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inbabylontheywept · 9 months ago

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So: You have depression.

I'm 27 now. The last time I had a major depressive episode was when I was 16. I still have depressive episodes every now and then, but the worst tend to be a month, and most I can generally get through them in about a week. It took me a while to kind of figure out how to handle depression as a recurring thing, and so I thought I'd make a little welp-I-got-diagnosed-now-what guide.

So, first part of the guide: When I first got depressed, I thought that depression was the terrible, sad hopeless feeling that I had. It isn't. That terrible sad hopeless feeling is a symptom of prolonged depression. By the time I get to that point, I'm pretty well cooked and it takes a lot longer to bounce back. Avoiding getting to that point is a vital part of living with depression.

So what does depression feel like?

I am going to hammer this point home a lot of times while writing this: Depression is an anesthetic. It is not felt as a presence, but as an absence. The first absence, for me at least, is when life stops being fun. Every movie feels boring, I can't get more than a few pages into any book, and everything just seems... bland.

This is the best point to catch it at. I have found that consumptive patterns of entertainment do not do anything to help depression. Some people have told me that producing art at this time really helps them, but personally, I can't imagine trying. Instead, I just do tasks that I know inspire physical satisfaction. Which sounds like jerking off (I don't actually reccomend that route) but really means things like: Going for a walk in the sunshine. Working out. Cleaning the house in a fairly exhaustive way. Scrub the baseboards, wash the sink, clear the fridge, etc.

I recognize that doing those is really, really hard while depressed because depression causes physical weakness and exhaustion. The best I can do is, unfortunately, encourage vigillance. If you suspect you're getting into a funk, start on this before you get really deep into the mire. People that get into the mire can get out, but it's not self-help read-a-book type shit, it takes therapy and medication and patience and it is so much easier and cheaper and faster to just avoid letting it get that bad then crawling out once it's sunk its teeth into you.

I have found that for things that work almost by exposure alone, spending time in the sun and talking to people are borderline magical, with the caveat that talking to people about being depressed tends to make things worse instead of better. Talking about anything that cuts through the anesthetic of depression is ideal, or if it's sunk in deep enough that you're having trouble finding anything, talking to someone else about what they're passionate about. Ideally, you'd find someone passionate about a thing you know you're passionate about but are struggling to enjoy right then, and then you'd just let your mirror neurons run amok. Bonus Points

So, you're already depressed. Like, pretty fucking depressed, and you fucked up, and you let it slide. What then?

This is my I-Fucked-Up-And-Got-Big-Sad, Salvage-My-Weekend, depression routine. You'll need to make one for yourself at some point, and yours will work better for you, but this is mine and I think it'll work okay-ish for you. Until you get your own, at least.

I have to get up before 10 am. Staying in bed later than that gives the depression such a huge head start on my day that I just basically can't catch up. If I can't just brute force get myself out of bed, I will throw my blankets and sit cold on my sheets until that gives me the motivation I need. If I cannot work up the guts to throw my blankets, I will actually roll off the bed, flop gracelessly onto the floor, and then stare wistfully up until I can will myself to stand. It helps that every bedroom I've had either had freezing cold tile, or itchy coarse carpet. If you have a comfy floor, maybe buy a very scratchy rug? I cannot emphasize how important this step is. It's like, half of the whole thing.

After getting up, immediately go outside and sit in the sunshine. This provides free executive function, and getting it ASAP will make everything go much smoother.

Talk to someone while outside. If you have a roommate, they work great. Face to face conversations tend to be the best, but phone calls with loved ones are like at least 80% as effective. Calls to family members tend to be better than in face conversations with acquaintances or people you're mostly ambivalent about. Don't do chat messages. Worse than nothing.

This should have scrounged up enough free energy that you can clean something. I always start by trying to clear a part of my counter off. If that's all I got, that's all I got, and I still feel good about it. If that inspires me to do more, I'll run with it until a whole room is up to snuff. I don't do more than one room while I'm this crispy: The goal is not really to clean the house, but to work through a series of tasks that require some initial level of executive function but provide a larger amount back once completed. Life has a lot of these deals that are like, give me $10 and I'll give you $12, give me $12 and I'll give you $20, on and on, and the hard part is really just getting the $10. Some people wake up with $10. Most days, you will wake up with $10. But not when you're like this. You're gonna have to earn it. I'm sorry.

I am going to reiterate: This is what I do when I feel a funk coming on. My life and my schedule are not always this regimented. Living with depression doesn't mean never sleeping until 10, or having a weekend where you don't talk to someone, or take a break from cleaning. Living with depression just means never, ever, leaning into the depression when you feel it coming on. Even when it starts out feeling cozy. Even when you want to just snuggle into it and sleep and sleep and sleep. The first day or two will feel luxurious, and the next week will feel terrible, and the longer you wait the harder it will be to get out. You are always going to have to worry about that. Again, I'm really, truly sorry.

Bonus Bonus Points

I am not a psychologist, but I do have a theory about why depression exists. Remember how I said it's anesthetizing? I think that's what it's there for - getting rid of emotional pain when it isn't being helpful. People often get depressed after a major injury. Boredom is normally nature's way of punishing you for just curling up and doing nothing, but depression can be the emergency override on boredom. It makes sense for you to sit still and do nothing while your body is healing, so maybe nature temporarily removes all your motivation with depression and then just lets you be a limp noodle until you're healthy again. Maybe?

Back to the emotional level, though, depression might also be a way to muffle pains that would otherwise be so intense that people might not remain in control of the faculties. The pain of losing a parent is notorious for driving people so mad with pain that they ruin their lives, but depression is there to at least try and keep us sedated until the nadir has passed.

It is helpful to know what the purpose of depression is, because you will eventually get it from an "intended" cause, and reflexively fighting it then probably isn't good for you. And at the very least, knowing why this stupid thing exists makes the world feel like less of a cruel place.

There are a lot of interesting studies on the physical effects of depression - things like muscle weakness, increased pain tolerance, muscle relaxation, etc. that I won't go into, but it does so many things at once that it almost doesn't feel like a fuck up, but a feature that we just kind of lost the plot on. Not gonna deep dive on it, but it is something that probably shouldn't be confined to just a mental disorder.

#mental health #depression #an essay I guess?#almost more of a letter to 16 year old me #but I hope this helps someone else #I don't think there's anything really trigger-worthy in here besides mentions of depression itself?#Babylon-Lore #Babylon-TopPick

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03jyh23 · 7 months ago

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🔞⌇ateez reaction to walking on you sexy dancing

!minors do not interact!

trigger warnings: highly suggestive, sexual themes, the word ''daddy'' used when singing along to a song, jealousy, lap dance, implied masturbation, lingerie

— hi there! it's my first time posting reactions! i always wanted to try and decided to finally go for it! let me know if you like this type of post from me? can't believe i am exposing the songs im shaking my ass to like this lol but enjoy! (yeah, i was totally cleaning to all of them today and my mind couldn't help but... daydream)

love, monika ♡

⌞hongjoong⌝ get busy by sean paul

You were cleaning up for a longer while, meticulously tidying each corner and surface of your home. Your phone was connected to Hongjoong’s expensive, high-quality music set, filling the room with crystal-clear sound. Cleaning wasn’t your favorite thing to do, but since Hongjoong was busy in the studio working on his latest project, it was better to tackle the chores during his absence than when he was at home and potentially in the way. You prefer to be alone when cleaning, with nobody to disturb you or interrupt your rhythm. The solitude allowed you to focus entirely on the task, making it somewhat more bearable. Your cleaning playlist was set on shuffle to keep you motivated throughout the extended cleaning session. You were wiping off the table when Get Busy by Sean Paul started playing, and you knew damn well the next thing you were going to do was shake your ass to one of the best songs ever recorded, at least in your opinion. The infectious beat and energetic rhythm were too irresistible to ignore. You could feel the music pulsing through your veins, compelling you to drop the cloth and start moving to the rhythm. You were swaying your hips left and right, your hands clapping to the rhythm. The music seemed to take control of your body, your movements becoming more fluid and enthusiastic with every beat. Lost in the music, you didn't notice the entrance door quietly opening. You put your hands into your hair, untangling them from the bun and shaking your head in the matching rhythm to your hips. You finally dropped in a swift motion to the floor, doing the sexiest drop you could, your hands between your legs and then up on your knees when you were back standing in a swift motion. You were attempting to twerk, and oh lord, you couldn't do that even if your life depended on it, but you were enjoying yourself so much you didn't even care about looking funny. You closed your eyes, letting the rhythm move you. Hongjoong stood there, leaning against the wall with a smirk on his face, watching your dance performance. He had finished his work earlier than expected and decided to surprise you, but it seemed you were the one providing the surprise. He couldn't help but chuckle softly, finding your carefree dancing endearing. You once again dropped to the floor, your hands moving up your chest and to your neck as you followed the rhythm. The song's final notes reverberated through the room, leaving you feeling exhilarated and out of breath. As the music faded, you took a moment to catch your breath, when you finally noticed your boyfriend looking at you. Oh.

Your eyes widened in surprise, heat rushing to your cheeks as you realized Hongjoong had been watching you the entire time. "How long have you been standing there?" you asked, trying to sound casual but failing to hide your embarrassment.

He pushed himself off the wall and walked towards you with a grin, "Long enough to decide that the next thing I’m gonna produce will be a dancehall song."

You laughed nervously, still trying to process the fact that Hongjoong had been watching you. "I didn't know you were back," you said, attempting to divert the attention from your dance performance.

He chuckled, "I finished early and thought I'd surprise you, but clearly, you were having your own little party here."

Blushing, you replied, "Well, cleaning is more fun with some good music."

Hongjoong nodded in agreement, "I can't argue with that. But next time, maybe save some of those moves for me?" He winked playfully, making you laugh.

"Maybe I will," you teased back, feeling more at ease now that the initial embarrassment was fading.

He walked over to you and pulled you by your hip into a kiss, deepening it with a passion that made your heart flutter. When he pulled back, his eyes were filled with warmth and affection. "Mind dancing for me again?" he suggested, taking your hand.

You smiled, feeling a rush of excitement. "Only if you join me," you replied, squeezing his hand gently.

Hongjoong laughed, "Deal. But don't blame me if I steal the spotlight." With a playful grin, he led you back to the center of the room, ready to dance together.

⌞seonghwa⌝ super bass by nicki minaj

Seonghwa was busy with his newest Lego set, and you left him be, knowing well he needed his time alone to relax doing his hobby. You watched him for a moment, admiring the way his fingers deftly assembled each piece with precision and care. The concentration on his face was evident, and it made you smile to see him so immersed in something he loved. To avoid disturbing him, you went to your shared bedroom, closed the door behind you, and decided to put on some music. You connected your phone to the speakers, and scrolled through your favorite playlists, looking for something that matched your mood. You chose a female top tracks playlist you often play in the car when driving with Seonghwa. Out of boredom, you decided it was high time to fold your clean laundry and put it back on the shelves and racks. The pile of freshly washed clothes had been sitting in the basket for a few days now, and you figured it was the perfect opportunity to finally tackle the task. As you sorted through the clothes, separating them into different categories, Super Bass started to play, and you smiled hearing the familiar beats. The rhythm of the song lifted your spirits, and you found yourself swaying to the music as you folded. It made the chore feel less like a task and more like a dance. You couldn't help yourself but rap to the song, putting on a small performance. You twirled around, pretending the laundry basket was an audience, and let the music take over. Each note you sang seemed to make the task more enjoyable, and you found yourself getting lost in the melody.

Your favorite part, the bridge, came closer, and you could feel the excitement building inside you. In one swift motion, you grabbed the chair and positioned it in the middle of the room. With a burst of energy, you put one of your legs on it, striking a dramatic pose. You sang at the top of your lungs, completely forgetting about not disturbing your dear boyfriend, "See, I need you in my life for me to stay." You closed your eyes and moved your body sensually to the beat, letting the rhythm take control. Each sway of your hips and roll of your shoulders felt instinctive, the music guiding your movements ''Don't you hear that heartbeat comin' your way?'' you sing, your voice blending seamlessly with Nicki's. You sat down on a chair, swaying your hips to the rhythm, feeling every beat pulse through your body. The music filled the room, creating an atmosphere of sultry energy and anticipation. As you continued to sing and move, you noticed Seonghwa entering the room, his eyes widening slightly as he took in the sight before him. You couldn't help but smile, your hips moving with even more confidence and allure. Seonghwa's presence only added to the excitement, and you felt a rush of adrenaline knowing he was watching you.

