#and let other people feel it too
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because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.
you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.
you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.
don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.
if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.
you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:
how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!
aren't you happy yet?
#almost wrote the champagne line as ''effervescent'' but legit could not write it without saying ''effervescent like a snail''#ah tumblr...#writeblr#warm up#idk . having trouble writing rn#ps i don't like to talk about it . it is my medical information. but before you ask. yes this is about being on the spectrum#i really don't like when ppl make my writing about how im [whatever ID]. i want it to ring true for the people who it rings true for#i don't want it to be like ''awwwww look at this person!!! she's the EXCEPTION!!! :)" .....#no.... not really.....#idk something gross happens whenever i admit to certain conditions and i turn into like inspiration p*rnography#like yes they actually let us use keyboards these days#furthermore i just... dont feel comfortable talking about this part of me. i had too bad of a childhood. adhd is one thing...#this one im like. still coming to terms with. which is like. my own journey.#idk. just please be kind. some things are more private than others. this one feels private to me.#i do not know how to help others w/this . and i do not know how to help myself. i will talk about it if im ever ready. idk if that will#actually ever happen#ty in advance i love u im kissing you we are kissing somewhere on the spectrum
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Keep seeing the old "oh look at me, I've seen the northern lights" meme (on other social media admittedly, not here, here's pretty well adjusted (didya think I'd ever be saying that?)) and can't help but wonder why people just can't be happy that other people are getting joy out of something...?
#its not hard right#even if youre not arsed let people be#its not bad to be into something#even if loads of people also are#let yourself feel joy and wonder#and let other people feel it too#when is that beaten out of us and why do we let it#also ive seen the northern lights and they were fucking awesome so#helping my less outdoors friends who didnt see them last night see them tonight if theyre around#because its NICE to spread JOY and WONDER#if you try and let yourself be happy its much easier to be happy for other people#just chill out#maybe its coz i overshare everything so everyone has no choice but to feel my joy lmao#i can use a compass from the pirate game and now im like LOOK NORTHWEST and no one knows what the fuck im on about#trying to explain via constellations#“look for the plough” “what the fuck is that” soz
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SNOW BOTS ARE BACK BABE, IF IT WILL BE LIKE THAT EVERY YEAR I MIGHT DIE ONE DAY OF HAPPINESS WHEEEZE (I mean, drawing them like that is so much faster, plus colors, plus snow, plus they all are alive, COME ON IT'S A DREAM) Go smooch @keferon and everyone who makes "everyone is happy" content wheeeeeze
#snow bots au#transformers#maccadam#OF COURSE I GOT MY BOIS BACK#They have a car they ride separately and they like to show the car off#Perceptor#Brainstorm#Hook#Scavenger#and others from their “family” but they are not seen or it is my hand begging me to stop it hasn't recovered fully yet bruh#I bet Minimus and Megatron are already inside sipping tea and watching them going inside the building#I already wonder if since it is the second year like this#Maybe Optimus also somehow found this place to relax after many years and just sees them all#And Megatron#I want them to recover here too ngghhh#I also was thinking of scavengers and Grimlock but ahah I have a feeling they hang out in a bit different places where less people#ALSO EHEGHEGEHEEH it's so cool to think of every group arriving together or separately in different days#I have a feeling that Tailgate Cyclonus and Whirl will arrive pretty late. Alway forgetting something and coming back because of it until#they just “OH just leave it be let's go already”#Group of docs arriving almost as the first ones#Okay I better run I didn't even have breakfast just jumped on it the moment saw it coming back
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the crows would have absolutely loved monopoly
#i feel so sad they never got to play#au where all they do. every day. is play monopoly#thats the heist thats the plot#them enjoying and bickering#all six of them#cuz all six are happy and alive#(im ignoring kiwi sorry guys)#kaz would get waaaaaay too into it#wylan would be incredible#he memorises the property names based off the colours#nina doesnt even care about winning she just buys the properties that kaz goes for#they never let jesper be banker even though he begs to be every time#the only person who can be banker is matthias#inej secretly moves her piece extra steps during other people's turns and only kaz realises#but he doesn't say anything even though he wants to win#the winner is almost always either kaz or wylan#inej comes close a few times#jesper has never once won but still claims he's best#nina tries to seduce matthias into giving her more money#it (almost) never works#soc#six of crows#ck#crooked kingdom#kaz#inej#kaz brekker#kanej#matthias helvar#jesper
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G'day, I hope you are doing well.
