#Y’all would not live one day outside america lol

[proudfreakmetarusonikku]

thinking about how people went insane over like fucking side hugs in the mcyt fandom and said they meant you were Secretly Shipping like I think those guys would have an aneurysm if you told them it’s normal in a whole lot of places for family members to kiss on the lips like. oh my god it’s so obvious some of you are american.

[majaloveschris]

I live in the NYC area and recently received a local newsletter from my neighborhood showing outdoor summer movies in the local public park.

The reason I’m telling you this is bc something kind of interesting happened. One of the movies they were showing this summer is mrs Harris goes to paris.

In the neighborhood newsletter blurb discussing the movie, they mentioned Lesley manville (the star), AB, and then isabelle huppert.

No mention of Lucas Bravo, Jason isaacs, etc.

It was really bizarre to me bc AB being listed as second billing for a random local newsletter makes little sense to me as she was very clearly not the star or even second star. Lucas B technically should be bigger than her as he has a pivotal role in Emily in Paris which is still going on and hasn’t been canceled, and he was just in a romcom hit with George Clooney and Julia roberts last summer. He’s also a professional model and has been on runways and mag spreads this past year alone.

Ab had WN that got canceled and she didn’t even do any interviews for the second season. She has not been in any large endorsements or gotten any super prestigious roles since, but she did go public with a more famous actor.

If anyone is questioning if the PR is working…there’s your answer. Her name is getting out there and the search algorithm for her name is getting more and more out there as well.

Is any of this due to her own talent and success? (LOL)

Or is it more likely the huge PR boost given to her by someone else’s name?

I think the reason some ppl, esp team real, is doubtful about PR bc AB herself is not doing the legwork to put her name out there for more positive professional recognition. Her very actions/inactions seem to point to her hoping that the PR boost will do the work for her.

Many women who started dating more famous men usually had their own careers or would leverage the association to their professional benefit. Examples: Kaia gerber (mother is supermodel Cindy Crawford, boyfriend is Austin butler), Gigi hadid (already famous in her own right) and whatever her thing is with Leo DiCaprio, Hannah Davis (model) and Derek Jeter, Natalie V (works in the industry) and Henry Cavill. You’ll see most of these women have their own personas and social media and continue to do their own thing outside of being connected to famous men. Even if you feel they dated/married up or are opportunists as well, they still have their own thing going on. They didn’t just go into hiding so all ppl will ever think of is that they’re spending all their time following their man around.

By contrast, the dating rumors began for AB and she immediately pivots to “never being seen” unless it’s to let ppl speculate she’s with him.

She gives the vibes of a person who very much hopes the offers will fall into her lap bc she got her name attached to an A lister. She forgot that she is not marketable by herself and has no IT factor so ppl are still not checking for her. Being pretty on a basic level and attending one fashion show does not make you a star.

I know ATP the discussions on this have hit beyond the point of broken record. But I stand by it - she never wanted to work for fame. She wanted it handed to her, and still does. Her little friends JA and his sister also wanted to reap the benefits by association, and really believed all of their statuses would magically elevate due to their “association” with an A lister.

No wonder CE has spent this entire year mentioning the “industry” and what it makes you do. This was a hint, y’all.

This whole "relationship" definitely gets her name out there. WN was successful, but not enough to give her a name in HW or in America.

I think one of the other really good examples of how big of a boost it is for her can be seen on WN's number. So the official People article came out on November 10, 2022, exactly on the day the show's second season debuted. The first season had never been trending before that. Not when it came out, not when they announced the second season. However, after the announcement, not just the second but even the first season started trending, with the first season in 32 countries and the second season in 70. I've seen that a lot of people have said they only started watching the show because they wanted to see who the woman Chris is dating is. And I will also admit that back in, like, January 2022, I also checked the show because I was interested in who she is.

Obviously, I'm not saying those people didn't like WN or that they just watched two seasons because she is dating him. I'm pretty sure there were people who did it because of that, but I'm also pretty sure there were people who liked the show and the characters, but maybe they didn't even know about it before that. WN is not my cup of tea, but that doesn't mean it's a bad show. Not at all. But I think the fact that it started trending and that more people started to watch it has to do with their relationship. It has to do a lot, in my opinion.

A lot of Chris fans love them together, support them, and even defend her and their relationship. So yeah, the fact that her name is now connected to his helps her out big time.

It always bugged me that she never really promoted her work. I guess she did a little more when the second season of WN came out, but it wasn't anything special. She also seems reluctant to engage with her fans. They keep tagging her; they write sweet messages for her, but no reaction. Not even a thank-you or anything like that. They were trying so hard to save WN.

I just don't like her or her personality. I mean what we can see from it.

[raineydays411]

Mission In Progress

Steve Rogers x daughter!reader

Summary: Steve realizes that his past behavior may have cost him the love of his daughter.

A/n: Hello! This is the second part to my Steve Rogers series! I hope you like it and also I hope y’all get the little references I put in these lol💕

Masterlist

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“What do you mean Natasha taught you?”

Oh shit.

That was the collective thought between you, Nat, Clint, and Tony. It was well known among the team that Steve didn’t want his daughter learning ANY form of self defense, but those four thought that was ridiculous. She was Captain America's daughter, she definitely would need to fight off an enemy sooner or later.

“well...nat taught me the basics on how to defend myself, she said it would come in handy someday.” You say quietly, picking the thread on your sleeve rather than looking at your father.

“Romanoff, you taught her how to fight?” Steve said, fury bleeding into his eyes. “I made it perfectly clear--”

“Steve, its unreasonable for her not to know how to fight, she's the daughter of one of the worlds greatest defenders. If she doesn’t fight, she’s dead.”, Natasha said bluntly, staring Steve in the face as the other Avengers grew uncomfortable.

“She’s perfectly fine, it’s not like she leaves the Tower anyway.”

“Because if she did, you’d have someone follow her. It’s creepy, man”  Tony butts in with a roll of his eyes. By now both Bruce and Thor had silently left the room, as both of them would be useless in this conversation.

“Oh, so Tony Stark is gonna teach me how to raise a kid? Isn’t that ironic.”

“It’s not like you’re doing any better on your own. All Y/n does is stay in her room and write in that book of hers, she doesn’t even talk to people her own age.”

“It’s safer that way and you all know it” Steve snaps, refusing to even look your way. “ I set those rules for a reason, and I don’t appreciate my team mate or friends going behind my back and breaking them.”

“Look, Steve we love you, but the way you’re going about this whole parenting situation is completely wrong.” Clint finally says. “ I get that you were thrusted into this role, we all do. But man, you can protect Y/n from everything and it’s not healthy for her to be locked away in the tower like--”

“Like some modern day Rapunzel” 

“Thank you, Tony.”

“You all know the reason why she’s not allowed to leave. Its just safer that way.” Steve says, expecting the conversation to be over. “ Now, we’ll talk about this when we get back to --”

“You don’t lock me away for my protection” You say looking up with a determined face. Steve, obviously stunned you called him out like that turned to you and said

“ Excuse me?” 

“ It was never about me. If you wanted me to be safe, you would have taught me how to defend myself as soon as you could. You would have told the world about me, just to make sure everyone knows not to mess with me.” You say, your brow furrowed. “ You say its for safety, but who’s safety is it really for?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Steve says in a low, slow tone. 

“Everytime I come in a room, you tense up like I’m going to attack you.” You start to say, realizing that once you reveal what you noticed, things will never be the same. “ You monitor everything I do. You never allow me to be alone. You don’t talk to be about missions and don’t allow anyone else to.” You stand up off the couch. “ You refuse to acknowledge my mother, and won’t even let read the journal she left me.”

“That’s enough Y/n”

“No!” You shout. “ It’s not fair I don’t understand why you treat me like this.” Steve looks at you in surprise. 

“ Y/n, you don’t understand.”

“ I do. You don’t trust me.” You finally say. “ You haven’t from day one, and I don’t know why. It's not like a six year old is a Hydra agent by disguise.” 

Hearing this Steve freezes. He knows that all this surveillance was unnecessary. And deep down he knew that you could never hurt not even a fly. but that tiny voice in his head got the best of him. And even though he grew to love you more than he’d like to admit, the thought of you being am enemy scared him. 

“ You are a threat.” Steve says stubbornly. “ You came out of nowhere, with nothing but a note in the middle of the night. Your mother is nowhere to be found, and I have no idea who to even look for. You look nothing like me and defiantly don’t act like me.” 

Hearing these words is like a knife being repeatedly stabbed in your heart. It’s one thing to think that your dad doesn’t love you, it's another to hear them directly from his mouth. 

“ I have done nothing for you to treat me like this. I have done nothing to lose your trust. I didn’t ask for my mother to leave me here with you. It’s not my fault.” You say, tears starting to well up in your eyes. “ That robot asked me to go with him you know?”

The whole room freezes. You never mentioned that when Clint picked you up from the Tower.

“ He asked me to go with him, because he said I had no one. I had nothing to loose. And now” You let tears run down your face. “ Now that I know he’s right, I still wouldn’t go with him. Because I would NEVER want someone to get hurt because of me.” And with that you pushed past the group of superheros and ran outside. You didn’t know where you were going, but you had to get out of that house.

You walk into town and into a bookshop that was surprisingly open at this hour. The clerk looked at you in annoyance as you wandered the isles quietly. Picking up a copy of Romeo and Juliet, you walk toward the counter to pay.

“Tch, Romeo and Juliet?” The cashier says

“What about it?” you ask, puzzled that he cared enough to mention it. 

“Nothing if you’re thirteen and never had a boyfriend.”

“Oh really?” You say, eyes lighting up at the chance to talk to someone your own age without the gaze of an agent boring into your back.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Meanwhile, there was a tense silence in the house. Steve left with the words you told him rattling in his brain. 

“You know, Y/n always used to come to me for help picking out the perfect father's day gift for you.” Clint said breaking the silence in the room. “ She insisted we wake up hours before you to go to the shops just to surprise you. She loved wrapping the gift and the thought of making you happy.” He smiled bitterly. “ I loved every second of it, watching her reminded me of my own family. It broke my heart to see her little face deflate when you barely acknowledged the gift and treated it like it was a bomb or something.” He shakes his head and walks out. Natasha follows him and says ‘ Its late, it's not safe for her to be out there alone, I’m going to look for her.”. Then she’s gone. Leaving only Tony and Steve in the living room. It’s quiet for a few minutes. They can hear Clint playing with his children, Lila laughing as Cooper and Clint chase her. 

“ You know, all my life I had to wonder if my dad loved me too.” Tony said suddenly. “ I guess that’s why I got along with Y/n so well.”

Steve sat on the couch and sighed. “ I guess I could’ve approached this differently.”

“That's your problem Rogers, you treat her like a mission. She’s a kid. Even I know that you can’t raise a kid that way.”

Steve exhaled through his nose. “So, what do you think I should do?”  

Tony rolled his eyes again.” Well for one, you can go look for your fourteen year old daughter who ran out in the middle of the night in an area she doesn’t know.”

Steve's eyes widened and he shot up, “ Shit, I- I have to go find her.” and with that he ran out of the living room, leaving Tony alone as he heard him shout 

“Language!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It didn’t take long for Steve to get into town. The only problem he really faced was figuring out where you might be. Almost everything was closed except for a liquor store and some bars. He started to panic, as he started to think about the possibility of you being hurt or kidnapped or--

“Hey bomb pop, over here” someone whispers

Steve looks around to see Natasha standing in front of a bookshop. He jogs up to her and asks

“Nat what are you--” “SHHH, look” she points into the window.

At first Steve didn’t know what he was looking at. All he saw was two kids flirting on some bean bags. But then he looked closer and realized that was his kid flirting on some bean bags. He got ready to burst in there and drag her out, which surprised him.

“What are you doing” Natasha harshly whispered, “This is the first time in years y/n has talked to someone her age, and I will NOT let you ruin it.”

“But does it have to be a boy” Steve whines, then he shrinks back as Nat glares at him. 

“You have no right to play protective daddy right now, you--”

“Dad? Nat? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It’s been about an hour since you started talking to Levi, the cashier. Even though he insulted your book choice

“It’s a play about two bratty kids who think they’re in love and then kill themselves, its pathetic”

He’s interesting. He has this harsh exterior that is refreshing to you. You liked that he didn’t handle you with kids gloves like the rest of the Avengers did. He let you stay behind after closing as long as you helped him clean, but you didn’t last long because apparently you “cleaned like a blind person with no hands” whatever that means. After cleaning you two sat and talked about music and his friends. It was nice. That was until you felt eyes on you.

Looking out the window you noticed two figures staring at you. One petite red head and a tall blonde to be more specific. Rolling your eyes, you say goodbye to Levi and thank him for one of the best nights you’ve had in a while. As you left he did something that surprised you.

“Hey brat, here’s my number.” He says as he gives you an old receipt, “ Don’t expect me to text you all night, I have a life too.” 

You just smile and say thank you, blushing as you realize this was your first friend in years. You put the number in your pocket and walk outside. 

“Dad? Nat?” You ask, cutting their little squabbling short. “What are you two doing here?” 

Nat and Steve stand up straight. 

“It was getting late and I was worried so I came to find you” Natasha said, “ But it seems to me that you were quite alright in there” She finishes with a smirk. You blush as you try to think of a retort. Before you say anything, you hear your dad clear his throat. You roll your eyes.

“Don’t worry, I wasn’t getting intel on how to kill you or whatever you think what will happen if i make friends.” You again push past the two avengers, your good mood spoiled as you walk away. You hear some harsh whispering then your name is called. 

“Y/n” your father calls, “I think we need to talk.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tag list: @angeldreineedshelp @night-thinqer @ilyimagines @vxidsti1es @big-galaxy-chaos

[buckys-other-punk]

Hold on..THIS IS YOU?!

Pairing: Sebastian Stan x Reader

Request: where she is a fanfic writer and Sebastian stumbles upon her blog and messaged her as well not letting her know who he was but being an open person she is as to who she was, sending pictures and all, and until one day, decides to meet with her and she is surprised that it was the one she was writing for?

Word Count: 3.6K

Warnings: fluff, sarcasm (of course) and cussing? i think that’s all

A/N: Hello my lovelies. I am sorry I haven’t been posting as much, but that’s usually how I roll..no jk I legit had no time to write because of my classes this semester, so if this sucks I’m sorry lol. I’m still trying to get back into my writing groove...Also don’t mind my minor mistakes 😅

A/N 2: Anyways I AM BACK AND this is my first request ever!! I’m so excited to write this, I am soo sorry this took forever, but hope I did your request justice and that you like it (and so do others). I feel like I wrote this kinda cheesy, but whatever.

[Y/B/N = your blog name]

As always lemme know if you wanna be tagged in my future works and feedback is very much appreciated. Enjoy! <3

Just another normal day without stress and a less anxiety filled world...no, today was actually awful. You were swamped with work and your best friend was complaining about her boyfriend. Let’s just say that the stress she was having with him was making you feel happy that you were single. Trying to relax you heated up some coffee (a/n: or tea) and sat on the couch of your small apartment. Grabbing your laptop you wanted to unwind reading. Probably some fanfics on Tumblr usually does the trick. 

After reading some pretty good marvel related fics by your mutuals, you got inspired to write some fics yourself. Opening up a new tab you began writing about your favorite actor, Sebastian Stan. That man literally makes your miserable day a little better. Sadly, like all the girls and women who fantasize over him, he doesn’t know you. But, whatever right? You can always use your imagination and conjure up a make believe world where the two of you are happily engaged and have a German Shepard puppy named Stitch. Shaking your head to clear your thoughts, you opened another tab on your laptop to pull up your writing playlist, you began typing away on your keyboard writing a new AU where you’re the celebrity of the world you were creating and he was a huge fan of you. After you finished your new fic, you posted that immediately without edits because you were so excited to see people read it.

*across town*

“Have you guys ever read any fanfiction about your characters or yourselves?” the interviewer asked the pair.

“You know I’ve seen a few that were quite impressive. These writers are damn creative.” Anthony replied with a smile. “I will also not lie. I’ve read a few steamy ones and y’all are dirty.” he added with a slight disgusted face shaking his head towards the camera.

“What about you Sebastian? Have you read any?” the interviewer lady asked, looking over to the man.

“Honestly. I haven’t.” Sebastian chuckled looking back at her. “Maybe, if Mackie here finds a good one about me I’ll give it a read.” shrugging towards his friend.

“Oh man, I got a few that are worth reading.” Mackie laughed, rubbing his hands together.

“Hey, might as well share them with the world. Let’s give that writer a shout out!” she exclaimed, placing her notecards on her lap.

“Well, like I’ve said I’ve only read a bit, but I do have some blogs that I’ve saved. Maybe next time I’ll name drop a few and give fans some well deserved praise.” Anthony smiled looking at the two.

“Alright, well you better have a huge list for me.” the lady said with a smile looking at Anthony. “Thank you both again for your time. For everyone watching Falcon and the Winter Soldier comes out in March 2021.” She finished off the interview smiling and waving at the camera and the two men followed her actions as well. Once the cameras and mics were turned off the lady came back to the two men.

“Thank you again guys for your time” the lady said to the pair shaking their hands (a/n: ok let's pretend there is no corona in this world so yeah. Everyone is healthy and so is the world!). The two replied with a simple you’re welcome and another thanks in return.

“Wait, have you really read fanfiction before?” Sebastian asked his co-star as the pair walked towards their manager, who was waiting for them outside the room, getting their schedule for the pair’s next interview.

“I mean yeah. I got curious on what people were writing about us and our characters.” Anthony responded with a shrug looking down at his phone.

“Aren’t most of those like fifty shades of grey?” Sebastian asked, staring at his friend as stood near their manager.

“Only if you want them to be..” Mackie stared at his friend with a blank face as they came to an abrupt stop. “Nah man, I’m just playing. Some of them are steamy, others can be sad, like crazy sad and some are like tooth rotting cute. Like I recently read one that was with Captain America and this original character that the author came up with and it made me say ‘aww’ when I finished it. Me. A grown man said ‘aww’ after reading a fanfic. A FANFIC!” he added. Their manager quickly explained their schedule and walked them over to their car to head off to the next location. The two were seated at the back, while their manager sat next to the driver.

“You know what. Send me that story you read.” Sebastian said to Anthony.

“Are you sure Seb?” Anthony asked with a chuckle.

“Yeah, why not.” he replied with a shrug. “Might as well read a good story before our next interview.”

“Alright let me send it to you right now. Honestly I think this writer is one of my favorites. I don’t know if it's her writing style or how she portrays our characters, but she’s amazing.” Mackie said with a smile getting the fic he recently read and sending it to his friend. 

“So all her stories are good?” Sebastian asked, looking at the notification.

“I just said that she is my favorite writer.” Anthony looked at his friend with a ‘are you serious face.’ 

“Okay. Okay.” Seb said with his arms up in defense. After a few minutes of reading the fanfic Sebastian actually said ‘aww’ aloud just like Mackie after he first read the story.

“It was good wasn’t it.” Anthony asked with a toothy grin.

“Yeah this was really good. Y/B/N is a pretty good writer.” Sebastian said looking through your feed.

“You should tell her!” Anthony exclaimed.

“What, like make an account?” Seb asked.

