#I’m having a normal one over here | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

cure-icy-writes · 3 months ago

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I love it when a story externalizes the agony of the flesh actually. I love it when walls are made of meat and disembodied hands and eyes show up out of nowhere. I love it when the commodification of the human body is shown through the lens of butchery. I love the artistic gorey weird shit! I love rot and decay and mistreatment of the human body as a metaphor for the crushing oppressive systems.

#<3 #<3 <3 <3 #I’m having a normal one over here #I made an eating disorder into a metaphor for punitive justice #and a building made of meat is about capitalism #also rot and decay is about being chronically ill #I hope this post finds the freaks and weirdos. I love yall

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bitchslapblastoids · 4 months ago

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Was thinking about how much of a normo I come across as irl, how I’ve felt a lil odd person out at their shows bc of being a bit older (29) and looking so aggressively normal, how generally confused people in my life would be if they knew about my d&p obsession, how thoroughly i mask weirder traits and essentially codeswitch to suit the mainstream, etc.

i feel kind of fish out of water when I imagine how all the people that populate my tumblr phandom ecosystem are likely presenting to the world irl (I.e. more visibly queer, counterculture, and so on). But then I think maybe the most visible phannies are the ones with the most curated, alt, deliberate daytoday lewks/style? So maybe what I’m picturing is off base? But then I’m also basing this off of what audiences look like in audience footage, m&gs, etc.

Sooooooo i would like to know… do you guys feel like you present as someone who may be Deeply Online and obsessed with two gay nerds from the internet? Or do you hide it and fly under the radar, masking as a total normy and living a double life?

(To clarify I don’t mean you’re like out and about wearing the fringes boob sweatshirt lol I more mean vibes and overall lewk yk?)

#does this make any sense?#not to say we’re all abnormal freaks over here but also…. we lowkey are freaks lol #like this is not typical behavior #obvs when I say dressing alt and counterculture I’m aware phannies aren’t like a predominantly goth community or some extreme aesthetic #or what have you #I just mean that this is obviously not a super mainstream interest nor are they mainstream creators anymore #(arguably they never were. they were big but not mainstream. I think people entrenched in internet #and YouTube and phandom can become a bit tunnelvisioned and #and forget that even at their peak Dan and Phil were still #a niche interest and an unconventional one #but i digress)#basically I’m trying to figure out how many of us are also living double lives on here #I hope no one comes for my over this or it doesn’t get misconstrued #I just have like SUCH a normal job and so many people I know would be DEEPLY confused if they learned about this whole thing #and obviously there isn’t a clear binary of like normal vs. internet dwelling weirdo #and that we contain multitudes #and all things can be true simultaneously #I know I know I know you know that I know right?? but you also know what I mean right??#me yapping #dan and phil #phan

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septembersung · 3 months ago

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My dash is filled with posts on the wonders of friendship and I’m a little peeved because I’m experiencing the opposite in my real life circle right now. Someone I trusted caused drama with me, out of actual nowhere, for literally no reason, and - forget whatever personal details - I’m just deeply offended in principle to find that a grown woman would act like that outside the halls of 7th grade.

#my life #I am recalibrating but I am hurt and SO peeved #I am hurt because she’s not who I thought and neither was our supposed friendship #but even more so I just did not want to deal with this? why would you introduce this nonsense into my fragile ecosystem?#but clearly I’m getting over it because I can talk about it like a normal person now #just. I don’t have so many close friends that I can be unaffected by the loss of one yknow?#i have a good circle here but *close friends* are a different animal

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idontmindifuforgetme · 11 months ago