Ever since I finished the story of Dungeon Meshi (all supplementary material included) I've been writing down bullet points on characters in addition to in-depth synopses as a way to tidy up my rather busy mind. To this end I've also greatly enjoyed reading other folks' interpretations of particular characters, as it gives me further insight into aspects of that character I may have glossed over.
However, there's one character I'm struggling to write a cohesive synopsis about, that being none other than 'miss enigma' herself, Falin Touden. I get that her whole shtick is that she's kind of a mystery, but I find myself drawing a lot of blanks when it comes to her as a character, and while I have nailed down some important bullet points, there are a lot of different interpretations on her, all of which starkly contrast one another. Though perhaps it's just the wording. Hard to say.
It could very well be that I'm being too dense i.e. perceiving "Falin is willing to risk killing others to save her friends." and "Falin, in the heat of the moment, when faced with certain death, was willing to face the prospect of harming potential passersby in a final Hail Mary to get her friends to safety." as entirely different observations. I have a hard time with those kinds of things.
With this being a hub for all sorts of observations, interpretations and cool trivia, I was wondering if you'd perhaps be willing to share how you yourself perceive Falin as a character, so I can compare notes and perhaps gain a more proper understanding of her as a character as a result. I know this question is very broad and kind of vague, but if you could spare the time I'd be most grateful.
Other than that, I wish you an excellent day.
Hello!!! I love Falin!!!!!
She *is* a mystery, we mostly know Falin through the perception other characters have of her instead of a direct deep look onto who she is, which I find very interesting. I think the best post I've seen about her (which as usual I can't remember where edit: someone linked it thank uu) I think called her perceived altruism/love "selfish" and I've been thinking about that ever since.
In that sense the way she cares so much about the comfort of people around her might be a way to keep *her own* comfort because she doesn't want to see other people suffer.
This girly died and came back to life from bones and the first thoughts she has is that she caused trouble for her loved ones
She probably has felt this way since she was a child, "because of her" that her family was torn apart "because of her" that Laios left, her mom was sick, her father had to send her away. (wasn't actually her fault but she might think it is)
I imagine ever since then Falin has done her best to not cause trouble and to make the people she loves happy, everything we know about her and the things she was doing was always for the people she loved, that's why I enjoy the post canon comic where Toshiro asks her hand in marriage again so much. The first time she considers accepting just because "might as well" while for the second time she finally wants to live for herself.
I think Falin herself has lost who she "really is" by trying to accommodate everyone around her and that's probably part of why we ourselves don't really know her, so much so that the most cynical character is uncomfortable around her (probably cause he notices Falin is "hiding" something)
I think Falin is quite the melancholic character to be honest, someone who has lost herself in self sacrifice and who is only now learning how to live for herself doing what she wants.
Both the teleportation scene and the bit about healing show "cracks" in the selfless front she puts out tbh. By context I don't think what she did was only due to "desperation of the moment" she says out loud "Even if I end up hurting others I want you and my brother to live on". She weighted out how much suffering she might cause and decided she wanted to save them anyway, and I'm sure in that calculation she knew that they would suffer because of her sacrifice too.
Falin is saving them for herself, I'm not great with words so this is all over the place and maybe sounds a little negative about Falin but the thing is, you cannot live your life for other people, you can't sacrifice yourself for other people's happiness, you shouldn't erase your own presence so others are happier and I think Falin is starting to learn that by the end.
I'd probably keep rambling without getting anywhere and missing a lot of more meaningful moments but I'll stop here, if anyone has recs for Falin analysis please share!
