#MANY THOUGHTS HEAD FULL AAAAAAAAAA

[i-am-not-a-who-i-am-a-what]

so about the header that proceeded today's statement:

Viability as agent: Low

Viability as subject: None

Viability as catalyst: Medium

i didn't know what to think of this part of the entry at first, but the longer the statement went on... was the institute in this universe trying to manufacture avatars?

the dice can't do anything without someone to use them, they can't be an "agent" by themselves, but might be capable of manipulation, so in that aspect their viability is "low."

the dice could be a "subject" in the sense that they could use further studying, but the statement itself was a very thorough investigation of their workings, so in that aspect their viability is "none."

the dice seem to influence their holder to roll them, or at least find more victims to roll them, and could therefore be described as a "catalyst" for someone's becoming. but, as seen in the statement, their owner can give the dice to someone else (albeit not without consequences), so in that aspect their viability is only "medium."

so what about the line following all this, what does "Recommend referral to Catalytics for Enrichment applicability assessment" mean? if we go by this interpretation, i'd say it could mean the institute wanted to find a way to make the dice even more potent as an artifact, maybe even remove that pesky ability for their owner to reject them.

imho all of this this brings a whole new level of context to the events of episode seven, of unknown violent agents going after an influx of objects that seemed straight out of artifact storage. was that the nature of the titular "magnus protocol" first mentioned in episode four, the one that involved the starkwall group? containing or destroying potential artifacts before the institute could get their hands on them?

it also makes their "gifted kids program," and sam's link to it as one of the kids being studied, all the more horrifying to think about. was it not just avatars in general they were after, but child avatars specifically? no wonder gertrude got so defensive over the possibility of sam and celia dragging gerry back into the institute's business last episode, we all picked up on her clearly knowing more than she's letting on but now we might know the shape of that information a bit better.

and one final bit of food for thought... this statement had a lot of familiar themes, didn't it? free will or the illusion of it, gambling and not-so-random chance, the statement giver being done in by one final hit from what feels like a bit of an addition... all hallmarks of a certain mother of puppets. doesn't it seem fitting that "chester" would use this kind of statement to warn sam about what harm pursuing the magnus institute could bring to him, considering the one his voice might draw from? and doesn't it seem so painfully ironic that his warning seems to have only driven sam further into that web?

[everybodyknows-everybodydies]

The world is white.

The world is always some degree of white in Winterhold, some degree of pale monochrome, but this silence is… wrong. It takes Mirabelle a moment to realize the un-silence is the ringing in her ears muffling everything else.

An unfocused dark shadow interrupts the sea of white. Mirabelle blinks, once, twice; slowly, slowly, her vision clears a little; a hazy Faralda is leaning over her, wild curls haloed around her tight face. Saying something. Something important, surely; Faralda has never wasted a word.

“What? What is it?” Mirabelle tries to say, but can’t work her jaw, can’t hear either of them over the loud echo of nothing in her ears and some awful taste in her mouth and a heat—somehow both familiar and unfamiliar—that has caught her right hand. She tries to spit out whatever is in her mouth and is illogically self-conscious that she nearly chokes on it instead.

She can’t move. Why can’t she move? The warm tell-tale glow of restoration magic at her chest, where it feels like a mammoth has sat down. Ah—she recognizes, or remembers, or it only starts now that everything hurts. Pain clenches through every muscle. There, at least: sound beginning to seep faintly, barely, back in. “…going to need at least another three hours of this,” Colette is saying, her reedy voice on edge as ever, but with a sincere and tearful panic Mirabelle is unused to hearing from her. Take deep breaths, she wants to remind her, but her tongue is heavy in her mouth and tastes of metal. She can’t take a deep breath. “It’s too much. It’s too much. I haven’t got enough magicka to last that long.”

“Use mine. Take mine.” Faralda sounds utterly grim. That isn’t what she’s supposed to sound like, Mirabelle thinks vaguely as the world fades out again. Where has her eternal wry humor gone?

 ---

This is already much longer than she should have been able to go. The light keeps sputtering out in her hands, her magicka taut and ragged and wispy as a fraying thread on the verge of snapping. “I can’t,” Colette chokes. “I need both hands here. I can’t do it. I can’t do it.”

Poor Savos was already dead before any of them could reach him. It will be much worse, she imagines, a little distant from herself, to have Mirabelle die like this, under her own ineffective shivering fingertips.

There’s too much to knit together where she can’t see, too much displaced, misaligned; she’d straightened out the spine first to try to help get everything else closer to where it belongs, but Mirabelle had only opened her eyes to spit out a horribly solid chunk of something bloody with an awful gurgling sound and gasp, frighteningly shallow. Lungs. Ribs. The heart at least seems fine for now, and thank Mara for small miracles, but the abdominal cavity, which is disorganized on a good day—she thinks with a sudden fierce passion that she has always hated the abdominal cavity—

Faralda’s mouth is a grim line across from her. “You have to,” she says, never looking up. “You have to. This isn’t—it’s not—”

A shadow. A hand on her shoulder. She prepares to snap that she has told everyone to stay well away to let them make their futile attempt in isolation, terrified at the thought of the whole College audience to her impending certain failure, but it dies in her throat. Uncharacteristically pale and unsmiling, Kharish kneels beside her. “The thing in Labyrinthian,” she says, quieter than Colette has ever heard her, “knew how to siphon. I hadn’t…” She shifts her jaw. “I know what it feels like, now. I can try to—to replicate it, in reverse. To help. So you can cast uninterrupted.”

“You won’t last long enough either,” Faralda says, voice hard and glinting. She thrusts out a hand, palm upwards, long fingers rigidly straight. “I said use mine and I meant it. You can’t let her—” She snaps her teeth together suddenly and doesn’t finish the thought, as if biting off the word could prevent its happening, as if it isn’t already hanging in the air ready to outlast all their scrabbling efforts. “You will not,” she says at last, with a terrible finality, and says no more.

“I’m sorry I’m not very good,” Kharish admits, an embarrassed little tremor to her voice, “at dual casting.” She takes Faralda’s outstretched hand.

The rush of foreign magicka blazes so hot and so sudden that for half a second Colette is convinced there will be a print on her shoulder forever, and the end of a curl that has fallen into her eyes briefly catches fire—but it’s there.

Lungs first. She pulls the ribs straight, smooths out the tissue, moving with the airflow. Follow a breath in and out: less ragged, less wet. Good. Again. Again.

Again.

---

It is much later than she would have expected when it shifts and the wild heat burns out at last, replaced by something else, soft in the way of freshly-sanded wood. Faralda huffs out a breath, shivering—Colette has never seen Faralda shiver before—and says, hoarse, “I’ve got it. I can keep on.” She has not let go of Mirabelle’s hand. They will be here all night, and Faralda will not let go of her hand. The way her mouth is set, she looks as though she might never let go again.

“Take a moment to recover,” Colette says through gritted teeth, concentrating on the way the liver fits into place. “She and I can manage just fine until then.”

“How—how much longer do you think…” Kharish wets her lips. Her grip on Colette’s shoulder tightens for a moment.

She’s afraid to look, Colette thinks. “She’s breathing fine now,” she tells her, which does not really answer the question but is all she can do for now. And that is good. She sets after the tangle of the abdominal cavity, which she has decided lamentingly is her archnemesis. It does not seem nearly so insurmountable as it had when the sun was still up, though, and holding fast to the thought that whatever else she manages, Mirabelle has time now, she presses on.

Kharish’s magicka runs dry much sooner than Faralda’s had. Colette has barely begun knitting the intestines back into shape when the wood-soft feeling splinters away, leaving only her own, unaugmented. Immediately Faralda is there again, scorching. “Sorry,” Kharish croaks out, alarmed, “I didn’t ask if you were ready—”

“Yes. Yes.” Faralda shakes her head once, hard, as if waking up. “Please.”

After a moment spent studying her haggard face, Colette says, “You are both keeping a reserve so I don’t have two more people to worry after, aren’t you? Aren’t you?”

“Ye-es,” winces Kharish, which is so painfully and clearly a lie that Colette would laugh if she didn’t also have much more concerning things at hand.

“Don’t worry about me,” says Faralda; “I will be as irresponsible about it as I need to be.”

This is not reassuring in the slightest, but it does get them through the abdomen.

---

The sky has begun to grey into dawn when Colette shakes Kharish’s hand off her shoulder and says, “Give me her hand, that’s all now.”

Faralda’s expression contorts about thirteen different ways in the span of half a second before she lets go. “That’s all,” she says, almost disbelieving.

Kharish opens her eyes. “We did it?”

“Well—it will be a few weeks before we should expect to see her in the halls, certainly, but,” she swallows and sits back on her heels, rubbing her palms on her thighs where they’ve gone numb from the constant channeling, “yes.”

Faralda laughs, far higher than usual, and then says suddenly, “Oh. I’ve got to sit down.”

“You are sitting down,” Colette says, exasperated. “I told you to hold back a reserve—”

“I’m not sitting down. I’ll go to tell—to tell everyone.” A stupid giddy smile on her face, Kharish pauses halfway to her feet, swaying dangerously, like a drunkard. “Oh,” she says. “Hang on. I’ve got a really good one to celebrate. Do you know the difference between a joke and a rhetorical question?”