“Well yeah, but I mean not your actual name of course. Make a fan account. Show these writers your appreciation, I know that if I were an author I would love that (a/n: wink wink). I’ve messaged a few writers complimenting their work without actually telling them who I am.” Anthony said, placing his hand on his friend’s shoulder.

“I’m gonna read more stuff from her before I message her.” Sebastian chuckled. Sebastian clicked onto your main blog page to find that you had just posted a new fic about him. “Wait, dude she just posted a new story...About me!” Sebastian exclaimed, showing his phone to Anthony. 

“Nice, but we have to finish these interviews. You gotta read it during your free time man, sorry to crush your dreams.” he chuckled, unbuckling his seat belt and getting out of the car. Sebastian sighed and followed his co-stars actions getting out of the car and continuing the rest of his day filled with interviews.

*later that evening*

After the interviews Anthony and Sebastian had dinner together at a fancy restaurant. During their dinner they talked about how crazy some interviews were. Sebastian brought up the subject of how Mackie publicly announced that he had read fanfiction. With that still stuck in his mind the two finished their meal and after parting ways. Sebastian took a cab and arrived at his apartment, changed out of his fancy suit to some comfy clothes and grabbed a bottle of water from his fridge. He walked over to his couch turning on the tv, not really paying attention to what was playing, grabbing his phone he opened the tumblr app finally creating an account.

*one week later*

Sebastian has read almost all of your works and texting Anthony almost every time after he has finished a new fic giving his reactions to each. He has liked and reblogged everything he has read from you and other writers, but he favors your stuff the most.

Mackie: dude you should tell her you like her stuff and stop texting me!

Seb: Alright I will, I just don't know what to say.

Mackie: Just say you like her work. It's as simple as that.

Seb: okay okay I will

Mackie: ok good, no stop texting my its legit 2 am

Seb: fine

Sebastian opened up the messaging area of the app and began typing away his appreciation to you. He didn’t know why he felt so nervous after he pressed send. Getting out of the app completely he tried to focus on whatever was playing on the tv. Then all of a sudden he heard a notification go off and his phone light up. Looking down on it he saw that it was a notification from you. Again his nervousness took place as he unlocked his phone to read the notification. The app opened and the direct message filled his phone screen.

(a/n: this is my first time using a fake dm thingy so just imagine that Seb is following you)

Seb: Holy shit dude, she actually replied back to me!

Mackie: Well of course she did, she's not a robot. But maybe she is since she’s up so late...

Seb: shut up and why are you still up? I though you were mad at me for texting you

Mackie: well you woke me up so what am i supposed to do

Seb: whatever I’ll let you go

Mackie: alright. bye lover boy 

Sebastian shook his head at the text, he went back to the app to reply back to you. “What should I say?” he said to himself. “Maybe she’s in a different time zone or lives across the world or something… Okay okay. Maybe be chill and say I hope i didn’t wake you? No that sounds weird.” he shook his head trying to come up with something to say. Eventually he fell asleep trying to think of what to say to you.

*the next morning/later that day*

Sebastian woke up with his phone gone from his hand. He quickly got out of his bed in panic to look for it. Maybe you had said something to him or he had said something dumb to you. Once he found his phone he quickly unlocked it to check and thank god he didn’t say anything stupid. But he didn’t say anything. He shook his head clearing his thoughts. “Alright I think I know what to say.”

Y/N’s POV

You woke up to the sound of cars honking, groaning you looked at your clock. “How is it already 10 am?” you said aloud to nobody in particular. You sat up on your bed and grabbed your phone scrolling through various social media apps. At the top of your screen you saw a notification from tumblr. Opening the app to the notifications section, you noticed it was a blog that had messaged you from earlier in the morning.

sebstan_fan: Nice to meet you Y/N. I’m Carter. I don’t know where you live, but I just woke up and had a dream about one of your fics. (wow I hope that didn’t sound creepy)

You smiled at the message, since you loved interacting with your followers.

y/b/n: haha its ok. I actually live near New York City and I also woke up. What was your dream about? (if i can ask)

Sebastian’s POV

Sebastian had just finished taking a shower and began preparing his late breakfast. “Holy shit she replied again!” he said to himself looking at the message.

sebstan_fan: Wait, you live near NYC! Me too! Wow such a small world. But anyways my dream was honestly just a reenactment of your fic.

y/b/n: that’s so crazy how we live near each other lol. But that's so cool how you dreamt about my work. You must have really liked it.

sebstan_fan: yeah it was really interesting how you wrote such a life like scenario.

y/b/n: thank you Carter <3

sebstan_fan: ok I now this is random, but what’s your favorite place to eat in New York?

y/b/n: ooh that’s tough. Let’s go with Lombardi’s since its the very first pizza place to open in the US

sebstan_fan: oh wow an excellent choice :)

*a couple weeks later*

You and your new tumblr friend have been talking about one another’s favorite hobbies and interests for the past few weeks. You feel like you have grown a new connection with your new friend and telling them about your shitty days at work. Today your best friend wanted to bring you with her and her boyfriend to some fancy restaurant. 

y/b/n: Carter, I’m practically third wheeling with her and her boyfriend. 

sebstan_fan: well that sounds awful. Where is she taking you?

y/b/n: idk to some fancy restaurant I’ve never heard of. Anyways she’s making me wear fancy clothes, but I just wanna wear my pajamas!

sebstan_fan: y/n come on. you gotta dress nice if other people are dressing nice too 

y/b/n: ughh ok I think I found something nice. *sends picture of yourself in an elegant dress* what about this?

Seb’s POV

Sebastian got a glass of water and sat back down on his couch. Unlocking his phone to see the new dm from you he spit his water out of his mouth wetting the coffee table in front of him. “HOLY SHIT SHE’S GORGEOUS!” he yelled aloud staring at his phone in awe of your beauty.

sebstan_fan: Y/N, you look amazing! That dress is literally making you glow!

y/b/n: stop you’re making me blush..my friend just pulled up. I’ll dm you later once this stupid night is over. 

sebstan_fan: alright have fun 

y/b/n: <3

Sebastian quickly called Mackie to tell him that you sent him a photo of yourself. 

“Dude, she is unbelievably gorgeous. I actually spit my water out all over my coffee table when I saw the picture. ” Sebastian said on the phone.

“Man you are so obsessed with her, it's kinda creepy.” Anthony replied through the phone.

“What? No man, we just clicked. We have a bunch in common and she’s really easy to talk to.” Sebastian gushed to his friend.

“Yeah, but she doesn’t know that you’re lying to her about your real identity. You’re like fucking Superman with a secret persona!” Anthony snickered at the man on the other line.

“Dude no, but I’ll tell her eventually that I’m me.” Seb replied back to Anthony.

“Well you better do it soon because I’m tired of hearing about you gushing over this woman.” Anthony huffed under his breath. “Anyways I gotta go so bye bitch.” 

Sebastian laughed at his friend hanging up the phone and heading to his room getting ready for bed. As he laid on his bed he couldn’t take his mind off of you in that dress. You were so open with sharing your life to him, a complete stranger, yet he couldn’t do the same.

*the next day*

y/b/n: Carter! I forgot to dm you once I got home, but that dinner was terrible. I hated every minute of it.

sebstan_fan: what happened? Also good morning :)

y/b/n: good morning, sorry if I woke you. But anyways my best friend and her boyfriend brought some dude to make it a double date and the guy was a complete douche. I couldn’t stand a minute being there.

sebstan_fan: damn I’m sorry to hear that. I bet if I was there with you the night wouldn’t have been so bad haha

y/b/n: creepy..jk But I bet we would have completely ditched my friend and her boyfriend lol

sebstan_fan: wait, I got an idea! I mean since we live around the same area why don’t we meet!

y/b/n: what like in person?

sebstan_fan: no through zoom, yes in person!

y/b/n: wow the sarcasm in this one, but that sounds like a lovely idea. I feel like I already know so much about you tho...

Sebastian huffed under his breath, “not everything.”

sebstan_fan: lol yeah but it’ll be different to meet in person. Anyways where should we meet?

y/b/n: lol that’s true. Well I know this small cafe that’s so cute and I heard they have pretty good pastries. It would be awesome to meet there :D

sebstan_fan: alright how about Saturday afternoon? You don’t have work right?

y/b/n: nope I’m off! but that sounds good to me! I’m so excited and nervous at the same time. Like what if you’re some creepy stalker...

Sebstan_fan: why would you accuse me of such a thing?!

y/b/n: lol you know i’m just messing with you. But I gotta go my friend is now calling me, probably about that douche from last night...but I can’t wait to see you Carter!<3

“Yeah, me too.” Sebastian said to himself smiling.

*Saturday*

You sat at the cafe where you told your new tumblr friend to meet you. You ordered a drink and once it was finished, you grabbed it and sat near the windows saving a seat for Carter. As you waited you pulled out your laptop and began on typing away a new fic idea drawing inspiration from the small cafe and the gloomy weather outside. 

“I’m sorry that seat’s taken...” you muttered to a man who pulled out the chain next to you, looking up at the figure. “Holy shit!” you exclaimed to the man who sat next to you.

“Shhhh...Please don’t say anything.” Sebastian whispered to you, sitting on the chair next to you and taking off his sunglasses.

“What? But how? You’re!? I can’t breathe.” you exclaimed erratically looking down at your drink.

“Hey, hey Y/N, just calm down and take slow deep breaths.” he said calmly placing his hand on your back.

“How the fuck do you know my name?!” you exclaimed again staring wide eyed at the actor. “Am I getting pranked or something? Where are the cameras?!” you nervously laughed looking around the empty cafe.

“No, you’re not getting pranked. It’s me Carter…” he said quietly rubbing the back of his head.

“You’re Carter?! I thought you were a girl!” you said looking into the man’s blue eyes.

“I may have lied about who I was, but I wanted to meet you.” he started as he stared down at the ground. “I didn’t want you to freak out knowing that it was actually me.” he said looking back up at you.

“Let me just gather my thoughts for a sec.” you said, putting your hand to your temples.

“Wait, why did you assume I was a girl?” he asked with a smirk.

“I don’t know! Carter is a unisex name.” you frantically said with a shrug. “And I mean most of my followers are female, so I just assumed you were one too.” you added grabbing your drink and taking a sip to calm your nerves.

“That makes sense I guess.” he said chuckling, looking out the big window of the cafe.

“This is so crazy that you are here. Sitting next to me and talking about my stupid tumblr blog.” you uttered. “Like you’re famous!”

“Yeah so what.” he looked back to you. 

“I mean aren’t you busy filming and stuff?” you asked the man.

“Nope, we just wrapped up the interviews a couple of weeks ago. I’m on vacation.” he said with a toothy grin, which made you blush. “Aww look she’s blushing.” he said sweetly towards you.

“Shut up. It’s not like I get to meet my favorite actor who I’ve had a crush on since forever sitting next to me and casually conversing with.” you muttered quickly hoping he didn’t hear your profession of love for him.

“You got a crush on me?” he smiled at you.

“Fuck you. I do not!” you exclaimed looking away from him.

“Aww I think you do.” he said, nudging your shoulder.

“Whatever.” you said under your breath trying to hide your embarrassment.

“Hey, I’m in awe too.” he began, which made you look at him. “It’s not like I get to see a beautiful woman who I like.” he smirked at you.

“I think I’m dreaming. Did you just say you like me?!” you asked pinching yourself back into reality.

“I mean yeah. I really like your work as a writer and the past what month we’ve been talking I think you’re a really cool and sweet person.” he said now blushing. 

“I bet you say that to all the women you meet.” scoffing at his comment.

“No I’m serious Y/N. I think you’re a really talented writer. And I think you’re also really pretty.” again blushing, but this time he looked straight at you.

“Oh, wow. Thank you so much Sebastian.” you hesitated, your cheeks heating up. “That means a lot coming from you.” you smiled.

“Of course. And also I wanted to ask you in person if after coming clear about who I actually am, if you wanted to go out sometime. I know its weird and all sudden but-”

“Yes!” you exclaimed quickly cutting him off. “I mean. I would love to.” you said more calmly. “God, I’m trying so hard to keep my inner fangirl in.” you huffed under your breath. 

Sebastian laughed at your comment and then asked, “Alright then. What about tomorrow I take you out for dinner?” 

“That sounds delightful.” you smiled at the man. The two of you fell silent watching the people who passed by the small cafe.

“Oh, but can I ask you one more question? Why are you wearing a hat? And shades earlier? It's legit rainy and cloudy as hell outside.” you asked, looking at the man with your head resting on your hand.

“I’m going incognito. I don’t want my fans to recognize me.” he replied, taking a sip of his coffee.

“Are you embarrassed of them seeing you with me?” you hesitantly interrogated.

“No, I just don't want them to interrupt our first date.” he responded with a smirk looking at you.

“Wait, this is a date?!” you exclaimed with wide eyes.

“Only if you want it to be sweetheart.” Sebastian smirked, winking towards you.

“Fuck you.” You said with a smile.

A/N: Yay you finished! Was that good? bad? cheesy? lemme know lol Again if you wanna be tagged in future fics, have any requests or just wanna chat hit me up! Thank you guys for reading and I hope you get excited for more stuff to come.

Tags: @lostinthoughtsandfeelings @sebtheromanianprince​ @aquabrie @who-the-hell-is-sebastianstan​ @princess76179​ @anbrax5553​ @wintersoldierissucharide @caplanbuckybarnes​ @miraclesoflove​ @kitkatd7 @msgreenverse @saiyanprincessswanie​ @fandomsandxfiles @hailmary-yramliah @coffeebooksandfandom​ @thefallenbibliophilequote

^please lemme know if you wanna be added to future works or removed for tags^

[dearest-bucky]

One kiss is all it takes (One Shot)

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: Requested by @softcobain - Where reader who’s Bucky’s best friend ask him to teach her how to kiss bc she really wants to impress a guy she’s going on a date with? But Bucky is totally in love with her, at first he doesn’t want to but then he agrees.

Words: 3.8K

Warnings: angst, fluff, one first detailed kissing scene lol

A/n: Because tumblr is apparently dumb I can’t tag the sweetheart that requested this, but @softcobain I really hope you like this love! 💕 Guys I got goosebumps while writing this, I hope y’all like it too.

Feedback is greatly appreciated! xx

The door of her small apartment made a small squeaky noise as she pushed it open. She wasn’t all that surprised to find it open, her key once again useless. The only noises in the otherwise quiet apartment were coming from the TV that was left on, some detergent commercial playing in one random channel. She turned on the small lamp next to the couch that she usually used to read at night, and smiled as the figure that was sleeping on her small and uncomfortable couch was illuminated by the soft light.

She crouched down next to him and softly touched his hair, making him stir in his sleep. “Hey sleepyhead, what are you still doing here?”

He opened one eye and when he was met with her face, a small smile crept onto his lips. “Hey, you’re back. Thought I’d wait up for you but apparently I failed at that too.”

She chuckled at his words and patted his cheek lightly. “Don’t worry about it. I’m here now.”

Bucky offered her a shy smile and got up in a sitting position, making space for her to sit on the couch too. “So, how was it?” He asked after she sat next to him.

She remained silent for a moment, as if she was thinking hard about the answer, but there was a smile plastered on her lips and a dreamy look on her eyes that kind of told Bucky everything he wanted to know. The answer, despite it not being said, was shown, written in her every feature. She finally turned her head on the side to face him, and then replied. “It was great. He asked me out again on Friday.” Her smile never faltered, but as she looked at Bucky’s reaction her eyes narrowed a little in curiosity.

He nodded at her words and fixed his stare down, unable to look her in the eye anymore. He cleared his throat once and then without even looking at her again, got up from the couch. “That’s great, if you’re happy then I’m happy too. It’s better if I go back to my apartment now. Good night Y/n.” He didn’t even spare her another glance and left her apartment in a hurry, not even allowing her the time to wish him good night too. He slammed the door closed behind himself harder than he intended to and that made him wince, but he wasn’t about to go back and apologize  for that.

With short but quick steps he arrived at his door on the other side of the hall and when he entered his apartment, without even realizing, he slammed his door shut too. He knew he had no right to be mad at her for going out on a date with somebody else, but he simply couldn’t talk his broken heart down. He’d been head over heels with Y/n for years and now having to see her date someone that wasn’t him, it was damn painful.

How could he even begin to explain what he felt for Y/n? Truth is he didn’t even remember how it all started.

After the Avengers defeated Thanos and Steve went to the past to get his second chance in life, Bucky chose to not stay with the rest of the Avengers at the new Avengers’ compound. Instead, with the help of Sam he bought a small apartment in Brooklyn where he’d been living for the last four years.

Y/n moved in her apartment on the other side of the hall only a couple of months after Bucky. When she was moving her furniture in, Sam, just like the perfect wing man he is, managed to introduce Bucky and Y/n, claiming they’d be neighbors so they needed to know each other if one of them ever ran out of sugar or flour. Bucky had scowled at Sam in annoyance but Y/n had only giggled at the new Captain America’s words and shook Bucky’s hand. “He’s right.” She had told him. “You’ll never know when one could need the help of a superhero.”

He had blushed then, at her words, and a smile had replaced the previous scowl.

That day they had both helped her move in, carrying the heavy boxes and the furniture. After everything had been put inside her new apartment, Sam and Bucky excused themselves and wished her a good night, seeing it was dark outside already. She had thanked them both for their help and when they were on the hall, she called out to Bucky. “Don’t be a stranger.”

He had smiled at her and nodded his head.

Ever since that day they’d spend many more days together, hanging out at each other’s apartments, but mostly at Y/n’s because she, as Bucky put it, had the better couch, despite the fact that it was smaller than his, but he enjoyed sitting close to her and watching movies and eating chinese takeout  almost every night. Eventually those nights became an every night occurrence, and without even realizing, Y/n and Bucky had become best friends, helping each other with everything, relying to each other, taking care of each other whenever one was sick, mostly Y/n. She even managed to help him calm down after a nightmare when he had knocked on her door at 3 am sweating and crying in pain.

In the last four years they had become almost family to each other.

Despite her very friendly nature, Y/n was actually very shy when it came to romantic relations. So whatever feeling Bucky started developing for his neighbor/best friend, he buried deep inside his heart, not wanting to make her feel uncomfortable. Because he knew there was no way someone as perfect as her would even like back someone like him.

Now he had to stand by and watch someone else take her out on dates and make her happy, when that could’ve been him.

With a heavy heart Bucky laid down on his bed and closed his eyes, a long sigh escaping his parted lips.

Bucky didn’t see Y/n the entire upcoming week. She was busy with her work and he spent most of the days at the compound, training for the next mission.

Days had been passing slowly and he missed her so much every passing  minute, especially on the evenings when they’d be almost cuddled up next to each other on her couch and binge watching whatever Netflix series was on his “to-watch-list”. He wanted to knock on her door but he couldn’t find it in himself to do so. After all she had started seeing someone now so he didn’t know if she still wanted him to go over.

It was almost 6 pm on a Saturday when he heard the hesitant knocks on the wood of his door and he moved lazily through his apartment to answer it. He was surprised to find Y/n on the other side of it.

She was wearing a nice dress, perfect for the warm weather of May evening and even more perfect for her. She looked absolutely breathtaking, but the almost panicked expression written all over her face made him break out of his stupor sooner than he would’ve wanted.