#Dungeon Meshi spoilers#I think the way Toshiro speaks about the moment he fell in love with Falin to be telling too#He had to see her in the dead of the night finally just doing her thing instead of putting on what others expect of her#to finally notice how wonderful she is#But Falin cannot reciprocate those feelings because as opposed to Laios#She is putting up a front to these other people so she can't engage with them in a meaningful manner#Nobody (besides Laios and Marcille) got past the wall Falin put up so they couldn't reach her#I think in the conversation she has with Toshiro in that extra she's finally letting him thru that wall#instead of avoiding it like she did before#she caused discomfort by saying what she really feels and that's okay#Anyway#dunmeshi thoughts#ask#Falin Touden
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girls who go 🧍
#(+ obligatory Fern Pout. i think it's the grumbly noise she makes that really sells it but i still had to draw it)#been thinking about this with melody for a while#& was inspired to throw fern in the mix when i saw her standing there like a telephone pole during her third exam#hunter x hunter#hxh#melody hxh#senritsu#sousou no frieren#fern frieren#(middle right is a manga panel redraw btw)#as much as i love dressing up melody in cute outfits & poses one thing i really love about her in canon is how a lot of the time#she's just kinda standing there in her signature potato sack dress#she wears dresses/feminine clothing but isn't really the “girly” type like bisky or palm#nor a Kickass Fight Girl™ but is still competent enough to participate in the plot#she values things like emotions music healing and protecting people without being “soft uwu Team Heart girl”#and not a mom/sister figure even with kacho or neon where she's in the position of protecting a younger girl#i know this word doesn't really mean anything but to my brain she's just *normal*#a depiction of femininity that i vibe with more than many others i guess#to some extent i feel that with fern too even if she's a bit more. well.#let's just say i spent two minutes in the fern tag and the amount of anime tiddies in there does not surprise me in the least
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when ur platonic bro is just helping u stretch while u platonically yap about ur MAGNUM DO-- detective skills.
#it was just for some anatomy practice tbh cuz legs are weird to me but then I was like lol what if it's a shit little gif#day 3593845 of idk how to draw kon nicely#and cassie bart my dears my only concept of u is memes so far I still am so new and haven't gotten around to young justice BUT I WILL#art#digital art#sketch#fanart#timkon#young justice#tim drake#tim drake wayne#kon el#kon el kent#conner kent#superboy#red robin#anyway if u don't know - when u are a flexible person sometimes it rly does help to get a bestie to push u around a bit when warming up#it IS very homoerotic with the right friends and all business with other friends but I prefer the friends who can't be ffr about it#I think tim would ask everyone and kon is like me pick me pick me let me help u bro bro ur muscles are so tight bro aha#but what do I know I'm just a new fan whose only concept is gay people on the internet telling me how they feel about the DCU#and I am a very busy person who doesn't have time to read comics and watch shows at a leisurely pace :')#give me time everyone I am gonna get so locked in#as much as an adult with no free time can#animation#there was an alternate ending where tim's leg goes all the way stand-split but I was too afraid to attempt drawing that#robins need to be flexible so they can do their silly goober thing
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A bit tired of people complaining about Sanji's principle of "not hitting women" being misogynistic when it has been clearly stated multiple times that he does not choose it and it's heavily tied to his trauma and admiration for his dad and respect for women and definitely not from seeing women as somehow weaker than him
#like okay i get where you're coming from and i understand that from a simpler perspective it's weird#if meet a guy irl who refuses to fight against women no matter how evil they are for no reason other than being women i'd consider it odd#but.... we have watched sanji's backstory and we have seen him actively feeling bad for not being able to hit female enemies#like what do you not understand#you can say the practice itself is based on misogynistic views too but the reasons why sanji doesn't hit women are more complex than that#a lot of people might disagree with me but like#i'm not saying the act itself is awesome and solemn and correct but you can't go and call sanji a misogynistic character just bc of that#like saying he views women as weaker than him is just. wrong. and i've seen people say it#and yes this behavior adds to his gentleman personality and it's also for the writing to show how polite and nice he is to women#but it's not exaggerated. he genuinely has issues viewing women as equals bc he romanticizes them#and that's bad! he knows that's bad!#let the character grow?????? i swear people can't read 😭#i'm not making any sense i just woke up but yeah#one piece#black leg sanji
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I think that the party's communication issues can be summed up as "man, is it awkward to tell someone that you want to spend the rest of your life with them if you've only know them for a few months? Probably."
