#and this is still THEIR arc which is fucked up of me honestly idk how i missed that when initially drafting

[magic-is-something-we-create]

i must say, writing a book like whispers for once (aka one where i know 90% of the main storyline going in and enough of the other to improvise it well) has meant editing is... way easier than it has been before.

[diamondcitydarlin]

----LOTS OF SPOILERS FOR THE FILM BELOW BE AWARE---

The thing that's driving me kinda CRAZY about the sequel though is how perfectly it sets up a personal arc for Lydia to be intertwined with Beej's. Like I said in my reaction post after seeing the film last night, I feel like Lydia as a character doesn't really get much of an arc or a resolution by the end of the story, as most of the plot is focused on repairing her relationship with her daughter, with Delia, maybe even her ex-husband to a certain extent, and for as much as she's rid of someone actually preying on her (Rory) we have no reason to believe she's found inner peace or really discovered herself or isn't still constantly popping pills to help with the 'gift' of sight she still has to deal with. There's so much about her left unresolved that Tim is either going to have to make another film about or I will have to fanfic about. But again, what's also fascinating is the way the beats of Lydia's story become tangled up with Beej's by the end of this, and also the ambiguous suggestion that there might be some kind of red string of fate linking them together across life and death and centuries (my kingdom for Beej saying "I've crossed oceans of time to find you" in a deep sexy Dracula voice and Lydia being like "plz shut the fuck up" LMAO)

Like, the 'psychic connection'. The thing that makes Lydia able to see and interact with Beej in places other than the house/model in Winter River. At first I think we're led to believe these are genuine hallucinations she's having, but ofc that's debunked when Beej reveals he's aware of these sightings and has been participating in them on purpose. Does this suggest that their first marriage may have been binding in some way that didn't release him from death, but allowed him more range to manifest so long as he was attached to her? That's not really addressed or explained, but I feel like it opens the possibility of being a thing (as so many fanfics have had happen before, I LOVE it tbh)

Also, the parallel of them both having had predatory exes that tricked them into 'selling their souls' (one in a figurative sense, the other literally lmao). I'm honestly shocked more conclusions weren't drawn from that conspicuous parallel in the film itself, because it's VERY interesting. It seems almost to suggest they're both meant to safeguard each other's souls (which is why I'm still bitter we didn't get Lydia defending him from Delores, I think that would've been a nice follow up to Beej saving her from Rory, even if she was just doing it out of a sense of obligation).

And idk, on the whole I feel a lot of Lydia's personal struggle at this point in her life is defined by a need to feel 'normal'. I get how that can seem odd coming from the teen girl that confidently described herself as 'strange and unusual', but this is 30 years later, after several failed relationships, after becoming a mom and struggling with a strained relationship with her daughter because of her oddity, idk, I think it's a good case study on how society forces women to conform lest they be a bad daughter or a bad mom or a bad wife, etc, but I think it's obvious she's just fighting her 'strange and unusual' nature and the more she does that, the more difficult her life will be.

To me, that suggests her path to happiness has actually a lot to do with Beej, or very well could. Who else is going to understand her true nature the way he does? Who else is going to unashamedly encourage her to be balls to the wall weirdo like she REALLY is??? Who else can truly set her free that way??? Like I'm gnawing on wires here yall, if nothing else Tim gave us SO much fanfic material to work with on this one.

[justcallmesakira]

HIII OMG I haven’t had a good laugh in a while until i came across your fyodor’s sis dating dazai hcs IT GOT ME ROLLING ON THE FLOOR 😭 can i request for dazai’s sister dating fyodor if you’re up for it? fluff crack make it silly if you want i’ll enjoy anything from you for sure!!

"Dazai with a sister dating Fyodor!"

Sypnosis: Uh oh! Looks like Dazais one and only sister he grew up with is dating a rat who the entirety of yokohama is after!

Genre: crack, suggestive? (idk sth is wrong with me)

Warning: More blasting, bombing, terrorrist, rizz,

A/N: AHHH I AM SO HAPPY U ENJOYED IT- AND I AM MORE THEN HAPPY BCS I MADE YOU LAUGH !!! >.<

nahhh like brother like sister :/

NO BCS i feel like fyodor just wanted to temper dazai by using his ugly breedable charms on you

But it backfired terribly! (like his posture)

Though you were his one and oNlY eNeMyS blood relative he just couldnt help but flirt with you and perhaps ykyk do those romantic stuff ppl do

This is so ooc rn ;skull emoji 69x;

However you were extremly LIKE extremly careful to not let your brother know

You literly sneaked off the house as if you were sneaking inthe kitchen to cook a whole buffet at 3am!!

Except you were sneaking off to EAT a whole buffet😏😏

Even the rat himself helped you to sneak to his rusty ahh apartment

Wow! The first thing he actually did for others!!!!!

Honestly dazai would be chill though-

Like oh his sister is dating someone? welp sure! i have exes all around the city hope its not one of them though hehe...HeHe

FUCKING SLU--

You took the risk of rizzing fyodor up infront of him though like:

"I am crime, I am punishment" you: "I know something else you can punish :3"

Dazai woke back from the dead with em bones fish eye when u said that

AYYY DAZAI IN HIS MELANIE MARTINEZ "PORTALS" ERA!!!!1😍

When he find out though.....oh god hes going to give you that light skin stare, with his eyes turning into nothing but a pitch black void

like my soul-- OKAY THIS IS THE LAST ONE I PROMISE--

One day you met up with fyodor and you were so excited that you nearly threw his anemic ass to the ground

"Yaaaah fedya,!! we finally met! dont give me that face do u know how hard it is to come and meet you when my lazy ahh brother puts trackers on me!" "Malyshka, please calm down---''

All of a sudden u could hear shuffling which instantly cautions the both of you only for your eyes to be meeted with your brothers eye turning into nothing but pitch black like the face he gave when he saw mori

your getting grounded <3

"Out of all people...out of 8 billion people, sister😀" "I-i-i-i i can explain"

he then looked at fyodor with the ugliest angry face ever "YOU FUCKING RAT HOW DARE YOU WOO MY SISTER WITH FEHUYOUR UGFLY AHH RATUTILLIE NO RIZZ MANIUPULATION I AM GONNA BLAST YO-"

damn.. dazai become eminem

the shift mood between to u then to fyodor was so funny

LIKE YALL SAW THE ADVICE FYODOR GAVE TO DAZAI IN THEIR CELLS? THATS A BIT--- UM YANDERE??????!!

"BROTHER CALM DOWN I WAS NOT MANIUPULATED TF-" "THAT WONT STOP ME FROM MY MANSLAUGHTER ARC" "WHAT?--"

#siblinggoalsfr

fyodor honestly only glared at him with a smile that said "If they annoy you, go for their sibling"

dazai YANKED Your arm taking you back to you apartment and just stared at you as if you got a B in maths

uh oh...

So YEAH after hours of not being able to calm him down he finally accepted!

Dazai gifted fyodor a dead rat in a helicopter after he accepted you guys😍😍😍

No bcz i think u and nikolai would have matching energy--

Nikolai: "Dos-kun bites his nails!" You: "Real except he bites my neck!"

one day ranpo jolted up from his seat with fisheye and slowly turned to you as if you ate his (dead)mother

"Dazai Y/N, you did not..." "Oh yes yes i just did :3"

everybody was so confused like did you steal his snacks or sth???

"like brother like sister i guess...." -ranpo after finding out his bestie is doing unholy things to his enemy

JKJK-

Dazai acted so overdramatic omg- ugh hes so babygirl

"I still cant believe it... MY OWN SISTER DATING-DAT-DATING A STINKY RAT! Wait- WHAT IF YOU GET MARRIED???????!!!!! WILL YOUR NAME BE D-D-D-DOS-DOE RATVESKY?? sis you better let him take your name WAIT NO I WILL NOT SHARE MY NAME WITH HIM UGFYDUTYFE"

dramatic gossip girlie fr

like its literly like

"I took your victory😈" "I took your sisters viriginty😈😈😈"

i am so sorry-WAHHHHHHHHHH- *gets shot in the head by reader for being so dirty*

during gatherings, they just smile at each other protesting in their minds who can take care of u better while your in a chair rollin around and going :3

kuro kuro kuro kuroooo kuro kuro kuro kuro ding luro kuro ding~

until your silly ahh falls! :D

And its just a second of time to see who can cath you first-

Dazais going to turn your wedding into an arson commitment!

