#alfred clark
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Need a teen! Bruce au where he’s exactly like Justice League! Batman and Battinson in one. That mf put the fear of every god in Ra’s Al Ghul.
Everytime he’s in a room with someone over 30 “Teenagers” by My Chemical Romance plays in the background.
Despite that, in his own way, he’s as gentle as can be with his league. Give me a young Diana who’s getting spat on and ripped apart by the media in a way not one of her male teammates get.
And she’s Wonder Woman. She shouldn’t be affected by it. And she is, anyway. Bruce relates to that in an uncomfortable degree.
“When I first became Batman, weak men tried standing in my way, too. “
“And what did you do?”
“I stepped over them.”
He has a tiny Robin he occasionally has to keep on a leash.
Give me somewhat teen mom Bruce who struggles to wrangle his unruly six year old who likes flipping from rooftop to rooftop and thinks fighting Bane is a piece of cake.
“If Tati can do it, so can I!”
“Dick,” he paused, before handing him a handfull of candy. “Wonderful emotional manipulation. Good job.”
“:D”
#I LOVE HIMMMMM HES SO AWKWARD AND COOL TO ME#give me the league fangirling over him at every turn and he’s just Tired of them. has to call teen Clark who’s Perry White’s intern like.#‘Kal— please write about something other than Batman.’#‘Bruce. I cannot say no to you. Please don’t ask me to do that.’#alfred is extremely tired. also extremely in need of Bruce to stop being self sufficient.#let him take care of you daMN IT—#teen bruce wayne#bruce wayne#batman#batdad#writing#dick grayson#dc comics
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awkward morning after ☕️
#superbat#worlds finest#batman and superman#superman#batman#clark kent#bruce wayne#damian wayne#alfred pennyworth
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The Execution of Mary Queens of Scots (1895) Alfred Clark
The Execution of Mary Queen of Scots is a film directed by Albert Clark and produced by the Edison Manufacturing Company; the film represents the historical episode of the beheading of Mary Stuart, Queen of Scots, it is the first film to feature a editing cut and the first to use a special effect (00:13). It was shot on August 28, 1895, at Edison Laboratory in West Orange.
To show the decapitation of Mary Stuart (played by Robert Thomae, secretary and treasurer of the Edison company), the cameraman, William Heise, stops the camera at the moment the executioner raises the axe, Thomae is replaced by a dummy, and the action resumes. Clark and Heise only used the stop-motion substitution on this occasion and did not think of developing it further. Instead, Georges Méliès did, who discovered the same trick by chance one day while filming in the Place de l'Opera and his camera stopped. Unlike Clark and Heise, Méliès immediately set to work making films that exploited the newly discovered trick. The first was The Vanishing Lady (1896)
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*The kitchen in Wayne Manor*
Clark, drinking a coffee: And then I was like, i don't need....
Jon walking in, not fully awake yet: Morning...
Clark: Morning? What are you doing here? You where supposed to be at kon's?
Kon walking in with Tim in tow: Well technically he is with me.
Wally sapping in to get something from the fridge: Wow, in what kind of family reunion did I stumble into here?
Roy, also there to get something to eat: I dunno man.
Bruce, appearing out of nowhere: The real question here is, why tf you all are at my house.
Alfred: It seems like the boys had a sleepover. Just like old times.
Roy: Hah, tell that to the hickeys on Jason's neck
#clark kent#bruce wayne#tired dad bruce wayne#superbat#jon kent#damian wayne#kon el#tim drake#timkon#wally west#dick grayson#dcu#birdflash#roy harper#jayroy#jason todd#alfred pennyworth#batfamily
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Superman: I haven’t seen you at the watchtower for a while. Where have you been the last few weeks, Batman?
Bruce: Rehab.
Superman, worriedly: Oh, I’m so sorry- I never knew you struggled with that. If you don’t mind me asking, what for?
Bruce, grimacing as he watches public footage of Signal and Red Hood starting a dumpster fire out of Pro-Joker merch: ..adoption.
#‘bruce wayne is a bad dad’ ‘bruce wayne is a good parent!!’ NO. Bruce Wayne is a wine mom#he has tacky 2000’s beige signs around the house that his kids beg him to take down#wine. sleep. vigilante. repeat!!#jason steals them and puts them in Tim’s CEO office#batman#batfam#bruce wayne#jason todd#dick grayson#superman#clark kent#justice league#batman and robin#robin#incorrect batman quotes#incorrect batfamily quotes#I AM SO EXCITED FOR THE DYNAMIC DUO MOVIE#duke thomas#signal#signal dc#red hood#batkids#hes proud but can’t condone this or else it’ll turn into Duke and Jason burning down entire warehouses next#rehab was Alfred making him sit through lectures on communication
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world’s finest vs… cake…
#batman#superman#superbat#dc comics#alfred pennyworth#clark kent#bruce wayne#animation#silly lil thing#JL potluck and they are failures#worlds finest#my art
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Bruce: Legend has it that this house is haunted.
