#being human is being imperfect being flawed and making mistakes
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I love arcane because we saw that every single person (except maybe Ekko) made unforgiveable mistakes. What Jinx did was irredeemable. What Cait did was irredeemable. What do we do with people who make irredeemable mistakes? Where do we put them? Why do we keep pretending like we should puritanically erase all misdeeds? I think that we can look at the TRC in the aftermath of apartheid in South Africa. Obviously one side had more power and committed more atrocities than the other. But, despite there being countless numbers of atrocities, the country acknowledged that more bloodshed, more acts of terror and oppression would never end unless there was radical forgiveness for all sides. While I do not personally believe they were equally blameless, there becomes a point of no return, where there are no winners. At some point we have to accept our losses and walk away and be okay with the fact that sometimes people can be evil.
The whole season was Viktor advocating for a eugenicist's dream world. Everyone, fully evolved, perfect. No more war, or discrimination, disability, or poverty. But throughout arcane, every person fucked up. They fell short, they made stupid decisions, they let the people they loved down. But even though they were extremely flawed, they got to make their own decisions. They chose to do better, Cait lost an eye taking down Ambessa, Vi went back for Jinx again and again after trying to kill her, Jinx fought for Vi, Jayce used Hexcore to create the Machine Herald and then destroyed it. But Viktor's perspectives stemmed from seeing himself as a deficit. This brilliant inventor, and lovely man, who, because of his perspectives as a man with a bad leg, who was born into poverty, joined Piltover and saw the topsiders as the polished, perfect facades they carried around with them and thought he needed to be like them. He wanted to rid himself of his imperfections. These imperfections, which motivated him to want better for people like him. He was driven by empathy, by his own perceived short comings. But in reality, taking away everyone's imperfections leads to these faceless, uniform, manufactured robot people.
Wanting to tweak people, to do away with these imperfections robs them of who they are, their personhood, their identity. Humanity is a condition, and there is no such thing as a normal person, that doesn't exist, especially with circumstances as complex as theirs.
okay. let’s talk about jayce’s monologue, since people are calling him ableist.
for context, not that it matters: I have a significant mobility disability and a progressive chronic illness which, even when managed, can kill me. I’m not in exactly the same boat as viktor since my disease isn’t terminal, but I’ve had very similar experiences to him. this shapes my perception of him and of this storyline.
this is the monologue:
You’ve always wanted to cure what you thought were weaknesses. Your leg. Your disease. But you were never broken, Viktor. There’s beauty in imperfections. They made you what you are. An inseparable piece of everything I admired about you.
first, it should be noted that “what you thought were weaknesses” is not the same thing as “things that are good.” jayce is not saying that viktor’s disease is or was a good thing. what he is saying is that he admired (loved) everything that viktor was, which included the things viktor thought made him a burden or a problem. remember also that jayce almost doomed the world because he couldn’t let viktor die; he would never imply that viktor dying was a good thing.
the next question, then, is whether viktor sees himself as a burden or not. I think it’s implied that he does — it’s certainly not unrealistic to think that viktor might have come to view himself, or at least his disease, as a burden and a flaw. disabled people often view ourselves that way either because of internalized ableism or because society constantly tells us that we’re burdens and that our bodies are abnormal and wrong. viktor displays behaviors that indicate internalized ableism, including hiding the fact that he’s coughing up blood from jayce the first few times it happens and generally refusing to be in the public eye in a way that is self-effacing and not just him being private. yes, he says in act 1 of season 1 that he believes in himself, but he does also call himself a cripple in a dismissive way in that same scene; also, he doesn’t have the disease at that point. arguably the entire scene where he runs despite clearly being in pain is an example of his internalized ableism, but that’s another post.
more evidence for viktor’s perception of himself being negative is that he clearly has a sense that he doesn’t deserve to be loved (specifically by jayce, but maybe also in general). we see this when he asks jayce why he’s still persisting in saving him. we see this with his generally self-effacing behavior. we see this with the fact that in all of season 1, the only person he allows to touch him is jayce, and that the only person he actively touches in the entire show is jayce. viktor is reserved and not good with his emotions, which is a huge part of his arc this season. all of these behaviors point to him having a negative self-perception.
I think it’s important to really consider how jayce perceives viktor and how viktor perceives himself. I don’t think this season handled everything perfectly, but I think they handled this very well. viktor has been written with a fullness and complexity that most disabled characters don’t ever get. him being morally grey doesn’t mean he’s “problematic” or “bad representation.” obviously I’m only one disabled person, but I really love jayce and viktor and I think their story is beautifully written.
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i hope that it’s clear that when i say homura “didn’t do anything wrong”, i mean it as more of an inside joke, as it’s also a common and popular fandom joke to say “*insert character* didn’t do anything wrong”.
if i were being honest/serious, it would be much more accurate for me to say that homura did the absolute best she could w what she knew how and what she thought to do, just like all of the other girls. and just like all of the other girls, homura has made mistakes, have done bad things, have had bad thoughts, have been selfish in some ways, etc.
and i honestly don’t even fault them for it, at least not harshly. they are just 14-15 yr old girls, children going thru puberty (a very emotional time) while being put and forced into impossible, traumatizing situations, after all.
and in that sense specifically, i say homura didn’t do anything “wrong”. :)
#i may be homura’s no. 1 fan and defender#but i’m not the kind of person who genuinely believes that my faves are actually perfect#and haven’t done anything wrong#bc that’s just unrealistic and honestly boring#being human is being imperfect being flawed and making mistakes#i think that’s so beautiful in a way you know? idrk how to describe it#madoka magica#mahou shoujo madoka magica#homura akemi#puella magi madoka magica#akemi homura#pmmm homura#madoka magica homura#akemi homura rebellion#akuma homura#devil homura#mahou shoujo madoka magica akemi homura#pmmm akemi homura#madoka magica akemi homura#homura#puella magi madoka magica akemi homura#homura akemi rebellion#pmmm homura akemi#akemi#pmmm rebellion#mahou shoujo madoka magica rebellion#puella magi madoka magica rebellion#madoka magica rebellion#rebellion#homura akemi my beloved ever 🫶🫶🫶
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Give your protagonist flaws.
Some examples of character flaws that can add humanity to your protagonist
Stubbornness
Stubbornness can cause your protagonist to cling to their viewpoints, even when they know they are wrong, often leading to conflicts with others. This trait can create dramatic tension and drive the narrative forward as the protagonist struggles with the consequences of their inflexibility.
Michael, a seasoned detective, refuses to consider new evidence that contradicts his initial theory about a case. His stubbornness leads to conflicts with his team and delays in solving the case.
Impatience
Impatience can make your protagonist demand immediate results, struggling with long-term goals or slower processes. This flaw can add layers to their journey, showing the difficulties they face in learning the value of patience and strategic planning.
Celeste, an aspiring entrepreneur, rushes the development of her new app, pushing her team to the brink. Her impatience results in a product that is not ready for launch, jeopardizing her startup's future.
Self-Doubt
Self-doubt, despite evident skills and achievements, can impair the protagonist's decision-making and actions. This internal conflict adds a relatable dimension, making their journey toward self-acceptance and confidence compelling.
Jordan, a talented musician, constantly questions his abilities despite receiving praise from peers and critics. His self-doubt hinders him from seizing opportunities that could advance his career.
Short Temper
A short temper can cause your protagonist to react aggressively to provocations or challenges, creating interpersonal issues. This flaw can drive subplots involving reconciliation, personal growth, and the learning of emotional control.
Maria, a brilliant surgeon, often lashes out at her colleagues and patients under pressure. Her short temper strains her professional relationships and threatens her career.
Selfishness
Selfishness can lead the protagonist to place their own needs and desires above others, costing them sympathy and support. This flaw can create opportunities for the character to learn empathy and the importance of selflessness.
Chris, a charismatic lawyer, often prioritizes his career over his family, missing important events and neglecting relationships. His selfishness alienates those who care about him, forcing him to reevaluate his choices.
Arrogance
Arrogance can make your protagonist overestimate their abilities and underestimate challenges, leading to dangerous or embarrassing situations. This flaw provides a platform for the character to learn humility and the value of listening to others.
Mandy, a top student, dismisses her classmates' ideas during group projects, believing she knows best. Her arrogance leads to friction and eventually to a significant mistake that humbles her.
Trust Issues
Trust issues can make it difficult for your protagonist to trust others, hindering teamwork and relationships. This trait can create tension and development opportunities as the character learns to open up and rely on others.
Liam, a former spy, finds it hard to trust anyone due to past betrayals. His trust issues complicate his relationships and collaboration with a new team.
Perfectionism
Perfectionism can lead your protagonist to set unrealistically high standards, never being content with their or others' performance. This flaw can drive stories about the struggle for balance and acceptance of imperfection.
Olivia, an artist, is never satisfied with her work, constantly striving for an unattainable level of perfection. Her perfectionism causes stress and burnout, affecting her creativity and personal life.