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#I’m only very rarely inclined to get this intimate w my thoughts so I might as well say it NOW butttt I will never not see the dead children #In everything I do #Like legit #I’ve read up on Hind so extensively and seen so many photos of her #And I have a very healthy relationship w the popular Palestinian journalists so she’s not my blorbo or anything #But hearing that memo destroyed me bc bisan is only 23 and she seemed so vivacious #Idk like I do normal people things I can’t just pause on my life #But idk how it feels like to sit at a boba place and enjoy my pearl milk tea w my friends #While the horrors over there don’t just lurk the back of my mind. I do normal things and I’m guilty for having the luxury #And as an Iraqi girl I’m living in the literal ideal timeline #Where my mom decided to immigrate to the us and that’s why I’m here living a normal life like everyone else #It’s like in a different world if I were born in a different time it could’ve so easily been me. I’m one of the Lucky Ones idk #It’s not survivor’s guilt bc it’s not like I had to survive anything like I never had the chance to live in Iraq or anything #But like. If some things had fallen just a little differently #And I keep thinking about how I’d feel if it were happening to Iraq and people behaved the way they’re doing to Palestinians #I’d be so mad #And some people on here are dealing w assholes while bursting at the seams w grief #For losing their loved ones #This is why I’m so fucking angry at anyone who’s complicit #This was a major tangent but basically I feel weird about doing normal things now while simultaneously knowing I can’t just sit and wallow #And watch life pass by as if it’ll do anything #Misery is not a home but I’m struggling to be 100% normal #And I think that this tonal dissonance is reflecting on my blog too bc I can’t go back to just #Posting about all the other normal things I used to. Like I want to but sometimes I feel off.#Is this anything. I haven’t slept all night #I can’t just allow myself to lose interest in everything I used to like and be and just fade away but maybe it’s about accepting that this #Will also always be a part of me now. It’s that awareness that shadows everything I do #or maybe I need a therapist it’s a toss up #I’ll probably feel better once I get my day started but this was cathartic to voice I think #p

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possiblyfunny · 2 months ago

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Hello again, fellas. (And to whoever is actually interested in looking at my weird little AU-) Sanctuary has been on my mind lately and uhhh, I’d like to introduce you to some new characters!

Meet the Eventide Duo: REI and KAI!

I, like with Aster and Del, have never drawn them before, and because I honestly didn’t have it in me to do two full-body drawings with color and everything, doodling them was the next best thing. I’ve been thinking about these two a lot and just really wanted to get them down as a start. Soooo—this is their first pass and things are subject to change! (Please excuse the messiness-)

Rei (the Red) and Kai (the Blue) come from—okay this is kinda funny now that I’m writing it out—their AU was inspired by an FNF fan song that I heard awhile back. It was something like “Frostbite but Blue.” The person who made the song (I don’t remember their name off the top of my head) said they were going to post the lore, but as far as I know they never did, so my brain kinda took the concept and ran with it—making it into my own story. (Sorry to whoever that was-)

Rei is the fledgling god of the Sun and the Second Coming of Arceus. He ascended to godhood after his untimely death, returning to earth to protect the one he loves. Rei may look like a massive grump, but in reality, he's a ray of sunshine and one of the most warm-hearted and protective people you'll ever meet. Kai is still a Pokémon Trainer, but he’s also Rei's singular devotee. He's honestly pretty quiet for a Blue, if not a bit high-strung, but he's loyal and sweet, even if he has a bit of a hard time showing it.

The both of them worked together to survive the violent floods and rainfall that devastated their original home, and now live a quiet life together in Sanctuary, going on little adventures here and there to try and reclaim the life they lost bit by bit.

(Okay, time to tag my one fan. @100nebulas , I think you said you wanted more Sanctuary content in general that one time, so I guess you’re gonna be eternally tagged in these lmao. Hope you enjoy :])