"Like what you see?" you asked playfully.

Seonghwa's lips curled into a smirk, and he leaned against the doorframe, crossing his arms. "I always do," he replied, his voice tinged with amusement and admiration. His eyes sparkled with affection as he watched you, clearly enjoying your performance.

Feeling emboldened by his reaction, you continued your playful dance, letting the music guide your movements. With each beat, you moved with more confidence, fully aware of Seonghwa's gaze on you.

As the song reached its climax, you struck one final pose, breathing heavily. Seonghwa clapped softly, pushing off from the doorframe and walking towards you. "That was quite the show," he said, his tone filled with genuine admiration.

You laughed, still catching your breath. "Well, I aim to entertain," you replied with a wink.

Seonghwa reached out, gently tucking a stray piece of hair behind your ear. "You always do," he said softly, his eyes locking onto yours. For a moment, the world seemed to fade away, leaving just the two of you in your little bubble of happiness. "I think I might need a private encore later," he whispered, his voice sending a shiver down your spine.

"Maybe," you teased, "if you're lucky."

With that, the two of you shared a knowing smile, the chores momentarily forgotten as you basked in each other's company.

⌞yunho⌝ smack that by akon, eminem

It was Saturday night and your boyfriend was once again spending his whole weekend preparing for his Artist of the Month performance. You were genuinely happy that Studio Choom finally contacted him, as you knew nobody deserved it as much as Yunho, but you wished he could keep his weekends off for both of you to enjoy. You were ready to go out with your friend, dressed to impress, your hair and makeup looking expensive the way you liked the most. You were finishing your glass of wine, savoring the last few sips as you mentally prepared yourself for the evening ahead. The music was playing in the background, setting the perfect mood. You were supposed to turn off the music and order yourself a taxi to get to the bar, but then the song changed to Smack That by Akon and you couldn't force yourself to skip it. The infectious beat immediately caught your attention, and you felt a surge of energy. You found yourself moving to the rhythm, swaying your hips, and rapping along to the catchy lyrics. Your hips were moving suggestively to the song, a glass of wine in one of your hands, the other on your waist helping you to keep the right rhythm. As the chorus started, you smiled to yourself, feeling a playful energy surge through you. You put your wine glass down. With a mischievous grin, you grabbed your ass and did exactly what was in the song title, moving in perfect sync with the beat. And in that moment you heard a thud. You looked in the direction the sound was coming from and saw your boyfriend walking towards you with determined strides, his bag on the floor behind him. His intense gaze was fixed on you, and you felt a shiver run down your spine. You couldn't even react when he grabbed your chin, firmly lifting your face to meet his eyes. His other hand wrapped around your waist, pulling you into him with a possessive grip. The proximity made your heart race, and you could feel the warmth of his breath on your skin.

"Looks like someone's having fun without me," Yunho murmured, his voice low and husky.

You swallowed hard, your pulse quickening as you stared into his eyes. "I didn't hear you come in," you whispered, your voice barely audible over the music.

Yunho pulled you in for a deep, passionate kiss, his lips capturing yours with an intensity that made your knees weak. Without breaking the kiss, he firmly turned you around, his strong hands guiding your body with ease. One hand slid down to your thigh, gripping it possessively, while the other wrapped around your waist, pulling you closer. You could feel his breath on your neck, hot and demanding, as he pressed you hard against his crotch. The sudden contact sent a shiver up your spine, your body responding instinctively to his touch. His grip tightened, making it clear he wasn't planning to let go anytime soon. You pushed your ass harder and pressed it against Yunho’s crotch, clearly enjoying the effect you had on him. He groaned softly, his breath hitching as he felt the pressure. "You ain’t going nowhere," he muttered, his voice thick with desire.

"I guess my plans just changed," you whispered, your voice weak as you felt your boyfriend's lips on your neck.

⌞yeosang⌝ work by rihanna

Yeosang went to the gym earlier this morning, telling you he wanted to get in a good workout before starting the day. He promised to be back by lunchtime to take you out for a nice meal and perhaps some shopping or a walk in the park. You waited for him patiently, ready to go whenever he would return. To pass the time, you turned on the big TV screen and played Rihanna’s top track playlist. As you mindlessly scrolled through social media, the catchy tune of Work started to fill the room, and you couldn’t help but move your body to the rhythm. You've always loved that song so you got up from the couch. The infectious beat took over your body, making you sway your hips and move sensually to the rhythm. You made your way to the table to put your phone down when the chorus hit. With one hand, you held the table to keep yourself steady as you dropped your ass to the floor, swaying it left and right as you were slowly getting back up. You could feel the burn in your thighs as you moved back up, but the infectious beat of the song made it all worthwhile. The sensual sway of your hips felt natural, almost instinctive as if your body was made to move this way. With each rise and fall, you felt more and more in tune with the music, your confidence growing with every beat. As you stood back up, your movements became even more fluid, your body fully embracing the rhythm. You turned around, and to your surprise, you faced Yeosang, a red blush covering his neck and ears. His eyes were wide with surprise, clearly taken aback by your dance.

You bit your lip, feeling a rush of both embarrassment and excitement. "Enjoying the show?" you asked, trying to sound casual despite the butterflies in your stomach.

Yeosang's eyes widened even more, and he struggled to find his words. "I... uh... didn't mean to interrupt," he stammered, his voice tinged with both surprise and admiration.

"You better not have," you teased, giving him a playful wink as you continued to dance, feeling more confident with each passing moment.

Yeosang's face broke into a shy smile, the blush deepening as he took a cautious step closer. "I didn't know you had moves like that," he said, his voice tinged with both admiration and bashfulness.

You laughed, feeling a sense of pride mixed with playful embarrassment. "There's a lot you don't know about me," you teased, giving him a wink as you continued to sway to the rhythm. Yeosang swallowed hard, his eyes taking you in, clearly captivated by your sensual movements. His gaze traveled over your body, lingering on the way your hips swayed and the confidence radiating from you. You could see the admiration and desire in his eyes, making you feel even more empowered. You stepped closer to him as you danced, putting one of your arms on his shoulder, your gaze shifting from his eyes to his lips, then back up. You could feel the heat radiating from his body, the anticipation building between you. Slowly, you started to go down, your hand tracing down Yeosang's body, feeling the firm muscles beneath his shirt. As your hand traveled lower, his breath hitched. You moved with deliberate slowness, savoring every moment, every inch of his body under your touch. When you finally reached his waist, you paused for a moment, looking up at him through your lashes. The intensity in his gaze made your heart race, and you could tell he was struggling to maintain his composure. You continued your descent, your fingers brushing against his thighs, feeling the tension in his muscles. As you reached the floor, you gave him a teasing smile, your body swaying seductively to the rhythm of the music. The atmosphere was electric, and charged. You started to rise again, your hand retracing its path up his body, feeling his breath quicken with each passing second. You stood up slowly, your body still swaying to the rhythm of the music, and gave him a teasing smile, "Should we get going?"

Yeosang's eyes were full of desire, and he took a deep breath before responding. "I think we can spare a few more minutes," he replied, his voice husky. You laughed softly, feeling a rush of excitement at his words. You continued to sway your hips to the music, your body moving closer to his. Yeosang reached out, his hand gently caressing your waist as he pulled you even closer. "You’re making it really hard to focus on anything else," he murmured, his lips brushing against your ear.

You smiled, feeling a sense of power and confidence. "Good," you whispered back, your voice filled with playful seduction. "Because I don't want you thinking about anything else right now." With that, you leaned in and captured his lips in a passionate kiss, your bodies moving together in perfect harmony to the rhythm of the music. As the kiss deepened, Yeosang's grip on your waist tightened, his hands exploring the curves of your body.

When you finally pulled back, both of you were breathless, your foreheads resting against each other. "Maybe we should stay in after all," Yeosang suggested, his voice barely above a whisper.

You laughed softly, nodding in agreement. "I think that sounds like a perfect plan," you replied, feeling a sense of contentment and excitement for the moments yet to come.

⌞san⌝ buttons by pussycat dolls

Your boyfriend's birthday was coming up, and your friend had talked you into giving him a lap dance. Initially, you were a bit hesitant, feeling shy about the idea. Not everybody's boyfriend was an incredible dancer, and you didn't want to embarrass yourself. The thought of trying to match San's moves and charisma when he was performing made you a little nervous. You decided to give it your best shot, hoping that your sincerity and the love behind the gesture would shine through, even if your dance moves weren't perfect. It was a late evening before his birthday, and for the hundredth time, you played the music video to Buttons, trying to figure out how the hell Nicole did that move on that chair. You watched her every move, analyzing the choreography with a mix of admiration and frustration. The way she effortlessly blended strength and sensuality was mesmerizing, and you couldn't help but feel a bit intimidated. Determined to get it right, you positioned a chair in front of the mirror, mimicking her moves as best as you could. You adjusted your posture, trying to channel Nicole's confidence and grace. The music filled the room, and you attempted the dance sequence once again, focusing on the smooth transitions and precise movements. Despite the challenges, you felt a sense of accomplishment with each small improvement.

When you finally got everything right, you decided to try and rehearse the choreography one last time with your outfit, or lack of it, and shoes on. You still had some time until San would get back home, so you went into your room and put your lingerie on, together with the high heels. You took a deep breath, trying to calm the butterflies in your stomach. After adjusting the straps and checking your reflection in the mirror one last time, you walked back to the living room where you had set up the chair. The anticipation built up inside you, and you could feel your heart racing. You started the music once more, letting the familiar beats fill the room. As you moved through the choreography, you felt a sense of empowerment. Each step, each sway of your hips, was a testament to your determination and love for San. You imagined his reaction, the look of surprise and admiration in his eyes, and it fueled your performance even more.

The door creaked open just as you were finishing the routine. Your heart skipped a beat as you saw San standing there, his eyes wide with surprise and a smile slowly spreading across his face.

"Well, this is a surprise," he said, his voice filled with admiration.

You blushed but didn't stop, finishing the last few moves with a flourish. As the music faded, you stood there, slightly out of breath, but filled with a sense of accomplishment and anticipation. "You weren't supposed to see it yet," you stammered, your voice tinged with a mix of surprise and shyness.

San's eyes twinkled with amusement as he took a step closer, his smile widening, his dimples showing. "Well, I have to say, I'm glad I did," he replied, his voice filled with genuine admiration. "You look amazing baby."

You took a deep breath, trying to regain your composure. "I wanted it to be a surprise for your birthday," you admitted, feeling the initial nervousness starting to fade away.

San reached out, gently taking your hand in his. "And it is," he said softly, his grip reassuring. "The best surprise I could ask for."

With his encouraging words, you felt a surge of confidence. "Well, in that case," you said with a playful grin, "why don't you take a seat and enjoy the full performance?"

San's eyes lit up with anticipation as he nodded eagerly, quickly finding a spot to sit down. You restarted the music, letting the rhythm take over as you began the dance once more, this time with him as your captive audience.

⌞mingi⌝ streets by doja cat

You were incredibly mad. Mingi was attending one of those prestigious award ceremonies, and being the supportive girlfriend that you are, of course, you decided to watch it live to cheer him on from afar. During one of the last performances by one of the most popular girl groups, they were doing an incredibly sexy choreography on chairs. Your boyfriend was, unfortunately, unlucky enough to be caught by the ever-watchful cameraman staring intently at one of the girl group members. To make matters worse, a wide grin spread across his face as he licked his lips, completely mesmerized by the performance. Oh, how you wished you could reach through the screen and wipe that stupid, infuriating grin off his face. You were already plotting your next move, determined to make your boyfriend pay for his wandering eyes. The revenge will be sweet. The opportunity presented itself a few days later when he was about to return home from the award ceremony. Mingi texted you he was on his way from the airport and you were so ready to make him squirm and beg for forgiveness. You dimmed the lights, and lit up candles across the living room, creating an intimate glow. You had meticulously prepared for this moment, wearing the lingerie he got you for your birthday on your body. The delicate lace hugged your curves perfectly, making you feel empowered and seductive. As you waited, you could feel your excitement and anticipation growing. You replayed the scene from the award ceremony in your mind, fueling your determination to make him understand the consequences of his actions. The sound of the front door unlocking pulled you from your thoughts.

