/10. No more needs to be said. But I won’t ever officially write them as being together within a fic bc Steph’s character deserves to be her own, rather than a lover of a Batfam member, and Cass has her own things to deal with