#WOO NEW CHARACTERS LETS GO-#Okay actually it’s 4 am and I’m dead. I genuinely thought I was going to do this tomorrow but I finished the art a few hours ago-#and just really struggled with how to write their mini bio :/ I’m tired.#But Anyway! More Characters for the Cast! Yippee!#(And for whom it may concern—Rei and Kai are the only two characters I have that are canonically (romantically) in love.)#I really wanted to do something special for all of my characters. Like- make them all full-body art and then doodle in the extra details-#and write a ton of headcanon/lore about them under a cut kinda like what the folks over at TheMissingNumbers did-#but I’ve got no drive and doodling is all I’m capable of to be honest.#But getting them down is the most important part. I can go back and reorganize everything later with better art and info.#All of my characters come in pairs (for whatever reason—not even I know.) So expect more doodles at… some point. I can’t really tell you.#Sanctuary’s main cast (and by main cast I mean the characters I think of most often) is around 8-10 characters.#(on the fence about the last two.)#But uh- don’t expect anything high-quality for awhile. I’m doing my best over here and am just trying to have fun.#Anywho- Ignore me. I hope you enjoy the new guys! For my one fan—I’d like to know what you think. :)#(Also sorry for the longer main post. I normally have a cut there but I don’t have anything to put under it. The art is just the doodle-)#(Probably should have mentioned that Sanctuary is built on a Multiverse-type base… thing. I don’t know how to describe it.#Multiple Universes. Multiple Red’s. Multiple Blue’s. All that jazz. Sorry. like I said—I’m tired :/)#(Hopefully nobody is confused-)

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trevisos · 1 month ago

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got sick and had to play this scene again

#i don’t feel like i changed magpie’s face much from my first playthrough to this #time but then i reload her original saves and it’s like. a little uncanny valley?#anyway like.#this scene is so deeply not canon for magpie due to the whole Neve Is Gone situation. that means these two would not be able to have like #normal sex. LOL #but like. the Feelings here are. the vibe is. i can imagine he still kneels like that #places himself at her feet. takes her hand in his.#he doesn’t say he loves her because he can’t. not yet.#not until it’s over.#not until neve is back in their arms.#but even still… madrigal is here and close and Alive and it’s more than he expected #it’s more than he deserves.#the first talon kneels at the feet of some no one fifth house assassin. some boy who never should have survived training. whose name was #meant to be a prophecy fulfilled and not a mantle shrugged off.#but she’s here and she’s alive and she is home. more home than antiva ever was.#and with neve still gone it’s difficult to feel anything but sick dread but he allows himself one more indulgence anyway #when he stares into magpie’s eyes and holds her hand against his heart and kisses her slow and soft and sweet.#he thought them both lost. thought that the first happiness he had ever known was stripped from him. but she came back #and maybe neve will too. maybe it will be okay. he will do whatever it takes to make it that way.#god i want him dead. LMAO #漫言 #datv spoilers #r. birds of a feather #<- i keep almost tagging them as ‘murder of crows’ but that is someone else’s tag LOL #oc. magpie #z plays da #i have to hide all my character thoughts in the tags bc i’m shy.

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bythehearts · 3 months ago

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not to bring tiktok drama on tumblr but like every time a ‘scandal’ comes out with one of these ‘production companies’ that make fan films i always hope we’re finally gonna discuss how they professionalize something that should be an hobbyist endeavor… and yet every single time i’m disappointed.

#like I know we’ve been talking about it here on tumblr and i remember seeing like one or two videos on tt about it #but other than that creators really don’t seem to be engaging critically with the impact that the very nature of what they’re doing has #and look i truly do love the art that some of the people involved in the project make #like arone is truly one of the most talented cosplayers i know #ethan is an amazing actor and I’ve followed him since before he was even in the marauders #dorian is a great writer and idk the others as well but I’m sure they are all great artists #((naming the just cause i feel like being vague would be worse in this case))#and i do believe they engaged with the project with the best of intentions #without knowing or trying to afford grace on past controversy #and it truly is a horrible predicament to have your work be tainted like that for something you had no control over #but like i do think we should be questioning the very idea of how this fanfilms have been made is inherently a problem #like fanfilms are essentially fanfiction on camera #so as long as a few cosplayers want to get together with their iphones write a script and shoot at the local park I don’t have a problem #but if you are putting in place a product that somehow requires you to fundraise consistently for two years then I have a problem with it #ESPECIALLY IF YOU ARE SELLING THE SCRIPT TO DO SO #cause even if that script hadn’t been ai generated #that script is fanfiction and you do. not. sell. fanfiction.#seriously like… do we need to go over our abc again?#like fanart and cosplayers are a bit different in the sense that people sell fanart/do commissions and they can be professional cosplayers #but for any other fanmade project that requires you to put pen to paper (or keyboard to chatgpt ig)#you need to be engaging with several ethical questions regarding any exchange of money #and personally i don’t think that there’s been engagement with those ethical reflections #and this isn’t about any of the people involved and not even about mischief productions specifically #it’s about a wider issue in how we have been collectively normalizing a way of doing things that should not be normal #and like yes star using ai and being overall not good is bad but like can we talk about EVERYTHING ELSE please

