madpunks

[madpunks]

disabled intersex trans lesbian needs help saving up for rent!

hello there, my name is Equinox, i'm a severely disabled intersex trans lesbian who deals with hypermobile ehlers danlos, arthritis, schizophrenia, IBS and other health issues. i cannot work a conventional job due to my health conditions. i sell jewelry & write zines about queerness and other topics as my primary form of income, as i'm currently waiting on my application for disability payments to go through

my rent is only $178/month due to my housing being subsidized, so fortunately i do not need to save up much

if you are interested, you can find these items and a lot more on my Ko-fi shop!

thanks for reading and helping!

[madpunks]

disabled intersex trans lesbian needs help saving up for rent!

hello there, my name is Equinox, i'm a severely disabled intersex trans lesbian who deals with hypermobile ehlers danlos, arthritis, schizophrenia, IBS and other health issues. i cannot work a conventional job due to my health conditions. i sell jewelry & write zines about queerness and other topics as my primary form of income, as i'm currently waiting on my application for disability payments to go through

my rent is only $178/month due to my housing being subsidized, so fortunately i do not need to save up much

if you are interested, you can find these items and a lot more on my Ko-fi shop!

thanks for reading and helping!

[madpunks]

hey, i saw a post on here saying you guys support non "traumagenic" systems and I was wanting to know if thats true.

You guys are so amazing and have helped me with my identity a lot, but this information is really important to me as a trauma survivor with severe PTSD. If you are pro endos but are open to listening to trauma survivors and phycology sources, I absolutely will provide them. I want you guys to be a safe space for people with PTSD and dissociative disorders so bad, as people who has OSDDDID tend to have more "contradictory" labels in the first place, due to the complex relationship all the different alters identities make combined.

I'm hoping so much that you'll be open to listening if this is true.

hello! i'm good, i don't need any!

if you only have severe PTSD and not a dissociative disorder and do not identify as plural, you should NOT be commenting on plurality at all. like i hate to break it to you, but if you do not deal with plurality, you do not know what the experience is like. reading papers about it will not give you insight into how people actually live.

i'm an inclusive Dissociative Identity Disorder system who is 100% pro endo, and any other type of system. i support ALL plurals, i don't cherry pick. you're correct, this blog is a safe space, especially for people with "contradictory" identities or ones that "don't make sense." why wouldn't i be here for endogenic and non traumagenic systems?

that would go against everything i stand for.

i am a trauma survivor as well. i *have* DID, i don't really need any resources on the matter- before I was diagnosed i spent years researching, and i still do keep up with research. i am aware that DID and OSDD are caused by trauma! generally it's severe, repeated trauma and/or neglect. i have no memories of my life before the age of 10. i too have severe PTSD, i have a diagnosis for C-PTSD in specific. i live with this every day of my life. i still have a lot of trauma and triggers. i black out and lose time and regularly forget who i am or where i'm at.

something to keep in mind is research on DID has literally 0 bearing on other types of plurality. just because there is a lot of research into DID, OSDD, etc. does not mean that other plural experiences do not exist. when ONLY siting medical sources and saying that because there's no other "proof" or "evidence" that other types of plurality "can't" exist, it's an appeal to authority. there is no research data to point toward because studies on DID and OSDD and other dissociative disorders have really only gained traction within the last 10 - 20 years maximum. this is an extremely recent phenomenon! just because there are no (paid, keep in mind that studies have to find funding, and investors are picky) medical papers or studies to point toward doesn't mean something isn't happening.

someone identifying as plural without trauma is not an affront to plurals who do have trauma. someone identifying as a system who doesn't have or know of any childhood trauma is not spitting in your face. i've seen this take around and it's just not it. don't take someone else's mental health as an attack on yours. it's not hurting you at all for people to identify as plural if they don't have trauma. it's not spitting in *my* face, so it's not spitting in yours, either. it's okay to let non traumagenic systems exist. it's not exacerbating your trauma or re-traumatizing you or subjecting you to new trauma.

they're not saying that your trauma is invalid just because they don't have any. i don't like people who get on a high horse because they have a dissociative disorder and act like they get to police how other people's brains work. you only know how your brain works. you do not know how any other type of system works.