Officer: Stop joking around, Mr. Wayne. We have a warrant to search the premises for illegal activities.
Bruce: It’s probably the ghosts causing trouble again. You��d be doing me a favor if you arrested them, officer.
Officer: Mr. Wayne, this is a serious matter!
Bruce: Did you know that if you stand in front of this mirror and chant someone’s name, they’ll appear behind you?
Officer: [sighs] Like Bloody Mary?
Bruce: Bloody Clark!
Clark: [suddenly appears behind them, wrapped in a blanket, eyes glowing red] Hey! That wasn’t nice.
Dick: [hanging upside down from the ceiling] Hi, Clark!
Officer: [screams and faints]
Bruce: You’re late. I called you two seconds ago.
Clark: I’d have gotten here sooner if you didn’t cuss at me while I was asleep!
Dick: Do you need my help getting rid of the body?
#cussing him in british#alfred style#superman appears whenever batman calls him#the wayne manor is haunted#dc headcanon#incorrect dc quotes#drabble#text post#dc#superbat#superman x batman#batman x superman#superman/batman#batman/superman#superman#batman#clark kent#bruce wayne#dick grayson#nightwing
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First <- Part 17 <- Part 18 -> Part 19
Masterpost
#DC#DC Comics#Dick Grayson#Bruce Wayne#Clark Kent#Jason Todd#Tim Drake#Damian Wayne#Cassandra Cain#Wally West#Barbara Gordon#Alfred Pennyworth#Talia Al Ghul#Lois Lane#Selina Kyle#Batman#Nightwing#Superman#Superbat#I oscillate between seeing Bruce as a secret meme god or seeing him as fundamentally unable to grasp them as a concept#Depends on my mood
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wayne family adventures + text posts: batman edition
its my bisexual right to make superbat and batcat jokes in the same post. btw.
(batkids edition)
+bonus alfred (tw suicide joke)
#with special guest: bruce's actual greatest rival Margie From The PTA#idk how i ended up with so many bruce ones hes just fucked up in a funnier way ig#batman#wayne family adventures#bruce wayne#superbat#batcat#clark kent#selina kyle#alfred pennyworth#dc#dc comics#image description in alt#mine
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#batman#batfamily#jason todd#dick grayson#tim drake#damian wayne#cassandra cain#duke thomas#batdad#stephanie brown#barbara gordon#kate kane#Batfam#batfam shenanigans#bat family#alfred pennyworth#Harper row#Roy Harper#Wally west#Bruce Wayne#kon Kent#superbat#superboy#super boy#Superman#clark kent
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Everyone thinks that dick was the golden child when in reality it was Jason.
Clark: Bruce who was your favourite robin?
Dick: obviously it’s me?
Tim: it’s dick
Damian: I am superior robin, it will be me.
Bruce: it’s Jason
Everyone: WHAT?!?!???
Bruce: why are you so surprised? He didn’t jump on too my chandeliers which I had to replace each week
*everyone looks at dick*
Bruce: he didn’t drop out of school
*everyone looks at tim*
Bruce: I didn’t have to stop him from killing everyone who annoyed him
*everyone looks at Damian*
Bruce: in fact, he enjoyed school and handed all his homework in on time, we would spend hours in the library reading his favourite classics. He even helped Alfred with most of the cooking, He was my little boy
Jason: stop spreading lies, I hate you go away
Bruce: my precious little boy
#jason todd#Bruce Wayne#dick Grayson#Damian Wayne#tim Drake#clark kent#Batman#alfred pennyworth#Bruce: he my little baby#jason: I’m 6’2 and have the ability to kill you if I wanted#Bruce: my baby my little son#jason: GOD YOURE SO EMBARRASSING DAD#jason was probably the most behaved child before he went boom boom and I stand by that#he enjoyed school#most likey hated it when he missed it#and he loves classic literature???#bros a huge nerd#yea dick is all smiles but probably gave Bruce’s near death heart attacks everytime he swung from chandeliers and rooftops#jason just wanted to live his life in the library reading his fav books and homework
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Bruce: nonchalantly digging a bullet out of his shoulder so he can analyze the fragments, frustrated half the League followed him to the Cave
Oliver: critiquing his technique and suggesting some weird herbal salve he makes at home for the pain (Dinah will roll her eyes and bring it if he asks)
Hal: feet up on Bruce’s desk, snacking on Alfred’s grazing platter until they ask him to use his Ring for analysis, mentally comparing the roast beef roll ups to Bruce’s bloody arm
Clark: hovering, trying to help Bruce by x-raying the fragments but keeps wincing sympathetically when Bruce digs the forceps in
Diana: taking the opportunity to admire Alfred’s tea set and Bruce’s photos of his kids, completely unfazed by blood
Arthur: trying to figure out if that trident on the wall over there is Atlantean without being rude (it is), will slap Bruce’s arm when he leaves just to see if he’ll wince (he won’t)
J’onn: reluctantly fascinated by Hal, Arthur, and Bruce’s thought patterns
Victor: subtly trying to analyze the fragments via x-ray but keeps zooming back out whenever Bruce’s internal hardware lights up like a Christmas tree because it gives him a migraine
(Bonus) Alfred: would have gotten the bullet fragments out 20 minutes ago if Bruce had let him try instead
#clearing out my drafts#batman#bruce wayne#dc#jl#justice league#clark kent#superman#Hal Jordan#green lantern#green arrow#Oliver Queen#Diana prince#Wonder Woman#wonderwoman#Arthur curry#aquaman#victor stone#cyborg#j’onn J’onn#martian manhunter#alfred pennyworth#batfamily#tw injury#tw blood
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I feel like Bruce would get trapped somehow in an undercover situation with journalist Clark Kent, who inexplicably was "looking for the bathroom" deep in the off limits parts of a mob boss's house, and recognize Superman purely from being in close quarters with Clark and react stupidly enough that Clark frowns at him (in the shady little corner Clark hid them when he heard people coming).
