#big garlic

[beachtoosandytranscripts]

2: Hotels in Kansas City, MO

Welcome to Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet. A podcast featuring real reviews written by people who just need the world to know what they think. Between you and me, I wanted to like this podcast, but I'd give it zero stars if I could.

Hello everybody, welcome back to Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet, the podcast where we read the worst reviews in the most dramatic fashion. I'm Christine.

And I'm Alex.

And this week's theme is hotels in Kansas City, Missouri, or Missouri as the locals say.

And us. We're not locals.

And me after a gin and tonic. So we're gonna read our reviews, and then afterward, we're gonna see if I was able to step up to Alexander's Challenge from last week. So stay tuned.

All right. So I'm excited to see what you came up with.

We'll see. We'll see if it's any good. I had a tough time with this one.

But I did find a doozy. This is a review of the Elms Hotel and Spa in Kansas City, Missouri.

Was it like a nice place, or is this like a rundown?

I believe it's quite a nice location. And we do wanna stress again that this is not, we have no feelings for or against any of these locations. This is just some fun stuff we find on the internet and we're just rebroadcasting it.

Let's put it that way. This is a one-star review from Annette.

Went there for our 25th anniversary. As we were heading to the front desk, I noticed a plate of uncovered strawberries sitting on the floor.

By the way, really quick...

Wait, on the floor?

Really quick interjection. Every time I say strawberries, take a drink, because you're going to have a really riot of an evening if you do so. Uh-oh.

Ask about the room. They're at capacity, but gave us a breakfast coupon. He also explained that someone was on their way up to our room with our anniversary package.

OK, head to the room. Strawberries are still on the floor. Pout in my room for about 45 minutes.

Oh, OK, I need to figure this out.

So it took me a while to figure out.

So they walk into the lobby and there are strawberries on the floor. They walk into their room.

So they're walking toward their room and they find strawberries, a plate of strawberries outside of someone else's room.

Oh, and then they go inside their room and find no strawberries in their room. Am I mishearing?

OK, I'm we're heading to the front desk, I assume, from their hotel room. They notice a plate of uncovered strawberries on the floor in the hallway. So then the person and they're there for their anniversary, you know.

So then the person at the front desk says, oh, someone's going to come up with your like anniversary special surprise soon. Right. So she's like, oh, they got strawberries.

So she's like, I better get strawberries. It's the 25th. That's a strawberry anniversary.

Yes. Famously so. Um, so she pouts.

Pout in my room for about 45 minutes and decide to hit the pool. Head down to the pool. Strawberries haven't moved.

My nose starts bleeding and I have my husband grab a pool towel as I didn't want to drip in the pool. So so kind. Go to the front desk, give them my towel, letting them know I'd used it on my bloody nose.

They gave it to the clerk at the front. What are they supposed to do?

That didn't even turn into an issue. I thought that was going to be that. Yeah, that just was part of the routine.

Does it carry through the lobby? Here's my bloody towel. Yep.

My nose was bleeding. While there, I asked if we were supposed to get strawberries with our package, as they hadn't brought any up with them. He said he thought there was a mix up, but he talked to the manager.

On the way back to the room, strawberries were still there. This time, there was a piece of paper with them. So I decided to see what the paper said.

So she reads this note. It was a note thanking them for booking the anniversary package. Sit in the room a while.

Pretty disappointed. Finally, I decided to rinse the chlorine off.

And get dressed up for dinner. As we pass, the strawberries are still sitting there. I stopped by the desk to see what he found out.

He apologized and said he would personally take them to our room. At the time, I let him know about the strawberries. He thought I mentioned something because they were taunting us.

Okay, this is going very differently than what I expected. I thought it was going to be some sort of allergy thing, where she's like, oh, no, there's open strawberries. Bloody Nose made me like, oh, maybe she's like realizing she's allergic.

The Bloody Nose has nothing to do with anything. That never comes back.

I'm going to learn. But right now I'm going into these thinking that they're sensical.

And I don't know why. You're going to understand the plot.

Yeah.

No, there's no plot.

Oh, good.

He thought I mentioned something because they were taunting us. I said, no, I'm telling you, because that's disgusting.

What?