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crossbackpoke-check · 3 months ago

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yOu'Re gOiNg fOr a LiTeR? | "Habs react to Quebec Maple facts", 10.22.24

#guys this is not becoming a regular thing this is just the mental illinois breaking through but ALSO I SAW THIS AND SCREAMEDDDDD #they did this For Me. those are all my guys. like yes yes we know about xhekovský but that’s my adopted austrian son david reinbacher!!!#that’s my baby goalie carey price time travel cowboy son cayden primeau!!!! and i just LOVE that they were like #‘yeah so one of them is gonna be a bitch in both pairs. & yeah we’re gonna make them lose.’ & i am HERE for it. you know the media day vid #where they asked all of them who was brat on the team and like 75% said slaf which we all KNEW? yes. correct. even more evidence godddd #also empathize so much with him because i hate feeling stupid & he is notably like. a very smart guy w/good awareness of broader society #and sorry to get like this on a silly little post i’m about to fanfiction-ify before i have xhekovský hours but so much of this goes back #to the xenophobia in the nhl and how we treat players (not only that. people in north am/west tbh) whose first language is not english #and degrade/discredit them and their intelligence by virtue of their multilingualism and how we even think about multilingualism as a whole #e.g. the sense that certain languages are perceived as more ‘valuable’ capital/the support that SHOULD be there for language learning simpl #is not from what i can tell in the nhl so even if you wanted to foster an environment of intercultural competency they’re doing nothing to #support it. the stories!! of so many guys! reliant solely upon their teammates for basic necessities! WHERE is your language acquisition #programming. sorry the linguistics language and culture attempted to jump out there & i am not conveying what i want to say at ALL. anyway #juraj's slow descent into madness as u can SEE him visibly getting more & more over it & done is my roman empire. like he's having fun #at first he's laughing 'what is this whiskey?' & i AM thinking that toothy little grin at arber with the jerkoff hand motion about the mapl #syrup only taking a few minutes to come (out) was a dig. lord knows arber deserved it with his shorts pulled all the way up like GOD the me #you put here to wear slutty little 3" shorts live in cold CANADA and have to cover up their thigh tattoos. what a travesty. and the amount #of THIGH in this video i- biting. arber's hairy legs slaf's manspreading more as he gets frustrated & arber teases him i. and DAVID????#on a completely different note cayden with his face covered is giving me INTENSE brainworms i have the most unhinged storylines for him #AND THE BRYNDZOVE HALUSKYYYY everything past 2:00 is gold. david's tired sighs. slaf hating it here. arber having the time of his life #'taste' 'that's not an advantage' DAVID kill him. 'maple syrup specialist... normal guy 🤷' slaf you are the WORST loser and ily for it #arber defending his wife w/his life... juraj's the smartest guy in the room & arber's on his leash about it. it goes both ways (to be cont)#juraj slafkovský #arber xhekaj #david reinbacher #cayden primeau #montreal canadiens #i'm xhekovský posting leave me alone i'm also *****

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starryluminary · 2 months ago

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FINALLYYYYY GOD. THIS TOOK 2 WEEKS TO BEAT

Reached 30 tags so here’s the rest of my thoughts:

AND I PLAYED FOR ANOTHER TEN HOURS. IT NEVER ENDED

but yes. despite all that whining I did have a blast with brothership

I want to play through it again. I feel like this is the kind of game that needs a second play through to digest it properly