endogenic systems are not identifying as endogenic to spite you or dissociative systems. they're not doing it to hurt you. they're doing it because they identify as multiple people. that is not being done with the intention to hurt anyone. this is about THEM, not you. nobody is the protagonist of the plural community. no one.

as a plural, myself, i get to choose who i support. and i choose to support people who aren't hurting anyone or doing anything wrong. i really don't care how offensive some people find non traumagenic systems, but they're not hurting you, me, or anyone else. live and let live. you don't know how someone else's brain works. you will never be able to know how someone else's brain works. accepting that will make your life easier.

being angry at other people for not having trauma will not make yours go away or undo what was done to you. you should never take out your frustrations on people who haven't hurt you. endos haven't hurt you, you just don't agree with them. these are 2 separate things. also you really don't have the right to comment on the nature of how complex non traumagenic plurality is or is not- endogenic systems can have just as many nuanced and complex identities regardless of whether or not they're dissociating. they're still multiple people whether or not you see them that way. they also have complex identities, why wouldn't they? being different people leads to a lot of complexity. you should still see them as multiple people even if you don't think it's legit. that's basic respect for another person who, again, literally hasn't hurt you.

also endogenic and non dissociative systems are still people, and we should still care about them. they're still people even if you don't agree with them, and again: they have not hurt you by virtue of existing.

hope that helps and makes sense. i am not open to changing my mind on this, but i appreciate you giving me a good reason to explain my stance on the matter. i don't have the right to police other people and tell them how their own brains work. you don't have that right, either. i'm not here to police anyone. that goes against everything i stand for. i don't gatekeep.

i'm not a cop.

[madpunks]

endogenic systems are still people- i don't care if you disagree on whether or not that plurality exist without trauma, they're literally still people. you don't have any excuse or reason to treat another person/s like shit or dehumanize them because you disagree with them. non-dissociative plurals are still people and you should treat them with respect.

[madpunks]

btw 'syscourse' and plural infighting isn't accomplishing anything. back in the late 90s and early 2000s, the only communities and resources for plurals that were widely available were for and by non-traumagenic systems. the only people who were advocating for normalizing and accepting plurality on a large scale were non-traumagenic systems. if you did research into plurality 10 - 15 years ago, most of the results that came up would have been experiences written by spiritual and natural plurals.

many people at the time were expressing their dislike of forcing every single plural to identify as if they had trauma- many found this insulting to themselves, and rightfully so! no one should be forced to identify in a way they don't agree with just to rightfully be a part of a community they already occupy. this obsession with "you can only be plural if you have trauma" has only come about extremely recently. i found out about plurality through the otherkin community. i was actually told about DID by someone in the spiritual plurality community. people don't seem to understand that most non-traumagenic systems have respect for traumagenic systems and don't gatekeep their spaces to prevent us from entering.

older plural spaces on the web like healthymultiplicity accepted all plurals. the goal of the community was to show that you can live as plural and not have it be a tragedy or something to "fix". if anything, folks with dissociative disorders owe a LOT to non-traumagenic systems for pushing to normalize plurality without implying that we HAVE to integrate our headmates and try to stop being plural. a huge part of the early online plural community was there to push that plurals can and do live happy lives and shouldn't view their plurality as a bad thing

it's not going to make singlet society see us in a better light. it's not going to get people to understand plurality better. it's not going to get us better mental health resources. it's not going to improve the quality of care for dissociative and traumagenic systems. all you're doing is bullying someone else that you don't understand simply because you don't agree with them.

you're not going to recover from your trauma or understand your own plurality better by denying the existence of other types of plurality. you're not "making the community safer" by gatekeeping. telling other people how their brains work is policing their identities. whether or not you want to accept it, if you forcefully kick endos out of plural spaces, you are the cop you claim to hate.

fighting with people on your own team will never net you a victory. to every other dissociative and traumagenic system: endos are on your side. you are wearing the same jersey. you are made of the same flesh and blood. enough. come together to share your similarities instead of fighting over differences. celebrate the diversity that plurality offers. don't take someone else's identity personally. someone can share the space with you without having to match exactly how you identify. diversity is what makes a community thrive.