And if they were mine, I'd be pissed because they were uncovered on the floor. Which, I mean, to be fair, yeah.

I mean, I don't know the timeline, but this seems like a long time that they've been sitting there.

She's pouted for 45 minutes in the room alone.

That's right. She gave us a timeline.

He said, maybe the people didn't want them. I told him about the note I read.

Oh, no.

And he said they were training a new person, and he must have not understood where their strawberries were supposed to go. I told him that we were going out, and to put our strawberries on our desk, we came back later to find them covered on the desk. The strawberries were very good.

That's the end of the review.

Wait, wait, wait, wait. Was that a one-star review? Are you kidding me?

I mean, they dealt with her bloody towel. They put covered strawberries on the desk. I don't know what the complaint is, but apparently Annette did not have a great time.

Like literally everything she wanted happened.

I mean, I think she was jealous of the neighbors.

My goodness. That makes a lot of sense.

Yeah, I know. Wow, that was a long one.

Sorry, but that was a good one. You killed so many people saying strawberries so many times.

I did. Alcohol poisoning runs rampant.

Oh, yeah.

Anyway, what do you have for me here?

All right. Well, I kind of went similar route, not with the strawberries, but with a place that was kind of nice because I read some reviews of not so nice places that had mostly one star reviews. And I was like, yeah, I would give them one star too.

Yeah, it's not pretty. Hotel reviews on Yelp are not pretty, guys.

Well, that was, that was, I know many, many hotels in Kansas City to avoid. Well, I found a review of the Embassy Suites in Kansas City. From Sammy.

All right, Sammy.

Who was very disappointed.

Oh, no, Sammy.

Was very disappointed in the staff at the J Bar restaurant. We thought we would be going to an upscale restaurant slash bar, especially since the location is in an upscale area. And it is an Embassy Suite.

It is.

However, the staff all have tattoos. All over their arms. And one of the waitresses had nose, eyes and facial piercings.

She has eye piercing? All over her. She had eye piercings.

Those nose, eyes and facial piercings were all over her body. Yeah, she just put them willy nilly.

She was a Van Gogh painting.

Oh, yeah. Was very disappointed. Was hoping for the class of an embassy.

But got the staff of a low class bar.

What is wrong with people?

They just opened and we were so excited to frequent the J-Bar as we live close by. But we'll rethink. I hope they really think hard about who they hire.

Probably won't be back anytime soon.

Sammy.

End of review.

You will be missed.

Yeah, I know, right? Those staff, they're like.

Seems like he was a great customer to have.

That woman was like, he just kept staring at me and wouldn't say anything.

He was on Yelp on his phone, just like writing and counting my piercings.

This is the kind of guy that writes a review as he's sitting there being uncomfortable because somebody happens to have piercings.

And then tip zero dollars.

Well, I actually have a little bonus to that.

Thank God.

It was a response from the general manager.

Yes, what?

So they did a few paragraphs.

It's going to be a response from the woman with eye tattoos, eye piercings all over her body. But this is second best.

Yes, so they respond with a few paragraphs, but I'm just going to read the middle one. We encourage our servers to express themselves in the way they dress and their interactions with our guests.

Hell yeah.

We focus intently on a high level of service and allow our wait staff to impress our guests more with their service level and food quality. While the staff dress and appearance was an adjustment for me, I am old school. I have found that the energy level and enthusiasm that our staff has brought to the concept is exhilarating.

Oh, I know I like that.

I thought he was going to say exemplary and then he said exhilarating.

No, he's exhilarated. He's like, whoa, I've never seen that many piercings. I mean, I've only been to Kansas City once, but you know, hey, maybe he hasn't seen that many piercings in his life.

And we're a little spoiled. We get to see him all the time here in LA.

That's right. Eye piercings all over the place, truly.

Oh, yeah. Every part of the body. And we embrace it.

Eye piercings in the belly button, eye piercings on the arms, all over. Well, that was beautiful. And also, I feel vindicated on behalf of that weight staff, you know?

Yeah, no, I thought that was nice. And then they did give a little bit of an apology that they were uncomfortable. But at the end, I think the general manager said something like, we hope that you change your views.

Yeah, we hope you don't come back, but change your views.

Yeah, exactly.