“Hey, Y/n. What’s up?” He spoke a little awkwardly, not knowing how to act around her anymore. It seemed as if it had been an eternity since the last time he saw her. Usually when she came over, she never knocked and she would always greet Bucky with a hug or a kiss on the cheek, but that seemed like a long time ago, and somewhat an inappropriate thing to do now.

She greeted him with a small smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes and asked him if she could come in.

“Uhmm, yeah yeah, sure.” He said, a little confused, but moved on the side to let her inside his apartment and closed the door again.

He saw her move towards the living room, but she never sat down, standing awkwardly in the middle of the small space between the couch and his coffee table.

“Is everything alright Y/n?” He asked then, unable to bare the silence anymore.

She picked her head up and looked at him, a look Bucky couldn’t quite understand. “I need your help.” She finally spoke. Her voice was unsure, even a little shy when she spoke, but he heard her loud and clear.

“Sure, doll. What can I do for you?” Always the hero. Always trying to help. Always helping.

She remained silent for a moment, as if wanting to organize her thoughts well and then she finally started speaking again. “So you know I’ve been talking to this guy for the past month..” she began and Bucky noticed how she was picking up at the skin of her fingernails, a tick of nervousness he knew she had. He moved closer to her and placed his hands on hers, stopping her assault on the fragile skin that had started to bleed a little already.

“What about him? Is everything okay? Is he bothering you? Do I need to kick his ass?” His mind was running a million miles per minute, thinking of the worst case scenarios, but she only shook her head lightly in response.

“Everything is okay with him. He’s great. It’s just…” She hesitated a little before she continued again. “Last night we went out and at the end of the date he walked me home and when he was saying goodnight he leaned in and wanted to kiss me and I turned away so he ended up kissing me on the cheek.” She explained, blushing a little and Bucky was listening to her every word intently.

“Tonight we’re going out again, to the movies this time and this is the third date and I’m thinking we should kiss, right? But I don’t know.” She concluded and let go of his hands that were holding hers, moving to the couch and finally sitting.

Bucky followed her lead and sat too. “You don’t know what?” He asked. If she were unsure about this guy she shouldn’t feel obligated to kiss him. She didn’t owe him anything. She should know that.

But Y/n surprised him with the next words she spoke. “I don’t know how to kiss.” She said and a crimson red painted her cheeks after the words had left her mouth.

Bucky could only stare at her, a little shocked at the confession and that only made her feel more embarrassed than before. “Forget it, this was a stupid idea.”  She said when he took a moment too long to reply and she tried to get up from the couch, but Bucky finally came to his senses.

“No, please doll.” He spoke softly and she sat down again. “I’m sorry.” He continued. “You took me by surprise, that’s all. I mean, how is it possible that you don’t.. you know.. know? How to kiss?”

The entire situation was embarrassing and awkward and they both were wishing the ground would open and swallow them whole.

Y/n felt her cheeks aflame by the embarrassment she was feeling. She knew it was a crazy idea to come to Bucky about this, but he was her only friend.

Despite the fact that she was 26 years old she was an introvert and she didn’t have many friends. Except for Bucky who was her best friend, she had another childhood friend back in her hometown but she was too far to come and help Y/n with her situation.

Her entire life she had avoided people as much as possible, especially boys and men. She never had a boyfriend in her life and she never even kissed a boy before. That’s why she was in  Bucky’s apartment now, asking him for help.

“I just..” she stuttered a reply. “Never kissed someone, so I don’t know how..” Her words were spoken in an almost hushed whisper, still mortified from the situation at hand.

“Okay, so you need me to…?”

“To teach me how to kiss.” She said matter of factly but she regretted the words as soon as they left her mouth. They had sounded better in her head than they did when she said them out loud, but there was no way she could take them back now.

Bucky’s eyes widened at her request but he composed himself quickly. He was a highly trained assassin for God’s sake, he knew how to mask his  emotions, but apparently not around Y/n. “I can’t do that!” He finally exclaimed and he watched her face fall after those words. “I mean, it’s not fair to you.” He was quick to add and Y/n looked back up at him. “It’s your first kiss and it should be with someone you have feelings for. Not with me.”

“But Bucky…” A sound of protest left her lips. Those rosy and pillowy lips that he had wished so many times to kiss and that were now asking him to do so. “I’m going to be so embarrassed when he tries to kiss me again and I just stay there. It will be terrible if I just froze in the spot, you know.” She was trying to reason with him as much as she could. “Please? I kind of like this guy and I don’t wanna look stupid in front of him.”

“Doll. You could never look stupid.” He replied, still not saying anything about her request.

He wanted to give in and kiss her so much, but he was afraid he wouldn’t be able to stop once he started. His heart and his mind were in war at the moment.

“Please Buck?” She tried again. “You know I wouldn’t ask this of you if it wasn’t really important to me.” She pleaded and Bucky knew who won the battle inside of him. How could he refuse those lips that he had dreamed of for several years now? How could he refuse her pretty eyes, giving her that sad puppy dog look he absolutely adored? He simply couldn’t. That’s why he found himself slowly nodding his head in response.

“Okay, okay doll. I’ll help.” He said and she nodded back to him, a small smile forming on her lips. “Just one kiss to show you how it’s done.”

“Okay.” She replied and he let out a long breath at the sight of her looking so hopeful now, and beautiful, always.

They turned their bodies to face each other and Bucky cupped her cheek with his flesh hand. Ever so slowly he started closing the distance between their faces, until their noses were almost touching.

Y/n had closed her eyes and was waiting for him to place his lips on hers, but she could only feel his soft breath tickling her lips, but not touching them.

“Relax, doll.” She heard him say and her shoulders sagged a little, finally free from the tension she’d been holding in. “Just go with it and let it happen.”

She was ready to say something when she finally felt his lips touch hers, so softly she thought she must be dreaming it. With the same softness he started kissing her lips, slowly, gently, just like a breeze touching the leaves on the trees. He slowly coaxed her lips to part and she quickly complied, allowing him to deepen the kiss a little, feeling the kiss a little more. He was caressing her lips with his, happy to finally be able to do so, his flesh hand holding her cheek while the metal one moved to her hair, carding through her silky locks.

Too soon for his liking she ended the kiss, but she didn’t back away from him. Her eyes were hooded and her lips still parted when she whispered his name. “Buck..”

It was all he needed to delve in again for another kiss, this one more passionate. He couldn’t hold back anymore, coaxing her mouth open with his tongue, kissing her lips with a passion that was about to burn him entirely. He had been holding back for too long.

The hand in her hair gripped the locks tightly in between the fingers and he felt her let out a small moan against his mouth at the action, which only spurred him to kiss her more. Tongues hugging each other and teeth clashing with each other, biting and kissing and licking lips, starved for each other.

Her hands had found home in his shirt, bunching the material in her fists as she reciprocated his kiss with everything she had.

They had been so lost in each other, not even considering about stopping, until the phone in her pocket ringed and she whined lowly in Bucky’s mouth in annoyance.

“Forget about it.” He spoke between kisses but the device continued ringing until they were forced to part away from each other. Y/n had an apologetic look in her eyes as she fished the phone out of her pocket and she visibly winced when he saw the name on the screen.

She waited a moment until she fixed her breath before answering. “Hi, Andrew.” She spoke, not looking at Bucky anymore. “Yes, I’m ready. I’ll be down in 5 minutes. Okay.” She hung up the phone and finally looked at Bucky again.

He had an unreadable expression in his face while he was still trying to catch his breath from the mind-blowing kiss they just shared.

“I’m sorry. My date is here, I have to go.” Y/n said and waited for Bucky to say something, anything, but he just nodded his head and got up first from the couch, moving to the front door and opening it for her.

She got up too and walked out of the apartment, unable to say another word to him. When she finally reached the door of her own apartment and was entering it, Bucky finally decided to break the silence.

“You’re a quick learner Y/n. Kiss him like that and he’ll be yours forever.” She wanted to laugh at his words, but she just turned her head back and smiled sadly at him.

“Thanks Buck.” She said before he closed the door and entered his apartment again.

This is it, he thought as he sat back on his couch. The same couch where less than 5 minutes ago he was kissing the woman he loved. He should’ve stopped her. He should’ve said something. Asked her not to go on that stupid date with stupid Andrew. But he didn’t. He couldn’t. Because he was a coward.

Besides, if Y/n felt something for him, after that kiss she sure would’ve said something too. But she didn’t. She just got up and left to go on her date with another man, leaving Bucky behind with swollen lips and a broken heart.

It was less than three hours later that she finally came back. Bucky heard the keys jingle out in the hall and he knew she was back. She was probably coming back home with her date, he thought, but he was shocked to see her open his door and enter his apartment instead.

She seemed hesitant as she walked inside his place, finding Bucky slouched on the couch, a half finished bottle of whiskey in his hand.

“Bucky?” She called his name cautiously and he picked up his head to look at her. The same dress from before, except this time she was wearing a denim jacket over it too. He stared at her for a while, simply admiring her beauty, cursing himself for not being enough for her.

“Are you drunk?” The question left her lips without thinking. She knew he couldn’t get drunk, but when she saw him like that it was the first thing that came to mind.

“You know I can’t get drunk doll.” His reply was court and composed. “How did it go? Where’s your date?” He then asked her, despite the fact that he had no interest in knowing the answer to either of those questions.

She moved to sit on the couch next to him, the same spot he had stolen her breath away with one kiss a couple of hours ago, and she couldn’t think of nothing else except for that kiss. “It was okay.” She spoke mechanically, staring at his face. In her mind she was still kissing him.

“Did you kiss him?” Another question he didn’t want to know the answer of but he couldn’t help but ask it. Her only reply was a nod, but it was enough for Bucky to understand what she meant.

He slouched his head, dejected, broken, not wanting to be near her anymore. He had lost her.

“Yes, I kissed him.” She spoke a second later and Bucky wanted to tell her he understood that from her nod. “But I realized his weren’t the lips I wanted to kiss me, the lips I wanted to kiss.” She added a little breathlessly.

Bucky fixed his eyes on her, this time waiting with curiosity for her to continue. That she did. “I never wanted to go to that date after the most amazing kiss of my life, but I didn’t want to be rude to Andrew, so I thought I’d give him a chance, because he was a really nice guy.” She let out a small breath before she continued to speak again, Bucky patiently and curiously listening to her. “The entire time we were out I was still thinking about a certain set of lips that managed to set me on fire. And I thought to myself, it’s just because it was my first kiss. I’m sure if I kiss Andrew it will be even better, because I like Andrew. So I kissed him, but there was nothing. I was still searching for a different kiss in him. I was still asking to feel another man’s lips on mine.”

The bottle of alcohol he’d been holding in his hands, he placed it carefully on the coffee table before turning his body to the side to fully face her. “Doll, what are you saying?”

She let out a small sigh before answering, looking him dead in the eye. “I’m saying I don’t want to kiss anyone else beside you.” She confessed and it seemed that the world came to a stop.

He moved to get closer to her, this time both of his hands cupping her cheeks, inching their faces so close to each other once again. “Are you sure?” There was a slight tremble in his voice when he asked the question, but there was none in hers as she answered “Absolutely.” before locking her lips to his and kissing him like there was no tomorrow.

Their mouths continued the exploration and their hands found homes in each other’s bodies.

Bucky was so happy he could die. He kept kissing her like his life depended on it and between kisses he managed to speak. “Good, because I’m planning to kiss you for the rest of my life.”

[ruinsofxerxes]

Tagged ( ˘ ³˘)♥

by @liathgray thaaaaaankk yooooOOooouuu cece!!!!

1. name/nickname: Nikki!! The thing about ur name also being a popular nickname is that you don’t get any other nicknames :’( but tbh you can call me anything and I’ll probably respond

2. gender: just a little lady

3. star sign: Aries!!!! >:((( I found out last week I am Leo rising and I still don’t know what that means but I have an unnecessary pride in it regardless 

4. height: 5'2″.......i’ve got u beat cece

5. time: like midnight:30

6. birthday: THE HUNDRETH DAY OF THE YEAR SONNNNNN

7. favorite bands/groups: My favs have always always been Radical Face and Sleeping at Last!!! GOD can they put out one bad song??? I think NOT 

8. favorite solo artist: I’ve been a taylor swift freak since 2008 and y’all have to deal with it (also radical face and sleeping at last are both solo artists as well but you KNOW what i mean)

9. song stuck in my head: You are Gold by The National Parks because I referenced it in a tag in one of my last reblogs and I played myself because now it’s stuck in my head 

10. last movie: *sweats nervously* oh gosh....I’m not actually much of a movie person ah ahhhhh.. . .. ....OH WAIT. I caught half of The Outsiders on tv yesterday. One of my favorite books, terrible movie

11. last show: oh man....ok i’m a terrible tv show watcher too.....I think it was probably Bob’s Burgers, that’s about the only show I watch that’s actually on tv, I mostly just watch documentaries and listen to podcasts lol I’m currently rewatching fmab for the first time in [redacted] but haven’t watched in a week or two because I want to give it my UNDIVIDED ATTENTION and I am a busy bee

12. when did i create this blog: February of 2012. I had a stomach bug and was bored as hell at home for days lol

13. what do i post: fma and fma and more fma..... . .. . .....I used to post more than just that but hey, the heart wants what the heart wants. Every once in a while I’ll throw in another fandom or a cheeky little text post just to keep everyone on their toes 

14. last thing googled: "how to use a shampoo bar” because I got a shampoo bar from Lush and had no idea how to actually use it ashdkljasdljasdl

15. other blogs: basically just this one. I have/had an art blog but literally havent’ used it since like... . . . ......2016 rip

16. do i get asks: *stares into the camera like I’m on the office*

17. why did i choose this url: because back in 2013 I wanted people to think I was a cool popular fma blog so I wanted a canon url and well, I am neither cool nor popular but this url is a part of my identity now

18. following: 325 exactly!!!! 

19. followers: I think it’s around the 8900s last I checked but tbh I always forget to lol

20. average hours of sleep: 7-10 babey i love me some sleep

21. lucky number: idk if it’s my lucky number per se but my fav number is definitely 24!!!

22. instruments: I used to be able to play the trumpet, piano, and acoustic guitar but it’s been a long time since I’ve played!!!! :(( Would really love to pick up the guitar again, always my fav instrument!!!

23. what am i wearing: my pjs!!! (because what else is anyone wearing these days?????) i’m wearing a big ol’ baggy t-shirt (with a ton of paint stains on it because life of an artist) and some boxers

24. dream job: ooohhhh!!! I’m actually already doing my dream job! I’m a book illustrator, and that’s what I’ve wanted to be since I was about 5! I would LOVE to be an author someday too!!! I think that’s always been my DREAM dream! I love books idk if that’s obvious 

25. dream trip: OOOH MANNNN. AT THIS POINT: ANYWHERE. I LOVE TO TRAVEL AND THIS QUARANTINE HAS GOT ME ITCHING TO GO ANYWHERE. Once it’s safe, y’all never gonna see me again, I’m just gonna be a vagabond traveling the world lol But actually, I would love to go to Japan, Italy, Amsterdam, and travel Route 66!! (not all of these at the same time lol) 

26. favorite food: ooohhhhhh ok idk if this counts but I have a major sweet tooth and I’m such a chocoholic, like...anything with chocolate....I love it. But in terms of food-food, I guess probably fish and chips??

27. nationality: i’m from america pls let me out :’(

28. favorite song: oh gosh! Idk if I could choose just one! I’d say Bible Belt by Dry the River has been my favorite for the past few years. But some of my favs over the years have also been Severus and Stone by Radical Face, Get Up by Barcelona, Poison Oak by Bright Eyes, and Blood by The Middle East (if you listen to all of these you will realize the pattern is that I love really sad songs) 

29. last book read: man I read like five books last week I don’t even know where to begin lol

30. three fictional universes you’d like to live in: oooohhh definitely Avatar!!! I’d say fma but only if it’s post-promised day lol and probably Spirited Away!!!

[omnivorousshipper]

#32 Pregnacy fic & #63 mistaken for a couple, Shobbs

Friend. You have made my day 😍

So, this one took some thinking, but I absolutely love mpreg, so I hope y’all don’t mind. Also, I’m throwing in another Au. ABO

Deckard is an omega, still living in London and has yet to find the right partner. He’s tried finding someone, but with no luck. But the thing is, he desperately wants a family. He loves kids and has been waiting to have his own some day (and so has his family lol)

So, he decides he’s sick and tired of waiting and that he wants a kid now. He can support them fully, so he goes to the doctor’s. Now, a few months later, he kinda wishes he had a partner to rub his sore feet, but all’s going well, until one day

Luke’s in London with Sam, having promised her a vacation. But they’re both strangers to the city, and they get separated. Luke, the very overprotective alpha, freaks out and starts desperately looking for his daughter.

Meanwhile, Sam doesn’t know what to do. She doesn’t see any police people anywhere to ask for help. She’s passing by a cafe, looking for anyone to help her when she spots a pregnant omega. He looks friendly enough, not like all the other people on the street who brush by her, ignoring her

Deckard’s enjoying a cup of tea outside at a cafe when a young girl comes up to him, asking for help. And he’s instantly in parent mode. He’s asking if she’s alright, how can he contact her parents, and offers to buy her something to eat.

And Sam’s smiling like crazy, overjoyed to talk to Deckard and that he’s already calling her dad and flagging down a waiter to order her a hot chocolate.

“And what would your daughter like, sir?” The waiter asks, making Deckard splutter, before sighing because yeah, a pregnant omega with a child isn’t an odd sight and anyone would assume.

Deckard and Sam wait for Luke to find them, with Sam asking a bunch of questions and telling Deckard all about her life in America.

When Luke finally arrives at the cafe, he can see Sam talking a mile a minute, a huge smile on her face. While the guy she’s talking to, Deckard, is smiling back at her, just enthusiastic to listen

Sam almost squeals in excitement when she sees her dad, frantically trying to introduce Luke to Deckard. And Luke blinks in surprise at the cute omega in front of him. And then tries to curve his flirting when he sees the guy’s pregnant.

But Deckard immediately squashes that, flirting back just as much. And when the waiter comes back, asking if everything’s ok.

“And how’s the happy family?” He asks, smiling at them

And both Luke and Deckard are making surprised noises. But, they share a look that’s full of potential. And it doesn’t help that Sam’s going along with the idea, talking up both of her “dads”

Thanks friend! I loved doing this one!

[segenassefa]

3. A Semi-Original List of Things To Do During Quarantine

Niggas all over the timelines are baking banana bread, doing headstands, and making Tik Toks. Yeah it was fun the first few weeks – but now we’re almost four months deep into quarantine and the gworls need some change! A bit of variety. Some pizazz, if you will.

Well, fear not!

I am here to help (as per usual). Digging into the depths of my chicken breast-like brain has been hard, but I’ve done it to compile a list of things to try now that quarantine is dragging along. Some of these you’ve definitely heard before (but they were so good, it was worth mentioning again), some of these you may have considered but never really saw the value in, and some of these seem like I pulled them out of my ass, but I promise, they’re a fun time and definitely worth the try.

Take up a new workout routine now that gyms will probably cease to exist.