So Bruce does the natural thing and kisses him. Purely to deflect attention.
Alfred, sipping his tea:
Bruce, wringing his hands, back in the Batcave: "So?"
Alfred: "Well you have my blessing, Master Bruce."
Bruce:
Bruce: "Alfred that's not--"
Alfred: "As for advice I'm afraid I must refrain, Master Bruce, you'd find some way to do the complete opposite and--"
Bruce: "No Alfred, I really need advice."
Alfred: "Haven't got any sir, I'm a bit rusty. Back in my day, one did not simply kiss handsome journalists in dark corners and say the words, this is off the record."
Bruce, blushing: "I just panicked--"
Alfred: "I trust you'll manage to sort this out, Master Bruce, ace detective that you are."
Bruce: "Alfred."
#batman#bruce wayne#clark kent#superman#identity shenanigans#alfred pennyworth#text post#superbat#personal
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i can't imagine inviting outsiders over to Wayne Manor and it going well. like having Clark over for game night would be so chaotic.
Dick: nonono, you can't do that Damian! seriously that's against the rules!
Damian, shoving monopoly money into his pockets: i have no idea what you're talking about, Richard.
Jason, laughing his ass off: dude, seriously, you won't win against tiny-but-deadly here.
Dick: but he's cheating!!
Steph: it's called a tactical advantage, Dick. you might wanna try it too, you're getting your ass whooped.
Clark, to Bruce: are you not gonna stop him?
Bruce: last time i tried, he threatened to "revoke my Batman privileges." i couldn't find my suit for a week.
Alfred: i have never seen Master Bruce so well-rested. it was truly horrific.
#batfamily#dc comics#dc#batfam#bruce wayne#batman#clark kent#superman#dick grayson#nightwing#damian wayne#robin#dc robin#stephanie brown#dc spoiler#alfred pennyworth
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Clark's Midwestern passive-aggressiveness vs. Alfred's British passive-aggressiveness: FIGHT
#clark kent#superman#alfred pennyworth#superfamily#superfam#batfamily#batfam#batman#batman family#justice league#dc comics#batposting#shitpost
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At Wayne mannor
Alfred: Morning everyone I have an announcement.
Bruce: Everything alright Alfred?
Alfred: Yes, I have invited the Kents to dinner in two days time.
Bruce: What...
Alfred: I expect everyone to be on their best behavior.
Tim: When you say the Kents who do you mean?
Alfred: All of them, Jonathan, Martha, Clark, Lois, Kon, Jon, Kara, Otho, and Osul.
Cassandra: How many people will be in attendance.
Alfred: 24 people in total. For our part everyone WILL attend, no excuses. That means myself, Bruce, Dick, Jason, Danny, Tim, Duke, Stephane, Barbara, Harper, Cassandra, Luke, Kate, and Damian.
Jason: This is going to be fun.
Damian: I bet $20 the house burns down by the end of the night.
Danny: I'll take you up on that.
Meanwhile at the Kent farm
Martha: Morning everyone, last night I was talking with Alfred and we've been invited to dinner at the Waynes in two days. We will all be going, no buts.
Jonathan: We expect everyone to behave.
Kon: At least one person will end up in the hospital.
Kara: I think it'll be fun.
Clark: It'll be fun to see Bruce, it's been a while since we've seen each other as civilians.
Martha: Good, now let's enjoy breakfast, there are chores to be done, and they're not going to do themselves.
Part: 13, (all parts)
#alfred pennyworth#bruce wayne#tim drake#cassandra cain#jonathan kent#martha kent#clark kent#lois lane#kon kent#jon kent#kara kent#otho ra#osul ra#jason todd#danny fenton#danny phantom#duke thomas#harper row#luke fox#barbara gordon#stephenie brown#kate kane#damian wayne#dc x dp#dp x dc#dpxdc#dc x dp crossover#dp x dc crossover#batfam#kent family
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