“This is not the time for your nonsense,” Colette begins to bark, and then with a whuff Kharish pitches backwards into the snow. Mouth agape, Colette stares for a moment, then whips her head around to Faralda, who has only prevented her own collapse by propping herself up against the stone wall of the bridge first. “Really!” She stands, knees wobbling most unfortunately, and sends up the flimsiest magelight that possibly ever was cast. It does the job, at least—a shout, and a handful of dark shapes come running from town. “I have to do everything myself!”

---

Mirabelle opens her eyes to the soft glow of candlelight. Colette freezes in the doorway. “Oh, your timing is awful.” She hurries to amend, “That is—I am very glad to see you awake. But I’ve just gotten her to leave—are you really awake this time? Say something, and I’ll tell her you said hello or—whatever it is you like!” And then she’s sniffling violently, which is alarming, and says with startling intensity, “None of you are ever scaring me like this again! Promise me, Mirabelle!”

Mirabelle, bewildered, tries to sit up and finds she has been buried under what appears to be every blanket in the building. She opens her mouth—there was a foul taste, or something, she recalls, but it isn’t there now. “I think,” she manages around the dryness of her tongue, “I need some water, and then you can explain what exactly… happened.” She licks at her lips, thoughtfully flexing the fingers of her right hand. Something warm there, too, she remembers, and something tingles at the back of her neck. “And if it’s alright,” she pushes at the mountain of blankets, “I think I would rather a fire.”

[kroosluvr]

persona is not even that "bad" of a thing to be obsessed with. its *extremely* popular, both casually and obsessively. i think your art is great. i actually downloaded all your p2 art because there is not enough of p2 art in general (not to repost of course, fuuuuuck reposters, but to look at it again later even if i dont have wifi). i think your art is worthy of that. but even if it wasnt, its not healthy to bottle yourself up forever. if you want to express yourself, even if its fandom, even if its not something you can show off to non-fans, that matters. you deserve to be able to do that no matter what imo. and if its not safe to express yourself around your 'friends' like that, they suck. being able to complete rendered art like you have is genuinely a feat. ive always wanted to "draw" but ive never been able to get past shitty sketches on paper even when i had ideas. most people dont even try at all, even when they love something a lot. so i think you should be proud your love has "bore fruit" i guess. you can point to your work as the labor of your love. thats something really nice, i think. i hope you dont take any of this the wrong way (im not great at conveying tone) i mean all of this 100% on your side.

THANK YOU FOR YOUR KIND WORDS ANON!!!! ;-; (DONT WORRY AT ALL RE: YOUR TONE BTW AA)

prsona fandom has always been so kind to me.......... ;-; <3 there r so many cool creators here... fanartists and fanfic writers and EDITORS and VOICE ACTORS and i think everyone is so cool and inspirational im so glad to be a part of it all EVEN JUST A LITTLE BIT,.... UEUE

but thank you so much really.. ;-; <3 im just glad my art shows my love hehe..... thats all that matters to me bc i have so much love and i need to put it all somewhere

(and re: p2 art omg.... i love p2 so much but i feel also a little shy to share my ideas(and etc) since im so new to it?!?!? i wish i got into it YEARS ago like 3-5 so it could have time to swish around in my head....... but i have so many sketches aaaa I JUST GOTTA FINISH THEM... i also want to rewatch+probably play is/ep myself to get FULL EXPERIENCE UWUAGHHW AT SOME POINT AAAAAAAAAA but im really happy you enjoy my p2 stuff in particular because its so new and refreshing to me and i looooove drawing stuff for p2 so much ;w; MORE TO COME I PROMISE I PROMISE I PROMISE and omgim so flattered that you thought to download my work JUST TO LOOK AT IT MORE?!?! MY HEAD EXPLODES CLEAN OFF. THANK U OMG............ //)

[windor-truffle]

many thoughts head full they're only tangentially graces related but idk where else to vent:

I feel like I should have/did already know this about myself but holy shit I (and many others) am an absolute slut for the redemption-style ship trope, the ol' "I know you and I love you and that's why I can't let you deviate into this darker place I'm stopping you I'm saving you I'm helping you I'm bringing you back." and now I'm gonna ramble abt it because aaaaaaaaaa

I swear I've loved this trope for a while now but I think analyzing graces in part heightened my awareness of it until it hit a breaking point (w an ace attorney video of all things) and I realized that *all* of my favorite ships are this way 😅 Richard and Asbel fit it of course they're like the prototype of the simplest yet effective way to enact this: a pure-hearted protagonist who believes in his friends until the end but is willing to stand against them vs the love interest coerced (and in this case also outright possessed) into very obviously morally wrong actions by the exacerbation of a flaw but ultimately saved when they can put aside their pain and embrace the help that comes with companionship and makes that pain bearable. Paragons that cling on to hope even if it makes them seem naive or causes them to get hurt sometimes along the way are SO sexy and when that hope is rewarded with what they wanted, the redemption of someone who others thought to be beyond salvation, I the audience am also bursting into tears I don't care if it's cliche it's SO GOOD 😭

You know which other popular ship does this? Not hard to figure out I already mentioned Ace Attorney but yeah Phoenix Wright changed his whole career just because he heard that the hero who once stood up for him when no one else would was now a ruthless prosecutor and he had to find the truth of what had happened to his beloved childhood friend Miles Edgeworth (I've made the Richass comparison before and there's even an AA AU fic for graces but I haven't read it yet 😔). The AA fandom eats this gay ship up but how can you not 💜 Edgeworth being stopped in his tracks by this incessant bluffing optimistic man who stood fast against his selfishness (paraphrasing something Edgeworth literally says in JFA 😅) until he starts to question himself (because of some "unnecessary feelings") and eventually actually believes in himself after years of feeling guilt over a crime he thought he committed and shame of letting down the beliefs his supposed victim instilled him (the same beliefs that Phoenix is determined to bring out in him again) and ultimately leaves to figure out what his goal as a prosecutor really is then returns for my all-time favorite case Farewell and Turnabout and now it's Edgeworth's turn to say "I've learned what I stand for and the lengths to which I'd go to maintain it because you set me on this journey, now it seems it's your turn to walk this same path of doubt and discovery but don't worry I'll be right beside you, I'll walk it with you so you don't have fear going as far astray as I once did." Like. ;_;

But holdup I'm not done naming ships 'cause Fluri also does this to an extent. Yuri has to call out Flynn when it becomes apparent his blind trust in his mentor has made him complacent in the very crimes he sought to fix from within, and Flynn retorts by condemning the methods that Yuri has resorted to, the "dirtying of his hands," though I'd argue though that Yuri's double homicide is actually not a deviation from his morality but rather an extreme fulfillment of it. But it's still delightful though the way they have to pull each other back from the pitfalls of their own brands of justice, ie. entrusting too much power in fallable governments vs. appointing yourself the power to decide who gets to live or die. And like the previously mentioned ship, this pair works the best when they combine their different approaches (everything about how they infiltrate Ragou's manor is brilliant) because that way they can keep each other in check. It's almost like finding the balance in enacting justice is the theme of these games or something 😅

Last ship I wanna mention isn't even in canon but I can't resist the opportunity to plug my own (unfinished 😓) sormik fic "Falling Awake" because this is DEFINITELY what I was going for, a Mikleo threading the line of morality out of both despair and desperation to see their dream fulfilled even if the cost is steep, and a Sorey who struggles to reconcile whether this fallen seraph before him really is his friend or whether he can even be saved. A Mikleo who places the decision of whether to cross that line fully in Sorey's hands, trusting him to make the right call even as he begs him to let him do this, and a Sorey who can't let down the dreams of their past by allowing this particular tainted method to be its fulfillment. Everytime I work on it I start weeping even though I'm the one who wrote it 😅

Before I wrap this up though I wanna shoutout some variations of this trope, because it can obviously go a lot of different ways. I know V's rather fond of the more twisted love version in which instead of trying to bring their loved one back from the brink they jump off together, a la Kresnik Bros Bad End Best End 😁 In some ways I almost think this trope is "purer" because rather than trying to restore their beloved to what they think they should be (morally good) they embrace them as they are (amoral but kinda sexy bc of it 😂). True love lets the world burn 💜

Also worth mentioning is the delicious variation wherein the fallen party really was bad from the start, such as being a mole for an evil group, but caught feelings along the way and started wanting to be the kind of person the other seemed to think they already were. Dramatic irony is my fave and there's so much angst you can tease as the character evolves from "haha I'm deceiving them can't wait to betray them" to "shit I'm actually so much happier here with them but our relationship is built on a lie and when it comes out that I am a villain I will be undone and have nowhere to turn except from whence I came but I no longer want to be there." I feel like there's a lot of instances of this trope but the one that came to my mind first was Shadowhand Essek from Critical Role, there's the excellent Shadowgast ship of course but I like that he has this dynamic with the whole party who have been nothing but kind to him and inspire him to want a better life despite what he's done and what he's still trapped in.

