#bruce is crazy for that

[thesufferingsapphic]

Watching Damian be a realistic 8 year old in merry little batman is so silly and funny till you remember that Dick was 8 when he became Robin

[galaxymagitech]

Bruce: Congratulations, Jason! You’re the first of my kids to graduate college!

Dick: Yeah, first and only one for all eternity!

Bruce: *Ignoring Dick by sheer willpower* Anyway, what are you planning to do next?

Jason: I think I’m going to continue my education in English Lit.

Bruce: *nervously* Great. You’ll get a Master’s Degree, right?

Jason: …

Bruce: …right?

Jason: Actually, I’m going for a PhD.

Bruce: This is a terrible joke. You’re over the supervillainy, right, Jay?

Jason: Look, my application to GothamU’s PhD program was accepted!

Bruce: No child! Of mine! Will get! A PhD!!!

Jason: I’m hoping to be a literature professor at GothamU, if I survive long enough.

Bruce: *screams incoherently*

Dick: I think you broke him.

[lovelylonelymoonlight]

Love the idea of the batfam all being equally unhinged like Tim calls dick every two days with “why’d you take the cameras I use to stalk you down :(“ Dick is always placing trackers on everyone, Bruce just fucking shows up and watches his kids go about their daily lives, Jason’s got eyes all over the city to ping him if someone matching his families description pops up, Barbra is always listening and watching like love that shit

[mikeluciraphgabe]

Bruce, calmly: WHO PUT SLIME IN THE BATMOBLIE

Duke, immediately: it was Dick

Bruce: *staring at Dick with That Face*

Dick: NO IT WASN’T- BRUCE WAIT- I CAN EXPLAIN

Duke: *slips out of room unnoticed*

-

Duke, in front of a camera: it was me. i put the slime in the batmobile.

[fanaticalthings]

POV: You're on Gothamtwt

just gothamite things

<- Prev Masterlist Next ->

[ditzybat]

jason who was expecting tim at titans tower: who tf are you?

robin steph, half in her pjs half in uniform eating a whole tub of peanut butter while watching kuwtk: robin, duh

jason: but you’re a girl?

steph: obviously

jason worried he got his intel wrong: but, robin cant be a girl he’s—

steph: wowwwww, i didnt think the red hood was sexist, see this is why spoilers better

jason: … i’ll be seeing myself out

steph turning back to her show: yeah, you and your spirit halloween robin costume go do that…

[arkhamslvts]

size kinks and jason todd laying you flat on your stomach, your bed faces the mirror and one of his hands keeps your hands pressed flat against your back while the other is pressed against the back of your neck. the position doesn't help considering jason was already huge, it felt like he was bruising every part of you and he knew it "c'mon baby.. take it all" " 's too big sir.. slower" "nuh uh, you like mouthing off so much, you're so big and strong right baby? stay still and fucking take it"

with bruce wayne i feel like it's a little different, it's more subtle. he doesn't mock you the way that jason does, its simply something that's in the air. it's on display whenever he holds you up with one arm firmly wrapped around your neck and the other wrapped around your torso. your back pressed against his chest and he completely dwarfs you, and he knows you like it "that's it... such a pretty girl, taking me so well. fuck, fits like a glove."

[dcxdpdabbles]

Alfred: You can't keep doing this, Master Bruce. Eight-year-old Bruce: I'm not doing anything wrong. Alfred: You are literally trapping my dates in the caves underneath the Manor Bruce: I didn't trap them. They wandered in there and got lost. It's not my fault they are all big crybabies. Alfred: Master Bruce, you lure them to the entrance. Bruce: Cry. Babies. Besides, you'll marry my parents, so it doesn't matter if they fear caves! Alfred: It's not the caves that scare them. It's getting lost and dying in them. Also, Master Bruce, who said I was going to marry your parents? Bruce: The man who lives under our Manor. Alfred: ....What man? Bruce: He has snow-white hair, glowing green eyes, razor sharp teeth, and he sees the future. He said you would raise me, but since my parents are raising me, the only way that can happen is if you marry them! Alfred: Did this...man say anything else? *loading shotgun* Bruce: Yeah, he said not to take ally shortcuts. That's why I made Mom and Dad wait for you to pick us up from the movies. Alfred: Alright. That was decent advice. Bruce: He also said it's my duty to defend Gotham by dressing like a bat and fighting crime! But that one is a secret, so don't tell anyone. Alfred: Of course, Master Bruce. Can you show me where this man is hiding? *clocks shotgun* I would like to talk to him. Bruce: Yeah! And you can help me make a bat costume afterward! Danny, deep underground: Someone just walked across my grave.