Ok that’s it. Glad I finished l. Goodnight folks

#mario bros #mario and luigi #mario and luigi brothership #m&l brothership #m&l brothership spoilers #brothership spoilers #thoughts and opinions time to get it out of the way!#overall the ~60 hour experience of brothership was a delight #(60 because I dick around too much. I’d average a 50 to 55 hour experience for the average joe)#the story and characters were a DELIGHT to experience #especially extension corps. my god what a collection of idiots #tradgedy I’ll never see them again #ANYWAY I found it fun going through different islands and helping the townsfolk and reconnecting islands and their people #there were so many good individual moments here. Junior making a friend is a definite highlight #but god. extension corps finding out they care about eachother and being disgusted. a riot #father and son on bulbfish reconnecting and immediately throwing punches at eachother after. hilarious #BURNADETTE AND CHILLIAMS ROMANCE ARC. BEAUTIFUL #MARIO AND LUIGIS IDEAL WORLD BEING ONE WHERE BOWSER AND FRIENDS GET ALONG. AAGGGHHHHH #normal I’m normal #the concept of glohm and how it fits into the story is also so damn good #depression beam #I do have my complaints though. like I don’t like how Luigi feels like a sidekick instead of the second player character #you play as Mario and Luigi tags along is what it feels like. and that makes me really sad cause isn’t this game about connections #LET ME CONTROL MARIO AND LUIGI EVENLY!#the final boss is also…. not all that #the fight I mean. Reclusa himself is AMAZING #but the fight felt underwhelming for a final boss. like it. had the elements that could’ve made it a great final boss #but they weren’t tied together in a way that felt satisfying? does that make sense?#last thing: it might of just been me being desperate but the game took FOREVERRRR to finish #and I don’t say that because I hate playing I say that cause there were so many times where I thought ‘oh this is it it’s almost over’

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werebutch · 3 months ago

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Dude I need to be someone else

#sucks to say but I genuinely cannot envision myself getting into another relationship no matter how bad I want one -__-#everyone even the gays here are so normal and I’m so not . and I’m also completely undesirable. WHAT IS THE POINTTTTT #I keep sabotaging my own life by avoiding everything ever but the only thing worse than that is actually doing things #doing things makes me feel even worse like I’m sooo broken beyond repair . and the worst is that at least as a teenager I could count on #someone kinda just latching onto me. how I made all my friends. but obviously adults don’t and SHOULDNT HAVE TO do that. but still sucks fo #me 😭 I feel unfixable I’m too socially inept to exist #the only way to get out of this is by making myself uncomfortable over and over but god I feel like I need divine intervention before I #actually get anywhere. guys I’m hopeless 🤦#being desired on the internet DOES NOT COUNT you guys don’t know me like that. don’t even start .. LMAO

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cure-icy-writes · 7 months ago

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Something I don’t think is talked about enough in revolutionary girl Utena meta is the way it plays with tropes in regards to her parents. The first thing the show tells you is that they both died when she was a kid, and a prince comforted her. So it seems like her parents only ever existed for the sake of her Prince.

And on another level, there’s the way she’s more vulnerable to Akio’s bullshit specifically because she’s lonely, because she wants a family.

But then you find out just how fucking devastated she was, how this utterly shattered her worldview and taught her that nothing is forever. She was maybe seven years old? I’m not an expert on child development but I feel like that’s going to have some impact on your attachment style. Her prince was actually kind of a dick. And it humanizes her, it asks you to view a little girl’s tragedy as a devastating psychological impact rather than just fuel for a man to step in and save her. It tells you that this is not a story about a prince, but a frankly fucked up little girl who is now a moderately ill adjusted teenage sapphic.