Anyway, if anyone read this far first of all thank you 💜💜💜 I really have just been stuck in fandom ramble analysis mode for the past few days it's kinda insufferable but at least tumblr blogs are a good outlet for it 😅 And secondly uhhh if any of my impassioned ship/trope descriptions remind you of a particular media/ship lmk (I feel like Soriku might fit this but I never got that far into the series). I can't say I'll get to anything right away but if it's got this kinda vibe that's like catnip to me I'll happily stash the recommendation away for a future obsession someday 😅

[seariii]

Watching episode 16+17 (frieren)

oh we are up to date now

AAAAAAAAAA IM CRYING AGAIN

I tell you every time they put those differences on how a non human character lives WAY LONGER than their beloved humans i cry

There is just something so tragic about this, about loving someone so much but still losing them, being next to them your whole life and even far beyond they are gone you loving their memory, what they stood for.... I love it... It's so sad.... So tragic

...

The second part, that need to leave your mark in the world... And let that alone, having that dream and wanting to make it come true with your loved one...

AND NOW HE HAS TO GO TO A DIFFERENT ROUTE!!!

NEW OPENING oh it's so chill. I'm gonna have to look for it's lyrics

FERN PUTTING HER FROZEN HANDS ON STARK S FACE LOVE THAT

The way they keep the priest in the party for another month feels like the snow storm is holding him at gun point

NOT FERN GETTING ANGRY BECAUSE STARK DID THE SAME TO HER!!!! okay she knows- oooooh!!! She got scared at that!!!! Okay that makes WAY MORE SENSE

NOT SEIN SHIPPING THEM

Ow ... Himmel was her reason... (Diary alert)

Inspiration reaching you through other people.... You wanting to inspire other people... That got to me...

Just... Rose's message yesterday (I think? My perception of time is messed up)... Just ... I've always wanted to be someone who smiles, someone who brings peace to others, someone strong... But I've never truly felt like I was, and to think that I actually inspired someone... And that I actually bring some sort of comfort to others.... It's just.... Impressive...

I truly never thought I could actually do that... Creature's "people love you more than you are aware of" .... And people looking out for me.... Heh.... I don't deserve all that... But... It's soft and warm how sweet everyone is... And the other day my best friend told me that "people don't need a reason to love you, and even so you give everyone many reasons to do so" ...

To think that a way or another my silly little me has reached other's hearts ... It's impressive.... It's unbelievable... It's warm...

"people need someone to comfort their hearts" "no one will be mad that they get comfort from others"

Yeah... When I get sick I just want someone to sit beside me and caress my head... When I feel sad, I just want someone to hug me and tell me that I am loved...

When she remembered Himmel holding her hand I cried again... This anime really knows how to pull my heart strings...

Just... Being someone who has so much trouble connecting with others, living in a world full of shadows, surrounded by people who don't care... And then meeting people who change that... Meeting people who aren't just shadows and actually make you want to enjoy their warmth...

You know it's funny how I don't kin Yuno, but in some senses I'm just like her, and even use her same metaphors...

What if.... I just keep giving back to the world... Giving back to these sweet people.... What if... For just a little longer.... Before it's time to part, I just enjoy this warmth... This kindness... This small place where I feel like I belong... What a pretty feeling....

[ignemia]

The Rose Sky

The day of the Rose sky (22/05/1974) - Tale of Juliana Hatcher

Waking up at 7:30 am as usual, I head to the job I’ve held for years. My boss is a little nerdy but very cute, and we’ve never had a problem.

As a researcher of deep-sea microfauna, I work under the dean of our research facility. Today, new samples from the middle of the Mediterranean Sea arrived. Let's see if we find something more interesting than that boring mycelium from the Nordic Sea.

Looking into my microscope, something seems off. The sample isn’t lit properly even though the lamp is at full blast. What’s going on? I decide to turn on the main lab lighting. Shuffling to the switch, I check the clock—it’s already 10:21 am. I haven't even eaten breakfast yet. Well, I'll do that after I examine the new sample. I turn on the light and walk back to the table. It’s still a bit underlit, but at least I can see better. I spot something strange: the bacteria appear fully bioluminescent. In the visible spectrum? In the ultraviolet spectrum? What’s going on? No organism should do that. Did we discover a new type of defence mechanism? Why is this sample breaking established rules?

I need answers, but I need breakfast more. I write down my observations and head to the company-issued personal fridge for my Greek yoghurt. Checking the time, it’s already 11:15 am. Today is flying by. Well, interesting samples can't be blamed for enjoying my work so much. I take my yoghurt and sit at my writing table to check measurements from previous samples for similar abnormalities. Then I get an idea. Could the sample react to proteins with natural bioluminescence, like Vibrio fischeri? I place a teaspoon of my yoghurt onto a petri dish and finish my meal. Without washing the bowl, I quickly run to test the hypothesis.

First, I separate a small sample size. Next, I run the necessary tests to check for proteins in the water. The tests return positive, so I might be on the right track. With precision, I place about 1 gram of yoghurt onto another petri dish and pour the separated water from the sample in there. I turn to my journal to write down my observations. It’s 12:34, and as I start writing, a flash of blinding light surrounds me.

“Well, that was a bit too much bioluminescence,” I think, wiping my eyes. I’m temporarily blind. I stumble to the door, cautious not to destroy anything, and call for help. I hear someone outside screaming, “Aaaaaaaaaa, I can't see!” Thinking it’s my fault, I try to open the door to apologize and find help, but more screams fill the air. My experiment was too small to cause widespread blindness. Then I heard it: “Are you seeing this? Is it just me, or is the sky pink?”

I enter the hall and run toward the person who can see, trying not to stumble. A glimmer of light enters my eyes. It’s not the typical midday sun—it’s warmer, yet colder. How is that possible? Trying to make sense of the shade, I recognize the light from the sample. Could my experiment have caused this? How? I need answers.

As I head towards the voice, I remember I need to visit the medical room. But I realize a worrying thought: it will be full of people like me. Some will see a little, some fully, and some might still be blind. How many injuries occurred when we saw the flash of light? How harmed are people? My sight is slowly returning. I should go back to my lab and wait it out. I won’t see the pink sky the voice mentioned. From what I can see, the sky is probably the same shade of pink as the sample shined. Soon, I hope to see clearly again and remain motorically competent enough not to harm myself.

I'm slowly making my way back to my lab, thinking about everything that happened today. Is it a coincidence? Is it all related? How can it be? I reach my lab’s doorstep, open the door, and immediately faceplant onto the ground over the doorstep. How did I forget about it? Picking myself up, my hands slide in front of my chest to push myself onto my feet when suddenly—Ouch—I cut my ring finger on my right hand. An expletive escapes my mouth. I stand up, holding my ring finger closed to prevent bleeding everywhere. I have some napkins I can tie around the cut on my table. Today is either the best or the worst day of my life.

When I get back to the table, I blindly search for the napkins. Suddenly, the light entering my eyes changes. It’s fiery orange, and I feel like my desk is on fire. How could that be? I don’t work with fire on my writing desk. It must be my body overreacting to the cut. There hasn't been a fire in this lab for months, and I don’t even have scented candles like at home. I keep searching for napkins. Unfortunately—OUCH—my index finger is burnt. The fire is real. My desk is actually on fire. How is this happening? I close my index finger to my palm; the pain from the burn makes me forget about the cut for a split second. I try to whoosh the fire away. I cannot find the fire alarm in my office while I’m blind. I’m not even sure I have one here. I swipe my right hand, minus the burnt index finger, over the fire, trying to extinguish it.

GRSHCK I hear my window break, but the light in my eyes returns to pinkish-purple. The table is no longer on fire. I touch the spot where it was—there is no table. Did I somehow throw my table out the window? How could I do that? My hand was injured, and the table was made of wood, weighing around 50 kilograms. I can't lift that much, especially when it was on fire. But indeed, I did throw my desk out the window. I realize this when I hear from outside, "What is one of our expensive tables doing out in the park? And whose burnt research is this?" I know it’s mine, but I am too stunned to answer. I just threw a 50-kilogram table through a glass window without touching it.

My vision is slowly improving, and I’m trying to understand what has happened, what has been happening all day. A funny thought passes through my mind. “Magic is real, apparently.” I chuckle But then I give it serious thought. It’s the only reasonable explanation for the fire starting and, though not how I intended, being put out. So I try to pull my index finger back to my palm and extend all other fingers. I make a circular motion with my hand. This is a massive mistake. I feel the air around me starting to swirl into a loop, creating a sort of tornado. It’s getting stronger and stronger. I need to stop it. But how? I stop the motion of my hand, but the only thing that happens is that the tornado stops getting stronger. This is not good—all my samples must be destroyed, all my research lost. I do the only thing that comes to mind. Once again, I pull my index finger to my palm, stick out all other fingers, and make a circular motion in the opposite direction. The more I do it, the weaker the wind gets.

So in the end, it’s true. Magic is real. And I think I’ve found the next topic of my research.

[existsarchive]

HERE COMES THE CHAOTIC BASTARD!!!!!

[mrgladstonegander]

DUCKFAM HOW ARE WE FEELING

[alexhasalotofthoughts]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[seacollectsrivers]

HI OFMD LIVE REACTION NOTES INCOMING

EPISODE NINE LEGGO

"Act of Grace" -> "A Mercy" prob not connected but hhhh terror brain go brrrr

rest under the read more!