Fear of Change
Fear of change can make your protagonist cling to the familiar and avoid necessary or beneficial changes. This resistance can create narrative tension as they are forced to confront and adapt to evolving circumstances.
Jamie, a successful business owner, resists adopting new technologies or methods in his company. His fear of change threatens his business's relevance and growth.
Haunted by the Past
Being haunted by past mistakes or traumas can influence your protagonist's present behavior and decisions. This flaw adds a rich backstory and provides a path for emotional development and overcoming personal demons.
Zack, a war veteran, is haunted by his experiences in combat. His traumatic past affects his current relationships and decisions, leading him on a journey of healing and redemption.
#writing#writer on tumblr#writerscommunity#writing tips#character development#writing advice#oc character#writing help#creative writing#character background#character flaws#Flaws
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Perfection
Mammon was far from perfect. He struggled with keeping his grades up. He found it near impossible to save the money he earned. He couldn’t control the impulses to pocket things that weren’t his. It was all part of who he was.
He was painfully aware of it too. His brothers would never let him forget about each and everyone one of the flaws. They remind him at minimum once a day about how scummy he was, or how much of a burden he was on the household. His mind became an echo chamber, reflecting back everything he’d been told at any given point during the day. It grew more and more difficult by the day to parade around with a grin plastered on his face.
But with you, it was like all of that went out the window. You made him feel special. Loved. Wanted. He knew his brothers cared, probably, but it was different with you. He never had to worry about you saying something demeaning to him, or talking about him behind his back. With you, he could be himself. He felt like he could admit his mistakes to you without the fear of being verbally assaulted. He knew you’d help him without any backstabbing or insults. All because you loved him.
The phrase you liked to use was “We’re only human after all.” While he’d been essentially everything but a human, he saw the meaning behind it. To be human is to err. He wasn’t, but being immortal meant you were bound to make mistakes once or hundreds of times. He didn’t need to be flawless. It was alright to stumble sometimes. Being himself was enough. You would be there to help pick him back up anyways, no matter what.
You loved him for who he was. Not for what he once was, or what he could be. You saw the real Mammon, and that’s more than he could ask for. But you went beyond that. You treated the real him like gold, and was by his side when he needed it most. To you, he was perfect, and that’s all he could ever hope to be.
So when you barged into his room, demanding cuddles, or when dragged you him out shopping with you, he never once complained. He wore his imperfections and his heart on the same sleeve; the very same one you always tugged on when you wanted his affection. There was a reason he called you his treasure, after all.
#I REALLY LOVE HOW THIS CAME OUT#drabble#gn reader#obey me#obey me!#obey me x reader#obey me mammon#omswd#obey me! shall we date#obey me! shall we date?#obey me shall we date
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♯ TOO SWEET ; mattheo riddle
❛ i take my whiskey neat, my coffee black and my bed at 3, you’re too sweet for me ❜
PAIRING! mattheo riddle x gn!reader
SYNOPSIS! in which mattheo recalled the two times you were too sweet for him (based on this req.!!)
WORD COUNT! 4.1k
WARNINGS AND TAGS! consummation of alcohol, lovesick mattheo, fluff, angst, a lot of my hcs for mattheo’s past (i wrote him the way i see him), lmk if i missed smth !!
NOTES! this is purely my view on mattheo’s character bc the hc i wrote suit him sm 😿😿 reblogs & comments are greatly appreciated <3
HARRY POTTER MASTERLIST!
ONCE A MAN FALLS IN LOVE, he finds himself drawn to not just the physical beauty of his muse, but for the essence of who the person truly is - their quirks, intelligence, kindness, and their unique way of seeing the world. Every interaction, every shared experience, every memory he brings, adds another layer to his adoration towards the love of his life.
His love for them is evident in the little things - the way he watches them when they aren't looking, the small gestures of thoughtfulness, the silent support during their dark moments of life. It's in the way he listens, truly listens, to the hopes and dreams, fears and frustrations, always eager to offer his thoughts and ideas. This love manifests in his desire to be their anchor in times of storm, their cheerleader in moments of triumph, and their person in all the in-betweens. It is a love that values their independence and individuality, recognizing that they are their own person with their own journey, and yet, he longs to be a part of that journey, to walk alongside them and share in their joys and sorrows of life.
Mattheo Riddle was no different.
He marvels at your kindness, your sweetness, and the light you bring into his life. You are his muse, his inspiration, a spark of the goodness that stands in stark contrast to his own perceived flaws and insecurities he feels deep inside himself. He sees you as an angel, a pure and radiant being who somehow chose to share your life with him, despite his own imperfections and inner demons.
He sees you as an angel in a human form, who chose to live among the devils, just so he could feel the heavenly touch for the first and last time in all eternity.
He often wonders how he, with all his rough edges, hidden scars, and a past life without a happy memory, could be worthy of your love. He feels like a monster, haunted by past mistakes and burdened by the weight of his own fears and failings. You, on the other hand, are everything he aspires to be - kind, compassionate, and endlessly forgiving. Your presence in his life is a constant reminder of the beauty and grace that he lacks, and yet, your love makes him strive to be better, to rise above his darkness and become someone worthy of your affection.
In his heart, he knows that your love is transforming him, helping him to heal and grow. Your existence is a light that dispels his inner darkness, a reminder for him to cherish that even monsters like him can be loved. He clings to this, that your love is making him a better man, one day at a time.
01. THE PARTY
The Slytherin common room was full of shadows and flickering lights, transformed into a wild moment of freedom for the night. The music, a thundering beat that echoed off the stone walls, could be heard from miles away, yet no professor or ghost visited the common room to cancel the party. It was as if the ancient castle itself had granted this one night of freedom to its most cunning and ambitious students. The rhythmic thrum of bass notes and the infectious melody of the latest wizarding hits filled the air, blending with the sound of laughter and the clink of glasses.
Bodies moved in a hypnotic dance, swaying in sync with the music. The students had discarded their usual aloof demeanors and uniforms, lost in the euphoria and joy of the moment. Green and silver decorations adorned every surface, shimmering under the enchanted lights that hung from the ceiling like glowing jewels. Laughter rang out, high and clear, mingling with the deep, resonant hum of conversation.
In one corner, a group of seventh years huddled together, their heads bent close in a whisper, before erupting into loud laughter. Nearby, a couple twirled around each other, their bodies intertwining like dark waves, eyes locked in their private world amidst the chaos around them. The fireplace, usually a place of quiet contemplation, was now surrounded by students perched on its stone ledge, their eyes gleaming with the thrill of the night and alcohol.
Long tables filled with food and drink stretched along one wall, bearing the weight of a feast other students could be jealous of. Platters of magical meals, charmed to stay warm, smelled of aromas that mingled with the scent of butterbeer and stronger beverages. Bottles of firewhisky and elf-made wine were passed from hand to hand, each sip fueling the atmosphere more and more as drunken the students got. The alcohol flowed freely, loosening tongues, transforming even the shyest students into party animals of the night.
The Slytherin common room had never felt so alive. Tonight, they were not just the students of Hogwarts; they were a family, united by their house and their understanding of what it meant to be a Slytherin.
Mattheo Riddle was one of those students who were enjoying themselves tonight. His breathing features were illuminated by the green lights as he leaned casually against a stone wall, a cup of firewhisky filled to the brim in his hand. The amber liquid sloshed perilously close to the edge with each of his slowed gestures, but Mattheo seemed unconcerned, clearly lost in the haze of alcohol. His dark curls, usually styled in the way that made uncountable amount of girls fall on their knees, now fell loose around his face as you watched from a close distance.
He was engaged in a drunken conversation with Theodore Nott, whose tall, lanky frame was the opposite to Mattheo's more athletic build. Theo's typically serious demeanor had softened, his features relaxed into a rare, genuine smile as he listened to Mattheo's ramblings with a giggle threatening to spill out from his lips. The two of them, often seen together, now looked like true brothers. It was almost scary how much they resembled family when they were drunk.
Mattheo's voice, rich and slightly slurred, carried over the music as he recounted a particularly outrageous story from his recent fight. Theodore threw his head back and laughed. It was clear to anyone how close those two boys were, drunk or sober.
"Can you believe he actually thought I was serious?" Mattheo snickered with a big grin stretching across his face, taking a swig from his cup, the whiskey burning a warm path down his throat. "I mean, I barely managed to keep a straight face!"
Theodore laughed, shaking his head in disbelief. "You're a menace, Riddle. One of these days, you're going to get expelled."
"Ah, but tonight isn't that night, mate," Mattheo replied with a slow wink, raising his glass in a mock toast. "To living dangerously and laughing in the face of consequences!"
They clinked their cups together, the sound barely audible over the throbbing beat of the music and you thought now was the best time to approach your boyfriend.