Mingi stepped inside, his eyes immediately widening as he took in the setting. His gaze traveled over your body sitting on a chair in the middle of the living room, lingering appreciatively on the lingerie. You could see the momentary confusion in his eyes, quickly replaced by a look of desire.

"Wow, what's all this?" he asked, his voice a mix of curiosity and excitement. You walked towards him slowly, your hips swaying seductively with each step. Without a word you took his hand and guided him to the chair, pushing him down gently. As he sat, you pressed play and Streets started playing. You straddled his lap, your hands resting on his shoulders. Mingi was quick to grab your waist but you pushed them off of you quickly, "No touching," you warned him as your hand grabbed his hair, pulling his head back slightly. His eyes widened in surprise, but a smirk quickly formed on his lips as he realized you were in control. You leaned in close, your breath hot against his ear as you whispered, "Tonight is all about you learning a lesson."

Mingi's smirk faltered slightly, replaced by a look of anticipation and desire. You could feel the tension between you growing thicker, the air charged with electricity. Slowly, you moved your hips, grinding against him in a tantalizing rhythm, your hands never leaving his hair.

His breath hitched, and you could see the struggle in his eyes as he fought the urge to touch you. "You like watching other girls, huh?" you teased, your voice dripping with mock sweetness. "Well, let's see if you can handle just watching tonight." You continued your slow, deliberate movements, your body arching and swaying to the rhythm of the music. Each motion was designed to drive him wild, to make him regret ever letting his eyes wander. The intensity of his gaze and the way he bit his lip told you that your plan was working.

⌞wooyoung⌝ drunk in love by beyoncé, jay-z

You were bored out of your mind, your boyfriend had been playing games since early afternoon, leaving you to yourself. You finally switched off Netflix, feeling unsatisfied with the endless scrolling. With a sigh, you opened the YouTube app, hoping to find a soundtrack to make your time in the kitchen more enjoyable. Lately, Wooyoung and you were into Beyoncé, so you played her music video playlist and went to the kitchen. Music filled the room, the lively beats instantly brightening your mood as you gathered your ingredients and started to cook dinner. After a short while, you heard the intro to Drunk in Love and you decided to play it louder. The sultry beats and Beyoncé's mesmerizing voice filled the kitchen, making you sway your hips as you chopped vegetables. You couldn't help but sing along, feeling the music take over your body.

You took one of the big dippers and started to sing to it, pretending it to be your microphone. You feel like a superstar on a grand stage as you move around the kitchen, twirling and dancing as if performing for a captivated audience. Every so often, you glanced towards your boyfriend's room, half-hoping Wooyoung would notice your performance and join in the fun. But for now, you were content to let the music and your imagination take you away.

You sit on the counter, the rhythm of the music coursed through you, compelling you to sway and groove in time with the beat. Your hand gripped the edge of the counter for balance as you leaned back slightly, letting your head tilt and your hair cascade down your back. You sang along to the lyrics, your voice blending with Beyoncé's. Your hips rolled sensuously, matching the sultry vibe of the song, and you couldn't help but smile, feeling utterly in the moment.

"Baby, would you mind turning the music down a bit?" you heard Wooyoung call from his room.

You smirked, feeling a wave of playful defiance wash over you. Ignoring Wooyoung's request, you raised your voice and sang the lyrics with even more enthusiasm, "I been sippin', that's the only thing, that's keepin' me on fire, we on fire!" Your voice echoed through the kitchen, you jumped off the counter, grabbing the big dipper again as your microphone, and strutted across the kitchen floor, feeling like a superstar on a grand stage. With each step, you let your hips sway more dramatically, fully embracing the rhythm. You spun around, your hair whipping through the air, and belted out the next line with just as much fervor.

Wooyoung poked his head out of his room, his initial frustration melting into a fond smile as he watched you.

You bit your lower lip and looked at him while singing, "I want your body right here, daddy, I want you, right now."

Wooyoung's eyes widened slightly, a smirk playing on his lips as he took in your playful performance. He stepped out of his room, the game momentarily forgotten, and walked towards you with a mischievous glint in his eyes.

"Oh? Is that so?" he replied, his voice low and teasing as he reached you.

"Can't keep your eyes off my fatty, daddy, I want you" you continued singing as Wooyoung took the microphone from your hand, setting it aside before pulling you close, his hands resting on your hips. You wrapped your arms around his neck, swaying in time with the beat as you gazed into his eyes.

"Maybe I should take a break from my game," Wooyoung murmured, his lips brushing against your ear, sending a shiver down your spine.

You smiled, feeling a rush of excitement. "I think that's a great idea," you replied, pulling him even closer.

"You know, you might just be better than Beyoncé," he joked, looking into your eyes.

"Oh, please," you laughed, feeling your cheeks flush. "But I'll take the compliment."

With a shared laugh, the two of you danced together in the kitchen, the earlier boredom forgotten as you lost yourselves in the music and each other.

⌞jongho⌝ partition by beyoncé

You got out of the shower, towel loosely wrapped around you, as you went through your evening routine. Jongho was still at practice, the tour was coming, so you knew better than to wait for him. He probably wouldn't be back till dawn. You glanced at your phone, hoping for a message from him, but the screen remained dark. You knew how important these practice sessions were, especially with the tour coming up, but you couldn't help but miss him. You moved to your bedroom and decided to play some music before heading to bed. The apartment felt unusually quiet without Jongho's presence, and you needed something to fill that silence. You connected your phone to the speaker and scrolled through your playlist, finally settling on a Beyoncé mix. The first notes of Partition began to play, the sultry beat filling the room. You ruffled through your wardrobe, searching for one of Jongho's t-shirts to sleep in. His scent always brought you comfort, especially on nights when he wasn't around. As the music played, you found yourself swaying to the rhythm, the infectious beat making it impossible to stand still. You tossed aside a few of your own shirts, determined to find one of his that you loved the most. The groove of the song took over, and you started to move your hips more deliberately, feeling the music course through your body. Finally, you found one of his oversized t-shirts at the bottom of the drawer. You held it up to your face, inhaling deeply before slipping it on. The fabric was soft and comforting, and you continued to dance, feeling a little closer to him with each step. You loved how Beyoncé's music made you feel sexy and empowered. You lay down on the bed and started to do your own choreography for the song. The rhythm guided your movements, each beat making you feel more confident. Your hands traced along your body, feeling the music in every touch. You couldn't help but feel a little hot all over as you kept twining around the bed, the music guiding your every move. The rhythm pulsed through you as you turned to your stomach, your ass up, matching the sultry beats of the song. The soft fabric of the bed sheets brushed against your skin, intensifying the sensations coursing through you. In no time, you were on your knees, grinding against the bed with a deliberate, sensual motion. Your hands gripped the sheets, your body moving fluidly to the music, lost in the moment. You played a bit with your t-shirt, lifting it playfully as you felt yourself getting worked up. The cool air against your skin mixed with the heat of the moment, intensifying your sensations. You let the fabric slide back down, but not before teasing yourself a bit more, feeling the gentle brush against your skin. With each sway of your hips and each subtle lift of the t-shirt, you could feel the tension building within you. The combination of the music, the feel of the soft cotton, and the thought of Jongho made your heart race.

You were so lost in the rhythm and sensations that you didn't hear the front door open. Jongho stepped inside, his eyes widening as he took in the sight of you moving sensually on the bed, wearing his t-shirt. He stood there for a moment, captivated by the scene, before quietly walking towards the bedroom. As he reached the doorway, you finally noticed him, your movements slowing as your eyes met his. The intensity in his gaze sent a shiver down your spine, and you could see the desire and admiration in his eyes. Jongho was stuck by the way your hips grind hard against the bed. Taking a few slow steps forward, he let his eyes roam over your body, appreciating every curve and movement. The intensity in his eyes made your breath hitch, and you could feel the heat between your legs growing with each passing second.

"Need some help, baby?" he asked, his voice low and husky, filled with a mix of admiration.

The words escaped your lips before you could fully process them, "Yes, please," you breathed out, your voice laced with more neediness than you had intended.

Jongho's lips curled into a smirk as he sat down on the bed beside you, his hands gently guiding you to straddle him. The music continued to play as he leaned in, his lips brushing against your ear as he whispered, "Let me take care of you."

│if you enjoy my writing please consider supporting me by reblogging ♡

#ateez reactions #ateez fluff #ateez smut #ateez x reader #ateez x you #ateez x y/n #hongjoong x reader #yunho x reader #seonghwa x reader #yeosang x reader #san x reader #mingi x reader #wooyoung x reader #jongho x reader #ateez fic #jongho smut

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glowettee · 2 months ago

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Study Like an It Girl: Paris Geller Energy 📚✨

If there’s one fictional character who embodies the ultimate study grind, it’s Paris Geller from Gilmore Girls. Her level of ambition? Unmatched. Her drive? Relentless. And while her methods might sometimes verge on chaotic (okay, very chaotic), there’s so much we can learn from her approach to academics. I'm gonna break down how you can channel that Paris Geller energy while keeping your sanity intact. 🌸✨ (hopefully...)

1. Set Clear Goals (Be as Extra as Paris)

Paris didn’t just want to do well; she wanted to be the best. While you don’t have to make your life a competition, having clear, specific goals can give you direction. Instead of saying, “I want to study more,” try:

“I want to get an A on my next chemistry test.”

“I’ll complete three hours of focused study for math every weeknight.” Specificity helps you stay on track and keeps your energy focused on the right tasks.

💡 It Girl Tip: Create a vision board for your goals, Paris-style. Include dream colleges, career aspirations, or anything else that fuels your ambition. Keep it somewhere you can see it every day—manifestation meets motivation. (digital or IRL is good, USE PINTEREST!)

2. Romanticize Your Study Environment

Let’s be honest: Paris wouldn’t study in a messy, uninspiring room. Your study space should feel like an aesthetic haven. Think:

A tidy desk with your favorite stationery ✏️

Soft lighting (fairy lights or a warm desk lamp) 🌟

A pastel mug filled with tea or coffee ☕

Background music (try classical, K-Pop or lo-fi playlists for the ultimate vibe) 🎶

You’re the main character of your life!!

3. Be Aggressively Overprepared, But Aesthetically So

Paris Geller never walked into a study session without knowing everything. Her energy was all about overachieving to the point of intimidating her competition. You don’t need the rivalry, but you do need the prep.

It Girl Twist: Gather extra resources and organize them beautifully. Think color-coded binders, pastel-highlighted textbooks, and aesthetic digital flashcards.

Why It Works: When you know more than what’s required, it builds confidence. That’s Paris power.

💡 Mindy Says: “Overprepared = unbothered queen vibes. Let your notes be so cute they could double as Pinterest posts.”

4. Master Controlled Chaos

Paris’s intensity could sometimes spiral into chaos, but she always managed to pull through. Instead of avoiding stress, embrace it as a sign you’re pushing yourself—and learn to channel it constructively.

It Girl Twist: When you’re overwhelmed, do a quick brain dump into a journal or planner. Write down every single task, no matter how small. Then organize it into bite-sized chunks.

Why It Works: Getting everything out of your head and onto paper clears your mind and gives you control.

💡 Mindy Says: “Your chaos is part of the process, babe. Just make it chic— glittery gel pens and mood-boosting playlists.”

5. Develop an Intimidation-Level Vocabulary

Remember when Paris dropped SAT words like confetti? It wasn’t just for show; she knew that language was power. Building your vocabulary can make you feel (and sound) unstoppable.

