#instead of avoiding it like she did before

[moonlightwritingf1]

The Invitation That Changed Everything | LN4

❆⋆꙳•☃︎⋆꙳•✩⋆꙳•❅ summary ━━━━━━━ When Y/N spends Christmas at Lando’s family home, a quiet night on the couch takes an unexpected turn. Playful teasing gives way to lingering touches and a kiss that blurs the line between friendship and something deeper.

❆⋆꙳•☃︎⋆꙳•✩⋆꙳•❅ pairing ━━━━━━━ Lando Norris x she!reader

❆⋆꙳•☃︎⋆꙳•✩⋆꙳•❅ word count ━━━━━━━ 4.5k

❆⋆꙳•☃︎⋆꙳•✩⋆꙳•❅ warnings ━━━━━━━ +18, sexual content

The house was quiet, except for the soft flicker of the TV casting shadows across the living room. The hum of the fire in the fireplace added a gentle warmth to the air, but it did little to drown out the tension that stretched between Y/N and Lando as they sat on the couch. They were cocooned under a fluffy blanket, a classic Christmas movie playing in the background—a movie neither of them had paid much attention to since the opening credits.

Lando’s arm draped casually around Y/N’s shoulders at first, but as the minutes ticked by, his thumb began to trace slow, deliberate circles against her arm. Each touch sent a shiver down her spine, though she tried her best to ignore it. He noticed, of course. He always did this—teased without saying a word. His silent pursuit was relentless, and tonight was no different.

“You cold?” he asked, his voice low and teasing. The smirk tugging at the corner of his lips made it clear he already knew the answer.

Y/N shook her head, swallowing hard. “No,” she replied, though her voice betrayed her as it came out softer than she intended. She could feel the heat rising in her cheeks, and she cursed herself for being so transparent. Why does he have this effect on me? she wondered, avoiding his gaze.

Lando chuckled softly, the sound rumbling through his chest where it pressed against her shoulder. His hand slid down to her waist, tugging her closer until their bodies were pressed together under the blanket. “You’re not very convincing,” he murmured, his breath warm against her ear.

She bit her lip, trying to steady her breathing. Every part of her wanted to lean into him, to let herself fall into the moment, but she fought it. “I’m fine,” she said stubbornly, though her voice wavered.

Lando didn’t respond with words. Instead, his fingers traced lazy patterns along her side, sending tiny jolts of electricity through her skin. He was too close, too present, and she couldn’t think straight. When she turned her head to retort, her words caught in her throat when she realized how close he was. His eyes locked onto hers, a mix of amusement and something deeper. Something hungry.

The tension between them, always lingering just beneath the surface, crackled in the quiet room. She could feel it now, hot and heavy, like a storm brewing just out of sight. Her pulse quickened as she waited, unsure of what would happen next.

Lando hesitated for only a moment before leaning in, capturing her lips in a slow, deliberate kiss. It was soft at first, testing the waters, but when Y/N didn’t pull away, his hand tightened around her waist, deepening the kiss. His lips moved against hers with practiced ease, coaxing a response she hadn’t realized she was capable of giving.

Oh.

Her breath hitched as his tongue teased the seam of her lips, and she parted them instinctively, letting him in. The sensation was overwhelming, electric, and she couldn’t help but cling to him, her hands finding their way into the hair at the nape of his neck.

The movie on the screen faded into the background, forgotten as Lando’s hands began to wander. Beneath the blanket, his fingers brushed against her thigh, tracing the edge of her shorts with maddening precision. Each touch was unhurried, teasing, and intimate, as if testing just how far the barrier between them could crumble. Y/N’s breath hitched, and she leaned into him, her own hands finding their way to his chest.

“Lando…” she whispered against his lips, her voice barely audible over the sound of her racing heart.

He pulled back slightly, his dark eyes searching hers. “Too much?” he asked, though there was no real question in his tone. He knew exactly what he was doing.

“No,” she admitted quietly, her cheeks burning. “Not enough.”

His smirk returned, wicked and knowing, and he kissed her again, harder this time. His hand slipped beneath the hem of her shirt, grazing the soft skin of her stomach before sliding upward. His fingertips danced over the curve of her breast, barely touching, yet it was enough to make her gasp into his mouth.

The cozy warmth of the moment, the glow of the TV, and the intimacy of being alone together made every kiss, every touch, feel heightened, thrilling. The lines between friendship and something much more blurred with each passing second, leaving no room for anything but them.

Lando shifted slightly, angling himself so that he could kiss down her neck, pausing to nip lightly at the sensitive spot just below her ear. “You’re so beautiful,” he murmured against her skin, his voice rough with desire.

Y/N’s breath caught in her throat as his words washed over her. Beautiful. She wasn’t sure she’d ever heard him say that before, not like this, and it sent a flush of warmth through her entire body.

“Lando…” she breathed, unsure of what to say or do.

He looked up at her, his gaze intense. “What do you want, Y/N?” he asked, his voice low and gravelly.

She swallowed hard, her mind racing. “You,” she whispered finally, her voice trembling.

His expression softened, and he kissed her again, gentle this time, as if memorizing the shape of her lips. Then, slowly, deliberately, he reached down and gripped the hem of her shirt, lifting it over her head and tossing it aside.

Y/N froze for a moment, then forced herself to relax, trusting him completely. His eyes devoured her as he took in the sight of her, bare except for the delicate lace of her bra.

“Perfect,” he murmured, his voice thick with emotion.

Before she could respond, he leaned in and kissed her again, his hands cupping her breasts through the fabric of her bra. His thumbs brushed over her nipples, making her arch into his touch with a soft moan.

“Tell me,” he said between kisses, his voice commanding. “Tell me what you want.”

“Touch me,” she begged, her voice breaking. “Please, Lando.”

He didn’t need to be told twice. His hands moved with purpose, unsnapping her bra with effortless skill. When the cups fell away, revealing her fully, his breath hitched.

“Look at you,” he whispered, his voice raw with admiration.

Y/N blushed furiously, lowering her gaze. But Lando wouldn’t let her shy away. Gently, he tilted her chin up, forcing her to meet his eyes.

“Don’t look away,” he commanded softly. “I want to see you. All of you.”

Her heart pounded in her chest as she nodded, unable to form words. Lando’s lips descended on hers once more, his kisses growing more insistent, more desperate. His hands roamed freely now, exploring every inch of her exposed skin.

When his mouth left hers to trail kisses down her neck and collarbone, Y/N’s hands clenched tightly in the material of his shirt, pulling him closer. She needed more of him, every part of him.

“Lando,” she whimpered, her voice trembling with need.

He responded by dropping to his knees in front of her, his hands slipping beneath the waistband of her shorts. With one swift motion, he tugged them down, exposing her to his heated gaze.

Y/N gasped, blushing fiercely. “Lando, what are you—”

But he silenced her with a single finger over her lips, a wicked grin spreading across his face.

“Shh,” he murmured. “Let me show you.”

Her breath hitched as his fingers trailed lower, brushing against the delicate skin of her inner thighs. The sensation sent a jolt of electricity through her, making her shiver uncontrollably. His touch was deliberate, almost reverent, as if he were exploring something precious.

Oh god, he’s really going to do this, she thought, her heart pounding in her chest. She could feel the heat pooling between her legs, and she couldn’t deny how much she wanted him to continue.

Lando’s eyes met hers for a brief moment, a flicker of raw desire burning deep within their brown depths. Then, without a word, he leaned in, his warm breath fanning over her sensitive folds. She let out a soft moan, unable to contain the noise as his tongue flicked out, tasting her for the first time.

The shock of the sensation made her gasp, her hips instinctively bucking toward him. But Lando held her firmly in place, his grip gentle yet unyielding. He took his time, savoring every sound that escaped her lips, every twitch of her body as he pleasured her.

His tongue worked in slow, rhythmic strokes, pressing against her clit with expert precision. Each flick sent waves of pleasure crashing through her, building higher and higher until she felt like she was teetering on the edge of oblivion.

“Lando…” she whimpered, her voice trembling. “Please, don’t stop…”

He rewarded her plea with a deeper, more intense lick, his fingers parting her folds to grant himself better access. Y/N cried out, clutching at the blanket beneath her, her nails digging into the fabric as her orgasm began to build.

Lando seemed to sense it too; his movements grew more frantic, more desperate, as if he were determined to bring her to the brink. His lips pressed tightly against her, sucking gently as his tongue danced around her clit, driving her closer and closer to the edge.

“I’m… I’m gonna—” she gasped, her words barely coherent as her body tensed, her toes curling against the floor.

With one final, powerful sweep of his tongue, Lando pushed her over the edge. Y/N screamed his name, her body convulsing as wave after wave of ecstasy washed over her. It felt like everything inside her was exploding, her entire world narrowing down to the pulsing warmth between her legs and the man who had brought her to such heights.

When the tremors finally subsided, she lay there, panting and soaked with sweat, her mind still reeling from the intensity of her release. Lando didn’t move, either; instead, he gently kissed her thigh, his breathing just as ragged as hers.

“You okay?” he asked softly, his voice rough with arousal.

She nodded, though her voice still failed her. Her eyes drifted downward, taking in the sight of him kneeling before her. And then she noticed it—the unmistakable bulge in his pants, straining against the fabric as if begging for release.

A wicked smile spread across her lips. He wants this just as much as I do.

Without thinking, she reached out, her fingers brushing against the zipper of his jeans. Lando hissed at the contact, his entire body tensing as she slowly pulled it down. His cock sprang free, thick and throbbing, already slick with pre-cum.

“Fuck, Y/N…” he groaned, his hand gripping the back of her thigh as she wrapped her fingers around him.

He pushed himself up from his position between her legs and eased himself down onto the couch. She didn’t hesitate for a moment, slowly sinking to her knees in front of him. Her movement was deliberate, her hands brushing lightly against the floor as she settled there, her eyes rising to meet his with a mix of vulnerability, determination, and hunger.

She stroked him once, twice, marveling at how smooth and hard he felt in her hand. His hips jerked slightly, clearly eager for more, but she wasn’t ready to give it to him just yet. Not until she was sure he understood exactly how good he’d made her feel.

“Fair play is only fair,” she murmured, leaning in closer. Her lips brushed against the tip of his cock, sending another low groan rumbling from his chest.

And then, very slowly, she opened her mouth and took him in.

Lando’s body tensed as her lips closed around him, his breath hitching in his throat. Her mouth was warm, wet, and impossibly soft, a contrast to the firm grip of her hand that still held him steady. He groaned deeply, his fingers digging into the couch cushion as he tried to stay grounded. The sound vibrated through her, stirring something primal inside her. She liked the way he reacted, the way he surrendered to her.

“Fuck…” he muttered again, more breath than voice, his head falling back against the cushions. “You’re… you’re killing me.”

Y/N smirked against him, her eyes flickering up to meet his. She loved seeing him like this—vulnerable, desperate, completely under her control. It was a side of Lando she rarely got to see, and she wasn’t about to waste it.

She pulled back slightly, just enough to tease the tip with her tongue, swirling around the sensitive ridge before taking him deep again. His hips twitched, involuntarily pushing toward her, but she resisted, keeping him at the mercy of her pace. She wanted this to last. She wanted to draw out every moment, savor every moan, every shiver.

Her hand moved in tandem with her mouth, stroking him firmly as she focused on the head, teasing the slit with her thumb. The combination of sensations made his legs tense, his toes curling into the plush rug beneath the couch.

“Jesus, Y/N…” he gasped, his voice raw. “You don’t play fair.”

She hummed in response, the vibrations traveling down his length. His fingers clenched tighter, as if he were trying to hold himself back, but it was useless. She could feel his restraint unraveling with every pass of her tongue, every flick against the underside of his shaft.

One of his hands slid to the back of her head, gently gripping her hair. Not forcing, not controlling—just holding onto her as if she were the only thing keeping him tethered. The gesture sent a thrill through her, knowing she had this kind of power over him.

“That’s it…” he murmured, his voice thick with arousal. “God, you’re so good at this…”

His praise fueled her, making her even more determined to blow his mind. She shifted her angle, focusing on the base of his shaft with her hand while her mouth worked the upper half. The dual stimulation was driving him wild, his body trembling under the intensity.

“Y/N…” he said her name like a plea, his hips lifting slightly off the couch, seeking more. “I’m not gonna last much longer…”

She pulled back, blowing a soft puff of air across the tip. His entire body jerked at the sensation, a low growl escaping his throat. “Then don’t,” she whispered, her voice dripping with mischief. “Let go for me, Lando. I want to feel you come apart.”

His eyes locked onto hers, dark and stormy with desire. “You’re fucking ruthless,” he muttered, though there was no real venom in his tone. If anything, it was pure admiration.

She smiled up at him, her lips curving into a sly grin. “And you love it.”

Before he could respond, she took him fully into her mouth once more, this time picking up the pace. Her hand stroked in sync with her mouth, moving faster as she felt his pulse quicken. His thighs trembled, muscles straining as he fought to stay still. But Y/N wasn’t having it. She reached down, her free hand brushing against his inner thigh, urging him to move with her.

Lando let out a strangled groan, his hips snapping forward as he pushed into her mouth. She welcomed him, swallowing around him as he thrust into her warmth. Her lips formed a tight seal, her tongue working relentlessly against the underside of his cock. Each push brought him deeper, until he was hitting the back of her throat with every glide.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck…” he cursed under his breath, his hands fisting in her hair as he fucked her mouth with abandon. The sound of his grunts and the slickness of their movements filled the room, drowning out the faint hum of the Christmas movie still playing in the background.

Y/N relished the feeling of being used like this, the way his body rewarded hers with every movement. She could feel him nearing his limit, his thrusts becoming more erratic, his breathing ragged and uneven. She tightened her grip, her fingertips pressing into his skin as she urged him closer to the edge.

“Y/N…” he panted, his voice breaking. “I’m gonna… I’m gonna…”

She didn’t let up, sucking harder, stroking faster. She wanted to take him over, wanted to be the one who drove him past the point of no return. And just as she felt his release building, she pulled back slightly, letting her lips trail along his length as she teased the tip with her tongue.

“Don’t stop…” he begged, his voice barely audible. “Please, baby, don’t stop…”

She gave him one last stroke of her hand before taking him back into her mouth, her throat tightening around him as she swallowed him down. The sensation was too much. With a roar of release, Lando spilled into her mouth, his body convulsing as wave after wave of pleasure washed over him.

Y/N stayed with him, milking every last drop until he collapsed back against the couch, utterly spent. She pulled away slowly, her lips glistening as she looked up at him, a satisfied smile tugging at her mouth.

Lando stared down at her, his chest heaving as he tried to catch his breath. “Holy shit…” he managed, his voice hoarse. “That was… I can’t even…”

She chuckled softly, leaning back on her heels. “You looked like you needed that,” she teased, her tone light but her eyes still shimmering with heat.

He shook his head, still unable to form a coherent sentence. “You’re unbelievable,” he finally said, his voice filled with awe. “I don’t think anyone’s ever done that to me before.”

Y/N grinned, her confidence shining through. “Well, someone had to show you how it’s done,” she replied, her voice dripping with self-assuredness.

He laughed weakly, still reeling from the experience. “You’re right,” he admitted, reaching for her. “But now it’s my turn.”

She raised an eyebrow, intrigued. “Oh? And what exactly are you planning?”

Lando’s lips curled into a sly grin as he pulled her closer, his hands settling on her hips. “Something tells me you’re not going to complain,” he murmured, his breath hot against her ear.

Before she could respond, his lips found hers, kissing her deeply as his hands began to explore her body once more.

Lando’s lips lingered on hers, the taste of him still fresh in her mouth as his hands tightened around her hips. His kiss was slow and deliberate, a gentle reminder of how much control he could wield with just his touch. Y/N felt herself melting into him, her body betraying her resolve with every passing second.

“Come with me,” Lando murmured against her lips, his voice low and husky. He pulled back slightly, his dark eyes locking onto hers, searching for an answer she hadn’t even realized she was giving.

She hesitated for only a moment. The warmth of his hand on her lower back, guiding her off the couch, was enough to shatter any lingering doubts. “Where are we going?” she asked, her voice barely above a whisper, though her tone was playful.

“Somewhere more private,” he teased, his grin widening as he led her down the hallway toward his bedroom. The soft glow from the living room lights cast long shadows behind them, adding an air of secrecy to their movements. Y/N couldn’t help but feel a thrill at the thought of what was to come.

Lando’s room was dimly lit, the moonlight streaming through the curtains adding a silvery hue to the space. The bed was perfectly made, a stark contrast to the chaos they were about to create. He closed the door behind them, turning to face her with that same smirk pulling at his lips.

“Now, where were we?” he asked, his voice low and teasing as his fingers trailed down her arm with deliberate slowness. The warmth of his touch sent another shiver through her, but this time it wasn’t from cold. It was the kind of shiver that came from anticipation, from the undeniable heat building between them.

Y/N didn’t answer. She didn’t need to. Instead, she let out a soft, almost breathless laugh as Lando’s hand reached her waist. He tugged her closer, pressing her body flush against his. The sensation of his hard chest against her bare skin made her breath hitch, her nipples tightening in response. His lips found hers again, and this kiss was different—deeper, more possessive. It felt like he was staking a claim, like he needed to remind her just who was in control here.

She moaned softly into his mouth, the sound vibrating against his tongue as she surrendered to the overwhelming desire coursing through her veins. Her hands threaded through his dark hair, pulling him closer as if she couldn’t get enough. The feeling of his strong hands on her naked body, the way he held her like she was something precious, was intoxicating.

Lando’s hands moved lower, skimming over the curve of her ass with a firmness that made her gasp. He lifted her effortlessly, guiding her onto his lap. Y/N instinctively wrapped her legs around his waist, her hips shifting against him as she settled herself over his hardness. His jeans were unbuttoned, the denim rough against her sensitive skin, but it wasn’t enough to distract her from the throbbing ache between her thighs.

She could feel him there, pressing against her slick folds, his dick still a bit sensitive from his first orgasm but undeniably present. The thought of him inside her, filling her completely, sent a wave of heat pooling low in her belly.

“You feel so good,” Lando murmured, his voice rough with desire as he adjusted her position. His hands gripped her hips, guiding her movements as he rubbed her pussy against his dick. The friction was maddening, each slow grind sending sparks of pleasure radiating through her core.

Y/N gasped, her head falling back as she arched into him. The feeling of his length sliding against her wetness was electric, the added pressure making her clit throb with need. “Lando…” she whispered his name, her voice trembling with urgency.

He kissed her neck, nibbling at the sensitive skin just below her ear before trailing his lips back up to capture her moan. “That’s it,” he said, his voice thick with lust. “Ride me, sweetheart. Make me hard for you.”

Her hips moved in response, the rhythm becoming more desperate as she ground herself against him. Each thrust of her hips brought her closer to the edge, her breaths coming in short, ragged gasps. Lando’s hands tightened on her waist, his thumb brushing against the swell of her breast as he watched her with hooded eyes.