Mattheo's brown irises scanned the crowd, catching a look of you as you pushed your way through the crowd of dancing bodies. The sight of you instantly brightened his expression and a genuine smile spread across his face. He felt a rush of emotions that the whiskey in his hand only intensified, each beat of his heart echoing with the certainty that what he held for you was pure love. The Slytherin straightened up, his posture shifting from the casual slouch of a carefree boy to the attentive stance of a man. Theodore noticed the change and a knowing smirk made its appearance on his lips as he stepped aside, giving the two of you a moment of privacy.
"[Name]," your boyfriend called out, his voice full of warmth. He reached out, his fingers lightly brushing against yours as you came closer. "There you are, love."
You beamed up at him, your eyes reflecting the party's enchanted lights, making them look like twin stars. "Having fun, are we?" you teased and the tone of your voice carried a playful match that always managed to make his heart skip a beat.
"Only now that you're here," he replied. The world around you seemed to blur as he gazed down at you, all the noise and chaos fading into the background. "You make everything better."
Drunk on both the whiskey and his overwhelming affection, the boy's usual reservations melted away. He held you close, his hands resting on your waist as if anchoring himself to your presence. When he was sober or feeling down at heart, his love for you was often hidden beneath layers of stoicism and insecurity, but now, in this moment of happy drunkenness, it shone through.
He bent down, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead, then your cheek, and finally your lips, enjoying the sweetness of the contact. "I'm so lucky to have you," he murmured against your lips, his voice thick with emotion. "I don't deserve you, but I'm going to spend every day trying to be worthy of your love."
“You have no idea what you mean to me. I look at you and . . . it’s like you’re the sun and I’m just a planet orbiting around you, soaking up your light,” he continued without a break. The boy wanted to get every one of his words out as fast as humanly possible. To show you his hidden feelings he wasn't able to tell you before. “You’re my everything, [Name]. I don’t know how I got so lucky. You’re so kind, so . . . good. And me? I’m just . . . I’m a mess, you know? A monster sometimes.”
You shook your head lightly and took his hands into your own, enveloping him with your warmth. He was starting to get emotional, and you didn't need to have your boyfriend drunkenly mopping around. His mood changed like weather when alcohol got involved. “You’re not a monster, Mattheo. You’re human. We all have our demons.”
“But you,” he didn't allow you to finish your sentence before he spoke up again, his voice raw with sincerity, “you make me want to be better. For you. I see you, and I just want to be the man you deserve. I’m not always good at it, but I try. I try because you’re worth it.”
You could see the glazed look in his eyes as he swayed slightly on the spot. He was rough around the edges, you couldn't deny the truth, but he was the sweetest boy when he managed to fall in love. Which wasn't exactly difficult, Mattheo fell in love easily. But when he did, it was worth everything. Mattheo was your sweet boy. “Love,” you said softly to him, your voice filled with gentle concern to the brim, “you’ve had a bit too much to drink. Maybe it’s time to slow down a little, okay?”
Mattheo blinked, giving you a lopsided grin, his expression a mix of boyish charm and pure happiness. “But I’m fine, [nickname]. I feel great. Better than great, actually. With you here, everything’s perfect.”
“I know you’re having a good time, but I don’t want you to feel terrible tomorrow. Let’s take a break from the firewhisky for now, alright?”
He pouted slightly, his shoulders slumping as he realized you were actually serious. “You’re probably right,” he admitted, a hint of reluctance in his voice. “But only because you’re asking me.” You chuckled softly at his behavior, threading your fingers through his and gently leading him away from the dancing crowd. You navigated through the common room, moving towards a quieter corner of the space where a plush couch sat, inviting you both in with open arms. The room’s enchantments cast soft shadows on the walls, the flickering lights creating a soothing atmosphere.
“Here, sit down,” you instructed as you guided him to sit on the couch. Mattheo obeyed, sinking into the cushions with a contented sigh. You sat beside him, your hand never leaving his. You took the half-empty cup of whiskey from his hold, reaching for a glass of water on the table nearby instead and handing it to him. “Drink this. It’ll help.”
Mattheo took the glass, his fingers brushing against yours as he did. He took a long sip, the cool water a welcome relief from the heat of the alcohol he consumed. “You really do take good care of me, don’t you?” he murmured, his head resting against the back of the couch as he looked at you with a mixture of admiration and exhaustion.
“Someone has to,” you replied playfully, brushing a stray curl of hair from his forehead. “And I wouldn’t want anyone else to have the job.”
As the night wore on, Mattheo felt a warmth spreading through him that was only partly due to the whiskey. It was the warmth of belonging, of being surrounded by friends who understood and accepted him, flaws and all. Despite his often rough exterior, he was deeply grateful for these moments, these stolen hours of joy in the corners of the Slytherin common room.
02 - THE MARK
The past has a profound power to shape a man, especially when that past is influenced by suffering at the hands of a father.
For Mattheo Riddle, his family history was the darkest shadow of all the shadows that clung to him, a reminder of the pain and fear that had molded his entire life. Raised in a home devoid of warmth, where love was a foreign concept and cruelty was a daily reality, Mattheo had learned to build tall and thick walls around his heart. A shield to protect him from more hurt that would come his way.
The orphanage was a harsh place, stripped of the luxuries the boy had unknowingly been born into. It was a world of strict discipline and a poor form of affection. The caretakers, overwhelmed and underfunded, had little patience for a child with such a notorious legacy. Mattheo grew up under the weight of whispers and sideways glances, the infamous name "Riddle" ensuring he was never just another child. The women of the orphanage knew his father, having taken care of him when he was around the same age as his son. What a wicked child Tom was. Mattheo was different because of that, marked, and this awareness shaped his formative years in ways he could barely comprehend.
As he grew older, the whispers about his family name became more pronounced. The children at the orphanage were cruel. “Monster,” they called him, creating the very fears that nested within his own heart. He began to internalize these taunts, seeing himself through the lens of his father's sins. The idea that he could be worthy of love seemed more and more distant, more of a fantasy that had no place in his reality. But the same idea of letting someone see past his defenses, of allowing someone to love him despite his flaws, seemed not only impossible but dangerous. For how could anyone love a monster, especially one crafted by his own father?
Despite this, Mattheo yearned for something more. He longed for the kind of love he had never known, a love that was gentle and kind, that saw past his scars and accepted him for who he was. But every time he felt himself getting close to someone, the fear surged up, a wave of doubt and self-loathing washed over him and forced him to retreat behind his walls again. It was a never-ending cycle.
Hogwarts had saved him.
Mattheo Riddle’s first steps into Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry were met with a mixture of curiosity, awe, and apprehension. For the other students, he was a figure of whispered rumors, his infamous last name carrying with it a weight of fear and fascination. They had heard the stories of his father’s dark acts, of the legacy that haunted the halls of the castle like a ghost. But for Mattheo himself, Hogwarts represented a new beginning, a chance to escape the personal hell he called the orphanage and create his own path. The boy was no longer just another orphan. Here, he could be anything he wanted to be.
He wasn't deaf. The young boy could feel the weight of his father’s name bearing down on him like an invisible burden. And he wasn't blind either. He saw the way the other students looked at him, their eyes flickering with a mixture of fear and suspicion. They didn’t openly taunt him as the children in the orphanage had done, but he could sense the whispers and the wary glances that followed him wherever he went. For Mattheo, however, their fear was a source of power. He reveled in the attention, in the way his presence commanded respect, even if it was tinged with fear. He was finally someone.
He excelled in his classes, his natural talent and restless ambition setting him apart from his peers. But it was on the Quidditch pitch that Mattheo truly came into his own. Flying high above the castle grounds, he felt a sense of freedom unlike anything he had ever known. With every twist and turn of his broomstick, he left behind the weight of his past and embraced the thrill of the present, making him feel like a bird.
Six years had passed since Mattheo Riddle first walked through the grand doors of Hogwarts, a hopeful and determined young wizard with dreams of greatness he was so sure he'd achieve. But now, as he entered his sixth year at the renowned school of magic, the world around him had shifted irrevocably. The return of Lord Voldemort two years prior had plunged the wizarding world into chaos, and with it, Mattheo’s life had been destroyed once again.
Even among his fellow Slytherins, Mattheo felt like an outsider, a traitor to his own house and everything it stood for. He had once prided himself on his ambition and cunning, on his unwavering determination to succeed at any cost. But it didn't matter anymore.
Mattheo sat alone in the quiet atmosphere of the Astronomy Tower, his gaze fixed on the night sky that sparkled with millions of stars. Each twinkling light seemed to mock him, making fun of the darkness that now stained his soul even more than before. His fingers gripped the sleeve of his jacket tightly, as if seeking some comfort in the fabric, but finding none.
