#and a queer childhood
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জুঁই
Desi LGBT Fest 2023 by @desi-lgbt-fest
Day 10 : They bring me flowers
the first love of my life would bring me flowers like joba (hibiscus) & jui (jasmine) & genda (marygold) from her mother's potted plants. i was never really too careful with them and would either lose them or dispose the soggy flowers before the last school bell. while returning back home, i remember my hands often reaching the end of the pocket of my skirt that once had the flowers in them. id be able to smell them on my fingers. i think liked that i smelled of them the potted plant of jui in my balcony still reminds me of my time with her (sometimes)
tried my hands at pressing some flowers with a sheet of glass. multiple photos that i clicked of the pressed flowers and some shadow pic were overlaid in different angles. cut out some bengali newspaper fonts for the title and a little collage of all local flowers i click photos of mainly on my way to swimming <3
#desilgbtfest23#desi queer#desi wlw#desi queer art#queer art#desi lgbt fest 2023#they bring me flowers#its my first time posting#I haven't arted in about 4 years#i mean i have it was literally part of my job#but this is special#i had no reason#no compulsion#feelings really shy though#fun fact it's been 10 years since then#we were literally babies in love haha#i love reimagining my younger self with more queerness#it makes me so happy#that i had a queer past#and a queer childhood#added both the edits because couldn't decide which to pick#i think i like the collage better#but i think the plain one is aesthetically more pleasing?#idk couldn't choose#art
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Preview of Sam Long’s story, drawn by the amazing Cynthia Yuan Cheng! (@cynthiaycheng, cynthiaycheng.com)
Becoming Who We Are Kickstarter ends Dec 14! Preorder now to help us fund the book!
bit.ly/becomingkickstarter
#becoming who we are#trans stories#trans kids#trans childhood#queer comics#trans comics#comics anthology#comics Kickstarter#Sam long#Cynthia yuan cheng#middle grade graphic novel#middle grade comics
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based on a true story
(side note, it's very euphoric drawing my kid self as a girl! i'll have to do more of this!)
Edit: this has a proper image description now, written by @disasterhimbo
thank you very much! ID below the cut and in alt text:
[ID: a comic titled “Weird Girl: a comic by Scout Forester.” It’s full-color and in a cartoon style. It opens with close-ups of each of three children’s faces, all with big eyes and open mouths, observing a praying mantis in awe. An older kid comes up to them and says, “Hey shrimps! Don’t ya know we’re playin’ boys vs. girls right now? Why’re y’all weirdos just sittin’ around? Are y’all scared? Y’all chicken?” He is depicted towering over the younger children as he says this, but in the next panel, he is much less intimidating, just standing across from them on the playground equipment. One of the children, a girl with curly red hair, replies, “Um, we don’t wanna play that. We’re busy.” Another kid says, “We’re watchin’ a prayin’ mantis here, it’s real cool.” The bully, red-faced and sweaty with a red explosive background behind him, yells, “Sh-shut up! I’m big and you’re small, so I can make you play with me!” The redheaded girl looks at him inscrutably.
The next two panels are larger, with a black background. The redheaded girl closes her eyes. When she opens them again, she looks righteously angry, and only her eyes are in color. Next to her is a bust of a dinosaur with lightning bolts striking the dinosaur’s portrait. She says determinedly, “spirit of the pachycephalosaurus.” In a tiny panel, a simply-drawn version of the bully says, “wait, wha-” The last panel is the biggest, and depicts the redheaded girl headbutting the bully and knocking the wind out of him with a comic-book style, all-caps “wham!” The praying mantis is perched on the bars of the playground equipment and the sun is shining behind both kids, giving a dramatic lighting effect. End ID.]
#comedy#humor#comic#autistic artist#trans artist#childhood memories#childhood#weird little girl#pachycephalosaurus#dinosaurs#actuallyautistic#actually autistic#queer
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Miss you, darling. Miss you so much. I hurt you so much when I was hurting, and it was the same from you to me. I hope you're doing well and I hope you don't ever get near me. I'm sorry for resenting you
#web weaving#web weave#webweaving#on grief#on love#childhood grief#childhood love#queer love#childish#so childish
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WHAT IF I REALLY WAS SOMEONE ELSE?