I can’t even speak on this one (my record this quarantine has been four days without leaving my bed), but health comes in different forms. Even back in the early stages, one of my favourite things to do was get a coffee and aimlessly walk around downtown – it got me out of the house, it didn’t feel like exercise, and was an excuse to take advantage of the warm weather. Exercise is both important for physical as well as mental health, as cited by a million and one studies, and can break up the monotonous cycles of online shopping, self-loathing, and eating that everyone seems to be trapped in these days. Your options, however, go beyond yoga and walking. Buy some weights or use one of the jars of canned tomatoes you have sitting your pantry (…) and do a weight routine. Go for a run. Climb some stairs. Bring back step aerobics like the bad bitches from the 80s. Ride a bike (Queen’s Quay is really nice, and pretty empty on the weekdays). The other benefit to establishing a good routine now is that you can carry it out through the winter. Maybe not the bike riding part, but you get my point.

Socialize (safely).

           I never understood the obsession with patios until I went to El Jefe a few weeks ago, and it got me thinking about how fun that actually must be when everyone isn’t terrified of getting a virus from the person eating chips and guac two tables over. But! There are alternatives! I know you don’t believe me but there are! Toronto has more parks and green spaces than you’d think, and now is the perfect time to take advantage of them. Connect with nature, friends, and socializing in an environmentally friendly space (throw those White Claw cans in the trash, please) and you and your friends will literally be the peak of ecofeminism. If you’re tired of wearing your crop tops and lashes to the grocery store, picnics and beach days also give you a reason to look cute in public again (and with a mask, you don’t even have to put foundation on the bottom half of your face. #win). Some of my favourite places include Trinity-Bellwood Park and Woodbine Beach. If you have a car (or a lot of patience) Scarborough Bluffs is also definitely worth the commute. I think it’s a game changer that “going out” now means sitting in the grass making small talk, instead of getting hammered in some dark, damp club, but maybe it’s also improvement.

Clear out the clutter that you always tell yourself you’re too busy for.

           I know you see it, bitch. That box of clothes overflowing in the back of your closets. Or the basket of random hair ties, scraps of paper, and pen caps on your shelf. What about when you open social media – Instagram, Twitter, Snapchat, whatever – a see all these random people on your feed that you don’t remember following, much less ever meeting in real life. Quarantine has forced us to retreat to our own spaces, physically, mentally and emotionally, and now more than ever is the best time to reflect and take inventory of what brings you joy and (God forbid we’re in this situation again) what you’d be ok with surrounding yourself with 24/7. It may be hard – times of crisis especially encourage a scarcity mindset instead of an abundance one – but it doesn’t hurt to try and reframe your thinking!

The 3 Restaurant Rule

If you’re anything like me, then you love Uber Eats. Since this virus has stripped the joy of going out to eat from my small and soft hands, we’ve had to find ways to work around this. One of these compromises has been Uber Eats. But that, much like anything else in life, can soon get repetitive (and niggas were clowning me for actually enjoying Swiss Chalet. Fuck y’all.) So, I established some ground rules, one of which being the three-restaurant rule. Do I follow it all the time? No. But knowing that it exists had made trying new foods more like a game. Here’s what you do:

1.     First, pick a type of cuisine (I’m partial to sushi, so we’re going to use that for this example).

2.     Next, really study Uber Eats. Find the best restaurants in your area specializing in that kind of food and pick three restaurants that look the best to you. Another alternative (especially if you’re lucky enough to live downtown where a majority of restaurants are doing take out) would be to curate a list of places on Yelp! I loved doing this when outside was open – it made eating out feel a bit more purposeful, almost like it was for research).

3.     Then, keep a lil list – on your phone, on paper, in your camera roll - wherever. When you’re not in the mood to cook, consult the list, and don’t pick a restaurant twice in a row. Start building up a list of places that you can say you’ve tried. Keep tabs on how you felt about the food to compare it to in-person dining when restaurants re-open, or make it an event with friends. Dress up, get together, crack a bottle of wine (or some beers, or sake, ya know – whatever floats your boat) and make it an event.

The other upside to this is now when people ask me for recommendations, I can give them with confidence instead of bullshitting like I would have before (sorry y’all LOL).

Learn how to do your own personal upkeep.

           It would probably take me ten hands and feet to count the number of videos I’ve seen of nail salons throwing customers out for being black or on the prejudice of race and/or class, or the number of hair salons and stylists who charge extra fees for thickness, length (or lack thereof), or for specific styles and modifications, etc. If you knew me, you know I was devoted to my nail salon. I loved the feeling of getting a full set of acrylics, having all the work done for me, the little burn on my cuticles when they’d slide my hands under the UV light. But in quarantine, a lot of things happened – nail salons closed, I became unemployed, and suddenly, $60 manicures every two weeks were not realistic. YouTube has so many videos on how to do basic self-care - things like cutting or dyeing or braiding your own hair, doing your own nails (whether it be acrylic, gel, even a basic polish manicure), doing your own eyebrows – the possibilities are all there. And, if you get good enough – you can always go ahead and make it your own side hustle (with salons operating at half capacity, the demand for people that do house calls is rapidly increasing). I’ve recently swapped my acrylics for press on nails and let me tell you – game changer. They last just as long, look just as good, and allow me the freedom of talon-like nails without having my bank account scream at me (a post on how I do my faux-acrylics at home coming soon!)

Try to watch something that isn’t reality television.

I know 90 Day Fiancee is that GIRL. And if you’re like me, you tend to get very sucked into YouTuber mukbang drama as well (if anyone wants to discuss Nikocado Avocado with me, I am more than willing). But after a while, it gets kind of repetitive, and there’s no harm in educating yourself on other topics. Netflix, Amazon Prime Video, Hulu, even YouTube all have so many documentaries on a variety of topics – from crime, to health, to cults – there’s literally something for everyone. Plus, there’s something really self-satisfying about learning something on your own. If you need a place to start, my personal favourite is Bikram (Netflix) and any of the Vice documentaries on YouTube, but there are so many, so browse around and find one that suits your personal taste.

           There are also many documentaries on environmentalism and the Black existence/experience/life in America and globally. Considering all the things that are going on right now, it would be wise to educate oneself, especially when the tools for doing so are a few clicks away. My personal favourites are 13 and Who Shot the Sherriff, but there’s so many that you don’t have an excuse not to at least learn SOMETHING.

Severe ties and blame it on the pandemic.

This one is pretty self-explanatory. Maybe there’s the persistent wanna-be friend who you tried to avoid in your Thursday 11-1 lecture and would incessantly text you for notes. Or the creepy guy who would always be in your study spot in Deerfield and message you after with the dumbass eye emojis. Maybe it’s that one friend you used to call to console you of your issues, but by the end of the chat you felt more unnerved than understood. Whomever it is, don’t be afraid to stray away a bit and use the excuse of social distance or “getting your head together” to gradually give yourself some space and make things a bit obvious without having to be a total asshole. It can help, tbh, and the last thing you need in a time like this is to feel guilty for someone else’s feelings.

Be ok with doing nothing.

Life is always on some go,go,go shit. With people posting all those fucking memes about hustling or whatever, it can be easy to feel like you’re sitting in quarantine wasting your life away because you haven’t joined Forex, or OnlyFans, or started three side businesses, or taught yourself a new language or whatever. But listen – look at quarantine like a break. You had a nice long break to re-cooperate and self-indulge a lil bit and you know what? That’s ok! You’re not less of a person because you chose to rest or hang out in bed more than you should have. Don’t let other people’s progress (or lack thereof) be a measure of your own. How can you expect to bounce back after a GLOBAL PANDEMIC if you spent the entire time beating yourself up for not living up to other people’s idea of success? …Exactly. This list is just for fun and personal growth, but realistically, quarantine is for doing whatever the fuck you want (safely and sanely, of course), but literally look at this time off as God, Allah, Buddha, whomever, pumping the brakes on what is a normally hectic life. Slow down, enjoy the small things (ALL the small things), and allow yourself to be what you are – a human being, not a fucking machine.

[ogcassiopeia]

M+M Answers Kpop Questions

1.     Which group have you thought about stanning, but never seem to get around to it? 

I’ve essentially only ever stanned TVXQ and never deviated from that but I could totally see myself stanning Shinee or Monsta X.

2.     Do you have any irl friends that like kpop?

It depends on what you mean by irl. As of right now, I only have one irl friend, who lives in Canada, that enjoys kpop as much as I do. We met back in the early 2000s when both her and I were massively into TVXQ. She moved on to stanning BTS after TVXQ broke up but she still loves TVXQ and we talk about kpop and other life happenings often. The kpop friend I had here physically in my town with me eventually moved to a different city and we lost contact a few years ago. I am not even sure if she still enjoys kpop or not.

3.     How old were you when you first got into kpop?

Oh gosh…I think I was 13 at the time.

4.     What song(s) took you a while to warm up to? 

A lot of f(x)’s earlier stuff like Nu Abo and Chu as at the time when they came out I found them to be grating and irritating. Most girl group songs take me a while to get into since I am more of a boy group kind of kpop fan.

5.     Have you ever disliked a group/idol? If so, why? (You don’t have to say who it is if you’re scared of getting hate).  

I wouldn’t say I dislike or hate a lot of kpop singers/groups but I would say I am either just not a fan of their personalities and/or their work. For girl groups, I especially am not a fan of BlackPink, Red Velvet or Girls Generation. I like one of two of their songs, but I find their voices irritating and feel like their talents are limited. I do feel this way about some boy bands too…but the one I do not care for is one that I may regret speaking ill of due to their fanbase.  

6.     What annoys you the most about kpop?   

As of right now, it would be the fans. There seems to be constant harassment of people, celebrities or other fans who have differing opinions.  Just let people like who they like and hate who they hate. What does it matter if they don’t agree with you? If you like the boy group/girl group/solo singer GREAT...leave it at that. You don’t need to harass or bully someone else into liking your faves.

7.     What do you love the most about kpop?  

The music. It brings diversity and color into my consumed media and it’s just generally enjoyable pop music fluff that I do not get from American media.

8.     Do you only listen to kpop? 

Nope. I listen to all kinds of music outside of kpop.

9.     Who are you favorite western artists (if you have any)?   

Paperwhite, The Band CAMINO, The 1975, Bad Suns, Lennon Stella, LEON, ASTR, Ralph, The Midnight

10.  How long have you been into kpop? 

Since 2003…so it’s been a while…17 years or so. (P.S. I am old and boring.)

11.  What music did you used to listen to before getting into kpop? 

Mostly American pop music, J-pop, J-rock and indie-pop.

12.  What fandom(s) were you in before getting into kpop? Are you still in them?

I was super into anime and manga back then…I was a part of the Sailor Moon fandom and I still love me some Sailor Moon. I also really loved the Backstreet Boys and still do…I am going to their concert in August (as long as it doesn’t get cancelled due to coronavirus)!

13.  Which group did you used to think was overrated but ended up loving?   

Shinee

14.  Is there a kpop song that annoys you? If so, which one?  

Uhm…there are a lot of them. Some of the songs I find annoying are: I’ve Got A Boy + Oh! + Kissing You – Girls Generation, I Don’t Know What To Do – BlackPink, Everyday – WINNER, Snapping – Chungha, Dog and Cat – TXT, Seventh Sense - NCT  (I am sorry to all of you who may love those songs)

15.  What aspects of kpop make you cringe/feel secondhand embarrassment?  

The Aegyo and overly cutesy, child-like concepts that girl groups always seem to have to participate in. Even though I know it comes from cultural differences in sexual attractiveness (I lived in Japan for years...I’ve seen it first hand), it still just creeps me out. I don’t like it in J-pop either, btw.

16.  Which concepts do you love?  

I LOVE dark, sexy, horror-like concepts that have been used by groups like VIXX and Dreamcatcher. I also love slick, retro themed songs based in the swing/jazz age (Something or Spellbound – TVXQ) or 80s nostalgia (I Feel You – The Wonder Girls).

17.  Which concepts do you hate?   

Anything overly aegyo or cutesy.

18.  If you could trade places with an idol, who would it be?  

I would totally love to be in Shim Changmin’s shoes….being part of an idol group considered gods in the kpop realm.

19.  What do you look for in a bias?  

(1) Intelligence, (2) Sassy/Funny, (3) Honest, (4) Hardworking, (5) Talented, (6) Humble

20.  Which kpop company do you hate the most?  

Cube or Pledis

21.  What are you opinions on shipping?

It’s fine as long as fans don’t push participation of it onto the idols they’re shipping.

22.  How did you get into kpop?  

I saw a Kpop Countdown show on cable TV back in 2003 where they showed BoA and TVXQ and I was hooked instantly.

23.  Has anyone ever made fun of you or looked at you weird for liking kpop?  

I mean, yes…1000x yes, I was made fun of for loving kpop all the time. Once again, I got into kpop in 2003 y’all….which was before the internet was easily accessible in my home so I felt like the only person in America who liked kpop at the time. Not even my closest friends were into it and they felt like I was just a massive weirdo for loving it as much as I did. Thankfully, I found a community online of international kpop enthusiasts like myself to talk to in around 2005 (since I finally was able to save up for a bulky ass laptop) and that helped me feel less alone and bullied.

24.  What is the cringiest thing you did when you were starting to get into kpop? 

By the time kpop came into my life, I was already a set up Weeaboo, so…really I just became a deeper version of that…I was like an embarrassing kaiju cultural appropriation combo of Weeaboo and Koreaboo. I would make my own tshirts for TVXQ and just wear them out and about. They were SO BADLY MADE because I had no idea what I was doing but I thought I was so smart and stylish at the time. I also made CDs of Jpop and Kpop for people around school to hand out at lunch...I cringe just thinking about it.

25.  How long does it take you to learn the names of each member in a group?

I’ve stopped learning members names nowadays LOL…I am too old for that shit and just don’t care enough anymore. (For past reference though, it took me about one week to remember all of TVXQ.)

26.  Are you a gg, bg, or middle/coed stan? 

Boy group stan

27.  If you could hang out with one idol, who would you hang out with? 

Shim Changmin of TVXQ….he’s my forever bias and I wanna hang out with his puppies and have a meal with him...ask him what he wants to do with the rest of his life once idol-dom is over.

28.  Who is the bias to your third favorite group? 

I guess that would be Monsta X so…uhm…it was Wonho but apparently, he isn’t in the group anymore…

29.  What name from your native language would you give your ult bias? 

What would I name Changmin in English? He already has a stage name that’s in English, which is Max. I am not sure what this question is asking LOL  (also, who the fuck still calls Changmin, Max? I thought we dropped that shit back in 2006.)

30.  Thought on fanfiction/AUs/etc?  

I think it is great and gets fans to think more creatively and figure out where their talents lay! I used to write a lot of JaeMin and HoMin fanfiction back in the day…now I write mostly Destiel (Dean and Castiel from Supernatural) fanfiction.

[nobodies-png]

If each member was a language, what language would they be and why?

I’m assuming you mean from the OrgXIII so here you go ! This was an interesting question lolol - I had to look up and read a lot of articles on wikipedia to make sure I didn’t end up saying bad or weird shit bUT IT WAS SUPER FUN 

Xemnas :

Greek, probably ? The language and culture that rivaled Latin and Rome throughout history and despite it’s age, it MANAGES to still be a living language (if you think I overthink too much about metaphors and shit just wait till you read the rest of answers). It also fits all Scala Ad Caelum’s aesthetic inspired by Greece and all the shenanigans with the Norts ! 

 Xigbar :

LEET Speak just to give every homestucker a heart attack. Maybe just surfer speak, if it counts.  Xigbar would fit Latin perfectly - it’s a dead language and the source of many other languages just like Xigbar is the fucking source of many things that go down in KH. Cryptic and old, like him ! And considering his ties with the KHux Foretellers and such, it makes sense for him to be Latin, right ? 

Xaldin :

I literally have no idea why but I think of Portuguese when I think of Xaldin. I havE LIKE NO ARGUMENTS OR EXPLANATIONS, IT’S JUST A THING (tm) SO YOU’RE FREE TO ADD TO THIS. Or give him a different language to be w h e e z e.

Vexen :

You know when old people try to be hip and come up with shit like How o You Do Fellow Kids / I’ll Krump With You Sweetie ? Yeah that’s him Okay but honestly, when I was a kid I really liked the idea of Vexen just screaming shit in Latin whenever his experiments went wrong. Now that i’m older, I like to imagine the same thing except now he speaks a Slavic language. I wouldn’t be able to tell you e x a c t l y which one, though. But I guess also a language from north Europe would work, like Finnish or Swedish - mostly because the countries remind me of cold weather lol

Lexaeus :

Nghhhh, I wanna say either ASL/Sign Language or Braille - but i’ll go with Braille ! Lexaeus is a quiet man of a few words, so I think it suits him just fine to be a language that doesn’t need to be spoken. And we know he’s tactful and gentle, considering he does a lot of puzzles in his free time, so Braille seems perfect for him ! While he might not actually need Braille, Lexaeus would be that kind of guy who just teaches others how to read and tries to normalize the use of Braille !

Zexion :

A lot of people might give me shit for not making Zexion Latin bUT LIKE LISTEN. THIS SMART BOY WOULD BE SOMETHING LIKE CHINESE/MANDARIN. Think about it, we’re talking about a super flexible language whose entonation can change the meaning of a sentence completely - yes, i’m talking about that one poem that only has ONE word and it still manages to be a fully fledged story. Like, i’m an artist, not a literary major but I still think that’s super smart and dope and i’ll gladly compare that to magic anytime. In retrospect, it matches Zexion’s illusion motif and complex character !

Saix :

Uhhhh, i’d say either Japanese or Russian. Cause both are languages with strong accents and pronunciations which suit Saix’s strong and firm character - and also because Russian reminds me of NASA and space for some reason and Japanese makes me think of that one tale about the rabbit on the moon. Also Japan puts a lot of emphasis in discipline, honor and loyalty too, traits that Saix shares.

Axel :

Axel is definitely Spanish. Not to be confused with the latino dialects from South America ! I’m talking Spain’s spanish ! And no, I didn’t choose this one because it’s an “exotic sexy firey language”, tRUST ME IT’S MY FIRST LANGUAGE AND IT’S ANYTHING BUT THAT - I chose spanish because it’s an abrasive and brash language. Most words (and the insults specially) give the feeling you’re about to spit on someone’s face and be a cocky disrespectful brat OR you’re just a super friendly and extroverted fella - it suits Axel’s previous ruthless mercenary personality with his current and contrasting kind, outgoing self. 50/50.

Demyx :

Okay hear me out, it’s been like 45 minutes since I went researching to write Demyx’s answer and I still don’t know if I have a proper one. I wanted to say a language from India, since it’s where his signature sitar originates from and what else can accompany a sitar better than the language of the place it was pretty much created in ? So researched Ravi Shankar, the Sitar Maestro and a super important figure in indian classical music. But I know barely nothing about that side of Asia, so i’m NOT exactly sure what language he spoke or used in his music ! Like I looked for his songs and they’re in Gujarati, but HMMMM, NOT SURE CHIEF. 

So if anyone feels like educating me on this subject, please go ahead. Otherwise I have to give Demyx the way us millennials talk and oH boy.

