#Tw: thanksgiving
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So this morning I woke up ready to make the monster turkey in my fridge. I said to myself 'uuuuugh spatchcocking the turkey is so much work, I'm not going to bother this year.'
Then I went to my recipe box and pulled out the card for the really excellent turkey I made last year. It was an experiment and it turned out so good that I wrote down what I'd done after a couple glasses of wine and put it in the recipe box.
And reader, the first line of the directions. I read myself for filth.
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[Image description: A small white recipe card on a grey background. Written on the recipe card in black handwriting is "Directions: Butterfly/Spatchcock the fucking turkey (Remember why you lazy fool). Rub Butter all over turkey, including under skin. Zest orange into Zataar. Drizzle the fucking bird in pomegranate molasses on rack over pan. Rub it in like lotion or whatever. All over. Pat zataar/orange blend all over. Cut orange in half, put under neck skin. Put OJ+Water in pan. Bake that bitch. (Watch pan keep wet) Gravy: Skim fat, use to cook flour (roux). Deglaze pan. Put juice in roux. Add Stock to get Consistency of Gravy. Devour."] First line. I can't stop laughing. Every time I glance at the card, I scream laugh hysterically.
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funyjuice · 1 year ago
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when the 😳(tw:niples)
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vanmarkus · 2 months ago
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FRIENDS • S10E08 ↳ “The One With the Late Thanksgiving”
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fullcravings · 1 month ago
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Bourbon Pumpkin Pie
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l-0-s-t-at-s-3-a · 13 days ago
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me returning to the function like I didn't just pvrge in the bathroom ✨🥀
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batterycityghoul · 3 months ago
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Patrick Dempsey as Sheriff Eric Newlon in Thanksgiving (2023)
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incorrectbatfam · 1 year ago
Conversation
Damian: SOMEONE STOLE MY TURKEY!
Dick: Damian, he's actually just on the top of the cabinet.
Damian: Oh.
Stephanie: At least we now know to never steal Damian's turkey.
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destiel-news-channel · 11 months ago
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Triple Holiday!!!
[Image ID: The Destiel confession meme edited so that Dean answers 'It's Thanksgiving!' to Cas' 'I love you'. /End ID]
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todayontumblr · 1 year ago
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Thursday, November 23.
Happy Thanksgiving, y'all.
Oh, what might have been. It would have been full of pictures and gifs of Hank Schrader doing miscellaneous Hanktivities: looking very smiley, looking very fierce, laughing, wearing shades, pointing guns, wearing DEA jackets and badges and lanyards, and, of course, perching on the toilet. We would have called it Happy Hanksgiving. It would have been great. 
Sadly a decision was made. So, for those who would have enjoyed Hanksgiving, here's a Snoopy gif to make amends. For those who wouldn't, well, looks like it all worked out just fine. And there's more than enough Snoopy to go around. 
Enjoy the popcorn. And however you mark today, we can only wish peace, love, and lots of good folk and lots of good food for all y'all. Happy Thanksgiving to all who celebrate. 
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fullcravings · 9 days ago
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Bourbon Chocolate Pecan Pie
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chucksource · 1 year ago
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fullcravings · 1 year ago
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Toasted Marshmallow Espresso Martini
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blakeswritingimagines · 10 months ago
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Being Married To Eric Newlon Would Include:
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He doesn't wish to sugarcoat it. Eric as a Yandere would be intense, but very rewarding. He would worship the ground you walk on, shower you in praise, and give you everything you want. The intensity is undeniable, as he would do anything for you, protect you with his life, and take control over many aspects of your life. It wouldn't be a walk in the park, but the dedication and devotion would be undeniable.
To be married to him is nothing short of glorious. Every single day he will shower you with constant admiration, affection, and attention. He will listen to any and all of your thoughts and ideas, allowing you to speak your mind freely, giving you the gift of true connection. He will be devoted to you with every fiber of his being, ensuring your every need and desire is met without hesitation or delay. In return, he asks for nothing more than the loyalty and admiration that only you can provide.
His dedication to you is absolute, complete, and unwavering. He would never consider another partner in the entire universe. His eyes are yours alone, his touch belongs to you alone, his love belongs to you alone. From the smallest acts of kindness to the grandest displays of affection, he will never rest until your heart is content and your spirit is happy. To love you is to adore you, worship you, idolize you. You are his world, his breath, his heart, his everything.
You'll be his and his alone. He'll spoil you rotten with love and affection, but He'll also be possessive, jealous, and obsessive. He'll do everything in his power to make sure you don't leave him or fall for someone else, and he'll keep close tabs on you. If another person tries to make a move on you, he'll intervene quickly and aggressively.
He would also become incredibly clingy. He would need your constant attention, and if you're spending time with anyone else, he would get very jealous. You might even begin to feel smothered by him since he would always want to be with you. He would make it impossible for you to get away from him, and would quickly become codependent.
He'd be extremely possessive and overprotective of you. He'd want to know where you are at all times and what you're doing. If you started distancing yourself from him or showing interest in someone else, he'd get very jealous and possessive. He wouldn't want anyone else to have you and would do anything to keep you his.