“You’re doing so well,” he praised, his tone dripping with admiration. “Just like that…”

The praise only fueled her arousal, her movements growing more frantic as she sought release. The friction between her aching clit and his hardness was driving her wild, the pleasure building with every passing second.

Lando groaned, his hips bucking slightly as he pressed himself harder against her. “Fuck, Y/N,” he muttered, his voice strained. “You’re killing me here.”

She could feel him growing harder beneath her, the sensitivity from earlier fading as his need for her intensified. The evidence of his arousal pressing against her was impossible to ignore, and it only made her want him more.

“Please,” Y/N begged, her voice breaking as she clutched at his shoulders. “I need… I need you inside me.”

Lando’s eyes darkened, his gaze locked on hers as he positioned himself at her entrance. “Are you sure?” he asked, his voice barely above a whisper. “Because once I start, I’m not sure if I'll be able to stop.”

She nodded, her body trembling with anticipation. “Yes,” she said firmly. “I’m sure.”

With a groan, Lando slid into her in one smooth motion. The sensation was overwhelming, the stretch of him filling her completely sending a jolt of pleasure straight to her core. Y/N cried out, her nails digging into his shoulders as she adjusted to the feeling of him inside her.

Lando held still for a moment, giving her time to grow accustomed to his size. But when she began moving her hips again, he knew she was ready. “God, you’re so tight,” he muttered, his voice ragged as he began thrusting into her.

The rhythm was slow at first, deliberate, as if he was savoring every inch of her. But it quickly grew faster, more urgent, as they both gave in to their primal desires. Y/N’s hands gripped his arms, her nails leaving faint marks as she rode the waves of pleasure crashing over her.

“Harder,” she demanded, her voice barely audible over the sound of their labored breathing.

Lando complied without hesitation, his thrusts growing deeper, rougher as he claimed her with every powerful stroke. The slap of flesh against flesh filled the room, mingling with their moans and cries of pleasure.

“Yes,” Y/N screamed, her body arching as the orgasm tore through her. Her inner walls clenched tightly around him, milking him as she came undone.

Lando followed soon after, his own climax hitting him with the force of a freight train. He buried his face in the crook of her neck, his teeth grazing her skin as he spilled inside her.

For a moment, they stayed like that, tangled together in the aftermath of their shared ecstasy. Lando’s heart pounded against her chest, the sound echoing in her ears as she struggled to catch her breath.

“Lando…” she whispered, her voice soft and shaky.

“Hmm?” he replied, his voice lazy and content as he nuzzled into her neck.

“What happens now?” she asked, her tone uncertain as she looked down at him.

Lando pulled back slightly, his blue eyes searching hers with an intensity that made her heart skip a beat. “Now,” he said, his voice low and serious, “we figure out what comes next. Together.”

His hand cupped her cheek, his thumb brushing away a stray tear she hadn’t even realized she’d shed. “Okay?” he asked, his tone gentle despite the weight of his words.

Y/N nodded, her breath hitching as she smiled down at him. “Okay,” she agreed, her voice soft but resolute.

Lando kissed her then, a slow, tender kiss that spoke volumes about the depth of his feelings for her. It was a promise, a declaration that whatever happened next, they would face it together.

As their lips parted, Lando’s hands traveled down her body, tracing the curves of her hips and thighs with a reverence that made her feel cherished. “You know,” he said, his voice playful once more, “I might be too tired to go another round right now, but I think we can find other ways to keep things interesting.”

Y/N raised an eyebrow, a smirk playing at the corners of her lips. “Oh? And what did you have in mind?” she asked, her tone teasing as she traced a finger along the edge of his jawline.

Lando’s eyes gleamed with mischief as he captured her finger in his mouth, sucking gently before releasing it with a pop. “Well,” he said, his voice dripping with suggestion, “there’s always the kitchen…”

[please-destroy]

A Perfect Mix

Natasha Romanoff x Reader + Family

Word Count: 1.8K

This follows on from the last fic I've posted.

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Noone saw Natasha’s strengths as a mother like you did.

There was something almost clumsy about the force of her love.

When Yelena was born, Natasha had been overwhelmed with the feeling. When she first looked down at the baby in her arms, Natasha forgot how to breathe. You watched the beginning of an uncontrollable love. 

Yelena had always looked up to Natasha with a wide-eyed awe. Even when she was very little, if Natasha came into the room, Yelena’s gaze would find her, following her every movement excitedly. 

Natasha had never expected to be the favourite parent, not even for a brief moment. Yelena quickly reset her expectations. She wasn’t shy in showing her delight for her Mom. You watched her smile and coo and giggle easily just at the sight of Natasha. 

At first, Natasha had been careful, almost shy in her responses to her daughter’s affection. She held Yelena carefully, like she was the most fragile thing in the world. She couldn’t help but give Yelena her softest smiles. 

You loved seeing this side of her. You knew Natasha’s gentleness better than anyone. It was a trait that she couldn’t help with the people she loved. In the past, you’d felt her try to avoid it. A fear of rejection and vulnerability that you could forgive easily.

Yelena made Natasha brave. She loved Natasha and she expected Natasha to love her too.

Natasha never let her down.

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The very first time Yelena had walked, she’d wandered unsteadily over to Natasha. You’d swallowed a cheer of excitement, scrambling to find your phone to record the moment.

Yelena’s face had split into a delighted grin, thrilled that her newly acquired skill was helping her get to her Mom faster. 

When she made it, Natasha scooped her into a careful hug and you watched her eyes close. 

It was only when you heard her murmur ‘Well done’ in a choked voice that you realised she was holding back tears. 

Yelena was special. Just by being herself, she made Natasha feel special too.

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You started to become stubborn in your belief that Yelena was a perfect mix of yourself and Natasha.

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You explained your theory to Natasha one night as you were both on the verge of sleep. You felt Natasha’s gaze clinging to you through the dark, in that hopeful way that made her seem young. You felt her fingers lazily tracing your pulse point.

‘You’re brave and kind. And so is she.’ You explained simply. 

Natasha hesitated at the compliment; her fingers paused for a moment on your skin but she didn’t vocalise any disagreement. Yelena’s emerging personality was undeniably similar to Natasha’s.

After a moment, Natasha cleared her throat and asked. 

‘What about you?’

You grinned in anticipation, your answer well prepared. 

‘Well.’ You started slowly, reaching to find Natasha’s face in the dark, your thumb brushing her lips to ascertain their exact location. ‘She’s incredibly smart, of course.’

You moved closer to Natasha in the bed. You could feel her smile of agreement beneath your thumb. 

Natasha was trying to be lowkey about her belief that Yelena was the world’s next great genius. But you’d caught her the other day, very preemptively, researching a Stark scholarship programme for high achievers.

‘And I know she’s so smart because she figured out immediately that Natasha Romanoff is the best person in the world.’

You kissed Natasha quickly before she could roll her eyes or argue your point. Instead, you felt her smile harder against your lips, clearly aware of your scheme.

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Even though she’d had it her whole life, Yelena’s faith in her mother always seemed completely fresh. You loved that it had never wavered. 

You could tell it scared Natasha.

You knew the pressure of that faith weighed heavily on her. Yelena trusted her wholeheartedly because she loved the Mom she’d always known. At first, she couldn’t conceive of the person Natasha had been before that.

It was when Yelena turned four that she first understood what her extended family had been hinting at every time they visited. After an afternoon spent with some of Natasha’s closest friends, ‘Avenger’ was no longer a meaningless word to Yelena. Instead, it became a special term of honour used by those around her. 

The leap of understanding wasn’t hard for her. For Yelena, her Mom was already a superhero.

Now, almost relentlessly, she would crawl onto the sofa next to Natasha and ask for stories. 

Yelena had a way of sneaking up on you. Natasha fell for it every single time. Sometimes she’d find herself cornered unexpectedly and catch your eye from across the room. You’d just grin back knowingly. Yelena would twist pieces of Natasha’s long hair as she asked for yet another story from her past. Natasha’s hand would stay pressed lightly at the small of her back, making sure her enthusiastic climbing never ended badly.

Natasha’s voice always sounded gravelly when she told those stories. For a woman trained in hiding her emotions, her subtlety was often forgotten. Natasha’s eyes would flicker nervously over to you whenever she obviously abridged a more traumatic story. 

At first, she was hesitant to ever mention the alien invasion in New York, sure it would give Yelena nightmares. Eventually, she’d brought it up hesitantly, recounting it more like a fairytale than anything else. 

Yelena, of course, latched onto the idea with more enthusiasm than anything before. She built aliens and spaceships out of cereal boxes. Her favourite game was pretending to be an Avenger saving the world from an other-worldly danger. Even when she asked Natasha to play with her, Yelena always insisted on being the Black Widow. Nothing made you laugh harder than when Natasha was relegated to play the role of ‘Hulk’ in her own story.

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It wasn’t surprising that Yelena asked for a Black Widow action figure doll for Christmas that year. Nonetheless, you felt a kind of sharp pride when you read through her list for Santa. It was more crayon than words but you immediately recognised the red black widow symbol clumsily drawn in the centre of the page.

Yelena asked you twice to put an urgent stamp on her letter, clearly sceptical of non-reindeer delivery services.

.

You didn’t tell Natasha about Yelena’s request, happy to wait for her reaction on Christmas Day. 

You were grateful for Yelena’s love of your wife’s alter-ego. You loved the way that the ‘Black Widow’ had become something more simple in your family; an easy shorthand for your wife’s bravery. 

.

Having Yelena in your lives now made Christmas twice as exciting and intense. You loved it. 

The day began with the simple perfection you cherished. 

Natasha gave you a sleepy smile over a cup of coffee, loose pieces of her tied back hair floating around her head. Her red and white pyjamas were patterned in a Christmas theme. Her fluffy reindeer socks had been a present unwrapped earlier.

Yelena screamed, half wild with holiday excitement, as she unwrapped the Black Widow box. She hugged the plastic casing and turned to you both with shiny eyes and an overwhelming smile.

You smiled back immediately, loving the feeling of sharing her joy. You listened to her excited chatter, holding out the box so you could get a better look.

You didn’t get a chance to see Natasha’s reaction, before you felt a hurried movement to the side of you.

Natasha left the room abruptly and your heart sunk with the dawning realisation that you’d misjudged the moment. You followed her covertly, leaving as soon as Yelena turned to Lila for help getting the doll out of the packaging.

You found Natasha silently shaking in the hallway, her back pressed to the wall. You recognised the emotions that had come to an unexpected head. Natasha would never call this feeling anxiety. Still, her eyes clung to yours, seeking the grounding that you knew how to give her. 

The sinking feeling in your chest crystallised. Natasha looked small, her arms wrapped around herself. 

You realised suddenly, that Natasha didn’t see herself in the stories that Yelena loved. You thought of all the details that Natasha omitted in her careful retellings. 

Black Widow didn’t make her feel brave. Only her family did. 

You moved towards her carefully, hugging her in an expression of unspoken regret and comfort. Natasha fit so familiarly in your arms. As always, you revelled in the nearness of her. Natasha’s warm embrace was home. Her head rested slightly on your shoulder and the comfortable silence between you stretched out. Her breathing steadied in the quiet seconds that followed. You felt calmer too, as if you could feel her slowing heartbeat in your own chest.

Family made you feel brave too.

.

The door from the living room was flung open less than a minute later. Yelena’s unaware delight was almost painfully endearing. 

‘Mama.’ She called out to Natasha. You barely had time to open your embrace before Yelena was confidently sneaking between the pair of you. She lifted the doll above her head so that Natasha could have a better look. 

‘I love her.’ She declared and you couldn’t stop the smile that spread over your face.

You tried to take the pressure away from Natasha as best you could, redirecting Yelena’s focus.

‘Santa must have read your list baby.’ You told her, brushing loose hair away from her eyes. Yelena gave you a secret smile, obviously remembering her earlier worries about the North Pole’s mailing system. 

Your attempt was ineffective. Like a magnet, her attention returned to Natasha.

Sometimes, Yelena didn’t seem quite as unaware as you believed. You weren’t sure what she read in Natasha’s often hesitant gaze. Her arms wrapped around Natasha’s leg confidently and you watched her squeeze tightly. 

‘Don’t worry Mama, I still love you just as much.’ Yelena assured her seriously, cheek pressed against her Mom’s side. 

Natasha met your gaze as her hand moved with instinctive protectiveness to the space between Yelena’s shoulders. There was a lightness in her eyes and you smiled knowingly. 

Yelena’s serious tone was starting to sound a lot like your own. Another part of the perfect mix. 

‘Well, I win because I love you the most.’ Natasha replied playfully, letting any last remnants of sadness evaporate. In one quick movement, that had taken years of confidence for Natasha to do casually, she lifted Yelena up above her head, swinging her exaggeratedly back and forth until she started shrieking with laughter. 

Their matching grins looked like reflections of each other. It was right then, alone together in the hallway, that you realised Natasha’s faith in Yelena was just as absolute.

When she caught her breath, cheeks flushed from excitement. Yelena turned to you eagerly.

‘I need to have a doll of you for my birthday.’ She informed you. 

‘There is no doll of me.’ You commiserated teasingly as you all headed back to the living room together. Natasha’s hand slipped around your waist, just as her other one rested on Yelena’s shoulder.

‘Oh don’t worry.’ Natasha told you, a glint of mischief behind her reassuring smile. ‘We’ll make sure to find one.’

[thewertsearch]

TG: it like the tight end was going long down the yard in sudden death TG: its me im the tight end TG: and the quarterback sniped the fieldgoal just before the nfl buzzer went off TG: the greedy qb is you TT: That's not even close to being a thing in football. TG: but instead of winning the gold sports prize you just fucking die and nobody cares and it didnt mean anything

And this is just heartbreaking.

See, Dave’s natural tendency is to turn every conversation into a joke, and thus avoid any genuine display of emotion - but, right here and now, he's starting to do the opposite. He and Rose will slip into an extended Strider metaphor – and then Dave will slip back out again, pivoting back into the serious conversation.

Dave, for possibly the first time ever, is trying his absolute damnedest to stay sincere – because if he can’t make an authentic argument against Rose’s plan, his sister will die.

TG: the sport pile doesnt stop from getting taller TT: Does the officiator have a means of measurement on hand? TT: I wouldn't want to be crushed by a nonregulation sport pile. TG: what do you care youll be dead like the mission thieving poser you are TT: Poser? […] TG: yes poser it should be my torso getting pulverized by that avalanche of overpaid beefcakes and you know it

There he goes again! Dave is fighting his own instincts here, constantly forcing the pair back into a serious conversation. He’s that affected by Rose’s imminent fate.

As for Rose...

... on reflection, I think her attempt at psychoanalysis says a lot more about her mental state than it did about Dave's.

Despite her handle, Rose isn't an actual psychotherapist; she's a thirteen-year-old kid. In reality, she has no idea what's going on in Dave's head - so when she steered the conversation the way she did, she wasn't following any actual thread of psychological understanding. Some of her guesses might have been on the mark, but at the end of the day, she was just ad-libbing.

And while she was ad-libbing, she just happened to steer the conversation in a direction that supported her claim to the suicide mission.

This is Rose's own attempt to save her friend. She's desperately trying to convince Dave - and herself - that she's the one who needs to die.

TT: Were we pursuing the hackneyed debate over who has the best claim to self sacrifice, TT: Or seeing who can out-dumbass the other with obtuse sports lingo? TG: there obviously stopped being a difference between those things the question is offensive

Come on, Rose. If you check out early, this stupid, ridiculous, wonderful argument will be the last one you'll ever have with Dave Strider.

Are you really at peace with that?

[thursdayinspace]

So I rewatched "Our Town" last night and when I sat down at my laptop this morning to do something that was not writing, I ended up writing instead. These things happen. Just a silly fluffy-ish little thing because omg that ep is so gross and also Scully has to be getting sick of being abducted all the time. Mulder feels the same way.

She can’t sleep. It’s not every day you almost get beheaded—even after everything that she’s already been through this year, it seems there are still things that can shake her up pretty badly. She rolls over on the lumpy motel mattress and tries to get comfortable. For a glorious moment, she considers quitting. Handing Skinner her resignation and walking away, finding a nice job with regular hours where people won’t handcuff her to radiators, stick her in closets, contort their stretchy bodies through cracks in her bathroom window, or drive her around in the trunks of their cars before handing her over to aliens or the government or whatever theory Mulder’s going with right now. A job where she won’t spend the end of a work day strapped into a metal harness as a guy in a mask raises an ax above her head.

In her mind she pictures a simple life: a nice house with a yard, a dog greeting her as she opens the door and walks inside after a long day at the hospital…no, a private practice? A day of teaching? Whatever she’s been doing, she walks into a kitchen that smells like home-cooked dinner, leaning up to kiss her faceless husband who’s vaguely Mulder-shaped. “Honey, I’m home!” “Dinner’s almost ready! How was your day?” “Fine. Narrowly avoided decapitation. Nothing exciting.” Fuck. Not even fantasy-Scully can escape the absurdity of this life.

The knock on her door doesn’t even surprise her. She already knows who it is. He stopped waking her unless it’s something really important, so she groans and gets up, her bones aching, weeping inwardly as she makes her way to the door. So she can’t sleep; that doesn’t mean she wants to spend the night going over their case report or whatever that infuriatingly charming insomniac wants from her this time.

But when she opens the door, he doesn’t look as if he wants to go over case reports. He looks like shit. As much as that’s even possible for him. Another thing that’s simply unfair about her life, she thinks with a sigh. Even with bags under his eyes and pale as a sheet he still looks beautiful. “Mulder?” she says.

He doesn’t answer, just steps right into her and pulls her into a wordless hug, so tight she’s a little afraid he’ll crack her ribs. She hugs him back weakly and pats his back, not quite sure what else to do since she has no idea what the fuck he’s even doing. She expects him to pull back, but he just keeps holding on, and she’s genuinely having trouble breathing.

“Uh, Mulder?” she says again, a little louder.

“You’re okay,” he mumbles into her hair, and she wiggles in his arms, trying to loosen his grip.

“Not for much longer if you don’t let go.”

“Sorry.” He drops his arms and takes a step back, but keeps looking at her like he’s never seen her before. “Sorry, I just—”

“It’s fine,” she says. “Did you have a bad dream?”

He shakes his head. “I couldn’t sleep.”

“Yeah.” She grimaces. “Me neither. It’s been…a day.”

“Are you sure you’re okay?” he asks, and she laughs. She’s too tired not to.

“Thanks to your timely rescue, my head is still firmly attached to my body.” It sounds a little bitter, and she’s surprised at herself before she feels another little piece of her frustration clicking into place. Ah, yes, she thinks. There’s that too. Rescued once again. She makes a mental note: fantasy-Scully in her little imaginary suburban nine-to-five utopia will never have to be rescued. She’s gonna be the one doing all the rescuing. Except nobody needs to be rescued in that perfect little world, because nothing bad ever happens to anyone.