#revolutionary girl utena #I’m gonna be honest she was so real for that. I’ve been having a normal one over here and #oh miss tenjou we are really in it now

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proudfreakmetarusonikku · 5 months ago

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thinking about how people went insane over like fucking side hugs in the mcyt fandom and said they meant you were Secretly Shipping like I think those guys would have an aneurysm if you told them it’s normal in a whole lot of places for family members to kiss on the lips like. oh my god it’s so obvious some of you are american.

#Like I’m not even from a less shit country but like it’s in fact completely normal to be affectionate towards family members here #Like what are y’all fucking puritans or something. Having a fit of the vapours over family fucking. Existing in the same room.#Y’all would not live one day outside america lol

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butnotbubblegum · 6 months ago

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using the tags to vent my current emotional state into the void bc ig story feels like a bad plan for this, read at your own risk.

#but jesus christ coming back home while already knee deep in a suicidal episode was an awful idea #like i was maybe on the verge of improving and then i came back to all of this family bullshit #and the place as well like it’s so. i don’t want to say isolated necessarily. but so much it’s own little bubble #and i spent the last eight or nine years i lived here depressed and the last six suicidal #and being back here feels like the actual place is telling me to die #and i don’t think it helps that every place i go i know or know of someone who successfully committed suicide #like. oh this person drowned themself here. or that person hung themself in these woods. or several people jumped off the side of this clif #like. it all feels like reminders of my failures. and it’s like. cmon. wouldn’t it be easy. all you need to do is jump. is slit your throat #is find a decent piece of rope. idk. but everything is so much and i just want it to stop and it feels like the ground itself #is giving me a way to do it.#i genuinely feel like i’m like 16 or 17 again. and everything that isn’t within these hills #feels like a haze and not actually real. like the concept of buxton doesn’t actually exist and my friends do not actually exist and nothing #actually exists except the place i’m in and my family and the pub #i think going back to work at the pub was a mistake; i think it’s making this worse. especially because it’s henry’s dad’s local #and where henry’s wake was. and nothing there has changed at all. it’s like the whole last year never happened.#and i only need to get through two more days but it feels like an impossible task and i keep thinking being back in york will fix me but id #if that even true like. i was suicidal before i left. and it’s going to be intense and stressful and then i have to leave again.#come back here and do three full weeks of this all over again. i haven’t even managed two yet this time around. and i feel like #such a failure and such a drain on my friends (and on one in particular) because it just #is so much and has been so long and everything is complicated and awful and i think if i hadn’t come back i’d be in a normal mental state #by now. that’s the worst fucking part. and also the whole thing of i know how to be suicidal here. i know how to not give a shit about #living here. i know how to do that. but ive never had to try before. like im trying to improve and im trying to hold on and hold off the #urges to kill myself or self harm or whatever because i said i would and because i KNOW it can be better than this and bc i love my friends #and they love me and i don’t want to upset them or make them anxious or anything like that and kat made me promise to try and im trying so #fucking hard and it feels like it’s not even worth the effort because it’s so much effort and everything is so overwhelming and awful and i #hate the way my family interacts and i just want everything to stop and idc if suicide is the cowards way out or selfish or whatever #bullshit people say it feels like the only option i can actually withstand because everything is so much pain and so much effort and so muc #everything and i can’t deal with it anymore. and also i forgot just how much i have to fucking mask in front of my parents and especially m #father and it’s so exhausting and i can’t sleep and there’s so much yelling and i just need it all to stop #i’ve had major breakdowns the last 3 nights about wanting to die so much & trying so hard to not let myself & idk how much longer i can tak

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spoofyleaf · 5 months ago

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As an adult rewatching all the x-men movies, I think I’ve figured out why the movies made me uncomfortable to a personal level as a kid