The opening flag is the same one as in ep 1, and it is being TREAD ON by NAVY >:((

I love the Revenge crew sm jkfhgk

GHOST. HAUNTING. IMMEDIATELY.

O fuck i man of course they are but i didn't realise they were still on board Stede's ship. Shifting of power, of roles.

SWEETIE. BABE. I LOVE THEIR LOVE.

I'm so curious about Frenchie hahaha what's his story!! He's been in service, he's way more superstitious than any of the others, he's "born for this kind of espionage". What's up!!

Are they gonna. Are they gonna do some fuckery. Art of fuckery!!!!

Frenchie hhhh i love you but oh my god.

FANFICTION

oh no stede…… oh nooooo

BUT also 👀 The story is true, the story is untrue!!

true love is taking the fall for the other's crime

yeah why WOULD he lie, hm, STEDE

i'm dying i'm dead

i hate these gay bitches (i dont)

the flashbacks without any sound that only last for a second or so are so good. they did it in earlier episodes too.

IZZY IS THERE. OH MY GOD??????

The way they've placed themselves is very good and ofc reminiscent of actual court. Judge/navy high up, pirates/accused way low

i see their hostage 👀

oh no izzy…….. :(((( not captain hands……. friend of the crown???? i'm so worried about himmmmmm

not the fucking wave fhgjkdjfkh WITH THE GLOVED HAND TOO i'll die

"he gave us up" yeah he did :(((

aw stede. you did Mary dirty but you don't deserve death, babe

PUNCH YEAH OKAY

LOYALTY TO YOUR CAPTAIN

the way the crew cover their eyes :((

"destroy yourself"

HUMANE WAY see i'm hmmm. thoughts. about izzy and how he never like…. kills stede. despite the multiple opportunities.

AAAH they're going for privateer Stede NOW omg

oh shit!! real pirates, he's from my world, rigidity of class, head full!!

Lucius ;__; <3

oooh my god the plant has GROWN!! it's a real plant! symbolism!

They love him!! the crew loves stede!! heart full!!

fucccck me ok so. izzy did this so ed wouldnt destroy himself. and he seriously i guess couldnt see how much stede means to ed now, so he completely overlooked this possibility: a destruction of blackbeard through legality.

lmaoooo the law works as intended and admiral is big mad.

"ten human years?"

"you really don't have to do this" "yeah i know i don't" hello they love each other!!

idk you wrought this a bit, izzy

oh an X!

oh noo. back in society = losing all his individuality.

OH WORM. STEDE IS A GHOST.

OH NO HDFHKH BEARD

aaaaaah the losing of identityyyyyy. stede is a ghost blackbeard has literally lost his beard.

i do love how resigned ed is. not even resigned, he's right down accepting. this is his retirement.

izzy jesus christ jfghkghgkjh

not izzy's revenge 😭

STEDE MAKES ED HAPPY

at this point i let out a noise so concerning my cat came in to check on me :)

if stede blows this i'm gonna. explode.

he didn't blow it he said THE ONLY THING i'm still gonna explode :)

NOW he wants to escape aaaaaaaAAAA

TWO LIVES. MAKE THEIR OWN LIFE.

Olu it's you :)

hhhh why do so many stories go this route. please ofmd show how bad of a choice "the only good captain hates being a captain" is

they cut to the crew and i'm normal and then they cut to the Boys and i keep REMEMBERING aaaaaaaaaa

i feel like. this isn't gonna go well. :(

i. dont. like. this.

o fuck

is this not the same path where Stede first fought Izzy, for the hostages? probably just that they don't have THAT many locations but 👀

"Stede Bonnet is not a human" yeah he's a GHOST

"to ruin" for LOVE

!!! IS IT JIM!!!!!!

OH I MISUNDERSTOOD damn dude just tripped okay

oh noooooooooooooooooooo fuck

wow, well presumptious Ed. i get that you're a bit heartbroken now but damn. you can't just like. take the position back again.

NO WAY NOOOO STEDE

oh my god Mary hello. with the women's club. alright alright alright alright.

they're BOTH SO PRESUMPTIOUS FHDGJDS you can't just,,,,, fit back into your old life,,,,,

[dannyboyzone]

samuel one shot?🥺

Note; This is angst with a happy end, it doesn't have a name, so if you would like to name it, you are free to do so. Since the topic is not specified, I wrote whatever I felt like writing. Y/n will have they/them pronouns so everyone feels comfortable. If you don't, just change it in your head.

TW - Depression, mentions of suicide.

Today has more than 7 billion stories. So many people are experiencing it differently, yet so similarly.

Someone died today, and another person was born. Maybe they will change the world, or destroy it.

A student is celebrating passing his exams, while an adult across the world is crying in their dark room thinking about that they never had the chance to tell their parents that 'hey, I am trans, please accept me.'

Everyone has their own struggles, so why?

Why is Y/n pitying themselves so much? They keep asking themselves that.

They are so stuck up on their own self, just hurting about minor things. Like small sentences, that their old neighbour probably already forgot about. Things their family already forgot about.

Yet they keep asking themselves; Why do they care so much?

Even now, when they are crying their eyes out. Their knees are pulled up to their chest, sitting on the edge of the rooftop. They can't bring themselves to jump off, even though they crave death so much.

Who are they to be in pain so much when others have to go through war, confrontation, missing someone they can never get back?

" AAAAAAAAAA "

Y/n yelled out to the thin air, even though they were sure even people from a few miles away could hear. It didn't really matter though, holding it back was harder than caring for other's around right now.

That what caused them to be a mess anyway, caring for others that much. Running a hand through their hair, they started to rip it and shake their head while continuing to cry.

How pathetic, Y/N thought to themselves, leaving no other option than to repeatedly slap their own cheek.

When no one in this world cares for you, it's hard to care for yourself.

" Hey, are you done putting on a show there? " they were interrupted by a deep, husky voice.

Y/n sniffed and turned around a bit. Hanging one of their legs freely off the rooftop, while resting the other on their lap.

They raised their brow at the sight of the unknown man coming closer to them.

Man.. ? The closer he got, the more obvious it was that he must be a teenager, just really buff.

He still had a bit of baby fat on his cheeks, which was quite cute, as Y/n would think.

It's quite funny though.

The neighbourhood they are in is pretty old, out dated and full of graffiti everywhere. Yet this stranger is wearing such an expensive suit, that doesn't even have a single spot of dust on it.

So, what is he doing here?

Y/n sniffed, while rubbing the tears with their palm away.

" Who are you? "

The boy leaned on the barrier of the rooftop which Y/n was sitting on top of. There were only a few inches between them.

The boy took a glance at the other's eyes, swollen and red from crying. Their eyelashes were stuck together at some parts at the end, it's such a pity.

It would be a lie if he said he didn't check the person's body language out, he didn't care much, but he noticed that they were holding onto the barrier tightly.

He then took out a cigarette from his pocket, placing it in his between his lips.

" Don't you have better problems than that? " , said he, as the cigarette got put on fire.

Y/n ran a tongue through the inside of their cheek, wanting to move closer. They didn't though, as they decided that's not worth it.

They were quite raged, yet calm at the same time.

For the best guess, they wanted to be though. It was quite embarrassing to let a stranger watch your very own melt down, let alone not even be aware of it.

" Well, I have the right to know! After all, you saw more of me than what I am comfortable with! "

" .. It's Samuel. "

" Well Samuel, will you leave? I am trying to do something here! "

Samuel couldn't help but... laugh.

Do something my ass, he thought.

He took a smoke from his cigarette, and looked up at the sky. It was a really sunny sunday, perfect to just sit back and enjoy life. Sadly, not everyone could.

" Go ahead then, jump. "

Y/n blinked, what the fuck?

" Excuse me, how fucking insensitive are you? "

Samuel just shrugged a shoulder, in a nonchalant way. " So what? "

He put his cigarette out, turning his head towards Y/n.

That moment, their face was met with smoke. They couldn't help but cough, it felt so terrible.

This guy, is a complete fucking asshole. How can a person be so.. heartless? It's like there is no soul in their eyes. Truly, no one cares.

Y/n wanted to slap him, but as soon as they raised their hand, their wrist was squeezed. Samuel held their hand in the air, making it feel stuck. Their eyes met, and Y/n got shivers down their spine.

He has to let go, now.

" Someone who wants to die doesn't mind smoke in their face. They will be dead anyway, won't they? "

Y/n was in disbelief, but they could barely hear.

They were so afraid of falling off, they couldn't help but shake.

The ground was so far away, it could kill anyone. If anything were to fall, it would end the lives of the people walking by.

Samuel walked a few steps closer, watching as Y/n's eyes got filled with tears and fear yet again.

" ... You are scared of falling of, now that you don't have anything to hold onto. "

Y/n's head was filled with different kind of thoughts, but what scared them above above anything else, that this guy is right.

There is something in him, that Y/n isn't quite aware of, but finds comfort in. Admitting it is not an option, for now, they kept moving, as much as they could.

" Let go of me! "

With that, their wrist was free again. It had quite a big red mark over it, which didn't matter all that much. It would fade by night anyway.