Oh, my God. Should we tell them about the time we went to that steak house in Kansas? Was it in Kansas City or where was it?

It might have been either Kansas City or like Omaha.

Or somewhere in Kansas. I don't think it was in Missouri. I think it was in Kansas.

We went to a steakhouse on a road trip and I was like, well, I'm in leggings. I should change out. We're going to this nice steakhouse that was on TV food maps, which is a cool website if you haven't checked it out.

Yeah, because it was on. What show was it on?

Diner's? No, that's wrong. Guy Fieri.

And Fieri had nothing to do with it.

I love me some good guy.

I'm not doing that. I don't think he does that either, does he?

No, I think that's just become a weird meme, a vocal meme. You know those. So we went to a steakhouse.

I don't remember what show had been on, but we went to the steakhouse and I was like, well, I'm in leggings. I should change. So I put on like some nice clothes and we walk in.

The first thing I see is a family wearing Mickey Mouse pajama bottoms.

No, Minnie Mouse.

Sorry, you're right. Flannel Minnie Mouse pajamas. And then our server, I mean, they were perfectly nice, but the server says, oh, I'll go get your bread basket.

And she sets down a basket full of saltine crackers on the table. And we thought, did we misunderstand? And boy, was that a culture shock.

Yeah, we were from Ohio, and even we were shocked.

Yeah, that's right.

But the food was pretty delicious.

It was good. But the bread bowl is made of crackers. So if you go there, be warned.

Yeah, Sammy, please avoid that place.

You will not feel right at home in his pajama bottoms.

I guess so.

Very wholesome, you know?

Yeah, I got a piercing is too much. But yeah, he's probably a yeah, a Disney fan.

All right, so let's move on to my challenge.

Yes, I gave you a challenge, and that was to find a review of a baseball stadium that mentioned a football team. When I thought when I was thinking about this, I was like, this seems like something that she wouldn't care about at all and wouldn't really know. It felt like a challenge.

I love sports.

I know you know, I know you're we're big Bengals.

It was a challenge. I will tell you that.

I feel like that would be a challenge.

I was kind of actually really pissed at you when I was researching this.

Oh, I figured.

Yeah, it was really fucking hard. And I was on Wikipedia looking up like cities that have MLB and NFL teams. So I could like Google the stadium and then like search the Yelp reviews for the team.

It was very complicated.

I was hoping you wouldn't take the easy way out and find a stadium that where the team is playing both. Because I think that's a thing.

Yeah, it is. And I did stumble upon that. That's not what I did, though.

And also those weren't great anyway.

So you did try to take the easy way out. I see.

Oh, I mean, I don't know why that's a shock to you, to be honest. But yes, I always try to take the easy way out. Unfortunately, I could not.

So this week, I discovered my new friend, Monty. Yeah, Monty.

This guy's something about that name. I like it. But at the same time, it sounds like the kind of guy that you don't want to read his reviews of baseball stadiums.

Oh, boy, do you. This is Monty's review of AT&T Park, home of the San Francisco Giants. Now, this is a little twist.

It is a five star review.

Oh, I did not expect which is acceptable. We allow that in the challenges.

I'm really glad we didn't like limit ourselves to only one service because I feel like some of the five stars are even fucking fantastic. Oh, no, I was going to say batshit crazy.

Oh, OK.

I guess we can go. Yeah.

I mean, for what we do, it's fantastic.

Fantastic indeed. So this is a five star review of AT&T Park, home of the San Francisco Giants. Disclaimer.

Oh, this is already Monty's.

Oh, my gosh. Yeah, I was going to say, is he really putting a disclaimer on my disclaimer?

The Giants are my family.

I love them. First of all, duh, garlic fries. Oh, by the way, you should imagine that every other word is all capital letters.

First of all, duh, garlic fries. For the love of God. Secondly, it's not as cold as frickin candlestick.

The location is fantastic. The upper levels have beautiful views of the bay. There's not a bad seat in the house.

Splash hits bury frickin bonds. The freak can hit shaboigans. Oh, did I say garlic fries?

What year was this from?

He needs to see a doctor.

It's like so many like things in there that that just make me think that it's like at least 20 years old as a review.

I have a headache just reading this. Wi-Fi throughout the park. The fans are not Raider loving lookers.