“You don’t sound okay,” Mulder says, and she closes her eyes for a second. She’s not annoyed with him, she reminds herself. It’s not his fault that she became part of these townsfolks’ dinner plans, and it’s not his fault that she needed him to keep that from happening.

“I’m just a little tired.”

“I’ll let you sleep.” He sounds exhausted and when she looks at him, she sees leftover fear in his eyes. “No more interruptions, I promise.”

Her hand reaches out for his before she’s fully conscious of what she’s doing. It’s just that he’s here and she’s had enough of being Agent Scully for tonight, and he really looks so much like Doctor Scully’s faceless dinner-cooking husband in her nice little fantasy home. “Come on,” she says.

“What are you—”

“Bed,” she explains, hoping he won’t ask any more questions.

“Oh. Okay.”

She gets in on her side and is relieved when he lies down next to her without another word. She closes her eyes, but she can feel him stock-still as a statue next to her, she can feel the tension radiating off of him, and, hell, it sounds like he’s even trying to breathe without making a sound. So she grabs his arm and rolls onto her side, tugging him with her until he has his back against her chest, and she holds firmly onto his hand and snuggles back into him.

“Scully?” he asks, sounding a little confused.

“Relax, Mulder,” she tells him. “Sleep.”

“Are you sure?”

“About sleeping?”

“You know what I mean.”

She laughs and squeezes his fingers. “No. Of course not. But honestly? I really don’t care right now.”

“Okay,” he says, and he gets it, she knew he’d get it. “Okay,” he repeats, and laces their fingers together. She feels him lift his head, feels his hot breath against the side of her face, and then a gentle kiss against the corner of her eye. “Good night, Scully.”

“Good night, Mulder.”

Behind her closed eyelids, fantasy Scully lies just like this with her faceless partner, who’s just as warm and smells just as good as real Scully’s friend-partner spooned up behind her. The only difference is that her own real Mulder is…well, real. No matter how perfect her beautiful little dream house with her beautiful perfect husband may be, she kind of prefers snuggling with someone who has a face and a name. And maybe she’d actually miss the mess.

Not all of it. Not the ax-swinging, homicidal maniacs or the lumpy motel mattresses. But a partner who knocks on her door in the middle of the night because he couldn’t sleep without making sure she was okay? Who sleeps wrapped around her with his breath ruffling the hair at the back of her neck, knowing this isn’t leading anywhere other than comfort and friendship? And…she kisses the backs of his fingers once she convinces herself he’s probably asleep…a vague hope that maybe this won’t always be all there is between them?

Yeah. She’ll take it.

[parfaitblogs]

winter wonderland ❀ s. reid x reader

in which it snows, you have a vision for a snowman, and spencer reid is all too easy to convince. 

pairing: spencer reid x fem!reader genre: fluff tags: established relationship. brat enabler!spencer reid!!! pathetic corny potentially tooth rotting fluff. they kiss a lot.  word count: 1k a/n: wrote this for margot because i mean she did request it… lol… brat enabler spencer reid is prevalent but i mean that's just the parfaitblogs' spencer reid on the reg…

❄︎ advent calendar masterlist

If Spencer Reid were ever to pursue a prosecuting career, he'd hope to God you are never his opposition. 

Too many of his firm personal rules held no weight when they challenged your own, and his ground almost always dissolves under his feet the second you disagree. 

Like going out in the snow. 

One minute he was appreciating the grey skies and white sheet covering the ground, and the next, he was pulling boots and winter clothes onto his body to cover up.

An argument that he so sorely lost, that began with you asking him to go out into the snow with him. 

His response had been, "No, there's still snow falling—" not really "—and it'll be freezing."

"That's what warm clothes are for!" 

And even if he wanted to back himself up and not give in, you were handing him a scarf and a sweater, regardless. Never mind the fact that you had already dressed up ready for the snow, looking warm and so pretty, and Spencer was but a man ridiculously in love with you. 

So, he let you drag him out to the snow without any more complaints. 

And you had agreed on a snowman. A simple, normal snowman with a carrot nose and pebbles for his buttons. The only compromise made was Spencer agreeing to you using his purple scarf to wrap around the snowman's neck, instead of a typical red one like he was imagining. 

Truth be told, making a snowman with you was proving to be very difficult. 

His first battle began with you refusing to wear mittens out of the house, claiming you needed the extra grip for the snow to make the perfect shapes. A fifteen minute dispute was what it took for you to reluctantly cover the skin of your hands. Even then, he caught you trying to remove the fabric from your fingers time and time again.

The second battle lay within the design of the snowman. You begging to make something fun, and Spencer reminding you of the agreement to make a normal snowman until you gave up. 

And yet, somewhere between the collection of the snow, rolling it into balls, and putting the snowman together, it developed from a regular shaped snowman, to one with ears strangely resembling a bunny. 

You had conned Spencer Reid, and made a bunny snowman. 

"How did this happen?" he mumbles, almost exasperated, as you grin proudly at the snow creation presented before him.

Mind you, he knew exactly how this happened. 

Your lips had found his in the short period of time between picking up the carrot and carrying it to put into the snowball head, and truly, he is unable to focus when you are that close to him. Which should not be held against him.

A gentle kiss that parted with the fog cloud of your two breaths mingling, the cold nipping at your lips, rendering him thoughtless and confused for half a second too long. That was when the carrot had disappeared. 

Then, as he was placing the pebbles over the lower half of the face for the snowman's smile, you had turned him around to face you, coaxing him in for another kiss that he — this time — had enough willpower to say no to. 

Your response was to shove a fistful of snow into the crook of his neck, encouraging a snow fight he had been trying to avoid this entire time. 

"You do know that smothering my neck and face in snow can cause frostbite. Or hypothermia. The cold can encourage heart attacks and—" You threw another snowball at him. 

"It's a snowball. It wont kill you."

Really, he should've picked up on your distraction techniques sooner. Usually, he did. You were easy enough to read once he had gotten to know you, and your antics were a regular enough occurrence that he could tell when you were in a specific mood. 

But still, you had deceived him, and he hadn't suspected a thing. 

"Do you like her?" you chirp from beside him, a large grin on your lips. 

"A snowman. We agreed on a regular snowman."

"It is a snowman," you protested, albeit weakly, staring at the crooked, bunny resembling pile of snow. "She's... unconventional."

"It's a bunny."

"But isn't she cute?" you press, staring up at him with widened eyes. "Say yes. Please say yes."

He huffs, his breath painting the cold air just past his lips. His resolve is seemingly incredibly easy to dissipate when you stare at him like that. "Yes. She's cute." 

You grin at his agreement, standing on your toes to peck his cheek. 

Though, he's quick to catch your waist and tug you closer, melting cold lips against your own. Out of shock and maybe too much glee, you laugh, and you feel him smile against your mouth. 

Fingers lift to your hair and thread through it, and you're grateful the two of you had decided to play with the snow in your backyard. You aren't sure if he'd kiss you like this out the front of your home. 

"Can we compromise and make another regular snowman?" you ask him, the second his lips part only a fraction from yours. 

He pauses, his eyes searching your face, inevitably for a hint of you trying to deceive him once more. Certain he finds none, he nods his head. "Yes. We can."

You happily smile back at him, your head turning to the side so you can look at your bunny snowman once again. "She's growing on you, though, right?"

"I guess," he turns his own head. "She kind of looks like you."

Your eyebrows furrow. "Oddly shaped and on a lean?"

"Cute," he clarifies with a laugh, locking eyes with you once more. "Be kinder to yourself."

"I am."

You're met with a pointed look, but he's an expert at picking his battles with you, for he sighs, then simply says, "Just start rolling more snow."

your reblogs and replies are always appreciated ♡

[tillsfan]

“hate is easier than a word as vague as love” cards analysis

seeing sua's card, i immediately got the impression of her putting up a facade. her keeping her mouth SHUT, and holding her throat. i feel this represents sua’s dishonesty towards mizi, her deliberately hiding the truth of alien stage, yet slowly losing her composure because she knows she can't hide the truth forever. she knew her death was coming, yet she continued to force stability.

i also view her covering her neck as her actively hiding the reality, since her neck was where she got shot. she actively hid the truth of death until the end, with her forced expression and hiding the crack. she's also sweating, showing guilt towards her own actions. but sua's selfish. so she continued with her facade to make mizi happy. her extensive blush compared to the others, her lack of tears, the severity of her cracks.. does this make sense. this whole card symbolizes both her dishonesty and her selfish nature

mizi's card is interesting. first of all, her crack is where sua's blood splattered on her. as sua died, she was still smiling, like it took her a second to process what was going on. you can tell she's suffering, she's literally holding herself together, yet she puts on a smile. i feel her card shows that she is processing things later than others, possibly continuing to avoid the reality of sua's death, because ignorance is all she knows. it's as if she's trying to remain positive, to remain that false light of hope, instead of grieving like a normal person. maybe not outwardly, because we know mizi was pretty closed off after sua’s death—but maybe she’s trying to convince herself. convince herself that she can save everyone, giving herself that false hope. sua's deciet did stunt mizi's growth after all.

mizi’s color scheme here is pink, and while it could be said that it’s just because it’s her signature color, i feel it’s something deeper. it can symbolize the “rose-tinted glasses” she had on, as her perception of anakt and alien stage was an idealized/perfected version. we know she never knew the reality of alien stage before it was forced to hit her like a truck. though, her eyes and tears are a very noticeable blue, which i perceive as the reality and grief finally seeping through her perfect world.

i am posting an individual mizisua analysis tomorrow. i want to delve deeper into them outside of just these cards.. so sorry that theirs is quite short

ivan's card is a great contrast to mizi's and sua's. ivan is very visually suffering, he's in severe distress. ivan's card represents his overflowing of inner emotions, as he kept them in all his life. he hid them, let them bubble up inside until they boiled over. we know ivan has learned to keep up a facade, hiding his true childish, selfish and intense nature. he kept his intense emotions for till hidden all his life, and when he was finally about to die, he went all out. his final actions were almost like he was venting, letting everything pour out at once because he never made them prevalent. he let out his affection and hatred he's held for till all his life in the span of a few seconds.

his color scheme is also pure red. colors in alien stage hold great meaning, and red is often associated with intensity and rebellion. the colors here can represent both his intense overwhelming emotions, and his hidden resentment towards till. you can also piece that together with his expression, he seems very clearly frustrated. all in all, ivan's card represents many things. how he hid his emotions until they became overwhelming, and his overall conflicting feelings towards till.

ivan's crack is also across his face, furthering the idea of him holding up a false persona. the hearts are pooling out from both ends, representing the burdening amount of emotion he's had to keep inside. he felt his emotions were different, shallow, therefore he chose to hold them in until it killed him. he's also actively holding himself together, showing the struggle he felt hiding himself.

the first most noticeable thing is the crack placement. his crack is where ivan has always touched him, ivan had a habit of caressing till's cheek, which was the most gentle gesture he ever gave. till is very clearly mourning ivan here, and was well aware of ivan's presence throughout his life. ivan was his stability, in a way. now that ivan isn't there to hold him, he's falling apart. it almost feels like a missed opportunity on till's end, his feelings finally being recognized only after ivan left him.

till's expression is very conflicting, his eyes being unevenly opened and his mouth tilting in difierent ways. this can represent how lost he feels without ivan. this could also represent how he doesn't know how to feel at ALL, seeing as how he had such a small amount of time to even grieve ivan's death, and how he never properly confronted his feelings towards ivan. he has shielded himself from the reality of ivan all his life. this can also be seen with how his hands are LITERALLY shielding his head. till's coping mechanism is avoidance, he deeply fears intimacy, so he chased after someone he knew he could never obtain (mizi). he avoided ever confronting how he truly felt about ivan, because if he did, he knew he had the chance of losing someone close to him again. but avoiding ivan's reality didn't change the fact they were really close. till cares. till cared so much that it led to his demise.

till's color scheme is blue, visualizing the deep sorrow engulfing till. throughout round 7, till was heavily distressed and upset, his feelings overpowering his ability to properly perform, leading to his loss. till does not know how to confront sadness, seeing as how he let it submerge him in round 6 as well. he's very mentally weak DUE to his avoidance + fear of vulnerability in both relationships and his own emotions. he never allowed himself to properly get close to anyone, he couldn't develop the mental strength needed to survive.

[softpascalito]

Dulcissima I Marcus Acacius x Vestal!Reader I Chapter VII - Bona Dea

! This Fic contains major spoilers for Gladiator II ! Proceed with caution !

Spoiler-Free Summary: Set before and during Gladiator II. General Acacius finds himself entranced by a highly valued priestess of Rome – A Vestal Virgin. Both have taken vows that make sure their paths may never cross. Until they do.

Pairing: Marcus Acacius x Vestal Virgin Reader Rating: Explicit / MDNI Word count: 18k+ Tags: Secret Relationship, Vestal Virgins, Religious Guilt, Gladiator fights, Gladiator II compliant (more or less), Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Ancient Rome, Age Difference, Slow Burn (ish), Injury, Kissing, Historical Inaccuracy, (Attempted) Sexual Harassment, Smut, First Time, More tags to be added

AO3 // Series Masterlist // Masterlist // Fic Playlist

notes: ! last major spoiler warning for gladiator II below the cut !

i was supposed to upload this two days ago but silly me decided to have a mental breakdown instead. anyways, enjoy the new chapter ♡

bona dea - a goddess/her festival subligaculum - underwear

Chapter VII

The house is filled with the overpowering scent of strong wine and blooming flowers. Food and drink is being served, the atrium of the roman villa that belongs to the senior magistrate and his wife transformed into a place of worship as much as a place to celebrate.

The annual winter festival of Bona Dea, one of the most important (and as some argue, fun) nights of the year for the women of Rome. A tribute to the goddess that promises fertility along with chastity and healing, in return asking for her worshippers to hold the values of a good, roman wife. Her celebrations allow strong wine and sacrifices led by the Vestals and most importantly–ban all men from the villa and its grounds. Just laying eyes upon the holy celebration and the rites would be enough to condemn a man to a life of blindness.

It is so different from the worship you are used to from Vesta. She is quiet, a prayer whispered into the flames, the crackling noise of the wood, the only company for women who ask for safety and blessing on lonely nights.

You have barely been able to eat, despite the food seeming worthy of the gods. Bona Dea has always made you nervous, the prospect of trying to effortlessly fulfill the rituals that have been passed down from generations of women before you. But the prospect of meeting Acacius in mere hours had you trembling the moment you rose from your bed this morning. The hours seemed to tick by agonizingly slowly all day, making you wonder if the sun would ever set.

But it did. And with the early darkness of the winter night came the loss of appetite. And the later it becomes, the worse you feel. The comfortable anticipation starts mixing with an anxiety you’ve rarely felt before. Nothing can go wrong.

Of course, something goes wrong. When you reach the large front entrance of the atrium, the one you hoped to slip out of unnoticed after fulfilling your duties, is far too busy. The columns are decorated with skillfully woven vines, the entire room alight with candles and torches. A thin layer of smoke still hangs in the air from the rituals you conducted earlier, making the space feel even more sacred.

You settle on making another round, speaking some words here and there, disappearing into a crowd that has evidently already enjoyed the strong wine forbidden to them on other occasions. You catch a glimpse of Severa chatting animatedly with a few other women and duck away just in time to avoid attracting their attention.

It is already late, far later than you meant to leave. You know Acacius will be waiting. He has no rites to attend to tonight. Instead, he will be able to casually stroll out into his–

The gardens. Just like the other houses, there are spacious gardens attached to the villa you are currently trailing through. There has to be a way to slip out into that direction and get up Palatine Hill, which is rather close. Pretending to long for some fresh air, you step into the lush green, plants and trees imported from places where they do not wither in the winter. They lend themselves to your cause perfectly, barely allowing the guests inside to catch a glimpse of your white stola as you tread the small paths, the light around you becoming less and less. You slip past a few trees, fight your way through bushes–and are met with solid stone. Of course. A wall to keep out everyone who tries to sneak into the gardens. Or in your case, sneak out of them.

Your heart is pounding in your chest. Heading back inside, finding another way–it will take too long. He could be gone by then. With a small shake of your head, you step forward and let your hands run over the cold stone. The moon is hiding behind clouds, giving you essentially no light to work with. Still, you somehow manage to find two crevices to tuck your fingers into and pull yourself up. Panting slightly once you've heaved yourself up onto the stone wall, you look back for a brief moment, catching a glimpse of the lit up villa through the trees, listening to the voices and music drifting over to you.

Suddenly, it feels like you're looking down upon your whole life, like you are seeing yourself from the perspective of the gods you so worship. You try and think of something to hold you back, any excuse to just jump back into the gardens and have no one ever be the wiser about the ideas in your head. You think about the dishonor you may bring to the Vestals, to your family. To him. The punishment they would settle on. The whispers that would follow you, even after death.

You try and think of a good reason to stay. But not a thought comes to mind.

So, you jump down on the side that leads further down the path and up to the house with the lavender gardens, a path you do not wish to leave now that you’ve started walking it. Even if it leads straight down to hell.

***

Acacius sighs quietly as he gets up from the bench he sat down on what feels like hours ago. His mind is as restless as his body, his head spinning a different direction every time the wind carries the sound of what could be someone sneaking toward him through the night. The statue of Mars stands quietly next to him as he begins to pace back and forth, eventually expanding his rounds onto the stairs. Up. Down. Have you changed your mind? Back. Forth. An invisible tug of war with the thoughts racing through his head.

The small pavilion is lit by only a few candles, providing just enough light to see but not enough to shimmer too far through the trees. On Bona Dea, the whole town below is alight with the celebrations of the women. Song, Chatter and Light travelling through the night air, distractions that lay like a shroud around your meeting. A protection not unlike your veil. An indication that what lays below is not to be touched–an indication he so desperately longs to ignore.

It's not any sound that makes him turn his head. It is an instinct that he cannot name that has him turn towards the path below. And there you are. Looking almost like a ghost, dressed in a festive, white stola that swishes around your body as you hurry the last few steps, the top of your head crowned by the very veil he just saw in his mind. And he suddenly feels like he cannot wait a second longer.

Acacius meets you halfway up the stairs, his arms sliding around your waist like they belong there. Like a child resting its head in their mothers lap, like a soldier returning to his village after the war. Like the most natural homecoming, a nestling of a body against that of its lover.

“Acacius–” You whisper his name, a relief that it can finally fall from your lips again. “I’m sorry for making you wait.”

He hums quietly, his thumb rubbing gentle circles into your side. “I would wait all night for you, Dulcissima.” He cannot see the blush that spreads over your cheeks but he can hear it in the small breath that escapes you. “May I?”

Keeping one arm firm around your waist, he leads you up the stairs, towards Mars who stares into the distance. Unlike the stone eyes of the statue that are forced to stare at one point on the horizon for eternity, Acacius’s eyes never leave you. Even when he leans down to the small tray he brought along earlier, grabbing a glass filled with red wine and handing it to you, he keeps his focus on you. You barely get to whisper a thank you before a frown spreads over his face. “What happened to your dress?”