Y/n immediately faced the door to the stairs, which was quite far away. They backed up, their breath becoming quicker and quicker. Staring down at the people underneath them.

They couldn't move backwards for long, because Samuel stood their, pressing the front of their body to Y/n's back. At least they didn't fall backwards to the cement floor of the rooftop.

" Jump, if you wish so that bad. Don't let me stop you. "

He rested their chin on the top of their head, and slid his hands in the pockets of his pants.

" I don't get you, how am I different? The elderly couple you would fall on, the flower shop owner, the boy drawing graffiti on the walls and that little girl in the cherry socks who had met her dad for the first time today.. they would all see you fall. So why does it matter if I see you?... Actually, don't answer me. It's because you wouldn't have to face them, but would have to remember me. They would all remember you for a life though. "

Y/n shut their eyes tight.

Who the fuck does he think he is?

They were filled with hatred and frustration, moving their fingers on the barrier that they held so tightly onto. Y/n wanted to escape, but quite frankly, they didn't know how to react.

Because the shittiest part of it all? No matter how rough it sounds, he is right. No one likes confrontation, but it doesn't mean it's always a lie.

Jumping off would be no use to anyone here. Maybe sometimes, all of us just want someone to hear the desperate yell of our actions. To pull us back in. The universe may not always serve it as you would expect it though.

Y/n let out a sigh, more so to even their breath, and carry their thoughts in another direction.

" So, what do you want from me? "

" I don't know if you know, but you talk while thinking. Why do you care so much about others? They don't want to be pitied, and some people that are better off from you, have these exact same thoughts and might think of you. But they don't help, like you don't help their situation either. So why not help yourself? "

Huh.. He must break hearts often.

The voice belonging to the cold hard truth was like a river.

It was ice cold, causing either tragedies or beautiful memories.

He stepped back, fixing his messy hair. That was the first time Y/n noticed that his knuckles had bruises on them.

That left a lot of questions, is he a gangster? But he is too clean for that. Maybe a CEO? But what would he do there then?

Y/n could have paced out for a bit, because the next thing they have noticed is Samuel walking down the stairs, back facing them, holding his hand up as a sorry excuse of a wave.

" When you are able to admit that you want a new life instead of death, you can come and I will show you a whole new world. "

Y/n looked down on their hand, taking a glance at a tiny old toy. It was simply a tiny plastic chicken, from a happy meal. It sounds ridiculous, but it was from their father, who seems to spend less and less time with them until the point they became strangers.

They always carried it around, even if it only had a meaning to them and no one else in the world.

Y/n wiped their tear, pulling their leg to the other side of the rooftop, jumping onto it.

" You sure do talk a lot compared to other assholes. " they laughed.

Unknown to what would happen next, they followed Samuel. What's the worst that could happen? At least someone wanted them by his side.

They held onto his suit, just like a lost child would.

" So, are you a gangster Mr Know It All? "

" You will find out. "

END

Outro;

Yeah, this is like.. shitty and makes zero sense our of context. But how would you react to that level of confrontation? I sure as hell don't know.

Also, Sammy went there bc was stressed bc he HAS to find new members for his part of workers.. well guess what happened next 👀

Sorry anon, I feel like this wasn't quite what you wanted, if you want to look at it as romance, if not then do not. I just couldn't imagine Samuel being madly in love, so the machine threw out this I guess. Next time please specify if there is anything you want!

[hongism]

i swore i wasn’t going to say anything about the new chapter until tomorrow and until i really process what i just read but fuck, caly. san and y/n’s conversation fucking broke me in a (good) way i can’t even describe. what they feel for each other is so beautiful and heart warming, and i can’t wait to see what will happen from now on, i love their relationship so much… it’s so intense because of how many fucked up things they both went through together and separately, but i love how open they try to be with each other and i truly love to see y/n opening up with people and just learning to process what happened to her through her life.

i was holding my breath for the entire chapter. the break in part, oh my god, so well written, my heart was beating out of my chest the entire time, it was like i was watching a movie inside my head! i also love y/n and hongjoong moments, his character is one of my favorites. i love the captain so so so much i’m dying to know more about him!!! their conversations are always so full of thought provoking things and besides that you can feel how much joong cares about y/n and every single one of the crew. he is so!!!! and the siren powers oh my fucking god the hand through the door and the HEART. easily one of my top 3 fave moc scenes, it was !!!!2)3$/) ahhhhhh!!!!!! so good!!! so g o o d!!!! fuck!!! and san…… i didn’t know how much i missed him until y/n saw him and i just broke into tears (and didn’t stop crying until the end of the chapter, but that’s another thing). you are so so so so so so good at this. i can’t even put into words anymore what i feel when i read your writing, the emotions, the beautiful way you describe what would be just simple things, your characters… you make art, that’s what you do. moc is a masterpiece. i missed it so much, thank you for sharing such a beautiful thing with us, caly <3 - 🧸

hehehe these are the asks i live for :3 im so glad u enjoyed the chapter and had so much to say aaaaaaaaaa let's get into it i can't wait !! 

the cream of the crop of the chapter san and y/n's conversation !!! really the most memorable part for me because it seriously shows their feelings and it's gonna hold a lot of weight in the future as well which i think it's something so special for them !! something about them just makes my heart so happy <33

i sure hope you ended up breathing after all YEEHAW BESTIE! im so so happy to hear the action scenes were executed well and came across well!! it felt like a movie while i was writing it hehehe but the y/n and hongjoong moments!! im so glad he's a readers' favorite bc he's one of my faves too, he's really got that air of mystery about him we'll have to see when and how that breaks down over time :3 we're finally seeing him break down and show how he cares about y/n and exactly how much the crew means to him too!!

we're finally seeing more of the siren powers as well!! seeing some funky stuffs coming around but the heart scene! the heart scene!! eeeee so good!? pls i'll sob the heart scene was an intense one but i loved writing it so much !! i'm glad it came across well and was written well !! thank you so incredibly much aaaaa ;-; i missed it so much too i missed writing it i missed talking about it and i missed sharing it with you guys the most T_T

[ticklishfanart]

Any thoughts on Shindou using his Quirk to tickle Bakugo/Kirishima/Deku?

I HAVE NEVER THOUGHT ABOUT THAT OMG??????????? THESE KIDS AND THEIR PERFECT QUIRKS ITS LIKE THEY WERE MADE TO BE LERS OK yes omg. He’d make his hand into a claw and any lee would know to R U N because he WILL vibrate that claw right into their tummy with no mercy!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAA good shit bakugou would be so FURIOUSSS agh and imagine how flustered deku would beeee aaaaaaaaAA and kirishimaaaAA head full many thoughts im so bad at this though im so sorry 

[cirrus-lily]

my first listen of resonance pt. 1!

i wanted to start doing these since i’m very interested in music and stuff and i wanna learn how to properly express musical things etc. etc. so yea!! feel free to ignore and these are just my opinions, so pls don’t come @ me thanks :)

track 1: make a wish (birthday song) - nct u (ft. taeyong, doyoung, jaehyun, lucas, xiaojun, jaemin, shotaro)

i actually really liked this, if we’re talking purely about the music (the mv is another thing....i won’t talk about that). the music was interesting all the way through and was full of unexpected twists. all the members did so well!!! but the members that really stood out to me in the mv and also just listening to the song were jaemin and xiaojun! they did so well and they nailed their parts so well!!! there’s just something very satisfying about jaemin’s rap in this song, and all of xiaojun’s parts suited him really well and it was nice to see him sing in a style that was different to the typical wayv style. also rapper jaehyun!!! his parts suited him so well and i’m so happy we got to see him do a rap-esque part hehe :) the only part i probably didn’t like was the part where there was that time-warp effect before the final chorus like that felt so out of place ... why is it there?? also where’s shotaro tho?? like i didn’t even hear him,,, if you’re gonna add a new member at least use him sm :/ | okay so i just watched the line distribution and jaemin has so little lines :((( shotaro doesn’t have many solo parts but has a lot of adlibs and honestly? good for him!! it’s really good for a debut!! doyong and lucas should’ve had more lines too :/ anyways overall i really love this song and i’m so excited to see the stages!!!