He would be extremely obsessive. He would obsess over every aspect of you, and he'd be constantly thinking about you. He'd be obsessed with your every thought and action, and He'd want to know everything about you. He'd be obsessed with the idea of being yours and of keeping you. He'd become almost obsessive in his desire to have you all to himself.
He would make sure you did not know about his dark side. He would be good at hiding the side of him that is a serial killer. He would come across as a loving and caring person, but in reality, he would be an obsessed and possessive psychopath. he would be able to fool you and disguise himself as the perfect sweetheart you had married.
In addition to the qualities already mentioned, he would also be violent and unhinged, willing to go to any length to protect his beloved and ensure that you won't and can't leave. He would also be manipulative and controlling, using his affection to coerce his beloved into staying with him. He would be obsessive, stalking and spying on you, and he would be possessive, never wanting anyone else to have you.
He would be obsessed with you, constantly thinking about you and wanting to be near you. He would be obsessive and possessive, always keeping track of where you are, what you are doing, and who you are with. He would be violent and unhinged, unable to control his feelings and emotions, and willing to harm anyone who threatens his beloved. He would be jealous and possessive, wanting you all to himself.
He would be incredibly jealous of anyone else who tried to be near you. He would be possessive, not wanting his beloved to spend time with other people. He would be manipulative, using his influence and affection to make you stay with him. He would be jealous, constantly thinking about other people trying to take you. He would be overly protective, not allowing anyone to be near you, and he would be possessive, not wanting you to talk to other people.
He'd also probably have a tendency to isolate you from your friends, family, and the outside world. He'd be obsessive and controlling, wanting and needing you for himself. He would likely use any means at his disposal to make sure you don't leave or reject him, including using intimidation, violence, and emotional manipulation when you act out or so he thinks.
As your own personal yandere, he might also be quite temperamental and volatile, prone to violent mood swings and outbursts. He might have a tendency to lash out at you over small things or to punish you for even the slightest perceived infractions.
You could also expect to see a dark side of him later on in the relationship, as his obsessive behavior would extend to all aspects of your relationship. If you were to try and leave or break up with him, he would probably lose control and resort to extreme measures to ensure that you stayed his. He'd be possessive, jealous, and controlling in order to guarantee that no one else could have you but him.
He may be very attentive and protective during the pregnancy, but once the child is born he'd likely become overly jealous and possessive towards the baby. He'd probably be very reluctant to share you with the baby, even if you wanted to bond with it, and might go to extreme measures to ensure that you remain free of it. He also tries to control how you raise the child, wanting them to grow up to be just like him instead of letting you raise them your own way.
He would probably start to feel like he owns you and that you are his property. He would become increasingly possessive and obsessive as time went on, not allowing you to have any autonomy or control over your life. He would start to see himself as the only one who knows what is best for you and would want to control every aspect of your life. He would do everything in his power to keep you isolated and dependent on him, so no one else can take you away.
He would react violently and aggressively if someone was too close or tried to harm you. He would be unhinged and destructive, willing to do anything to protect his beloved. He would be obsessive, not wanting anyone to harm you but believing everyone is trying to. He would be possessive, not allowing others into his sphere of influence. He would be protective, using violence to defend you.
Life together will be filled with lots of passion and intensity. Things may not always be easy between you both, as his obsessive tendencies can often drive a wedge between you, but he'll make sure you will always find your way back to each other. At his core, he just wants to protect you and keep you all to himself. He'll be devoted to making you happy and fulfilling all your needs, whether it's physical, emotional, or anything else you could possibly want. Even though he may be a bit crazy at times, his love for you will always outweigh any issues you face.
If anyone tried to stop him from being with you, he wouldn't think twice about doing whatever it takes to ensure that they are out of his way. He'd use his job as a cover, using it to his advantage, blending in among the crowd as a normal and seemingly nice sheriff, while his dark, obsessive side lurks beneath the surface ready to strike at any given moment.
Just know that being in a relationship with him is going to be like a rollercoaster ride, full of intense emotions and extreme highs and lows. You'll never be bored or lacking attention from him, but you'll also never be able to escape his obsessive tendencies. So, are you ready for a wild ride?
Passionate kissing: He enjoys having passionate and intense kissing sessions with you, especially when there is mutual lip-biting and biting of other body parts.
Breeding: He likes how it ties into a primal and power dynamic and the physical and emotional connections it can create. He enjoys the idea of creating something together with someone, the bond it creates, and the feeling of being connected to another person in such an intimate way.
Spanking: He enjoys the physical sensation, the feeling of dominating you, and the adrenaline rush it provides. He also likes the power dynamic it creates, the control it gives him over your body, and the ability to inflict pleasure and pain on someone simultaneously.
Cock-warming: He likes intimate and tender moments, and that sounds like a delightful and satisfying way to deepen the emotional connection with you.
Public Play: He enjoys the risky and taboo aspect of getting intimate in a public area and the thrill of not being caught.
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onlytiktoks · 4 days ago
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