“I had to climb the garden wall,” you mutter sheepishly, embarrassed that your original plan has so clearly gone awry. He watches as you take a sip of the wine before you continue. “I will clean it in the morning, it is not worth speaking of.”

Acacius doesn't agree. It feels like another thing he's making you do. A visual representation of the way he is soiling you, tainting your beautiful white gown with reminiscents of the dirt and grime that stains his armour after returning from battle. “It is my turn for apologies. You should not have to–”

He is shut up by your lips coming to rest on his. He can taste the red wine he picked out for tonight and by the gods, he does not think there is anything he likes more. Picking out what you taste like for him.

There is a small tremor in your body, an insecurity that he immediately recognizes as inexperience. He sighs into the kiss at that, his taunt muscles finally relaxing as he blindly reaches behind himself, finding the stone bench and lowering both of you onto it, never breaking your kiss. Sweet. You just taste so sweet.

He allows you to dictate the pace, only pulling back when you do, your breath coming in short pants. His forehead rests against yours as he reaches down to take his own glass, nudging you until you toast him, glass against glass creating a light melody that fades as quickly as it has appeared. You both drink in silence, only the distant noises of the celebrations and those of the garden around you reaching your ears. 

“May I ask you something?” He hums, his voice low in his throat as he watches you raise your wine to your lips, the flames of the candles reflecting in the glass and liquid, sending smooth shadows over your face. At your nod, he continues. “Why did you ask to meet tonight? Bona Dea must mean a lot to you.”

You smile softly, though there is still a hint of nervousness present in your eyes. “The gods are busy looking down onto the feasts.” It is the unspoken part of your response that makes Acacius feel almost light-headed. If the goddesses eyes are truly on the feasts happening in the city, they are too busy to see you under the cover of darkness. One of his hands is still supporting your waist and he uses the other to set his glass down again before coming up to caress your ankle. A sliver of skin pokes out from under your stola, giving him a taste of what is waiting below the linen and silk that you are wrapped in. He feels you lean in, a hand gently coming to rest on his shoulder for support as he maneuvers you onto his left leg. In one smooth motion, Acacius runs his calloused hand past the hem of your stola and up your calf. You shiver, shifting slightly. “Acacius–”

It's somewhere between a whisper and a begging command. He forces himself to pause, his hand resting on your knee, the fabric of your dress bunched up around his forearm. “Do you want me to stop?” You shake your head silently. And he decides that maybe, he can push a bit further. “Is this why you wanted to meet?”

He can practically see you pause, your eyes flickering nervously back and forth. He may be completely wrong. It may not even have occurred to you–this. That you could do this. Because technically, you can’t.

“Maybe,” you whisper and he smiles at the subtle hint in your tone that sounds less like a maybe and more like a yes. And he'd be lying if he said he didn't have the same train of thought. He just didn't expect you to want him like this. Hell, he barely expected you to show up. Not with how much you are both risking.

“I’m sure you know–” you whisper as his hand travels further, slowly but surely inching up your thigh. “That Vestals are sworn to celibacy.”

He gives as gentle a squeeze as he can, watching with a smirk as you bite your lip, stopping yourself from letting out a noise. God, how he wants to hear that noise. How he wants all of Rome to hear the noise, wants to hear his name fall from your lips as he gives you the pleasure you've been denied your entire life.

“There are other ways,” he muses, his thumb trailing over the edge of what he assumes to be a subligaculum covering your most private area. “Other ways of pleasure.” He cocks an eyebrow at you, his hand gently rubbing over the soft skin of your inner thigh, not quite crossing the invisible threshold yet. “Dont tell me you have not discovered any of them?”

This time, he can watch as the blush spreads over your cheeks and down toward your throat. His gaze softens slightly. “You do not have to tell me, if you do not wish to.” Acacius sighs quietly, his eyes watchful, trying to gauge if he's gone too far. If he should retreat. “Does this feel good? We do not have to–” He can feel himself stumbling over his words. “I do not wish to force myself upon you. We do not have to do anything if you are not ready.”

“What if I'm never ready?” You whisper before you can stop yourself, resting your head against his shoulder and he tuts as he looks down at you.

“Then we will never do anything.”

“Go on.” It is a whispered plea. And Acacius gently obliges. He knows how to give commands that demand to be followed. But he also knows how to take them.

His fingers sneak under the delicate cloth that forms your underwear, his index finger finding the space between your legs already deliciously wet. He can feel himself getting hard at just this. The thought that merely sitting on his lap, kissing him, feeling his hands on your leg, is enough to arouse you to this point. He swipes his thick index fingers through your folds, making you clutch onto his shoulder and whimper in surprise. A low chuckle leaves his lips as he stills his hand again, not wanting to overstimulate you right away. He is keeping that trick up his sleeve for later.

“Your body does not know of your vows, dulcissima,” he rasps, his beard scratching against your skin as he places soft kisses against your neck. He feels you shiver and while he is sure some of it can be attributed to the excitement, he has a feeling the cold is also doing its part. He has a sudden urge to pick you up and carry you inside. If you truly want him to see you, to bare yourself before him–the first man to ever touch you like this–it cannot be on a cold stone bench.

“Let me take you inside.”

(art by art by Gökberk Kaya)

notes: okay, i know, i know, bad moment to stop. i promise the next chapter is in the works! ♡

[unhinged-summer-fun]

edāx (oshamir)

edāx (Latin) greedy, gluttonous, voracious, devourer.

Rating: Explicit (22+)

Pairing: Osha Aniseya x The Stranger "Qimir"

Summary: Osha goes out with Fillik after all, and makes the acquaintance of a dangerous man — if he is a man at all.

Warnings: Vampire AU and all that entails, sexual content. 11k word count deserves a warning.

A/N: This is my gift for @tourmaline-dream for the Oshamir Holiday Gift Exchange 2024! I hope you like ittttt~ And many thanks to @starlightafterastorm for betaing this fic <3

“Would you quit looking at him?” Fillik hissed across the table. Their section of the cantina was loud enough that he didn’t have to whisper, but the quieter reprimand got the point across better than if he’d spoken regularly or even if he’d shouted it. None of the other nearby diners seemed to notice them—but that wasn’t unusual in this end of the galaxy.

Osha returned to herself, snapping from her reverie as if Fillik had poured his fussy little mixed drink on her head. The breath Osha took was ragged, like she’d been holding her breath—or forgotten how to breathe entirely. She avoided responding to the remark, this time gazing in the opposite direction of the man who’d caught her attention.

Her restraint lasted for all of three seconds before she peeked back at the shadier side of the dining area, catching a glimpse of dark hair, pale skin, eyes that glinted crimson—

“Osha,” Fillik said at a normal volume, flapping a sticky menu in her periphery to act as blinders. “You have the subtleness of a bantha, my friend. At least get up and talk to him instead of just gawking.”

“What are you talking about?” she said, breathing out in a slow, controlled exhale that did nothing to calm her nerves. Stars, but that man had rattled her from across the room.

“You’re going to have no chance at picking that guy up if you just stare at him like—”

“Like what?”

“Like he’s going to eat you or something.”

She rolled her eyes and sipped her drink, shaking her head at her friend. “I’m not here to pick anybody up, Fil.” Osha slapped at the flimsi he held up as a privacy barrier. Despite her protests, she checked again.

The man was gone.

Disappointment filled her chest, heavy and cold. The feeling sharply shifted to tension, hairs standing on end when—

“Hello.”

A deep voice, smooth as whiskey and dark as night, cut through all her thoughts with exacting precision. Her mouth went dry despite the taste of her drink still on her tongue, and she turned to look up at the person next to her, up and up and—

Dark hair with eyes to match, pale skin with teeth to match, bared in a half-smile that made some primal side of her soul shiver. Up close, the stranger looked even more fascinating, all cheekbones, lips, and jaw that would have looked ridiculous on any other face—but he wore his features comfortably, not an ounce of insecurity hidden on his person. She only caught a glimpse of his teeth before the smile grew closed-lipped, but she swore she saw something predatory around his canine teeth: too long, that primal soul said. Too sharp. Too dangerous.

But Osha had never let that little voice stop her before. She was a meknek, for fuck’s sake. She took strolls through space and risked her life every other day to distract her from the nightmarish silence of space.

“Hello,” Osha said, feeling a little silly. The stranger’s brown eyes sparkled with amusement.

“Hi,” he said, and damn, there was that flash of a tooth again. It caught her breath, but not before she made an even greater fool of herself.

“Hi.”

Silence rolled in like the tide, awkwardness threatening to overtake their meeting.

“Please join us,” Fillik said, breaking the silence. When he caught her eye, he raised his eyebrows and gave her a look that probably meant, don’t be weird and act like a normal person.

The man slid gracefully into the seat beside Osha, and from this close, she caught a glimpse of long, dark eyelashes. It may have been the harsh lighting of the spaceport’s refectory, but he seemed almost sickly pale were it not for the grace of his movements that spoke to his relatively good health. Fillik cleared his throat, pulling her head out of the nebulae and back to solid ground.

“Um.”

This was going great.

“What’s your name?” the stranger murmured, lips moving only as much as necessary to communicate. It made her lean in, as magnetized to him as her boots were to the outer hulls of starships.

“Osha,” she whispered, even softer than he’d spoken. An amused expression crossed his face, one eyebrow raising so naturally she almost didn’t notice it. She said again, louder, “I’m Osha. This is Fillik.”

Her friend didn’t seem too convinced of her normal person act, but he stifled his teasing in favor of taking on the role of a wingman. “We’re mekneks.”

The stranger hadn’t looked away from Osha once. “How daring,” he commented, the other eyebrow joining the first before his expression relaxed.

Osha’s small-talk abilities fizzled like a dying candle when the stranger didn’t offer his name or profession. “You don’t have a drink,” she said bluntly.

Fillik looked like he wanted to run headfirst into the nearest wall as hard as possible.

But the stranger wasn’t repelled by her awkwardness. The corners of his lips inched upward, and his eyes finally strayed from hers, dipping downward but not scandalously so. No, his eyes seemed more focused on her collarbone, tracing the delicate line of it back and forth with so much intensity it was almost a caress.

“I don’t drink all that much,” he said, still smiling softly, secrets galore held behind his lips.

“A cantina’s kind of a weird place to be, then,” Osha said. She heard Fillik suck in a breath, almost wincing at her observation.

“I was looking for a bite,” he shrugged. “Something smelled good over here.”

For the briefest moment, as his mouth wrapped around the word bite, Osha could have sworn she saw that impossible glint of too-sharp, too-long, dangerous teeth again. But at his affable, easygoing shrug, she stifled that instinctual urge to flee. Heart racing, she didn’t know what to do or say besides sit there and breathe.

“Oh, a menu.”

The stranger reached across the table, his hand glancing over Osha’s wrist. She flinched at the sharp, biting cold of his skin when it brushed hers. It reminded her of the frost that collected on her exo-suit after a long shift. After those shifts, when she stepped into the tepid spray of a shower, her body reacted to the warmth as if it were open flames. She wondered what her skin felt like to him, and watched his expression carefully. He must have felt something when he touched her, but his expression gave nothing away.

“Do you recommend anything?” the stranger asked, acknowledging Fillik. A brief thrill of satisfaction raced through Osha as Fillik straightened up beneath the stranger’s piercing, dark stare.

“What’d you see that smelled good?” he managed to stammer.

The stranger’s eyes flicked to Osha briefly—so briefly that she had to write off the red glint that reflected from behind his irises. Stars, but something about that was familiar. Her poleaxed expression gave way to outright curiosity, but on Osha’s face, it looked more like a glare.

Fillik and the stranger exchanged words, agreeing on what to order. Osha observed the stranger with blatant curiosity. She wasn’t used to this whole flirting thing, as much as Fillik tried to convince her otherwise. Yet, without a single word, she’d seemed to snare this gorgeous man’s attention from across a crowded room. To Osha’s surprise, Fillik rose from the table to get the order—“I wanted to get another round anyway. Be right back.”

She’d never seen him walk so fast.

This left her alone with the stranger, who turned to her as he’d done before. Now that she thought about it, he’d never not been facing her. Even when he spoke to Fillik, he’d only turned his head a little. His entire body seemed trained on her, and she didn’t know what to do with that kind of attention.

“Osha,” he said, drawing her name out like a song and ending it on an almost-whisper. The curling smile on his lips made her wonder if he was addressing her or testing out the feel of her name on his tongue. “Do you like being a meknek?”

Startled by the question, she answered honestly. “I like being paid for it.”

This shocked a laugh out of him—throaty, deep, and warm. With his head tilted back, she got a full view of his teeth, and there was no denying it now.

Those were fangs.

But she’d been a meknek for six years now and seen all kinds of species from all sorts of places. Plenty of species have fangs, she reasoned. Carnivorous species, her instincts added. And how many of them look like humans?

Just one, she thought.

She bit back the question that threatened to spill out of her mouth, content with just watching him enjoy himself, even if she was what amused him so. In all honesty, his laugh and the sight of those fangs made a coil of desire tighten in her gut so quickly that it almost stole her breath. “What’s so funny?” she asked once she regained her composure.

“You,” he said, leaning an elbow on the table and resting his head on his fist. He no longer hid his teeth behind a smile; he grinned widely, showing off the lethal points of his canine teeth. She knew, evolutionarily, that a smile was meant to set people at ease, promising good intentions. On him, however, his smile seemed to promise something far more primal and bloody. “Most would lie or, at the very least, give a neutral answer. You, however, seem to have no problem being honest with a stranger.”

“How do you know I’m not lying? That I’m not harboring a deep passion for thrill-seeking and advanced mechanics?”

His head tilted to the side, eyes sliding back to her collarbones and back up again. She gripped her drink to keep herself from shivering. “I’d know if you were lying,” he said.

“How? Are you—” That damn word stuck in her mouth. Jedi. Even now, the memory still pained her. She shoved it away.

The stranger was kind enough not to make her finish her thought. “Your heartbeat,” he explained. “For many people, especially humans, their heart races when they lie.”

Something about how he phrased it struck a nerve, like an old memory was stirring, vying for her attention.

Just one.

His hand reached out, but he didn’t touch her. His hands were so cold, Osha could feel it from where they hovered just over her skin, just above her pulse. He didn’t need to touch her to know her heart had skipped a beat. Osha got the feeling he was more than aware of her heartbeat, even without reaching out to her.

He continued, “Some humans can fool themselves with their lies, making it harder to tell when they aren’t telling the truth.” Those ice-cold fingertips trailed over her neck, still hovering above her skin. Across her collarbone before he returned his hand to where it rested on the table.

“Then how do you tell if they’re lying?”

“It’s in their eyes.”

She looked up at him again, unaware of her wandering gaze. That crimson glint returned, strengthening and blooming behind his brown irises. In just a few heartbeats, the rich color overtook it entirely. At a glance, his eyes wouldn’t have been anything but dark, but up close like this, they were near-luminous in the way a predator’s eyes would be, lit up from the darkness.

That familiar feeling returned, this time with a name.

“You’re a vampire,” she whispered.

His head tilted back to center, and his face gave nothing away. “Does that scare you?” he asked. She caught no hint of threat or menace in his voice, just open curiosity. It was probably a deliberate choice.

“I don’t think it does,” she said with a breathy laugh. She didn’t sit back, but she didn’t rock forward either—as much as she wanted to.

“You aren’t sure if you’re scared of me?” he said, letting a trickle of amusement back into his tone.

“You say that like you want the answer to be yes,” she countered. She had no idea where this bravery and boldness came from.

“Yes or no, it doesn’t matter,” he shrugged, a mask of indifference settling in over his features.

“It does, though,” Osha insisted.

His eyes sharpened on her, flashing as red as the neon sign some twenty feet behind him. “Then answer the question, Osha. Are you scared of me?”

Her mothers had taught her about all manner of things before they died. Her and Mae’s training with the Thread had only been part of it; although they grew up sheltered, they had not grown up ignorant of the ways of the galaxy.

There are others, Mother Aniseya instructed, who are powerful and feared and hunted, like us. Those who seek power from the night, like us. Those whose power is a right by blood.

Should we fear them too? Mae asked then, inquisitive and eager.

You should fear nothing, my girls, their mother had answered with a smile. When the fearsome things that walk the darkness brush against each other, you will know them, and they will know you. You will not be afraid. The monsters who hide within the sunshine are the ones to be wary of.

She hadn’t explained what that meant at the time, nor could she now, but the look she’d given Osha felt full of meaning that only seemed to make sense at this very second.

“I’m not scared of you,” Osha said, realizing almost after the fact that she was telling the whole truth of it. Her heart still raced; would he think she was lying? The look he gave her was still indecipherable.

Objectively, she knew her mother’s guidance was meant to cultivate a child’s curiosity and encourage open-mindedness but not recklessness. After her death, the Jedi had impressed upon her just the opposite: a deep sense of caution and suspicion toward others. They also stifled her inquisitive nature. Questioning the masters at the Jedi Temple always ended in reprimand. Curious adventures into the restricted section of the Archives resulted in punishments. Her attachment and investment in the family she lost ultimately led to her expulsion from the Order. But six years had passed since, and she’d more than shaken off the rust from a decade’s worth of stifled instincts. That old recklessness had returned. 

If playing with fire would burn her, at least she’d die warm.

“Was that not the answer you wanted?” she asked dryly, draining the rest of her drink while she waited for an answer.

His eyes fixated on her throat as she swallowed, giving the gaze a different connotation, but one that didn’t evoke fear—at least not in her. The vampire leaned back, his face still an inscrutable mask. He couldn’t hide his eyes from her, however. The turbulent clouds of red in his irises churned like a maelstrom in a sea of blood.

Maybe she wouldn’t burn. Maybe she’d drown by the end of this.

“I think I like your answer,” he said, allowing half a smirk.

“You only think you like it?” Osha challenged.

He gave her the rest of his smirk. “Well met, Osha.”

They stared at one another for a while, letting silence fall between them even as the crowded cantina chattered away, oblivious to what was happening. She felt a static build-up in those few inches between them—between his hand and hers, where they rested on the table. As a meknek, she was trained to be cautious of electrostatic energy. (As a human, she was taught to be cautious of any creature that wanted her blood.)

“Why did you come over here?” Osha asked.

“Why were you looking at me?” he parried.

“I asked you first.”

“I’m sure they have the same answer,” he said with another sharp grin.

Because you intrigued me. Because I wanted to know more about you. Because I felt like there was no other choice but you.

Osha dropped the matter, running her fingers along the rim of her glass. She wished Fillik would return; she was so damned awkward around strangers—

He spoke so softly that she almost didn’t catch it. “You can call me Qimir.”

A new expression had replaced the intentionally blank face he had before. Now, he looked softer around the edges, more welcoming and trustworthy. Harmless with a touch of the uncanny, but not so much as the wolf-in-sheep’s-clothing smiles he’d given before. How much of this look was real? Was this another ploy to get her guard down? Was he still trying to scare her?