"Breaking news!, Depressed man who half the fandom slanders burns down his sisters wdding venue with soy sauce!"

Well... its a funky ride! but hey its fyodor

A/N: i know its short but i tried okay- ENJOY!! i love doing crack if i cant laugh or be happy i will make others happy!! <33

Divider crds: @nikolaismasquerade

tags! @silverbladexyz @riiwrites @chuuyasboner @heartsfourdazai @atlasnessie @atsquie @tojifile @biscuits-lovely-corner @darling--angst

[alexxncl]

‼️NIGHTBRINGER LESSON 49 SPOILERS‼️

masterlist | all lessons | season 3 | lesson 48.1 | lesson 48.2 | lesson 49.2

now...

it's CANON that he knows he can't cook

so why the fuck 😭

luke :(((( baby :((((((((

i'm glad simeon is finally opening up though. luke being able to event talk to simeon about (before simeon himself, mind you) this proves that he's more than mature enough to have conversations like this. i love seeing how much he's grown since the beginning of the game

didn't take a screenshot of this bc i can only post 10 pictures per post, BUT i'm glad the fact that raphael showed up out of nowhere wasn't glossed over bc why is he here ??? respectfully

this is why simeon don't talk to nobody 😭 y'all can't take SHIT seriously

but in all honesty i'd just shut down and stop talking bc i get overwhelmed easily

but oh luke...

i hope he takes this as a "hm maybe the celestial realm isn't as good as it seems, maybe things aren't just black and white" instead of immediately jumping to "no simeon's too kind to be a demon bc all demons are mean and they suck", but i feel like the devs are gonna go with the latter simply bc they love giving luke development and then ripping it away seconds later

(for context, the other response was something along the lines of "he really cried his eyes out, huh?")

regardless of how much luke has grown and matured, he's still a kid. like, a kid kid. they cry when they're upset, when they're angry, when they're throwing a tantrum, and when theyre confused and/or overwhelmed. i feel like the latter might be the case with luke, which is why i chose the "i'm sure he'll be ok" option

more on this here

they're making it sound like simeon is queer/trans and honestly...i'm here for it. but that's partially bc i fall under both umbrellas. i love projecting 🫶🏽

i do wish it were this easy to come out and have your family/friends accept you bc it was a doozy for me 🫠

ANYWAYS

angst. give me more. PLEASE

i'm just so so glad that he's actually opening up. in the past, it felt like every time we get a crumb of vulnerability, he'd shut back down and act like everything was okay. idk if it's because he's more comfortable in his identity and place in the world, or his place in mc and the brothers' life, but he's more prone to actually talking about what's bothering him. it makes me happy

...this makes me a little less happy

ik simeon his his qualms with the celestial realm, but all in all, he probably still sees the place as his home and the people there as his family

what if this whole arc ends with the celestial realm opening its gates to (certain) demons? what if the boys get to visit their old home for the first time in literal millenia? and what if they get to show satan around?

idk y'all i'm trying to be hopeful, but hope can only get you so far when it comes to this game 😭

development at its finest

not focusing on a way to "fix" simeon, but to help deal with the situation at hand despite and because of simeon's condition

...ig the angst could only last for so long. back to the nerdy shit

[showtoonzfan]

Just want to preface this by saying i love ur analysis sm- u put my exact thoughts into words when i cant verbalise whats wrong with a particular writing decision 🥲🥲

Anyway, smth ive noticed is how... little time vivzie actually spends on writing or characterizing or fleshing out her characters.

Which has to be the weirdest thing so far bc every writer and artist ive met agree that its the best part of making an oc! Its so fun to think of backstories and tie that into their current personality and generally just figuring out random details to get to know your characters!

Like, my ocs are my best friends, i know everything abt them from their trauma and childhoods, to their favourite food and music.

But time and time again she proves that her characters are at best acquaintances... the fandom fleshes out the characters so well and with so much love and care and thought that vivzie herself cant do and its just sad.

Not even mentioning the hundreds of retcons and how characters will just change personality randomly or act out of character which results in the work feeling like a fanfic of itself. (Ironic considering some fanfics have better and more consistent characterisation)

It feels like shes making it up as she goes, instead of having an actual plan. Just shoving random ideas she likes or picks up from the much more creative fandom into the 2 shows without actually stopping and thinking abt the consequences or implications.

Theres so many decisions shes made that irk me so bad... the ideas individually have potential but they either dont fit the show or have to make huge retcons and result in the plot not making any sense.

Also, ngl but she has the worst case of tell dont show ive ever seen my god 😭😭 like... you realise you have to show things instead of just fucking singing it or having a character say it??? Or is that another thing that the fandom has to do so they can convince themselves that the show has good characters??

Atp idk how to salvage the show... i keep finding more and more plotholes and unless i literally turn my brain off and only focus on haha funny dick joke or pwetty colors, these questions keep popping into my head making it a painful unenjoyable experience.

Again, if the fandom has to justify your bad nonsensical hypocritical worldbuilding then you failed. Massively.

Anyway im very sleepy rn just wanted to rant a bit bc im a writer and artist myself and it pisses me off how someone gets their show on the air and still doesnt care abt putting in effort into their plot or characters beyond aesthetics and random ideas that dont go well together...

You’re speaking facts! And it’s honestly like..kinda funny too that people who have their own OC’s can flesh them out and deep dive into their arcs/backstories ect, yet a professional showrunner who’s had these characters for YEARS can’t even give the majority of her characters flaws or quirks, or even consistency, same goes for Helluva Boss.

Viv is a really good example at letting inspired writers know what not to do when making a story and characters so at least they have that lol.

[purplink8]

Hate hate HATE what the anime did to the way Sayu's kidnapping was handled (specifically by Light). The anime just wants to show how utterly devoid of love anime!Light (coz no manga!Light would never seriously consider killing Sayu oh my god) is even towards his family at the face of his Kira goals.

Contrary to the manga (which i prefer who would've guessed) in which Light is shown very genuinely caring for his family! And you know just who wanted to save Sayu more? Or who was more active in saving her between Light & Soichiro?

It was Light (at least manga!Light coz idk what the hell was going on in anime!Light's mind during that episode). Yeah, I know. It might be surprising to those who haven't read the manga but this protective brother of Sayu's? Cares for her deeply.

And the anime just had to fuck that up, hadn't it? 🤦🏻‍♀️

I hate episode 28 (titled 'Impatience') of the anime with a burning passion. So much so that I'll compare it with how the plot ACTUALLY transpires in the Manga.

This post is...long: I've tried my hardest to not go overboard with my negative(?) rant against the anime but it was an impossible task imo /o\

If any of the points mentioned in this post are good, they are due to tumblr user casuistor's post which I read on a regular basis. (Go check it out!! It's much much better than anything I could've written in my whole life. Yes, I'm a fan :)

If there are any mistakes, it would be entirely correct to attribute them to me.

I admit I hadn't paid much attention to the manga the first time I had read it but holy shit even then I had picked up on how close the Yagami siblings were!

I couldn't make much sense of the plot of the 2nd arc (I wasn't completely over L's death so forgive me for being in a daze) and yet I was absolutely sure of the fact that Light had done everything in his power to save Sayu. Even if you were not following the plot closely, you'd still understand that fact (which the anime did much worse than deliberately ignoring it). Why?

Because Ryuk kindly summarizes the plot/points this out:

Honestly, I don't even need to go on at this point now, do I? Ryuk, who never fails to call out Light (for example, saying that Light will be the only bad guy left if he kills every 'bad' guy out there in chapter 1), has just confirmed what thoughtful manga readers already knew: Light has a soft spot for his sister.

I'm still petty at the anime so I won't stop at this point. I'll first explain how it goes in the manga, then how the anime butchered it. Let's gooo!