#isat#isat spoilers#in stars and time#listen they will kill for each other but also its such a short time???? like??? thats part of the tragedy tbh#like!!! yeah theyll go back to their previous lives bc who in their right minds throw out everything they were doing before for people youv#only known for a few months and it turns out all of them do bc theyre insane for each other but!!!! like!!!! thats still a big ask!!!!!#yeah lets throw out everything we've ever know to be together lets fucking go and then they do in the end!!!! but!!!#thats because theyre all are ride or die to the extreme for each other!!!!!! far more than siffrin thinks anyone will ever be for him!!!!#anyway I have a lot of feelings about the party and just how bonkers (affectionate) they are#yeah no siffrin I too would not expect people to put aside their previous lives especially if its clear they have other plans#'yeah im gonna invite myself over to your house to live here lol' yeah no I would not assume that!!!!!!!#the issue is more that issue doesnt communicate what he really wants because if they do and his family says no then... being together truly#will end so he doesnt ask so they never will get a no so it never has to end (and has his reason to keep going)#this is turning into an essay in the tags but like. God its a wild set of circumstances so#tbh Siffrin not thinking the party wants to travel together is not wild to me neither is family not communicating#them wanting to be together ALL OF THEM wanting it is... unbelivable in these circumstances#but they do bc theyre all insane and ride or die but the extent of which is a mystery to all of them#anyway thats my essay in the tags#just read the no loops fic where the adults minus siffrin all offer to bring bonnie to bambouche and had FEELINGS about it#my posts
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Shockingly underrated thing about Leo is that he’s legitimately charming when he wants to be?
He’s the Faceman! He’s persuasive! That’s not just some random title he gave himself with no backing to it. People will listen to him. Even if they think he’s being annoying or if they’re upset at him, people listen to him anyway! There’s a reason his bros push him out front to talk to people, and when this happens, that talking nearly always works.
Moreover, Leo knows people. He looks at them and takes into account how they act and what they’re like as he makes his way through the conversations. It’s easy to forget this aspect of Leo’s character because he only brings it out when he really needs (read: wants) to, but it really is a notable part of him that always love to see.
And I say charm in particular because he has a knack for not only getting people to pay attention, but for getting people to stay and listen to what he has to say.
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt leo#rise leo#I feel like people equate Leo to a lot of loud gross boy behavior instead of looking at his actual accomplishments#which fair enough#he IS a loud gross boy a lot of the time#but his charisma really deserves a mention for how much it comes in clutch#that one cut animatic of the other people in the resistance wanting Leo to join them for karaoke like#and yes those inspiring speeches he gives his fam are also an example of charm#bro has! charisma! he can have his loser moments and at the same time show off how to manipulate through words#Leo knows people and if he really wants to he can talk them up#but yeah like - I see people calling him the face man a lot but not so much taking into account what that entails#he’s got a pretty face! and he’ll do the talking a lot! but that’s not all a face man is#another thing that is SHOCKINGLY underrated in fandom is Raph loving fighting???#I have no idea why but I feel like I don’t see this mentioned enough#he adores wrestling and roughhousing and training and just FIGHTING in general plz let my boy punch something#I have more I wanna say but it’ll have to wait until later it is very late haaa#anyway my main point behind this post is that Leo knows people and in turn knows what they WANT#it is this same perception that makes him REALLY GOOD at getting under people’s skin too#people skills and adaptability really make sense when you take into account the fact that he’s a red eared slider#it really is cool to see how much this part of Leo is addressed throughout the series#nearly always in very lowkey ways
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what I learned from season 2 of IWTV is that a distressingly large amount of people cannot tell the difference between a consensual BDSM dynamic and assault/abuse, nor do they know anything about how kink actually works
it’s not unhealthy for Armand to be submissive or delve into maître/slave kink dynamics. in fact it’s something people do to explore and get past their traumas all the time irl. additionally, he is like five times older and more powerful than Louis, he wasn’t being forced to do anything, nor could Louis ever actually force him. the kink was probably the healthiest aspect of their relationship, what fucked them over was a jumble of commitment issues, a lack of trust, and eventual murder - which is something that would cause problems in any relationship ever, no matter how vanilla.