On his left forearm, the Dark Mark burned like a brand upon his skin. It was a mark of shame, of betrayal, and every time he looked upon it, he felt a sickening sense of disgust and self-loathing. He had thought that by aligning himself with the Dark Lord, his father, he would finally be able to escape the shadows of his past, to prove himself worthy of the name Riddle and his father's presence. But now, he realized that he had only succeeded in plunging himself deeper into the deep hole. Even the orphanage was better than this.
The footsteps behind him shattered the sweet silence, echoing off the stone walls of the tower. Mattheo tensed, his heart racing as he turned to face the intruder, steeling himself for whatever judgment or punishment awaited him. But as he turned, he was met not with the accusing glare of Filch or the triumphant sneer of a rival, but with the concerned gaze of a familiar face. It was you, with your eyes filled with worry as you approached him slowly, as if he'd disappear if you were a bit louder.
“I’ve been looking for you everywhere. Are you alright?”
No, he wasn't alright. But he would be caught dead sooner than having you worry about him like that and more.
He forced a tight-lipped smile, attempting to mask the emotions raging within him. “I’m fine,” he replied, his voice strained with the effort of maintaining the facade. “Just . . . thinking.”
You stepped closer, taking a seat on the ground beside him. “You don’t have to pretend with me, Mattheo. I know something’s been troubling you lately. You can talk to me.”
You were his angel, full of that purity and light he adored about you in a world darkened by his own sins. He longed to confide in you, to unburden himself of the guilt and shame that had consumed him since he had received the Dark Mark. But the fear of your rejection, of you seeing him for the monster he believed himself to be, held him back. It would shatter his heart, to see the pained expression on your face.
“I . . .” he began, his voice faltering as he struggled to find the words, "there's something I need to show you." With a heavy heart and trembling hands, Mattheo finally mustered the courage to reveal the truth to you. For months, he had carried the burden of the dark secret alone, pushing you out and shutting you down in an attempt to shield and protect you from the darkness that was his father. But now, as he sat before you, his heart and his soul laid bare, he knew that he could no longer hide from the truth. The boy reached for the sleeve of his jacket, his fingers fumbling as he pushed the fabric up to reveal the twisted lines of the Dark Mark etched upon his skin. The sight of it made him recoil, a wave of shame washing over him as he exposed his deepest, darkest secret to the one person he had sworn to protect.
Your eyes widened in shock as you took in the mark, your palm flying to your mouth in disbelief. For a long moment, there was silence between the two of you, broken only by the sound of your shallow breathing and the distant hum of the night owls.
“I received this a few weeks ago," Mattheo confessed, his eyes avoiding yours. "When he decided I was good enough for him."
He felt your gaze on him, eyes searching his face for answers. He could see the confusion and concern written in your expression, but beneath it all, he saw something else - a flicker of understanding and acceptance that filled him with both hope and fear. How can someone be so good to someone like him? "I've been living with the Malfoys ever since," he continued, the words tumbling out in a rush as he struggled to explain himself. "But it's not what you think, [Name]. I never wanted any of this. I never wanted to be a part of his plans, to be branded as one of his followers. But I had no choice. He made me do it."
Tears welled in his eyes as he spoke, and he felt a desperate plea for forgiveness in his chest. He needed you to understand, to see past the mistakes that consumed him and into the depths of his soul where his love for you burned bright and true. The thought of losing you hurt him more than the Cruciatus curse ever could.
“Forgive me. For shutting you out, for pushing you away. I was scared, I was ashamed . . . but I can't bear to keep this secret from you any longer. You deserve to know the truth, even if it means losing you forever."
Your heart swelled with a bittersweet mixture of sorrow as you gazed upon Mattheo, your sweet boy, sitting there before you with tears in his eyes and the weight of the world upon his shoulders. In that moment, all you wanted was to wrap him in your arms and shield him from the pain and darkness that threatened to consume him. With shaky hands, you reached out to him, fingers brushing against the mark of his father's followers etched upon his skin. The sight of it filled you with a fit of fierce anger, but beneath it all, you saw the boy you so dearly loved - a boy who had been shaped by his past but who was so much more than the picture of his scars.
"Love," you whispered into the dark, taking his face into your hands and wiping away those tears that managed to escape his control, "there's nothing to forgive. Nothing in this world could ever tear us apart, not even your father or that mark."
In that moment, Mattheo knew that he would do anything for you, that he would move heaven and earth to ensure your happiness and safety. You were his light in the darkness, his angel in a world filled with demons, and he would cherish that for the time being his heart swelled at the thought of you. You were simply too sweet for him and you knew that Mattheo’s struggles were far from over, but for tonight, that was enough.
© ahqkas — all rights reserved. even when credited, these works are prohibited to be reposted, translated or modified.
#mattheo riddle x you#mattheo riddle x reader#mattheo riddle blurb#mattheo riddle headcanon#mattheo riddle scenarios#mattheo riddle fanfic#mattheo riddle fluff#mattheo riddle imagine#mattheo riddle#mattheo x you#mattheo x y/n#mattheo x reader#mattheo riddle series#mattheo riddle prompt#reader insert#x reader#slytherin x reader#slytherin#slytherin boys#slytherin boys x reader#slytherin boys x you#harry potter x reader#harry potter imagine#harry potter fanfiction
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Ways to Cultivate Self-Love
Practice self-compassion: Treat yourself with kindness and understanding, just as you would someone you love.
Practice self-care: Prioritize your physical, emotional, and mental well-being. Take time for relaxation, get enough sleep, eat nutritious food, exercise, and pursuing hobbies or activities that make you happy.
Set healthy boundaries: Assert your needs, desires, and limits. Establish clear boundaries in your relationships and communicate them assertively. Saying no when necessary and honoring your boundaries helps protect your well-being.
Practice mindfulness: Be present in the current moment and non-judgmentally observe your thoughts and emotions. Mindfulness can help you develop self-awareness, reduce stress, and cultivate a deeper understanding of yourself.
Challenge self-limiting beliefs: Challenge negative thoughts and self-beliefs that hold you back from self-love and personal growth. Replace them with positive and empowering affirmations.
Surround yourself with positivity: Surround yourself with people who uplift and support you. Minimize contact with those who bring negativity or undermine your self-esteem.
Practice gratitude: Regularly express gratitude for the positive aspects of your life, as well as your own strengths and achievements. Keeping a gratitude journal can help shift your focus toward self-appreciation and increase your overall sense of well-being.
Celebrate your wins: Celebrate your accomplishments, no matter how small they may seem. Recognize your efforts, progress, and achievements, and take pride in them. Doing this reinforces a positive self-image and boosts self-confidence.
Practice self-acceptance: Embrace and accept yourself fully, including your flaws, imperfections, and past mistakes. Realize that no one is perfect, and that self-love involves accepting and embracing your whole self, including both your strengths and areas for growth.
Focus on self-care rituals: Engage in regular self-care rituals that make you feel nurtured and valued. Take long baths, practice yoga or meditation, journaling, creative activities, or spending time in nature. Find what activities make you happy and make them a priority.
Embrace self-expression: Explore ways to express yourself authentically. This could be, engaging in creative activities like art, writing, music, or dance.
Practice forgiveness: Forgive yourself for past mistakes and let go of any self-blame or guilt that may be holding you back. Making mistakes is a part of being human, use these experiences as opportunities for growth and learning.
Celebrate self-care milestones: Celebrate the progress you make in your self-love journey. Set small achievable goals for self-improvement and celebrate when you reach them. This helps build self-confidence.
Surround yourself with positive influences: Surround yourself with people who inspire and uplift you. Invest in relationships that support your growth, well-being, and self-love. Distance yourself from individuals or environments that consistently bring you down or undermine your self-worth.
Practice self-empowerment: Take control of your life and make choices that align with your values, desires, and aspirations. Set goals and take steps towards achieving them.
Engage in self-reflection: Reflect on your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. Incorporate journaling, meditation or mindfulness exercises. Self-reflection helps you gain insight into yourself, your patterns, and your needs, enabling you to make intentional choices aligned with self-love.
Be your own advocate: Stand up for yourself and your needs. Speak up assertively when you feel disrespected or when your boundaries are crossed. Express your opinions, asserting your rights, and asking for what you need in various areas of your life.
#self love journey#self love#self improvement#self development#self empowerment#confidence#self help#glow up tips#glow up#level up journey#personal improvement#personal growth#personal development
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I want to talk about unconditional forgiveness and how crucial it is for Xie Lian to have someone who offers it to him with no strings attached.
Throughout Xie Lian's life, he experiences numerous falls from grace, each one more devastating than the last. He goes from being a beloved crown prince and a renowned god to a figure of scorn and bad luck. The weight of his past and the suffering he has endured often make him question his own worthiness and ability to protect others.
Which is why, for Xie Lian, Hua Cheng's forgiveness is a lifeline. Knowing that there is someone who believes in him, no matter what, allows Xie Lian to forgive himself and move forward. In a world where divine beings are often portrayed as infallible, we see by the end, that pretty much every god has their own flaws and that even those with immense power are not immune to making grievous errors in judgment.