To understand the circumstances surrounding Sayu's kidnapping, we need to note that the NPA director Takimura is kidnapped by Mello first for the exchange of the notebook. Soichiro notifies every bureau of the NPA. And Light, of course, doesn't hesitate for a minute to kill Takimura (obviously, the priority of Death Note >>> the life of Takimura, to Light).

This is supposed to happen behind the scenes in the manga compared to the anime which makes Light killing Takimura much more obvious:

-episode 27: Abduction

Anyways, it's part of Light's plan to let the kidnappers take the fall for Takimura's death (so that Kira won't be blamed for his murder. And since only the kidnappers and the NPA know about the kidnapping: it won't be assumed that Kira has any link to the NPA).

Light seriously doubts that the kidnappers would just drop the issue due to Takimura's death and he's right. Sayu is kidnapped.

Mello is taking full responsibility for Takimura's death just like Light intended him to. However, this time, rather than any person whom Light could've easily disposed of (like Takimura) to avoid letting the notebook fall into the kidnappers' hands, Sayu- the sister for whom Light cares deeply- is kidnapped instead.

Not only that, Mello expects Soichiro to keep this a secret from the rest of the NPA personnel otherwise as he threatens, he'll kill Sayu. Now, we know that during Takimura's kidnapping, rest of the NPA were notified of the fact (Yes, the circumstances are quite different- there wasn't a threat to Takimura's life for letting the others know of his kidnapping), Ide points this out:

Ide is apparently okay with Sayu's death and appeals to (read: pressures) 'duty/justice above my family' side of Soichiro Yagami to send word to every NPA department even if that means Sayu will be killed. And you know what? Soichiro actually agrees to do so!

I would like you to see Light's reaction here, these panels come directly after the above one:

Light wastes no time to completely change his plan to have everyone assume that it was the kidnappers who killed Takimura to -> Kira did it. This was Light's previous plan before Sayu got involved:

"It's part of Light's plan to let the kidnappers take the fall for Takimura's death (so that Kira won't be blamed for his murder. And since only the kidnappers and the NPA know about the kidnapping: it won't be assumed that Kira has any link to the NPA)."

This changing of plans that Light does immediately is actively detrimental to Light's Kira's cause (in other words, disadvantageous to Kira's goals). Look at Light digging a hole for himself just to save his sister:

Light argues to not notify the other NPA departments otherwise Kira would know about the kidnapping and kill Sayu (and they wouldn't get a chance to investigate the kidnappers if Kira kills Sayu before they can negotiate with them). So their best bet is to keep quiet about it so that Kira doesn't know; meanwhile they can, as Ide says, try and catch the culprit while negotiating the exchange.

Back to how this is in no way an advantage to Light (as Kira):

Telling the task force that Kira was behind Takimura's murder whose kidnapping was known only to the NPA personnel suggests that Kira has a link to NPA info and may lead to doubt against those in NPA being Kira (the NPA that Light is now the part of) so obviously not a win for Kira/Light.

Light is in now a very bad position if he needs to kill Sayu in the future to avoid the Note falling to the kidnappers' hands. Because now he can't blame Kira for her death, can he? He is the one who stopped them from sending word to rest of the NPA so Kira has (according to Light) theoretically no way of knowing about the exchange with Sayu situation (unless if Kira were in the task force itself thus narrowing down the list of Kira suspects); ergo Kira won't kill her.

So why the hell is Light okay with these disadvantages instead of his previous, practically/pragmatically (for Kira's cause) better plan? Better yet, why not did he kill Sayu himself without a moment of hesitation like he did with Takimura when he had the chance to do so before suggesting that it was Kira who killed Takimura, the kidnappers could've been framed for Sayu's death? Or just allow notifying the NPA personnel so that they made a move and let the kidnappers do the dirty work?

Because, as Ryuk says, Light has a soft spot for his sister:

Note that: Light doesn't even try to deny it in his thoughts ("...that's not all" anyone?). We're talking about the guy who rationalizes his way out of his feelings, who views emotions as the reason 'why most idiots screw up' and he does NOT DENY THAT HE CARES FOR HIS SISTER.

Also worthy of note is how quickly he decides to tell the task force that Kira killed Takimura. Usually, we get a long wall of text of Light planning his every move. Not in this case. I believe it's because this decision was fueled by emotion rather than reason- the emotion being brotherly love ofc.

["A totally emotional decision is typically very fast. This is because it takes time (at least 0.1 seconds) for the rational cortex to get going. This is the reactive (and largely subconscious) decision-making that you encounter in heated arguments or when faced with immediate danger.

Common emotional decisions may use some logic, but the main driving force is emotion, which either overrides logic or uses a pseudo-logic to support emotional choices (this is extremely common)." (as a bonus have this research by Damasio)]

Once, Light has time to think, he goes 'well even if in the worst case scenario (the kidnappers get the note) I have Misa's eyes so I'm still at an advantage eh...?'

He is, instead of contemplating a way to kill Sayu so that the note is safe, thinking (however briefly) of how it won't be muuuuuuuch of a problem if Mello does gets his hands on the note. Idk about you guys but man that rlly gives us an idea of Light's priorities (Sayu>>>>>>Death Note).

Here's instance #2 demonstrating Light's priorities (when Soichiro asks Light to just save Sayu as the former doesn't care if he loses his life. And Light responds by saying don't be a fool etc etc):

#Sayu matters more than the Death Note

Now we come to the scene which the anime seems to have taken to heart to entirely without the context. When Soichiro goes underground for the exchange, we have Near taunting Light (as L number 2)

This is not Light seriously deciding to kill Sayu (remember when he had the time to think over his decision, killing Sayu was not even an option but handing over the note to Mello was, in the worst case (even if he has Misa's eyes, it doesn't mean the idea is any less ridiculous)).

This is him, so stressed that he's coming up with so rubbish ideas that even he goes 'wtf am i thinking??' Because at this point, killing Sayu would be announcing that Kira is among the task force as only they know of Sayu's kidnapping + her name & face, which is again bad for Kira's cause. And the one responsible for this predicament is Light himself as he was the one who told the task force not to alert the NPA personnel.

If Light really had been meaning to kill Sayu, he had plenty of time & opportunity to do so (without the suspicion falling on him) before suggesting that Kira killed Takimura. Light essentially ran in the opposite direction when he was faced with the perfect chance of killing Sayu (just let the others notify the departments of NPA -> kill Sayu -> Blame Kira for it, foolproof. but he did Not take this route as he Loves his sister) and now when it is absolutely NOT AN OPTION (for obvious reasons) he's thinking it since he's stressed to the point of irrationality.

Yes, he's seen thinking this:

...aaaand he can't bring himself to finish the thought because he knows that he did the opposite since he loves Sayu & Soichiro dearly and couldn't bring himself to kill them.

Also look how concerned Light is over the well-being of Sayu & Soichiro that he calls his dad to ask if they're okay:

I hope at this point you believe me when I say that manga!Light never seriously considers killing Sayu. He loves his sister too much for that.

______________________________________________________________

Now we move on to how the anime (fucked it all up) adapted this. I'm not particularly happy with it (understatement of the year) so I'm gonna rant about how inferior it is compared to the manga. Let's gooo!

The plot goes pretty similarly: Takimura is kidnapped ->Light kills him -> Sayu is kidnapped -> Mello demands them not to notify the NPA personnel lest they kill Sayu.

But the change in episode 27 is that they remove the discussion (mainly Ide pressuring Soichiro) around whether to notify the NPA personnel. Soichiro deciding to send word to all departments of NPA is cut so we don't get to see Light swooping in to protect Sayu.

Still, anime!Light does reveal that it was Kira who killed Takimura. And advises the task force to keep Sayu's kidnapping a secret. However, anime!Ryuk doesn't call anime!Light out on him having a soft spot for his sister (coz as far as the anime is concerned, they really REALLY wanna sell the idea that Light doesn't care for Sayu).

It's a lot harder, therefore, to make sense of anime!Light's motivations in changing his plan from having the kidnappers framed for Takimura's murder to admitting that Kira did it. It appears that it happens just because ???