the Point of the tragedy is that they were on the precipice of something happy, but Louis hesitated for too long and Armand couldn’t recognize when he was loved, and the kink had nothing to do with it, for fuck’s sake. Louis wasn’t abusive and it’s not bad or wrong for Armand to want to be a sub -
#IWTV#interview with the vampire#the vampire armand#louis de pointe du lac#it’s always so fucking infantilizing too?? the man is 500yo guys he can make his own decisions#oh noooo he couldn’t possibly know what he wants :(( he’s just reacting out of trauma it’s like brainwashing :(((#?????#no???#he just wants to relax for once fucking let him#he’s been in charge of his own survival AND other people for hundreds of years#being a coven leader seems to be a herding cats type of position tbh#let him rest#that’s what his submission is#loumand#like I don’t even really ship them but GODDAMN#they could have actually been alright together if the cards fell different#amc iwtv#amc interview with the vampire#iwtv season 2#if I see another post claiming that the only way for Armand to have a good life is to never be anyone’s sub again I’m gonna scream#also this weird framing of Louis as an abuser just kinda feels racist#I’m probably not the person to speak on that but there’s Something abt that demonization that just doesn’t sit right#like yeah he was a dick. but largely in his head?? he didn’t do or say anything to Armand out loud
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They should invent an America that doesn't suck
#us politics#us elections#election 2024#usa politics#politics#presidential election#somehow this got to 65 notes despite not having a single tag on it#so now I feel guilty that it's getting through people's election tag blocks and have since added tags#let me know if there's others that I should add too#america#usa news#usa
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The thing that gets me about history and humanity is that you never know what is immortalized, and the things that will be immortalized are things you would never think.
I saw a person sharing a new tattoo, and it was one of Onfim's drawings. A boy who lived so long ago he is barely a blip now, but his drawings meant so much to people that somebody is now permanently marked in their skin with one of those drawings. Do you ever look at the things you make and just sit there and wonder if this is the thing that future people look at? Do you ever look at your art, your writing, your schoolwork, or anything that is yours and just wonder who will find it, who will fall in love with a piece of your humanity and become overwhelmed with emotion over? It's not unlikely. It's not totally unlikely that somebody will find a piece of you in the distant future and devoid of any other context of who you were will still love you because you were here. You were here, and you are still here, even hundreds or thousands of years later. Treat yourself with the same love that so many have for dear Onfim.
#positivity#gentle reminders#if anybody has ancient children's drawings beside onfim let me know they melt my heart#i have always wanted a tattoo of that kind of thing too and i want ideas#see if archeologists dig me up or whomever else they won't find significant tattoos or other things. they will see i have loss.jpeg on me#and i think that's just as important. these people must know that people are silly and weird and don't make sense and that's IMPORTANT#i'm just. so obsessed with this because it's instantly humanizing#what little child hasn't drawn humans with twelve fingers per hand#or those kids drawings where it's only a torso/head conglomerate with stick legs and hands#i just really lived seeing how their tattoo turned out because i wasn't sure if it would look good in ink and skin#i feel the same way about archiving the internet. i was looking for the written crochet pattern for something#and the person who wrote and created it passed away and their blog has been scrubbed#their blog only exists on the archives. their pattern is only accessible on youtube because somebody made a video tutorial with the pattern#it's an eerie feeling. they've been gone for two years but their blog has been tethered by the wayback machine
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Since Minthara presents an exterior shell made of steel, and she's sometimes mean, and is an absolute badass in battle, she is often treated and perceived as someone who feels no emotions. And this often occurs to individuals who do put on such a tough exterior. It also does not help that many people perceive evil characters as incapable of doing or feeling anything other than evil. That love and evil are innately incompatible.
But Minthara is not emotionless, she does feel things. Sadness, grief, fear, loneliness, anger, anxiety, paranoia, vengeance, love. She can laugh, she can tell jokes, she can cry, she can smile, and she does get upset at things. If anything, she is emotionally repressed and emotionally guarded and the times where she does really express her more negative and vulnerable emotions is when it becomes too much to hold back and it comes out a little over the top. We have to remember she comes from a society in which such outward emotional expression would be rewarded with social punishment, religious scorn, or even death. So she really doesn't have the healthiest mechanisms to express her emotions.
She hides what she feels all the time as a means of keeping herself safe from punishment. She keeps it to herself cause she does not want you to see her as weak, as she would have been in the past. And she certainly does not want you or anyone else to punish her for it either. She hides behind little pet names and even using words from languages she knows you don't understand as that is the only way she feels safe being vulnerable with you. In her past, her love was rewarded with new wounds and new scars. She is terrified to open up to you, fearing that you will hurt her because she loves you. That her love for you won't actually be enough to stop you from hurting her. And she will only ever admit she loves you in contexts that have a high risk of death because there's really not much for her to lose at that point so she may as well tell you.
