#bipolar psychosis

[strawberry-scented-stardust]

Being bipolar sucks because what do you mean I was doing just fine, and now every minor inconvenience sends me into such emotional distress that I want to claw at my face for weeks

[fairysquirt]

if anyone here has hallucinations and know of ways to make them stop.. lemme know. Would be greatly appreciated.

[postmoderntongues]

The exaggeration and dramatization of BPD made me miss out on the fact that i had bipolar psychosis until i was 31 the fuck years old because i didnt realize the BPD girlies were exaggerating the fuck out of their symptoms and when you actually experience those symptoms turns out its a whole different disorder

[schizo-polar]

Sometimes it's hard to know what's really reality and that's ok. There's such a stigma against psychosis spectrum people especially when it comes to unreality and the line that borders it. Part of my daily existence, even fully medicated, is based in my reality being uncertain. If people find out I experience psychosis they're unnerved at the very least and violent at the very worst. We need to normalize that reality is different for different people.

[johnlennonirl]

Here I am, posting something similar like the fibro post... this one goes out to my psychotic folks🫶

[giritina]

A small thought for disability pride month... There's a stereotype/myth/common perception that mental health meds make people's art worse. Sometimes, it's portrayed as people being incapable of making art at all. Other times, they simply don't have anything interesting to say now that they're "happy." Some people even avoid going on meds because they worry about not being able to make art.

I want to share some pages of a comic I made during a manic episode, before I was on any proper medication.

I think this comic is very interesting, very raw and unique, but this was my attempt to be understood by other people. I made this art thinking that other people would know exactly what I meant by it. I thought this was incredibly clear, that it would communicate everything I was going through and had experienced without any ambiguity. When people didn't react how I wanted, when they couldn't parse it in the way I intended, it hurt me. Here was my best attempt to be understood, and I remained alone.

Now I'll show some comics I made after being on a mood stabilizer/antipsychotic.

You can say what you like about the artistic merit of it compared to that raw, abstract work I made before, but what matters to me is that I was actually able to connect to other people through this art. When I showed this work to people, their reaction was in line with what I intended. They saw part of me. I made it to show a side of myself I was incapable of expressing without art, and when people read it, they actually saw that side of me.

Without medication, I was trapped in my own world. I couldn't even begin to fathom how to connect to another person because we weren't using the same vocabulary. You might be "interested" or "compelled" by my suffering, but part of that interest comes from the mystery of my delirium. No matter how unique the result, it still represented a failure of intent. Learning to make art again after exiting that delirium was difficult, but I promise you it was and is worth it.

[yousaveeveryonebutwhosavesyou]

The brain is an organ. Mental illnesses are illnesses of that organ. Brain scans show that there is a physical difference between a healthy brain and a sick brain. Telling someone “You’re not really sick. It’s all in your head.” is like telling someone with asthma “It’s not real, it’s all in your lungs.” The brain is an organ that can malfunction as much as any other organ.

[ed-recoverry]

Mental illness is not a death sentence.

Mental illness is not a death sentence.

A diagnosis is not a death sentence.

A diagnosis is not a death sentence.

Stereotypes aren’t your destiny.

Stereotypes aren’t your destiny.

Statistics don’t dictate your future.

Statistics don’t dictate your future.

[schizoetic]

This is for the people who lost opportunities, friends, family, possessions, homes and years because of mental illness. There is still so much that you can have or regain. This isn't the end for you. Better things are ahead. It's still possible for you to be happy and feel whole. Your dreams are still within reach. You aren't broken... you're growing... and I hope someday you'll be satisfied that things didn't pan out ideally for you.