No, no siree.

Ding ding ding Raiders. The Coke bottle slide. It's an SF for Pete's sake.

Garlic fries.

It's a what? An FS?

It's in, it's in SF.

I thought it was FS like freaking slide like.

It's a FS, you know, a freaking slide. It's in SF for Pete's sake. Garlic fries, garlic fries, garlic fries.

Why am I even explaining this to you? Just go! Monty.

How do you, oh my gosh. Did you have any like idea of how old this man is?

Yeah, I clicked on his profile, obviously.

Of course.

He's probably in his 30s. I'm not kidding.

Okay, I expected at least 60.

Guess what? Every single one of his reviews, he reviewed a taco place, some restaurants, a bank. They're all five star reviews with a lot of, like I've never seen someone use so many exclamation points.

And then there was one, one star review.

Oh my gosh. What was it?

Home Depot.

Of all places.

And it said, if you enjoy having to look for something and having no one help you, this is the place for you.

That's it?

There was like one other line.

I mean, that seems so not Monty.

I feel like he might have been having a bad day, but if you know Monty as well as I do, you know that he's a good guy. He's a he has ups and downs, but like mostly he's up, up, up, up, way higher than everyone else.

Oh, yeah. I mean, that's good. It makes up for those lows when he says that the home deep, local Home Depot wasn't great, wasn't up to his par, you know.

I have a feeling you bookmark this like his profile for future episodes because you're ready to use Monty again.

I can tell. 100 percent. He had a lot to say and a lot of it was was fucking fantastic, bad shit, crazy.

And you got to remember the Giants Air's family. So that's obviously part of it, too.

It shouldn't be. I mean, well, OK, it should be.

But it's a disclaimer. Just take it or leave it.

That was such a what I think. I don't understand that. Is that him saying he's biased because he likes the Giants?

So therefore he's automatically giving a five star reviews review like them.

He's related to them.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. He loves them.

So he's biased unconditionally. But I feel like the review was about the garlic fries, not about the team at all.

I mean, I think that was his attempt at subliminal messaging. Oh, even though I, you know, it's weird.

He works for like Big Garlic or something.

You know, it's weird. I must have been hungry doing this because I just realized that strawberries and garlic fries were repeated at least 15 times each.

That's a good point.

And none of what we've talked about has had anything to do with food. We picked hotels, not even restaurants. We picked baseball and football.

Yeah, I clearly have. Oh, wait, I just realized what my next challenge is.

Oh, my goodness. You know what? I don't even know if I want to know.

Oh, my God. This is so messed up. I was clearly not in the right headspace or the best headspace.

Who knows? You want to hear your challenge?

I think first we should do a little spiel.

Do the spiel.

You can find us on Instagram and Twitter at Beach Too Sandy, on Facebook at Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet. Our website is beachtoosandy.com.

You can listen to us on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, Google Play, wherever you listen to podcasts. And please rate, review and subscribe if you have not yet. That really helps us.

And we're looking for Monty reviews here, like five star.

Full Monty.

Go full Monty.

If you will.

Oh, man, that was good.

Thank you. I'm really funny. You know, send us your thoughts, your desires.

If you have a request for a certain topic or theme or challenge, let us know.

Yeah, let us know where you live and what kind of businesses are in the area that you have opinions about.

Your social security number, your address, all the good stuff.

Everything, everything that we deserve.

Thank you.

All right. Let's how about we announce what the theme for next week is and the challenge?

Oh, OK, sure. Do you have the OK. So who goes first?

I'll give you the theme.

Sure. What's the theme?

So the theme for next week is car washes in Minneapolis, Minnesota.

All right. I'm pumped for that.

I think that's I don't know car washes.

I feel like that's a good one because I feel like hotels, you get a lot of bedbugs. And so it's hard to sift through that car washes. You can go all sorts of directions.

Oh, yeah.

OK, you ready for your challenge?

I mean, after I gave you that one, probably not. I don't I don't deserve anything fun and good.

Probably good because this is what I have for you. This is your challenge. Please find a review of a barbecue joint written by a vegan.

Oh, my gosh.

Or how about we narrow it to the barbecue and vegans? And then if it's just so much like if you just can't find anything, then you can expand it a little bit if you want.