track 2: misfit - nct u (ft. johnny, taeyong, mark, hendery, jeno, yangyang, sungchan)

this is legit my favourite song so far it’s incredible!! when the song started i just started full-on vibing!! this song is so fun and has so much energy and i had no expectations at first but the track video blew me away, which made me so excited to hear the full song, and it did not disappoint :) everyone in this song SLAYED. i have nothing else to say except that because the raps were fire and each member pulled their verse off so well it continued to make me smile line after line after line. for sungchan’s debut, it was incredible to hear him spit fire like that and i am so excited to see how he grows as a rapper if he’s already this good at debut oh gosh. but my favourite part has to be mark’s second verse where the music cuts out and he keeps going and his rhythm actually speeds up once the music cuts. that blew my mind in the track video and still has the same effect on me listening to it again. the genius of cutting out the music is incredible and it adds so much not just to the rap but to the song overall. my only complaint for this song is that johnny got like...4 lines. cmon sm please give him lines he’s more than just a visual!! overall this song is something i really enjoyed and something that the members pulled off so well even though it’s so different and unexpected from nct :)

track 3: volcano - nct u (ft. taeyong, doyoung, jaehyun, winwin, jungwoo, lucas, mark) (aka nct 2018 boss unit)

what is going on in this song......at the beginning it gave me similar vibes to limitless but as i listened to more of the song, it kinda fell apart for me ;-; like the vocal parts were really good (jaehyun high note!!) and the rap parts were really good but they didn’t flow together as well as they should have, and it ended up feeling as if i was listening to the rap of one song and the vocals of another song :/ also where are sicheng’s parts?? i thought i just didn’t hear him but when i went to check all he has is like...2-3 adlibs?? why is he even in the song then it doesn’t even have choreo?? feels like boss all over again rip sicheng :’( 

track 4: light bulb - nct u (ft. taeyong, kun, doyoung, and sungchan)

wow this song...i was very fascinated by the member lineup at first, and then i heard the song and it all makes sense :) everything melds so well together, with ty and sungchan’s rapping pairing perfectly with kun and dy’s vocals, and there are kinda ‘pairs’? like ty and dy and sungchan and kun,, and their voices compliment each other so well aaaaaaa. the only part i felt weird about was the start when ty was rapping over the piano...the rhythm clashed a little but as the song went on it resolved itself thankfully. the vibes reminded me of yestoday and it’s a very different mood from the first 3 songs on the album so i’m kinda confused as to why they’ve put it as track 4 but oh well. sungchan showcased a different side of his rapping here and he’s really beginning to show himself as a very well rounded rapper so i’m actually super impressed but as expected from nct :) my favourite thing about this song has to be kun’s vocals tho. the first time you hear him in the song is when he harmonises with doyong and i tell you the way i Lost It. and every time he sang as sungchan rapped it blew my mind. and doyong and kun’s harmonies,,,, chef’s kiss. can you tell i really love this song aaaaaa okay end of ramble. i think overall i just really appreciate the change in pace of the album since the first 3 were very hype lol.

track 5: dancing in the rain - nct u (ft. taeil, johnny, yuta, kun, jaehyun, jungwoo, xiaojun, chenle)

ok this song blew my mind 🤯 firstly, can we talk about jaehyun and johnny rapping??????? i’m so happy that we got to hear them rap!! it was so beautiful :’) secondly, vocal kings!!! chenle high note!!  their voices sound so beautiful together and i’m so happy we got that in this song!! the vibes are also so pretty?? like a lofi jazzy vibe and honestly it feels like singin’ in the rain modern version and i am living :) the only minor issue i have is that because there are so many vocalists in the unit, some of them had really few lines :/ but i think they needed more people to create that effect in the chorus of a lot of people harmonising together, so we gain some we lose some i guess,, but wow i love this song so much can someone write a fic or make an mv based on this song pleaseeeeeeee i would love to see it :’) p.s. i listened to this song twice once on spotify and once on colour-coded lyrics (just to see who sang what) and the more i listen to it the more i love this song aaaaaaaaaa :)

track 6: interlude: past to present

ok this was interesting...i was so confused about the first part cos i couldn’t make sense of what was being narrated, but the second part is another story,,, it’s chock full of references - like there’s that one sound (idk how to describe it) but it’s in both the awaken the world interlude and the neo zone interlude, and the part after that is reminiscent of the punch intro thing...which is why it’s so interesting,,, would the theorists like to have a go? but honestly it was very interesting musically and very nct lmao...i have nothing left to say lol that’s it.

track 7: déjà vu - nct dream (OT7)

wow the vibes on this song are so fun!! this song really suits dream and i think it’s a fitting return for ot7 :) it’s got the playfulness of we go up with a bit more maturity which is very representative of dream’s current phase where they’re growing up but they’re still kids hehe :) i will complain about the line distribution again except everyone’s probably sick of hearing about it lol...but mark has a lot of lines and jeno and jaemin don’t sigh. the line distribution for the vocalists was really quite fair tho :) also renjun bridge!!!! it was so good!!! and haechan intro!!!! wow i love this song so much heh but my favourite part has to be the bgm,, like the dang dang sound that was in the bgm for the entire track really helps to push the song forward and adds a spring to the song that really makes it more playful and fun!! i’m super impressed by this as well since the track video didn’t make me that excited but now i really like it so i think this song was so fun :)

track 8: nectar - wayv (OT7)

let’s formally welcome nectar to the list of nct’s hoe anthems 😌 okay but that aside, i quite liked the song!! the intro was weird but once you get into the song it’s pretty okay!! it’s also slightly different from the wayv sound we’re used to but the members pulled it off well!! i love the bgm too hehe :) ten and sicheng!! i can finally hear them!! and it was so nice to hear them both sing aaaa. also wayv’s vocal line continue to astonish me...that’s the highest i’ve heard kun and dejun sing and it sound so good!!! the rap was fire too and lucas, yangyang and hendery have done it again, they sound so swag which really fits the vibe of the song!! i also love how most of the song is pretty low and starts pretty low but the vocals are such a complete contrast cos they’re so high and that really adds to the song!! i’m so wayv biased but i genuinely really do like this song and ‘gimme that nectar’ will be stuck in my head for the next 24 hours :/

track 9: music, dance - nct 127 (OT9)

this track is so hype 😳 and i enjoyed that so much!! what stood out to me more than anything else in this song was the bgm, and i love how they cut the music, yell “drop that beat!” and then the beat actually drops 🤯 also the bridge,,, a masterpiece...i thought we were gonna get a solid high note and the airy high note comes from nowhere and suddenly i’m so stunned 😳 also this album really is the return of rapper jaehyun huh :) it’s so nice to hear him rap again :) and this song is really satisfying in so many ways, like the rhythm is really good and the bass hits deep and the dance break music thing was so well timed and so well produced and oooooooh i like this track more than i expected :)) oh and ‘music, dance’ will be stuck in my head for the next 24 hours with ‘gimme that nectar’ :/

track 10: faded in my last song - nct u (ft. taeil, johnny, yuta, ten, lucas, renjun, haechan, jisung)

the way i was trying not to SCREAM throughout this song :’) IT’S SO BEAUTIFUL AAAAAA i mean it in the best way possible when i say this could be an ost it’s so beautiful :’) the VOCALS i nearly lost it when ten sang the pre chorus then nearly lost it when renjun sang the second pre chorus and then almost completely lost it during the bridge (especially cos haechan and taeil) holy moly that was a journey :’) also johnny and yuta’s rap style and lucas’ lower tone really fit so well with the song, like it didn’t take away from the sad vibes of the song but it added to the mellowness of the overall song. and can we just take a moment to talk about park jisung’s rap??? it was so short but he nailed it!!!! this entire song was a masterpiece because all their voices fit perfectly together and complement each other so well it just makes this song shine in a different way??? i have so many things that i wanna say about this song but i’m internally screaming so i’m basically incoherent lol. one thing i will say though is the bgm is so pretty and the piano is so nice :’) (also p.s. idk why but this song lowkey gives me got7 vibes but in the best way possible)

track 11: from home - nct u (ft. taeil, yuta, kun, doyoung, renjun, haechan, chenle)

i’m crying........i’m actually crying.....can they not come for me like this..........this song is so beautiful o m g :”) hearing them sing in their native languages about home is so moving?? like it hits a spot and suddenly my eyes are sweating :”) and the way that the transition from one language to another is so smooth and seamless?? like renjun and chenle are singing in chinese and suddenly yuta pops in with a line of japanese and i completely lost it lmaoooooo. and the way they all come together in the bridge is so beautiful, and taeil’s high note after!!!! and the bgm of this song suited it so well, it allowed you to focus on the vocals and still adds to the overall mood and atmosphere of the song, plus at the start it’s a bit muffled out as if it’s being played on an old record and then it becomes unmuffled and the sound is so bright :) and the way that this song sounds a little bittersweet?? i swear when the mv comes out and when i read the translations i will cry even more i’m not even ready and we still have a week to go. this was the song i was looking forward to most and honestly? it didn’t disappoint at all :)

track 12: from home | korean version - nct u (ft. taeil, yuta, kun, doyoung, renjun, haechan, chenle)

it’s just as beautiful, but with less tears lol :) there isn’t really much to say, it still flows just as well in korean as it did in 3 languages, so i think sm just wanted there to be a version that was completely in korean since nct are a korean group lol.

track 13: make a wish (birthday song) | english version - nct u (ft. taeyong, doyoung, jaehyun, lucas, xiaojun, jaemin, shotaro)

well this is interesting....the english version of the song sounds a bit like a hoe anthem (only a bit!!!) so i’m curious about the lyrics to the korean version o_O also i find it a little strange how they say ‘i can do this all day’ in the korean version but say ‘i can do this all night’ in the english version,,, like what’s the difference?? i literally don’t know why they did that but oh well :) still a great song hehe :)

overall, it’s a really interesting album!! it’s a little different from what i expected, but i still really love it!! i think the songs will grow onto me more as i listen to the album more, so yea :))

[instrawberrymoonlight]

10 Things I Love About You

Every time I watch that scene where they call you a freak I get so angry. I know it’s cliché to say they hate what they don’t understand but I firmly believe it in this case; they only superficially put up with you because you show them a way “out” to all their problems and it’s completely despicable. Self preservation prevails, I guess, at least to them and it’s insufferable and deeply saddening. 