I think Hua Cheng’s forgiveness also symbolizes a deeper, transformative love. It’s a love that goes beyond mere acceptance; it’s a commitment, a promise, a vow to stand by Xie Lian no matter what, and that's what makes his love so rare and beautiful. It's such a stark contrast to the judgment Xie Lian has faced from his people and other gods. While his own friends basically turned their backs on him, Hua Cheng remained his most loyal and devoted believer. His cheerleader, for a lack of better words. Hua Cheng embodies the truest form of compassion– understanding and embracing someone wholly.
Hua Cheng's love and acceptance allow Xie Lian to feel seen and understood in a way that no one else has ever provided. This kind of forgiveness is not about overlooking mistakes or pretending they didn't happen; rather, it's about recognizing the entirety of a person's journey and choosing to embrace them regardless.
Hua Cheng's acceptance allows Xie Lian to be vulnerable about his deepest fears and struggles. It also gives him the ability to ask for something he needs for himself:
"All right... don't say any more. I get it... but... but don't be like this, all right? San Lang? I... I've borrowed so much spiritual power from you that I haven't repaid. And I'm not done telling you all the things that I wanted to say; there's still so much. It's been so long since anyone listened to me talk. Won't you stay? Don't.. don't do this. I won't be able to take it. Twice, it's happened twice already-I really don't want there to be a third time!"
In this moment, Xie Lian’s plea reveals how extremely isolating his life has been. He has been perpetually misunderstood, and I believe that even before his first ascension, he has always felt profoundly alone. Throughout his life, Xie Lian has been surrounded by people who either see him through the lens of his past or view him as a mere symbol; a divine god, so therefore flawless and someone beyond approach. It strips away his humanity and the complexities of his true self, unable to be seen as a person with real feelings and imperfections. Even his Feng Xin and Mu Qing put him up in a pedestal, and no matter what happened, no matter how understandable it was, everyone still left him in the end.
Then, to have someone say they understand his everything, from his wisdom to his foolishness, and then also wholeheartedly support him and unconditionally love him? That they never, ever left him, that they've always been there, constant and unchanging in their love, in their devotion? That must have felt life-changing to him. Something groundbreaking and pivotal.
He is essentially begging for the one person who understands him completely—and who accepts him unconditionally despite everything—not to leave him. When Xie Lian begs Hua Cheng to stay, it is not just a request for physical presence but a desperate need for emotional reassurance and acceptance. For Hua Cheng is Xie Lian's safe haven where he can express his deepest fears and unspoken desires, a place of solace and affirmation that he has long been missing from everyone else.
#xie lian#hua cheng#tian guan ci fu#analysis?#tgcf#hualian#unconditional love#forgiveness#themes#symbolism#lots of repetition#text
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other people have worded it better then me, but inej's assertion about having kaz in the without armor scene was clearly not just about emotional vulnerability. it’s a powerful line in the books and a nice metaphor for emotional intimacy, (something inej deserves from kaz) but let's not shy away from the fact that she also made it clear she meant physical intimacy, as her words were "fully clothed, gloves on, head turned away so our lips can never touch"
this nuance is important to consider, as it reflects the depth and complexity of her feelings at the time. it’s ironic that for people who apparently care so much about inej’s boundaries, the fandom rarely pays attention to what she says. inej has flaws and virtues, some affected by different experiences she's had, and that affects her choices. her words aren’t any less hurtful because of this. she got kaz in a vulnerable moment and said something cruel. later she reflects on this and admits she shouldn’t be holding kaz to standards she can’t meet herself, and she likely said that to him in the first place because she lashed out about something that’s personally a trigger for her and she’s vulnerable about. they both have a lot of issues surrounding physical intimacy.
that’s one reason why kanej is such a good ship- one of the most healthy, beautiful and nuanced relationships ever between two children who have been through horrific things, exploited, abandoned, and put in danger every day, who have found safety and friendship and understanding in each other. they aren’t going to be speaking super politely and using sensitive, respectful, inoffensive woke therapy speak at every second because that’s not their situation or their relationship and their interactions are raw and real. sometimes they make mistakes (kaz calling inej an investment, inej saying kaz wouldn’t be able to have her if he couldn’t touch her, etc) but they recognise and admit when they do and work through that. the beauty of their friendship lies in their imperfections and their capacity to learn from each other. the bare honesty they share is a testament to their growth, even when it leads to moments of pain or misunderstanding.
to suggest that holding inej to a higher standard and not acknowledging that her words could be perceived as hurtful is akin to ignoring the very human aspects of her character. it’s essential to recognize that she is capable of making mistakes or risk turning her into a perfect fandomised queen incapable of fault. her character's journey is not about being infallible, but about growth, self-reflection, and the courage to confront and overcome her fears. strong and resilient, yet also capable of causing harm, even unintentionally.
there’s a phenomenon in fandom spaces but particularly the grishaverse where fans have an opinion of something and then deem everyone else’s as bad or wrong, going so far as to make posts calling out other people for having different analysis. literary discussions should encourage an environment where different interpretations are welcomed and discussed respectfully, not minimised and devalued for a more popular fandom take that’s often incorrect when compared with the text of the book anyway. it’s okay for inej to make mistakes and learn from them, just as it's okay for readers to have varied interpretations of their interactions.
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im so tireddddd of matt being the broken one and y/n being the comforting one
pls create a fic about this “how can you love someone like me” “how can i not love someone like you?” but like y/n is the broken one with a really bad and dark past and really hesitant and js has her walls up
make it a short blurb pls! just the argument and nothing more ty
HOW CAN YOU LOVE SOMEONE LIKE ME?
❐ summary » two souls clash with raw emotion. y/n, weighed down by past scars and self-doubt, questions their worthiness of love. matt sees beyond the flaws, recognizing the true beauty within.
❐ pairings » bf!matt x fem!reader
❐ warnings » slight angst but mainly fluff and matt comforting reader
❐ a/n && w/c » hey bae! hope this was short enough and what you wanted • 1.12k
you find yourself in a room where the shadows seem to whisper secrets, the air heavy with the weight of unsaid thoughts. matt moves restlessly, his agitation almost tangible. with a voice that quivers, caught between anger and sorrow, you finally break the silence, "how can you love someone like me?"
he stops dead in his tracks, his eyes locking onto yours with a look of disbelief that seems to pierce through your very soul. "how can i not love someone like you?" he retorts, his voice rising slightly with an edge of desperation. "you think you're unworthy, but you don't see what i see. you're everything to me."
"you don't understand," you murmur, shaking your head slowly, as if trying to dislodge the weight of your thoughts. "i'm flawed, broken in ways you can't even begin to fathom."
"everyone is flawed," he counters, taking a deliberate step closer. "but that doesn't make you any less deserving of love. you think your imperfections push me away, but they pull me in even more. they make you real, they make you human."
"i don't want to be a burden," you whisper, your voice trembling as tears well up in your eyes. "i don't want you to look back and regret choosing to be with me."
he reaches out, gently cupping your face in his hands. "i could never regret loving you," he murmurs, his eyes full of earnestness. "you make me better, you challenge me, you make me feel alive. don't you see? loving you isn't a choice; it's a necessity."
you pull away, wrapping your arms around yourself as if to shield your heart. "but what if i can't give you what you need?" you whisper, your voice fragile. "what if i'm not enough?"
he sighs, running a hand through his hair, a gesture heavy with contemplation. "you are enough, more than enough," he says softly. "love isn't about perfection; it's about acceptance, growth, and understanding. we can face any storm together, as long as we have each other."
"it's not that simple," you argue, your voice cracking as you wrap your arms around yourself even tighter. "there are things about me that you don't know," you continue, your eyes darting away to avoid his gaze, "things that could change everything."
"then tell me," he pleads, his eyes searching yours with an intensity that seems to pierce through your very soul. "let me in. let me love you, all of you, even the parts you think are unlovable."
you take a deep breath, the weight of your fears pressing down on you like an anchor dragging you down. “i’m scared," you admit, your voice barely above a whisper, trembling with the vulnerability of your confession.
"i'm scared too," he confesses, his voice softening like a gentle breeze. "but i'd rather face that fear with you than live without you. please, let me love you, every part, even the shadows you hide."
you look into his eyes, seeing the sincerity and love that radiates from him like a beacon in the dark. it's a love that you feel unworthy of, yet desperately crave. slowly, you nod, allowing yourself to believe, if only for a fleeting moment, that maybe, just maybe, you are deserving of his love.
"you don't know what you're asking," you say, your voice wavering like a fragile leaf in the wind. "loving me means accepting all my scars, my past, my mistakes, and the shadows that linger in my soul."
"i want to know everything," he insists, his grip on your shoulders firm but gentle, like an anchor in a storm. "i want to share your burdens, lighten your load. that's what love is about, isn't it? intertwining our souls, even in the darkest times?"