#it’s the whole ‘normal’ people wanting to change the mutants bc of who they are #bc of who they were born as #like as a young child I KNEW I was trans but I didn’t have the vocabulary #the whole ‘mutants can be amung us be one of you maybe even your child and you might not even know’ bit #the whole scene where Warren tries to cut off his wings bc how his parents view mutants #how he was so scared of having his father know #the whole trying to ‘cure’ being a mutant #it’s the whole trying who hide your identity. who you are. from family and friends #it’s the whole being raised with ‘being who you are is religiously and politically and morally wrong’#the whole ‘we’re family we love you unconditionally’ unless you’re a mutant (trans)#it’s the ‘we’re the government of course we care about you and your well being. unless you’re a mutant’ (trans)#it’s the idea that there’s ‘good’ and ‘bad’ ones just based on who they are.#I’m rambling #I’m bored at work #no one reads tags anyways #except for like one mutual #hi #yea I’m talking about you #how’s you’re lmk HCs going?#yea I’m looking at you #direct eye contact over here #I’m pointing at you #anyways Kurt is trans bc I say so

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kavehater · 6 months ago

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I’ll never understand younger siblings whining about their older siblings moving away like I bet yall were nasty and annoying too like wow all those years and you claim to adore the older sibling and post oh woe is me the older sibling abandoned me … girl … the older sibling didn’t have a parental certificate or anything.

#since when were we friends nor did I have any obligation over you or towards you #we are literally roommates here acting like we’re friends #dora daily #I say this cause I saw yet another younger sibling on tiktok trying to make themselves a victim like the older one is clearly avoiding the #whole family and changing their phone number so u guys don’t contact for a reason like wth did you guys do that’s so bad they would go #through all that trouble #‘older siblings will never understand how doing that affects us physically and mentally’ oh quit whining and cope #I didn’t have an older sibling I relied on only myself heck not even strangers help me when I’m in dire need #I think yall need to cope harder and wake up to the real world #not all younger siblings but a lot of them like my little brother 13yo is good id never want to abandon him but the rest … yeah bye #idgaf you should’ve not been an idiot because believe me ik kids mess up but not like this #and now she’s grovelling at my feet bye grovel harder #like just an hour ago or so she came up to me and was like I’m going to school for the first day are you gonna miss me #I said no because she always tells me no when I ask her if she missed me #and somehow she had the audacity to be upset like okay #the same girl who tells me to move out btw #my mum said oh u have to be her best friend cause if she has nobody here then she will have to rely on strangers #and she would find herself in trouble cause they don’t have good intent oh gee I wonder which person caused me to do that #it’s honestly ironic #like Eris and virtue happened because she couldn’t step up and be a normal mother byeeee #and anyways whyre you acting like having a sibling is essential #it honestly isn’t like why would I be nice to a girl who dogs on me and beats me up and is disrespectful #she’s not that young anymore she’s almost 12 #‘oh they have different personalities’ well i hate hers and im not to be forced to like it either its my right

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ajxrn-archive · 6 months ago

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I need to be put in a waffle iron or something

#i am. really stressed!!#i hate being online i keep losing friends #Majority of them did shitty stuff to me and it makes me so sad #I already have trust problems so when people come and say theyll always be here for me and then the next thing i know im blocked because i #Expressed my discomfort about something shitty they did it makes those trust issues even worse #We were pretty close and now i regret telling him shit because he could use it against me #And im starting to fall out with my “best friend” irl. Everything is making me sick #I can’t do this anymore I really want to disappear #There has to be something about me so repulsive to people #That i just turn them away #its gonna be like that for the rest of my life isnt it? I probably wont even get a partner in the future #I just don’t know why I fuck up every friendship so bad even if it wasnt. My fault #I shouldve kept my mouth shut even if i was uncomfortable #my last friendships ended like this too #I caused a huge server fight by saying I was uncomfy and I’m pretty sure everyone hates me now because of it #even though some said they werent #I am just really lonely and feel like a piece of shit #Because I am one #I don’t really know if I want to keep being here anymore #I genuinely think nobody likes me #Even when I was in school nobody liked me #I was the “weird girl”#I just wish I was normal and likeable and then maybe I’d have friends irl #I don’t know what’s wrong with me and I’ve considered suicide over it multiple times #I ruin everything #My friendships. My life. My parents marriage. My art. Everything.#I doubt anyone will read this or gaf so just. ignore me

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