No.

OK. Oh, you're going to take the full challenge.

Yeah. I'm taking the full Monte.

OK, great.

All right.

All right. Thanks, guys, for listening. Episode three is out, so go check that out.

And then we're going to be releasing weekly.

Yeah, thanks, everyone.

[definetelynotavampire]

[fullmoonfireball]

big garlic 👍🧄 like if you agree

[musubiki]

🎂 birthday time 🎂

[stubz]

"Remember to check with a teacher or one of the gardeners before eating what you pick from the gardens." calls out teacher Max.

The youngling centre was on a field trip visiting the ships indoor public garden that grows both flowers and vegetables from a variety of different planets. Younglings took joy in sharing and showing their friends vegetables and plants from their own respective planet. Even the teachers, Max and Kim, were happy to tell them about earth's plants.

"Wow, what's that Emira?"

"It's a glass flower!" she chirps holding up a beautiful flower with the petals and stem translucent. "They're my favorite flower!"

"So pretty! Can you...eat it!" the human grins.

"No!" the avian giggles. "You can't eat it! But my Maemae says you can use the roots for tea that helps tummy aches."

"I'll have to remember that." he nods, wearing an utmost serious and thoughtful face. The nearby gardeners chuckle.

"You should!"

"I shall-!"

"TEACHER MAAAX!!"

All heads whip to the south of the garden. At the very end of it is Ezshi screaming and waving their little tail and arms frantically. Beside them is Pollix, Zyz, and Tarlak huddling around a Kim kneeling on the ground grabbing her throat.

"Mr Max you stay h-" the gardeners watched as the human sprinted as fast he could to the other side of the gardens. Seconds later the younglings followed suit with Emira leading them, flapping her little wings as fast as she can.

"KIM! KIM WHAT'S WRONG?!" he skids to a stop beside her grabbing her shoulders to examine her.

The human shakes her head, face red, opens her mouth to speak only to go into a coughing fit. Her right hand at her throat, her left pounding her chest.

"What happened?? Did you eat something?? Kids what did she eat?!" later he'll apologize for shouting but right now he can't help it. Right now he's going through every lesson he's had about what to do when one eats something harmful/unknown to their species.

"I-I don't know! Tarlak gave it to her!" Zyz cries, tears streaming down their little snout.

"Tarlak, buddy, what did you give her??" the little Simia's lips quiver as he stares at the still hacking Kim.

"Tarlak, focus. What did you give her? What planet plot was it from?" Max grabs his shoulders, making him look solely at him and not Kim.

"...earth...it-it was from earth. This." he hands over a half eaten white plant bulb.

"...Kim's fine kids." he sighs flopping over onto the dirt. The adrenaline immediately leaving his body.

"What! What is it?!" they all cry.

"It's garlic."

For a moment there is silence save for some sighs of relief from the human children. And then.

"GET THE RED BAG!"

"CALL THE GARDENERS!"

"SHE'S GONNA DIEEE!"

All the younglings scream and wail. Most like Emira, however, simply cling to the human silently crying.

"...what?! Kids! She's not dying."

" 'm not...dying." Kim rasps, finally done coughing.

"Garlic is poison! It's how my Maemae's uncle died!" Emira wails.

"I heard one garlic clove can kill a hundred rextalians!" Ezshi frets.

"What are you talking abo...oooh. Thiosulfate."

"Thio-whatnow?" Kim coughs, spitting out a piece of garlic she frees from her cheek.

"Reason why most animals can't eat garlic and onions. Including most other non-earth species."

"...Oooh! Okay learning time! Listen up kids. Humans can eat garlic! Got it? Humans can eat garlic and other foods like garlic, our body breaks it down and stuff."

"But you choked and your face turned red!"

"Because the taste is very strong. It's like lemons. Basically I took a giant bite out of a lemon."

"...Ooooh!" cries out the younglings now understanding that their teacher is not dying.

"Wait why did you take a giant bite out of garlic?" laughs Max.

"I didn't know if was garlic or an onion and Tarlak's dad uses onions for to make a bug repellent...don't judge me I've never seen garlic in that shape before!"

"Why didn't you ask a gardener?"