Like there is no reason in manga!Light doing this apart from saving his sister but anime!Light cannot have any redeeming qualities like loving his family, he needs to be a 100% evil villain!! ...So we have zero explanation for anime!Light's actions.

The exchange between Light & Soichiro re: the whole 'I don't care if I die but please save Sayu' + 'You can't die in front of Sayu no matter what...You must make the right decisions so that both you and Sayu live.' occurs without change. But due to the succeeding added anime-only scenes (which I'll talk about later), this conversation sounds fake from Light's side while it is completely genuine in the manga.

Then the infamous scene (which I hate to death) of anime!Light SERIOUSLY considering to kill Sayu comes:

And Misa overhears him saying that in the bathroom coz why not?? make it worse??? :) :) :)

And anime!Light comes as close as to killing Sayu that he even has his watch opened with the piece of the notebook

...wow such an awful brother being a piece of shit >:(

Wait! Can brotherly affection save the day? Has anime!Light finally realized the error of his ways?

Nope. Anime!Light chooses not to kill Sayu not because he loves her but because it would be self-incriminating to do so. Yeah...what. an. asshole.

Light calling his dad to check up on how him & Sayu are doing is cut from the anime. Instead, take a look at how displeased anime!Light is after Sayu is rescued by sacrificing the notebook.

Damn.

...yeah, this is Not the face of someone who's happy with the way things happened (namely losing the Death Note to Mello in exchange for Sayu's life). It's clear where anime!Light's priorities actually lie (Death Note>>>>Family) He's so angry that he takes out his anger on Misa by slapping the drink she offers, out of her hands:

Oh and these scenes are nowhere in the manga, they're just in the anime to emphasize just how big of a jerk brother anime!Light is.

In conclusion! Manga!Light (who's the only Light that matters really imo) loves his sister, would never seriously consider killing her in contrast to anime!Light who is very ready to say 'Sayonara Sayu Yagami' via murder and would've done so if it wasn't self-incriminating.

As you can see manga!Light is far superior to anime!Light. If you've stuck around to read this post to the end (a) I love you & (b) I hope you have a fantabulous day!! <333

[kimbapisnotsushi]

i was feeling shiratorizawa + semiten and kawashira hcs so y'all know the drill LET'S GO

goshiki has 100% forgotten that he sleeps in a bottom bunk bed and consequently has shot up awake at the sound of his alarm only to bang his head on the underside of the top bunk bed

or the ceiling if he has the top bunk it's the same either way

also for some random reason i really enjoy thinking about semi and peach green tea. idk he feels like such a peach green tea person

fun fact when i first got into hq i made a list in my notes app where i could keep track of what i thought EVERY SINGLE CHARACTER (organized by team) would order at a boba shop/cafe so i could reference it for fics. i just looked at it for the first time in years. i apparently put down strawberry black tea for semi which still remains a pretty good choice i think

you know what. semi can be a strawberry black tea AND a peach green tea person. he goes for peach green tea when he feels like straying from his usual strawberry black tea. there i fixed the problem we're back on track

tendou uses the excuse of going on boba runs for the team to get alone time with semi. he'll be like "haha i can't get ALL the drinks by myself!! eita come with me :3" and semi just sighs but is honestly secretly really pleased that tendou would choose him out of everyone to run errands with

the greatest love language of all: running errands together

i actually think that, all things considered, semi was probably a little bit insecure and a little bit shy when it came to performing

like yeah he doesn't mind BEING in the spotlight. but he had to work on thinking he was good enough for it at first if that makes sense??? and i think being benched for shirabu probably exacerbates that

he's not used to showing other people his songs and his music!!! he's not used to being vulnerable!! he's not used to believing that he's skilled!!! because obviously that didn't work out in volleyball!! what if semi isn't actually as good at music as he thought himself to be?

tendou of course is determined to make him throw all these thoughts out the window

furudate please give us the secret cultural festival arc where semi gets a chance to shine because of his musical talents . . .

actually since shiratorizawa is a bunch of rich kids i wonder if yamagata has a smartphone bc i just think that'd make him constantly losing it 100x funnier

yamagata: "can everyone shut the fuck up for like five minutes i lost my phone and need help listening for the vibrations"

honestly why do i feel like half the times yamagata has "lost" his phone was really just tendou messing with him

like he's in the foreground running around looking for it while tendou is in the background snapping selfies with it or whatever

reon, ushijima, and yamagata like to go jogging together early in the morning. semi tried it once and then promptly decided never again

i actually think soft quiet early mornings are reon's favorite time of day!! he gets some peace to himself and he gets to see the sunrise bleed into the sky and he gets that crisp sweet air of fresh dew in the dawn and it's so so comforting to him

god i don't know how he does it i could never be that much of a morning person

however this does also mean reon goes to bed at like nine pm at the latest which tendou is personally offended by

reon the early bird riser who probably does yoga or some shit before meeting ushijima and yamagata vs tendou the night owl who stays up til three reading manga in the dark

genuinely how is tendou functioning at practice he probably stays up til three like four out of seven days of the week

(sorry i know i'm dunking on tendou a lot i'll stop now)

kawanishi will never admit it but he is so incredibly fond of the height difference between him and shirabu

it allows shirabu to fit his head perfectly in the crook of kawanishi's neck during bus rides and such and it makes kawanishi's heart flutter every time

but also kawanishi is MISERABLE during spring because shirabu can't comfortably do that when kawanishi is prone to sneezing like every five minutes

shirabu, teacher's pet that he is, is really good friends with the school librarian

oh my god . . . kawashira blue sky complex au . . . i would actually cry . . .

okay anyways shirabu kenjirou is really good friends with the school librarian and that's how he finds out that the school librarian used to know ushijima's dad

wouldn't that be crazy tho????? i'm thinking it was either the same librarian that utsui had or it was a close friend of utsui's who became the school librarian after they graduated and stuff. i'm kind of leaning towards the second one bc i feel like that makes more sense

i just. can you imagine how alone ushijima had to feel. can you imagine how suffocating it had to be. like there's plenty of reason to assume that his mom's side (and perhaps the mom herself) ended up disliking utsui and i wouldn't be surprised if they tried to scrub him out of ushijima's life

new idea guys utsui comes back and gets with the shiratorizawa librarian

i'm KIDDING

(mostly)

honestly i just think this scenario would really show off how much shirabu and ushijima mean to each other because i think that gets underestimated a lot

they trust each other!!! they respect each other!!!! they understand each other!!! ushijima who knows that he is to be used for his pure raw strength and that that's all shirabu wants to do for him and shirabu who wants to bring out the best in ushijima and thinks of himself as someone who serves ushijima!!!!! shirabu and ushijima who both think they're being used by the other but they don't care because that works best for them!!!! it's their way of showing respect!!! by handing the reigns over!!!!

okay that's a really serious oversimplification of what i'm actually thinking but i got like five hours of sleep and i'm running on two mugs of some strong ass lotus green tea i trust you guys y'all get what i mean

like idk i think ushijima wouldn't really know what to do with shirabu when they first meet in their second and first years. quiet upperclassman who is occasionally a jerk but mostly does not mean to be and his equally quiet underclassman who IS a jerk and DOES mean to be. they'd be so fucking funny together. they back each other up in ways they don't even realize. they could leave entire crowds in tears on accident

actually . . . the poor third years back then who had to deal with this first year they thought was quiet and composed and unassuming and totally chill. but was, in fact, completely unchill

shirabu's gone to bat for every single member of the team at some point btw. soekawa ushijima reon yamagata semi tendou etc etc. none of them have ever witnessed it though word just gets passed around to them like shirabu is some honor-defending ninja who only works in the shadows

and then it really surprises shirabu when they come to bat for HIM

i mean i just. i think shirabu is really used to being independent. is used to doing things by himself. he's not used to other people sticking up for him or other people trying to guide him (which could be another reason why he clashes with semi). it's not that he thinks he's perfect but like. he's never had people who wanted to do that for him before!!

but now he's got goshiki who WANTS compliments from him and he's got kawanishi who loves him for whatever reason and he's got the upperclassmen who ruffle his hair and swing an arm around his shoulders and tell him ot text when he needs help and he's just like ???? like a system error.

give it up for shirabu kenjirou everyone i love him

[dusty-siltstrider]

Alright I'm gonna ruffle some feathers I think but idk I gotta say something.