It Girl Twist: Learn one new “power word” a day and slip it into casual conversations or captions. Bonus points if it’s super niche and makes you feel like a literary goddess.

Why It Works: Knowledge isn’t just for exams—it’s for life. Plus, it’s fun to impress people with words they have to Google.

💡 Mindy Says: “An eloquent queen is a glowing queen. Vocabulary flexing is the new subtle flex.”

6. Treat Every Day Like It’s a Debate Prep Day

Paris’s debate skills were unmatched because she thought critically about everything. Adopting her mindset means questioning the world around you and staying curious.

It Girl Twist: Pick one topic you’re passionate about and research the heck out of it. Pretend you’re preparing to debate Paris herself (but in a cute, less intimidating way).

Why It Works: Critical thinking is a muscle—flex it daily. It’s also a low-key way to keep studying exciting.

💡 Mindy Says: “Be curious. Be informed. Be iconic. Channel your inner Paris and make intellectual sass your superpower.”

5. Take Pride in Your Ambition—Unapologetically

Paris never dimmed her ambition, even when people found it “too much.” Embrace that energy and stop apologizing for wanting more—if it’s higher grades, dream schools, or a future as the CEO of your life embrace it!

It Girl Twist: Write a “brag list” every week. Note down everything you’ve accomplished, big or small, and let yourself feel proud of it.

Why It Works: Celebrating your wins keeps you motivated and reminds you that your hard work is paying off.

💡 Mindy Says: “Being ambitious isn’t extra—it’s iconic. You’re not ‘too much,’ babe. You’re just enough to glow brighter than everyone else.”

✨ Final Thoughts:

I hoped you girlies loved this blog post. I wanted to try a different style. If you all noticed the "Mindy Quotes" they're all words by me! I'm Mindy/Glowettee! I wanted to give you personal words of encouragement! Love you all!

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nanowrimo · 8 months ago

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Smash Your Word Count Goals in 3 Easy Steps

from our sponsors at Freewrite

Here at Freewrite, we help writers reach peak productivity in order to meet word count goals and create their best work yet. That’s our reason for being.

Today, we’re going to share the three easy steps proven by science to help you reach your writing goals!

1) Set A Goal & Write It Down

The psychology of goal setting is pretty clear. It’s what NaNoWriMo is all about, right? Research has proven that people who set goals experience higher motivation and are more likely to feel accomplished.

However, the type of goal you set makes a big difference to your efforts. Make sure that your goals are (a) clear and specific, (b) realistic, and (c) measurable.

Being clear about your goal will help you hone in on what you’re trying to achieve and ignore distractions. Make sure to write it down, as well. Research by psychologist Gail Matthews has revealed that people who write down goals are 33% more successful than those who simply set a goal in their head.

Next, be realistic. This means being honest with yourself about what you can and can’t achieve based on your other life obligations. Setting goals that you can’t achieve will only lead to frustration and, ultimately, a lack of motivation.

And last, make sure each goal is measurable. “Write 1,000 words each day” is much easier to measure than “Finish this book.” Because we all know it’s difficult to measure a book being “done”!

Breaking these goals down into smaller, simpler steps will help, too. If your goal is to write 20,000 words during Camp NaNo, break that down into 5,000 words a week, and then figure out how many words you’ll have to write each day to reach those smaller goals.

2) Practice Freewriting

Freewriting is thinking. It’s as simple — and as difficult — as that.

While every writer is unique, and there is no one way to be a writer, there are similarities we all share as humans — especially humans in the modern world — that create common obstacles to doing the things we love — like reading, writing, and yes, thinking. There are the obvious external obstacles: social media, email, the internet. But there are sneaky internal obstacles, too — the main culprit being the inner critic.

As humans, we are judgmental. It’s in our DNA. Our brains are constantly assessing situations, imagining outcomes, and making decisions. It’s part of survival at a very basic level. However, that means that when we do anything, including writing, we tend to automatically assess our actions — judging our own words, tweaking and editing them as we go along. That constant evaluation not only hinders progress, it can also stop us from ever getting started. And if we do manage to sit down to write, that inner critic creates an unconscious anxiety that prevents us from experimenting and writing down our most innovative and creative — and weird! — ideas.

We’ve all heard the advice to “write now, edit later.” Or perhaps you’ve heard writers reference “the sloppy/crappy/messy first draft.” Those are just fun ways of referencing the writing method in which you separate the drafting process from the editing process. Or, what we call freewriting.

Many people haven’t written this freely since childhood, but there’s a reason this method is taught in MFA programs. Getting your thoughts down first and revising later increases productivity and yields better, more creative work because it allows you to give your brain fully to each task. It means that when you’re drafting, you’re drafting, and when you’re editing, you’re editing. There’s no context-switching or multitasking.

So, what if you gave yourself permission to write badly at first? And we don’t just mean cheesy or with glaring plot holes — we mean typos, missing words, character names replaced by big Xs because you couldn’t remember them in the moment.

The next time you draft, we challenge you to give it a try. Just let yourself go and give your thoughts and feelings over to the act of creating. Because that’s when the magic happens.

3) Track Your Stats

OK, you’ve set measurable goals, and you’ve started drafting. What’s next?

Track your efforts!

Here at Freewrite, we’ve created a tool to automatically track important writing stats, like word count, writing days, writing streak, and more! It’s called a Postbox Profile, and it gives you a unique URL that allows you to share your stats with writing friends.

Anyone with a Postbox account — that’s anyone who writes on a Freewrite OR uses our free in-browser drafting tool, Sprinter — can create a Postbox Profile and track their stats.

👉Don’t have a Freewrite yet? No problem! We have a FREE in-browser drafting experience called Sprinter that helps you shut down distractions and make progress — and gives you access to Postbox. Start writing today absolutely FREE at sprinter.getfreewrite.com.

👉Ready to grab your own Freewrite? Our entry-level device, Alpha, is $50 off this June only! Just use code STARTWITHALPHA at checkout.

#nanowrimo #writing #sponsored #ad #freewriting #writing goals #word count #Freewrite

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idontmindifuforgetme · 1 year ago

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You are so productive and living your best life I admire it so much! I don't understand how you do it... do you have any advice for forcing yourself to do the things you know are good for you even when you are feeling sad and not up to it? Have a lovely day ❣️❣️❣️

Plan your day hour by hour. This actually revolutionized my life. Plan when you’ll wake up, plan what you’ll do every hour of the day, and make it as realistic as possible to stick to your goals. Start with simple things and gradually ramp it up. Don’t overwhelm your day with 60 different goals. I’d pair one passive goal (be on your phone less, for example) with one active goal (study more, take more walks, read more) and go from there. It’s better to start small and be consistent than to start big and quit one day in.

Lower the resistance necessary to accomplish tasks. If you have somewhere to be early tomorrow, plan your outfit the night before. If you have studying to do, have your textbooks/notebooks/notes on your desk by the time you wake up. If you have an overwhelming task, break it into smaller subtasks and focus on them one at a time. If you don’t want to be on your phone in the morning, charge it somewhere you won’t be able to see the moment you open your eyes. I’m trying to overcome the phone issue right now, so instead of setting an alarm on my phone I just bought a digital alarm clock bc I know I’m way less likely to get on my phone that way. I’m lowering the effort needed to actually get started on a task.

Have motivational things handy for when you’re down!! I’m a highly visual person, so it actually really helps me to make moodboards. I have moodboards for things I wanna accomplish, moodboards for things I’ve already accomplished, a Pinterest board for affirmations etc etc. I have a list on my notes app for all the reasons why it’s important to me to accomplish my goals. I have another notes app page dedicated to pasting all the motivational quotes that help me whenever I’m in a funk. You could even print them and hang them up on your wall if you want. In times where instant gratification overshadows getting things done, make it very accessible to remember why they’re important to you to begin with.

Romanticize your tasks. I make silly to-do lists, I make sure I’m always in cute outfits when I’m running errands, I put on perfume and mascara and lip gloss even if I’m literally all on my own in my bedroom about to do a 3 hour study session. I love getting manicures bc there’s nothing more satisfying than studying with pretty dark red fall nails. This may sound extra but I go through my notes pretending I’m Elle Woods or something bc it makes it so much fun. A huge part of why I’m consistent with going to the gym is bc I buy pretty workout fits that just make me feel good. I wear lingerie under my clothes wherever I am bc it makes me feel like a bad bitch even if no one sees it. I don’t start a task with the thought in mind that I want to get it done already—I try to make the act of doing it in and of itself as engaging as possible.

To piggyback off that point, switch your environment if your current one isn’t serving you. Don’t just default to quitting if one approach isn’t working. If studying in your bedroom isn’t doing it, go to the nearest coffee shop. If the coffee shop isn’t working, do the library. Study indoors. Study outdoors. Study in nature. Hell study at a beach if you want to. It doesn’t matter where you are if you’re getting things done. Exhaust all your alternatives before calling it quits.

Set firm boundaries with yourself. This is so big. Self-care is absolutely treating yourself, but it’s also being your own parent and disciplining yourself if you feel like you’re not putting your all into something. In a world where it’s very easy to go “just a few more minutes on my phone” “I’ll do it tomorrow” “I can skip working out today” it’s really important to be able to parent yourself and exercise some tough love and do some things even if you don’t feel like you want to. I really struggle with this as a gen z girl bc this is THE era of instant gratification. But my goals are just more important to me than momentary comfort.

No zero days. Just bc you’re not being your 100% on one day doesn’t mean you should just lie down and do nothing. Being at 50% performance is better than being at 0%. I try to make sure I get some light tasks done on days where I don’t feel like going all in. It helps me not feel like I’ve just derailed my whole life, which consequently helps me move on from my ruts faster.

Look ahead. Can not emphasize this enough. Death motivates me like nothing else. You do not have an infinite time on this earth. You don’t want to be at the same place you’ve been at a year from now. Resist the “I’ll do it tomorrow” mentality as much as possible. Change happens in small increments & there’s no better time for it than the present. What may seem like little things you can skip out on now can quickly snowball into the very things that are preventing you from being where you want to be.

Acknowledge your limits. Someone with two full-time jobs and school should not be comparing themself to the progress of someone with one part-time job and like nothing else. I’m currently studying full-time and also trying to maintain a consistent workout routine, so I don’t expect myself to recreationally read more than 30 minutes a day, even if ideally I’d like that time to be way higher. I know it’s pointless to compare myself to someone who reads 70 books a month but has much less workload than I do. Comparison is inherently flawed bc no one else has been the dealt the cards you’ve been dealt. Tailor your schedule to your own unique situation. Make a list of your priorities and assign them to your hours accordingly.

Listen to your needs!! Mental health is the most important thing. You need to be in tune with yourself to know when you could be pushing yourself a little harder, and when it’s necessary to give yourself time off. If I’m in an actual burnout, I go out with friends. I go see a movie. I give myself the grace of being human and step back for a little bit. It’s completely okay to have those days, and acknowledging them helps you recover quicker. Take care of yourself <3

#i hope this helps <33 a girl rly loves her bullet point lists #also thank u for this ask bc now I get to look back at these whenever I’m in a funk 😈#ask #study tips

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brain-n-body-in-disarray · 1 year ago

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What the h*ll is "basic hygiene" anyway?

If you're like me, you've been struggling with hygiene for a long time. I'm neurodivergent, I have chronic fatigue and chronic pain, so yeah, it's been hard, my whole life.

Here's a few tips that helped me or some of my friends.

1. Redefine "basic hygiene"

No, really. Redefine it. Neurotypical and able-bodied people will tell you all can of things about what is "basic" hygiene.

The rule is: do what you can. That's it. The rest of the post will be tips to increase what you can do. But in the meantime, just do your best. You're fantastic the way you are.

2. Time

There's two thing here.

The first is: find the right time for you. It's not always easy, because we often have obligations, and we're supposed to be clean at those right moments. It's not easy. Sometimes it "helps" because it gives us that "boost" we needed to start getting clean, but most of the time it's just stressful. So instead find the moment that works best for you. I know there's moments in the day when it'll be easier for me to start tasks that I would struggle with at an other time, but I prioritise other things instead for a reason or another. Try washing yourself then, even if people will tell you it's strange to have a shower at three pm. Who cares.