Osha swallowed down her unease, remembering her mother’s advice. You will not be afraid.

So she met his eyes. “It’s nice to meet you, Qimir.”

His eyes crinkled up in the corners as he smiled this time, and a pulse of truth came to her in such a way that she hadn’t felt since... Since…

He wasn’t only a vampire. But the answer of what else he was seemed well out of reach.

This thrilled her even more, but some mysteries were more fun left unsolved—for now. “When you said you were looking for a bite…”

His features took on a boyish tint, teasing and playful. “I wasn’t lying,” he said. “Man’s gotta eat.”

“That he does,” she murmured, allowing herself to look at the rest of him.

His clothes were baggy and misshapen, hanging off of him in a way that hid the powerful, muscular body beneath. From this close (and the brief look she’d gotten of his forearms), he was like a coiled snake, strength radiating off of him in a way that no amount of baggy clothes could hide. Added to how he towered over her just a few minutes ago, he gave off an aura that felt genuinely intimidating. She was confident that if she stood beside him, he would seem even more imposing than before. He’d moved so silently, too; there was no outrunning him.

She pictured him and her in some dark nook of the spaceport, bathed in shadows and intertwined. His mouth at her neck, his hands wherever they wanted to be, her legs around his middle as he drank and fed—

He sucked in a sharp breath, and exhaled in a quiet groan. The noise was so deep that she could feel it in her fingertips. His expression had shifted again, the crimson in his eyes whipping around near-violently. “What?” she asked.

“What are you thinking about right now?” he asked, his voice rough and deep.

“I’m—” Osha’s face flared with heat, and she prepared to lie. But she felt that rush of blood in her ears, her heart rate kicking up—

He smirked, realizing her intent before she did.

“Nothing,” she said, just to cover her ass.

“Liar,” he smirked, one hint of fang flashing from his lips.

The sight, the reminder, brought her imagination to new heights, picturing those fangs sinking into a vein, those lush lips sealing around her skin and sucking, drawing her blood into his mouth—

“Osha,” he rasped, his voice nearly a growl. His hands flexed, and his skin was so pale that even the whites of his knuckles didn’t show. “You don’t want to play this game with me.”

“Why not?” she asked, cursing the breathy quality of her voice.

To anyone else, he would have looked relaxed. To her, she knew his composure was in tatters, that whatever control he had was fraying by the second. A brief flash of concern, of desperation, gusted through his eyes. “I am… perhaps not as well-fed as I should be.” He couldn’t meet her eyes, focusing now on her neck and collarbone.

Her heart did flips in her chest, and her recklessness reached new heights. “Does it… hurt?”

“Does what hurt?” he asked.

The hunger? The restraint? She should have said those things, but they weren’t what she told him. “The bite. Feeding.”

He sucked in a breath, held it. He’d gone so still she almost thought he’d expired right there at the table. Stars, this situation escalated quickly.

“Yes and no.”

“How—”

“In that order.”

“Oh.” Osha blinked. Yes, the bite would hurt. She’d expected so; wounds of any kind were bound to hurt, even ones you were prepared for. But feeding? The act of drinking from another… didn’t hurt? “What do you mean?” she asked, leaning in.

The crimson in his eyes settled into slow, lazy swirls. “I don’t know how it is for others, but I can make it feel like anything you want. Pain. Numbness. Pressure. Pleasure.” He said this last part with his eyes heavily hooded, desire plain on his face. “How would you like it, Osha?”

Osha had no idea what to say to him. She was, of course, curious about exactly what he meant, but some measure of caution still held her back, cold and frowning.

“Would anything happen to me?” she said, avoiding the question.

“You mean, would you turn?” he asked, a husky chuckle following. “No. Vampires are, for the most part, born—or so I know.”

“What do you mean?” she said again, frowning.

“I wasn’t raised around others of my kind. The ones who raised me, they…” A brief flare of some hot emotion gusted through his aura—something like anger. It dissipated as quickly as it came, leaving her confused and a little wary. “They didn’t know what to do with me. I’ve had to learn as I go.”

A pang of sympathy rattled her bones. Osha knew what that was like. The Jedi her age were already well-versed in topics and routines she was unfamiliar with, and it left her feeling more than a little like an outsider to them. And when the Order cast her out? She had to do it all over again, learning to be a meknek to survive.

“So, no,” he said, drawing her attention back. “Nothing would happen to you, bar perhaps symptoms of minor blood loss… among other things.”

“Other things?” she said.

He grinned, fangs out. “Fun things.”

“I don’t know if I should trust your definition of fun, Qimir,” she said, picking up her glass and sighing when she realized it was empty.

He’d frozen in place, and it took her a second to notice. She was about to ask what was wrong when he said, “I like how you say my name. More than is probably appropriate.”

She was going to pass out if her heart kept racing like this. Osha was once again speechless in the face of his brazen want, unfamiliar with the script or steps to follow here. She chewed her lip, and his eyes flicked to the gesture. The heat in her lower half only increased until she felt like she needed to squeeze her thighs together to grab some measure of composure. But that felt like a lifeboat drifting away in a stormy sea. She was going to drown in him, sooner or later.

“I…”

“Yes?”

“How badly do you need to feed?” she asked, the words slipping out almost by accident.

“Very badly,” he said simply. “Why do you ask?”

He was playing with her; he knew exactly why she was asking and was going to make her say it. The rush of embarrassment bloomed right from her cheeks, heating her entire body this time as she fought the shyness stilling her tongue. “Because I…” she swallowed. “I’m curious what it’s like.” There. Safer ground. “And a man’s gotta eat, like you said. Seems we can help each other out.”

He smirked at her but didn’t call her out. His eyes sparkled just the same as they’d done the last time she avoided the truth with him. Liar, his voice echoed in her head. The real answer—that she wanted him as desperately as he seemed to want her—refused to be spoken aloud.

“I don’t think your friend will approve,” he teased.

Oh right. Fillik.

She looked over his shoulder at the bar beyond, where Fillik sat beside someone draped in glowing green fabric. As if sensing her attention, Fillik looked over and made the hand signal for are you okay? They only ever used the code when their communicators shorted out while on jobs, but it worked well here.

Osha signed back, okay. Then, after a moment, she signed, see you later.

Fillik’s grin and double thumbs-up needed no translation.

If only he knew just what Osha was walking away with.

“Fillik’s fine,” Osha said, looking back at Qimir. He seemed oddly… charmed by the exchange. 

But his demeanor changed the moment she gave her answer, eyes darkening and going a little wild. She could have sworn the crimson in his irises had bled into the whites of his eyes, but the moment passed after a beat. “Then I think we should find somewhere more private, don’t you think?”

Her heart thumped heavily in her chest, the thrill of danger sparking her senses in a way no meknek job ever would, in a way the Jedi never could. Qimir stood, offering his hand to her. She took it, marveling at the coolness of his skin touching hers. He did not let go as he led her from the cantina.

They didn’t go far, but the sharp twists and turns down the side passages of the spaceport left Osha feeling a little disoriented. When they stopped, she caught sight of a familiar landmark and a sign that would lead her back to her ship when they were finished. He pulled her into a small micro-hotel, but it didn’t look as seedy as the ones she’d seen on-world.

Apparently, he already had a room because they bypassed the reception droid entirely and went to the back. The lights were down-lit around their ankles, making him seem even more dark and imposing than he already was. When he looked at her over his shoulder, his eyes pulsed with a glow that reminded her of sunsets… and lightsabers. It stole her breath.

Then they were in a room. Alone. With no crowd to drown the silence. Just her slightly uneven breathing—and his notable lack thereof.

“You don’t breathe?” she blurted out, trepidation making the words a little louder than she intended. She winced.

Qimir let go of her hand and sat on the bed, letting his hands hang between his knees. Making himself smaller, she observed. Non-threatening. “If I didn’t breathe, I couldn’t speak,” he said, his voice coming a little higher—another tactic to draw in unsuspecting prey or to calm the suspicious. “And I do have a pulse, despite all evidence to the contrary.” He gestured at himself, most likely referring to his cold, pale skin.

“Oh,” Osha said, laughing a little.

He caught her nervousness like one might catch a butterfly from the air. “You don’t have to stay if you don’t want to. You can back out at any time.”

“No, it’s not—okay, it’s a—I’m a little nervous,” she admitted.

He rose to his feet, closing the distance between them. “I’m not so close to the edge that I can’t control myself, Osha,” he murmured, reaching up to tuck a loc of her hair behind her ear. His eyes were everywhere, dancing their phantom touch everywhere from her face to her chest in just a heartbeat. “I know what I am. You know what I am.”

“I do,” she whispered. “And I want this.”

“I think you just need the tension broken,” he said, a teasing smirk on his features. “May I?”

She had no idea what that meant, but she discovered the answer immediately when she nodded. He descended on her, and she held her breath, expecting pain—

But she got a kiss instead. His lips were soft, and though they were cold, they weren’t unpleasant. Her mind unwound itself from the tangled, anxious knot it’d been trapped in. His hands settled on her—one at the nape of her neck, the other resting on her hip. She realized that oh, she should probably be kissing him back, and moved, reaching for him just as he deepened the kiss.

A soft noise escaped her throat when he squeezed her hip, walking her back until her shoulders met the door. He didn’t pin her, per se, but the intent was clear: he’d trapped her. And she’d let him, gladly.

“Are you feeling better?” he asked, ending his question on a slight nip of her lower lip. It thrilled her, that reminder of why they were there, of what was coming.

She nodded, feeling much more settled in her skin, even though her heart was still racing. “Um, do I—?” She began to tilt her head to the side for him, but his fingers tightened against the back of her head, stilling her.

“That’s a bit… intense for your first go,” he said, sounding almost awkward about it.

“But I want—” She cut herself off, shame flaring through her veins.

He waited for her to finish her thought, but the bravery couldn’t break through to her again. “You want to know what it’s like?” he inferred. She nearly slumped in relief, nodding. Stars, but he knew just what she needed, and Osha had no idea how much she needed that kind of intuition in a partner until now.

Qimir pressed a kiss over her pulse, which ratcheted up the speed considerably until he pulled away. “So responsive,” he murmured, but she could hardly hear it over the pounding in her ears. He pulled back, and Osha almost whined at the loss of his closeness. “Why don’t I tell you what I’m going to do to you? Would that help?”

She considered it, then nodded. He brought her to the bed, sitting them both down side-by-side. “Thank you,” she said quickly. “And I’m sorry.”

“There’s nothing to be sorry about and nothing to thank me for,” he said, leaning back in to kiss her and scatter her thoughts to the stars. “I’m a selfish man, Osha. But I’m not so selfish to look past your discomfort just to get what I want.”

She got the feeling he didn’t offer the same consideration to many others, which made her feel all shivery. A wide, cool hand pressed against her shoulder until she leaned back, laying fully on the bed beside him. He loomed over her, face half-cast in warm shadows from the lone lamp in the small room. “Why am I lying down?”

He seemed to ignore her question as he spoke. “I’m going to bite your arm first,” he said simply, but the casualness of his words made her breath hitch. “Riiight… here.” He traced his fingers over the inside of her forearm, near the elbow.

“Not my wrist?”

He shook his head. “Too many delicate little veins, bones, tendons, nerves.” He flicked a fingertip off the tip of one of his fangs. “These might do some serious damage to your hands if I’m not careful. I’m in control of my urges, but might not be as controlled about how gentle the bite would be.” He lifted her arm up, and for a moment, she thought he was going to bite her right then and there—

He pressed a cold, wet kiss over the spot he indicated, and beneath his kiss, heat rose to the surface. An ache bloomed in her belly, pulling at sensitive parts of her.

“And you’re lying down in case you pass out from the bite. As I told you, it will hurt, but not that much. Your anxiety will only make it worse, especially if it’s not what your body is expecting.”

“Oh,” she said, feeling a little silly.

He kissed her arm again, gentle despite his insistence he could not be. “Next, I’ll—”

“Bite my neck?”

“I will check if you want more,” he said firmly. His eyes flashed bright red again, serious.

The care he exhibited over her choice, her consent, and her safety made her insides feel all warm in a way she wasn’t used to. Master Sol had been concerned for her safety, but where Qimir’s care was warm, Sol’s had often been chilly and uncomfortable.

“Okay,” she whispered, squirming a little on her back. He noticed the movement, a teasing glint returning to his eyes. “What will you do after that?”

“Then, if you’ll allow it…” His hand trailed lower, brushing the side of her breast, passing her ribs, almost tickling her waist, then over her hip to rest on her thigh. “I’d like to feed from here.”

Even though his hand was cold and they had a barrier of clothes between them, she could have sworn his touch left a searing brand against her thigh. “Why there?”

“Some major arteries are down here, very active. And I’m hungry, Osha.” He didn’t elaborate, moving his hand back up her body. He brushed over the fly to her pants, fingers snagging over the bulk of her belt. She gasped and flinched, but he paid it no mind. He traced his fingertips up, up, between her breasts before his cool hand rested at the base of her throat. “And I’m selfish.”

“Wh—how is that selfish?” she asked, fighting between her desire to know and her desire to feel. He leaned down, tracing his nose over the shell of her ear. 

“Because when I’m done, you’ll feel the ache in your legs with every,” he kissed her ear, “single,” a nip, “step.”

Osha couldn’t help but moan. It was embarrassingly loud, and he was hardly touching her at all, but she was certain she’d never been more turned on and ready for him.

But Qimir didn’t comment, only looking her over with that heated crimson gaze—like he expected such a reaction.

“Do you want to know what I’m going to do next?”

She nodded, swallowing hard enough to feel the brush of his hand over the base of her throat. “Please.”

At that single whispered word, the energy in the room shifted. Qimir stilled, eyes squeezing shut as a shiver rippled over him. A low groan left his lips, the breath cool against Osha’s temple. “Fuck,” he whispered, taking a ragged breath and shaking his head. His hair fell into his face, out from behind his ears. It gave him a wilder look, eyes half-hidden behind a dark veil. “Fuck,” he repeated, drawing back a little and going still.

Osha didn’t dare move. She already knew Qimir was nearing the last reserves of his control, assurances made or otherwise. But all she’d said was please, and it nearly broke him apart. His arrival at her side in the cantina had made her mouth go dry, but now, it watered—she wanted to taste him, touch him.

“Fuck, Osha,” he said a third time. He got up on his knees and laughed, though there was little humor in it. He sounded doomed from where he sat above her. “You keep thinking whatever you’re thinking right now, and I’m not going to be as gentle or as polite as I would like to be.”

“Why do you keep saying that? Can you—can you read my thoughts or something?”

His face smoothed with forced ease, and he closed his eyes before shaking his head. “A vampire’s sense of smell is very good—and I can taste how aroused you are right now. Without even seeing, without even touching. I can taste how wet you are for me, Osha.”

Her blood oscillated wildly between hot and cold, the realization that his reaction back in the cantina had been because of—? Oh, shit. She was at once mortified by being so laid bare, thrilled by the acknowledgment of his predatory nature, and insanely turned on by his ease in talking about her desire. His were the hands of a dangerous man, but she was in good hands nonetheless.

“Sorry,” she whispered, chewing her lip again.

His hand lifted from her neck for his thumb to press down on her lip, freeing it from her teeth. “That’s my job,” he admonished, surprisingly soft. It made her heart flip in her chest once more. “So—” he took a breath, steadying himself. “Only after I’ve taken from your arm and your thigh, that’s when I’ll take from your neck.”

“Why?”

“The neck is quite the erogenous zone, Osha.” He brushed his fingers over her pulse, which tickled, but more than that, it set her trembling. “The nerves there are much more sensitive than the other places I mentioned. And therefore, the feeling you’d get from me feeding would be… heightened.”

“Heightened?” she asked weakly.

He did not explain. All he did was nod.

Fun things, she remembered him saying. Fun things would happen to her.

“That, and drinking from the neck is one of the most primal things I could do. You baring your neck to me… it both sates and encourages that part of me to give in to those instincts. I could kill you, drain you dry if I drank here first.” He almost sounded saddened by it, which was odd.

Osha brought her hand up to his wrist and wrapped her fingers around it. He watched her, fascinated by her curiosity. Osha traced her thumbs over his hand and pressed his fingers flat and open before she leaned up to kiss the center of his palm.

“Okay,” she said.

“Okay?” He swallowed roughly, eyes flickering over her face again.

“I think I like your plan.”

He smirked. “Oh, you think you—”

“Shut up,” she groaned, reaching up to pull him in by the back of his neck. Their kiss was more heated than before. For all his bloodless skin chilled her, he possessed a fire in his flesh that did not dissipate and did not waver after the initial rush of feeling.

When she was certain her heart wouldn’t beat out of her chest, she said his name. It brought him back up, and she traced how his lips had grown a little darker, the shade of old bruises. He looked obscene like this, truly rumpled and fueled by want. “Yes?” he whispered, breathing quickly.

“Do it.”

His pupils dilated sharply, almost to the point where the crimson in his irises disappeared entirely. A heartbeat passed, then he leaned down and bit her exactly where he said he would.

Instantaneous burning pain slashed at the pleasure his kiss and touch had brought, setting her body rigid on the bed beneath him. He did not stop, even at the tight whimper that escaped her. At the stomach-flipping sensation of him withdrawing his fangs from her, she made another weak noise, wondering if this had all been a mistake—

But then his mouth touched down next, encompassing the bite mark wholly. Both his hands cradled her arm like something precious, something fragile. There was a bit of pressure—then release. She couldn’t help the wild moan at the new sensation, her surprise warring with the wanton waves of pleasure his mouth was giving her. She felt her eyes cross a little until the shock waned. Phew. Don’t pass out.

He remained hunched over her, on all fours across her vulnerable form. Once she steadied her breathing, she could hear the little noises he was trying to hide. Small whimpers and whines, near-animalistic against her skin. His noises rippled through her bones, resonating with her like a tuning fork pressed against her skull. Her hand moved without warning, pushing up through his hair and grabbing hold at the root. He made a small, distressed noise—

But she did not pull him off. She pushed him closer, feeling his lips slip against her arm even as he drank. His whines turned to moans, and his shallow breaths turned to deeper, harsher breaths than before.

Stars, if this was how it felt on her arm, how was it going to feel on her neck?

He seemed to have found himself again after some time—how long, she had no idea. The whole room had gotten a little fuzzy and sparkly, stars dancing against her skin. Qimir dragged his tongue over the bite, which stung a little in the cooler air once he let go.

Because Qimir had grown warmer since drinking from her—or she’d grown cooler. But her first guess was correct. He turned around to face her, and she saw the flush of blood high on his cheekbones, of life in his features.

“Are you okay?” he asked, his voice wet and raspy. Idly, his thumb brushed over the wound, but she wasn’t focusing on that. She could only see the dark red of her blood staining his teeth, his tongue.