She also has a habit of intellectualizing what she feels and experiences so that they appear as "rational" and "logical" rather than emotional and to distance herself from her emotions. She says it takes a sharp mind to have sympathy for someone who suffers unnecessarily. She is trying to make it appear that emotions like sympathy is a matter of the mind, not the heart. That it is a mark of intelligence, because otherwise it would be the mark of weakness.
She blames herself for her own torments, like she deserved the awful things that happened to her. She frames the situation like she is more at fault and more deserving of blame, than the people who hurt her. It is the only way she can find any reason in what happened to her and any reason in her tormentors actions. That she did something wrong and induced someone's wrath upon her, rather than acknowledging that the person who hurt her is just a bad person.
She deserved what Ketheric and Orin did to her because she was "weak, passive, proud". That her emotional state had blinded her from the trap that was set, giving Ketheric and Orin ample opportunity to attack her. That if she hadn't felt those exact emotions, then it wouldn't have happened. She could have seen the trap coming, or she could have fought back.
Or if you attempt to tell her that her childhood was rough and her mother abused her, she immediately deflects by saying, "it could have been worse" and therefore, what she did actually experience wasn't really that bad. And yeah, sure, maybe she needed certain lessons given that she lived in a cruel and dangerous society like Menzoberranzan where she had to be prepared for violence at all times. But trauma is not born of love, it is born of fear, of pain, of agony, and her mother still tried to kill her. Regardless of her mother's intent, it was the first broken bond of trust and it left a mark on Minthara. Where she began to believe that her mother would torment her for torments sake, and she had doubts on whether or not her mother actually loved her.
When you encounter the first Orin imposter, it's pretty damn obvious she is terrified. And you kinda gotta squeeze it out of her to admit that she's afraid. Where it's "I'm afraid of Orin because she is capable of this, this, and this, and you should be too" rather than "I am afraid of Orin because she hurt me." And she begs you, BEGS, to keep her safe because she knows her fear makes her vulnerable to Orin.
She doesn't even truly acknowledge that she wasn't at fault for what Orin did to her until Orin is dead. She doesn't start putting the blame on Orin until Orin is dead. She doesn't go through the emotional process of sympathizing with herself until Orin is dead. And she doesn't admit that she undoubtedly has trauma, until Orin is dead. She gets so wrapped up, and so lost in her own fear and paranoia that she never has the room to properly process the things that happen to her. That her primary concern right now is keeping you, the others, and herself safe and her emotions can wait because wallowing in them will only make her weak. Only does the distance of death give her the room to start healing. Only problem is that there have always been threats and they never end, they never stop. So it is rare for Minthara to ever have a moment of peace and safety to work through what she feels and they just get backed up. Ignoring your problems does not make them go away.
So you wanna know what will happen when an embrace Durge betrays her? She will fall to her death, a knife in her belly, blaming herself for your betrayal. All her worst fears have come to pass and you were indeed a lover who hurt her because she loved you, and that she was a fool to ever trust you at all. That if she didn't love you, maybe you wouldn't have hurt her. She doesn't understand your reasoning, she can't make sense of it, she doesn't know why you'd betray her, so it must have been her fault for thinking you'd be different. That if she hadn't been so loyal, so devoted, that she could have been spared. That her belief that you would rule together is what damned her. She will die blaming herself for her own murder before she ever gets a chance to start blaming you.
#bg3#baldur's gate 3#minthara#minthara baenre#evil murder kitten#some people genuinely act shocked when minthara does express her vulnerabilities and show emotion#as they truly believed she was incapable of having any emotion at all#because people think evil = heartless monster#guys - evil and emotion are not mutually exclusive#i remember talking about how minthara will cry if origin karlach chooses not to go to avernus#and people were stunned because they didn't think minthara capable of *feelings*#and they didn't believe me until i provided video evidence#or the endless Reddit debates reminding people that her being cruel to others#does not mean she is cruel to you because she quite literally would never#she would let you hurt her before she ever hurts you#i'm just gonna say that if you approach someone who is so emotionally repressed#and treat them as if they're incapable of emotion - or that their rare show of emotion is bizarre and out of character for them#you are telling them that you will invalidate how they feel and you are not a safe person to express emotion around#and they will continue to repress how they feel in your presence#please - let minthara feel things#she feels a lot and she feels too much
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The ancient sages helmets had such great designs it would've been cool if you could get them and they worked like Majoras Mask.