"but what if you can't handle it?" you challenge, your eyes searching his for any sign of doubt, like a lighthouse scanning the horizon. "what if my past is too much for you, an abyss too deep to fathom?"
"then we'll face it together," he replies without hesitation, his eyes locking onto yours with a fierce determination. he takes a deep breath, his grip on your shoulders tightening slightly as if to anchor you both in this moment. "i'm not afraid of your past. i'm more afraid of losing you because you think you're not worthy of love. you're my world, and i'm willing to fight for you."
you feel a tear slip down your cheek, tracing a path of vulnerability, and he wipes it away with a tenderness that feels almost sacred. "i don't deserve you," you whisper, your voice breaking like a fragile porcelain vase, revealing the depths of your insecurities.
"you deserve happiness and love just as much as anyone else," he says softly, his words wrapping around you like a warm embrace. "and i'm here to give you that, if you'll let me," he continues, his voice a gentle promise, echoing with sincerity and unwavering devotion.
"i don't know if i can," you admit, your heart aching with the weight of your insecurities, like a heavy fog that refuses to lift. "i don't know if i can be what you need," you continue, your voice trembling, each word a fragile confession of your deepest fears.
"you already are," he reassures you, his eyes filled with unwavering love, like a lighthouse guiding you through a storm. "you are everything i need and more. please, don't shut me out. let me prove to you that we can make this work," he implores, his voice a symphony of sincerity and hope, resonating deep within your soul.
you take a deep breath, feeling the walls you've built around your heart begin to crumble like ancient ruins succumbing to time. "okay," you say softly, your voice barely above a whisper. "i'll try. but you have to promise me something."
"anything," he says, his eyes never leaving yours, his gaze a steadfast anchor in the turbulent sea of your emotions.
"promise me that you'll be patient," you say, your voice trembling like a fragile leaf in the wind. "promise me that you won't give up on me, even when things get tough," you continue, each word a delicate plea woven with vulnerability and hope.
"i promise," he vows, pulling you into his arms with a tenderness that speaks volumes. "i'll never give up on you," he murmurs, his words a solemn oath, resonating with unwavering commitment.
as you stand there, wrapped in his embrace, you feel a glimmer of hope, like a faint star piercing through the night sky. maybe, just maybe, you can learn to love yourself the way he loves you. and in that moment, you realize that perhaps you are worthy of love after all, like a hidden treasure finally unearthed.
taglist — @imwetforyourmom @meatballzerz69 @pinkishpearls @bandanamatt @thedangerousalleyway @muchloveforhacker @stinkytinkywinky47 @jetaimevous @everleiqh @conspiracy-ash @ifwdominicfike @blahbel668 @slutforsturnioloss @realuvrrr
#matt sturniolo fluff#matt sturniolo angst#matt sturniolo smut#matt sturniolo fanfic#matt sturniolo oneshot#matt sturniolo imagine#matt sturniolo x reader#matt sturniolo x you#matthew sturniolo#chris sturniolo#chris sturniolo angst#chris sturniolo fluff#chris sturniolo smut#chris sturniolo fanfic#chris sturniolo oneshot#chris sturniolo imagine#chris sturniolo x reader#chris sturniolo x you#christopher sturniolo#nick sturniolo fluff#nick sturniolo angst#nick sturniolo smut#nick sturniolo fanfic#nick sturniolo oneshot#nick sturniolo imagine#nick sturniolo x reader#nick sturniolo x you#nicolas sturniolo#sturniolo triplets
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It’s a good thing to just show up as yourself. It’s not possible to alway be improving, to always be great, to constantly do your best. You’re allowed to be imperfect, even if that is not something encouraged by those who want you only as the idea they have of you. You’re not a concept, you’re just another human, an animal, who cannot perform to the highest expectations without setting yourself up for failure.
It’s a good thing to just try, to just do things as you are able to. It’s okay for you to be good enough and not perfect. Perfectionism takes us to an all of nothing mentality, but you don’t have to burn yourself out by forcing yourself to be the best at everything. You need to allow yourself to make mistakes without the unbearable guilt it gives you, you are only human. Your mistakes will become lessons, so they don’t make you a failure. Please don’t delay whatever you need to do because you’re waiting for it to be “just right, just perfect”. You deserve more of life than to be an ideal to people-please others. You deserve more than the fear of not being good enough. You deserve to throw yourself out into the world, to be truly seen, truly cared for and loved for you are.
So please, don’t shut yourself out of any experiences because you’re “not sure how you’ll perform so it’s best to just give up”. You can be just as human as you are, and having flaws do not make you worse than anyone else. It makes you real, and you are alive at this moment so you might as well show up and live it! Enjoy your life as you are, and not as who you should be. Because people-pleasing while suppressing all your needs will make you miserable and lonely.
You deserve true connection, and it’s not a bad thing to want to be seen. But first, you gotta get a bit more comfortable with being yourself, and it gets a little easier the more you try hanging out with people without constantly trying to please them. And I hope little by little, you’ll get there and no longer feel the pressure to perform, and feel less scared of let others get to know the real you. I’m rooting for you and I believe you’re capable of opening up and being loved just as you are.
#self-worth#self-acceptance#original writing#authenticity#on being human#on relationships#perfectionism#self-compassion
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You aren’t defective or fucked up. You’re a flawed human being - we all are. You don’t have to feel like you’ve wronged everyone just because you exist. You can apologize when you make mistakes and be intentional about doing better. That said, usually, you aren’t making a mistake - you’re just…existing. Acknowledge your flaws and then play on your strengths. Do more of what makes you feel like a good human being. Volunteer. Do random acts of kindness. Speak softly but unwaveringly. There is nothing inherently wrong with you, I promise. You might have struggles and you might feel really uncomfortable, and that’s okay. You’re still worthy of love and you still deserve to be happy. You’re doing a good job even when you feel like you’re not enough or even like you’re too much. I’m proud of you for striving to be the best version of yourself, but the version of you that exists right now is just enough, even with all of their messiness and flaws and imperfections. You are more than enough.
#self care#self love#self acceptance#healing#mental health#recovery#be kind to yourself#things i wish i could tell my 19 year old self
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Self-doubt or self-sabotage?
Conquering the fear of being seen so you can achieve your dreams.
Historically, humans lived in small, close-knit groups or tribes, typically consisting of about 150 individuals, known as Dunbar's number. This limited number of social connections was manageable for our brains, allowing us to form meaningful relationships and navigate social hierarchies effectively. Today, we are constantly exposed to a vast number of people through social media, where we can have hundreds or even thousands of connections. This can overwhelm our brain's capacity to manage social relationships. Early human survival depended heavily on being part of a group. Being accepted by the tribe meant safety, resources, and cooperation. Rejection could lead to isolation and danger. In modern settings, being authentic in front of many people, such as on social media or in public speaking, can feel like facing a large, judgmental audience. This can trigger anxiety as our brains interpret this as a potential threat to our social standing. Authenticity often involves expressing opinions, emotions, and personal stories. The fear of negative reactions, criticism, or misunderstanding can make us feel exposed and vulnerable.
Here are some common examples of self-doubt:
- Impostor Syndrome - Fear of Failure - Comparison to Others - Negative Self-Talk - Perfectionism - Limiting Beliefs - Seeking External Validation - Setting Unrealistic Expectations - Fear of Rejection or Criticism
How to overcome self-doubt:
1. Recognise and Acknowledge Your Feelings
Start by acknowledging and accepting your self-doubt and fear of being seen. Understand that these feelings are common and normal, but they don't define you.
2. Challenge Negative Thoughts
Challenge negative thoughts and beliefs about yourself by examining the evidence that supports them. Question the validity of these thoughts and replace them with more realistic and supportive ones.
3. Self-Compassion
Treat yourself with kindness and understanding, especially when facing self-doubt or fear. Practice self-compassion by speaking to yourself in a gentle and encouraging manner, as you would to a friend in need.
4. Embrace Imperfection
Accept that it's okay to be imperfect and that making mistakes is a natural part of growth and learning. Embrace your flaws and vulnerabilities, as they make you human and relatable.
5. Set Realistic Goals
Set realistic and achievable goals for yourself, taking into account your abilities and limitations. Break larger goals into smaller, more manageable steps, and celebrate each accomplishment along the way.
6. Focus on Your Strengths
Identify your strengths and talents, and focus on nurturing and developing them. Remind yourself of past successes and achievements to boost your confidence and self-belief.
7. Exposure Therapy
Gradually expose yourself to situations that trigger self-doubt or fear of being seen. Start with small, manageable steps and gradually increase the level of exposure over time. Each successful exposure will build your confidence and resilience.
8. Seek Support
Reach out to supportive friends, family members, or a therapist for guidance and encouragement. Share your feelings and experiences with someone you trust, and allow them to offer perspective and support.