"They're all the way on the other side of the field! Just-shush!"

"I'm never letting you live this down. Now help me stop the human kids from doing some kind of garlic challenge. I see Anthony and Piper eyeing them."

[fisherrprince]

mmm… noodle….

[tetedurfarm]

we look normal now

[gentlebeardsbarngrill]

06/29/2024 - 06/30/2024 Daily OFMD Recap

TLDR; Rhys Darby; Taika Waititi; Guz Khan; Vico Ortiz; Rachel House; How To Fuck Off With Con O'Neill: CW; AdoptOurCrew Charity Raffle Update; Gold Derby Voting; Fan Spotlight: Cast Cards; Our Flag Means Fanfiction; Big Gay Energy Podcast; Teal Oranges & Garlic Soup Week; Love Notes; Daily Darby/Today's Taika

== Rhys Darby ==

Quick sighting of Rhys with Kirk Thatcher and another commercial for FFXIV!

Source: kirkrthatcher's Instagram

Source: FFXIV's Instagram

== Taika Waititi ==

Quick shot of Taika and Rita with Andy Hernden!

Source: Andyhernden's Instagram

= Guz Khan =

A shot of Guz with Mark Silcox-- apparently this is a hint at Season 5 of Guz' show Man Like Mobeen!

Source: Guz Khan Official Twitter

== Vico Ortiz ==

Lots more sightings of Vico out and about!

Source: Vico Ortiz Instagram

== Rachel House ==

Yet another chat show with Rachel house!

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by The Last Video Store (@lastvideostorebetoota)

Source: The Last Video Store instagram

CW: Con O'Neill in Underwear under the cut.

== How to Fuck Off w/ Con O'Neill ==

Many of our crewmates attended the Momentus class with Con O'Neill on Saturday! When Samba did his cooking class, the video was released to youtube a week or so later so hopefully this one will be too. I did try to transcribe some of the information, if it is quoted it should be word for word minus uhms. Non quoted is paraphrased. This was 3 hours long if you did the meet and greet so I've only added what I was able to get through. If I have time I'll transcribe more.

Con showed up on camera with no pants on

Re Izzy: When David approached him, Izzy was just a thought, a husk yet to be formed

David saw Izzy as a Salieri from Amadeus, or Iago (from Othello)

Con "Agreed with David" but also "saw [Izzy] as a man desperately, painfully in love. So his passion, and his anger, and his fear and his love, all erupted in his expletives, i loved him from the off, I loved his directness, I loved his fearlessness, pain, and of course his fabulous use of profanities"

Con then taught the class how to do various types of "fucks" "shits", "twats" etc.

Some fun quotes:

"A happy shit is one with a smile"

"A sad shit is one you say with a frown"

"Everyone give me an orgasmic twat"

Some Transcribed BTS Info:

"In Season 1 I was terrified of ad-libbing, improv, which I've said many times. We had great writers and everything we needed was on the page-- Except for the day 'Daddy' came to visit."

"I have no idea where that line came from, no idea which part of my dark perverted psyche it erupted from but as soon as it was out, it was out."

"In Season 2, again, everything I needed was on the page, our writers are/were will always be spectacular, they gave Izzy such beautiful stuff, and I will be forever grateful to them, to David Jenkins, to the whole cast and crew, and to you all for your continued support."

"But towards the end of the shoot, we were filming the tavern scene with me and Erroll, aka Ricky and it was the 'belonging to something' which was so beautifully written it took my breath away."

"And we shot many many takes, and I was tired, and emotional, and I knew we had it nearly. There was something missing. There was a beat, a moment to end what was really Izzy's epitaph. And then-- our brilliant director Fernando came up to me and he whispered in my ear 'we'll do one more take, let him go' and we started the take and I could feel myself getting emotional."

"This was Izzy's big moment, it had to be right, it had to be right, and then as we reached this final line, instead of what was written, I heard Izzy say: 'and you are a rancid syphilitic cunt' and to my dying day, I will never ever understand how we got that on the telly, but we did because sometimes in life only a rancid syphillitic cunt will suffice."

