#alfred clark

[bruciemilf]

Need a teen! Bruce au where he’s exactly like Justice League! Batman and Battinson in one. That mf put the fear of every god in Ra’s Al Ghul.

Everytime he’s in a room with someone over 30 “Teenagers” by My Chemical Romance plays in the background.

Despite that, in his own way, he’s as gentle as can be with his league. Give me a young Diana who’s getting spat on and ripped apart by the media in a way not one of her male teammates get.

And she’s Wonder Woman. She shouldn’t be affected by it. And she is, anyway. Bruce relates to that in an uncomfortable degree.

“When I first became Batman, weak men tried standing in my way, too. “

“And what did you do?”

“I stepped over them.”

He has a tiny Robin he occasionally has to keep on a leash.

Give me somewhat teen mom Bruce who struggles to wrangle his unruly six year old who likes flipping from rooftop to rooftop and thinks fighting Bane is a piece of cake.

“If Tati can do it, so can I!”

“Dick,” he paused, before handing him a handfull of candy. “Wonderful emotional manipulation. Good job.”

“:D”

[ochibrochi]

awkward morning after ☕️

[iconauta]

The Execution of Mary Queens of Scots (1895) Alfred Clark

The Execution of Mary Queen of Scots is a film directed by Albert Clark and produced by the Edison Manufacturing Company; the film represents the historical episode of the beheading of Mary Stuart, Queen of Scots, it is the first film to feature a editing cut and the first to use a special effect (00:13). It was shot on August 28, 1895, at Edison Laboratory in West Orange.

To show the decapitation of Mary Stuart (played by Robert Thomae, secretary and treasurer of the Edison company), the cameraman, William Heise, stops the camera at the moment the executioner raises the axe, Thomae is replaced by a dummy, and the action resumes. Clark and Heise only used the stop-motion substitution on this occasion and did not think of developing it further. Instead, Georges Méliès did, who discovered the same trick by chance one day while filming in the Place de l'Opera and his camera stopped. Unlike Clark and Heise, Méliès immediately set to work making films that exploited the newly discovered trick. The first was The Vanishing Lady (1896)

[tiger-grace]

Superman: I haven’t seen you at the watchtower for a while. Where have you been the last few weeks, Batman?

Bruce: Rehab.

Superman, worriedly: Oh, I’m so sorry- I never knew you struggled with that. If you don’t mind me asking, what for?

Bruce, grimacing as he watches public footage of Signal and Red Hood starting a dumpster fire out of Pro-Joker merch: ..adoption.

[kal8elle]

Art by https://twitter.com/hokkemaruyaki

[noka-exe]

world’s finest vs… cake…

[theerurishipper]

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First <- Part 17 <- Part 18 -> Part 19

Masterpost

[trashmakerarticle]

Everyone thinks that dick was the golden child when in reality it was Jason.

Clark: Bruce who was your favourite robin?

Dick: obviously it’s me?

Tim: it’s dick

Damian: I am superior robin, it will be me.

Bruce: it’s Jason

Everyone: WHAT?!?!???

Bruce: why are you so surprised? He didn’t jump on too my chandeliers which I had to replace each week

*everyone looks at dick*

Bruce: he didn’t drop out of school

*everyone looks at tim*

Bruce: I didn’t have to stop him from killing everyone who annoyed him

*everyone looks at Damian*

Bruce: in fact, he enjoyed school and handed all his homework in on time, we would spend hours in the library reading his favourite classics. He even helped Alfred with most of the cooking, He was my little boy

Jason: stop spreading lies, I hate you go away

Bruce: my precious little boy

[random-generated-name]

Alfred: I’m heading out for my trip. I left everyone written instructions so the manor stays in one piece

Bruce: Mine says ‘no cooking’

Clark: Mine says ‘no eating anything weird’

Dick: Mine says ‘no gymnastics inside’

Damian: Mine says ‘no stabbing’

Tim: Mine says ‘no fighting with your brothers’

Jason: Mine just says ‘no’

[violent138]

I feel like Bruce would get trapped somehow in an undercover situation with journalist Clark Kent, who inexplicably was "looking for the bathroom" deep in the off limits parts of a mob boss's house, and recognize Superman purely from being in close quarters with Clark and react stupidly enough that Clark frowns at him (in the shady little corner Clark hid them when he heard people coming).

So Bruce does the natural thing and kisses him. Purely to deflect attention.

Alfred, sipping his tea:

Bruce, wringing his hands, back in the Batcave: "So?"

Alfred: "Well you have my blessing, Master Bruce."

Bruce:

Bruce: "Alfred that's not--"

Alfred: "As for advice I'm afraid I must refrain, Master Bruce, you'd find some way to do the complete opposite and--"

Bruce: "No Alfred, I really need advice."

Alfred: "Haven't got any sir, I'm a bit rusty. Back in my day, one did not simply kiss handsome journalists in dark corners and say the words, this is off the record."

Bruce, blushing: "I just panicked--"

Alfred: "I trust you'll manage to sort this out, Master Bruce, ace detective that you are."

Bruce: "Alfred."

[superbat-love]

AU of the Wayne family history. At the batkids’ insistence, Alfred finally agreed to read them an old, leather-bound book he’d been holding—a memoir of the very first Wayne.