Repeating what the masks would do vvv
If they made treversing the sky harder then you could freely explore the sky with the Sage of Wind mask.
With the Sage of Fire mask you can roll fast on ground but also at the top speed climb up walls.
If they had added stuff underwater you could explore that with the Sage of Water mask and its a great way to move fast in water.
Mask of Lightning i think geurdo and hylians are too similar (the diffrence would be having round ears) so it doesn't transform you but it would let you summon lightning like Riju and Urbosa.
The Mask of Spirits is more difficult but it would either turn you zonai like mineru or turns you into a ghost that goes undetected by npc and monsters.
#loz totk#oooh what if we had cool masks and interacted differently with the world oo i miss majoras mask#the first drawing wasnt actually a part of this au it was just hey lets compare the old and new hero if they were both green cat thingies#this would need to change so much for the core game too work but it would be fun to move about as these diffrent guys#feel free to say ur ideas i like hearing what other people would do
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so about the header that proceeded today's statement:
Viability as agent: Low
Viability as subject: None
Viability as catalyst: Medium
i didn't know what to think of this part of the entry at first, but the longer the statement went on... was the institute in this universe trying to manufacture avatars?
the dice can't do anything without someone to use them, they can't be an "agent" by themselves, but might be capable of manipulation, so in that aspect their viability is "low."
the dice could be a "subject" in the sense that they could use further studying, but the statement itself was a very thorough investigation of their workings, so in that aspect their viability is "none."
the dice seem to influence their holder to roll them, or at least find more victims to roll them, and could therefore be described as a "catalyst" for someone's becoming. but, as seen in the statement, their owner can give the dice to someone else (albeit not without consequences), so in that aspect their viability is only "medium."
so what about the line following all this, what does "Recommend referral to Catalytics for Enrichment applicability assessment" mean? if we go by this interpretation, i'd say it could mean the institute wanted to find a way to make the dice even more potent as an artifact, maybe even remove that pesky ability for their owner to reject them.
imho all of this this brings a whole new level of context to the events of episode seven, of unknown violent agents going after an influx of objects that seemed straight out of artifact storage. was that the nature of the titular "magnus protocol" first mentioned in episode four, the one that involved the starkwall group? containing or destroying potential artifacts before the institute could get their hands on them?
it also makes their "gifted kids program," and sam's link to it as one of the kids being studied, all the more horrifying to think about. was it not just avatars in general they were after, but child avatars specifically? no wonder gertrude got so defensive over the possibility of sam and celia dragging gerry back into the institute's business last episode, we all picked up on her clearly knowing more than she's letting on but now we might know the shape of that information a bit better.
and one final bit of food for thought... this statement had a lot of familiar themes, didn't it? free will or the illusion of it, gambling and not-so-random chance, the statement giver being done in by one final hit from what feels like a bit of an addition... all hallmarks of a certain mother of puppets. doesn't it seem fitting that "chester" would use this kind of statement to warn sam about what harm pursuing the magnus institute could bring to him, considering the one his voice might draw from? and doesn't it seem so painfully ironic that his warning seems to have only driven sam further into that web?
#tmagp#the magnus protocol#tmagp spoilers#tmagp 9 spoilers#MANY THOUGHTS HEAD FULL AAAAAAAAAA#there are so many other things i want to link to this but i also just want to post it asap to get other people's thoughts#honestly at the word 'catalyst' my mind went straight to mike crew using ex altiora to become an avatar of the vast#combing through lietners until he found one that fit#and the statement giver from mag 4 feeling like he had to specifically sell ex altiora to gerry or it wouldn't 'count'#i can't pull out the episode quotes every time i have a theory or it becomes a bit passé but know they are always on my mind#also that last paragraph just came to me in a vision while i was typing up the rest of this i hope it's not too far of a reach#i tried to keep it vague but i'm also imagining jon banging his head against the inside of a crt monitor in frustration r/n#i still need to read the breakdown of the arg so if any info in that bolsters or discredits this please let me know!!!
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