[dragonpyre]

Secret Robin au

Part 17 follow up. I can't imagine the pain Bruce must be in upon learning it was his kids all along who he let throw themselves into danger. And only finding out when the absolute worst almost came to pass

Prev / Next / Commission info / ko-fi

[tax-ed-ea-taxus]

i've been thinking about Bruce and how he designed his suit. ive never read a DC comic ever but i saw someone post a panel from an issue where bruce melts the gun that killed his parents into a chest plate to protect his heart and thats justice or something On That Note im not sure if this is canon but i know i've read about how when Martha and Thomas got shot Thomas' jaw was shot off and the thought of Bruce using the gun that killed his parents to protect him while he avenges their memory while also leaving his jaw to be the most vulnerable part of his batsuit makes me feel things i cant articulate

[batcavescolony]

Nightwing: hey Titans, umm id like to introduce you to Robin

Tim Robin: Hi

Titans: uhhh hi

Kory: h-WAIT you're the kid that showed up at my door asking about Nightwing! How did you get my address?

Dick: yeah he does that but it's fine, he's Robin now.

[starry-bi-sky]

i think i'm hilarious -- aka i made blood blossom danny au memes

all of these come from my DpxDC prompt "i am pushing the batdad agenda--" and it's corresponding additions in the reblogs ksdjlf.

i am. rotating them in my head. forever and always. personally i think there should be more batdad aus in dpxdc, their dynamic could be neat. :)

[violent138]

*At the funeral of a former Gotham D.A.*

Tim: "So how come you brought just me?"

Bruce, nodding politely at other guests: "The others keep daring each other to do stupider and stupider things and I just wanted one night without any--"

Tim, choking on his drink: "Oh shit, oh shit, that's one of my exes--" hides behind Bruce and nearly knocks over a large photograph of the recently deceased

Bruce, forcing a smile and desperately searching the room for alcohol, muttering: "Him? Really?"

[flame-343]

"Tim's life as robin sucked", I raise you this

Everyone notices how similar Tim and Bruce are, The unrivaled paranoia that even the other bats think is too much, the caffeine addiction, The lack of being able to cook, the obsession of being a detective specifically, not realizing the value of a dollar their so rich, and so much more.

Everyone thinks that Tim and Bruce were closer together than any other batman and robin duo. He replaced Jason and everyone knows how much Bruce cherished Jason, so he must cherish this one more right? He's so similar to, they never argue unlike Bruce with dick, Jason, Steph and Damian when they were Robin's.

Except one thing they all forget. The reason why Bruce and Jason got along so well together is because they were opposites and we've established that Tim and Bruce are very similar. Tim's time as robin was not peaceful, it was Bruce raising himself. It was full of dangerous training that their basically parent didn't know the extent of, Bruce with alfred, Tim with Bruce.

Alfred didn't want Bruce to be batman, Batman didn't want Tim to be robin.

There was no fighting, no. That's because you could freeze Tim or younger Bruce in a solid block of ice and they would get out and still do it.

[ilonacho]

Sad book club📚

[bambeebirdie]

Okay consider Bruce Wayne is the very well known bankroller for the Justice League. Batman is still part of the league, but they don’t know he’s Bruce Wayne. So, due to Bruce Wayne being such a well known figure and very obviously connected to the Justice League, that has kinda made him a target for certain people which means the Justice League has decided to assign one of their members to help keep him safe. Insert notorious billionaire fighter Superman becoming the part time bodyguard of Bruce Wayne in this epic superbat romance