== Adopt Our Crew Pride Month Charity Raffle Update ==

Well done everyone! $7041.72 was raised for 148 LGBTQ+ charities around the world! Thank you so much to @adoptourcrew for all the wonderful work they did and all our crewmates for all the donated art, writing, crafts, etc to make this happen!

Source: Adopt Our Crew's Twitter

== Gold Derby Voting ==

Rhys, Taika, and Our Flag Means Death are up for some more nominations-- this time the Gold Derby for best Comedy Series / Comedy Actors! It does require you to sign up, but if you'd like to add to the nominations you can follow this handy guide:

Thank you to @adoptourcrew for sharing the goldderby information!

Source: AdoptOurCrew's Twitter

== Fan Spotlight ==

= Cast Cards =

More cast cards from our dear @melvisik!

Simone Grace: "Tonight's is another Emmy submission "for Outstanding Period Costumes in a Series for Impossible Birds" - @adoptourcrew"

Francesco Toby: "Credited as Jean Luc, the beret-wearing French sailor in Pete's story."

Source: @melvisik's Twitter

= OFMD Colouring Pages! =

Once again our kind and wonderful friend @PatchworkPirateBear has more colouring pages for Pride month! Hosted by @adoptourcrew! Wanna following PatchworkPirateBear for more colouring pages? Visit their socials!:  Instagram / Twitter / Tumblr 

Source: AdoptOurCrew's Tumblr

= Our Flag Means Fanfiction =

There's a new episode by our lovely friends over at Our Flag Means Fanfiction! This time a ranking of the top 10 Rhys Darby moments by members of the Rhys Darby Faction! Visit https://linktr.ee/ofmff to pick out your favourite listening platform!

Source: Our Flag Means Fanfiction Instagram

== Big Gay Energy Pod ==

Another episode of Big Gay Energy Pod! This time covering Season 2 Episodes 5/6! Check them out on Youtube, or their https://linktr.ee/biggayenergypod!

Source: Big Gay Energy Pod Instagram

== Teal Oranges & Garlic Soup Week ==

As you may remember, our crewmates over at @garlicsoupweek have been hosting a wonderful prompt week for our favorite Polycule! I would love to do a much bigger fan spotlight, but I was only able to get permission from some of the artists to share-- so I'll do more if I can get more permissions from folks! You can also scroll through all the awesome art/writing/edits on @garlicsoupweek!

= OhTangerine=

First up is the absolute stunning work done by @ohtangerines on Instagram and here on tumblr! The faces, and background detail is just so amazing-- please visit them on instagram or here on tumblr to check out more of their awesome work! Check them out on the various socials on their carrd! https://ohtangerines.carrd.co/

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by 🍊Maria I. (@ohtangerines)

Source: @ohtangerines's Instagram

= Sonorawent =

Next up for Teal Oranges is our dear crewmate @sonorawent! Check out their incredibly gorgeous water colour of our Jim and Oluwande! I adore the colour blending! You can follow them on Twitter / Tumblr!

Source: sonorawent's Twitter

= Blackbeardskneebrace =

Our next artist spotlight is none other than the magnificent @blackbeardskneebrace! You may recognise them from their wide variety of artwork styles (medieval, peanuts, tradition, etc) whatever style they decide to create in -- they've gifted this fandom with such beautiful work! Please visit their tumblr, or their Ko-fi, or their twitter for more brilliant work!

Source: BlackbeardsKneeBrace's Tumblr

= _SilverSheep =

Next up on our fan spotlight for the evening is @_silversheep on twitter! This adorable rendition of Cambell's Soup has such cute details hidden in the label, I'm so glad she was kind enough to allow me to share it with you! You can check them out here on their twitter, or her https://linktr.ee/asisherright !

Source: _Silversheep's Twitter

= LibroseITM =

Back again is our absolutely lovely @libroseitm! They were kind enough to let me share this steamy scene with our Polycule for @garlicsoupweek based off of Sense8! Want to check out more of their work? Visit @libroseitm on Tumblr, or Twitter for more beautiful work from LIb!

Source: LibRoseITM's Twitter

= ipomoea-batatas =

Next in our fan spotlight is the briliiant @ipomoea-batatas! I cannot tell you how much I adore the detail on their work! Look at those faces, it's like looking at our dear Archie, Jim, and Olu in person! Capturing Olu's smile and excitement is no small feat too! Wanna check out more of their awesome OFMD art? Please visit their tumblr here on tumblr!