For this moment and this moment only I'm going to set aside the rabid Viktor fan that I am and speak as a slightly less rabid Vi fan. She's a very close second and I relate to her the most out of the cast. Love her. So on and so forth. At this point the marketing is frustrating me less as a Viktor fan and more as a Vi fan.

When the Annecy people talked about a goth Vi fighting in the pits piss-drunk mad seeing crazy things I was ECSTATIC. Like holy shit that's such a major turn in her personality! Really fills out that whole "what does Vi do when she has no one left to protect" thing! Wow! Not to mention she's gonna be hot but that's a given. What a shocking thing to see when November comes around aaaand there she is in the trailer okay. Along with what is presumably her act 3 timeskip design judging by the longer hair. Element of surprise gone. Cool.

So where the Viktor part of me gets to waste hours yapping about where he's gonna be in season 2, what his arc will be, what he's gonna look like, what's gonna cause divorce era... feel like we're running out of room for speculation for the main 3. Room for imagination, if you will.

Like WE'VE BEEN KNEW ABOUT PIT FIGHTER VI. This isn't a surprise sneak peek anymore, everyone's either seen her in the trailer or at least heard about the Annecy stuff. Personally I no longer have the same level of insane jittery excitement to see how that arc goes in s2 anymore. Her new design is no longer a surprise and they're going to show even more tomorrow lol. I have little room to ponder "huh wonder what VI's gonna be up to." Pit fighter arc gets started and instead of my jaw dropping going "oh my god Vi honey you really are broken aren't you noooo" it's just... yeah that thing I saw during a Netflix event. Damn. Looks cool still but it's not a shock.

This massive point in both the plot and Vi's arc has become a marketing hype machine. Which dampens, you know, the whole "telling a story" thing.

What do I have to speculate about? Cait's whole iron-fist arc is fairly obvious via marketing, Vi's three-act structure has been pretty clearly laid out, they even spoiled Noxus/Ambessa turning on Piltover. Yeah, think we saw it coming, sure, but I kind of like being able to speculate on stories I enjoy. At least Jinx's revolutionary thing is pretty up in the air (which I still believe is a misdirect but I digress).

Please don't get me wrong, I really like her design and I'm still very excited to see where it goes! Obviously there's still plenty of details in between to fill out and yes I'm being slightly dramatic and yes my salt towards yet again no Viktor may be contributing to this frustration and YES pit fighter Vi is sick and the clip will be cool as fuck no matter what. But I'm honestly a little surprised everyone's so thrilled about this. I'm (likely) not watching it solely to preserve at least some element of surprise because I'm so excited for Vi next season and it sucks that they're just giving this all out in marketing.

Assuming this is the Annecy clip, that's just kinda lazy to reuse btw. But whatever this is lengthy and poorly worded enough.

Anyway bringing back the Viktor fan that I am yes I'm bitter yes I miss him yes I will not stop insisting that throwing in a few voice lines is not only perfectly reasonable as a teaser but would be more effective marketing wise than burning out the Cait/Vi/Jinx stuff bc deadass what else can they show us at this point okay thank you goodnight

[mazzystar24]

Thank you so much for being so kind and replying to my ask! I think I understand it a little better now and I do agree with some of it. There were really sweet moments between them that made me happy but OH how it hurt to see buck just standing outside the restaurant. Yeah he freaked out a little but even lou said it wasn't ok of tommy and he wouldn't have done that. His defenders should really look into that lol judging from his interviews, he is a buddie endgame shipper and I love that

I'm kinda used to people blaming everything on buck but it still sucks. If he "shoved tommy back in the closet", they also have to acknowledge the comment tommy made when eddie was there...thank goodness he was so oblivious

But I do blame the writers a little bit for making tommy seem so...distant? Mysterious? There's potential because he has a connection to their world but we don't know nearly enough about him. We know chim, hen and bobby were good with him when he left all those years ago but now? Show us!!

Most of all, I hope they are not "done" with buck's storyline because he deserves more. He was barely a side character for the remaining episodes and that made me really sad. Oliver looks happier again though, so maybe there's hope?

No problem ofc like as long as you’re respectful to me I’ll always give that back

UGHH YESSS ABT THE COMMENT AT THE DATE LIKE IF TOMMY WAS IN FACT OUT AND BUCK WAS PUSHING HIM IN THE CLOSET AS THEY CLAIM THEN TOMMYS LINE WOULD IN FACT BE OUTING HIM

Like personally I do take it as dig meant for buck only to understand - which brings its own fucking rage to me ngl but these toxic fans’ interpretation is somehow even worse for their fav

Me personally sorry but I’m kinda like just get rid of tommy atp and you know that but I totally get how you feel and would be disappointed in your place too

Also I totally agree and definitely hope that they really delve into and develop Buck’s bi arc further

I think they honestly kinda fumbled last season because of the shorter season and how much shit they tried to fit like I was saying this before but s8 should’ve been treated like s1/s2 where like you have some character building and like personal shit and then keep the rest fairly uncomplicated with like a few big things here and there and a strong sense of found family in it and hitting that balance of not overloading yourself while also keeping things interesting

Instead we kinda had boom big thing boom big thing boom here is an even more complicated big thing boom another big thing and it all felt very frazzled and all over the place and also really fragmented

And cos of all these big things you end up not able to give any one big thing the levity or development or the depth it can have

Leading to a mess of having buck pushed straight to the sidelines story wise after two eps of his bi arc then bobby having shit from Minnesota but also cartel and also house getting burnt down but also him being suicidal but also him nearly dying and us getting no scenes from the team at his bedside and then you have Eddie and his doppelgänger mess and chimney and his enciphillitus and it’s just all gives you a little bit of an overload without ever getting the pay off or the development

Like I love the show and love the writing for the most part but I gotta say s8 had a strong start that I thought it’d battle for my fav season but then it just started slipping when you could feel how limited in eps they were and also the writing style of not planning ahead for a lot of things

Idk if I explained any of that clearly 😭😭

[cambrioleur]

Random observations on this season (updating)

(SPOILERS, OBVIOUSLY)

Episode 1

I don't think we've ever seen Assane do a genuine fourth-wall break before

OK so Claire has a last name now

Assane really expected that he could just show up and Claire would just fall at his feet

I'm surprised Benjamin is just allowed to continue working at his shop

This feels better-edited than Parts 1 & 2

Name a more iconic duo than Belkacem and failing constantly (she really doesn't listen, does she)

Episode 2

Philippe Courbet sighting

NEVER invite Guédira to a funeral lmaooo

Hang on I'm just now realizing that Juliette is at this funeral, too (she's standing in the second row behind Benjamin and Claire and honestly doesn't seem too upset about Assane's "death")

I like how in the flashback Babakar tells Assane that he reminds him of his mother and then it turns out she was a criminal

This seems to be around the time of Raoul's birthday again; he really can't catch a break on that

Episode 3

New shipping war just dropped: Guédira/Belkacem vs Guédira/Fleur

That bit where Claire was outright begging Benjamin to tell her Assane was alive and he couldn't...that was sad

But then it was followed by Benjamin doing the "uhh my FRIEND just died" act with Belkacem which was funny

This gang of thugs is trying a little too hard tbh

Assane's disguise in this episode is fucking terrible lol

The basketball coach disguise, on the other hand, is the only time I've genuinely thought he wasn't recognizable

Episode 4

Ironically that coach persona is probably the best parenting Assane has ever done

Claire? Doing things that are vaguely cool?? That feels illegal. Also, she looked so proud of herself for swiping that book, lol

Betraying Benjamin was certainly...a choice on Assane's part ("everyone disliked that")

This episode is going to devastate the show's Tumblr fandom

Episode 5

Assane trolling the shit out of Guédira will never not be funny

These 1998 flashbacks are pretty dark actually

Honestly the way Claire got that reveal out of Benjamin was very well-played on her part

Guédira out here looking like present-day Ringo Starr with that disguise

Aww look at Assane playing the matchmaker for Guédira and Belkacem, heh heh

This is easily one of the funniest episodes

Except Benjamin is straight up not having a good time -- it looks like he got beaten up in prison

Episode 6

Actually, now that I'm thinking about it, I'm not totally sure Benjamin knows that Assane betrayed him. It's possible he just thinks that he fucked up with the bracelet and then missed a cue in the maze

"Pasta with ketchup" jesus fucking christ Claire that sounds horrendous (although I'm guessing the only reason they did that was because of the ketchup-bottle reveal)

Assane really has Claire's number because he's now seduced her twice under two different identities

IDK whether or not Raoul has figured out that the coach is his dad but it's funny that he still seemed to be shipping it either way

It's nice that we get to see Claire's more playful side in this season, like her messing with Assane by acting really flirty with "Alex" after she realizes they're the same person

INCREDIBLE casting for the younger and older versions of Keller tbh; they easily look like they could be the same person

Episode 7

What a nice family reunion...it would be a shame if something happened to it...