[madpunks]

I really appreciate your support of endo systems as someone who is (maybe) pural and non-traumagenic. Its genuinely so lovely to hear, I've never gotten the people who say endo systems are bad. Brains do things strangely, and I adore my headmates. They are my people, even if most of them don't speak to me much. So thanks, I love my system, and how I am, its always good to hear someone stand up for, and support, myself and those I care about

hello!

i agree, i don't understand folks who say that endogenic, natural, spiritual and other non-traumagenic systems are bad. y'all are literally just existing. it comes across as virtue signalling, as if someone is trying to show how much they support dissociatives by doing something that harms all plurals. like, you can't prove or disprove whether or not another person is plural. there's no definitive way to tell whether or not that's what someone else is experiencing, why bother getting upset about it?

i'm glad you have your system, and that you love being who you are! you don't deserve to get shit on just because you're walking through life in the way that makes sense to you. its your life/lives, it's your choice/s to make. saying "there are multiple people living in my head with me" will not cause real damage to anyone or anything. that's up to you to figure out

you're welcome, as someone with DID, i just really do not like the concept of policing other people's brains. every plural with DID has a completely different experience than the person with DID next to them. every plural has a wildly unique experience because brains really can just do that. someone shouldn't have to be forced into viewing their plurality as inherently disordered in order to be seen as valid.

besides like, the reason other terms were created was to respect dissociative and traumagenic systems' needs and space like... that's why other terms were created. because people didn't wanna speak on experiences they don't know about. that's extremely respectful. if anything, i'd say that's a major indicator that most endogenic systems do not want to step on dissociatives' toes, and this is how people respond to their efforts to remain respectful. it needs to stop

[madpunks]

Very random but wanted to thank you for jumping in to defend systems who don't have a dissociative disorder!!

We're a system with a /lot/ of trauma, and we believe it may be tied some part of our plurality (and overall trans identity, for that matter) but we certainly don't experience anything akin to DID or OSDD and it always makes us very nervous, since people love to hate on systems like that. We're just trying to exist, too.

So thank you, for defending us.

of course! i'm happy to hear that it's made an impact!

you know that's another good point to be made, is some systems have trauma... but not a dissociative disorder. people with severe trauma can and do dissociate without it becoming a dissociative disorder on its own. and even if you don't dissociate, trauma can still make being multiple people in one body a very valid way to cope with that trauma. trauma is super complex and complicated. it shouldn't be discredited as something that can affect someone's life this strongly. it doesn't have to be recognized as a dissociative disorder in order to be happening

like, there are a lot of experiences that occupy the gap between PTSD and DID. mental health is not black and white. and i have to reiterate that disagreeing with how someone identifies is literally not the same as them attacking you and it never will be. i CANNOT get over this. i do not understand why people think that just because they DISAGREE with how someone else identifies that that person is somehow a threat to them, or mocking them. it's not your goddamn business. that plural's plurality is their business, not anyone else's

anyways, i'm glad you feel a bit more seen. exactly what you said: you're just trying to exist. you're not doing this to hurt anyone or insult anyone. trauma itself can cause dissociation. ptsd can cause dissociation. it doesn't have to be a full blown dissociative disorder. the plural doesn't have to dissociate *at all*. everyone's brains are wired differently. you can't expect something as complex as a human brain to fall into neat boxes. it just doesn't work like that. take care of yourselves, if you need any help feel free to let us know!

[madpunks]

We're appreciating these pro-endo posts as an endogenic, especially the fact you account for traumatized endogenics (we at least notice "usually" and other such words in a lot of posts, and were taught at a young age how to analyze shit because of being autistic) so like...thanks. :)

Hopefully y'all are okay, anti-endos are really showing their asses this time in your asks. And we hope everyone else realizes they have always been that bigoted.

hey of course, thanks for sending this ask!