Everything about you is brilliant and I’d never truly be able to describe the way I feel about you ever, because language is so restrictive, but at the very least I can mean the things I say. And, I do. In every sense of the word. So, just because I’m a lovesick puppy and I’ve never truly been able to convey a fraction of the feelings I have for you, I’m writing this: 10 Things I Love About You. (Yeah I know it’s a very creative list name, thank you).

                                                   One

Your smile, as silly and swoony as it sounds, captivates me. It’s contagious and lights up my world. You’re the star of the show in my universe and I could stare at your dimples and the way your eyes crease up when you smile – when you genuinely smile – forever. It’s a sight to behold and on the rare occasion it slips and I’ve been blessed with the chance of seeing it, it stays with me. It’s almost like my own precious little secret that I get to cherish and recall until the end of my days. (Also sometimes your nose scrunches when you smile and unfortunately I could only talk about 10 things so I couldn’t insert a whole paragraph on how amazing and cute your nose is so I’m putting a short except here – PLEASE LET ME KISS IT PLEASE PLEASE AAAAAAAAAA.

                                                    Two

Your eyes. There’s an intensity to them and while their darkness has struck fear in the hearts of many, it has only won mine. They’re a beautiful, unique shade – never to be replicated in another, and are distinctly you. They’re also incredibly emotive, I can always tell when you’re thinking hard about something and I can always tell, even if it’s for a split second, when something has bothered you. They’re just so diaphanous. And that’s not to say you’re easy to read but rather the insight into your soul is through your eyes; there’s also a warmth to them as well. A heat. While your touch can be cold, and I usually identify you by your chilling presence, your eyes capture the fire within; It embodies you. When the flame is fuelled by passion (gasoline for humans) it epitomises your unfettered wildness and your freedom. And when calm, it provides this sense of shelter to the people who love you and consider you family; your eyes reflect that blanket of warmth. That hidden side you only show to those close enough. Both are dazzling and I’m so glad to have met you – and to be able to interact with you. 

                                                    Three

Your scars. As superficial as it sounds, I find them gorgeous. I want to kiss them softly and treat them so gently. To tell you the truth, and to let you in on a little secret, I get really defensive over them. I hope this doesn’t sound like I’m fetishising them in any way but I’d love to see you without your makeup more often. I don’t want this to come across as pushy or anything, I promise this is only if you’re comfortable I would never want to put you in an uncomfortable position. I just want you to know that what I feel for you isn’t shallow and it isn’t based on the symbol you’ve built yourself as. It isn’t because you wear make-up and you hide yourself; my love isn’t conditional. I’ve fallen in love with you, the man beneath the make-up, Alexander Harper, for nothing more than the reason that you’re amazing. Sorry, I’m kinda focusing on this point so much because I feel so strongly about them. I feel as though you’ve been wrongly told, for a good chunk of your life, that they’re horrific for whatever reason. I feel as though you’ve gotten weird looks because of them, or like I mentioned earlier, that you’ve been called a freak. The idea of any of these being the case completely riles me up, it’s so fucked up to think about anyone shaming you for them. Personally, I think they’re a bold portrayal of your personal strength (of which I’ll touch on later – spoilers), and a show of your resilience in an all too often fucked up world. They’re beautiful, and they will never not be. If you aren’t proud of them yet, or if there’s a part of you that’s still somewhat ashamed of them, I will personally tell you anytime I can that they’re beautiful to me and are a representation of hope until you take pride in them. Or at least start to believe it. Even then, I’ll never shut up about it. Battle scars, whether metaphorical or literal, are always valid and are a big fuck you to not only mental illness – mostly the voices that try to destroy you from within – but are also a big fuck you to our abusers. It’s saying in big bold writing “hey fuckers, I survived despite all the shit you’ve thrown my way,” and that’s something we victims don’t get to experience enough. 

                                                    Four

Your ability to unapologetically be yourself. I think this one’s mostly self explanatory. You have this amazing capability to set aside the social dogma and the fear it instils regarding individuality. You know who you are and what you want and it's inspiring, especially since I personally struggle with identity and navigation. Your confidence in your belief system and in a lot of ways, yourself, is something I also look up to and I hope that one day I can reach a point like that too. You probably already know this and if it isn’t overt enough it’s sure as hell implicit – I look up to you so much. You’re one of my idols and maybe that’s daunting or a lot of pressure but as long as you keep being you I assure you there’s nothing you could ever do to deter me or make me feel differently. I’d also like to quickly touch on how accepting you are of mental illness and of your own! None of that matters to you and it creates such a safe space. You’re so incredibly patient with me. I can only hope I’ve been able to create the same feeling reversed! Lastly, I love all your little idiosyncrasies – the way you speak and move your hands, the way you flick your tongue against your scars (which weirdly enough never triggers my misophonia, you’re like the only exception) the way you pronounce things and draw out words, the way you interrupt yourself with hums and ahs and other butterfly inducing noises. It’s so perfectly you and it joys me to no end. 

                                                    Five

Your strength. I don’t want to get too specific into trauma because this is meant to be uplifting and I just want to stray away from the prospect of triggering you as best as I can so I’ll try my best to keep it short; though, there are some things I want to say– 

Holy fucking shit you are strong. You are so so strong. And that’s probably the most vaguest, cliche thing I’ve said yet but I fucking believe it with all my possum heart. Your childhood and the relentless degradation you endured by a parental figure who was meant to protect you, but instead disgustingly treated you like no child ever should be treated was horrific. What he did to you was unspeakable and the way you feel about my abuser hits the nail on the head regarding how I feel about your father. I’m sure you were the sweetest kid when you were younger and none of what happened was any fault of your own. You deserved to have your needs met and deserved to be treated with such love and compassion. You still do. There wasn’t something wrong with you, you didn’t cause your trauma. I know it’s really hard to believe that when you’ve experienced incredible distress and it can really fuck with your perceptions but I’m here to tell you that none of that is true. To put it in perspective, Arthur, Kali and I have experienced similar thought patterns. We’ve all doubted ourselves and believed at one point or another that we’re just awful and that we deserved it but it’s a lie abusers have ingrained in us. I’m not sure if anyone has told you this properly but I just want you to know this, please. I’m kind of going on a whole tangent here but this is so important. I just want the best for you and I want you to want that too. I want you to take care of yourself more, to be more patient with yourself – at the very least for me. You deserve to break out of this vicious cycle trauma imprints on us all. 

Further, going to war is arguably one of the most harrowing things a person can experience. I’m really not going to get in on the details here because it’s pretty self-explanatory too. You’re my hero Alexander, you encompass courage and resilience more than anyone can. Despite everything you’ve been though, in the end you’re still fighting in what you believe is right and fighting against oppression. Your spirit cannot be crushed and it’s really touching. My big dumb borderline heart feels so much for it and for you. I love you so completely. 

                                                    Six

Your humour. You seem to make the darkest situation into the brightest. You’re so quick witted and it never fails to make me laugh. Your secret love for puns, which I feel like you’ll deny because they’re cheesy but it slips a few times in the film, is the most adorable thing I’ve seen. It’s so so so endearing and I’m giggling to myself as I write this. 

                                                    Seven

Your voice is angelic and it has the power to give me butterflies. Continuing this thought, I always found it funny that no one can replicate it, at least I personally think; people fall short when they try to mimic you and it’s interesting. There’s just something about you that makes you incredibly unique and even when people try, they can never truly be you. Maybe this sounds like a crazy love ramble but you’re special. It’s why you’ve captured the hearts of so many and it’s why I’ve given you mine in full. Speaking of hearts, this leads me to my next point.

                                                    Eight

Your heart – you say you don’t have one though your heart is especially brilliant. I’ve seen it, albeit hidden, it’s big and has sustained despite the things you’ve been through. Apart from Kali and Arthur I’ve never had someone care for me as much as you, I’ve never had anyone treat me so gently and I’ve never had anyone validate my experiences the way you have. Despite experiencing all the bullshit judgement people project onto you (evident within the first few minutes of the film) you remain one of the most understanding, non-judgemental and comforting people I know. I have a feeling like you’d disagree with me about all this or try and block out what I’m saying by replying with “im dangerous” but I’m telling you I’ve never felt safer around anyone more than you – particularly in your arms. As someone who has a serious problem with people touching them and getting close to them physically or relationship-wise, I’m telling you Alexander Harper, that I trust you with my life and I feel wholly protected by you. I know you’d never hurt me, you’re terrified of doing so. I’d let my guard down with you any day, and I don’t do that. I want you to know you’re precious to me, every single side of you; every single part of you. You don’t scare me. I know how hard it is to open up and I’m so so so happy you’ve chosen me and the family to trust in. Just know that you don’t have to hide anymore. You can be yourself. And maybe this is pushing it, maybe this is me overstepping, I hope it isn’t but it’s okay to be the young Alexander you never got to be. It’s okay to let go and enjoy things and to do the things you want to do. To open up, to show people you have these feelings. I just want this to come across as a friendly reminder, like a little caress on the cheek because I can understand it all: the hiding, trying to pretend that you have no emotions at all, trying to pretend that you’re okay, self sabotaging relationships and the personal relationship you have with yourself. You don’t have to do this anymore though my love, you don’t have to go through this alone. I want nothing more than to support you and be with you when you’re going through your worst. I love all parts of you, remember?