The flashbacks are significantly darker than the present timeline this time around

Guédira finally got to arrest Assane, good for him!

The scene at the train station with the letter from Assane to Claire sort of reminds me of the ending to A Tale of Two Cities, which I had to read for AP prep a while back

Oh look, Hubert Pellegrini is back

So they're CLEARLY setting up another season with this ending

The choice of people to show on the montage there was interesting, lol

I could see a Juliette antagonist arc happening tbh

Maybe Assane's mom isn't all she seems either

And what about Benjamin? If he turns against Assane the viewers are going to lose their minds

[bleeding-hart]

trans zukka ramble

watched more avatar with my best friend and also started SU (expect me ranting abt how much I love that show sometime, my favorite characters are peri (for the feral autistic aroace rep) and ruby (for the unhinged adhd hopeless romantic rep) both of which represent me deeply) BUT that isn't what this post is about I'm talking abt zukka today!

Okay so. Transmasc zukka. Hear me out. We already know that zuko is transmasculine right? He's got the tboy emo energy, the shitty first haircut and then shaves it and it grows out cute and fluffy, and he just has the right vibes. Plus his dad sucks and his clearly transmasculine uncle (iroh IS an elder trans man fight me) is very protective of him. His journey of self acceptance and growth just seems very gender-y to me, like he has to evolve past what his father has taught him about himself and the world and accept his true nature (in the show his true nature is good rather than evil, but that translates decently well). He's also. Literally just autistic. I don't need to explain this, he's autistic the way peridot is, like it's so fucking obvious that it's hard to believe it could have been unintentional (I straight up do not buy that peridot wasn't intended to be autistic, with zuko I can maybe let it slide but I don't want to).

Now for the part that I'm excited about!! So we know that Sokka has his misogyny arc, which a lot of people would assume rules out trans sokka pretty entirely unless you want to change that, but I honestly think it makes a lot of sense. He always wanted to emulate his father and the warriors in his tribe, and his only reference for masculinity was that type of warrior energy, so he assumes the two are inextricably linked- you have to be a man to be a warrior and a warrior to be a man. This is also why he's obsessed with protecting his family and being 'the man of the village' basically. He thinks that that's what makes him masculine. His desperation to prove his masculinity to himself and others is what ends up driving him down the path of Being An Asshole To Women, and suki's arc with him is still about how femininity can be strong and powerful, and how feminity and masculinity can coexist, and nothing 'makes' him a man except for him being one. Idk I like it a lot

[sapphic-agent]

It actually makes me a bit sad to see how Charlie is treated both in the show and by some of the fandom.

She literally has all the pieces to be an endearing and compelling protagonist. But the execution just kind of... messed her up in the process.

I remember reading a post explain how throughout the show she flips flops to being self aware of how Hell is and still trying to find the good in those willing to change, and to someone completely oblivious to the world around her and coming off as stupid in the process. And even going as far to say she's the worst girlfriend when it comes to Chaggie.

Now, I'm not saying Charlie is COMPLETELY faultless as I feel she could've been more aware of how Vaggie feels such as her hesitance to visit Heaven. But I cut Charlie some slack as it seems more like a writing problem than an actually character flaw.

She kind of got sidelined in her own show and I really hope they focus on her more in Season 2 and have her be more involved.

I'm actually really glad you brought this up because I was debating on whether or not to bring it up to you. Great minds think alike😉

I saw a similar post, but it went on and on about how pilot Charlie was better. But in my honest opinion, she really wasn't. Charlie in the show has a lot more spark and isn't afraid to stand up to people. She literally told the High Seraphim of Heaven that she was being unfair and accused her of being uncaring. She was VERY close to ripping Valentino limb from limb. And who could forget the, "Fuck you, you old bitch!" Show Charlie, to me, is a lot more definitive and dynamic.

This post also talked about how Show Charlie is inconsistent in being manipulated by Alastor. And I-?? No. Not at all. Charlie is well aware that Alastor has ulterior motives, how could she not be? However, part of her beliefs and goals of the show is that she believes that there's good in everyone. If Alastor shows the slightest bit of good will, she's going to be receptive towards it because she believes that someone like Alastor has the capacity for good. But that does NOT equate to her not knowing how manipulative he is.

The OP of this post used Dad Beat Dad as the prime example for this. But honestly? When Alastor is feuding with Lucifer, he's not making up bullshit. He lists the things he HAS done for the hotel, while Lucifer is listing the things he COULD do, which is why Charlie is more receptive to Alastor. Yes, Alastor wanted to get under Lucifer's skin, but I think what that OP missed is that Alastor takes pride in the hotel. Not because he believes in Charlie's dream, but because it's something he chose to do. It's something attached to his name. That's why he kicked Mimzy out, even though she was someone he cares for. And Charlie understands that, which is why she defends him to Lucifer.

I got off track, but I really wanted to explain that no, that wasn't something the show was being inconsistent with. It's actually a part of her I thought was written very well.

Now, is Charlie perfectly characterized? No. Like you said, there are a lot of things that could have been done better. I actually think this is a problem with women Viv writes in general. Whereas the men she writes have layers and complexity, her women are way more... one dimensional? Like she takes one aspect of their characters and runs with it. Like, compare Vaggie to Angel. Compare Nifty to Husk. There's a clear difference in how their characters are handled and approached.

(I can't speak to Helluva Boss, but from what I've heard it has some of the same problems)

But also, I wish people would stop expecting characters- especially protagonists- to develop in one season. ESPECIALLY FOR A SEASON WITH 8 EPISODES. Hello?? This season was Charlie stepping up and learning how to be influential and inspiring to those around her, which she's struggled with since the pilot. This season was her learning how to be a leader, and that's what she did. Her character arc isn't done yet, so idk why people expected this big transformation. Enough of her character was focused on so that it can be expanded and improved upon in season 2.