Car Seat Headrest What's With You Lately? // I Saw the TV Glow (2024) dir. Jane Schoenbrun // The Front Bottoms Looking Like You Just Woke Up // Joan Tierney The Elektra Complex (via @filmnoirsbian) // I Saw the TV Glow (2024) dir. Jane Schoenbrun // unknown // Kaveh Akbar Forfeiting My Mystique (via @othellho) // I Saw the TV Glow (2024) dir. Jane Schoenbrun // unknown // Louise Glück Otis // I Saw the TV Glow (2024) dir. Jane Schoenbrun // Raymond Carver Will You Please Be Quiet, Please? // I Saw the TV Glow (2024) dir. Jane Schoenbrun
#i saw the tv glow#using they/them pronouns for owen bc that feels right to me idk#on self#on growing up#on childhood#trans#lgbtq#queer#web weave#web weaving#poetry parallels#poetry compilation#car seat headrest#csh#the front bottoms#joan tierney#kaveh akbar#louise gluck#raymond carver#poem#spilled poetry#writing#spilled thoughts#spilled ink#words#dark academia#poetry#dark academia quote#dark academia poetry#text
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— Forfeiting My Mystique, Kaveh Akbar, in '100 Queer Poems, an anthology' (2022)
[text ID: Some saints spent their whole childhoods biting their teachers' hands and / sprinkling salt into spider-webs, only to be redeemed by a fluke shock of grace just before death. May I feather into such a swan soon.]
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Turtle! It's watercolor pencil on a watercolor paper artist trading card. I've never drawn this small before and it was kinda hard.
#art#mine#artist#artists on tumblr#nostalgia#queer artist#childhood#drawing#painting#watercolor pencils#watercolor#kidcore art#kidcore#nostalgiacore#toywave#kidcore aesthetic#y2k#90s#2000s#childhood nostalgia#childhood memories#early 2000s#2000s nostalgia#2000s childhood#2000s kid#toys#kids toys#90s aesthetic#2000s aesthetic#y2k aesthetic
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as soon as i added a very vague letterbox review for this film some guy from work texted me and it took me .5 seconds to realize he had no idea what the plot was actually about… certified ‘bruh’ moment lads
#arghghhghghhhhhhh straights leave us alone challenge#i read his review for it and he thought it was just about lost childhood and that the main character acted a lil weird#sigh#i saw the tv glow#isttvg#justice smith#a24#a24 films#brigette lundy paine#jane schoenbrun#i saw the tv glow owen#the pink opaque#pride#queer cinema#ps this isnt to say cisgender individuals cant relate to the film in differing ways#more like theres a lot to take away from the movie and its ironic that for some the main theme flies completely over their heads rip#🤪#🥲
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we heard you like metal huh name every metal ever
#stranger things#stranger things 4#eddie munson#corroded coffin#art#fanart#ITS FINALLY FINISHED#please under any circumstances dont ever think they are “cool”#they all are losers#this isnt a “cool guys” kind of art this is “your beloved comic relief childhood queer awakening villain and his funny minions” kind of art#i want what they have tbh#like seriously i would kill for a friend like eddie in school
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hmmmmgrhhf thinking bout crowley and childhood trauma and abandonment and rage again
#me (a traumatized queer with mommy issues): wow this show is so fucking relatable. why isn’t it getting more attention in the media??#sorry for the pixelly quality it is one in the morning and I cannot find better resolution images#good omens#crowley#ineffable husbands#good omens 2#aziraphale#aziracrow#go2#ineffable lovers#ineffable wives#good omens season 2#on childhood trauma#gomens#gomens 2#tw: mention of trauma#david tennant#aziraphale x crowley#crowley x aziraphale#on rage#angel!crowley#anthony j crowley
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and if I said that dennis’ insistence on being the breadwinner/provider despite literally being a pampered princess who dgaf about traditional roles of masculinity in every other regard (aside from ego) is because his mom only stayed with/chose frank for his wealth and dennis is highly aware that he’s difficult to love and unable to show his emotions openly so he has to be contributing something to the relationship materially in order to feel like he’s worth staying for… and mac grew up with parents who were extremely ambivalent to him and eachother so he has to overcompensate by proving his worth at every given moment and seeking praise/validation from people (and religious icons) who will never demonstrate the same amount of dedication to him but he has no idea how else to desperately keep himself close to those he loves other than by eroding himself into something they’ll approve of… dear god they’re both exactly what the other needs — someone who can’t and won’t leave them even if they try — and they don’t even see it…
#dennis thinks he’s losing his edge and mac thinks he’s perfect anyway#mac feels like no one in his life has ever needed him enough to stay but dennis can’t stay away#IM ILLLLLL about these men from the world’s stupidest sitcom#sorry if this got a little freudian I don’t LITERALLY mean it in the sense that mac/dennis are seeking something that reminds them of their#parents (gross) (although pretty character accurate to the SINNED system)#but rather that our childhoods teach us what we should expect and look out for in life#and it never really leaves us#this all stemmed from me contemplating MADMTTS and how it would’ve made way more sense for mac (high energy adhd) to be out in the world#and dennis (bpd anger issues) to be indoors free from the triggers of the world#but they INSISTED on mac being housewife dennis being breadwinner#same as their little battle over supposed roles/dynamics as hugh honey/vic vinegar/brian lefevre etc#you are two queer men why on earth do you care about sticking to heterosexual gender roles#but it was never about the gender roles it was about what they self-assign their value to…#mac and dennis#mac mcdonald#dennis reynolds#iasip#it’s always sunny in philadelphia#its always sunny#macdennis#macden
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House of the Dragon (2022-)//Yellowjackets (2021-)//About you, The 1975
#rhaenicent#jackieshauna#house of the dragon#hotd#got#asoiaf#a song of ice and fire#game of thrones#web weaving#parallels#mine#quotes#words#yj#yellowjackets#alicent hightower#emily carey#milly alcock#rhaenyra targaryen#sophie nelisse#ella purnell#jackie taylor#shauna shipman#queer#lgbtq+#wlw#sapphic#lesbian#bisexual#childhood friends
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I spent the majority of my life being scared to DEATH about getting older. When I was 10, I listened to a song about growing out of the innocence of childhood and cried for hours. When I was 13, I could have panic attacks and crying fits because I was terrified of not being passionate about music as much if I grew older. I cried when I reached my 20s. And I'm scared shitless about turning 30.