She blinked a few times, processing that he was speaking to her. “Yeah. Holy shit,” she laughed. “I’m okay.”

Something soft and almost distressed fluttered through his features when she laughed, like he didn’t know what to do all of a sudden.

“How do you feel?” she asked.

He seemed just as stunned as she’d been by the question. “Good.”

“Still hungry?” she asked. His eyes traced down her body and rested on the place he’d planned to go next. She went for her belt—

“Let me.” He stilled her hands, and while he wasn’t blazing warm, the difference was notable. “Please.”

Her whole body jerked at that single word, and shit, she understood why he’d been so affected earlier when she said it. The amount of desire that could fit into a single syllable was fucking astounding, and she had no idea why she was so affected. She let her hands fall to the side, wondering what, if anything, she wouldn’t do when he said please like that.

Her belt clinked a little as he undid it, and then the fly of her trousers. She cursed when he tugged them down, only for the blousing straps to get caught in her boots. She leaned up to help and was hit with a wave of dizziness that had the room spinning. “Whoa.”

“Lay back down,” Qimir ordered, planting his hand on her breastbone. She complied, and the dizziness abated. He did the work for her, taking off her boots and pants with shocking gentleness—he’d really meant it when he said he could control himself. That taste he took from her arm had done wonders.

“What does—” she bit off the question she’d been about to ask again. Qimir needed to eat, and she kept delaying that.

“Don’t do that,” he murmured, lips pressing against her knee. His eyes were a much warmer shade now, bright scarlet in the lamplight. She was unable to look away. “You can ask me anything you want, Osha.”

She took a shuddering breath and blamed her courage on the funny feelings his bite had given her.

“What does my blood taste like?”

He traced his nose over her thigh, lost in thought as he considered her answer. “I won’t feed you some bullshit line about it tasting like sunshine and fresh snow,” he said dryly, looking up at her with a half-grin. “Blood tastes like blood.”

“Oh,” she said, about to feel silly again—

“But the warmth of it… it burned at first. Like drinking tea when it’s too hot. Scalding.” His thumb brushed little circles over her thigh, and he sunk down to sit on his heels between her thighs. It felt like an entirely inappropriate place to sit and have a think, but he seemed comfortable, so she didn’t say anything. She leaned up on her elbows as he continued. “And then, the longer I drank, the warmer my body became, and the more I could enjoy it. Enjoy you. And your warmth… it tastes like life. It tastes like the only light in a vast, cold darkness.”

For a moment, he looked like he wanted to say more, but instead, he pressed his face against the inside of her thigh. For a few long minutes, he stayed there, just breathing her in. This close to where he knew she was wet and aching, she could only imagine what was running through his mind—or if her scent and taste stilled those thoughts in their tracks.

She put her hand back on his head, threading her fingers through his hair and tugging him forward. “You promised me another bite, and you’re still hungry,” she said. When had her voice gotten so husky and sensual?

He shuddered, moving where she wanted with no resistance. His throat bobbed as she pulled him back, exposing his own neck to her. His eyes sparkled with intrigue, like she was a wonder. “I did. I am.”

“So do something about it.”

“But you’re hungry, too,” he said, fighting her hold so he could level a look at her. She felt like she was wearing nothing beneath that gaze, like his hot stare had incinerated every bit of clothing left on her. “An appetite for something you can’t eat… but can fill you anyway.”

His fingers danced up her inner thigh, rubbing longingly over the darker veins beneath her skin before moving up and up and—

Osha jolted when his thumb pressed against the soaking-wet material of her underwear. “Can I feed you too, Osha?” he asked, that damned thumb moving in slow, precise little circles exactly where she needed from him.

She was seconds from making a mixing business and pleasure joke, but those words caught in her throat, leaving her only able to nod furiously. Qimir’s eyes flicked down to where his hand was splayed over her hip, just his thumb touching her indecently. He turned his hand and teased his fingers beneath the wet fabric. She held back her moan as his knuckles brushed over her aching core, where she needed him most.

“I don’t want to hear you holding back another fucking breath from me, Osha.” His eyes were suddenly ablaze, locked on hers. “Understand?”

She nodded, but at the increased intensity of his stare, she found her words again. “Yes, I understand,” she squeaked.

“Good.”

With that, he dove in. He pulled her underwear to the side, which made everything seem that much dirtier and taboo as he licked and sucked at her with abandon. True to her word, she didn’t hold back, grasping at his hair and practically shouting his name. The pleasure she’d gotten from him feeding on her was a strange, full-body kind of ache, like she was drowning in it. This pleasure, by comparison, was brutal, a crueler death than the other.

Burning and drowning.

He never stopped moving, not when he slipped one of those long, cool fingers inside her and not when her hips couldn’t help but rock up against his hand. She felt unbridled, chasing after an end she couldn’t see. But he guided her there nonetheless, never restraining her even once. He drew back after some time, sucking his finger into his mouth before returning his touch with another finger inside her. Osha moaned, settling into the rhythm and rolling against his hand.

Fuck, this was the best idea ever.

Qimir pressed his cheek against her thigh, just watching how his fingers moved in and out of her, seeing and feeling the way she grew tighter around him when he touched her just right. He was nearly locked in a trance, like he could spend the rest of his life just watching her fall apart from his touch.

She (barely) had the ability to speak a string of words that made any sense. “Qimir… please… c’mon, you said…”

Okay, maybe sense was stretching it.

Qimir caught her meaning, checking with her to make sure she wasn’t at risk of passing out for one reason or another. The bite on her arm wasn’t bleeding for whatever reason, and she wanted to know what it felt like with his teeth so close to where he had his hands. Wordlessly, he drew her leg up and over his shoulder, pressing his face against her thigh again as his attention caught on the way she seized up around his fingers suddenly. “Nervous?” he asked, his voice all throaty and rough.

“I won’t be if you just—”

He struck, sharp fangs sinking into her once more. The burning had felt all-consuming from the bite on her arm, but this time, it warred with the pleasure he was giving her just inches away. Instead of one drowning out the other, they intertwined in a song, leaving her ears ringing as she gasped for breath.

He pulled his fangs out and repeated the process anew, pulling her blood into his mouth with a helpless moan. He rolled his whole body against her, tongue coaxing out more and more of her blood as his fingers took up their rhythm once more. The waning effects of his first bite surged in, cranked to a higher intensity than before. The leg not around his shoulder shook as ecstasy began encroaching on her senses.

“Fuck, fuck—!” Osha’s voice broke when he pulled her over the edge. It felt like nothing she’d tried by herself in the privacy of her bunk and even less like anything she’d tried with a partner. She was certain she was hurting him, pulling at his hair like she was, but nothing could get her to let go until the pleasure abated.

And still, he drank.

She gave a weak whimper. “Fuck,” she said a third time. “You’re so good,” she whined.

Qimir gave a groan in return, and a deeper, subtler rocking motion joined his hand and his mouth. Fuck, he must have been grinding his hips against the side of the bed. She relinquished her hold on his hair to pet him gently, smoothing the strands out of his eyes and holding them back so she could see him better.

Red eyes lolled over to her in his first graceless move of the night. He seemed drunk, caught between watching her, fingering her, and drinking from her thigh. “So good,” she whispered again, brushing her thumb over his temple. His eyes closed, a furrow forming between his brows. She had no time to be concerned before he licked over the bite with his wet tongue. It left a smear of red behind on her skin, which he lapped at repeatedly until all traces of her blood had been consumed.

He gently slipped his fingers from her. That bone-deep ache had been abated somewhat from her orgasm, but his hand was nowhere near enough for what she truly wanted, what she needed. Qimir rested against her thigh again. His hair fell into his eyes, forcing her to focus on his lips. He licked them almost compulsively, like he had to ensure that every drop of her taste was safe behind his teeth.

“You—you okay?” he asked, his breath catching in the middle of his sentence.

She was. There was no wooziness, only the warm embrace of post-orgasm bliss. “I’m perfect,” she said, giving in and running her fingers through his hair again. It was thicker than it looked, and much softer than it had any right to be. He pressed into her hand like a cat, eyes still closed. “Are you alright? You seem…”

“Drunk?” he asked, cracking an eye open. A languid, bloodstained smile crept across his lips as he looked at her. “Yeah. Feels like it, a little. Might be the F—fucking incredible taste of you.” He brushed his thumb over the bite on her thigh before rising up with a soft groan.

His stumbling words almost concerned her were it not for the clearly straining bulge in his pants. Slowly, she sat up before him, nearly face-to-face with his erection.

While he just… stood there. He watched her with a slightly confused look on his face. There it was again, like he was puzzling her out or something.

“What?” she asked, unable to summon the sharp, defensive bite of her words this time.

“Nothing,” he sighed, reaching down to cup her face. His face followed, but he stopped himself just before he kissed her. The hesitation was clear; he didn’t know if she wanted to try the taste of herself—her pleasure or her blood.

Osha decided for him, pulling him in again as they both fell back against the bed. She moaned at the tangy, sharp taste on his lips and tongue. She didn’t feel the same way he did, about the warmth and the light in the darkness. Instead, she only tasted something wild and powerful. He caged himself around her, still fully dressed while she remained naked from the waist down. He probably did so for her comfort, knowing the chill of his body wouldn’t feel very nice. The consideration made her feel… safe. What a paradox to feel safe for the first time in years in the arms of a deadly apex predator.

“What’s on your mind?” he asked after some time, nosing beneath her jaw but making no attempt to continue his plans—that third bite he promised her.

“Nothing,” she sighed. Normally, such an admission would be met with skepticism, as that kind of answer to that kind of question was most often a lie. But this time, it was the truth. Nothing was on Osha’s mind. Not her worries about making ends meet, not her surviving grief over her family, not her remaining anger and frustration at the hand the Jedi dealt her. All that bitterness and anxiety had been safely swept aside. “Nothing at all.”

Qimir chuckled, the sound warm and soul-deep. “I believe you,” he said, pressing a kiss to her temple. This, of all the kisses and touches he’d given, felt the most intimate of all.

“Am I still bleeding from the… from the bites?” she asked, curious to look but unable to do so with a huge vampire lying atop her.

He shook his head, his hair tickling her nose. She scowled at the feeling and only received a teasing smile in return. “I have some measure of influence over that. More than just how you’d feel from the act, I can control the wound itself. If I wanted you to keep bleeding, you would. But, no. I wanted you to heal.” I wanted to take care of you, she imagined him saying next, though not a single word of that passed his lips.

“Can all vampires do that?”

“I don’t know,” he murmured. “Maybe some.”

“Thank you,” she said, reaching up to trace over the muscles and tendons in his neck. He was truly a masterpiece, and the more she ran her hands over his torso, the more she found she was right. He was absolutely fit beneath those baggy clothes, all rippling muscles and tight skin.

“Don’t mention it,” he said softly. Some emotion flashed through his eyes, and she didn’t know him well enough to even guess at it.

Qimir pressed his forehead against hers, and Osha was startled by how warm he’d gotten. “Do you… how often do you need to feed?” she asked, curious. How long had it been, for him to get to the desperate point he’d been?

He kept his eyes closed as he answered her question. “Ideally? Every two weeks, and just the amount you gave me from your arm.”

Concern lanced through her. Shit, it must have been a long time. She couldn’t imagine starving like that.

“But you don’t need to worry about me, Osha.” He pressed a kiss to her lips again, then gently tilted her head this way and that. “Have a preference for which side?” he asked, playful once more. He reminded her of a big cat, both prowling predator and playful in spades.

“Whichever one seems tastiest,” she said, letting her hand fall from his hair and trace down his spine.

His body stiffened the moment she touched some irregular bump over the deep groove of his spinal column. She withdrew her hand and left it to rest on his shoulder instead, getting the hint easily enough. He relaxed once her hand moved, but he was still all coiled muscle, the predator beneath his skin rising to meet her again.

“They both seem tasty,” he said, pressing his face into the crook of her left shoulder. She shuddered, latent full-body pleasure still coursing through her. It kicked up a notch at the press of his lips to her pulse point.

She didn’t realize what she was doing until Qimir stopped mouthing at her neck and stilled against her. With his thigh between her legs, it proved the perfect place for her to rock back and forth against him. It was firm, unyielding to her desperate search for pleasure.

“Need more, greedy girl?” he asked, his voice a low rumble in his chest. She pictured dark rainclouds, a flash of lightning, rolling thunder. She shuddered and couldn’t even summon the urge to be embarrassed at how she was acting.

“Ple—” He silenced her with a kiss, moving his thigh away to bring his hand back to her center. “No,” she pouted. “I need more than that.”

He looked delighted to hear that. “More?” he asked again. “You sure you can handle more?”

“Yes, damn it,” she said, squirming again.

Suddenly, his hand jerked away, taking with it the shredded remains of her underwear. “Was getting in the way,” he said with a shrug.

Qimir rose up on his knees between her legs, deftly undoing the clasps at his pants and pushing them down. He was rough with himself compared to how gentle he’d been when he took her boots and pants off earlier.

He was hard and thick, and the head of his cock was a blushed, dark pink. Her mouth watered, arousal spiking once more, even after all he’d done to appease her hunger. One-handed, he stroked himself, watching her watch him. “You sure you can handle more?”

She gave him a scathing glare that silenced him but didn’t stop him from grinning at her. Even now, the sight of his fangs still inspired her heart to flip in her chest. Would she ever tire of it?

After tonight, she’d have to. Their ship was set to leave tomorrow, and she had to be there when it did. He didn’t.

Not letting that thought dissuade her from having a good time, she just nodded. “I want it. I want you to fuck me while you feed from my neck.”

A full-body shiver raced up his body, making his shoulders tense somewhat. What she couldn’t see before was now apparent: deep shadows raced beneath his skin, black veins pulsing with some dark energy as he fought it back for control. “Can’t say things like that,” he bit out, swallowing roughly.

“I wouldn’t have to say it if you’d just do it,” she argued.

Crimson eyes met hers, nearly glowing in the low light. The primal survival instinct in the back of her mind was screaming for her to run as fast as she could, but Osha didn’t give a fuck. She had what she wanted right in front of her.

“I’m fed enough to think straight now, but if I do—that, I might snap.”

Osha wondered briefly at what she’d really be losing if she died fucking a sexy vampire. A few knick-knacks in her bunk. A few friends who don’t understand her. Grief. Anger. Sadness. All in all, not much.

“I might snap if you don’t get inside me right fucking now, Qimir.”

He pounced. His hands were suddenly everywhere, just like she imagined back in the cantina. He grabbed at her, pulling her closer and closer into his body until there was no space left between them. It took just a few inches of adjustment for her to get exactly what she wanted from him.

His mouth hung open some when he sank into her, fangs glinting wetly in the low light. “Fuck, Osha,” he gasped, shuddering. Just like his fingers and mouth, his cock was cooler than she was, sending a shocking contrast of feeling through her veins.

Osha moaned, half her body confused by the sensation and the other half eager for him to sink another part of him inside her. She reached for him as he came down, hips starting to roll against her in smooth, deep strokes that had her practically gasping. He was thick, thought-stealingly thick. The noise she made wasn’t remotely coherent, echoing those twin feelings of confusion and lust as he fucked her.

“If I—if I’m taking too much…” he panted, looking down at her with fevered, scarlet eyes. “You fight me. You punch and bite and pull at me. You use whatever—whatever you need to get me off of you.”

She couldn’t form words but nodded at him.

He struck like a viper, fangs sinking into her neck like they were always meant to be there. Osha screamed, half-ecstasy, half-agony. Even when he pulled his fangs out of her and began to feed from her neck, she couldn’t keep quiet. Her moans were almost panicked from how amazing she felt. He was right; this was nothing like when he fed from her arm or even from her thigh. She couldn’t escape it this time, not when he was fucking her this deep and drawing her blood down his throat like it held the answers to the universe. 

Her second orgasm took her by surprise. The third, hot on its heels, threatened to devastate her. After that, she lost count, lost in a roiling tide of pleasure as he took and took and took—and wasn’t that all she wanted? To be wanted enough to give herself over like this. Tears ran down the sides of her face, the ecstasy and fulfillment coalescing into an incredible crescendo.

Black and white dots burst in her vision, reminding her of meteor showers and lightspeed. Qimir shuddered against her, groaning into her skin, into her veins. With a sob, she felt another orgasm crash over her, overwhelming and ceaseless. She had no control of herself like this, and for half a second, she truly didn’t care if he drained her dry. Having known this pleasure, she could die right now, happier than she’d ever been in her life.

But he seemed to have found control, licking over the wound in her neck. His hand slid behind her neck to angle her head to him, and he paused just to look at the bite mark, marveling at it and brushing his thumb over it like it’d disappear. While her arm throbbed and her thigh ached like he said it would, her neck seemed to pulse with that lasting heat and pain, juxtaposing the pleasure his bite had brought.

Osha was boneless as he pulled out of her, feeling messy but unable to care at the moment. She closed her eyes as he wiped away her tears, sweat, and any evidence of their pleasure. His motions were so gentle, they were almost sweet. When he lay down beside her, arms curled around her, she had no more tears to cry—but he’d cause no more tears tonight.

His chin rested atop her head as they embraced, and for the longest time, neither moved. Her first words came out as a wretched croak. “You’re warm.”

Qimir chuckled, and she felt it against her cheek. His heart still thudded unnaturally slow behind his ribs, but he was warm and solid and real. That’s what mattered. “Thanks to you.”

He didn’t sound drunk, as he’d been after feeding on her thigh. He instead sounded… level. Satisfied. Full.

He spoke after they rested a while longer. “Don’t do anything too strenuous for a day or two while your body replenishes its blood.”

“Yes, doctor,” she grumbled, laying back down with him.

His laugh was softer now, carrying another feeling that tried to press itself into her mind. The Force had been good at telling her what others felt, but she hadn’t been connected to the Force in some time. It was probably just some post-coital haze.

Qimir murmured something to her, stroking his fingers over her shoulder. But Osha was too comfortable to concentrate, and dozed off.

He was packing up a bag when she woke. He’d put her pants back on, sans underwear, and even laced up her boots for her. He looked over when she stirred, taking inventory of her body. “Feeling okay?” he asked.

She supposed this was where he asked her to leave, yet the embarrassment didn’t rise to her cheeks like it normally would. “Yeah,” she said softly.

Then she cursed, the rest of the galaxy coming crashing back into her awareness at once. “Fuuuuck—” she groaned and checked her chrono. “Oh, thank fuck. I have an hour.”

“Don’t wanna miss movement,” he said, teasing. But he felt a little more closed off than he’d been before. He looked completely different than he’d been when they met. Gone was the deathly pale, starving vampire. Like this, he just looked like… well, a man.

His eyes were brown again. She didn’t know why this was the most disappointing part.

“Yeah,” she said, chewing at her lip.

He was in front of her in a heartbeat, moving so fast she didn’t even have time to flinch before he thumbed her lower lip away from her teeth. “That’s my job,” he said, his voice a quiet, fond murmur. When his hand turned, she pressed her cheek against it.