The second is: divide to conquer. You don't have to wash ALL the parts of your body at once. You don't necessarily have the energy for it and it's okay. Also it can feel daunting to face that long list of steps. A body has a LOT of parts to wash and clean. Really, that's scary and exhausting. So the solution might be to do smaller things here and there. Do what you can when you can, that's okay. At least you've done something, that's great!

You are also allowed to take breaks in the middle. It can help if you are tired, or if it makes you anxious.

3. Wipes.

I personally hate washing with soap and water, whether it's a bath, shower or just at the sink. It takes time, it's a lot of steps, and it feels horrible. I do it when I can, but I don't enjoy it. The partial solution is wipes.

Baby wipes are great, they're soft, some smell good but faint, some has no odor. You can clean yourself quickly without rinsing. And they don't let that terrible feeling on your skin.

There's wipes made for your private parts. Which is an important part to clean. Also wet toilet paper is good. (For private parts wipes, buy the organic ones, you don't want anything too harsh there)

Make-up removal wipes are not just to remove make-up. They do clean you face.

Don't use antibacterial wipes though. At least not regularly. They are too harsh for your skin, you'll just damage it. Also too much antibacterial stuffs just make bacterias more resistant.

Bonus point: wipes can easily be carried in a bag. Handy.

4. Charts and lists and apps.

Whether you forget to do it or it you have done it already, or you can't get motivated, or you can't manage to start washing, or there's so many steps you get overwhelmed, or you start but can't remember what to do next, etc., those tips might help.

There's apps like Habitica (it's the most well known but there's others) that help you building habits and remembering to do stuffs and making it fun (help with rewards). It's about general tasks but can be applied to washing. A friend also told me there's a pokemon app to brush your teeth but I haven't tried it.

If you get overwhelmed by the steps and get lost in the middle, making a list of those steps, laminating and putting it in the bathroom near the sink or in the shower can help you keeping tracks. You can even put a dry erase marker near the list to check what have already be done.

5. The "bath buddy"

If you live with someone, you can ask their help.

I'm not saying they have to wash you. Or maybe I am? A friend takes his showers with his boyfriend to help getting motivated.

It can just be your platonic roommate behind the door talking to you, telling you funny stories.

Having company can help start the task and make it more enjoyable which help in itself but also make it less daunting the next times. Having a bath buddy also helps if you get lost in the middle of a task, they can tell you what the next step is. They can also keep you on tracks and in the present (I know I tend to dissociate a lot in the bathroom). And they keep your mind off the bad stuffs (body dysphoria for example, or sensory discomfort)

6. You're never too old for "kids' stuffs"

Because you're never to old for fun stuffs.

No, really, there's no reason why you should deprive yourself of something that would make washing more fun.

Wash your teeth with bubblegum flavored toothpaste.

Play with bathtoys. Buy those little plastic boats and those little squirting animals. (Seriously, the fact that the only fun thing for bath for adult is bubbles is a crime)

The word here is "fun". Make the bathroom fun. Buy a shower curtain with cute elephants playing with water. Put adhesive ducks on the tiles. Make that darn room a place you want to be in, not just to distract you from the bad stuff but to enjoy your life.

7. Teeth. Oh no, the teeth.

First thing: as I said, you don't have to use that "adult toothpaste". The menthol contained in it can be sensory hell. You can use kid toothpaste, it cleans just as well. If you can't use any toothpaste try brushing without it with just water. You can also try toothpaste tablets (you chew on them and then brush). You can try mouthwash. You can try oil-pulling. The point here is to remove some bacteria from your mouth.

About brushing. There's different hardness in toothbrushes. If you're using hard, try medium. If you're using medium, try soft. If you're using soft, try baby toothbrush. If no toothbrush works for you, try a wet cloth, or your finger. Try using toothpicks to remove the remains of food and then use mouthwash.

If the storebought mouthwash doesn't do with you, make it yourself. There's recipes online with essential oils (optional, but maybe there's one you might like), baking soda and water. (I don't recommend using lemon juice, it might damage your enamel.)

My friend just told me I should mention dental floss. I personally hate it, but it might be useful to some of you. It's probably more effective than toothpicks. They also comes mounted on these little plastic sticks if you struggle with the thread alone.

8. Chair

No, really, you have the right to sit down during washing. Buy a shower chair. Put a bench on your bathtub instead of struggling to stand up. Put a chair in front of the sink to sit when you brush your teeth.

You don't have to be physically disabled to use a chair to wash. And if you're disabled there's still no shame. Standing up can be boring, it can be painful, it can be tiring. So sit. You are allowed.

And if you prefer standing, do. You can pace. You can dance. You can do gymnastics. (Just be careful if you're brushing your teeth, okay. Or if you're in the shower. Don't hurt yourself.)

9. Music

If you don't have a buddy to talk to you, music or even podcasts, anything to listen to, can be a nice way to help. They makes the experience more enjoyable. They keeps your head away from the bad sensory experience or the awareness of your own body.

I also find using the same playlist useful to keep track of the time I've been spending in the shower. I even time the steps on the tracklist, I know I washed that part of my body for long enough if that song is over, I need to do the next step.

Also, for me me music is part of the ritual. It helps me to get in the right mind, it motivates me, it makes the routine.

10. Multi-purpose products.

I've seen all those beauty posts about "layering". It's nice if you have the energy and the time, but no, it's not for me.

I hate moisturising creams. I really do. They smells funny, they feels gross and sticky, and it takes forever to apply. It's an unnecessary step for me. But I have dry skin (at least on my body). The easy solution is to use surgras soap or surgras shower gel. (Not just the "moisturising" soap, that won't hydrate as well.)

I don't just remove the unpleasant experience of moisturiser, I remove a step. I save energy.

Also, multi-purpose products help with organisation, there's less things to think about. There's less risk of taking the wrong bottle because you're too headfogged. Less chance of chaos in the bathroom.

I personally can't do that for everything. I'd like to have one soap for everything, but my body skin and my face skin and my private parts and my hair all need different stuffs. But I do try to keep things to a minimum, because the number of products can be quickly overwhelming. So try to balance your sensory needs with your organisation problem.

(Also, if like me you hate the feeling of moisturiser, aloe vera gel is great. It is a bit sticky, but in a different way than cream. I personally prefer that one. There's also the option of oil, there's different kinds for different skin types, even for oily skin.)

11. Japaneses know best: the bidet.

This one might sounds strange for some folx. Where I live, bidets used to be extremely common but they are disappearing. We used to have a bidet next to the toilets in our homes. Japanese toilets have a built-in bidet but they are expensive. There is a cheaper (but still not cheap) alternative. You can buy a bidet toilet seat attachment to put on your own toilets.

Why am I telling you about bidet? Because when you struggle to wash regularly, bidets are incredibly useful.

Toilet paper is highly unhygienic. Wet toilet paper is a bit better. Bidets, that spray a jet of water on your privates, clean so much better.

And they are easy and quick to use. You just press a button and you are clean.

If you have a vagina, it's even more important, because it lowers significantly the risks of getting UTI and the likes.

If you can afford it, I recommend it.

12. The hat, or "well, f*ck it"

You can fail to wash in time for whatever obligation you have. That's okay.

Just use the card "camouflage".

Greasy hair? If they are long, brush them and tie them tightly, and put on a fashionable hat. Or you favorite, silly, hat. Or just a random hat that your aunt gave you (you know the one, you wondered for three weeks if you smiled enough when you received the gift because you didn't want to offend her). Scarfs are nice too.

Other idea to hide greasy hair? A wig. They are higher maintenance, but they are good to have for occasions where you have to look a bit better or if you can't wear a hat for whatever reason.

About odors... Well you know the trick of deodorants and perfume. Not what I recommend, at least not alone. For once not everyone can stand their smell. Also, they aren't that great to succeed at masking odors. If you can, use wipes to clean your armpits (also the underbreasts if you have them) and the neck and chest area. It might not remove all the odors but it'll help and with some deodorant if you can stand it, you should be good.

About deodorant: you can use a dollop of moisturiser (yes, I know I said I hate them, but listen), it will help to stop the formation of odors but the fragrance is usually mild or absent. It's also less harsh than the usual deodorant. You only need a small amount for it to work. You just need to clean before (wipes should be enough)

13. Don't stew in your dirty clothes.

Try to change your clothes often even if you don't wash. Especially your underwears.

I know it might sound counterintuitive to wear clean clothes when your skin is dirty, but staying in old clothes is like wearing a petri dish. By keeping the same clothes on you, you also keep the bacterias that live on it and your body.

It's especially bad in some areas, like your private parts, your feet and your armpits.

If you live alone, or if you live with someone who don't care, don't put clothes on at all. You'll just stew in your bacterial crock pot otherwise.

Staying naked also has the upside of reducing the amount of laundry you have to do.

14. Use your strengths.

Sometimes it's as simple as using your other hand because your dominant one is achy.

Sometimes it's listening to a podcast about your special interest.

You're an artist? Put a whiteboard in the shower. Or, I don't know, draw your body, laminate the drawing, and color the parts you have already washed with a dry erase marker.

Your thing is to make lists of animals of Paraguay? Recite them alphabetically and make a song with them while you brush your teeth and wash your face and clip you nails.

Dancers here? Each movement you make is part of a choreography.

15. Aftercare.

Hygiene is immensely stressful and energy consuming. You don't just deserve a reward, you need aftercare.

It's okay to take a nap. It's okay to need to engage with your special interest. It's okay to need a hug. It's okay to want to be alone. It's okay to feel bad too. Have a cry. Be moody. Don't be ashamed of what you feel. Of course it's better if you manage to avoid these emotions. But it's okay if you have them.

And give yourself a little treat. Have a cup of your favorite tea. Put a shiny sticker in your "things I've done good today" diary. Cuddle with your pet. Read the Swedish dictionary.

Drink a glass of water and eat something.

Also, if you have chronic pain, like I do, take your meds. (My joints are always a bit achy after standing too long, or my shoulder are stiff after washing my hair)

Write an essay about why keeping up with your hygiene is a pain.

Do what you want and do what you need.

16. Shame has no place in the bathroom.

If you've read my previous post, you know what I mean.

I've said it in this post, it's okay to struggle, to not be perfect, or as perfect as neurotypicals and able-bodied people say we should be. Their criterias are bullcrap.

Shame won't help you to keep up to these unachievable standards. They'll just undermine you.

Also, it's okay if some of what I've said here seems unachievable also. I shared what helps me and some of my friends, but your needs might be different and that's totally okay. Maybe someone will make a post with tips that'll help more? I hope so.

Anyway, you do what you can and you congratulate yourself for it. Every step is an achievement worth of praise.

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coquettecouture · 14 days ago

Text

How to: make 2025 your year!

Now that the first month of the year is coming to an end and gym memberships are once again being forgotten, here are some tips to keep you motivated and inspired so you can stay focused on making 2025 your year!

Make a vision board!!

If you haven't already, vision boards are a beneficial and aesthetic approach to mapping out your goals, aspirations, and new year’s resolutions regardless of the season! Simply looking at your vision board could guide you into staying on track for tasks you may not be very motivated to tackle.

(Fun fact! ୨୧ — Vision boards are scientifically proven to help you achieve more goals!)

Whether it be physical or digital, vision boards are an essential to staying on track with your resolutions. Some of my favorite apps to print off pictures are FreePrints and Shutterfly. For those of you who might not want to pay for prints, a fun and easy alternative is Picsart collages! Setting your vision board as your wallpaper can remind you of your goals every time you pick up for phone, and if you’re anything like me, that’s pretty often!

Curate an "affirmations" playlist!

Some things on this list are both effective and fun to do, such as making playlists! One of my favorite things to do in my free time is make playlists for every vibe, mood and aesthetic under the sun, and the new year is no exception! New year's is the perfect time to revamp and turn into the best you that you can be. What better way to enter the new year than with a brand new life soundtrack?