yeah i don't know why people don't understand that endogenic systems can... also have trauma. like. endogenic doesn't mean 100% free from trauma. anyone can have trauma. trauma doesn't always manifest in the most extreme forms possible like dissociative disorders. like i cannot stress enough that dissociative disorders are a very specific kind of plurality, and should NOT be used as a metric to gauge whether or not someone's plural experience is legitimate or not. the diagnostic criteria for dissociative disorders is so painfully restrictive that a lot of people who probably do have a dissociative disorder don't get the diagnosis because it's so fucking specific

and again, i just want to stress that endogenic systems literally are not hurting anyone. you are not spitting in my face or talking over me as a system with DID. you are being respectful by using a term that suits your experience way better. like idk how that is offensive to people. endogenic systems developed a term to express a specific type of plurality. that's not trying to mock or ape on dissociative plurality. it's not an attempt to talk over dissociatives. it's creating an entirely new conversation that needs to be had

people getting upset about endogenic systems are creating mountains out of mole hills. it is quite literally a nothing burger of a problem. there IS no problem. nothing wrong is even happening. like i cannot overstate how fucking annoying it is when other dissociatives decide its time to get on their high horses and act as if they're suddenly experts on psychology and mental health. like it really pisses me off when other plurals with dissociative disorders decide the entire plural community is about them. the dissociative disorder communities are about plurals with dissociative disorders. specifically. you can still occupy spaces made for people with DID, OSDD and so on and leave endogenics alone and the world will keep turning. the sun will rise tomorrow regardless.

learn to mind your own goddamn business if you can't respect that other people experience the world differently than you do. maybe, just maybe, the dissociatives who are intentionally going out of their way to mock and harass endogenic systems are the fucking problem, here. you don't get to be a fucking bully just because you have trauma. you don't get to attack and hurt people who haven't hurt you just because you were abused. that's literally fucking perpetuating the cycle of abuse. if you think to yourself that because you are traumatized, that it's okay to take your anger out on people who have no trauma, you seriously need to reassess your life. what does that do for you? temporary catharsis? a rush of dopamine that lasts mere seconds? chasing the high of harassing strangers will not undo what was done to you in the past.

as a dissociative- i only understand what dissociative plurality is like. i do not understand other forms of plurality. and you know what? i don't find the fact that other types of plurality existing offensive to me. it's just not. i've been very close friends with so many endogenic, spiritual, natural, etc. systems out there over the years. i have never found it offensive for anyone to say "oh hey i'm plural too!" and then explain a different plural experience than the one i have. thats why the term plural even exists, because it encompasses a broad range of plural experiences, not just dissociative ones.

like, to the dissociatives who are pissed off that endos exist: literally stay in dissociative disorder-centric spaces and tags. they're right there. you HAVE a community that you can interact with who understand exactly what you're going through. if it offends you that you find a VARIETY of plural experiences in the general plural community- that community isn't for you. like seriously. if it offends you that deeply that other types of plurality exist- the general plural community is not for you. it's literally not made for you if you can't except that numerous types of plurality exist. you have spaces you can occupy that ARE made 100% for people just like you. you can quite literally stay in spaces made for dissociative plurals only. like. you can do that. that's an option. and you can stop bullying other people out of spaces that they rightfully belong in.

trauma is never excuse to be a fucking jackass. it's perpetuating the cycle of abuse. that's nothing to be proud of. break the cycle. stop abusing people just because you were abused.

[madpunks]

disabled intersex trans lesbian needs help saving up for rent!

hello there, my name is Equinox, i'm a severely disabled intersex trans lesbian who deals with hypermobile ehlers danlos, arthritis, schizophrenia, IBS and other health issues. i cannot work a conventional job due to my health conditions. i sell jewelry & write zines about queerness and other topics as my primary form of income, as i'm currently waiting on my application for disability payments to go through

my rent is only $178/month due to my housing being subsidized, so fortunately i do not need to save up much

if you are interested, you can find these items and a lot more on my Ko-fi shop!

thanks for reading and helping!

[madpunks]

disabled intersex trans lesbian needs help saving up for rent!

hello there, my name is Equinox, i'm a severely disabled intersex trans lesbian who deals with hypermobile ehlers danlos, arthritis, schizophrenia, IBS and other health issues. i cannot work a conventional job due to my health conditions. i sell jewelry & write zines about queerness and other topics as my primary form of income, as i'm currently waiting on my application for disability payments to go through

my rent is only $178/month due to my housing being subsidized, so fortunately i do not need to save up much

if you are interested, you can find these items and a lot more on my Ko-fi shop!

thanks for reading and helping!