9. Visualise Success
Visualise yourself overcoming self-doubt and fear, and imagine yourself succeeding in situations that challenge you. Visualisation can help boost your confidence and reinforce positive beliefs about yourself.
10. Take Action Despite Fear
Take action despite feeling afraid or uncertain. Recognise that courage is not the absence of fear but the willingness to act despite it. Step out of your comfort zone and embrace new opportunities for growth and self-discovery.
11. Practice Mindfulness and Relaxation Techniques
Practice mindfulness meditation, deep breathing, or other relaxation techniques to calm your mind and reduce feelings of anxiety and self-doubt. These practices can help you stay grounded and present in the moment.
12. Celebrate Your Progress
Celebrate your progress and achievements, no matter how small. Acknowledge your efforts and accomplishments, and recognize the courage it takes to face your fears and self-doubt head-on.
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I don't. The thing is I am a Star Wars Prequels fan first and foremost, here. I like the original trilogy, it's fine, but that's not what keeps me awake at night.
I don't give a shit about the sith. I don't find them interesting. I was always here for the impossible situations the jedi and the protagonist senators and other kinds of heroes were finding themselves in. The ones without an obvious answer. The ones they could get wrong. The ones they would get wrong because it's a tragedy, and sometimes I like to cry my eyes out over made-up people.
And even after several years of fandom, that's still basically what I want. I want the jedi (and other characters) to be put in the situations. I want them be unsure what the right path is. I like watching them make mistakes.
Some call it nuance, some call it flaws. I'm tempted to just call it being people. That's the sweet spot I'm after: not saints, not devils, just people. People fuck up. People are very varied. They have a culture- does every aspect need to be dissected for faults? Can it not exist even in a state of imperfection?
It can get complicated, maybe. I've encountered plenty the attitude that the jedi are evil because they are humans but are meant to be more than that. I have blocked absolutely relentless commenters of this who would show up on every post with this exact philosophy
… But it can become a subtle distinction. For some time I was blissfully unaware of Filoni's views on the simple basis that the jedi in the clone wars were more real and human than the generic antagonists I tended to see in fanfic.
It is a distinction, though. Human (derogatory) and human (empathetically) are different approaches, which does show up here and there.
The thing about star wars, and the prequels, and the jedi, is that no matter how you try to slice it, the story of a genocide is inextricably woven into a story about jedi. Every one of your #shots fired about their eventual downfall is accompanied by…. a systemic extermination campaign by a nazi allegory……….. and even if that's not something you're willing to contemplate, that's just going to make people uncomfortable. Especially if you start adding talk about a shadowy cabal secretly controlling everything who also steal children etc. Listen, I know that the jedi are fictional. That's not what you should be considering when you say these things.
So you end up with these two fundamentally diametrically opposed stories:
Here's this religious minority who are literally in touch with their divine force. This does not make them gods, so they have flaws, weaknesses, and make mistakes. They are murdered. This is the beginning of an imperial age. (compassion is at the centre of their philosophy. anyone can be compassionate, with or without the force.)
Here's this bunch of corrupt overpowered secret police who hold their position by maintaining a mythology of super-humaness, but psyche! Wealthy elites are also degenerate humans, which is of course forgivable in US, but not THEM. They were supposed to be the model minority. KILL THEM
#look i started out with the intention of being all measured and the like#but I lost concentration so here's what you get
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Okay. Let's talk Jamie and Roy getting beers and being idiots.
I know we are all still processing that whirlwind of a finale. I'm understanding that a lot of people hate the Roy & Jamie scene because it is 1) backslide-y (true) 2) they treat Keeley like a prize to be won (true) and 3) it's OOC (I actually disagree with this one, but I can understand why it's complicated). I want to start off by saying I completely see where this opinion is coming from and I respect everyone who just hates the scene because it shows normally kind characters being very unkind to each other etc. This is less me arguing against that as it is me trying to articulate (at great length, sorry) why it not only worked for me, but I genuinely liked it.
I like to think I strike a balance between loving everything the show has done and hating overwhelmingly on a show I claim to enjoy, but sure, you could definitely argue that I'm just giving my favorite characters the benefit of the doubt, or making excuses for them, because they're my favorite characters. I'll admit I'm historically very forgiving of all the main characters' many fuck-ups on Ted Lasso, but that's because I think the show works best when it emphasizes how kindness, forgiveness, friendship and love can still operate between imperfect, flawed people. I like seeing them make realistic mistakes much more than I like everyone handling everything perfectly, I'll bite.
So, back to Jamie and Roy. I enjoyed their finale plot because despite them making a world of mistakes, the regression felt very, very human. I don't agree at all with the take that this somehow erased all the progress they've made this season or the friendship the show has lovingly crafted between them. In fact, I think this actively reiterated it! (Note: I am operating with my ot3 goggles on at all times, so I'm going to write this with that at least partially in mind, but I think the gist of it works even if you ignore the bits that get a little shippy.)
For both Jamie and Roy, Keeley and their love for her is a major beacon guiding them. I think that is the crisp, clear thing in both of their heads this episode: Keeley is the love of my life. And they both believe that wholeheartedly, and they both want to be with her. (and it's goofy to pretend this came out of nowhere for Jamie/since when is Jamie still in love with her/etc. because he literally told her and us this last season and nothing that has happened since has indicated otherwise, btw.) But there's also something else now, which is their relationship with each other, battling with their Keeley thoughts. It's like, in Roy's head, for instance, I imagine there are two wolves: on the one hand he loves Keeley, and wants to be with her, and plans to win back her heart. On the other hand, there's his love and care for Jamie Tartt, which is much less defined and inarticulate and maybe still a little repressed, but just as overpowering. His love for Keeley feels so simple and clear in comparison, while his love for Jamie is something complicated and unsure, and in this episode, he's leaning hard into the first to avoid unpacking the second.
So Roy starts off strong. He sees Jamie with Keeley in the hallway and he doesn't flip out!! Instead, he approaches Jamie calmly, and invites him out for beers. Think about how different this is from his reaction to Jamie's love confession to Keeley in season 2. This is Roy's growth in action, and it's a resounding sign of just how important Jamie is to Roy now. Even when he is feeling jealous of the woman he loves potentially leaving him behind for a man he loves (a completely natural reaction, let's be so real, if not a "good" one), he also knows that for as much as he wants to be with Keeley, he doesn't want to lose his friendship with Jamie.
As for Jamie, I know some people took his reaction and subsequent response to Nate's question as like, shock at the realization that he and Roy are actually friends now, which I agree is something that had to have come earlier in the timeline (what was Mom City if not that) and would seem very out of place at this point. What I saw it as instead was Jamie's brain more just. sort of short-circuiting? Because: holy shit isn't this the best day ever? First Keeley agreed to go to Brazil with me and now Roy is asking me on a date for beers? this is so sound. This invite is out of place behavior from Roy even within the parameters of their friendship, because they still have a match to win and Roy has banned Jamie from beers as part of his training and despite them being close now I find it hard to believe that Roy often comes up to him right there in dressing room to ask him to grab a beer with no pretense.
Therefore, they're already walking into that bar in completely different head-spaces. Jamie isn't planning to discuss Keeley, and for Roy that is his major intention behind the evening. Jamie is nervous and downing his beer, and Roy is internally panicking, I'm imagining, over when and how to bring Keeley up. I think Roy is thinking: Well, I don't intend to stop pursuing Keeley, I genuinely don't want Jamie's feelings to be hurt when I get back together with her (and yes, it is a huge presumption for him to assume Keeley's going to eventually take him back. But I think it's also an understandable one), so I've got to tell Jamie I care about him, and that I'm going to keep going after Keeley, and he needs to be okay with that so that this won't get in the way of our friendship, which I also desperately need and am unwilling to give up. In his mind, Jamie is of course going to accept all of this, because Roy and Keeley are soulmates, which Jamie will clearly recognize deep down because it is so obvious and right and anyway, Jamie always does what Roy tells him to do (again, this is all misguided thinking. But we can see how Roy's anxious little brain that's bad at processing feelings and holding space for emotions could get himself here, can't we?).
So again, we start off strong with Roy saying he's proud of Jamie and them both thanking one another. But then Roy's blurting out nonsense about how Jamie just needs to pull himself out of the running and just let Roy be with Keeley. Which is obviously not on. And Jamie responds, simply, with No. I'd argue this is also a huge step for Jamie. Jamie really doesn't tell Roy no anymore, he doesn't tell anyone no. Jamie has spent so much of his time since coming back to Richmond working to be the person everyone around him wants and expects him to be. This is him fighting for something he wants for once, doing what is best for him. It was a fabulous progression to see. In the moment, boy does it work Roy up, because why is Jamie not agreeing with me, Jamie always agrees with me? but obviously at this point, Jamie is in the right. His relationship with Keeley was no less meaningful than Roy's just because Roy says it was, Roy doesn't have any claim on her, and there's no real reason Jamie should not try and shoot his shot with Keeley if Roy is going to do the same.