“Still warm,” she smiled up at him, gladdened by his lack of remorse over this whole… thing.

“Thank you, Osha,” he said, sounding slightly grave. “You’ve done me a great service.”

“Yeah, well. Ditto.” Ah, there was the embarrassment and shyness. Right on schedule. “Uh, if you…”

She trailed off, and he raised an eyebrow at her. She remembered the fervent order he’d given her before.

I don’t want to hear you holding back another fucking breath from me.

Her mouth went dry all at once, desire sparking beneath her skin. “If you wanna catch a bite in a few weeks, just look me up. We’re at this port a lot, I mean.” It felt overly familiar, attached in a way Master Sol would have chastised her for. But Master Sol wasn’t here.

Qimir leaned down and captured her lips in a kiss that stole any remaining thoughts from her mind, leaving nothing but…

Peace.

“I’ll find you,” he said, far too soft for what this was. But Osha allowed it, leaning into his touch until it was gone.

When she opened her eyes, she was alone.

Two weeks later

“I hope you guys can hear me,” Osha said to Pip, waiting for the merchant to hand her the long black shawl.

She had to pretend to be Mae, which was lying, thereabouts. For whatever reason, the racing of her heart felt like an omen. Something else pulsed beneath her skin, a feeling she had avoided acknowledging until then. She’d reached out to the Force back on the prison transport, but that had been fruitless. Even so, the closer she drew to the apothecary, the worse that feeling got, pulsing in three places in particular.

Heart pounding, she stepped in. She didn’t even see the man in the open doorway as she said, “Hello?”

But when he looked up, she felt her mouth go as dry as it’d done the first time he spoke to her.

It looked like she had found him.

Qimir grinned, half-smug and half-dangerous. “Hello.”

masterlist

[wifelivvyx]

Hey! I just saw that your looking for requests and I was wondering if you could do something with James Potter taking care of the reader when she’s sick?

I love nothing more than a good hurt/comfort trope haha (especially with James. He’s such a sweetheart).

THIS!! omgg ofc x

The fire in the Gryffindor common room crackled softly, sending flickering shadows across the walls. The usually bustling space was quiet, as most students were out enjoying the unusually sunny winter afternoon. James Potter, however, was not among them.

Instead, he was standing outside the door to the girls' dormitories, balancing a tray laden with a steaming bowl of soup, a cup of tea, and a small plate of biscuits. His brow furrowed in concentration as he muttered a quiet “Alohomora,” the door clicking open without protest. He hesitated for a moment, as if second-guessing himself, before stepping inside.

The dormitory smelled faintly of lavender and parchment. He found you bundled up in bed, a mountain of blankets nearly swallowing you whole. Your usually bright eyes were dull, your cheeks flushed with fever, and a tissue was clutched loosely in your hand. A small groan escaped your lips as you shifted, clearly uncomfortable.

James’s throat bobbed as he swallowed nervously. “Oi, you look… um… awful,” he muttered, his attempt at humor falling flat. He quickly set the tray down on your bedside table and rubbed the back of his neck, avoiding your gaze. “Why didn’t you tell someone you were feeling this bad?”

You blinked up at him, your voice hoarse as you replied, “Didn’t want to… bother anyone.”

James huffed, his brows drawing together. “That’s stupid,” he said, though there was no heat in his words. He stepped closer, hesitating before gently pressing the back of his hand against your forehead. His touch lingered a moment too long before he snatched his hand back, his ears tinged pink. “You’ve got a fever,” he muttered, as if you didn’t already know.

“You didn’t have to come up here,” you rasped, your voice barely above a whisper.

“Yeah, well, someone had to,” he said gruffly, dragging a chair closer to your bed. He plopped down with exaggerated nonchalance, crossing his arms as if to shield himself from any vulnerability. “It’s not like I’d just leave you to rot up here alone. What kind of… mate would I be?”

Despite his words, his gaze softened as he reached for the cup of tea. He blew on it, his brow furrowed in concentration, before holding it out to you. “Drink this. Slowly,” he instructed, his tone awkwardly authoritative.

You took the cup, your fingers brushing his as you did. He pulled his hand back quickly, his eyes darting away. “Thanks, James,” you murmured.

He shrugged, his cheeks reddening. “It’s nothing. Just… part of the Marauder Code. Look after your… mates and all that.” His voice cracked slightly on the last word, and he cleared his throat, trying to mask his embarrassment.

“You’re awfully bossy,” you teased weakly, managing a small smile.

“I’m… efficient,” he corrected, wagging a finger at you. His attempt at humor earned a quiet laugh from you, but it quickly turned into a coughing fit. James’s expression shifted instantly, his hand hovering uncertainly over your back before he finally placed it there, rubbing gentle circles. “Easy, easy,” he murmured, his voice low and soothing.

When the fit subsided, you slumped back against the pillows, exhausted. “Sorry,” you whispered, avoiding his gaze.

“Don’t… don’t apologize,” he said, his tone unusually soft. He sat back, fidgeting with the hem of his jumper. “You can… I mean, you don’t have to worry about me or whatever. Just… focus on getting better, yeah?”

James stayed with you long after the tea and soup were finished, fumbling through a textbook and reading aloud in exaggerated voices to make you laugh. His attempts at humor were clumsy but endearing, his genuine effort shining through his embarrassment.

Eventually, as the firelight flickered lower and your exhaustion deepened, you shifted uncomfortably under the mountain of blankets. James noticed immediately, his brow furrowing. “You alright?”

“Just cold,” you mumbled, barely coherent. The fever had left you shivering despite the layers.

James hesitated, rubbing the back of his neck as if weighing his options. Then, with a quiet huff, he stood up and began peeling off his jumper, leaving him in his undershirt. Without a word, he slid into the bed beside you, maneuvering carefully so he wouldn’t jostle you too much.

“What are you doing?” you croaked, though you didn’t sound upset—just surprised.

“Warming you up,” he muttered, his voice gruff. “Don’t make it weird.”

Before you could respond, he draped an arm around you, pulling you gently against his chest. His warmth was immediate and soothing, and despite his earlier embarrassment, he held you firmly, his thumb tracing absentminded circles on your shoulder.

“Better?” he asked quietly, his breath stirring your hair.

You nodded against him, too tired to argue. “Yeah. Thanks.”

For a while, neither of you spoke. The sound of his steady heartbeat and the crackling fire lulled you into a peaceful haze. James shifted slightly, resting his chin on the top of your head.

“Don’t tell Sirius about this,” he muttered, half-joking but with an edge of sincerity. “I’ll never hear the end of it.”

You smiled faintly, your eyes already drifting shut. “Your secret’s safe with me.”

As you fell asleep, James tightened his hold on you just a little, his earlier awkwardness melting away. Though he’d never admit it, he could’ve stayed like that forever if it meant keeping you safe and warm.

[notsocooljess]

something small

Katniss and Peeta exchange surprise gifts on a cozy Christmas morning.

“Spiked eggnog?” Peeta asked.

“This early?” Katniss responded with a grimace.

“Why the face? It’s your favorite.”

“Not at nine in the morning.”

“That’s not what you said last year,” Peeta chuckled, but he put the pitcher away and set a kettle of water on the stove instead.

Christmas celebrations came about after the war, when New Panem hired historians to look up traditions from the past to help bring morale back to the nation. It took a few years to really take hold – frivolous gifts had never been big in the districts, where money had always been better spent on items needed to survive.

But, in time they learned that gifts were not the only thing people loved about the holiday. Coming together over great food, drink, and dance with neighbors had always been loved here. What harm is caused by celebrating old traditions with those you love? With well over a decade since the war ended, people were faring far better than the previous generation could have hoped for, so the cause for celebration had firmly planted its place in society once again.

So, now on the day, they bake and sing and dine and drink. The past few years, Delly, Thom, their two boys, and Haymitch have stopped by in the evening to eat a feast Peeta spent hours cooking up while Katniss pretended to help and nibbled on the scraps. The mornings, however, are reserved for the two of them. Lounging about, playing games, and reliving memories, both happy and sad.

Katniss straightened out a bow on their tree while Peeta attended to the whistling kettle. When they first set up a tree years ago, she wasn’t sure how she felt about cutting it down just for decoration. She hated damaging her woods. She remembered how Peeta had begged her to have it inside and finally convinced her by telling her they would cut the tree apart for firewood after the holiday, and she chuckled at the memory.

A hand waving in front of her face made her jump back.

“Whoa!” Peeta exclaimed, taking a step back to avoid spilling the contents of the steaming mugs in his hands. “Sorry, didn’t mean to startle you. Did you hear me calling you?” Peeta asked, and Katniss shook her head. “Peppermint or cinnamon tea?”

She plucked the peppermint tea from his hand and went over to sit on their couch. Peeta was not far behind her with his mug in one hand and a tray of speculoos cookies they baked together in the other. He placed the tray in front of them and sat beside her, and Katniss tucked her cold feet under his warm flannel-clad thigh.

He took a sip of his tea and looked at her, his eyebrow arched as his mug made its way to and from his lips. He looked at her like he was waiting for her to confess something.

“What?” Katniss asked defensively.

“You feeling okay? I don’t think I’ve ever snuck up on you in my life.”

Katniss dipped her cookie in her tea and swirled it around. Bits of cookie broke off as it became saturated, spinning in the mini whirlpool inside her mug. This morning, her stomach didn’t seem open to much more than the tea.

She forced a smile and said, “I’m fine. Just thinking.” And she really was just thinking, but Peeta nodded in response as if he knew what she meant. Almost all the time he did, but she doubted he did right now.

They sat in the silence of thought and memory. Snow was flurrying outside, a calm before the heavy storm that was supposed to come later in the week. Katniss was thinking, yes, but she didn’t want Peeta to think it was over something sad. She wanted to make sure their day was full of joy with their found family.

She drank from her mug and gave a content sigh, catching Peeta’s attention as she laid her head against the back of the couch. He mimicked her movements, and smiled at her.

“You’re so beautiful,” he said to her, and even with years and years of getting compliments like these from Peeta, Katniss still wasn’t used to how casually he was able to say it, and she felt heat rush her cheeks as she smiled back at him.

Looking at him in their home, happy and healthy and hers, she felt a sudden wave of emotion start to overtake her. Again, she didn’t want Peeta to think she was sad, quite the contrary, and she needed to change the topic before he became worried.

“So remind me of our menu tonight?”

Peeta went on to describe the feast he had planned, which Katniss was already familiar with since she had helped gather much of the items. Roasted duck, brussel sprouts, mashed potatoes. Cheese buns and spinach pastries. Too many cookies and apple pie. Normally, Katniss’s mouth would be watering just from the conversation. Currently, the only thing that sounded appetizing was the cheese buns.

“Well if we’re gonna feed the town tonight, shouldn’t we get started?” Katniss asked.

“Soon, but not yet,” Peeta responded. “First,” Peeta started, and he leaned over the side of the couch, “I want to give you this,” he finished, presenting Katniss with a small box. She looked at him with surprise.

“It’s just something small, but…” his voice trailed off as he bit his bottom lip, suppressing a smile.

They’d never been Christmas gift givers. A calm morning off from the bakery and a break from hunting were usually how they celebrated. Small gifts on the day-to-day just helped further cement their love for one another, and for Katniss and Peeta, grand gestures had always come off the most sincere when they were unexpected. Of course, since they did not typically give gifts on Christmas, Katniss supposed this would now be considered unexpected.

Peeta placed the small box in her hands, perfectly wrapped by his skilled hands. When Katniss opened the box, she found a gold ring, expertly shaped to look like a primrose flower with a small diamond in the center. She gasped, and tears brimmed her eyes almost immediately, but she couldn’t take them away from the ring.

Since she couldn’t speak, Peeta filled the silence. “It just hit fifteen years, and I thought this would be a good way to remember her. I reached out to Effie, and she got me in touch with someone Cinna and Portia used to work with. I sent her probably fifty sketches of my idea. I was so nervous she wouldn’t be able to do it how I envisioned it, but I should’ve known that if she worked with Cinna and Portia, she’d be able to do practically anything.”

So, Peeta got her a gift, and not a gift he just went and bought. He designed it. With Cinna and Portia and Prim in mind. Any words she could come up with right now would not be enough.

With Katniss choked up, Peeta’s anxious words continued like an endlessly flowing river. “And I know we toasted so long ago, but we never really did the ring thing, and I never even really asked you if that was something you wanted because it's always been such a Capitol thing, but then I thought maybe you felt like you were missing out on it. I also thought a ring might be the easiest piece of jewelry because it’s small and it won’t get caught in your hair like a necklace would, and you can still use your bow with it since I had a probably very impractical thought that a bracelet could get in the way of that and you’d get hurt somehow.”

Katniss looked up and met his blue eyes, which were wide with anxiety and observing her every move.

“Do you like it?” Peeta finally asked, eyes searching her face as if the answer would be written there.

An idea hit her before she could properly respond. “I’ll be right back,” Katniss blurted out suddenly, and jumped from the couch, darting up the stairs.

If her brain hadn’t been in such a fog these past few days, she would have made sure to stay behind briefly to tell Peeta how much she loved it. She would’ve told him how wonderful and thoughtful this gift was, how hopeful this gift made her feel. At the very least, she would’ve warned him that she wasn’t running away because she was sad, thinking of hurtful memories from their past. But in her current state, once she remembered something, she needed to act on it before she lost the idea entirely.

Not that her gift to him was ever something she could forget. She was just going to wait to tell him. She wanted to make a special moment for it so it could be perfect, at a time when she felt more ready for it. But, she knew if it was her and Peeta, it would be perfect either way.

When she bolted back down the stairs, winded and smiling with her hands behind her back, Peeta presented her with a smile of his own, eyes still wide with confusion and shock and now joy to match her own.

“I have something small for you, too,” Katniss said. She stood in front of him on the couch and placed her gift to him, clumsily wrapped in only tissue paper, in his hands.

Peeta shot her another curious look before tearing the paper away. His eyes went wide when he saw what was in his hands.

“Katniss?” Peeta breathed, her name bearing a question, an answer, a lifeline. “Is this real?”

She barely gave him a nod before he jumped off the couch, laughing and sweeping her into his arms, kissing her face anywhere he could, tears now brimming both of their eyes. Because in his hand he clutched the greatest gift of all: a small plastic test clearly adorned with a dark blue plus sign.

[rizzanon]

loving undoing fate so far!! this recent snippet of the og timeline is scratching an itch in my brain for angst and i love it 💕💕

I’m pretty sure ppl have mentioned it, but MC’s fate would’ve been avoidable if someone had actually properly trained her (looking at Babs in particular rn, seeing how she took training and giving her mantle to others a lot more seriously— both in canon and in this fic). Like… even if they didn’t have time (which is still bull, but wtv), Tim was literally sent to Paris to train in his early robin years, they could’ve sent her to train with someone else.

also, as much as i enjoy seeing dick suffer and become brutal in grief over his siblings, i think it’s a bit odd that he’s acting like he knew her all that well, considering how he didn’t even know where her room was or how to comfort her and talk to her after her argument with damian when she was 16 in the new timeline. I doubt much changed in those years from the og timeline. (This is not a nitpick of your writing, i just think it’s interesting he doesn’t acknowledge this, compared to Jason, who straight up says he failed her—Though, maybe it’s easier for him to see since he knew what it was like to actually be close to her before his death?)

sorry i rambled, but amazing work! i’m excited my holiday will be filled with reading this series!

-🥐 (i hope there’s no croissant anon yet, i chose this since, like several have mentioned, the mlb allegations and MC-Marinette allegations are strong lol)

glad you like the story so far <33

i wouldn’t say that barbara didn’t take mc’s training seriously. she did, though at the time when mc did decide to become batgirl, barbara was still going through a lot of things (like joker shooting her making her paralysed, her no longer being able to be batgirl and instead is still trying to find her footing as oracle) all of these factors build to her initially being unsupportive of mc taking up the batgirl mantle. but she realises later how much mc reminded barbara of her past self, which is why barbara gave in and helped her. but here’s the thing. technically, barbara isn’t responsible for mc. because mc is bruce’s child.

if you read batgirl 2000, you can see barbara was more involved in helping cassandra settle in with her vigilante work. and that’s because cassandra is barbara’s ward. so she is (and has to be) responsible for cassandra. and with cass losing her ability to read other people’s body language and having to relearn defense skills, i guess barbara shifted her focus onto cass more.

more of barbara and mc’s relationship will be explored in chapter 5/6 so maybe when i do post that, this will make more sense…¿?

also, i wouldn’t say that mc’s fate would have been unavoidable if she’d been trained properly. she is trained to a certain extent. mc was just at the wrong place at the wrong time. going in and fighting all those thugs whilst recovering from prior injuries she got from past patrols/missions, she pushed herself too much and was unable to recover and avoid the gunshots (i would say she was holding out on her own quite well before she was shot)

and tbf, i wouldn’t say dick is acting like he knew mc all too well (unless my writing does depict him that way, then mb 😭) i would say he’s still grieving and in denial that someone else—in his family—died. that’s his way of coping with mc’s death. he’s furious, he’s upset, he’s grieving, but there’s nothing he can do to make himself feel better, because he knows deep down that he failed mc. he’s just trying to come to terms with it i guess.

(mc is NOT marinette btw 🤨😒)

[monogamia]

੭⠀It had been a long time since he had felt your lips against his, and he was hungry. Or well, blurbs of a make out session.

⋆⠀FEATURING: Frederick Kreiburg 'Composer', Norton Campbell 'Prospector', Orpheus 'Novelist'.

⋆⠀WARNING: This post contain suggestive content. Frederick behaving like a red flag. Gender neutral!Reader. May contain spoilers of Ashes Of Memory.

You were walking through the stable, trying to distract yourself from your boyfriend's indecent and insistent touches under the table during breakfast. You weren’t even sure if you were allowed to wander around that part of the manor, but at no point did you consider turning back and going inside those suffocating walls.

୨୧⠀⠀FREDERICK KREIBURG,⠀Composer.

"How much longer do you plan to avoid me?" a voice asked behind you. Turning around, you saw Frederick leaning against the doorframe, his eyes watching your every move, barely blinking.

You stayed silent for a few seconds. "You told me it was better if no one knew about our relationship." He took a few steps toward you, his usual serious expression on his face—except for a slight pout. "You really are confusing, Mr. Kreiburg."

"It's Frederick to you, and you know it." He grabbed your chin, preventing you from moving—not that you would, anyway. "You seemed quite happy while talking to that novelist."

You blinked, and a genuine smile formed on your lips. As if reading your thoughts, he frowned. "It's not jealousy. It's about you preferring someone else's company over your partner's."

He didn’t wait for a response, his hands gripping your waist as he pulled you closer, his lips crashing against yours in an almost desperate kiss. You stumbled slightly, but his hands held you firmly in place.

When you finally broke apart, after what felt like hours, to catch your breath, he didn’t stop. Instead, his lips trailed to your neck, nibbling at your skin.