Songs such as Just like magic - Ariana Grande, Greedy - Tate Mcrae, Pretty Girl Rock - Keri Hilson, Mantra - Jennie and Feather - Sabrina Carpenter are perfect additions to curating your stereotypical 'it girl' playlist. However what songs work for me may not work for you, so be sure to add what makes you motivated; not what TikTok says you should be motivated by!

Organize your life on Notion!

Personally, Notion is one of my favorite apps for productivity! When used correctly, it can be very motivating. From reading lists to habit trackers to to-do lists, Notion has it all! The app is perfect for attending to every need you could possibly have, and for girls like me who have zero idea where to start with organizing their life, Notion is a godsend.

The hard part however is actually figuring out how to make it aesthetic. My favorite way around this is to search and find coquette or dainty templates and make them my own. That way, I can still have something that screams me but without spending half of my day trying to figure out how to make a sentence italicized! Once you find a template perfect for your needs, simply tweak it to fit your tastes, plug in your information and you're done! You're officially organized!

Participate in some good old retail therapy!

Now this "step" may be a tad self indulgent, but hey if it works and keeps you motivated what's the harm in that?! The way I think of it, is a reward system. Say it's finals week and you really don't want to study but Sol De Janeiro just released a new perfume that you really want! It might not be the best motivation in the school department but who are we kidding? Motivation is motivation as long as it's not hurting anyone!

Even for working out, buying some cute new workout attire might be the only thing that gets you into keeping that gym membership. Who am I to judge? I don't even have a gym membership! If buying a little reward or sweet treat keeps you on the right track and focused on your goals, by all means CoquetteCouture has your back!

Surround yourself with people who are motivated too!!

I cannot stress enough how important it is to find the company you want to become. The saying "birds of a feather flock together" is truer than some would care to admit. My best friend is my ultimate lifeline, every time I am in my own head she is there pulling me out of a funk. Which is exactly what some of you need! If your friends are all cutting class, ignoring homework etc. of course you're going to fall into the same habits!

My friends are some of the kindest and most hardworking people I know. (Totally not biased.) They do so much for me which in turn makes me want to be at a level where I can return it, and you can't do that if you've slipped into a massive funk! Doing things together, whether on the phone or in person can relieve so much of that pressure knowing you have someone to rant to if needed. Find a friend group like mine and I guarantee you'll notice results, not only in productivity but in your mental state too!

Surround yourself in inspiration!

Romanticization is the key to living your dream life and making every day feel productive. Waking up in the morning in a room filled with your personality is a blessing! Having a device to even read this blog is a blessing! Not every day is going to be full of good moments, but with the right attitude every day can be a good one! Surrounding yourself with things that make you feel ready to conquer the world can do wonders to the way you view things!

My personal favorite ways to romanticize my life is pretending to be the very person I am manifesting to be reality. Act like your goals are something you already have and watch the motivation to actually have it flow through you. Watching youtubers with similar aesthetics to mine definitely help certain goals of mine! My top 3 currently are Layla Blue, Adelala and Fernanda Ramirez! However, I would like to say that inspiration and envy are very different things! You should not be surrounding yourself with influencers that you feel compelled to compare yourself to! You are amazing as you are, and jealousy is a disease you do not want to catch! Remember we are all human just trying to make it through life, and just because your life isn't identical to the ones on Instagram does not mean you are without in any way! Be authentically you, not inauthentically someone else!

Perfect your routine and stick to it!

Now for the most dreaded part of this guide... making a routine. Being a Pink Pilates it girl is much easier in theory than it is in reality. Nevertheless, to truly make 2025 a year of actually completing goals instead of tossing them February 1st some discipline is necessary. This is coming from the queen of procrastination! Motivation is one thing, but discipline is a whole other spectrum. Discipline is the most important step of this whole list, and finding it is easier said than done. Here are my personal tips to keep that side of you focused on the bigger picture! ୨୧ - Picking a bedtime and sticking to it! (With a few exceptions, we're all human)୨୧ - Deciding what your morning and night routine constants are! (Ex. My morning routine consists of: Gratitude journaling, Brushing my teeth/Skincare, Breakfast etc) ୨୧ - Not only have friends to hold you accountable but hold yourself accountable!!୨୧ - Use your playlist to boost your spirits!

In conclusion...

Being an it girl is a mindset, and truly making this your year is going to look different for every single one of you reading this but I hope my guide can help you manage the struggles of even getting started! Because let's be honest, wanting to start your journey is being better is first step of organizing your life! Please let me know down below if you take any of the advice given, and link your playlists if you make any! If there's any specific ideas or requests you guys wanna see don't hesitate to send me a submission or comment down below! I love you divas, stay hot.

My It Girl Playlist

My Favorite Notion Templates

COQUETTE TEMPLATE ‘23 samantha’s notion • ༉‧

https://www.notion.so/Pretty-little-corner-Template-1832837814af8000b978c14bb57aa285?pvs=4

https://www.notion.so/1832837814af805791d4ca102419cfcf?pvs=4

https://www.notion.so/student-dashboard-1832837814af804b9303dd2a9f3c79f3?pvs=4

https://www.notion.so/Viana-Rose-s-Planner-1832837814af804594a1f97074333729?pvs=4

https://www.notion.so/Home-1832837814af80fa9ec5fd2582286053?pvs=4

https://www.notion.so/home-template-1832837814af80f087c4ed0df408ac5b?pvs=4

https://www.notion.so/1832837814af8064967bd24be9252aba?pvs=4

credit to @dollywons for the dividers! thank you!

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pinkacademiaprincess · 1 year ago

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Hi! I’m about to start uni in October (law)

Can you give me a list of to-dos to mentally and physically prepare for this new journey? Like, things to bring, items to buy, notebooks etc 🥹💘

Operation Straight-A Student: A Comprehensive Guide to Prepping for a Successful Uni Experience 🎀📚💗✏️

ty for the ask! i'm not a law student, so this is gonna be more general uni advice that i hope can apply for you. best of luck in your journey, you're gonna do amazing things!!

step no. 1: plan, plan, plan!

for me, being organized & prepping ahead of time has been so helpful. even if things get a bit hectic or tough, having a routine to fall back on is key. here's how i do it!

google calendar

as soon as i have my class schedule, i input all my class meeting times on google calendar. then, based on whatever free space is left over, i allocate time for schoolwork and studying. here's the schedule i designed for this upcoming term:

make sure your study/ classwork time accounts for whatever online courses you're taking too. you should also include blocks for work, club meetings, etc. if they're recurring. i have google calendar linked to my phone so i get notifs for each time block.

planner

i recommend having a good planner. whether this is online or physical, depending on your preference, a weekly planner of your own is helpful for staying on top of work & having peace of mind.

the planner i use is the moleskine weekly planner. here is what it looks like inside:

on the left side i write all the tasks i have on each weekday (similar to the google calendar). on the right side, i list all the tasks i have to complete during that given week - i open the syllabi for all my classes and input whatever hw, assignments, projects, etc. are upcoming. i write them down in a checklist along with the date they're due. then, during my study blocks, i can check this page & decide what to work on!

note-taking & classwork

you should also have supplies for note-taking. some ppl prefer to take digital notes, so this means using your laptop or a tablet & stylus. personally, i like to take handwritten notes, so i bring loose-leaf lined paper & pencils to my lectures. i write the class name & date as the header for each page. when i'm done taking notes, i write the key topics in the top left-hand corner of the pager (in "no-man's land") so i can easily find the notes on specific topics when i'm flipping through them.

in terms of classwork, i recommend having a folder for each of your classes where you can store notes, assignments, tests, etc. i know some people use one big binder for all classes, but if you have a separate folder for each, you don't have to carry them all around on days when you only have two or three classes. i like the brand five star bc the folders are very durable and i've had the same ones all throughout uni!

for me, i've never been a huge notebook person b/c i like to keep my subjects separate so i rarely fill up an entire notebook. you can buy one to start with, and see once school starts if you think you need more!

other supplies

in terms of supplies, i'm honestly pretty minimalistic. the necessities for me are my planner, a folder & loose-leaf paper, and a pencil pouch with plenty of pens & pencils. i also bring my laptop & charger with me to school bc i use that for my online classes.

i do enjoy having cute supplies! i have a cute pink pencil pouch, glittery mechanical pencils, and fun pens. i also put stickers all over my laptop to give it a personal touch. i did a bit of embroidery on my backpack as well. you don't need to spend tons of money on aesthetic supplies, especially if it's something you won't have for long. but, finding simple ways to add a personal touch to your items can be fun & motivating!

step no. 2: make an action plan

i feel like it's easy to tell yourself you wanna do certain things or be a certain person during school. for example, i always want to be super studious, outgoing, & involved, but i used to struggle sm to actually do that. instead of only thinking of how you want to be, create actual steps/ tasks for yourself. here are my action items for inspo:

sit in the front row of every class - this can be daunting, but in my uni experience, wherever you sit in the first week becomes your (un)official assigned seat. get to class early, take a deep breath, and sit yourself down at the front! you'll be forcing yourself to stay at the front, but i promise it's fine! i really prefer this b/c if you & the prof get to class early you can chat a bit. also, when i wanna participate, i can speak at my regular volume & they'll hear me (rather than if i'm in the back row and had to scream). if nothing else, you'll become a familiar face!

attend office hours for each class at least once - i sometimes felt nervous/ anxious to go to office hours and talk to the professors & ta. but when you do it once, you realize they truly just want to help! getting to know the ppl who grade your assignments can be super useful. they might give you advice or info you don't get in lectures. plus, they are super knowledgeable!

raise your hand once per week - this forces you to be engaged with the content. i used to have such horrible social anxiety & the thought of speaking up in class & getting an answer wrong was my worst nightmare. and when i set this rule & began forcing myself to participate, i did make mistakes. but guess what... everyone moves on immediately. you might feel like the world is ending. it haunted me for weeks after 😢 but no one else cares! in the end, ppl will only remember that you were confident enough to raise your hand & speak up, not what you said. pls don't let your education suffer just b/c you're afraid some classmates might judge you! if raising your hand to answer problems is too daunting, start with asking clarifying questions & slowly build up to whatever you're able to do.

start a conversation with a classmate - having classmates that you're friendly with is so important. if you miss a lecture, need help on a concept, etc. you'll have someone you can turn to. and that's the least of it - you can end up making long-lasting friends! yes, it's scary to talk to a stranger. so, force yourself to do it as early as possible in the semester. an easy one - if you see someone sitting by an empty seat, ask if that seat is taken. if not, yay! it's go time 😊 sit by them and find something else to talk about - give them a (genuine & non-creepy) compliment, ask them if they've seen the syllabus, ask if they know the prof, etc. just something to get the convo started!! figure out their name, major, and other stuff too. once you've talked with them long enough to feel like you're getting along (whether that's after one class or multiple) ask for their number/ discord/ whatever so you can keep in touch! if they share your major, you should keep in contact with them b/c you might have other classes together in the future. but, again, in the best-case scenario, you have a new friend!

wear a cute outfit once per week - sometimes i would get a bit embarrassed or self-conscious to dress up for class. i forced myself to do it once per week, starting the first week of class, to set a precedent for myself. slowly i eased my way into wearing cute, fun outfits every day! no one is judging you as much as you are judging yourself, so have fun & be true to you.

step no. 3: study smarter, not harder

attending class is one thing, but you've got to put in the effort to study if you truly want to succeed. but, not all study methods will work for every single person. figure out how to study so you don't waste time with methods that don't work for you.

determine your learning style(s)

there are a few widely accepted learning styles. you've probably tried all of them throughout your time at school, so think back on which learning experiences have been most and least successful for you. then, connect them back to these learning styles to figure out ways you can most effectively study.

visual: if you learn by seeing info visually, such as with maps, graphs, diagrams, charts, etc.

auditory: if you learn by getting info in auditory form, aka when it's heard or spoken

kinesthetic: aka hands-on, if you learn by doing & applying

reading/writing: if you learn info best when it’s in words, aka by writing it down or reading it

you might find that multiple of these learning styles are effective for you, maybe there's one that sticks out as the most similar to your style of learning, or maybe one that just doesn't work for you. now, you don't need to assign yourself one and forego the rest, but you can adjust the time you spend on various study methods based on how well they work for you.