Luxord :

I’ll go with the obvious choice here : English. Like, back in the day, most people just HC’d Luxord as a britishman because of his mannerisms and etc etc - but like, it works for him ! He’s closely tied to Alice and Wonderland in both the game and the manga, as well as Pirates of the Caribbean like come on it’s rIGHT there. Also imo, british English just sounds like super polite and elegant, the way Luxord acts most of the time.

Marluxia :

Either German or the language of flowers. German because it’s That Type Of Language™ that seems to have a word for every specific thing, action and feeling no matter how obscure - which kinda seems to suit him somehow ? A language with a rough appearance, intimidating to most people due to the hard sounds but eloquent, deep and extensive ! The other option is pretty obvious, considering his power with nature and stuff - Marluxia is definitely the time to give bouquets and flowers as gifts with double edged meanings and intentions. 

Larxene :

The only one that comes to mind is French. Just cause I think Larxene reads french literature in the 358Days manga - but like, dark and smart stuff only Intellectuals™ can understand. And also because it’s a tricky language to speak properly (LISTEN I TOOK 5 YEARS OF FRENCH AND I STILL DIE WITH ALL THE VOWELS). There’s just something about the way it’s spoken that screams her name. It’s fast paced, coquettish, sounds mature, there’s a lot of sharp sounds. Y’know !

Roxas :

Not specifically a language, but Roxas reminds me of the mix every bilingual person speaks sometime when they can’t remember a specific way of saying or explaining something. Or when your group of friends is mostly bilingual too and y’all just mix both languages and it’s a fucking mess for outsiders ? ( Like “Me cago en la fucking madre que te parió” o “I swear to god pOR QUE ERES ASI” are examples from the groupchat I am, wheeze). So probably Spanish and English ! 

Xion :

I’m torN AGAIN between ASL/Sign Language and Braille. But I think i’ll go with sign language ! Not to get Deep and Philosophical, but Sign Language seems to fit Xion, someone whose voice was silenced by those around her. We know she’s timid and quiet, but she’s also young and energetic, quick and witty around her friends - so unlike Lexaeus who’d calmly read using Braille, Xion is the type who’d sign at the speed of sound when excited or panicking and she’d enjoy sending secret messages to her friends. 

[cosmicpopcorn]

Captain Marvel (2019): Feminism, Diversity, and the 90s, oh my!

Warning: Spoilers, possibly. I always like to warn a nigga just in case.

Note to Readers: Yes, Cosmic Popcorn is back up and running! Last year, I went on an impromptu hiatus due to life being...well, life. Now I’m back and determined to pick back up where I left off on my journey of providing informal movie and TV reviews and discussions on astrology and all things cosmic. 

Without further ado, let’s get into Captain Marvel. 

If ya’ll remember the post credits scene from Avengers: Infinity War, Nick Fury sends one last message to someone, somewhere on an old ass looking communication device right before he turns to dust...and we see a star-shaped logo confirming that his message has been sent. 

He was sending that message off to good ol’ Captain Marvel aka Carol Danvers. Captain Marvel has a very diverse, interesting history in the comics...in fact, Carol Danvers is the 7th Captain Marvel in the comics. To read more about that dope history, check out this article here: The Weird and Diverse Comic Book History of Captain Marvel. 

Now, the movies in the Marvel Cinematic Universe (MCU) do divert from the comics in a lot of ways. So MCU Carol Danvers is a former air force officer who was under the mentorship of physicist Dr. Wendy Lawson, who was actually a Kree scientist who disagreed with the Kree’s war with the Skrulls and had fled to Earth. Dr. Wendy Lawson (her alias) aka Mar-Vell (her real name) was using the Tesseract (Space Stone) to create an engine that would have helped the Skrulls to live beyond the reach of the Kree empire and she had enlisted Danvers’ help in this mission. But they are discovered by Yon-Rogg, a Kree commander who is the leader of Starforce (a Kree military task-force). During the fight between Mar-Vell and Yon-Rogg, Carol shoots the engine in an attempt to prevent Yon-Rogg from getting it and it explodes in her face, causing her to absorb the Tesseract’s energy/powers, thus making her Captain Marvel. Her memories of who she is and her life on Earth are mostly altered/erased and she becomes one of the members of the Starforce, under Yon-Rogg’s direction and mentorship. 

The movie was directed by Anna Boden and Ryan Fleck. Carol Danvers/Captain Marvel is played by actress Brie Larson. I first remember seeing her in United States of Tara and really enjoying watching her character on screen. She has also played in Scott Pilgrim vs. The World, Community, and Room (which she won an Oscar for Best Performance by an Actress in a Leading Role). Obviously, she’s been in a ton of other shit, won a bunch of awards and been nominated for others but I am not about to lay this woman’s resume out for y’all - just know she’s been here for awhile and she’s accomplished. Lol.

Nick Fury is obviously played by the wonderful Samuel L. Jackson, and y’all should damn well know who he is. He’s one of our national treasures in my opinion, right along with Terry Crews. Not to mention he’s already been present in the other MCU movies. He’s the character with the second most screen time in the movie outside of the obvious Captain Marvel. 

Other actors worth mentioning: Talos/Keller is played by Ben Mendelsohn, Jude Law is Yon-Rogg, Annette Bening is Dr. Wendy Lawson, and we have Lashana Lynch as Maria Rambeau, with Akira Akbar as her daughter Monica Rambeau. The cast overall is very diverse - comprised of people of color and women in starring roles. And based on what I’ve personally read on Captain Marvel’s comic book history, this is the essence of her story - breaking through barriers and giving power to a range of different people who may not have had it before, who were not usually represented in certain roles and positions of power.

I’ll be honest, it’s difficult for me to review and critique Marvel movies because the quality of their movies these days is usually pretty high...even the mediocre or bad ones are significantly better than other mediocre/bad non-superhero movies. I go into these movies with a bias towards them and it’s hard for me to see flaws unless they’re extremely obvious and detract from the overall quality of the movie in a major way. I will always try to be honest about a movie...but how I feel is how I feel and I feel Marvel movies are usually pretty great. So when it comes to these movies, I’ll present my thoughts on various aspects of them instead of the usual pros vs. cons approach unless it calls for it. 

I basically really liked and enjoyed Captain Marvel. I don’t regret the experience at all and feel it’s worth the movie ticket. Here are some thoughts on the movie: 

Brie Larson was a good choice for Captain Marvel: I’ve heard people complain about the decision for Brie Larson to play Carol Danvers aka Captain Marvel, with some of the main reasons for their complaints being that she appeared to be too stoic, didn’t smile or laugh enough and that her portrayal of Captain Marvel was bland. I felt that she expressed the appropriate amount of emotion for the character and for the scenes she had. We must also keep in mind that Carol Danvers was an air force officer on Earth, a member of Starforce on Hala while being with the Kree, and also had been taught to not be emotional and that her emotionality was a weakness. So...why the fuck would she be super emotional and expressional?! I’m not sure what was expected - did they want lots of crying and giggles? We don’t ask for Captain America, Iron Man or the Hulk to be more emotional or smile more and this specific critique reeks of sexist undertones to me.

Captain Marvel was portrayed well in this origin movie and Brie Larson did a fine job. Yes, I am saying this as someone who did not grow up reading the comics. We are discussing the MCU Captain Marvel, not the comics. And we already know that when converting books or comics to movies, shit gets changed. They have the same source, but they are still different.

As a 90s baby, I enjoyed the blast from the past: This origin movie is set in 1995 and has things like pay phones, Blockbuster, slow ass internet, internet cafes and the music, oh my, the music. I loved it all. I don’t miss any of that, except maybe the music, but it’s nice to wax nostalgic sometimes. 

Nick Fury and Captain Marvel are cute AF: I loved watching Samuel L. Jackson and Brie Larson on screen as Fury and Marvel. They had just the right amount of chemistry and played off of each other very well. I know Fury has gone to dust, but maybe we’ll get to see a nice, cute reunion in Endgame? One can only hope. 

They did well at helping Samuel L. Jackson go back in time as Fury: I was pleasantly surprised how good Sam looked as young Fury - usually aging actors and actresses, whether younger or older is something that has a high possibility of not being done well and they did a fantastic job here. My man looked good!

I loved that Nick Fury got a lot of screen time: We got to learn a lot more about the character, his past, and really see his personality shine here. We also learned about how he lost his eye. Once again, I really do hope to see more of Fury in Endgame. And with Fury and his eye in mind, shoutout to Goose the cat, that’s my nigga. 

Captain Marvel doesn’t have a strong villain and it doesn’t need it: One of the complaints about the movie was the lack of a strong villain like Killmonger or Thanos. However, with this being an origin movie, I see it being more focused on how Captain Marvel comes to being and how she becomes a hero, any villain present is only there to showcase her powers and as a plot device. That’s not how it is in all origin movies - Black Panther had a very strong, well-developed villain, but here, it appears the villain almost takes a backseat to other aspects of the movie. Her “villains” are more of society’s sexism, her own self-doubt, identity struggles, and her rejection of the emotional parts of herself. The people around her either enforce, support and/or represent those “villains” (e.g. Yon-Rogg) or push her to break against those barriers and embrace her power (e.g. Nick Fury). 

Captain Marvel has a diverse cast and clearly wants to empower young women and girls: I loved the fact that our main character was a woman, her main supporting character was a black man, and the other important supporting characters were a black woman and a beautiful black girl. Yes, there were white men and other white people all around, lol, but a good amount of the ones with a lot of screen time were not. The movie also rejected sexist ideas such as: emotionality and being emotionally expressive being a negative trait, women having to smile for men and always appear pleasant or pretty, women not being capable of being in traditionally male-dominated fields and not being capable participating in male-dominated or traditionally male activities. It says a giant FUCK YOU to all these things. It also hints towards Marvel’s first African-American female superhero, Photon. 

Brie Larson was right in her Crystal Award for Excellence in Film acceptance speech: In her speech, she presents statistics regarding movie critics - bringing to light that a large, overwhelming amount of movie critics were older, white men and that white women, women of color and men of color are largely unrepresented when it comes to movie critiques. She explains the importance of reviews and the impact it has on what movies can be bought and seen, how much money a movie grosses and what movies are nominated for awards. Overall, she encourages more inclusivity and for critiques of movies to be done by a more diverse group of people - a group that includes more white women, women of color and men of color, especially since some movies are, let’s face, simply not made for white men or with white men in mind. Not mention, as she said, people other than older white men also like Star Wars. You can hear that speech here.

She ain’t say anything wrong and anyone who has a problem with this speech obviously has some unaddressed sexism they need to tend to. Because, I mean...are you saying only older white men like these types of movies? Are we saying their opinions on media are the most important? Do we not want to hear from white women, women of color and men of color...since we are, you know, also part of this world and consume this media? And considering the diversity present in Marvel comics and films, considering the messages about sexism, racism, feminism, etc. that are present in the stories of heroes like Black Panther and Captain Marvel...are you really trying to tell me these were only made for and primarily focused only on older white men? Get the fuck outta here. I don’t care what a 40-year-old white dude has to say about what he doesn’t like about A Wrinkle in Time either. 

All in all, I enjoyed this movie and it got me hype of Avengers: Endgame. Instinctually and based on conversations with others and hearing about flaws they felt were present such as pacing issues, actress choice, etc., I feel these flaws were mostly based on opinion (opinions that I don’t agree with) and in my opinion either are subtle (such as pacing issues) and/or simply don’t exist (such as actress choice being a problem). However, this isn’t Black Panther and while it doesn’t really have any cons (major or minor) that come to mind, it does lack the aspects of Black Panther that earned it a 5 Caramel Popcorn Pieces rating. With that in mind, I give it 5 Butter Popcorn Pieces. 

Rating: 5 Butter Popcorn Pieces

[redscullyrevival]

N(ot)stalgia: DISCO 2.0

Something I’ve not personally seen anyone talk about with Star Trek Discovery, although I’ve no doubt many are, is the role nostalgia plays in the series. 

Sometimes at war, sometimes a crutch, sometimes reflective but mostly deconstructive; nostalgia is near constantly present within DISCO’s production. Present within the media as it is created and relayed to its audience as well as present within large portions of the audience themselves, from within their own expectations and beliefs on what Star Trek “is” (and perhaps most vocally on what the franchise “is not”). Star Trek Discovery is not all that concerned with restorative nostalgia, the series does not excessively lean on invoking comforting throw-back feelings with the intent of recreating the franchise's past tone. And then there’s season 2 episode 8 “If Memory Serves”. 

OH BOY. Oh wow. Okay.

“If Memory Serves” is a double down boot stomp of an episode that I’m sure has been turning heads for its use of interweaving, updating, and altering the classic two parter “The Menagerie” (and thus the un-aired-but-widely-known pilot episode “The Cage”) and I’m positive some misguided individual is out there referring to all this as a “reference” and yes I kind of want to die a little knowing that’s happening but I’ll struggle through. Sigh.

The first season of DISCO dug deep and did some drastic nostalgia tweaking and even (dare I say) went so far as to weaponize nostalgia and all the expectations audiences brought with them about what Star Trek “was” and “means” and “does” as a pop culture storytelling institution.  

It was a long-term re-haul of many, many aspects of the Star Trek TV franchise and it made many, many people very uncomfortable. Not me, I friggin’ dug it, but I am admittedly a contrary asshole. 

Blahblah lots of folks right now are probably thinking about Captain Lorca and for good reason - so lets look at Lorca and how he was used to snap the audience’s nostalgic Trek lens. Spoliers ahead.

Captain Lorca (played by Jason Isaacs) was revealed to be from the Mirror Universe, as in the slap-on-a-beard-and-be-mean-universe. If you know Star Trek you know the Mirror Universe.

But in the beginning, we all sat around ho-humming over Lorca’s motivations and choices. Over what we wanted to believe about him. The viewership was VERY busy interpreting Lorca and working the character into our own individual understandings on what we know and want from a Star Trek television show.

As it happens Captain Lorca is one of the most Trekkie characters ever by default of his universal origins while simultaneously being an approach to the evils of the Mirror Universe (AKA What We Don’t Want Humanity To Be™) as we’ve never seen it before.

Hating other races and being aggressive and enjoying war and breeding a society hostile towards ideas of equality, justice, cooperation, and peace are pretty straight forward no-nos. Turns out though, and this is the real kicker, that the initial unease Lorca brought onto Discovery wasn’t just (entirely) the writers getting through their sea legs but a nice long con: 

The evils of the Mirror Universe have now been expanded to psychological and emotional abuse with sexual predatory behavior and unsustainable environmental practices thrown in for good measure. Which was a much-needed update my friends.

And I say “update” but in a lot of ways it’s an insertion. A clarification. Or, as I first sated, an expansion. We could look at DISCO as re-writing Star Trek lore because that’s, ya know, what it is doing - but we can also more specifically look at DISCO as a project in nostalgic alteration.

Hey, guess what?! Spock’s sister has always been a black woman.

From our outward understanding yes, we know Michael Burnham is a ~new~ character in a ~new~ Star Trek show. None of us are confused on how any of this story telling is working. These are new stories. 

The function of these stories though? I can’t help but think the audience is pretty torn up on that front.

Something inherent in experiencing Star Trek Discovery is how the show’s narrative future hails from our actual historical past. The utopia of the original series is dated and stale and disingenuous without a nostalgic/contextual lens firmly set in place. The function of many Star Trek Discovery stories is that of a much-needed blood transfusion: Bringing new life to old withered limbs.

Does this mean that Star Trek Discovery is seeking to recontextualize Star Trek? Yes and no but mostly no in my opinion. LOL, sorry, but it’s complicated! As most nostalgia driven works are.

Nostalgic Cinema is a real subset of critical film studies and has only grown in recent years but nostalgia isn’t anything new to media or the human experience. The general consensus is that nostalgic media tries to visually replicate time periods in human history (or the markers of media from a particular time period, what Marc Le Sueur dubbed “deliberate archaism”), but primarily acts as a bridge to idolized youthful emotionality and/or simplified “truths”. 

Marc Le Sueur’s “Theory Number Five: Anatomy of Nostalgic Films: Heritage and Method” was published in 1977 and was one of the first major academic and critical looks into the role nostalgia plays in cinema and by extension our connection to and perception of art. In the 1990s Svetlana Boym and Fredric Jameson further pushed ideas of nostalgia in literature and late capitalism respectably (which of course made its way onto visual media).

Le Sueur and Boym saw nostalgia as two classifiable categories, restorative or reflective. Restorative nostalgia attempts to recapture and revitalize an imagined past while reflective nostalgia is marked by a wistful longing for what has been lost to time.

In “The Future of Nostalgia” Svetlana Boym wrote “Nostalgia inevitably reappears as a defense mechanism in a time of accelerated rhythms of life and historical upheavals.” She goes on to suggest that our attraction to nostalgia (either restorative or reflective) is often times less about actually trying to reclaim a vanished past but rather a conscious resistance to an unknown and potentially threatening future.

The bulk of nostalgic media can easily be seen to tie into Boym’s observations; most media isn’t concerned with or about the personal and effective uses of nostalgia as a lived experience/real feeling among individuals but instead more focused on a particularly stylized, sanitized, and simplified view of history. Nostalgia in media is typically a presentation on the present day's romanticized fantasy of the past, void of contradictions and unsolvable uncertainties of the focused time period's lived reality, so as to soften or even avoid the creator’s and audience’s confusing present and unknown future.

In 2005 film critic and historian Pam Cook explored nostalgia in her book “Screening the Past: Memory and Nostalgia in Cinema” which collected seventeen of her short essays from 1976 to 1999 that focus on memory, identity, and nostalgia not only within their subject matter but within Cook’s viewpoint of revisiting her own body of work. Early on Cook laid out a more optimistic outlook on nostalgia in media:

“Rather than being seen as a reactionary, regressive condition imbued with sentimentality, it can be perceived as a way of coming to terms with the past, as enabling it to be exorcised in order that society, and individuals, can move on. In other words, while not necessarily progressive in itself, nostalgia can form part of a transition to progress and modernity. The suspension of disbelief is central to this transition, as nostalgia is predicated on a dialect between longing for something idealized that has been lost, and an acknowledgement that this idealized something can never be retrieved in actuality, and can only be accessed through images.”

The Star Trek of 1966 didn’t air in a peaceful time free from social and political turmoil. In fact, the original series itself was a kind of attempt at Future Nostalgia: A projected desire for what humanity could be if we survive and make changes to the then-contemporary world the show was directly commenting on. 

Star Trek’s original series today, as media that has survived and gained weight within the American pop cultural landscape, certainly feels warm, inviting, and reflective of an America long gone and shattered - and that’s because, now, it is. 

Time moves forward and warps and bends our media and our experiences to media and the most warped and most bendy of all are those storytelling institutions that outlive and outlast the era and people who first created and first experienced it. 

Recreating Star Trek visually, tonally, and thematically would be straight nostalgic vampirism and is obviously not what DISCO is doing. But that doesn’t mean Star Trek Discovery is not not a nostalgic piece even though it looks, feels, and is thematically different than the 1966 original show.

Real quick, let’s get back to this week’s episode, “If Memory Serves”!

... Honestly though, do I need to connect these dots? We all get it right? We’re all on board with this entire thing from the name of the episode, to its direct use and alterations of the original series, and then the not-so-subtle reveal that the season’s big plot point, the Red Angel, is a time traveler re-writing history. Like. We get it, right?