"Visit my room tonight…" you managed to murmur, fighting the soft moans threatening to escape. Frederick paused for a second.

"No," he said, pulling back to look at you. "We’ll… talk here, though I won’t refuse your invitation for later." The composer tilted your chin up, giving you one last kiss, unsurprisingly far from gentle. "Now, don’t act like you don’t know what I want you to do. We have plenty of time and privacy without your "friends" around." he said.

୨୧⠀⠀NORTON CAMPBELL,⠀Prospector.

As soon as your feet touched the grass again, you were pulled back into the stable. Your eyes widened, teeth ready to sink into the hand covering your mouth—until your memory recognized the gloves.

When you stopped struggling against his grip, your boyfriend turned you around, his hands now holding your waist. His sulking scowl softened into a sly smirk when he noticed how startled you were. Before you could scold him, he pressed his lips to yours, pushing you against the wall.

"Hush, now. That stupid scientist is stealing all the attention that should be mine." he muttered against the kiss, his leg slipping between yours and spreading them apart.

"She’s an entomologist," you corrected him, gripping his shoulders. You swore with every passing second that you would push him away, but your body refused to obey. That is, until his hands left your waist and moved to your zipper.

"Enough." Your chest heaved as you fought to catch your breath. "You’ve had your fill, haven’t you?"

Norton grumbled, resting his head on your shoulder and giving your neck a light bite. "I don’t understand why we can’t just act like a couple." You stroked his hair in a small gesture of comfort. "Let’s just get the money and leave this place, go to some place where I can actually fuck you whenever I want, without having to wait for the time those idiots to get distracted."

୨୧⠀⠀ORPHEUS,⠀Novelist.

You were just passing through the stable, checking its condition, when you were suddenly pulled into one of the stalls. Orpheus didn’t even give you time to process what was happening before kissing you without hesitation.

His arm wrapped around your waist, while his other hand cupped your chin. You couldn’t bring yourself to break the kiss, let alone resist, your own arms encircling his neck and pulling him closer.

Pausing the kiss, he smiled. "I missed your lips." His face then leaned into the crook of your neck, burying itself there and taking in your scent. He began trailing kisses down your neck, drawing a soft sigh from you.

His arms pulled you closer, gently lifting you slightly to bring you closer to his height, resuming the kiss. It grew rougher and more passionate with each passing second.

His hands slid up to your shirt, undoing two buttons before you caught his wrist, giving him a teasing smile. “Where are your gentlemanly manners, hm? Aren’t you going to recite poetry in my ear first?”

“Haven’t we moved past that stage?” he asked, sucking the skin on your neck hard enough to leave a mark. “Besides, it’s been so long since I’ve had some quality time with my beloved. Are you really going to blame a man for loving?”

You laughed at his silly and cheesy excuse, your eyes following him as he knelt down and removed his monocle. “May I?” he asked with a smile.

[lilanette]

My designs for Reverse!Lilanette, drawn by the wonderful vercilla!

While I get what they were going for, the whole emo aesthetic just felt a bit too on-the-nose, so I repurposed the skirt and striped socks design from Marietta instead. I did keep the thorn design from OG Reverse!Marinette's jacket, but I ended up adding it to Marinette's usual flower motif.

Redesigning Lila is always a bit of a challenge, mostly because I actually really like her original design and colour palette. In the end I went for an opposite colour palette for her, green instead of red, and dressed her down so she looked a bit more casual instead of "cool".

Lore rambles under the cut :D

Marinette's characterisation doesn't change much from canon, I like to headcanon that her family is a lot more successful (ofc, canon already states they're renowned in Paris, but in this case it's more akin to the Agreste family's success), and unlike for our Marinette, Tom and Sabine were not as loving of parents and think Marinette's fashion aspirations aren't worth pursuing, so she dresses a lot more boldly to defy their demands of a respectable daughter, especially after the Supreme chose her.

I think, in this AU, Marinette isn't very sociable and doesn't have any friends, though it's mostly through her own choice. Initially, Chloe isolated her, but after Marinette gained the Ladybug Miraculous, she fought back, and due to the Supreme's favour and connections, got away with it. As a result, people are mostly scared of crossing her, and she has a lot more arrogance than our Marinette, because she thinks the power she wields and her favour with the Supreme means she's above everyone else. She's initially very loyal to the Supreme for giving her power, magical and mundane, but will eventually realise the cost of abusing her Miraculous.

Lila in this world I think was already exposed for her lies before coming to Paris, so she's a lot more humble and just trying to stay on everyone's good side. I think she'd be a lot more like the fanon Lila people thought about during the S2 hiatus. She hides a lot of herself in order to be liked and avoid getting into trouble, but a part of her still wants attention and to be accepted, so she doesn't have much of her own opinions on anything.

Lila admires Marinette for being so fearless, and initially tries to cozy up to her in order to win her over as a friend. Marinette isn't having any of this though, but eventually recognises the facade Lila is putting on in order to be liked and feels a tiny bit of kinship for someone who's also putting on a front, and that eventually spirals into something bigger.

I'm still working out exactly how Toxinelle and Griffe Noire operate in their world, so I haven't thought too much about the identity dynamics at play here. I do see Lila eventually joining the Resistance though. Maybe I could make a kamikotised design for her.

[evabby]

POLAR OPPOSITES.

chapter iii < chapter iv > chapter vi || series masterlist.

SUMMARY : you and abby anderson go to the same college, and are in the same english class — you’re polar opposites who clash at every turn. abby is carefree and confident, whereas you’re more focused and disciplined. when you’re forced to partner up on a project, your rivalry deepens, but an unexpected connection does too. as abby pushes you to loosen up, your dynamic shifts from competitive to something far more complicated.

AUTHOR NOTE : im sorry for not posting in a while!!! a lot of stuff has just been going on but chapter 4 yay!!

WARNINGS : none i think !!

CHAPTER IV : BREAKING POINT

“angel?”

you froze at the sound of her voice. when you looked up, there she was — abby, standing a few feet away, her expression softer than you’d ever seen it.

“go away,” you mumbled, swiping at your eyes, sat with your knees up and your head resting on them.

she didn’t.

instead, she sat down next to you on the bottom of the stairwell, close enough that her presence felt grounding but not overwhelming.

“you looked like you needed a break,” abby said gently, her voice low.

you laughed bitterly. “a break? i just humiliated myself in front of everyone. i couldn’t even finish my presentation.”

abby tilted her head. “you didn’t humiliate yourself. you’re just… human. it happens.”

you shot her a sharp look, the frustration and hurt bubbling to the surface.

“not to you. you’re always so.. so perfect. like nothing gets to you.”

abby blinked, and for the first time, you saw something like hurt flicker across her face.

“you think i’m perfect?”

“don’t start,” you said, your voice cracking as you speak quietly.

she sighed and leaned back, looking up at the ceiling tiles.

“i’m not perfect. trust me. i screw things up all the time. my dad’s this incredible doctor, and im always wondering if i’ll ever measure up. but you? you’re… amazing. even when you’re too hard on yourself.”

her words made your chest ache. you wanted to argue, but the lump in your throat stopped you.

“i’m so tired,” you whispered instead.

abby’s voice softened. “then stop trying to carry everything on your own.”

the vulnerability in her tone cracked something open in you. you looked at her, and she held your gaze, her expression steady and unflinching.

“i don’t know how,” you admitted, looking back down at the stairs.

abby hesitated for a moment before speaking again.

“let me help you. you don’t have to go through this alone, silly girl. not with me here.”

something about the way she said it, so earnest and unguarded, made the tears spill over again. you didn’t fight them this time. instead, you let abby pull you into a loose embrace, her arms warm and solid around you.

“i’m sorry,” you murmured against her shoulder, sniffing to cover up the tears falling down your face.

“for what?”

“for avoiding you. for everything.”

abby pulled back just enough to look at you, a faint smile on her lips.

“i was wondering when you’d realise I’m not that easy to get rid of.”

you let out a shaky laugh, and something inside you loosened. for the first time in days, you felt like you could breathe.

“i missed you,” you admitted quietly.

abby’s smile widened, her usual cocky charm shining through. “of course you did. look at me.”

you rolled your eyes, but the warmth in her tone settled in your chest like a balm.

the silence between you stretched, comfortable this time. abby reached out and tucked a stray piece of hair behind your ear, her fingers lingering for a moment longer than necessary. your breath hitched, and when you looked at her, the playful glint in her eyes was replaced with something deeper.

“angel,” she started, her voice quieter now, almost hesitant. “i—”

you shook your head quickly. “don’t. not yet.”

she studied you for a moment before nodding. “okay. not yet.”

but the unspoken promise was there.

for now, this was enough.

it started small.

a message from abby popped up on your phone the next day.

hi angel

you okay?

you stared at it for a long time, debating whether to respond. your chest still felt tight from the presentation, and the memory of abby’s arms around you was fresh, almost too raw. but in the end, you typed back a hesitant:

i’m fine

thankyou

that seemed to be enough for her to start breaking down the walls you’d built. she didn’t push—abby never did. instead, she started showing up in the little ways.

during class, you noticed her sliding a copy of her notes toward you when the professor went too fast for you to keep up.

at the library, she’d casually drop off a coffee at your table without a word before heading off to her own seat.

and when you were both in study groups for different classes, she’d catch your eye across the room and give you a small, reassuring smile.

it was maddening and comforting all at once.

one evening, abby showed up outside your dorm. you opened the door, surprised to see her standing there with a takeout bag in her hand and that infuriating grin on her face.

“figured you hadn’t eaten yet,” she said, holding up the bag.

“abby, you don’t have to—”

“i know,” she interrupted, stepping inside without waiting for an invitation. “but i want to.”

you sighed, letting the door close behind her. as she unpacked the food, you couldn’t help but notice how easily she filled the space. she sat on the floor like she belonged there, cross-legged and already picking at her fries.

“come on,” she said, patting the spot next to her. “you’re not gonna let me eat all of this by myself, are you?”

despite yourself, you smiled and sat down. it felt normal. comfortable.

there conversation stayed light— abby told you about a lab experiment gone wrong she’d witnessed earlier that day, and you laughed despite your lingering stress. for a little while, it felt like the tension between you had faded, like things were slowly falling back into place.

but when she left that night, you found yourself standing at the door long after she’d gone, your chest heavy with the weight of all the things you couldn’t say yet.

the next time you were alone with abby, it was during one of your late-night study sessions. the project was almost finished, and you were both sitting in the quiet corner of the library that had become your unofficial spot.

abby was leaning back in her chair, balancing a pen between her fingers as she watched you skim through your notes.

“youre doing it again,” she said suddenly, breaking the silence.

“doing what?” you asked without looking up.

“that thing where you overthink everything.”

you sighed, dropping your pen. “i’m not overthinking. i’m just trying to get this right.”

abby leaned forward, resting her chin on her hand as she studied you. “you always do. you know that, right?”

her words caught you off guard. you glanced at her, and there was something in her expression that made your heart stumble—something softer than her usual teasing grin.

“abby, why are you—”

“because i care, angel,” she interrupted, her voice quieter than usual.

the words hung in the air between you, heavy and loaded with meaning. you felt your pulse quicken, and for a moment, you didn’t know what to say.

“i..” You hesitated, your throat tightening.

abby sighed and leaned back again, running a hand through her hair. “you don’t have to say anything. i just— i can’t pretend anymore. i care about you. more than i probably should.”

her confession was raw, unguarded in a way that made your chest ache. you opened your mouth to respond, but the words wouldn’t come.

“it’s okay,” abby said, standing up and grabbing her bag. “take your time. i’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”

before you could stop her, she was gone, leaving you alone with your thoughts and the weight of what she’d just said.

for the rest of the night, you couldn’t focus on anything else. abby’s words replayed in your mind, over and over, until they were the only thing you could hear.

chapter iii < chapter iv > chapter vi || series masterlist.

[fandoms-in-law]

Steve had had enough of everything he was giving the kids ending up thrown on the floor.

He had also woken up from nightmares last night and ended up baking instead of trying to sleep again so there seemed to be an easy solution to both the kids inability to catch falling treats and his sudden abundance of cookies; Leaving them unwrapped in the tin.

Now, neither he or Robin wanted to have to vacuum up cookies crumbs while listening to half a dozen kids complaining about getting no treats that day so he did also take in his normal bake goods tin to keep under the counter. He also added a sign saying opening the tin to let everything fall would mean whoever opened it gets no treats and the blame for nobody else getting them either. One of the two would work but he really hoped it would be the sign.

Joyce came in before any of the kids, smiling when she noticed the music tin, “Will’s mentioned this a lot this month. Where did you get it?”

“My parents sent it with a few other things at the start of the month, they didn’t say where it’s from though, sorry.” Steve admitted, double checking Will wasn’t with her before offering her a cookie from his baking tin. “Are you returning the videos Will borrowed last week?”

“Yes, did we keep them for too long?” She sounded worried, but Steve was already shaking his head.

He quickly scanned them once they’d been handed over explaining, “Robin and I always put family and friends rentals on the longer time for the normal price. We call it a benefit of working here, as long as Keith doesn’t realise.”

“That’s sweet of you. Thank you for that and the cookie. I’m sure you’ll see the kids later.” She waved as she left.

A while after Joyce’s visit Lucas, Will, Mike and Dustin all came in, bickering over who’s turn it was to open the tin, though the main consensus was that it definitely wasn’t Dustin’s.

“Wait a sec, is that there because of what you’re giving us or because you’re annoyed that we keep dropping everything?” Lucas cut off his reasoning over why it should be his turn when he spotted the sign, going over to look between Steve and the tin curiously.

Steve gave him a smirk. “Open it and find out,” He goaded.

With a wary glance at him, Lucas sensibly left the tin where it was, trying to get his nails between the base and main body of the tin to lift it off. “Both. You did this so it’s both.” He grumbled, having to stretch his hand to avoid any of the cookies in it from slipping off. “How are we meant to take the ones for the girls around if they aren’t wrapped?”

“Two options:” Steve shrugged, looking at him as the other boys seemed tempted to snatch a cookie for themselves around Lucas. “First, tell them to get themselves here and skip delivering them. Second, I have food bags here.” He held them up, knocking his baking tin against the rim of the counter as he did so.

“And we can have extra cookies this time?” Dustin asked immediately, “Or is this another day you want to have them for yourself?”

“You can take a couple extra, but you four aren’t taking all of them.” He agreed easily, bringing the tin onto the top of the counter now.

Mike and Will had already accepted the bags from him and now chorused, “Thanks Steve.” while helping themselves to their ones from the tin and a couple extra.

“Glad you like my baking.” Steve said, already turning as a customer had come up to the counter now. He was pretty sure the kids would be in the store for a while anyway. None of them had mentioned the arcade or other plans on their way in at least.

The Advent Music Box

Author's note: Doing this on a whim and the fact work gave me the music box inspiring this

Summary: Steve is sent a care package from his parents at the start of December

/\

It started with a music box.

Steve’s parents had sent him a care package that arrived on the first of December and in it was some snacks, a few items clearly intended as Christmas presents and the music box.

There was a sticker on it saying there were cookies inside it too but he took most of the morning to figure out that instead of taking a lid off like most tins needed, he had to remove the bottom of the music box.

That was what gave him the idea to fill it and challenge the kids to get the treats from inside. Since they didn’t actually go to his house very often he took it into Family Video, sure at least one of the kids would turn up sooner or later.

Perhaps he could even swing seeing them every day if he said he’d fill it with at least something small for them each day.

[dunmeshistash]

G'day, I hope you are doing well.

Ever since I finished the story of Dungeon Meshi (all supplementary material included) I've been writing down bullet points on characters in addition to in-depth synopses as a way to tidy up my rather busy mind. To this end I've also greatly enjoyed reading other folks' interpretations of particular characters, as it gives me further insight into aspects of that character I may have glossed over.

However, there's one character I'm struggling to write a cohesive synopsis about, that being none other than 'miss enigma' herself, Falin Touden. I get that her whole shtick is that she's kind of a mystery, but I find myself drawing a lot of blanks when it comes to her as a character, and while I have nailed down some important bullet points, there are a lot of different interpretations on her, all of which starkly contrast one another. Though perhaps it's just the wording. Hard to say.

It could very well be that I'm being too dense i.e. perceiving "Falin is willing to risk killing others to save her friends." and "Falin, in the heat of the moment, when faced with certain death, was willing to face the prospect of harming potential passersby in a final Hail Mary to get her friends to safety." as entirely different observations. I have a hard time with those kinds of things.

With this being a hub for all sorts of observations, interpretations and cool trivia, I was wondering if you'd perhaps be willing to share how you yourself perceive Falin as a character, so I can compare notes and perhaps gain a more proper understanding of her as a character as a result. I know this question is very broad and kind of vague, but if you could spare the time I'd be most grateful.

Other than that, I wish you an excellent day.

Hello!!! I love Falin!!!!!

She *is* a mystery, we mostly know Falin through the perception other characters have of her instead of a direct deep look onto who she is, which I find very interesting. I think the best post I've seen about her (which as usual I can't remember where edit: someone linked it thank uu) I think called her perceived altruism/love "selfish" and I've been thinking about that ever since.

In that sense the way she cares so much about the comfort of people around her might be a way to keep *her own* comfort because she doesn't want to see other people suffer.

This girly died and came back to life from bones and the first thoughts she has is that she caused trouble for her loved ones

She probably has felt this way since she was a child, "because of her" that her family was torn apart "because of her" that Laios left, her mom was sick, her father had to send her away. (wasn't actually her fault but she might think it is)

I imagine ever since then Falin has done her best to not cause trouble and to make the people she loves happy, everything we know about her and the things she was doing was always for the people she loved, that's why I enjoy the post canon comic where Toshiro asks her hand in marriage again so much. The first time she considers accepting just because "might as well" while for the second time she finally wants to live for herself.

I think Falin herself has lost who she "really is" by trying to accommodate everyone around her and that's probably part of why we ourselves don't really know her, so much so that the most cynical character is uncomfortable around her (probably cause he notices Falin is "hiding" something)

I think Falin is quite the melancholic character to be honest, someone who has lost herself in self sacrifice and who is only now learning how to live for herself doing what she wants.

Both the teleportation scene and the bit about healing show "cracks" in the selfless front she puts out tbh. By context I don't think what she did was only due to "desperation of the moment" she says out loud "Even if I end up hurting others I want you and my brother to live on". She weighted out how much suffering she might cause and decided she wanted to save them anyway, and I'm sure in that calculation she knew that they would suffer because of her sacrifice too.

Falin is saving them for herself, I'm not great with words so this is all over the place and maybe sounds a little negative about Falin but the thing is, you cannot live your life for other people, you can't sacrifice yourself for other people's happiness, you shouldn't erase your own presence so others are happier and I think Falin is starting to learn that by the end.

I'd probably keep rambling without getting anywhere and missing a lot of more meaningful moments but I'll stop here, if anyone has recs for Falin analysis please share!