I personally think her relationship with Lilith is the key here. She's a lot like Lucifer in personality currently, I'd like to see how much Lilith truly influenced her

[swallowtailed]

palisade 52 / finalisade pt. 7

THEY SAID IT

"I think if Valence saw me now, part of them would be proud of me. And I'm happy enough with that" what if i just cried forever

like, it's such a resigned sentence. they're not sure valence would approve of how they've reshaped their entire life in their honor. but it still feels like such a victory.

also, like, fucking obviously valence would be proud. ofc brnine does not know that. but c'mon.

three years and seven months, by the way, since pzn 38, which i believe is the last time ali said "valence" in character as broun or brnine.

and to say this to jesset to convince him not to throw his life away for his ideals--not to sacrifice himself to take out one of a thousand antagonists--brnine saved jesset from valence's death. god. fuck

and then jesset replying, "it's this. it's tears forever. you don't get to win. you just have to keep trying, and losing people." and "it's a vow to fail." season about grief. this is the flip side of the blue channel making it through the stellar combustor arc because they're willing to barter with their own mortality. it's an awful way to survive. but you have to.

i mean, there's no real way to answer "how do you keep living when death is inevitable". that's one of the big ones. but also thinking back to... idk, maybe the violet cove arc?? not entirely sure but i remember glossing an early arc as "how do you continue in the face of opposition" (this was back when the faction game kept doing massive smackdowns). getting increasingly abstract but it's the same question basically. and it's a good act 2 question! it is perhaps the only act 2 question! so, anyway. enjoying this.

think jesset needs to talk to perennial honestly. compare notes on how it all repeats and how to find hope knowing that. especially with future having shown him (reflected to him?) the world he's dreading. (fucked up, btw. fucked up!!!) (also, "i've seen the future, and no one is going to be sad about me" immediately reminded me of "i have seen the stars and they will not save us".)

hearing motion speak again after jesset left the exoskeleton and realizing that he'd been speaking with her voice was spine-chilling, great voice acting on austin's part

the hug..... the forehead kiss.......... they're just two bros

really pleased that levi was part of the scene, given how he mirrors jesset. i'm actually very excited to see where he goes in p3

other episode notes

glad we got some explicit discussion of where clem's actually going in this story. i still think her storyline is played out but i would accept her merging fully with the iconoclasts and floating around in space forever.

cas'alear's pitch is an interesting bit of setup. it does feel like we're kind of just waiting to be told what the big shift into p3 is gonna be, which takes some of the steam out of the palisade finale.

congrats to leap on winning

thisbe struggling with the weight of free will... i love her

august dreaming about a reunion with wakeful is so upsetting and good

maidstone cross feels like a character from an entirely separate season lmfao. it has been so long

are there... only two episodes left of palisade????????

[whosthere54]

Prison duo playlist analysis Day 2 - Against the kitchen floor by Will Wood

Oooh this song. It’s coded for reasons- and I’m going to get into them. I’m doing a sort of a line by line because I’m a loser about this song and PrisonDuo.

I’d say this is just an Icarus perspective of their relationship.

(Also- Most of the songs on this playlist are /r coded including this one- if you’re not here for the /r prison duo agenda (which idk how you could exist at this point but honestly I’ve been in enough fandoms to know better-) you probably won’t like this playlist nor my blog/lh 🥰)

Back to the song-

The line that made me really go yeah- that’s very coded- is the “I swear, I’m so fucking sorry. I’m not a good person, I’m barely a person at all- but someday all be perfect, and I’ll make up for it all” version of the chorus. I just- mm. It’s so Icarus coded in my opinion.

“I don’t owe you my heart, and I don’t owe you my body. But you should know that I’m sorry, for being careless with you. Lord knows I owe you more than I’m pretty sure I could give anybody”

Y’know- the first thing I think of is the amount of times they apologized for the prison, and then Centross continuously forgiving and reassuring them about it. Reassuring them that they don’t owe him an apology- that they don’t owe him anything really. If I’m making it solely focused on their relationship I feel as though that carried over as not just specifically about the prison.

“So, I could hold your hand but keep you at arms length. Or hang me from a branch too high to climb and shake. Less rare than scare, less diamond than rough, unlikely to be more than just a coal you fail to crush”

Mmm. Two things- the idea of isolation and how that would relate to them being in a relationship, and moreso the idea of this is what I am- and I’m trying to be more but it’s not working and this is all I can be- can you love me anyway? That the whole song has throughout. Which- it’s very Icarus coded in my opinion. Their whole arc being of “I’m trying to be better but I can’t and if you can’t love me like that then I don’t need to be around you and I don’t need to keep trying to get you to do so” and the “Fable loves me like this so why try to be anything else if one person I care about actually shows they love me in the way that I need to be shown love”

I could talk about this in particular- a lot- but I’m leaving it at that.

“Get together Will, know and do better. It just doesn’t come natural to me to think that you’d want me for me.”

Putting on a show, wearing a mask- making up a personality or alternatively- doing something for someone to make someone like you. Oh Icarus Morningstar and your potions- you little alchemist loser.

“I swear I’m really trying. Oh I’m sorry, I promise I’m doing my best. I just haven’t learned how to be human as you are yet.”

That’s a line for sure. I just haven’t learned how to be human as you are yet is such a banger lyric man.

I think of how Centross was on a road to healing- he had his partners, and was building and was doing breakfast and ahhhh. I cry about that but also Icarus was decidedly not- Icarus was still dealing with ‘quixis’, Icarus was dealing with the whack hurting people- Icarus was barely healed from their wings changing and shattering. Icarus *just got their dad back* icarus is still dealing with the fact that the whack caused the reset and switched fable out for Haley- oh icarus and Haley in this season-

Basically- Icarus is having a time in s3 that’s for sure. They haven’t learned how to exist remotely normally in the way that others in the grove have. They haven’t had the chance to move on- more and more happening to them that just throws everything off that they’re trying to do. They haven’t learned how to heal the same way Centross had been on the road to doing yet.

“I still don’t know who you are, all I know is I’m still lonely.”

Oh Icarus and loneliness. Also Icarus and not knowing Centross fully. They know him better than others, yeah, but they don’t know him in the way they both want to- the way they were *getting* to before he went and *died*- yet. They understand eachother more than anyone else- they experienced so much together through the resets in a way that technically had them in some of their most vulnerable moments with eachother but they- moreso Icarus- never got to fully move past that. They didn’t get to have that peaceful time of hanging out just to hang out. Centross comes to see them when he heard they were hurt- or when he knows they need to get out of their house but they haven’t pulled him to hang out first yet. They didn’t reach the point of starting to seek him out yet- that point of you could say vulnerability and coming out willingly of that isolation to say “hey- I don’t want to be alone and I want to see u. Wanna hang out?” That they need to reach. (The only time they came close was in looping the beginning where they sat on the ice. But that was reaching to him so they could offer comfort and conversation- and I think those are two different things. Also- place of rebirth if I remember correctly started with them messaging him first but I don’t know if I’m remembering right so let’s just stick with looping the beginning)

“That morbid sort that company can’t cure and the more you reassure the less I trust…”

Hahah. Icarus Morningstar and not believing when people are affectionate to you. Not taking the kindness and reassurance at face value and trying to find a deeper reason for it happening and seeing it as pity that only leads to more isolation.

“But you gave me your heart! I only gave you my body. Honestly thought no one would want it, let alone know it’s gone”

Mm. Centross still trusting them- giving them forgiveness and reassurance and over and over again showing that trust in them because they need it. Actively choosing to hang out with them- to be around them when there are other options of people to be around at the moment. Just- *choosing them* time and time again. Him giving Icarus his trust and love. They haven’t gotten to that level of trust yet- not continuously- not over and over yet. They’ve had moments showing that trust, yes, in Place of Rebirth when drinking with him especially, as well as Avian’s Solace where they let him give them a tattoo- a permanent reminder- and their conversation in front of the wall. Both times ending with him staying the night with them- at-least staying until they fall asleep. But- that’s all I can give them in that department. They just reached that point- and then everything went to shit :)

(Also consequences with the cleaning but that was just them catching up with eachother moreso- even if it’s so ahhh Icarus opening up about an injury and talking about how their feeling? In this economy??/lh But fr- they have dealt with things like that themself until that point and opening up about that is a big step for them. And he knows that.)

“Honestly thought no one would want it, let alone know it’s gone” this makes me feel- feelings. I don’t know what in particular this feels like with Icarus- maybe is simply him knowing they need something, knowing they need to get out of the house, to socialize, to talk, to exist with another person. Just- seeing them and noticing and understanding. “Let alone know it’s gone” let alone know their not taking care of themself- know they’re struggling and need someone else even though he also knows they’d *never* ask for help themself. I’m not sure- that doesn’t feel quite right but it’s all I can think of at the moment.

“I’ve lived more lives than enough, I haven’t died quite as much, but I’m not a real person just the shit you can’t make up”

Now tell me that isn’t just Icarus??? It’s just them- even if you ignore the whole whack part- the resets. Each reset being caused because of one of their deaths. “I’m not a real person just the shit you can’t make up” now I say this is whack and stuff involved- just. They’re not fully themself- y’know?