for me, i've realized over time that i am NOT a reading learner. in high school i would diligently read all the textbook assignments, spending hours getting through the chapters, only to retain none of it & do poorly on assignments & tests.

on the other hand, i respond really well to kinesthetic learning - when applying concepts hands-on, such as with practice problems, i have a much better understanding of concepts & retention.

fast forward to college - i spend very little time on assigned readings. in fact, sometimes i skip them all together 🫢 b/c if i spend an hour reading the textbook but retain none of it, that's an hour wasted. especially if the content from the textbook is going to line up with the lecture, i'm much better off paying attention & taking good notes in class, and then spending my study time doing practice problems. if i really do need to read the textbook, i have to make it interactive for myself - i answer the questions at the end of the chapter, take notes, quiz myself, etc.

now, my advice here isn't to skip textbook readings!! that's not something i recommend b/c for so many people, it IS effective and helpful! when it comes to studying, play on your strengths. don't try to force yourself to learn in a way that doesn't work for your brain. make modifications & prioritize your learning! here is an awesome guide to different methods that work for the various learning styles.

find your ideal study environment

you can also maximize the effectiveness of your studying based on the environment you're in. if you can decide what factors help or hinder your studying abilities, it will help you decide where you should make your go-to study spot!

at home or in public? sometimes, studying in a public place can be unproductive. it might make you feel more stressed (like the sensation of having your teacher look over your shoulder during a test 🫣) or distracted. for me, studying in public is actually useful b/c i'm less likely to get disctracted. if i'm in my room i might get tempted to open up tumblr or pinterest, but in public i feel like ppl might see me get off topic which deters me LOL. however, studying at home is nice b/c you're in the comfort of your own personal space - you can change into pjs, cuddle your pet, grab a snack, etc. i do a mix of studying in public & at home b/c i feel like they both have their benefits

quiet or noisy? do you study better in a silent environment, or do you like some sound/ white noise? personally, i cannot deal with ANY noise when i'm trying to study, it totally breaks my focus 😭but some people like the ambient/ white noise of a coffee shop

music or silence? similar to the last one, does having music help you stay focused, or distract you? i know ppl will swear by different things - classical music, upbeat music, songs in different languages, etc. again, i personally cannot handle any sounds 😅 but if music keeps you alert, plan accordingly - have earbuds or go to a coffee shop that has a playlist going

nature or indoors? maybe you find it stuffy to be indoors all day & studying out in the open air helps you stay grounded and calm. on the flipside, being exposed to the elements might just make you more distracted. if you like studying outdoors, try public parks with benches, and also see if your campus has outdoor seating areas. some libraries do too. for a happy medium, you can study someplace with large windows/ nice view.

independent or collaborative? do you study better on your own or in groups? you can join a study group or go to office hours to get a sense of studying in a group setting vs. alone. group studying can help hold you accountable, make it more interactive, and keep you focused. that being said, i def prefer studying independently. i like to go at my own pace, and tbh i get easily distracted w/ others and will begin to just chit chat

based on how you answer those questions, you can decide what your ideal study environment is & pick a go-to place! for me, based on my preferences, my most effective study environment going to the library alone or studying in my room.

that's all for this post! i feel it got very long but i had so many tips to share. there's no "one size fits all" guide to navigating uni life. but i think everyone can benefit from prepping in advance & being mentally prepared. knowing your own strengths + having a plan of attack will guide you in stressful/ uncertain times!

overall, take the time to get to know yourself & figure out how you can be at your very best. apply whichever bits of advice resonate, and ignore anything that's not gonna serve you. this is YOUR journey!

and remember, even with all the planning in the world, things can go unexpectedly. you are more than equipped to deal with whatever life throws your way! when you are faced with unexpected things - pause & think, assess the situation, & determine your best course of action. above all, YOU'VE GOT THIS! 💗

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aspd-culture · 5 months ago

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I wish I had the stereotypical aspd that empaths talk about. The calculative and well groomed businessman who’s incredibly independent even at the cost of other people.

I’m honestly a useless loser. I don’t do anything for anybody yet am livid when they don’t do something for me, 80% of the time I forget or don’t do the tasks I’ve been asked to even if it’s the simplest thing. I pass it off to other people. I get threatened by my parents constantly, called useless and a lazy fuck. I’m not motivated for anything, not employed and the thought of it makes me want to rip my skin off or rip their faces off whenever they mention it. It feels like another extension of control. Everything feels like an extension of control and an excuse to assume power over me.

People in my life are moving ahead of me no problem and I’m still stuck on my ass debating whether to break everything in my parents house when they use my lack of employment and symptoms to make fun of me. My friends talk about it like it’s just so simple to suck it up and march forward and I loathe them for it because they don’t understand.

Maybe this is just me being a whiny brat or a bad person

No, this is you struggling with being in a toxic environment - one that will continue to make you feel like this for as long as your parents act that way towards you. It's not possible to heal and recover and learn to process your symptoms and change your behavior in a toxic situation like that. It's likely keeping you in survival mode.

Truly I think in that situation the best way to get yourself to do the things you would need to do to leave the toxic situation is out of spite. Spite can do a lot for pwASPD when we harness it to use for good, since our PD is so reactive to it. If you think to yourself as though you're talking to them "ha, yeah okay sure I'm getting a job just like you wanted right? Except I'm doing it to get the hell away from you", you might find yourself more able to get to do those things. It's not guaranteed to work, but it's something that might help.

And, if it makes you feel any better, prosocials don't actually like us in that stereotype either AND generally ppl who fit that stereotype are in some other way coping destructively. No one who actually has ASPD is managing to not struggle at all with it bc a disorder can only be diagnosed if it significantly and negatively impacts your life. It's important to remember the stereotypes of this demonized disorder are made out to be supervillains - hyper capable beings who choose to be monsters - bc otherwise the prosocials have to admit that they're bullying people who are hurt and wish we could stop dealing with our symptoms just as much as they wish we didn't have them if not more. It's not fun for them anymore if they think about our actual struggles with ASPD, so they try and make it sound like we're having the time of our lives when none of us do. I promise you're far from alone.

It's also worth noting that if you find yourself entirely unable to work without your mental health destructing, that that's called a disability and there are things you can do to either get accommodations or potentially payment for it bc unlike your parents by the sounds of it, the government understands that mental health is a valid reason one might not be able to work.

You're not a useless loser - you're a person with a disorder that is known to be potentially disabling who is being mistreated and stuck in a toxic environment - at least going by this post.

Plain text below the cut:

You're not a useless loser - you're a person with a disorder that is known to be potentially disabling who is being mistreated and stuck in a toxic environment - at least going by this post.

#aspd-culture-is #aspd culture is #aspd culture #actually aspd #aspd #aspd awareness #actually antisocial #antisocial personality disorder #aspd traits #anons welcome

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prettieinpink · 1 year ago

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Hi lanny! Could you provide a guide on how to get into working out? 💗💖

GUIDE TO STARTING TO WORK OUT

hi lele 💝☀️ hope this guide helps you w your journey!!

The first step to working out is setting goals related to exercise, not physical appearance. Avoid things like fat loss, muscle gain, smaller waist, bigger glutes and so on.

While you can make this a separate goal, the reason why I don’t want you to associate it with exercise is that we then allow the way our body looks to dictate whether we believe the exercise we’re doing is good enough.

Exercise and body aesthetics are two different things. Exercise is a means of nourishing our body, soul and mind, while body aesthetics is how ‘good’ our body looks.

On that topic, I want you to stop focusing on your physical appearance when starting to exercise and I want you to start implementing a new mindset shift about your body. Instead of seeing your body as something to look at, appreciate it for what it can do.

For example, your hands create meals, hug your loved ones and help you with essential tasks. Your legs help you to get around, especially to your favourite places. Your stomach helps with digesting all the yummy food you eat.

Some goal ideas:

Lift 15kg+

Be able to do a plank for more than 5 minutes

Learn how to do a push-up

Be able to run on the treadmill for 30 minutes

Gain more stamina and exercise for longer

Moving on, set a time each day in which you prioritise exercise. This can be for however long you want and the times can vary daily.

So, during this period, you are not allowed to do anything else other than exercise. It doesn’t even have to be a specific exercise either, if you’re feeling lazy and laps walking around the house is what feels best, do it.

However, avoid obsessing over working out and losing yourself to exercise. This kills motivation, in exercise starts to feel like another obligation in the day and not a privilege.

Now, you have to choose what exercise is right for you. I don’t believe you’re limited to one exercise, if you want you can have more than 1.

Gym – Perfect for a mix of strength and cardio, however not the best option if you want to exercise for free.

Yoga – Tones muscles while also being a mindful experience. Low low-impact, but recommend doing it after cardio.

Cycling – Tones the legs and the glutes, but cycling may not be the best idea depending on where you live.

running/jogging – Strengthens muscles and bones, however, if you don’t have flat areas, may not be the best idea.

Pilates – Improves flexibility and tone, while still being low impact (still may be challenging).

Weightlifting – Makes you stronger and boosts your metabolism, best done at the gym.

There are plenty of ways to exercise that I haven’t mentioned here, but these are just ideas so you can research the ones that suit you best.

I recommend talking to a doctor if you haven’t done exercise in a long time, as that can open up the possibility of injury.

Then, once we have our goals, times and what we’re doing, we need to exercise. Implementing exercise in your life is best done slowly.

Start with simple, and smaller versions of workouts, even if you think you can do more. Do this for about a week, then try to extend yourself with something harder. If it is too hard, don’t be afraid to go back a step.

Make it fun, create a motivating exercise playlist or watch your favourite TV show while doing it.

However, the main thing about exercising is that every day you are not always going to feel like it, but that is when we have to discipline ourselves, talk to the mirror and say; ‘Me exercising is a privilege, I get to nourish my body because I love and respect it so much’.

This was the best way I disciplined myself into working out. Treating it like a privilege and something that is very benefical, rather than a painstakingly challenging activity.

Or, instead, you can visualise what you would look and feel like if you continue like this for the next 5 years.

#becoming that girl #green juice girl #clean girl #wellness #wellness era #wellbeing #healthy girl #healthy living #strength #exercise #exercices #gym #prettieinpink #pink pilates princess #pink pilates girl #wonyoungism #pilates aesthetic #workout motivation #health is wealth

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fishnapple · 3 months ago

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As a professional tarot reader, I imagine you got a busy life outside of that whether it's another job or social obligations. I like how you conduct yourself both on your blog and when making personal interpretation reports for others. How do you tend to manage yourself, schedule, and energy to make the creative-spiritual content that you do? You seem to genuinely enjoy what you are doing. 🥰 Do you have any general or practical advice for people thinking of starting out in becoming a reader for others? 🤔

Hi, thank you for such a lovely message💓🌰 (I feel like sending some chestnuts). Somehow the word "conduct" reminds me so much of Saturn, and then Saturn reminds me of chestnuts.

Your question took longer to reply to than I expected. As I wrote, I realised that this is quite a broad topic. If I were to write to my heart's content then it would turn into an essay, so I will try to keep it concise as much as possible 👀

A bit of context: I quit my corporate job that used to take up more than half the time of day. After being a corporate clown for 9 years, now I just live as a hermit and do freelance jobs. Maybe I will stay as a hermit for the next 9 years then begin another journey, who knows. I'm not that good at self management, but my life right now is pretty simple, so it's easier to manage. I will share some of my personal experiences and observations about time management, creativity and spirituality here:

Time

Routine: Doing readings at a certain time of the day. I just found out recently that I do divination reading best at night time, rather than during daytime. I keep a general timetable in my head so I can have a general idea of when to do something (and not following it).

Checklist: I also keep a checklist of tasks I need to complete on time (PACs, personal readings), the feeling of ticking off boxes can be pretty satisfying 😆.

Space out readings: For PACc, I only read one group/day to keep the energy and length balanced between each group (if I do all the groups in one go, later group's reading length will suffer). For personal readings, I do the opposite, I tend to read all the questions in one go, but won't read for more than one person in one day.