[madpunks]

disabled intersex trans lesbian needs help saving up for rent!

hello there, my name is Equinox, i'm a severely disabled intersex trans lesbian who deals with hypermobile ehlers danlos, arthritis, schizophrenia, IBS and other health issues. i cannot work a conventional job due to my health conditions. i sell jewelry & write zines about queerness and other topics as my primary form of income, as i'm currently waiting on my application for disability payments to go through

my rent is only $178/month due to my housing being subsidized, so fortunately i do not need to save up much

if you are interested, you can find these items and a lot more on my Ko-fi shop!

thanks for reading and helping!

[madpunks]

disabled intersex trans lesbian needs help saving up for rent!

hello there, my name is Equinox, i'm a severely disabled intersex trans lesbian who deals with hypermobile ehlers danlos, arthritis, schizophrenia, IBS and other health issues. i cannot work a conventional job due to my health conditions. i sell jewelry & write zines about queerness and other topics as my primary form of income, as i'm currently waiting on my application for disability payments to go through

my rent is only $178/month due to my housing being subsidized, so fortunately i do not need to save up much

if you are interested, you can find these items and a lot more on my Ko-fi shop!

thanks for reading and helping!

[madpunks]

disabled intersex trans lesbian needs help saving up for rent!

hello there, my name is Equinox, i'm a severely disabled intersex trans lesbian who deals with hypermobile ehlers danlos, arthritis, schizophrenia, IBS and other health issues. i cannot work a conventional job due to my health conditions. i sell jewelry & write zines about queerness and other topics as my primary form of income, as i'm currently waiting on my application for disability payments to go through

my rent is only $178/month due to my housing being subsidized, so fortunately i do not need to save up much

if you are interested, you can find these items and a lot more on my Ko-fi shop!

thanks for reading and helping!

[madpunks]

disabled intersex trans lesbian needs help saving up for rent!

hello there, my name is Equinox, i'm a severely disabled intersex trans lesbian who deals with hypermobile ehlers danlos, arthritis, schizophrenia, IBS and other health issues. i cannot work a conventional job due to my health conditions. i sell jewelry & write zines about queerness and other topics as my primary form of income, as i'm currently waiting on my application for disability payments to go through

my rent is only $178/month due to my housing being subsidized, so fortunately i do not need to save up much

if you are interested, you can find these items and a lot more on my Ko-fi shop!

thanks for reading and helping!

[madpunks]

disabled intersex trans lesbian needs help saving up for rent!

hello there, my name is Equinox, i'm a severely disabled intersex trans lesbian who deals with hypermobile ehlers danlos, arthritis, schizophrenia, IBS and other health issues. i cannot work a conventional job due to my health conditions. i sell jewelry & write zines about queerness and other topics as my primary form of income, as i'm currently waiting on my application for disability payments to go through

my rent is only $178/month due to my housing being subsidized, so fortunately i do not need to save up much

if you are interested, you can find these items and a lot more on my Ko-fi shop!

thanks for reading and helping!

[madpunks]

disabled intersex trans lesbian needs help saving up for rent!

hello there, my name is Equinox, i'm a severely disabled intersex trans lesbian who deals with hypermobile ehlers danlos, arthritis, schizophrenia, IBS and other health issues. i cannot work a conventional job due to my health conditions. i sell jewelry & write zines about queerness and other topics as my primary form of income, as i'm currently waiting on my application for disability payments to go through

my rent is only $178/month due to my housing being subsidized, so fortunately i do not need to save up much

if you are interested, you can find these items and a lot more on my Ko-fi shop!

thanks for reading and helping!

[madpunks]

equinox here! i wanted to make a masterpost for my zines! if you haven't checked them out already, we write zines about queer history with some resources and statistics within, as well as anecdotes from my 32 years being a genderqueer transsexual butch dyke. i am also intersex and speak about my experience with medical intersexism and prejudice toward androgynous and gender vague people.

if you are interested, the help would go a long way, as i deal with psoriatic arthritis, hypermobile ehlers danlos syndrome, degenerative disc disease, GI issues, schizophrenia, DID and other health issues. i'm currently applying for disability but it takes quite a while to get approved in the US. all proceeds go towards my monthly rent, bills, and necessities. thank you for your support!