Clearing his throat, Alfred began in his usual calm, measured tone. "Long ago, a celestial being descended from the heavens, landing in a field owned by a struggling farmer. The celestial arrived in a dazzling ship, unlike anything seen on Earth. But the farmer, desperate to survive, dismantled the ship and sold its parts, making himself a fortune. When the celestial discovered what had happened, he was furious and sought out the farmer to demand justice."

The kids leaned in, totally hooked.

Alfred continued, "The farmer, terrified, begged for forgiveness. He promised that one day, his descendant would marry the celestial's firstborn child to atone for his crime. The celestial, after much thought, relented. He gifted the farmer the rest of the ship as dowry. From that moment on, the Wayne family flourished, their wealth growing beyond imagination."

Bruce, who’d been half-listening while skimming through some files on genetic engineering from the Fortress of Solitude, snorted. "Someone clearly had quite an imagination."

Without saying a word, Alfred flipped the book around and held it up for Bruce to see. The smirk faded from Bruce’s face as his eyes landed on the page. There, drawn in faded ink, was a detailed sketch of the ship… emblazoned with a symbol Bruce recognized immediately.

The crest of the House of El.

Alfred straightened, his tone subdued. "It would seem, Master Bruce, that the promise made to Jor-El must now be honored, given that his firstborn son has arrived on Earth."

Bruce froze. He recalled the Fortress’ eccentric behavior toward him and broke out in cold sweat.

[battexthefox]

i can't imagine inviting outsiders over to Wayne Manor and it going well. like having Clark over for game night would be so chaotic.

Dick: nonono, you can't do that Damian! seriously that's against the rules!

Damian, shoving monopoly money into his pockets: i have no idea what you're talking about, Richard.

Jason, laughing his ass off: dude, seriously, you won't win against tiny-but-deadly here.

Dick: but he's cheating!!

Steph: it's called a tactical advantage, Dick. you might wanna try it too, you're getting your ass whooped.

Clark, to Bruce: are you not gonna stop him?

Bruce: last time i tried, he threatened to "revoke my Batman privileges." i couldn't find my suit for a week.

Alfred: i have never seen Master Bruce so well-rested. it was truly horrific.

[blackbatest]

wayne family adventures + text posts: batman edition

its my bisexual right to make superbat and batcat jokes in the same post. btw.

(batkids edition)

+bonus alfred (tw suicide joke)

[incorrectbatfam]

Clark's Midwestern passive-aggressiveness vs. Alfred's British passive-aggressiveness: FIGHT

[thesulkycroissant]

"You stopped for tea? 😐"

[emperor-neo]

Man, TimKon has to have craziest in-laws. Imagine what headache the After marriage dinners get.

Duke: hey um… can you pass the salt *eyeing Lex Luthor*

Lex: *takes the salt but moves it away from Duke*

Selina: God why are you even in here?!

Lex: Because I am Conner’s BIOLOGICAL father unlike you, you stealing broad—

Lois: *tiredly sighs* Oh my God, here we go again…

Bruce: Blood relation means nothing, Lex.

Dick: to quote Maya Angelou: "Family isn’t always blood, it’s the people in your life who want you in theirs”

*Lex proceeds to stand up and points at the person at the end of the table*

Kate: now, this is gonna be interesting

Clark: Lex can you sit down?

Lex: for all my Intellect and prowess what I don’t understand is…WHY ARE THEY HERE!! *points at the Al Ghuls*

Talia: quit embarrassing yourself, Luthor. Timothy is my beloved’s son and brother to two of my sons—

Selina: *looks at Talia tiredly* would you please move on?

Talia: No! *slams the table* you are only his Girlfriend. While I am the Mother of his sons.

Selina: No sane mother trains her children to be weapons of war *pulls out her nails*

Talia: you haven’t seen this mother. *pulls out a sword*

Damian: Mothers, can you all stop? It’s embarrassing.

Minkhoa: as far as I’m concerned, I’m the spouse.

Bruce: Please I beg of you don’t do this Minkhoa

Jim whispers to Barbara: is it always like this?

Barbara whispers back: only during holidays

Jim: remind me not to attend during it

Stephanie: I could get why Talia is here but why is he here *sideeyes Ra’s Al Ghul* Didn’t you steal Tim’s spleen?

Ra’s: I am Talia’s father which makes me the detective’s father-in-law, by extension Timothy’s Grandfather.

*Alfred audibly cocks his shotgun under the table*

Jason: Crazy mental gymnastics there, geezer.

Ra’s: It is a shame that the detective’s choice to spend eternity is with that abomination…

Lex: you take that back, he’s genetically perfect! He’s half of my crush I meant rival and half of me! Me! you ancient terroris—

*a chorus of outrage erupts*

Jon: WOAH WOAH!

Dick: HEY!!

Luke: neglecting the part where Lex just admitted to—

*cuts short by Lucius Fox*

Lucius whispers: I strongly advise, you don’t add fuel to whatever this is, Luke.

Minkhoa: I mean he’s not wrong…

Tim leans on Conner: Welp, that checks my ‘racism at the table’ bingo card

Jean Paul: You are all sinners! I condemn this unholy matrimony! No man can marry a man much less born out of unnatural means!

Conner: There goes the homophobia one *checks the bingo card*