The adults in my life were MISERABLE. I was told almost every day that growing up meant giving up, making sacrifices, having to bury inside everything you ever were as a child and teenager to fit in the mould or you were going to be the scum of society, useless, not worthy of anything.
The adults in my life were traumatized and never did anything to address their traumas. And they openly didn't want to. They were persuading themselves that they were fine or that it wasn't important to heal from the past. But their traumas transpired in everything they did, every decision they made, and the way they treated me.
And look, I'm not old by any means. I'm almost 27. But I spend every day that makes me closer to 30 like a waiting room before my inner death. Like one day I'll wake up and become a zombie and everything I ever loved and was passionnate about will be erased from my mind and heard, only to be replaced by the excruciating burden of responsabilities, chores, work, filling papers and wondering how I ended up living this way.
That's why I left my family. Because I was so sure that they would shove me into the same patterns they were in that I just dropped everything and went away. And the reaction I got in return was "Well, do you think WE'RE happy ? No, but life goes on anyways." I felt my inner child scream in agony. I packed, took a train, never returned.
And thank god I did.
It warms my heart so much when I see peolle here in their 30s still engaging in famdoms, nerdy hobbies, passions like writing, drawing, make music. Know that you're the reason I keep going and am a little less scared of being myself and growing into who I want to become.
#genderqueer#transgender#gerascophobia#lgbtqiaplus#lgbtqia#ftm#trans#transmasc#queer#gay#ftx#fear of growing up#fear of aging#growing up#bullying survivor#child abuse survivor#survivor#childhood trauma#cptsd recovery#living with cptsd#borderline personality disorder#bpd thoughts#gor3sigil.txt
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they are trying to solve the greatest mystery there is — why some people still think they are straight
#sherlock holmes#acd holmes#acd canon#john watson#my art#the last pic is OLD#sorryyy#i think hugging jeremy brett would have cured me from everything tbh#also seeing watson cry while holmes plays the violin in the soviet adaptation was a formative event of my childhood#i am now queer and obsessed with britain
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Begging God to fix you!
(And other tales about religious trauma)
#web weaving#web weave#on grief#on love#webweaving#childhood grief#oc story: pathdog#Pathdog!Catherina#oc webweave#on religion#religious trauma#tw religious themes#catholic grief#no hate like christian love#happy valentine's day#i guess#queer tragedy
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i'm kind of late to this but i just finished reading the scholomance trilogy by naomi novik and i feel like it is such an underrated urban fantasy?? taking the chosen one trope and turning it on its head with a fmc who has been prophesied to bring death and destruction, who is imbued with terrible power, but cannot even properly use said power to solve any of her obstacles because it would obliterate them and her soul. it takes a tired trope and the idea of an 'overpowered mary sue' and throws it back in your face by showing how all the power and destiny in the world is useless against a system filled with corruption that has burdened you with an easy way out (evil/destructive magic) that you can't take so now you have to work twice as hard as everyone else just to do simple, constructive spells instead of flicking your wrist and being done with it.
#the scholomance#naomi novik#galadriel higgins#orion lake#bookblr#urban fantasy#a deadly education#the last graduate#ya fantasy#the golden enclave#ya fiction#it has a diverse cast#queerness just effortlessly woven in#and the entire thing is so seamlessly crafted with a narrative on what real change looks like#how to really rid your environment of corruption and change society for the better you have to do the gritty work#you have to be willing to do the unpleasant hard grueling organization and working with people / meeting them where they're at#you might not even get to see or do the pretty parts#but its still worth doing the distatesful shit#doing the compromising and giving space for people to learn and make up for mistakes#so that future generations can do better#and have the childhood u didn't#no spoilers in case by some miracle i convince another soul to read this but like#she legit fucking says it in the book#it's not the work she wants to do in the end. not what she envisioned. but she does what she must to make sure other kids don't suffer#makes me think of climate activism so much#we might not get to have the pretty wonderful utopia but we have to be willing to do the shitty stuff it takes to make that future possible
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