This is where Discovery has yet again doubled down on its storytelling functionality; this is Spock y’all. This is Pike. This is for real happening. Michael has helped shape the Spock character we will see later on in the “future” (our collective past).

And while we’re here, check out Mr. Spock! The Spock of Discovery is not dripping with nostalgic slime, he’s sharp and clean to an almost shocking degree. The series makes little effort in acting as though we should have a pre-determined fondness for the character outside of his relationship to Michael. Which is absolutely NUTS. But in a good way, in my opinion! 

The search for Spock (lawl) within Discovery has been on a surface level the literal search for the character within the narrative space of this new series. They gotta find that dude.

The search for Spock within Discovery has also been a form of re-defining the character not through audience expectation of What They Know and Remember but What They Don’t Know and Have No Basis For.

And the series accomplished it within the framework of places, characters, and events that are old, new, the same, and different all at once. I believe that’s a lot of intentional wibbly wobbly timey wimey paratextual stuff taking precedence for the sake of promoting a new view on Star Trek’s (and our own) past, primarily for the sake of moving beyond it. 

I don’t think it’s just ‘haha, reference!’ that the first shots we see of Vina (an original series character) in Star Trek Discovery’s “If Memory Serves” is that of her high heeled glass slippers. It’s jarring and weird and even laughable. Vina’s hair and makeup are also deliberate archaisms within the series the character is currently in, airing in the year it is. It reminded me of another nostalgia ridden TV series that would often implement a similar absurdist approach towards viewer nostalgia.

Mad Men had a lot of fun presenting a visually accurate but sterile version of the past not so as to suggest things were better in the 1960s but so that the series could better magnify (and even exasperate) American disillusionment.

One of my favorite examples of nostalgic absurdity in Mad Men is when Pete Campbell (Vincent Kartheiser) stands in a crowded office building jokingly pointing a gun at unflinching women.

What's the goal of having Pete do this? Is it to show we were... better then? We were more innocent? Is this deeply inappropriate "joke" suddenly OK because it's 1960, or is it even within context creepy, horrifying, and in incredible bad taste? Do we need the characters to recognize the absurdity of Pete's actions for us to validate them as absurd or are we being invited to make that evaluation ourselves in the here and now outside of the character's reality?

What Pete does is creepy and weird if the characters acknowledge it or not just as much as it is, admittedly, darkly humorous for the audience to witness at all.

But that's because it's not really a set up for comparing and contrasting how much we as a country have lost or gained in the wake of mass shootings but rather that of an audience being able to recognize a total D-bag, even through time.

Pete and his gun aren't a direct focus of the show's nostalgia but they are certainly a product of it and a bit of the point is that Pete gets away with doing what he does because it's a story, yeah, but PRIMARILY due to the audience assumption of "well, it was the 1960s". Its within that suspension of disbelief living at the core of all the many absurdist moments that make up Mad Men where the series bit by bit wedges in its most critical theme: Nostalgia is bullshit.

Through its intentional juxtaposition of accurately ‘recreating’ the past and high co-dependency on its contemporary audience’s views, Mad Men suggests that the best we can do as a society, as a country, is see the similarities between the past and now and decide what is worth keeping, progressing, or discarding entirely. The series delights in uncomfortably positioning the audience to view the weird ass shit it's characters do (littering, chain smoking, drinking and driving, slapping women's butts, letting children play with plastic bags over their heads to name a basic few), not so as to suggest that the past was "better" than today but so as to highlight the ways that we as a society have already deemed the past to be inefficient, ineffective, and cruel.

The series uses the same audience awareness principle to highlight the ways in which nostalgia cannot hide nor brighten our shortcomings and continued failures. There are just as many (if not more) moments in the series that are not presented as contrasting absurdity but comparative harrowing familiarity; those areas of our cultural makeup we have not adequately progressed or left behind.

Sure, in the 1960s everyone could smoke everywhere (very ew, look how far we’ve come) but women still had to internally balance if they could afford looking like a humorless bitch when confronting workplace sexual harassment (haha, whoops!). 

America’s past in Mad Men is terrifying and weird as well as frustratingly still present, as smoke soaked into our current attitudes and culture. What America’s past isn’t in Mad Men is purely seductive nostalgia for the sake of simplifying the present.

Le Sueur, Boym, and Cook all propagate that the cinematic image/use of nostalgia is that of double exposure, two images projected onto an audience’s perception and experience (1. contemporary recreation 2. of the past) - and that sure as hell makes up the building blocks of Discovery even though we’re all cognitively aware every aspect of the series is new and it takes place “in the future”. Discovery uses the franchise’s past as an adaptive functional mirror with which to compare and contrast our contemporary reality rather than merely repeating experiences and ideas reflective of a time long gone.

Vina’s shoes, her entire aesthetic down to her backstory aren’t just counter to the tone and aesthetic of Discovery but to the sensibilities of the contemporary audience; we are all very aware that Vina hasn’t literally been plucked out of 1966 and plopped into this new series. Again, none of us are confused on how any of this story telling is working. We’re aware these are new stories. But what is the function of Vina in this new story? What is the purpose of all the unease her presence brings into “If Memory Serves”?

Vina, way back in 1966, was written to choose a life of illusion among aliens siphoning her memories and emotions rather than accept and become a part of the present. The Keeper tells Pike, “She has an illusion and you have reality. May you find your way as pleasant” as they once again cover up Vina’s hunched back and scarred face with youthful and desirable 1960s beauty standards. As we all know Pike himself will go on later to choose this exact fate. He will succumb to the same choice.

“When dreams become more important than reality, you give up travel, building, creating," Vina tells us of the Talosians in “The Cage”, episode zero of Star Trek. “You even forget how to repair the machines left behind by your ancestors. You just sit living and reliving other lives left behind in the thought records.”

I’m having a serious and very real Look-Into-The-Camera-Moment here my friends. We’re all on board, yeah? Are the dots sufficiently and fully aligned? God I hope so. “If Memory Serves” is pulling a helluva fine “To Serve Man” word play pals:

If our memories perform our duties and live our lives for us, we become trapped. Discovery’s purpose for pulling in original series characters, and these characters in particular and all the narrative context sliding along in with them, is to suggest that we (and the franchise itself) need to move past our attachments to the original series and its rusty ideas and simplistic hopes for the future.  

Vina and Pike are already lost causes, we know this. We gain power in knowing this. The re-framing of these characters as being more tragic than romantic, with Discovery reflecting their longing as kinda creepy and disconnected with Vina more siren than innocent the series can push past the past and grab on to a new understanding of this classic episode’s elements and what it can mean for us watching Star Trek made in 2019.

A purely DISCO inversion of all this is poor Dr. Culber who has a complete lack of emotional connection to the past, who can remember moments and events but can’t make them give off any feelings of relevancy or incorporate them into who he is as a person. Culber is just as trapped as Vina and what Pike will (possibly?) become. The inch by inch nature of his recovery will depend on, as a pissed off Burnham tells the Talosians, if he can learn to “survive another way.” 

Yeah. That might be some thematic intent we’ve picked up on skip. We’re legit through the looking glass now huh? Up is down and down is up and nostalgia ain’t what it used to be! Hype.      

As such, in its own way, Discovery is fairly critical of Star Trek and by extension a bulk of its audience and their personal reasons and motivations for tuning in. It makes a lot of sense that Lorca and “If Memory Serves” among many other production choices and aspects chafe some viewers. 

I’m of the opinion that the shiny pristine nostalgic pedestal sculpture that is STAR TREK should be filed and chipped and shaved and grated here and there just as much as more contemporary substance should be added and stuffed back into it. 

What’s the goddamn point of any of this if not to further progress the bar of reflecting and projecting the human experience onto a future better than that one envisioned in 1966? In 1987? In 1993? And, at the end of the day, isn’t THAT more authentically “Star Trek” than simply an episodic narrative structure, glitter effect transporters, and a captain’s log? 

[lasaetarubia]

6 - 22 - 100 - 133

6. What kind of people are you attracted to?

Kind people, funny people, generous people, genuine people. honest people, honestly, I’m attracted to those who can make me laugh and smile even when I don’t feel like it.

7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now?

I literally have no idea, tbh? I don’t know if I’m ready for a relationship though, with my issues and mental state - I really need to get my shit together but who knows? If the right person came along... why not?

8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind?

Like right now? A couple of people to be honest for example, Thor Odinson, a tattooed model by the name of Billy.

9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?

Absolutely fucking not.

10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?

With you, actually. :)

11. What does the most recent text that you sent say?

Y’all are noisy as fuck - it was for a group chat, they all blew up my phone, LOL.

12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?

Friends Don't - Maddie & TaeMoment’s Silence - Hozier11pm - MalumaParty of One - Brandi Carlie, ft. Sam SmithWild Horses - Bishop Briggs

13. Do you like it when people play with your hair?

Hell fucking yeah. It is the most relaxing thing sometimes, just what I need. Can’t tell you how much I miss it.

14. Do you believe in luck and miracles?

Probably not as much as I should, but I do have some belief in both. It’s like believing in magic, imo.

15. What good thing happened this summer?

Well, I don’t know yet but I guess it’s the fact that I’m choosing to live despite all the crap I’ve been through and not letting my depression win.

16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

Yes, actually I would. They were a good kisser and sometimes a good kiss is good for you.

17. Do you think there is life on other planets?

Yes, I really do believe there is life elsewhere besides on earth, the universe is too big to believe we are the only intelligent life. It’s awfully egotistical to believe that.

 18. Do you still talk to your first crush?

Nope, have no idea what they are doing now or if they are even in the country, LOL.

19. Do you like bubble baths?

I enjoy them very much! They relieve stress and make my skin smell good.

20. Do you like your neighbors?

The new ones? Yes, I really do!

21. What are your bad habits?

I think to tend badly about myself, I chew on my nails, I forget to drink water somedays. I tend to overthink things a lot.

22. Where would you like to travel?

Greece, Italy, Asia, South America, fucking everywhere tbh.

100. How are you feeling?

I’m feeling okay, I spent most of my day outside enjoying nature and the sun a lot so my mood isn’t bad at all. I’m also working on it.

101. Do you type fast?

I like to think I do? The last time I took a typing test it was 95wpm? I don’t know if it’s increased or not.

102. Do you regret anything from your past?

Yes, there are a few things I do but I don’t think you grow unless you do have things you regret.

103. Can you spell well?

Probably not, but I really try a lot.

104. Do you miss anyone from your past?

Every goddamn day of my life and I’m pretty sure they know it, somehow.

105. Ever been to a bonfire party?

Yes, and they are a lot of fun. Need to go to one again soon.

106. Ever broken someone’s heart?

Sadly, yes. It was unintentional though.

107. Have you ever been on a horse?

Yes, my dad’s uncle has a farm in home country and I grew up there, even had my own horse.

108. What should you be doing?

Studying more, but I already put in four hours of studying, LOL.

109. Is something irritating you right now?

Not really, just the mosquito bites I suppose, LOL.

110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt?

Fucking yes, god. It just consumes me sometimes and it also confuses me because I don’t know if I like them or if I’m just being stupid, LOL.

111. Do you have trust issues?

Yes, yes I do, but I’m trying to work on that.

112. Who was the last person you cried in front of?

My older brother and I didn’t want to be but my anxiety got the best of me.

113. What was your childhood nickname?

I don’t remember, actually. I knew I had one but I haven’t heard it or thought about it for a long time. It’s been lost in time.

114. Have you ever been out of your province/state?

Yes, I have. Which is why I wanna move out of it so badly.

115. Do you play the Wii?

No, I do not, well at least not anymore.

116. Are you listening to music right now?

I paused it because I’m watching a telenovela, LOL.

117. Do you like chicken noodle soup?

Hell yeah! I love eating it and making it.

118. Do you like Chinese food?

YES. It is very delicious.

119. Favourite book?

I have too many favorites, but right now it’s The Inheritance Series. It has dragons in it and I love dragons.

120. Are you afraid of the dark?

I used to be when I was younger, but now not anymore.

121. Are you mean?

I don’t believe I am, but I guess it depends on who you are asking. I like to think I am kind and nice.

122. Is cheating ever okay?

No, I don’t believe it ever is. If you’re feeling something for someone else while you’re in a relationship, it’s better to let that person go instead of lying and betraying someone’s trust that way. The truth hurts but it’s better than a pretty lie.

123. Can you keep white shoes clean?

Hell no, which is why I rarely buy anything in white, to be honest. I like being outdoors a lot when the weather is nice and white and nature really doesn’t mix too well. I can still recall how mad my mom used to get when I was younger and came home with every kind of stain.

124. Do you believe in love at first sight?

I believe in attraction at first sight, or if you feel a vibe with someone. But love at first sight? I don’t think. I walked into love with someone before and I didn’t even know it until I was in the middle of it. Love happens gradually, I believe and it is a beautiful thing when it does happen that way.

125. Do you believe in true love?

Gods, yes, yes I do. It does exist, but like anything in life, you have to build it stone by stone, work for it step by step.

126. Are you currently bored?

No, I am not. I am answering these questions and watching this telenovela, so I am not.

127. What makes you happy?

My friends being happy. The beach, summer, a good book/film/show/music, my cat, things that make me laugh, eating and baking. Being out in nature. Feeling appreciated, useful, cared for.

128. Would you change your name?

I wanted to at one point but not anymore.

129. What your zodiac sign?

I am a Capricorn!

130. Do you like subway?

Like the restaurant? Yes, occasionally.

131. Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

I was gonna marry him, LOL. But I don’t really have a best friend of the opposite sex right now, so I don’t know how to answer that.

132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

Again, with you.

133. Favourite lyrics right now?

“I was a heavy heart to carryMy beloved was weighed downMy arms around his neckMy fingers laced to crown

I was a heavy heart to carryBut he never let me downWhen he had me in his armsMy feet never touched the ground.”

I listen to this song at least once a day, LOL.

ask me things, please!

[carolrance]

I AM DYING LMAO

i just found the most hilarious reviews for the handmaid’s tale and i’m dying lol. since twop is dead(?) (is it? i dunno cos i never look anymore tbh) this is the next best thing. and it’s doubly awesome cos she hates all the same characters. (mutual nick hate is my life). i have another post in my drafts about how amazing amy glynn’s reviews at paste are. and they are. but they are serious. these ones are snarktastic.

“Welcome back to America’s favorite rape and explosions show, The Handmaid’s Tale.”

“Nick goes out into the rain, full emo cigarette smoking, resigned to boning this virgin, when he spies something. Oh no! It’s Offred, sprawled in the rain, bleeding to death. He picks her up and screams for help. My god. These two. Offred is the world’s worst teenager. And Nick is her bad boy boyfriend. She’s going to robotically obey and then bleed to death in the rain? Get the fuck out of here with that. These two act like they are in a My Chemical Romance music video circa 2005.” (This is my fav one of them all.)

“Speaking of Nick, he’s still the worst! His baby bride comes to Offred for...advice? I don’t know why she comes to her exactly, except maybe it’s like coming to your sluttiest friend and asking a weird sex question? I don’t know.”

“Serena is clearly mad about Offred, and E. Moss is doing a great job as playing her as the bitchiest teenager in the house. Aunt Lydia has moved in to keep her eye on Offred, and she bursts in during Offred’s teenage sulk bath to instruct her to wash. Down there. You know. (vagina). Offred makes more defiant teenage eye contact as she washes. Down there. She’s almost coming on to Lydia. That’s cool, I guess.”

“We cut to the Colonies and some more cockadoodie plot machinations. Because of the mass casualty event, Emily and Janine, among others, are going to be pressed back into service as Handmaids. This is some ripe bullshit. First off, both are disobedient. Secondly, they’ve been in the radioactive Colonies for a hot minute--who knows what that’s done to their baby making machinery? But now the writers can bring back some important characters. COCKADOODIE.”

“Part of the purpose of the walks are so the fetus can hear and get used to Serena’s voice, you see, and Serena wants to talk shit about everyone they know.”

“We get some grade A pen pornography as she lovingly fingers Fred’s pens, and we close on the image of Serena behind the desk and Offred clicking the ballpoint just like Ofglen clicked the detonator. (We also get an insane music cue: “Venus.” You know, from the razor commercials and also the 1960s? Like, what the what the what, show.)”

“She’s worked on her shrine and her newspaper-clipping Crazy Wall ™, where she is reconstructing the events that led to the creation of Gilead. Which is great, but also, bitch, didn’t you watch the fucking news? You lived through this.”

“They load up into a truck, but at the last minute, Offred remembers that she is the worst and this show is supposed to go for ten seasons, so she hops out, gives the baby to Emily, and heads back into the night, to become Jedi June and fight Gilead to rescue her other daughter.”

“Serena stomps into Devil Fred’s mancave while he is enjoying his jazz records and demands that Offred go back to the Red Center. Fred talks her down, telling her that they don’t want to miss the joy of the pregnancy. Which, okay, Fred. You try having a testy teenager in your face all day.”

“I really wanted to punch her during all of this. How golly, and how insensitive, to poke through their sacred objects and get all teary-eyed, especially as they risk their lives to shelter her dumb ass.”

“Serena monologues about her drafts of new security orders. She wants things to get back to normal--she wants to cut back on the police state to normal dystopian police state levels.”

“It seems the Marthas have had enough, and they are taking action. Offred fucks around for about ten minutes because she is the worst, carving Nolite into the bedroom wall.”

“Anyway, Serena is super pissed, violently potting succulents and plotting dark deeds.”

“At some point, Offred takes a pout bath that is red with blood. She also bleeds clear through her underwear. When they get home, the Waterfords welcome Nick’s bride into the household, and then send Offred and Rita away. Rita is worried about Offred, but Offred has decided to bleed to death. Up the stairs she goes.”

“Offred’s presence rouses Fred out of his mini-coma for just long enough for him to remark on her size (just like a real son of a bitch). Offred leaves and makes out with Nick in the hall because they are stupid assholes. I mean, really. There are people and Eyes all over the place and these two are just slobbering all over. Offred also makes the Martha’s shooting all about her in a real self-centered way.”

“Let’s check in on the boring house, shall we? Offred decides to go around and collect godmothers for her baby.”

“Oh I forgot that Nick and Offred cuddled the baby and blah blah and I still hate them. Also, Nick, your baby bride’s blood is on your hands.”

“In the show, though, we’ve seen a lot of natal care, including ultrasounds, and we’ve seen the inside of a hospital room. Why in the fucking hell would they mess around with home birth at all? It’s so illogical it makes me mad.”

“So she goes outside with the shotgun, has another wolf encounter, and blasts off some rounds to alert someone of her presence. Then she goes back inside and takes off all her clothes and shits that kid out.”

“Back at the Waterford manse, Serena and Offred bond, AGAIN, over Eden’s execution and Serena lets Offred breast feed the baby, because she is completely internally inconsistent. On this episode, Serena will be affected by the atrocities of the regime she helped create. ANYWAY, THE END.”

“Eden wants to spruce up the apartment, and Nick gives her permission and plays the husband humoring his little woman’s whims. Which, total and complete barf forever. Nick still doesn’t see Eden as a potential threat, because he is an idiot. While she’s working on her HGTV audition tape, she finds the stack of contraband letters Nick took from Offred when she was going mad.”