Here's where things start to spiral. Established flaws we know about Roy: he's competitive. He's bad at voicing his feelings productively. And he is territorial about the people he loves, a category that safely includes both Jamie and Keeley at this point in time, for better and sometimes worse. Yes, his next actions are grossly possessive over Keeley, yes Roy has made a lot of effort over the past year to do and be better than that, to break free of that cycle. But look, it's not a linear process. He's going to still mess up, and he does here. In fact he's downright mean, weaponizing Keeley against Jamie and throwing having sex with Keeley a month ago into Jamie's face, bragging about it, boasting. Same old cycle, same old patterns of ego-driven, prideful mistakes.
Which promptly prompts Jamie to also fuck up by bringing up the leak. It's a concentrated response intended to get a suitable rise out of Roy, because Roy has really, genuinely hurt him here, and Jamie knows bringing up that video is the one thing that will hurt Roy just as much in turn. It's not the right thing to do, obviously, but again, it's such a human thing to do. Hurt the person who's hurt you right back, even if you're hurting someone else (Keeley) by extension. Mind you, Jamie came here expecting a hangout (/date) with Roy over a rare beer, and instead he got Roy being a complete asshole and lecturing nonsense at him out of seemingly nowhere. He reacts to this change-up, well, not greatly. There is something so messy and emotionally complicated happening here and it hinges on how very much Jamie and Roy care about each other, not negates it.
Keeley, queen that she is, rejects them both out of hand and kicks them out not the curb immediately because they're both being complete idiots, acting like they're so gracious in giving her the honor and privilege of choosing between them. Not to mention they've clearly got something going on between them they haven't worked through and that sure as shit isn't her problem, is it? Keeley (presumably, and I wish we had seen this) calls them out their shit and tosses them right back out the door.
Which leaves Jamie and Roy to lament how they've let their egos get away from them, they've been idiots (which they acknowledge immediately) and decide that now they should go for kebabs, presumably to actually hangout this time, not to interrupt themselves with inflated talk about who "deserves" Keeley more. They both screwed up, they acknowledge it, and all they can do is try again tomorrow, and in the meantime, go on that kebab date.
I guess....I can just see where both of them are coming from? it's not mature behavior, obviously, it's maybe not what we would have liked to have seen from them in the finale episode of the show. But it was regression that I didn't feel impeded their overall progress. Roy in particular was being a complete dick about it, but that's why the very next morning he's finally knocking on the Diamond Dogs' door. And honestly, that conversation was heartbreaking. When Roy admitted he'd expected, after a year of putting in the work, to be a whole new person...god. This is a man who still completely hates himself, to the point where he can't quite grasp that he can be better where he's at now, that he doesn't have to transform magically into someone new in order to do right by himself and others. And so he has to consciously determine, once again, to do better, be better.
The message is: change isn't linear, you're going to fuck-up, and fall back into old patterns. What matters is trying every day to do better together, and be better for one another, than you were the day before. That is the meeting point all three sides of the royjamiekeeley triangle were heading towards by the end of the episode.
So yes, it was rushed, because no one gets much screen time in a finale (and the overarching issue with this season anyway is god awful pacing. The last three episodes could've easily been the second half of the season, while the first half of the season was stretched out and largely extraneous). And yes, I would've liked a more thoughtful follow-up conversation between Roy and Keeley or all three of them. My biggest issue was that we didn't get to hear Keeley's voice hardly at all. I would at the very least have liked to have seen her setting them straight at her kitchen table, because turning both of them down signifies very important growth in her, too, and I would've liked exploring that more explicitly. So it wasn't perfect. But I still liked it, I really did.
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I think some people forget that peppino can be kind of a jerk. He's not your perfect awkward nervous guy who can do no wrong, he is not perfect, but that doesn't make him a bad guy. He has flaws, because thats a normal human thing to have.
Sometimes he gets angry and a bit mean, sometimes he takes joy in beating the shit out of the tower residents, sometimes he gets selfish or says something mean to someone. His anxiety is not his only flaw, please don't forget that. He is not a perfect sunshine boy who can do no wrong. He is not nice and friendly 100% of the time. He is a human person, he is a complex being who cannot be easily defined as completely good or completely bad.
Sometimes good people do shitty things. Sometimes a person will not act in the kindest way possible. Sometimes someone will do something not realising (or caring) how it makes others feel. Sometimes people have bad days. Sometimes people make mistakes. Sometimes people are wrong.
Peppino is a human, he is not immune to being a jerk sometimes. Again, this doesn't make him a bad person, it just makes him human, and I don't want people to forget that and misinterpret him as being someone whos only flaw is his anxiety. Yes it is a key part of his character, but theres more to this guy than that, thats not his only flaw or imperfection or whatever you want to call it. He's not 'kind perfect guy who also has anxiety', theres more detail to who he is than that.
Peppino can be a bit mean, Peppino can be hotheaded, and you know what? Thats okay because thats what a person is like sometimes, and that is a sign of a complex and realisticly written character (even if he is a cartoon guy, his personality still feels realistic). He's not the same guy all of the time, he doesnt respond to every situation in the same way, he's not a one note character. Sometimes he sucks as a person, but its okay because despite all that, he's a loveable and endearing character, and he isn't a horrible terrible person, he just is human, and thats okay.
#okay rant over just had to get that out#pizza tower#peppino spaghetti#peppino pizza tower#pizza tower peppino#pizza rambles#I'm not implying that having anxiety or other mental illnesses is a flaw or makes you a flawed person I just couldnt think of a better word#so sorry if it comes across that way!#I dont even know if I made any sense and got my point across but hopefully I did#my guy kind of sucks and that okay because I love him#sometimes people get such heavily head canoned interpretations of someone they forget what the actual character is like#and its like yeah nothing wrong with hcs but you got to remind yourself that maybe your version of him isnt the same as he is in canon#your brain can twist a character into your idealised perfect version of them which can stray from the actual guy you started with#and you gotta remind yourself of that sometimes#of course if were talking about au peppinos than ignore all of this but if were talking about just regular guy peppino than please remember#he's a bit of jerk sometimes okay? and we love him for that
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On the freckles + Geppetto (Spoilers below)
Geppetto saying "it looks like you inherited his personality instead of his memories" is very very suspicious, and he says "personality" with such disdain - if you were a father who loved their child, wouldn't you want them to retain their core persona of who they were, than remember exactly everything from your past? I don't know, is it just me, or doesn't it feel like it's more important? I know memories make us who we are, but it still really came across as a deliberate piece of dialogue to word
Geppetto didn't want Carlo back, he specifically wants an obedient version of him, the rotting/preserved corpse body puppet is to show that Carlo was long gone. Remember that one of the most important decisions in the game is granting Sophia "her peace", which is her having the choice to end her own life. And then the nameless puppet is revealed, and it's as if Carlo is being kept alive against his own will (like as Simon does with Sophia). no wonder carlo didn't like him, the really disturbing thing is that nameless puppet still defies Geppetto in the end which suggests that it/(he??) is still somewhat conscious?? .. wat.
Another Character design I've noticed... and this is me making BIG leaps, by the way, I don't mean to make any statement on korean culture as a whole, but skin has a lot of symbolic meaning, and importance, in korean society. I know every country has stuff like this, but it seems really significant here considering this is a korean studio, ill try to get into why
P has very noticeable freckles on his skin, I can even say that they're hard to ignore (especially his right cheek), they're even visible in promotional material. and the irony is that he possesses these "flaws" and is more human-like despite being "artificial", he also has visible pores!! something completely natural, human, that stringent societal norms might deem as "imperfect"
Freckles can be seen as "imperfections" in korean culture (I mean I can only guess, and I suppose this negative perception is a little the same in the west as well?), they have this term called "glass skin" which is what is deemed as the "ideal": zero blemishes, really even tone, and often lighter in tone is seen as "beautiful", and there's a lot of pressure to be that way. It's a really pervasive idea that I don't think I am in the position to really talk about, and I don't mean to demean the culture, it's not like this is exclusive to korea/asia, I'm just mentioning it to explain this in the context of the game
And then "Carlo" doesn't have ANY of these things. He has "PERFECT" skin, those freckles are just gone. I feel like this isn't just a mistake. it kind of gets a message across about Geppetto's real intentions in reviving him. I mean, it's possible that maybe it's more of a siblings situation, and Carlo simply just didn't have freckles? but if you think about it from a storytelling perspective, remember that Geppetto refers to him as "mischievous", an odd translation maybe, but everything else suggests that the real Carlo was actually deeply defiant of his father while he was alive, again I think it sends a message about Giuseppe re-creating his son but without the things he saw as "flaws" in his son that he didn't like
yeah... loving this game more and more by the day
#lies of p#LOP#choi ji won on that king shit#spoilers#lies of P spoilers#theory#tw suicide mention#spoiler
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