Productivity

Enjoyment: Are you doing readings for your own enjoyment or as a duty? Do you genuinely like the questions, the topics? Do you feel comfortable doing readings for certain topics, for certain people? I don't think divination can be something that you can force yourself to do, especially when reading for other people.

Motivation: What are you trying to achieve when doing readings? for fun, for practice, for gaining knowledge, for digging out people's deep dark secrets, for money or for other reasons? Being clear on what motivates you will give you a better direction.

Perseverance: I like how every time I ask Tarot about my path, I always got the 8 of pentacles. Routine practice is good, don't compare yourself with other people, keep your gaze on what you're doing.

Guilt & Fear: I have productivity guilt sitting in the dark corner, ready to nag and whip any time I dare to be idle. Thanks to this, I was actually able to do lots of things. Doing something creative is also a good way to relieve stress for me, so the more stressed I am, the more productive I become *quietly, begrudgingly mumbling a "thank you" to Saturn aspects*. Guilt and fear, sometimes, can be such great motivators, with the right dose of course. (on the topic of fear, I once asked my friend if they didn't have any fears at all, what are the things that they would do? My friend answered "nothing, If I didn't fear anything, I wouldn't do anything at all")

Creativity/ Energy

Creative energy pool: Not to be confused with general energy pool. I don't know if other people feel the same, but for me, creative energy has a definite allotment for each day. If I use up that energy for one creative activity then I can't do another creative activity in that same day. So cramming many creative activities in one day can be counter intuitive. Doing divination, in my opinion, can also be a form of creative act, as it's about translating the messages inside you into a visible form of communication. So be mindful of that aspect.

The cyclical nature of creative energy: Some people are able to maintain a constant flow of energy, but in my case, it can be sporadic, it waxes and wanes like the moon so if I ever find myself feeling uninspired, I will just leave it and do other things, because I know it will come back later. If you find a topic or a question unappealing, maybe leave it for a while, read other topics then come back to it later.

Energy level: This is about the general energy level. Each person will have a different peak time for doing something during the day. Find out about yours and ultilise it. The tone and quality of a reading will reflect your energy, doing a reading when you're tired or physically unwell will have a negative impact on both the reading and you, not to mention the receiver of that reading if you read for others.

Interaction with energies: Be aware of your interaction with other people's energy, reading for others is a two way connection. Having your moods and thoughts be influenced by other's energy is real. Some will energise you, others can leave a bad taste but don't let that discourage you.

In the end, the most helpful advice I can think of is take it easy, keep doing what you enjoy and keep it fun & meaningful (even the soul searching, deep introspection readings needn't to be all dark and heavy, facing your demons can be like those dark fantasy novels, but it can also be slice of life comedy, none is less meaningful than the other)

I hope this can be helpful somehow. Have a great weekend ahead. 🌼🎐

#ask me questions #tarot #tips #self management #productivity #creativity

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beelsbignaturals · 2 years ago

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Hello!! Since baking is constantly mentioned in one way or another in the game, how would each of the brothers be as a baking partner? Maybe you’re baking a cake for someone else’s birthday or just to share with the HoL - who’s good, who’s bad, who’s messy, who sneaks some of the batter (rhetorical, it’s Beel) etc?

AN: Sorry fellow Luci kissers he is a bitch and we love him. Also @ Levi anon just know I see u and I am going to try my damnedest to write smut and let it see the light of day

Anyways baking time!

👨‍🍳THE GREAT DEVILDOM BAKE OFF🍰

Lucifer is insufferable (affectionate). He will basically take over. Everything is measured exactly. He makes little to no mess yet cleans the counters every five seconds… and no, you can't add chocolate chips. The recipe doesn't call for it! Do not bake with him unless you can deal with his "No Fun. Only Task at Hand." mindset. Fun fact! This is all just a way to disguise the fact that Lucifer is really bad at baking! He will blame whoever he is baking with because "I followed the instructions step by step so it can't be my fault."

Mammon is an absolute disaster in the kitchen. There are eggshells in the cake batter, a thin layer of icing sugar covering the entire kitchen, and don't think you are getting away without a food fight. The cake will be burnt because he was more interested in getting batter in your hair than setting a timer like you had asked. Just slather it in frosting and call it a day.

Leviathan can be coaxed out of his room to make anime related treats and anime related treats only. As for how good he is at baking… It takes a couple of tries, but Levi is a quick learner and will get the hang of things pretty fast! He has turned the stand mixer on too high once or twice and maybe added too much vanilla, but at the end of the day, you have some decent snacks from your efforts.

With Satan, it's organized chaos. Flour has spilled all over the floor, you impulsively added mint extract that the recipe did not call for, and the cookbook you were using is nearly unreadable. But you know where everything is and have all the right ingredients. Unlike Mammon and Belphie, Satan will actually clean up after himself without complaining. He is a menace, but he knows what enough is enough.

Asmodeus is surprisingly good at icing cupcakes. He makes a perfect swirl every time. That said, while the things he bakes are pretty… they don't taste the best. It's not bad, but it certainly isn't good. I'm sorry, Asmo, but your baking skills are mid. At least you got some cute Devilgram pics! Asmo will also insist on wearing the cutest apron he can find and scream when he gets batter on it.

Listen, we all know Beelzebub will eat the raw ingredients, cookie dough, and the finished product. Your best bet is to have snacks prepared beforehand for Beel to munch on. He really tries to restrain himself, but can you blame him? He's just a hungry little guy! Beel will 100% ask to lick the spoon, and the bowl, and the beater, and probably the counter… you get the point. But! If you have enough ammo (pre-made snacks) and patience, he's actually really good at baking!

Belphegor is the laziest motherfucker around. Don't fool yourself into thinking you are using anything but a box of cake mix with Belphie. If he has some sort of motivation, he'll try but… just don't expect any miracles. He's basically the opposite of Asmo when it comes to baking. The cake is the ugliest thing you've ever seen but DAMN does it taste good. As long as you don't let him drag you off into a cuddle session while it's still in the oven. Because at that point it's guaranteed to be burnt. Sorry.

#om! shall we date #obey me #obey me mc #obey me x reader #shrimp writes #obey me fanfic #obey me headcanons #obey me lucifer x reader #obey me mammon x reader #obey me levi x reader #obey me satan x reader #obey me asmo x reader #obey me beel x reader #obey me belphie x reader

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letsberealgenz · 11 months ago

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how to exit your lazy era — level up, stay motivated and make 2024 your best year🕯️

Firstly why do we even get stuck in our lazy era?

no motivation

you just faced a major failure

not seeing the results you want after working for so long

a way of procrastinating

an easy way to put away all your important task aside

“It’s easy to not do anything in life. It doesn’t even require any effort whatsoever.”

How to overcome this?

Plan your days earlier

Honestly we often hear people giving all sort of tips and tricks to be productive, but the thing is nothing works unless you have a vision for how your day is going to look like. Didn’t they say this?

“Visualization is the key to manifestation.”

2. Start your day with a boost of motivation

This is coming from a personal experience of mine. The only way I overcome my morning sickness was actually by quickly hitting the play button of my favorite motivational podcast as soon as I switch off my alarm. Now it feels like an autopilot mode. For real, try it out.

“Motivation is what gets you started. Habit is what keeps you going.” — Jim Ryun

3. Do what you love first thing first

Game-changer. It is one of the prime reason why I LOVE (not like) but LOVE getting up early after discovering the main hack of morning routine which is to do something that truly excites you to your very core.

It could be painting, reading, dancing, journaling, writing, singing, working out, walking, sitting outside sipping your favorite coffee, walking your dog, or literally not even doing anything. Whatever that soothes you, calms your soul and rejuvenates your being. BOOM! That’s exactly what you need to do as soon as you’re up.

For me personally, I love meditating, reading while sipping my coffee and just spending time with nature. The serenity and tranquility can’t be put into words to be honest!

“Slow morning is the recipe to my productivity for real.”

4. Sweating it out

Have you ever been in a situation (I'm sure we all have been in this one) where your body feels sluggish after lunch probably in the late noon? YES! It feels so horrible like you can’t keep your eyes open without consuming doses of caffeine.

Plus working from home is becoming a norm after the pandemic, therefore being stagnant is becoming more of a common trait that binds all of us together. Sitting still in front of your PC, sending emails through your handphone, recording content and et cetera.

This constant stagnation is actually preventing the daily movement our body needs to rejuvenate. Therefore, when we don’t get it that’s when the laziness kicks in. We do know the root problem right now and the root solution would be to move your body as often as you can.

Working out doesn’t need to fit into this standard practice social media has eluded us all by the frame of being in the gym. Honestly there’s more than that.

Hike

Run

Jog

Stroll

Swim

Sauna

As long as you are sweating, you’re good my friend.

5. Vision board

Vision board is one of the easiest, accessible and FUN thing you can do to get yourself out of the rut. I don’t think so we need to go all around again to get the gist of vision board but it would be incomplete if I don’t share this secret with you.

Make a physical and a digital board. The physical one plays a role to be sitting in a space where you spend most of your time at. For instance, your office, work-studio, hostel and et cetera.

And the digital one is as important as the physical one because most of the time we are indulged or I would say obliged to our gadjets these days. Therefore, by setting your vision board as your lock screen wallpaper is definitely going to give you the sense of awakening your mind needs whenever you feel you’re slacking off.

PS: Pinterest is a great tool you can start off with.

6. Use your bank balance as a source of motivation

This is such a good way to actually get you moving. It’s a source of trigger that makes you question yourself like:

How am I supposed to achieve all of my goals on the vision board if I am not taking any sort of action from my side?

That million-dollar home, vacation and experience is not going to come alive if you’re just sitting and wishing for it.

7. Read self help books

I am sure everybody who’s legit on

Medium

platform is an avid-reader. I am not going to speak about the power of books because you know it all. The key is just to pick the right books according to your current life’s situation.

The main gist today is to help you exit your lazy era. So here are some book recommendations from my side.

Atomic Habit by James Clear

Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill

Man’s Search for Meaning Viktor E. Frankl

The Richest Man in Babylon by George S. Clason

Meditations by Marcus Aurelius

The Miracle Equation by Hal Elrod

Psycho-Cybernetics by Maxwell Maltz

The Concise 48 Laws of Power by Robert Greene

The 5 Second Rule by Mel Robbins

Think Like A Monk by Jay Shetty

The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle

Stillness is the key by Ryan Holiday

PS: What’s your favorite self-help book? Reply to this.

Stick till the very end because I am sharing with you the main HACK that nobody talks about.

8. Design your environment in a way that motivates you

We all have heard the phrase how your environment influences you. The least you could do is be conscious of how powerful your social circle is, the people whom you hangout with, the people whom you work with, the people you choose to have relationships with and the place you choose to live in.

It’s these little things that makes the most difference in your life at the end of the day.

9. Step out if that’s what you need

Honestly, a change of environment is what you need sometimes. Our body, out entire being recognizes when we are stuck in the same space for quite some time and this could be the #1 reason why you’ve been procrastinating. Probably you could do this:

Go to your favorite restaurant/café

Work from the library

Honestly choose a spot where you feel you could really maximize your potential and somewhere that actually motivates you to step up. Do better!

10. Allow yourself to be lazy at times

AHHHH! This is the magic pill I was speaking about. I realized nobody seems to tell you this but let’s be real. The only way to exit your lazy era is by giving yourself room to actually be lazy. You can’t expect yourself to transform overnight. You can’t expect to be productive 24/7. You can’t expect yourself to meet all the high standards you’ve set yourself up to.

And I want you to know this. It’s okay to be lazy sometimes. It’s okay to catch yourself not doing anything sometimes. But always remember this.

You shall only reward yourself to be lazy when you’ve absolutely fulfilled the promise you’ve made. The tasks you need to complete. The assignments you need to submit. The thesis you need to work on. The presentation you need to deliver.

Trust me if you implement all of the above habits, you would realize this:

“It’s the small changes in your daily life that you needed all along for your long-term success.”

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