“Did I really have any of that gravity maybe your quicksand because I really couldn’t tell how deep my footprints went.“

Did I really have that effect on you? Did I really make you love me for me and not for what I’m doing for you? Also- You sucked me in I didn’t realize how close I was to you until just now and I don’t want to ruin what we have.

They don’t know how much other people cared, I think. That’s how I perceive the line of “I really couldn’t tell how deep my footprints went” or something like that.

“I’m catatonic in your arms, crying ‘How did I cause so much harm’”

Oh. Mhm. Yeah. Yep. Oh Icarus and wanting to fix everything they’ve done wrong.

“I’m pounding my head against the kitchen floor, apologizing for my life and ever entering yours.”

:( feelings

“Don’t say ‘I’m sorry but this can’t go on’ I know you’ve got scars of your own but hide my knives before you go I’ll either live or die alone.”

again- wow I feel this is coded.

Please if you’re leaving and I know you will just help the threatening/bad thoughts go away- because if you don’t I won’t be able to live like this anymore. I can’t exist like this without your help- without you to keep me from drowning.

He’s helping keep them “sane”- he was their anchor I think so when he died they go off the rails.

“I’ll either live or die alone” is self explanatory I think. Icarus and isolation again. Maybe I can bring up again the thought of Icarus knowing after everything they do before the finale is fixed they won’t be able to talk to everyone or interact like they did before. I think they know the consequences of their actions- their walking headfirst into it because if they fix this for them they’ll all be so much happier even with that knowing that nobody would want to be around them after what they did no matter if they fixed it or not.

“I swear, I will die trying. I’m still in the process but I’m making progress. I promise, I honestly want to prove improvement is possible”

They want so badly to do better. They do. And they made so so much improvement before Fable messed it up.

“I swear, I’m so fucking sorry. I’m not a good person I’m barely a person at all but one day I’ll be perfect and I’ll make up for it all.”

Woah- their character arc! It’s right there! Their motives!

Self explanatory- “I’m not a good person but I’m going to fix it and it will all be okay when I do” mentality.

Thank you for coming to my ted talk.

So yeah- that’s me yelling about Icarus Morningstar. Hope you enjoyed I guess? Feel free to add your opinions about this song and stuff I’d love to see that /nf

The image chosen from my prison duo Pinterest board today is-

My beloveds. Ahhh. Me when. Maybe I have a fic about this with them because mmmm. They need that- I think.

So- I hope you enjoy my incoherent ramblings. That’s what my blog is about isn’t it? /lh

You are so loved! Go take any meds you need to and eat and drink water if you haven’t yet! I hope you have a lovely rest of your scrolling through tumblr /lh <3

[sssammich]

4?

lol oh ho ho ho i see what you're doing

ask meme

4. Share a dark thought? (Go on, vent a little)

IM GONNA VENT (this is behind oh well i had to get my feelings bubbling up)

honestly i hate canon or bust. it literally kills the joy and sucks the fun out of fandom. and even the source material itself. maybe it's just me being older and having been in fandom for literal decades, but like this crusade for Canon or Nothing At All is just so fucking bad and is just overall detrimental to engaging with the source material, with fanworks, and even just each other!!!

about to just drop everything under the cut because it's long and incoherent

like, okay. yes, do i want representation? sure. do i want stories written for queer characters deserving of story arcs equal or better than what the straights typically get? yeah of course im not a monster. but like, people don't even know how to handle the representation they do get. and then have the gall to ask for perfection when it does show up. that's the burden to bear of being the Chosen Ones is that the weight of expectations is heavier than, like, side character three. so i get it. i get all of that. i want the good things also. i want the ladies kissing ladies on television etc etc

but that's not what im talking about. im talking about the people who literally will just sour the well with their desire that if their Ship isn't canon then it's time to ruin the playground because if i'm not having fun no one can be having fun. and that's literally so terrible and bad and also makes everyone not like being there any more. you shat on their sandbox, you burned down the monkeybars. like, it's not fun there anymore. but the problem there (other than it's annoying and destructive), is that it just further puts fanworks under the agenda of Pushing for Canon Truth instead of, like, a fun thing to share and do with your community.

another caveat here: OF COURSE fandoms have been doing both of those things this whole time, but it just always feels like when i see a push for "make X canon" (X being a ship, 99% of the time), it almost doesn't care about just enjoying yourself??? making a ship canon can be and is important in the larger landscape of media, culture, and representation. yes yes, i'm with you. but i think especially in fandom spaces if canon is not there, then what else is left? is such a bad take.

the rare pairs are there. the multiships. but not even just ships, but dynamics between characters. there are probably other strong contenders for the piece of media that irrevocably changed the landscape of fan/media relations, but since i *was* in the glee fandom, i'm gonna blame that one. i think the nature of how glee essentially opened access to the actors, to the producers, to the showrunners that had direct impact on the source material's canon kinda set up the groundwork for how the rest of media would evolve for the next decade. the ship wars and the ship polls were kinda insane back then. idk if it's still insane now because i've retired from my 'fandom city apartment' to my 'fandom small coastal town bungalo' and just minding my business. all that to say that even as a shipper, 90% of fandom conversations when it comes to Canon is literally just the pursuit of making their two white men (or women) kiss.

which means that we lose out on actual conversations and discussions around character development, dynamics with others as foils or as antagonists, and the larger implication in the plot of the whole thing.

i know the desire for canonifying two characters with insane chemistry and with storylines that lead to romance were they cast as one heterosexual male and one heterosexual female comes from the unfairness and frustration that if it's already right there, why not just fucking do it? listen we're all fighting an uphill battle for equality across the board, so any step forward is gonna be met with a step back, if not more. so like, i'm cognizant of this. so i get why. but when the entire persona that someone displays is just to push for wanting a ship to be Canon above all else, that's when it breaks down for me.

i doubt im making any sense at this point so im just gonna close this out by saying that yeah, i want similar things at the end of the day. i also want the two women with insane chemistry and whose storylines beat for beat match that of a heterosexual pairing had they been cast as such. but canon is not my business, i have nothing to do with that. because i don't make my fun at the doll shop where i bought my barbies. that's not the appropriate place for me to play. i make my fun in the sandbox where i stick the barbies' heads in the sand, as a treat.

[achaotichuman]

i was just re-reading your ACOTAR rant and it made me weep because it sums up all of my thoughts about the series and how tamlin continues to be disregarded and vilified for literally every single thing. i walked into the series already knowing rhys was endgame for feyre and that’s fine, but the minute i started ACOMAF i literally was like… what is happening here and why does everyone on instagram (i wasnt active on tumblr and mainly saw acotar stuff on instagram) hate tamlin so much. then i finished acomaf, acowar, and completed the series and i’m still so… confused?

all this to say, i’ve always been a tamlin girlie since the first book and i always will be. I’m genuinely scared abt what will happen in the next book whether tamlin will get redeemed (and he literally did redeem himself already in my opinion, esp. after acowar) in a horrible way or if he gets killed of. a part of me selfishly wants him to stay alive because thats my baby but also… idk how i feel about sjm’s plans if she does write a “redemption arc” for him.

Sorry for the rant lol, i just have a lot of thoughts (and love) for tam 🫶🏼

👏👏👏👏 PREACH! AMEN!

When I started Acotar I had already spoiled the entire series for myself. You could ask me any question about it, down to mfing details and I would’ve been able to answer correctly. Before ever even touching the book!

I think knowing whats gonna happen lets you honestly look deeper into the characters and relationships cause its no longer a surprise but an inevitable.

Makes it a lot easier to see how fucked up F*ysand really is. Tamlin didn’t deserve any of the villainisation he went through. Acomaf was completely out of a character. Which is another reason I think people go so quickly to Rhysand and refuse to see his red flags as well. Because Tamlin was shamed for having any sort of imperfection, the reader is shamed for ever having liked him and it is a really shitty feeling.

So people overturn it with becoming hardcore Rhysand stans.

Just a theory but it would explain this kind of cultish following his has that is targeting Tamlin.

Anyway never apologise for ranting thats what my blog is for!