“Into the house they run, Serena screaming Offred’s name like she’s going to catch her and probably murder her. I mean, this is full throated scream. If your dog ran away, you wouldn’t scream his name that way because he would be like: that bitch is crazy and wants to kill me. So it unsuprisingly doesn’t work on a human woman.”

“Meanwhile, Nick catches Eden kissing the douchebag Guardian. He’s like no big deal, and Eden freaks out. She says that he’s in love with the Handmaid, and he gaslights the fuck out of her denying it. Nick is a bastard. He shows Eden no kindness. He doesn’t treat her like a person. She doesn’t rate even a decent excuse. There are many things he could say: that she’s so young, that they don’t know each other, that he’s unhappy to be married at all. But he does none of those things. This woman is fifteen years old. She’s spent her adolescence under the yoke of Gilead. While she may be a true believer, she is still not in charge of her fate here. Nick is a bastard.”

“Devil Fred and Offred get in a knock-down, drag out, and he misquotes the bible at her and slaps her across the face. She then slaps him across his face, and is not immediately fucking super murdered.”

“Emily is like what the fuck, this place is weird. Lydia is like, bye! You better be good or we will kill you! Have fun! Anyway, she has a brief conversation with the Wife, who is like: this guy is horrible. He created The Colonies! He poisoned people! Commander Old Hipster gently shuffles her away, back to her crazy room.”

And serious business shit (cos it’s not all jokes):

“What I do think is wrong is the zig-zagging of Serena’s character. She’s mean and petty, and then she’s happy playing writer to Offred’s editor. Then she’s mad again, and then even more mad after that. Raping Offred to punish her for false labor is insane and irredeemable. Devil Fred has been consistently devilish--a prick who enjoys owning women--but Serena has seesawed from one extreme to another. I don’t think it makes her character more complicated or deep. Instead, it seems like inconsistency in the writing.

This show has been saluted as being of the times, for being very current. When I see children being ripped from their parents, or in an earlier episode this season, people desperate to escape to another country, and then I see it echoed in real life, it is hard to take. Dystopias are less entertaining to watch when you live in a country that seems to be accelerating toward the same.”

“Things I liked: Annie Lennox, Commander Old Hipster/his house/his wife/his Martha/his stolen art collection/taste in graphic novels/scarves, Rita and the Marthas rising up. Things I didn’t like: EVERYTHING ELSE

As adaptations go, the second season was always going to be a rough one. I can’t say that it was successful. They’ve turned June/Offred into an asshole, and they made Serena so inconsistent we don’t even know what to expect moment to moment. That’s not good writing, y’all.”

BTW, the site is:

https://heauxsmag.com/new-blog/?tag=handmaids+tale

[hollands-poppet]

BIG BROTHER PART 2// HARRISON OSTERFIELD X READER

Summary: Big Brother is a reality TV show that allows a number of contestants to live in isolation that try to avoid eviction by their houseguest, and last man standing wins half a million dollars.

Word count: 4.3K 💛

A/N: Yay, 2nd part is out.. I still don’t know if this series is working out the way I thought it would, I also didn’t write the HoH comp and veto comp because its literally A LOT! lol but I hope you can just use y’alls imagination a bit. Idk this part has a lot going on.. If I missed anybody in the taglist please let me know! 

Warnings: A TON of cussing tbh, sort of proofread not really, hella drama 

-

-

All Z does is walk away and go up to Haz and Y/N who are now in the beehive room, “We got to pull out a win in this HoH.” Y/N shuts the door behind her, “I have to tell you guys something before the HoH comp..I got the first temptation of the summer.”

Harrison scratches his head, “Wait, what temptation?” Y/N takes a seat and looks up at the two, “I got called to the diary room the other night, and America gave me the first temptation.” He scratches his head, “I’m so confused.” You slap your forehead, “Haz, America basically gave me like a care package.” The blonde’s eyes widen, and he has a shook face.

Zendaya covers her mouth, “You’re kidding?” Y/N shakes her head, “No, I’m being deadass.. I get to stop an eviction from happening on eviction night.” Harrison stands in shock, he picks Y/N into an embrace and spins her around “America likes you, you’re doing something right.”

From the corner of Y/N’s eye, she can feel Zendaya staring hard “Haz, put me down.”

Y/N’s DR: As much as I love being held by Haz, I immediately tell him to put me down. I can’t have Z thinking we’re a thing. *purses her lips* Well, we aren’t..I don’t think we are anyway.

Zendaya’s DR: Since when was Haz a part of my alliance with Y/N? Maybe this showmance thing might be true but I still trust her and until she shows disloyalty, I’m gonna continue to be loyal to her.

Zendaya crosses her arms and gets close to Y/N, “Don’t tell anyone else, this stays between us okay?” Y/N and Haz nod their heads in synchronicity and they all begin to walk out of the room.

Zendaya’s DR: I wish she would’ve just told me and not Harrison in the room but hopefully she can use the temptation when it’s the right moment.

*After the HoH competition*

The houseguests start walking into the house from the backyard, everyone walking in a bit annoyed. It wasn’t an endurance competition, it was a question competition in which Tana won.

Tana’s DR: That’s right, after being on the block last week.. YOUR girl is now HoH! *holds up house key* This whole house is underestimating me..

Shawn walks up to Tana whose drinking water in the kitchen, “Hey girl, congrats.” He goes in for a hug and she whispers in my ear, “You’re not my target, I want Madeleine out this week.” He pulls away and nods his head in his agreement, “ Yeah, yeah. Whatever you want to do.”

Shawn’s DR: Of course I tell Tana lets do what she wants, she’s freaking HoH.

Madelaine’s DR: Tana being HoH is a bit scary because I know I’m going up on the block.

Tana brings his head backs in for a whisper, “Hook me up with Tom.” Shawn’s head immediately  shoots back and looks back at Tom who is talking to Hayley and Y/N about how he has so closing to win the competition.

Shawn’s DR: What the fuck? Is she serious? *he shrugs his shoulders* I mean, I’ll tell him but I can’t promise he’ll want her back.

Tana walks away from Shawn and heads to the restroom to shower passing Madelaine in the hallway.

Madelaine’s DR: Well, Tana is HoH now and this sucks because no matter what I tell her she’s going to me up next to Joe. *she scratches her root while a tear rolls down her face*

Joe walks into the bathroom while Tana takes her makeup off in the mirror, “Hey can we talk?” She just nods while wiping off her eyeliner, and he takes a seat on the sink counter, “Look, had you not blew up my game like that I would’ve taken you down with the veto.”

She turns to him while rubbing her eye, “No, I totally get it. I fucked up, you’re not my target. Madelaine is.” He jumps off the counter and starts looking at himself in the mirror, “Who are you going to throw up there with her?” She takes her hair out of a bun, “I want to throw up Y/N or Harrison up there with her.”

Joe looks at Tana through the mirror, “you’re serious?” She turns her back and leans on the counter, “Yeah, I just feel like they’re both strong players.” He continues to brush his hair, “What about a backdoor? Don’t give either one to get a chance to play the veto.”  

Tana bites her lip, “Yeah, I mean we’re still screwed if they get picked to play.” He sighs, “The odds are smaller though, just think about it.”

Joe grips her shoulder lightly, and then walks out. Tana turns back into the mirror and know that she has a lot of thinking to do.

-

*Big Brother’s voice comes on the intercom*

“Tom, please go the diary room.”

Tom is in the kitchen as he makes his way to the diary room. As he enters into the diary room, Shawn exits the bathroom and questions Tom’s where abouts, “Has anyone seen Tom? I wanted to see if he wanted to lift for a bit?” He is standing in the center of the kitchen as Tana passes by him going up the stairs, “He’s dead.”

Shawn eyes widen, “What?” His hands land behind his head, tears beginning to flood his eyes “You’re kidding? Don’t lie.” She smiles as she keeps walking up the stairs, “Well, I don’t see him do you?” Thats the last thing she says before she enters her room.

He begins to whimper in the kitchen as he looks around, “You guys..” his voice is cracking. Y/N makes her way into the kitchen, “Shawn, what’s wrong?” He covers his mouth, “Tom is dead.” Y/N’s hand immediately pops to her chest, “What the fuck? Are you serious?” Harrison comes up next him, “What is going on?”

Madelaine chimes in, “Tana alleged that Tom is dead.”

Harrison’s DR: Tom is dead?

Meanwhile the rumor that Tom is dead, he is actually just in the diary room about to find out something juicy. When he first enters the room, he notices an envelope sitting on the chair “What’s this?” He picks it up and continues to open it as he takes his seat, this looks interesting.

“Tom, congratulations. America has decided to tempt you with the Pendant of Protection.” His jaw drops as it transitions into a smile, his crow’s feet really shining, “America...you love me?” He lets out a chuckle as he continues to read, “If you accept this temptation, you will be protected from being nominated or evicted for the next three evictions, but remember-every temptation comes with a consequence!”  He pumps his fist, “Of course, I’ll take it.” As he sets down the envelope, he picks up another one that reads the consequences, “You must choose a houseguest at random to wear a toad costume for the rest of the week.”

“HA! Easy. Thanks, America!”

*Outside the Diary room*

“You guys, I haven’t seen him?! Please like-I’m having a meltdown.” Y/N is pacing in the kitchen as she goes calms Shawn down, “Who told you that he’s dead? The producers?” He nods his head, “Tana! She told me Tom is dead!”

Y/N’s DR: At first its hard to believe that Tom is dead but he’s literally MIA and we all begin to freak out.

Shawn’s DR: I start crying because I’ve grown close to Tom in this house, and he’s literally someone I can see myself being friends with outside of this house. Like I love him, he’s such a good guy. 

As Shawn is crying while sitting in the kitchen, Tom exits the diary room.

“Tom, what the fuck?!” Hayley yells loud enough for Shawn to hear, “Tom?!”

The brown haired man stands confused as he just missed out on everything, “What’s wrong?” And before he could even talk, the wind is knocked out of him by Shawn hugging him, “Bro, what’s wrong?” Shawn cries into Tom’s shoulder, “Tana, told me you were dead.” Tom hugs his good friend back.

Tom’s DR: Really, Tana? This was a sick cruel joke, and I’m gonna let you know. Shawn and I have grown close in this house and for her to say that my best friend is dead was uncalled for. Watch out for me, Tana.

A few hours later after Shawn has calmed down, Tom makes his way to the HoH room to talk to Tana. He knocks before entering, he goes in as soon as he hears her welcome him in.

He walks in and stands sturn in front of her bad, she is almost confused “Uh, what’s a matter with you?”

Tom takes a seat on her bed, “what’s a matter with me, how about you explain to me why you told Shawn that I was dead?” Tana literally makes a farting noise with her lips and starts to crack up, “He actually believed me?! What the fuck? That’s everything.”

He makes a snarky face as she continues to laugh, “It’s not funny, it was cruel and mean.” She continues to chuckle, “Tom, it was never meant to escalate like that.” And just like that, it was like he triggered a switch, “You should be scared, Tom. I’m HoH.”

Tana’s DR: Are you kidding me? LIKE why would Shawn think I was being serious? I’m in a house full of idiots.

Tom’s DR: I should be scared Tana? I can’t go up on the block for three weeks, thanks America! You’ll be waiting on a surprise Tana.

Tana’s DR: I know Tom and I are fighting right now, but he’s so hot when he’s angry.

The next day the houseguest are all called into the living room by Tana who is holding an envelope, “Hey everyone, please take a seat. I have a message from Big Brother.”

She rips open the envelope and begins to read, “Houseguest, you may notice that Hayley is not in the room with us and that is because she has had to leave the game. Unfortunately she’s had an emergency that has caused her to have to forfeit her game. Hayley wants to apologize to all of you and just wants you to know that she wants to take care of her mental health. The Big Brother will continue as is, thank you.”

Zendaya’s DR: I know that everyone is competing for money but at the end of the day, we’re all human and I hope that Hayley is okay and figures out everything.

Y/N’s DR: holy shit, that was unexpected. I hope Hayley is okay and can figure out whatever has happened.

Tom’s DR: I have to applaud Hayley for stepping out of the game and deciding to take care of herself because that’s such an amazing thing. The whole house loves you Hayley, we love you. 

A couple of hours later, everyone is scattered throughout the house and hanging out.

Harrison and Y/N are hanging out in the living room, her legs are lying across his while they talk.

“You know, it’s getting harder and harder to resist you the longer we’re in this house.” She laughs as she pushes his face, “What? Get out of here. You only want me because there are limited options in this house.” His face cames close to hers as, he is giggling as she is still playing hard to get “I’m being serious, there is just something about you that I really like.”

Y/N is mesmerized by his eyes, she tucks hair behind her ear as she bites her bottom lip “I want you too but I can’t...we can’t.” She doesn’t want to put a target on her back, or his. Showmances are notorious for being targets in the house, and they don’t make it far into the game but something within Harrison is telling him that he would risk that for Y/N.

“I would be lying if I said I wasn’t attracted to you because I am..but I can’t put that target on you. I’m sorry Harrison.” He takes the bandana he’s wearing and slides it off, “Look, I know you want me, I’ll protect you throughout this game.” He takes her legs in closer, “We’ll just keep it lowkey, nobody has to know..just me and you.”

She’s tempted, she’s wanted him since the moment she seen him and this summer is all about temptation right? Her hand lands on his cheeks, “No one can find out okay?” And before he can respond, she leaves a quick peck on his lips and covers her face in embarrassment.

“Did I just do that?” She begins to laugh, maybe Harrison would help you out in this game and you could help him.  

Y/N’s DR: I don’t know, it feels good to be comfortable with Harrison and I don’t know. I’m feeling conflicted between him and Z, now. I want to take both to the end but I can’t take both. 

Harrison’s DR: Y/N is literally my number one in this house, I can trust her with anything at this point. 

Zendaya’s DR: Harrison and Y/N don’t know that I’m literally eaves dropping by the corner of the room. I literally heard everything they were saying, and I can’t believe her. I’m supposed to be her final 2 and she’s here in a showmance? She ain’t taking me to the end.

*Tomorrow during the Nomination ceremony*

Tana is standing at the head of the table while everyone is waiting for her to turn the nomination keys. “This is the nomination ceremony, it is my responsibility as the head of household to put up two houseguest for eviction. I will turn two keys to lock in my nomination and they’re faces will appear on the memory wall. The first houseguest I nominate is…”

She turns the key to reveal Madelaine’s face on the memory wall, no one is surprised because she nominated Tana last week. “My next nomination is..” And she turns the next key and the face on the wall is Joe.

“I have nominated you Madelaine and Joe for eviction this week. I really have nothing to say to either of you other than you both had it out for me last week, and now it’s biting you in the ass. Good luck in the veto.”

Tana’s DR: Honestly, I could give less than two fucks about last week and y’all might think that Joe is up there because I don’t like him but we actually have a backdoor plan in set to get Tom out. We decided to put him up in the block so that we have an extra player to play for the veto, either him or I needs to win this.

Joe’s DR: I’m just acting like I’m upset about being on the block but I’m really not, this is all a part of the plan to backdoor Tom and get out him out of this house. He’s a threat, and he needs to go.

The veto competition plays out only a couple of hours later, the two nominees, Tana, Tom and Hayley were all picked to play. It was about an hour comp, the houseguests having to spell out the longest word they could make but having to move through honey.

Tana soaks in her HoH bathtub, making sure all honey from her body is gone when she hears someone walk into her room, “Who is that?”

“It’s Tom, can I come in?” She’s in a bikini because she would be completely naked in front of the whole world, she looks into one of the camera’s and rolls her eyes “Yeah, come in.”  He walks into the room and takes a seat in front of Tana on the sink, “So what’s the plan?” Her head pops up from the slanted part of the bathtub “I mean, I’m not really at liberty to say much.”

Tom’s DR: So, there are already a bunch of red flags. She isn’t telling me who her replacement nominee is going to be which either indicates she just doesn’t know or she’s backdooring me.

“Tana, I just want to know who you’re thinking, you don’t have to say anything.” She adds more bubbles to her bath as she sits up, “Look, I really don’t know. I have a lot to think about.”

Tana’s DR: I’m not giving Tom what he wants to hear because he is the replacement nominee, I have to keep a poker face on.

*Veto meeting*

Madelaine and Joe sit on the nomination chairs in the living room while everyone is gathered around on the couches, and Joe standing in front of his nomination chair with the veto hanging from his neck.

Joe begins his speech, “This is the veto meeting, Madelaine and I have been nominated for eviction but I have the power to veto one of the nominations. As much as it kills me for you to stay on the block, I have to use this veto on myself.”

He looks at Tana who is standing at the head of the room, “Tana..since I have just vetoed one of your nominations, you’re going to have to name a replacement nominee.” Joe moves out of the way of the nomination chair and takes a seat next to the houseguest on the couch.

“This houseguest I’m about to nominate was very problematic this week, and is also a big threat in this game. I also wanted to work with you so badly and even possibly be in a relationship but since you were open to none of that...Tom, take a seat.”

Tom literally begins to laugh as he seats in one of the regular couches. The tension of the room is high, Shawn is beginning to freak out. Y/N and Harrison’s mouths are dropped, no one was expecting this.  

As the houseguest wait for Tom to take his seat, a video begins to play on the television that reveals words that say Pendant of Protection. Instead of taking a seat, Tom stands up and pulls out a necklace from his pocket and puts it around his neck.

“Yo, I think he got a temptation..” Zendaya says as she tugs on her kinky curls. Tom looks at Tana directly in the face, “America has tempted me with the Pendant of Protection which keeps me safe from being evicted from the house for 3 weeks. I’m sorry Tana, you’re going to have to re-name another nominee.”

Tom takes a seat in between Hayley and Shawn,the amount of confidence in him is thriving right now. Tana’s stress level is through the roof, and as much as she wants to yell, she only has seconds to replace a new nominee.

She bites her lip, “I’m sorry Harrison, you got screwed. Please take a seat.”

The blonde gets up from the couches and takes a seat from next to the redhead, and Joe stands up “This veto meeting is adjourned.” He stands up to close the box and everyone sort of just sits in shock.

Y/N is shaking, one of her closet allies is thrown on the block and she doesn’t know why. She immediately gets up from her seat and follows Tana, “Hey can we talk?”  

Tana turns around, stopping in front of everyone wanting to put Y/N on the spot “Did you want to ask me why I put your lover on the block?”

Y/N becomes flustered, and Tana’s comments make her shake even more “He’s not my lover, this was just so random.. I don’t understand.”

Tana crosses her arms and scoffs, “You should ask Zendaya, she threw you guys under the bus last night.”

*flashback*

Zendaya is eating some oats while hanging out with Tana, “Look, I know we had beef before but there are much bigger targets in this house.” The blonde pulls of the headphones from her head and asks for names in which Z responds, “Y/N and Harrison.”

Tana laughs at the shocked expression on Y/N’s face, “That’s right, your best friend told me all about your showmance. If there is anyone you should be talking to, it’s Zendaya.” And with that she walks up the stairs into her room.

Y/N feels the ultimate betrayal, especially by her closet ally. The whole house including Zendaya saw the confrontation, you immediately turn around and charge at your friend, “Are you kidding me, Zendaya? You’re actually fucking serious, why would you do that?”