Source: ipomoea-batatas's Tumblr

= TheseAreTheKids =

Another incredibly talented crewmate - thesearethekids on twitter put together this very sweet cross-stitch pattern for our polycule! She was kind enough to make a downloadable PDF chart and put it up on her Ko-Fi as well so you can work on it yourself. Want to follow them for more cross stitch/embroidery fun? Visit their Twitter!

Source: TheseAreTheKids Twitter

= ErosTheArtist =

Back again with more artwork from the lovely @erostheartist! This time with our Polycule in the Teal Orange outfits! I love it! Love their work? Follow them here on tumblr, or on instagram/check out their https://linktr.ee/eros_the_artist!

Source: Eros The Artist Tumblr

== Love Notes ==

Hey there lovelies! I hope you had a wonderful weekend-- and an even better pride month! There has been so much queer joy this month-- and everyone's been celebrating being themselves and celebrating all the wonderful people around them-- and I'm so very happy so many of you have gotten to experience that. If you aren't out yet, or pride isn't your thing, or maybe this month is always tough on you, that's okay too. Your safety, and comfort is more important than anything, so please don't feel bad if you aren't experiencing that joy like others are. Just know that no matter what stage of your journey you are in-- your crew loves and cares for you. I wanted to send a gentle reminder, I know that after so much excitement, sometimes our brains can rebound a bit and go the same distance in the other direction. This is perfectly normal lovelies, so if you feel a bit sad tomorrow or the upcoming month, just remember to take it in stride. If you are feeling heavy feelings, remember to embrace them and acknowledge them, and let them go in your own time. No matter what gender, sexuality, or various degree of queer you are, or not queer at all, please know that you are so very loved crew. Truly truly loved. You are beautiful, and unique, and brilliant, and wonderful, and no one gets to say otherwise, okay?

Rest well lovelies, tomorrow is another day.

== Daily Darby / Today's Taika ==

Tonight's gif just exudes Last Day of Pride Month for me -- as well as running straight into July's Queer Wrath! Tonight's gif courtesy of the wonderful @edsrosetattoo!

[thecatspasta]

Ok but if you think about it anti self diagnosis stuff is so stupid sometimes

'Hey I have self dxed autism'

'You do not have autism bc a medical professional has not approved this and therefore you are not autistic'

Imagine if you applied that to smth like cancer and then that person later died of cancer. Hey if its not diagnosed then its not real and cant affect you so everyone who died of smth that they didnt get diagnosed obviously did not have that

You can see how thats stupid right?

[luck-of-the-drawings]

EPISODE 2 AND 3 HAVE BEEN SOOOO FUN im already so emotionally attached to each of these characters.. if anything bad ever happens to any of them im killing everyone and then everyone.

[sixofravens-reads]

the thing that gets me about the "must read 100 books a year Or Else" thing is that you just.... don't see it with any other hobby?

no one (as far as I know) is telling knitters "you have to knit 100 projects in a year, it doesn't matter if they turn out holey or misshapen or ugly, it matters that you made so many of them!" pretty sure no one is telling gamers "you have to play 100 games a year, doesn't matter if you really enjoy them or explore the worlds, what's important is that you finish them!"

So...why, and I say this as someone who's a fairly fast reader and has read a lot this year, are (terminally online) readers so obsessed with numbers? Is it because more books = more intelligent? Is it just Number Go Up mentality? I understand the thrill of wanting to beat your past self and read more books than the year before or whatever, but why do you expect to hold others to your standards??

[flygonscales]

hrngh…. soup…..

[andisupreme]

man was meant.. to sit down with a few kinds of crackers... a few differed aged sausages... at least four different cheeses... and a bit of fruit... and he was meant to mix and match little towers of flavor... as enrichment......

[ashippingpotato]

*sigh* I burned la roof of my mouth again :\, I got meh garlic knots tho!

Also for meh fellow garlic knot lovers (garlic-knot-ers? Knot lovers? Damn meh and meh dirty mind

[mooshkat]

i made a full meal tonight for the first time in like. over a month so that's pretty nice

[forasticcats]

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