[madpunks]

i don't know what psychotic person needs to hear this, but it is in fact okay for you to be psychotic. it's not your fault. you're not asking for it. it's something that's occurring to you. trying to force it to stop happening ALL the time is going to drain you way too much. some days you just have symptoms and it's alright. sometimes you just have to go with the flow. you're not a fuck up if you have episodes, days, weeks, months of not being able to hold it together and mask your paranoia, intrusive thoughts, delusions, hallucinations, catatonia, confusion, etc. it's alright to just be mentally ill for a bit. i love you

[strawberry-scented-stardust]

Got so high I feel like I got a trepanation. Gotta love body hallucinations uwu

[crimsonprayer]

talking to other psychotic ppl is genuinely a breath of fresh air,,

i talked to someone for a bit about my creature hallucinations, and they told me they experience similar ones,, they said they leave out little treats for them, and i talked abt how sometimes i let them pick things out when im shopping,, it was so nice to be treated with respect even while talking abt smth that would get me judged anywhere else

[postmoderntongues]

My mom literally said if I hold off suicide long enough to die of natural causes and don't actually hurt anybody before it happens she will be proud of me and like she said it out of love because I said how much i was struggling not to SH in some way and how sometimes i lay in my bed for a few hours like a dead person like with my arms pinned down to my side completely rigid and still and do nothing but just focus on being still and not acting on the impulse and like its pathetic i was an honor student my whole life and like Ive been super down lately because it kind of blows to get formally yoinked out of society and told you're not fit to be around people and like spending time in and out of the psych wards for the actually dangerous people and not even totally feeling like you don't belong there like over the years its been less and less times in the short term ones where u go after u cut/attempt (those kind of places won't even take me on unless I have a 1 to 1 staff 24/7 including when im sleeping, showering, or using the bathroom) but now when I go in I usually go in to one where there are a lot of people who are Displaying Symptoms and like people who are probably never going to go home who are there because they did fucked up shit but were too crazy to go to jail and like honestly those are the nicer ones they have better food and better/cleaner facilities and more structured rec time so like when people are Displaying Symptoms constantly and Im polite and quiet and just read a lot and don't make extra work for anybody and basically get along with everybody without any significant conflict I get showered with praise the way I did for being super compliant in school and like its fucked but that's the only time recently that I've been able to feel okay about myself or at least felt like I wasn't an unmanageable burden.

Like it fucks with me so much that I had to leave my Job I was there for 2 years and I loved it and was one of the best most competent employees and got so much positive feedback and the job was something I was good at and enjoyed like it made me so happy I loved going to work but I had to step away because at a certain point I had to accept that not only could I physically not sustain the amount of medication that I needed to get though a shift but mentally it wasn't cool for me to be in the state that I was in doing that kind of work I was doing I felt so good about myself when I was working at that job like it sucks but it essentially came down to the therapist I was seeing at the time saying in so many words that she would try to have me sectioned if I didn't make the choice to go on the SSI after I was approved for it and like pretty much "you need to rest and if you don't rest voluntarily we will MAKE you rest" like they are just now over 6 months later considering looking into a day program for me twice a week where they like take u supervised in a group out into the community to the mall and the grocery store and shops and shit/set u up with volunteer opportunities but like now that Im not living with B and looking to move into a smaller place closer to my family so I can at least see them more and help my dad with stuff around the house and have an excuse to do something other than just getting high all day which sounds nice but yeah my case worker and the Drs at the last hospital I was at and my old therapist keep trying to convince my to accept a "supervised living situation" aka a group home which like fuck that so hard when Im in the hospital Im usually one of like 3 people who isnt in a group home Im not going to live like a goddamn teenager so that some doctors who only understand me as far as they've read about the conditions I am diagnosed with in a book can have peace of mind but yeah that's why my most recent or maybe 2nd most recent therapist dropped

"If something kills you before you kill yourself or hurt somebody else you will have exceeded expectations and made us proud" jesus wept the fucking bar is in hell

[schizo-polar]

Feeling a mixture of things rn. On one hand I feel ok and like I have a little more energy, but I also feel unbelievably tired and like my new meds are just masking my depression. I feel like I don't have the right to take up space. Especially with my new dx. I had only really just started to really feel like I had a place in the bipolar community and I know I still do, schizoaffective is just a new hat.

[citronavalkiro]

One word I really hate is delulu. It really gets on my nerves trying to sound all cutesy and it is usually used by people who never had to deal with psychosis or have delusions before. I just wish people would just stop.

[psychotic-tbh]

Does anyone else’s mental illness mess with their spiritual beliefs, and if so, how?

Not looking to be converted or debated. :0