                                                    Nine

Your playful side and your passions (yes I’m sticking two points into one, it’s not cheating, deal with it raccoon boy). Even if it’s small things like crosswords or rubik's cubes, to sliding down money piles and scribbling on newspapers (or um,,,,, taunting police) you have this sweet proclivity for mischief. It’s so endearing and I swear I fall more in love with you as the seconds go by. I love it when you fixate on something and create elaborate plans, it's riveting to watch them unfold – kind of like finishing a puzzle and watching the pieces come together. It’s so satisfying, and knowing you’re the man behind the plan makes it all the more thrilling; but my favourite thing of all is that it’s an insight into your mind (which I’ll also touch on next). On the flip side, you have this staggering ability to think on the spot under pressure, you always know exactly what to do or what to say. It’s awe-inspiring. You’re perfect. 

                                                    Ten

Your mind, I love the way it works and ticks. If I could spend hours asking you questions and asking your opinions on things I would. I don’t want this to come across like I want to psychoanalyse you and pick your brain in the worst way like some lab experiment. I’m just so interested in the way you view and perceive the world, even with the most mundane things. I just want to hear you talk. Like I said, I look up to you so much and I enjoy spending time with you. I guess you’re not the only one who likes reactions ha h. I’m hilarious. 

           And finally, in the memorable words of Frankie Valli—

I love you, baby. 

(Yes I know that was cheesy, kill me).

[ghostmeep]

Random things from chapter 370 that I don’t want people to miss about Haikyuu!! because Furudate is a GeINuS

Some important moments, but also a lot of not so important moments loll

(warning: excessive use of exclamation points and improper capitalization)

First up is the title of the chapter

Challenger — I think this sets up nicely the tone of what is to come.

The challenger in question is Hinata — as the main character, but also based off what Coach Ukai senior said

Hinata is basically a challenger against life — he’s short, and he hasn’t had as much opportunities to learn and develop in volleyball as other people — but he’s not letting go of his volleyball dream.

I’m too lazy to get the screencap of it, but before during the imitation youth camp at Shiratorizawa — they said how Hinata being an ‘uninvited party’ may be how he will be for the rest of his life — that is exactly what happened. Hinata didn’t get offers straight out of high school like Kageyama did — so he found his own path to be able to play volleyball. I can’t wait to see how much better Hinata got.

Okay, I’m sure many people are super psyched about Captain Yamaguchi — and I am too!!!!!!! Because Yamaguchi deserves the wOrlD and I can just imagine how much more confident our little baby grew up to be!!! How he is not afraid to call people out on their shit but he’s also the softest captain ev e r

But also can we talk about Vice Captain Kageyama??????????

Like, it’s always been a headcanon of mine to have Captain Yamaguchi and Vice Kageyama, but I didn’t think it would actually become canon??????? I knew that Yamaguchi was basically certain as captain, but I thought Tsukishima would end up his vice since they are so close and work well together. BUT IT’S KAGEYAMA AND I’M SO PROUD

Because also remember what number he wore in middle school third year

#2 — now, not all schools make their Vice Captain the #2 — but it is highly likely Kageyama was vice during his middle school years as well.

SOO I can just imagine Kageyama getting this number and thinking of his middle school days and how he is going to do so much bETTeR this time around.

How, well maybe the first years would be afraid of him at first, but they’ll quickly come to see his dorky side that just loves volleyball so very much. And how now Kageyama can actually communicate and see his spikers, instead of being reduced to saying ‘faster!’ ‘higher!’ on repeat. How little baby first years will come up to him, ask him if he could teach them out to do something, and Kageyama aGrEEInG (and not rejecting in childish manner coughOikawacough) and Kageyama just stumbling with his explanations and onomatopoeias aoweiaoiwenawe

hhhhhhhhh i wished we were shown Good Senpai Kageyama awoienawieawe

!!! Also, Hinata has #5 (#4 is probably the libero) — can you imagine him taking a pic and sending it to Tanaka all proud like saying that he’ll do the number 5 jersey proud like his senpais before him awoeinawoienawien

Yeah, just please appreciate this page pls aoweinaowieNAOWEIn

But also! Kageyama is wearing Karasuno jersey on top and then Japan one on the bottom — nice juxtaposition Furudate-sensei!

Hinata!!!!!!!!

People have pointed out how this is a recall of the beginning of the series where Hinata saw the little giant on TV — and y ES — but also!!!! Look at the size of his bag aoweinawoien look at him traveling everywhere by bike still.

This isn’t little baby Hinata who is just running around with his friends playing random sports — this is in the making volleyball player Hinata. He must have build some serious muscle aaaaaaaa

Just wanted to make clear!!! Hinata agreeing to go to Rio wasn’t just because of the coach being there — even before he heard about the possible coach in Rio, he learned that Brazil is strong in beach volleyball. So not only is there a coach willing to take him on, it’s at a place full of strong players.

Hinata agreeing to go to Roi just seemed kinda sudden to me, but I do think he gave it serious thought. 

Hinata seems like he mostly grew out of his brash, unthinking self from the beginning of the series and I wanted to point that out in case others missed it.

I don’t think anyone missed HInata’s Karasuno jersey hanging — but I don’t think it is there just for sentimental reasons (though I’m sure that is def a part of it)

But Hinata probably uses it as a reminder and for motivation. Karasuno was where he truly began to develop as a volleyball player. It’s where he realized that just because he can jump high doesn’t mean he can play volleyball. He needs to learn to be able to do everything (which is why he’s in Rio)

It’s also where he got to know Kageyama, ofc. Kageyama his ultimate rival that he is still aiming to beat (again, Hinata as a challenger) So I think seeing this jacket just motivates Hinata more than it being there just for memories

aowienaowine just wanted to say I approve of all the one piece mangas Hinata has as a fellow one piece fan aoweinaoiwen

!!! It snowed recently before their graduation

Now, I’m sure absolutely no one is surprised that these two dorks are playing volleyball rIGHT after their ceremony

BuT can we talk about how Kageyama’s serve is strong enough to make Hinata tumble like that oawienaoiwneae

Sure, Hinata used to tumble all the time when receiving — but that was because he couldn’t get proper footing and didn’t know how to receive. This HInata is not like that (look at his concentrated face!!) plus his tumble is exactly like Noya’s tumble whenever he received strong serves/spikes.

Really, both of them grew up so much aaaaaaaaaa

,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,IgnoRinG the HAiR

Lol no, in all seriousness, I don’t mind Kageyama’s hair too much. It seemed awful when I first saw it, but honestly the more I look at it the more (exasperatedly) fond of it I get.

It’s like, please don’t let Kageyama ever make life decisions (outside of volleyball) on his own. But when he does, you can’t help but accept whatever horrible decision it was and just want to pat him on the head and tell him he still did good awoeinaweoinawoein

BUT moST iMpoRtaNTLY!!! Look at that smile!!!!!!!!!!!! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Now, I know that this doesn’t mean that Kageyama can smile on command, but his unconscious smile at the very least are a loT SofTer

Honestly, smiling is just about muscle memory. So!!! The fact that his smiles are so much softer and less awkward and sharp means he did a lot of smiling over the past two years awoienaowieanw i’m glad Kageyama has had reason to smile!!!!!!!!! pls we need more soft smiling Kageyama

Hinata having such a cheesy sign in his room is honestly kinda funny to me, but it suits him

The ‘single step’ was mentioned before in Haikyuu as well, at least twice in fact.

First was with Kageyama doing serves to Hinata that first time. And how Hinata was very obviously tired but he kept receiving again and again.

And again the ‘single step’ was brought up when Karasuno made the conscious decision to have someone from the backline back up so that they can catch the volleyballs that are knocked back after hitting the blockers. ( I thinkkkk in the Shiratorizawa game??? not sure ) I don’t feel like searching for the screencap, but yeah.

It was basically how they weren’t going to rely on just the fast reflexes of Nishinoya and Hinata saving those flyaway balls anymore, and how they will take that extra ‘single step’ to make those ‘miracle plays’ into a regular thing.

So since the ‘single step’ motif has been used a lot, I do think the quote suits Hinata more and appreciate it being there.

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand that is really it??

It seems some people aren’t really happy about this timeskip and are saying how it all seemed rushed, but I don’t really think that way.

If anyone, it seems like the readers are the ones in a rush. Since everyone wants to just see how all the characters are like after five years, or just wants to know if Fukuroudani won nationals — people are just kinda glazing over Furudate’s actual pacing.

So far we got a pretty nice understanding of what happened, and I’m sure there are more details that will be given later. But for now we have enough to not be confused, and we are given many hints about the developments that Hinata and the other original first years went through.

So yeah, I dunno. I still love Haikyuu!! and I love Furudate and trust that we’ll be given the same great content that we have been getting for the past years.