Zendaya’s DR: I did throw them under the bus but I had no idea Tana was going to do that. It’s time for damage control in front of the houseguest.

Zendaya stands up, “You think I’m stupid? I heard both of you talking about wanting each other-” you interrupt, “So I guess that final 2 deal is out of the front door huh?”

Y/N’s DR: There is an obvious line drawn in the sand between Zendaya and me. I just can’t let her get away with this.

Z shrugs her shoulders, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Y/N gets closer, “I Can’t believe you right now Zendaya, this is bullshit.” Before Y/N can get any closer she is pulled by Harrison, “Just drop it, come on.”

“That’s right Harrison, defend your girl!” Z yells as she walks to one of the bedrooms as Harrison pulls Y/N out into the backyard.

“It’s okay, it’s okay!” Harrison yells as he drags Y/N out, “It’s not Haz! We’re going to be targets now, we have to get you off the block. I’m using my temptation on you.” He sits her down by the pool and shakes his head, “No, no. I think I can convince a few people to save me, I would never ask you to do that.”

You put your arm around his shoulders, “I can’t believe her.. I guess that’s the name of the game right?” Haz picks Y/N up bridal style, “You’re a bit hot right now, let’s cool you off?” Y/N frowns her eyebrows “What are you talkin-” and before she can finish what she is saying, he’s thrown her into the pool fully clothed.

She comes back up to the surface and spots the blue eyed man laughing his head off, “Ooo, Haz. You’re gonna regret that.” They both laugh as he follows into the pool after that, as he rises from the bottom he grabs Y/N and holds her, “We’re gonna be fine, I’m gonna protect us for the rest of this game.. I swear.” You nod, now that you guys are exposed this was probably you’re only option, “if you stay, They’re going to come after us for the rest of the season..” he smirks, “I don’t care, it’s just you and I now.”

Y/N’s DR: it sucks because Zendaya was my closest ally and if Harrison stays were going to have to stay on alert at all times now, if he stays we have to win HoH next week.

Harrison’s DR: So I’m on the block which sucks but I think I can convince some of the houseguest to get rid of Madelaine this week. She’s already done enough damage so hopefully my plan works.

*Eviction Night a couple of days later*

Julie Chen appears on the screen in the living room “Houseguests, the time has come to cast your votes to evict. Tana as current Head of Household, you will not be to cast a vote, neither will the two nominees. You will only cast a vote in an event of a tie. Y/N, you’re first, please had to the diary room.”

Y/N heads into the diary room and sits in the DR couch, “I happily vote to evict Madelaine.” Julie thanks her as she exits and next Shawn enters the room.

“Hi , please cast your vote to evict.” He waves, “Hey Julie, I cast my vote to evict Madelaine.” He gets up from the chair and high fives Tom as he enters the diary room, Tom takes his seat. “Hi Tom, please cast your vote to evict.

The rest of the houseguest continue to vote while everyone sits in silence til Julie returns on the screen.

“Houseguests, all the votes are in. Just a reminder, once the evicted houseguest is revealed, he or she will only have a few moments to say goodbye to their houseguests and walk out the front door. With a vote of 3-2… Madelaine, you have been evicted from the Big Brother house.”

Madelaine hugs her houseguests one by one, not holding any grudge while saying her final goodbyes. She takes her final steps and walks into the crowd with Julie to do her interview and the door closes, all hell breaking loose.

Tana stands on the table that is in the living room, “Why the fuck are the votes going south? Harrison was supposed to go this week!”

Harrison moves to the kitchen, “I’m standing right here you know”

Harrison’s DR: I was supposed to leave this week but I was able to cut a deal with Shawn and Tom.

Shawn’s DR: Tom and I decided that if we let Harrison stay, we could control him and Y/N as numbers for our side but once we don’t need them anymore then they’re gone.

Julie’s voice comes on the screen again: “Houseguest, please head to the backyard for the HoH competition.”

Zendaya’s DR: I HAVE to win this HoH, I need to get Y/N and Harrison on the block.

Y/N and Harrison high five each other, “Good luck Haz.” He winks at her as they enter their individual cubbies, with all the other houseguest in theirs as well.

Julie’s voice comes on the intercom: “ Houseguest, the power is up for grabs. Tana, as outgoing Head of Household you are not allowed to compete. Tonight’s competition will consist of all things Big Brother, I’ll read you a series of questions that will test your knowledge on the items in the Big Brother house.”

The competition literally takes out all the houseguest with the first question except Zendaya and Y/N.

Julie reads the next question: “In the living room, there are 20 coal balls in the fireplace. True or false?”

Zendaya turns her answer to false, Y/N turns her answer to true. Julie chimes in, “Answers are locked in. The correct answer is false which makes Zendaya the new head of Household.”

Z jumps out of the cubbie and straight into Tom’s arms, she throws her fist in the air happily as Tana puts the necklace around her neck, “Congrats girl.” As Z and the other houseguest celebrate her victory, Y/N stays in the cubbie as she bows her head in defeat.

She feels arms come around her waist, knowing that it’s Harrison she hugs him while he kisses her forehead, “We’re for sure going up.”

-

-

A/N: I WOULD LOVE SOME FEEDBACK GUYS, PLEASE PLEASE! I want to know what you guys think of this series, I don’t even know how I feel so knowing how you feel will definitely help me a TON! Theories, predictions, or whatever you want to say is welcome. Also I know that Y/N has the temptation BUT will she actually use it? Idk anyway haha Love you all-Amy 💛

Taglist: @ladybirduris​ @princesssparklesxo @imjakeharrison @spidey-pal @thedaydreamingwriter​ @abstract-live-good 

[lillovespells]

“‘Mother’... is the name for god , on the lips & hearts of all children... “

MEN HAVE HEARTS. WOMEN HAVE WOMBS.

HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY TO ALL THE KIND , NURTURING , LOVING , CONSISTENTLY PATIENT COMPASSIONATE / ENCOURAGING TEACHERS... ¡! you are Angels on Earth & your energy is the kind of beauty that melts me entirely... honestly. i’ve never seen a sexier side of a female than the calm resilient strength that sighs in the souls of dedicated Mothers... Mothers who refuse to let any parts of a Heart go unprotected or spiritually unhappy...

💐💜😽💐💜😽💐💜😽 we’re doing all this talking about ‘Mother’s’ , but we’re not talking about MOTHERHOOD. & that’s horrifying... b/c wombs are the key to this world...

i love to see people’s mother’s day pictures. where they come from always makes perfect sense... you always see the core of a person’s energy in their mother. b/c that’s all a womb is. energy’s incubator.

people always attempt to pick-at me & bully me & side-eye me , b/c i’ve made it so clear that i had a shitty ‘mom’ i had to psychologically mother & actually take care of... but , that’s literally 90% of the population. so i’ve never been embarrassed about it... & when people try to use it against me , it only clarifies who’s the same type of Heartless.

& Heartlessness is actually what i’m about to go in on... b/c to BE A MOTHER IS TO BE A HEART... to be the very energy that feelings come from. that Power is being completely disrespected... by all ages of females - in America - ... & it’s too clear that the Womb being the Root of Birth , needs to be reiterated for today’s female who may have lost touch w/ that reality & lives like less than a vessel of Life.

maybe it would help the recent Feminine to comprehend that the overall Masculine ONLY SEES THEM AS ‘ HOLY - DOORS ‘ ... literally. i promise you... the Masculine is only responding to how you’re treating your Spiritual Duty to shape their seeds. from overprotective , to disrespectful , to evasive , to disappearing... ALL those things men get accused of doing out of their ‘insensitivity’ ; are actually behaviors that come DIRECTLY from their Vulnerability... no matter how the masculine treats you , don’t be upset... b/c they’re only reflecting YOUR behavior... if they see you disrespect what they see as Holy ; they’ll disrespect it twice as harmful as you do. & if that doesn’t wake you ; then obviously you’re enjoying whatever it is you do... if you’re unhappy ; it’s always about some mismanagement of your emotions... b/c , if you ASK A MAN A DIRECT QUESTION ; HE WILL ANSWER YOU... & as long as you’re not lying to your Self ; you’ll accept their Rational / Answers... & yeah , that does take Responsibility... but ; it’s a FUN responsibility. to be in touch w/ the Masculine’s / Honesty. & so what...? what’s to be afraid of ; ask how they feel & what they want ; & if it’s not you... you don’t have to waste your time... it might not even be an insult... ( & if you can control your insecurities long enough to continue the conversation ; you could maintain a plug & the answers your looking for... )

if you’re not afraid to be all these other dramatic things y’all love to describe yourselves as; why are you afraid of Honesty ? it’s this absence of honesty / awareness within a female’s heart , that brings forth equally empty children that cause others their searching pains instead of growing alongside everyone else... cycles of the exact same sadness ; recreated by the ones who aren’t ready to devote their whole lives to someone else , creating more who’ll do the same... the ones who think money buys love but leave their family’s emotions as unattended to as their own ; & create the sociopaths that seek destruction instead of connection to soothe themselves.

‘Womben’ , bring Life forth... literal Life Force... & there is nothing more sexy than what sustains life... more & more men even release their Masculine naturally , to attempt to embody the vessel of the Purity / Feminine. the beauty is incomparable ; even in the animal kingdom... & the beauty of ‘mortal’ / human females is said to have brought ‘Gods’ / extraterrestrials / entities from all elsewhere to touch them...

TO BE THE FEMININE IS TO BE A HEALER. to be all Heart & Cleansing & Cultivating... to Be a Source for Growth & Evolution & Safety... but , now everybody wants to be prided on being the exact opposite while still getting praise for those attributes they’re rejecting... the confusion is at an all time time ; w/ rage being used as a tool to bring awareness to the lost happiness of women that they’re trying too hard to blame on men... but ; we all ask ourselves ; what is a womb that doesn’t Grow...? & we know the answer is stagnation. b/c the matter comes down to how you use your Heart / Love. do you use your Self to hurt or heal your environments...¿? if you truly have Motherhood in your Heart , you WILL nurture especially the worst situations , instinctively.

i know i’m archaic af... dumb ‘old-fashioned’ for these new school viral hookers... lol. we don’t ever respect each other & that’s a part of life i’m more than fine w/... b/c i’m greedy actually... & i don’t mind hoarding all the legitimacy for me... b/c , i’ve always loved to be the best thing by a man’s side , like a loyal friend or dog or watch... lol. a part of a legacy / Family... a ‘King’ that matched my ‘Queen’... so , call that ‘traditional as you will... i’ve never seen the problem w/ being looked after like an object ; but now that’s incredibly offensive , most females say... meanwhile they’re nude & chasing every handout they can ungratefully demand , as they sell their souls to their insecurities & emotionally abuse anyone who won’t immediately give them what they want...

so honest question , wtf happened to the female standard...? our power of ‘CHOOSING’. since the dawn of feminine culture , we’ve primped our lives in order to ‘pick’ what suits / surrounds us... now there’s so much self loathing , the settling for nothing & complaining about everything is the trend... other females literally won’t even accept me b/c men make me happy... lol. b/c i’m not confused & angry or dishonest / slutty. females refuse to befriend me b/c they know i won’t tolerate the spiritual disloyalty... but they’d rather hate happiness to excuse their irresponsible trauma , than have a friend that could change their life... & they’re the same egomaniacs in their relationships as well. choosing who they can dominate instead of who they can Evolve w/. comfort over productivity unfortunately. & then they wonder why they end up alone , or emotionally alone...

nobody even comprehends the difference between being sexual for attention / ‘slutty’ or being sexual for satisfaction / ‘freaky’... & that was always something only your mother could proper instill... so we lost it decades ago ; when females decided that respecting themselves shouldn’t be required for their strength or creativity... so , now everything is the same thirsty over exposed attempts at understanding themselves , before they even understand what they’re exposing or who they want to be. just spiritual infants , born from the emotionally unavailable girls who don’t know what love is to teach it to someone else yet.

what kind of ‘Love’ do you give...? what kind of Love lives in your Heart...? how do you feel about your self...? b/c that’s exactly what your love feels like... your heart is actually what you’re feeding your children... BELIEVE THAT. what you put into their Heart is actually what sustains them their entire lives.

a father’s presence is meant to instill the masculine traits a child requires... like emotional acceptance / balance , positive attitude / rationality , strength / backbone / integrity... the resilience a heart needs , is meant to be observed from a more masculine / protective force... lack of emotional control leads to all the confusion children go through. & all the confusion leads to them being nothing but the social burdens that are insecure / egomaniacs & prey on instead of Love others ; b/c their hearts did not grow w/ Love as an ingredient... a father can discipline flesh & mind ; but only female can make the Heart vulnerable enough to be taught... soft enough to allow lessons to be absorbed. without the female threshold of Vulnerability , a child begins to die spiritually...

our nurturing is supernatural. that’s why our vulnerability is our juggernaut power...

please don’t have kids until you understand what kind of souls you want to bring into the world... what kind of hearts are you adding to our Collective...? what pieces of your Self would you be putting your children together w/...? i heard the most heart wrenching beautiful quote that always stays w/ me prominently... it was basically , ‘ having children is deciding to allow a piece of your Heart , to run around outside of you & have it’s own life without you ‘ ... & that’s a principal so astounding when you level w/ the fact that so many kids are being born from heartlessness. but , admitting that , explains every aspect of depression in the world...

i wish we could go back to understanding wombs. be aware of their healing properties & miracle energy... Connect to the actual source of our beauty / Vulnerability... we poison our temples w/ too many things... spiritually mentally & physically.

motherhood is a level of womanhood that cannot be faked whether you have kids or not... your emotional mind will be reflected through the attitude intelligence & integrity of your offspring... think of yourself as a farm, what do you produce...? is what comes from you, safe for the world to consume ? you’re having kids but you might be setting traps ; or becoming one yourself...

knowing what kind of mother i wanted to be , changed my life.

we become our mothers. every single one of us. undeniably the composition of our mother’s emotions at the time we were growing in the midst of them. i’m the same ferociously unchangeable sharp tongue & laser observation skills, ocd & vanity of mine. all the fury she had, i embody. channeled into the exact opposite directions. but definitely equal parts Armageddon... just Focused.

i’m actually Grateful... pressure is Diamonds.

& speaking of Mother’s ; y’all got ass shots posted beside your mother on mother’s day & it is cracking me up & proving my point... &&& your half-nudes are posted beside your kids... & you don’t even understand the respect that comes w/ supporting another life... much less nurturing one. because your mother never taught you that your mind mattered more , or she wouldn’t be letting you have - much less post - the insecurities you have. &&& to personally go as far as to not even consider your kids futures & how they’ll grow up in a social media determined society ; w/ their own mother next to nude beside the other public photos of their personal life... to disrespect the CHILDHOOD of your own children ; by not only exposing them to your own nudity... but then directly involving their personal lives in it. so every time someone sees them , they’re associated w/ you flaunting your body for social media. that’s horribly selfish. & almost as sick as hiding your children like your shame.

( & if that’s you... congrats , you guys are single handedly supplying the worlds psychopaths... growing into their disassociation skills they’re learning from your ‘cold’ / ‘nice-for-what’ / ‘boss / bitch / bad’ dime-a-dozen washed-up empty attitudes... as the embarrassment that turns to ptsd , evolves into apathy & surfaces when they become another cliche serial killer focused on unsuspecting / ignorant / friendly females... & not to mention , adding more empty zombie fury of lowerminded females to the mix of already unhappy masculine energy... )

look ladies... yeah , you’re an instagram model that has to post near nudes to stay relevant in the clubs you turn out... we get it. but contract some social management that can explain to you the marketing importance of separating your family & their lifestyle from your own... maybe starting w/ having a separate page for your ‘modeling’ or professional things or business endeavors... save your kids for the people most intimate w/ you... & that creates a healthy environment for everybody’s personal growth... ( your kids don’t have to be ridiculed or judged or excluded or discriminated against , for your public choices... when you could be protecting them from that scrutiny. )

moral of the story of Female Culture is ; THINKING ABOUT THE GOOD OF OTHERS IS WHAT MAKES YOU A WOMAN & IS THE HEART OF A ‘MOTHER’... birth , has nothing to do w/ Motherhood. & we all know that inside.

the fall of the Collective occurred when bitter females decided they wanted to compete against the mental strength of masculinity , w/ the confused / emotions of femininity... when females got jealous of the emotional freedom of the masculine rationale... instead of being responsible / straightforward as males; their insecurities made them see men as reckless... & so they only pretended to be heartless & only wounded themselves too deep to trust...

THE BRUISES ON THE COLLECTIVE FEMININE EGO , ARE WHAT DETERMINE THE RULES OF AMERICAN SOCIETY... &&& THAT NEEDS TO BE STOPPED... basing the standards of life on the ever changing insecurities of estrogen’s instability ; is destroying EVERYTHING. it’s already made everybody too sensitive to be themselves or be comfortable w/ acceptance.

ITS BECOME A WAR ON MASCULINITY. THE WAR AGAINST RATIONALITY. a fight to suppress emotional strength & mental responsibilities & societal integrity.

— & now... females base ENTIRE RELATIONSHIPS ON SOCIAL MEDIA STATUS... & you can’t even ‘date’ / discover a female legitimately / respectfully... b/c , having a mate has to be comparable to paparazzi. & most base EVERYTHING on social media display before actual emotional relevance. girls will pursue & tolerate & hate based upon an imaginary standard of strangers egos, instead of their own souls. & it’s worsening day by day. even exploiting their children for donations or likes or simply attention.... it’s disgusting. & my heart has been shattered by females posting selfies after the suicides of their sad husbands, as if attention is all they ever wanted; even before grieving. shallow is basically the only option.

& what happens to this world once Wombs have all shallowed...? once there’s no discipline left to restrain emotions & create solutions / productivity instead of more emotions...¿? look around you , if you’re ready for the answer , you already see it...

one more question... what kind of ‘mother’ or ‘woman’ or ‘female’ or ‘feminine’ are you , if you don’t even have the strength to accept & nurture & grow & heal & soften the most brutal aspects of our world...? that IS our ‘Power’ , to soften , NEVER TOUGHEN. that is the Magik within our majesty... Vulnerability. so if you cannot be welcoming understanding & encouraging , solve those issues for the sake of everything.

( even the strongest / toughest men have to kneel to the sacredness of Vulnerability... & the most intelligent ones embody it as a protective mentality. )

don’t kill the strength of the Masculine , then wonder why your disrespectful distractions are killing you.

— &&& that DOES go for MEN too.

( &&& DEPRAVITY ; ONLY COMES A STEP BEFORE YOU’RE DEAD-INSIDE. so never stop respecting your Seed. don’t forget your Power to Create / Soul itself... )

& if y’all don’t STOP treating your children like your personal little trained-pony / ego-valets to assist in your manipulations... & / or , earn your checks... & using your innocent daughters , like your last chance to be slutty... & abusing your sons emotionally , like they’re your last chance to get a man’s affection... i’ll hafta’ start hexxxing y’all worse than karma ; w/ the permission of Source... b/c you’re worse than all evil. b/c , aware you’re fully aware that you’re intentional abusers... you’re suffocating others w/ your hell... you are not Spiritually ‘allowed’ to use the life of an innocent to feed your ego... & I WILL CALL YOU OUT. no doubt.